Professionalizing motherhood/homeschooling (s/o indirect homeschooling thread)

[stripe]

So what do you consider your job to be? What about those who don't have a paying job? Is motherhood a job? (Do you identify with Dr Laura, for saying she is her kid's mom?) Is being a homeschooling parent your job? A side gig? A hobby? Something else?

 

Let's discuss! I am always looking for wisdom in this area.

[GWOB]

Being a wife, mother, and homeschooler is my vocation. It is my God-given purpose. I don't have a job.

[Carrie12345]

In my own little mind, I consider being a sahm/hsm/mom-mom/homemaker my "job". In reality, I absolutely hate it when people try to tell me that I do have a "real job". Yes, I have tasks and responsibilities, but so do people who actually HAVE JOBS.

[bluemongoose]

I am a wife, mom, a teacher (hs), a housekeeper, a nurse, and warm arms/lap/shoulder with a set of ears to listen.

 

I think it is a very important job and I feel honored to be able to do it!

[elegantlion]

Being a wife and a mother is part of my life. I consider homeschooling a full time job. I worked full time, sometimes 2 jobs, from the time I was 17 to when I was 30 when ds was born. So when I say "job" it has no negative connotations and makes me feel more accountable to myself. I approach homeschooling with a different set of organizational skills and mindset than I do my household tasks. It's what works for me and my family.

[Chris in VA]

It's my ministry.:D

[Excelsior! Academy]

Yes. I am shaping souls for eternity. I may not get paid today, but, I pray my eternal payment will be great.

[nono]

I always say I'm retired and don't have a job. People constantly correct me that being a full-time wife/mother/homeschooler is a job. I truly appreciate their aknowledgement of the amount of time and effort it takes to do those "jobs."

 

It's so not like a real job though, where the people who report to you actually listen and follow instructions. My kids -- not so much! They don't care about their reviews, or if they get me completely insane. In fact, I think my kids like that part a whole lot! :tongue_smilie: It isn't a job. (to steal a slogan) It's an adventure. A crazy, nutty one!

 

However, I do approach my homemaking, homeschooling and general parenting with the same passion and dedication that I did in the professional workplace. It's the only way I know how to operate.

Edited January 14, 2010 by nono

[briansmama]

Yes, I consider homeschooling and raising children my full-time job and I work hard at it.

 

Anything else I do on the side is considered my "hobby" (writing, knitting, reading, etc).

[Jenny in GA]

Well, you probably read my posts on the other thread about it, but no, I DON'T consider homeschooling/parenting/housework my job, and I kinda don't consider it a "job," period.

 

I am a Dr. Laura fan (mostly), but would never introduce myself as "My kid's Mom," especially in a professional context.

 

Years before I had kids (and I was in training to be an aerobics instructor), I was chatting with the instructor after class, and asked if teaching aerobics was her full-time work, or if she had another job as well. "Yeah, I have another job," she told me. "I'm a mom." I remember at the time thinking that sounded like a curious thing to say.

 

I wouldn't consider "homeschooling" a hobby. I think of it as one of many things I do. I cook. I pay the bills. I do laundry. I do free-lance work when I can. I homeschool my kids. Someone else's list would be different, but everyone has a list.

 

I think one of the reasons it bugs me when people call motherhood a "job" is because it sounds like they're trying to validate it: Jobs are the only thing that are important, so in order for motherhood to be important, we must label it a "job."

 

Since I do free-l;ance work, that's what I discuss when people ask about my "job."

 

If I weren't doing free-lance work, I would say that I didn't have a job at the moment (and probably clarify that I was too busy, with three kids.) I would probably mention what I did do before I had the kids.

 

I've noticed that many homeschoolers practically introduce themselves as such, and I've never really done that. I'm not trying to hide it; I just see no reason to bring that up unless there's a specific reason.

 

I'm curious what others will say.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I have a career

 

 

being a parent is my life. homeschooling is an extension of parenting for me, just as any educational option for my children would be.

[TxMama]

Being a wife, mother, and homeschooler is my vocation. It is my God-given purpose.

:iagree:

 

I have a job and it isn't being wife/mom/homeschooler. My family is not my employer. My responsibilities towards my employer are completely different than my responsibilities towards my family.

 

I hope any SAHM that states that being wife/mom/homeschooler is their job doesn't feel the same towards their "employer" and I do to mine!:tongue_smilie:

[mirth]

Yes, it is a job for me. I gave up another job for it. Call it what you want. I also spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to do my job better.

