BettyL Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I met my local elementary principal in the grocery store today. He said, "Hey, I've been meaning to do this all year, but I'd like to come and visit your school one day. I will call when I can come." :confused: As background....I worked as a para in the school district last year and this man periodically attends the church my husband pastors. My daughter attended this public school until last year, but we are homeschooling now and we plan to do so for an indefinite period of time. He is a nice man, but why would he want to visit my school? :001_unsure: Our school district is going through drastic $ cuts this year, and I am wondering if he wants to get more kids back in school for the money they receive from state funding. I live in a state that has no specific standards for homeschooling. I hate to be skeptical, becuase he is somewhat of a friend. I'm hoping that The Hive will a wealth of advice and experience regarding this situation. Should I allow him to stop by and see what we're doing or not????? Thank you in advance for your help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Personally, I would always be unavailable. And, I would call other homeschoolers to see if he is making visits to them as well. I feel he is probably just curious, but why tempt fate?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 (edited) I would talk to him more about his interest. If he wants to judge your school because he deems himself its supervisor, then no, don't let him come visit. If he's just interested to see how it works, sure, let him come over. I have schoolteaching friends who are very curious about what we do, and they are very respectful, and I'd have no problem letting one of them visit for a day. Edited December 10, 2009 by dragons in the flower bed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I would want to know if he wants to visit in his capacity as principal or in his capacity as friend/acquaintance who knows you from church and as a former co-worker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Is it possible the he's curious about homeschooling? I don't think it's something that's mentioned a lot when pursuing a degree in education. The fact that you worked with him and your daughter attended last year, then this year you both leave, opting for home education makes me wonder if he's wanting to pick your brain a little about why people leave and how he can improve. Of course, if he has no oversight authority, you can always refuse his request. But it sounds like there could be more to the visit than looking at your school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I'd be gently but directly honest. I would ask him why the sudden interest. I would tell him that given the uneasy relationship between most school administrators and homeschoolers that I felt a bit uncomfortable about the visit. And I would make it clear that my discomfort was due to the potential for future trouble, not any academic issues or illegalities that you felt you had to hide. I would ask point blank if his interest had anything to do with the school's budget woes. If this man is a decent sort, and if he has valid questions, then I would agree to meet with him on neutral ground to answer them. Perhaps at a meeting room at your library. It is possible that he may be considering homeschooling for his family or someone else close to him and wants to see how it can be done well. Or he may be fishing for ideas of what he can offer through his school