[nukeswife]

This is a hard one to answer.

 

I love what I do, staying at home, teaching my kids, but is it my "Job" I don't know. I guess it depends on who I'm talking to. The one thing I hate is when someone finds out I am a SAHM and a homeschooler and they respond with "Oh so you don't work"

[Sputterduck]

My job right now is to teach my son and go to school. Now that I have a definite major, I have a profession. Does that make any sense? My profession is "computer security" or more informally "white hat hacker". :p

[HRAAB]

Maybe it's just that words mean something different to different people. My job was that of insurance underwriter. It was a job, 8 to 5, got a paycheck, all that. What I do now is not a job; it is my vocation. For me, the differences between the job I use to have and what I do know are huge.

 

If I'm asked what my job is, I say I don't have one, however, I'm a full time mother to my children.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Semantically, "job" can mean anything from a task to a profession. Obviously there are many many tasks related to homeschooling as well as being a SAHM. And just as obviously I don't get a paycheck or have formal performance reviews. But when someone asks me what I "do" - I will say that I teach my kids at home. If they ask me if I am employed, I will say no, but I teach my kids at home. It occupies me, employs all of my skills and tasks my patience!

 

I think what most people mean when they say it is their "job" as such is an attitude of diligence and attentiveness. And I think that attitude is commendable. I don't always have it (and didn't always when I had a pay job either) but I strive to make that a priority.

[kalanamak]

My mother called herself a "domestic engineer" on forms, and had a sign in the kitchen:

 

Quiet, Genius At Work

 

I consider myself a physician first, and mother second. But, I'd been an MD for a full decade before becoming a mother, and give hubby a special place as "the primary parent". He is, at this point, a parent first and a carpenter second. Of note, he had considered himself a family man at a much younger age than I considered myself a family woman. It really didn't cross my mind to have a child until I met him. He was so....mumsy. Not having a child with him would has been like dating Chopin and never hearing him play the piano. It is the center of his life.

[patchfire]

Being a wife and a mother is part of my life. I consider homeschooling a full time job.

 

:iagree:

 

This, exactly.

 

I actually blogged about this several months ago. To me, telling me that homeschooling is not a job feels like my efforts are somewhat belittled, but that's just me. YMMV, as always.

[Stacy in NJ]

Whether I call it my job or my responsibilities - they remain pretty much the same.

[grace'smom]

I consider motherhood a "calling," and homeschooling an extension of that. I just hope I can answer the call as well as I'd hope... Anyway, it feels more like a calling than a job or vocation. It's a pull I can't ignore.

[tricia]

My job is what was given me by God, that of a mother. All the other things are merely an extension of that great calling.

[gardening momma]

The one thing I hate is when someone finds out I am a SAHM and a homeschooler and they respond with "Oh so you don't work"

I would open my eyes wide in shock and say "ha!" like they had just told told a funny joke.

[nukeswife]

I would open my eyes wide in shock and say "ha!" like they had just told told a funny joke.

 

I usually reply with "Want to trade" and then they either clam up or look shocked and respond with "No way", well if I don't work you'd think they'd jump at the chance to do nothing all day:tongue_smilie:

[stripe]

All of these responses are so thoughtful. I never really know what to say when someone asks "what I do" or something -- somehow I feel there is something sort of either insulting OR a deliberate attempt to not be insulting when discussing this issue. I don't know what to put on those forms that ask for your job. I just....draw a blank. I don't want to sound pretentious (domestic engineer, etc) or like I'm in a timewarp (which is how I feel when I say housewife or whatever).

 

I think one of the reasons it bugs me when people call motherhood a "job" is because it sounds like they're trying to validate it: Jobs are the only thing that are important, so in order for motherhood to be important, we must label it a "job."

 

I think this is at the root of my dilemma.

 

I read a great piece by Sandra Tsing Loh in the Atlantic Monthly ("I Choose My Choice!"), which inspired me to read one of the books she discusses, A Mother's Work: How Feminism, the Market, and Policy Shape Family Life by Neil Gilbert. I so enjoyed reading the book and the article. The point that something is considered a "real" job when one is being paid to do something for some unrelated person, but is not one when one does it for a relative (e.g. tending to someone's toileting needs), really was an insightful one, I thought. Well, that and all the business of jobs being so fabulous, which assumes that you have an interesting and dynamic job. (As Sandra Tsing Loh says, like Oprah's!) However non-glamorous it is, I too love the freedom of directing my own time and activities.

[Impish]

It's my ministry.:D

Love this!

Educating my child is my job. Being a Mama and a partner to my husband are my gifts from God.

And this!

 

And to anyone that attempts to claim that being a SAHM (let alone a homeschooling one!) isn't a 'job', I offer this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1TTXdsCtvw

 

:lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

When my kids were tiny I would write in "baby slave" on forms which asked for occupation. :tongue_smilie:

 

Now, when people ask if I have a job I say "no, I homeschool my kids."

 

I don't consider motherhood a job because I can't just up and quit. :D

[bethben]

I have a physical therapist for my son that constantly comments on how she can't imagine me working outside of the home because I would go nuts. My kids take my time full time - even if they were in school, there are just so many extras that two of them especially need, I wouldn't be able to work outside the home anyway.

 

I had a friend say this to someone at a party - the woman she was talking to asked her if she worked her reply:

" I don't have a job, but I volunteer. I volunteer about 80 hours a week into these three kids I know."

Now, the woman was starting to get impressed until she said, "Really, I'm just a mom."

 

Funny how volunteering 80 hours a week into someone elses kids can be sacrificial or even admireable, but doing the same with your own kids is just an "Oh..."

 

Beth

[Tutor]

I have three full-time jobs: homeschooling, writing, and day care. If I don't look at homeschooling as a job, I don't give it the type of focus it requires.

 

I see motherhood and marriage as work also, but I don't really see them as a "job" in the same sense as I see the previous roles I mentioned. The outlook and implementation are different... I guess you could say I look at them more as ministry than a job, but those distinctions are only in my own mind and simply to help keep me motivated in how to approach each facet of my life. :001_smile:

[sunshine]

The one thing I hate is when someone finds out I am a SAHM and a homeschooler and they respond with "Oh so you don't work"

 

 

that is my cue to bust out laughing hysterically in their face!!:lol:

[Daisy]

I'm not trying to belittle or elevate anyone when I say that homeschooling and parenting are jobs. I'm trying to say that they are my personal responsibilities. I use the word job with my kids. "Hey, it is your JOB to keep your room clean."

 

A job doesn't have to be a bad thing. It means it is important enough to me that I'm going to prioritize it. I'm not going to let someone distract me from it. I'm not going to give excuses for why I can't get it done. I'm not going to let my emotions interfere with my completion of it. In other words I'm going to act like a professional even if I'm still engaged in on-the-job training.

 

I'm going to plan. I'm going to be intentional. I'm going to evaluate. I'm going to get training or whatever other support I need to accomplish my job.

 

Does that mean I automatically hate what I'm doing because it is a job. NO! I think it is the best job in the world. I didn't realize the term had so many negative connotations. I value hard work and duty and responsibility and I love my job.

Edited January 15, 2010 by Daisy

[Mama Lynx]

So what do you consider your job to be? What about those who don't have a paying job? Is motherhood a job? (Do you identify with Dr Laura, for saying she is her kid's mom?) Is being a homeschooling parent your job? A side gig? A hobby? Something else?

 

Let's discuss! I am always looking for wisdom in this area.

 

I used to be one of those who absolutely bristled at the idea that homeschooling might be my "job."

 

But now, yes, absolutely: homeschooling is my full-time job. Running the house is also my job. Being a wife and mother is just life.

 

I'm not certain when I came to the realization that yes, homeschooling is my job and no, "job" is not a dirty word. I'm sure it has something to do with the kids getting older, and the changing nature of their studies. I've been working part-time, as well, and that has allowed me to see the necessity of protecting our homeschooling time.

 

When they were younger, "school" was just part of our daily life. But as they are nearing high school ... well, yes, it is my job to protect their study time, to guide their studies, and to ensure that I have done whatever is possible for me to do to give them the best opportunities for college or adult work.

 

And since I stink at managing the house, it's a good thing I'm good at the homeschooling job ;-)

[Jenny in GA]

All of these responses are so thoughtful. I never really know what to say when someone asks "what I do" or something -- somehow I feel there is something sort of either insulting OR a deliberate attempt to not be insulting when discussing this issue. I don't know what to put on those forms that ask for your job. I just....draw a blank. I don't want to sound pretentious (domestic engineer, etc) or like I'm in a timewarp (which is how I feel when I say housewife or whatever).

 

 

 

I unfortunately have to go to various doctors a lot, and they're always asking your occupation on the form. Why in the world are they asking that? Are they just getting to know me? (They don't ask my hobbies.)

 

Are they going to give me a different exam if I'm engineer than If I'm a plumber or teacher? What is up with that?

 

Part of my own problem, is that my career is as a musician, and people don't consider that a job.

[Jenny in GA]

Hey ... does anyone remember those Calvin and Hobbes cartoons when Calvin would give his father reports on how his ratings as "Dad" were slipping?

 

And once the dad replied, "I take comfort in the fact that nobody else would want the job."

 

:001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

Full-Time Wife and Mother

 

That's what I write for 'occupation.' :001_smile:

 

ETA: To me, homeschooling is one aspect of the Mother role.

Edited January 15, 2010 by angela in ohio

[Audrey]

So what do you consider your job to be? What about those who don't have a paying job? Is motherhood a job? (Do you identify with Dr Laura, for saying she is her kid's mom?) Is being a homeschooling parent your job? A side gig? A hobby? Something else?

 

Let's discuss! I am always looking for wisdom in this area.

 

 

I have many jobs, aside from the ones for which I collect a cheque. I don't have a problem with referring to being a wife, mother, teacher and farmer as jobs. I feel that by referring to them as job, it only amplifies the importance of them and their priority status in my life. To me, calling them jobs means I take it seriously and work hard at it. I may not get paid money for being a wife, teacher & mother, but I do get paid in satisfaction.

[Crimson Wife]

When my DD was a toddler and DH was in grad school, I was employed full-time at a paid position. I always felt that I was a mom first and foremost, and an employee of ____ Corporation second. That's what I think Dr. Laura is getting at by her "I am my kid's mom" thing. Jobs come and go but family is forever (or at least it should be IMHO).

 

I consider being a home educator my profession/occupation and being a wife & mom my vocation. If circumstances were to change, I might have to put the kids into traditional school and return to full-time employment. But I'd still be their mom.

[TracyP]

I struggled with being out of the workforce when my first child was born even though I always wanted to be a SAHM. Realizing that homemaker/mother and now teacher is my job was a huge turning point. Job is not a dirty word to me. The pay stinks but...... it is my job and I take great pride in it.:001_smile:

[I talk to the trees]

 

I consider being a home educator my profession/occupation and being a wife & mom my vocation. If circumstances were to change, I might have to put the kids into traditional school and return to full-time employment. But I'd still be their mom.

 

Ya' beat me to it! A job is an activity that brings in a paycheck. A vocation is a calling, an activity that you are perfectly suited for. I am trained to be a musician. That's my job. My vocation is the education of my child (and I enjoy teaching flute as well.) I believe that those whose job and vocation are one in the same are blessed indeed!

 

-Robin

[KidsHappen]

Yes and when my children complain, I tell them I just doing my job. :D

Edited January 15, 2010 by KidsHappen

[Parrothead]

What I do love about this thread is that I cannot have this conversation on any other message board without people jumping all over the whole "SAH vs WM" debate or getting down on me because I stay home.

Why does one always have to be better than the other? They are simply different.

 

I don't think of being a wife, SAHM, homeschool CEO as my job. I don't have a job. Being a wife isn't a job any more than being a man being a husband is. How many men answer the what do you do question with "I'm a husband."

 

Yes, I've given birth and I have a child. My husband also has a child. When he answers that question he doesn't answer with "I'm a dad."

 

So to me wife and mother are more a part/state of life instead of what I do.

 

Now, what I do is work for a small non-profit institution as CFO, event planner/ coordinator, and educational facilitator. I'm also head of sanitary engineering and grounds keeping.

[CindyPTN]

Seeing all the different ideas of what "job" means/is or stands for, I realized that I needed to check out the definition. So from Merriam-Webster:

_____________________________________________________________

Main Entry: 1job

Pronunciation: \ˈjäb\

Function: noun

Etymology: perhaps from obsolete English job lump

Date: circa 1627

1 a : a piece of work; especially : a small miscellaneous piece of work undertaken on order at a stated rate b : the object or material on which work is being done c : something produced by or as if by work <did a nice job> d : an example of a usually specified type : item <the limousine was a long white job>

2 a : something done for private advantage <the whole incident was a put-up job> b : a criminal enterprise; specifically : robbery c : a damaging or destructive bit of work <did a job on him>

3 a (1) : something that has to be done : task (2) : an undertaking requiring unusual exertion <it was a real job to talk over that noise> b : a specific duty, role, or function c : a regular remunerative position d chiefly British : state of affairs —usually used with bad or good <it was a good job you didn't hit the old man — E. L. Thomas>

4 : plastic surgery for cosmetic purposes <a nose job>

__________________________________________________________________________________

:auto:So with all these definitions in mind, I can safely say,

 

"1a. I am definitely one piece of work! b. Work is always being constructed on me (enrichment, being taught by a 4 and 5 year old, workouts,etc). d. Never heard of this form of job..can't compare.

2a. Raising my children is our family's private advantage. People have no idea what they're missing out on. It's work, but satisfying and a blessing. b. No criminal jobs here unless battling Star Wars Troopers against unsuspecting Dolls in the Dollhouse would be considered a punishable offense. c. Hopefully, I'm not commiting any damaging or destructive work on our children, my husband, or self. Although the negative self talk can get in the way sometimes.

3a (1): Something always has to be done: dishes, laundry, guidance, etc. b. ****WIFE, MOTHER, INFORMED CITIZEN, FRIEND, HOUSEKEEPER (all that jazz that goes with homemaking)*** d. THE POSEY HOUSE STATE OF AFFAIRS!!!! 4. No intention of plastic surgery

 

Yep, Life is a job. I name it all. I recently read Proverbs 31 and I was shocked. I hadn't looked at it in ages and the description of a Woman and all she "is" still has me pondering "HOW???"

[ElizabethB]

I often tell people I was "promoted to Mom" (I used to work in the Air Force.) Military spouses often get a kick out of this, nudge their husbands and say, "See, I told you I outranked you."

[asta]

I held check-receiving employment my entire life up until I started homeschooling. I still have a tiny side gig, but the $$ is so small, I don't count it as money. I never really thought of being a SAHM as a "profession" or "job" (officially) until this past summer when the following happened:

 

My MIL died one week, and my BIL was diagnosed with cancer the next week. My sister couldn't get daycare and couldn't bring the baby to the hospital with her (for obvious reasons).

 

So... I'm in the midst of post funeral "clean out the house effects" stuff and I get a phone call: "you need to fly to your sister's house and take care of the baby."

 

Wha......?

 

"You're the only one in the family without a job who has nothing going on in their life, so you are the logical person to do this."

 

I. Lost. It.

 

I explained that I was getting on a plane in 3 days to return home (8000 miles away) to start teaching 10th grade BY MYSELF, had a household to run, and several other responsibilities. And, BTW, had no one noticed that sister #2 had been unemployed (with her two DC in private school) for TWO YEARS???!!!!

 

Since then, I have referred to my self as a High School Teacher. And no one bothers me any longer.

 

Good for me.

 

 

a

 

 

(my sister w/o the daycare didn't WANT anyone to come, BTW, she hates having people underfoot - I'm the only one who understood that - her friends stepped up and took care of the baby)

[Peela]

I think I just dont like the question at all. It's only something I would answer in the affirmative if I was feeling defensive, actually. Our society doesnt value parenting as much as it should. In reality, its not my "job", its just the main thing I do at this point in my life, and it doesnt really leave me much time for anything else. I do have a part time cooking job.

Homeschooling is not my "job" but then neither is it not my job. Our society is all too hung up on the concept of being "useful" and earning a living and having an identity. We feel people who don't have a good, solid label are a little insipid, harder to relate to, a bit "less than" someone with a good label like "nurse", "business owner", "executive".

 

I feel very blessed to not have to work full time, and to be able to afford to and have the inclination to homeschool my kids. Its my life, but I only call it my job when I am trying to justify it, which already puts me on my back foot, defending my choice- usually, anyway.

[stripe]

Yes and when my children complain, I tell them I just doing my job. :D

That's funny; when I tell my kids that it is my job as their mother to take care of them, their eyes tend to get very large and they look impressed. Ha. I think in that case I am using "job" as a synonym for "responsibility."

 

Now Parrothead, when you say:

I don't think of being a wife, SAHM, homeschool CEO as my job. I don't have a job.

I would rather say my job is being a mother than a wife, because I feel like my kids require more "work" than my husband does (obviously not true for every wife). I think there is something lacking here, though. And if one doesn't want to say one's house/kids constitute her job, then what does she say? I don't like saying I'm "unemployed," for example, and "retired" suggests a) I'm old and b) I'll never get paid for my work again. (I am not even sure I'd say my grandma, who, once married, stopped working, is "retired," since it suggests some change from a full-time career, which in her case was being a housewife; aside from now living alone, she still does most of the same household duties she used to. When does one retire from housework??)

 

I guess some people want to ward off the feeling that they don't do anything all day long. Of course, we all know that is foolish and uninformed thinking. However, I think to say that you devote your time to your house and your kids, and more particularly to your kids' education, that gives someone a sense of what you're doing all day long. I'm not sure why anyone is entitled to know that, but there we are!

 

Jenny in GA said

I unfortunately have to go to various doctors a lot, and they're always asking your occupation on the form. Why in the world are they asking that? Are they just getting to know me? (They don't ask my hobbies.)

Good point. Why do they ask that? Is it to make a judgment about you (smart, dumb, dirty, clean, capable of discussing healthcare intelligently or not)? This question appears on my kids' doctors' informational forms too and on many others that I don't really get.

 

I think there is definitely a cultural component to this. In some cultures, asking a new acquaintance what they "do" is considered rather odd. But I do think Americans get a great deal of their own identity from their jobs. I guess there is also an assumption that someone picks a job and stays with it. (No use pigeon-holing someone as a maid when next month she's a substitute teacher, then a waitress, then an extra in a movie. Then maybe she becomes "variously employed" and "unsettled.")

[Jenny in GA]

I just had another, slightly different thought about this whole "parent/homemaker as job" thing ...

 

I will say up front that this probably is less likely to be true (maybe?) if your kids are homeschooled. (Feel free to give me feedback on that! :001_smile:)

 

My mother was/is the epitome of a "professional housewife." She never went to college. She got pregant and left her paying job just a few months after getting married. For the next several decades, the only paid work she did was two non-consecutive years of part-time work: once when her youngest child was sixteen, and once when both her kids were grown and gone.

 

Being a homemaker/mother was her job.

 

But ... the problem was that it was her job.

 

I have no memory of my father doing any kind of housework, not even helping clear the dinner dishes after we ate. My mother was still doing all our laundry when we were teenagers. I doubt my father has any idea how to do laundry. I don't think I ever vacuumed, cleaned a toilet, or mopped a floor before I went to college. I don't remember my brother doing any of those things either.

 

Now if it sounds like I'm just a spoiled, lazy brat, keep in mind that my brother and I also never went to my father's office and helped him write computer software.

 

Going to the office was my father's job.

Going to my school was our job.

Being a homemaker was my mother's job.

 

Just like my mother never went to my father's office, and my parents never did my algebra homework for me ... well, it never occurred to me to grab a vacuum. For one thing, the house was never dirty. :laugh: For another, it would have seemed out of place ... like going to someone else's house and digging around the closet to pull out their vacuum.

 

So I guess I see two potential (not definite)problems with considering motherhood/homemaking "your job":

 

1) If it's your job, then everyone is going to expect you -- and only you -- to do it.

 

2) If it's your job, and you expect -- and like -- it to be your job, then ... well, of course you're going to spend your days doing it. And that will really rob your children when leave home and realize they have no idea how to laundry, and have never mopped a floor.

 

I know this is a little different spin from the original thought of "Is homeschooling your job?" but I thought I'd throw it in as well for more to discuss. :laugh:

[prim*rose]

:iagree:

[Jenny in GA]

I think there is definitely a cultural component to this. In some cultures, asking a new acquaintance what they "do" is considered rather odd. But I do think Americans get a great deal of their own identity from their jobs. I guess there is also an assumption that someone picks a job and stays with it. (No use pigeon-holing someone as a maid when next month she's a substitute teacher, then a waitress, then an extra in a movie. Then maybe she becomes "variously employed" and "unsettled.")

 

 

Lately when I meet people and am getting to know them, I'll ask, "So what do you do when you're not here?"

 

That way, they discuss a paid job, their kids, their hobbies, whatever.

[Haiku]

Is motherhood a job? (Do you identify with Dr Laura, for saying she is her kid's mom?) Is being a homeschooling parent your job? A side gig? A hobby? Something else?

 

 

Motherhood and homeschooling are not my jobs. They are a part of my lifestyle. Someone in the other thread made the comment that it would be silly if someone asked her husband what his job is and he started talking about mowing the lawn. I feel the same way about being a mother and a homeschooler. Just because I do it doesn't mean it's a job. It's just what I do.

 

I think the whole "mother as job" movement stems from not wanting to be looked down upon by employed women. If mothering is a job, too, then not only do we have a harder job, we also put in more hours, so we should get more cred. It's just an extension of the mommy wars.

 

Tara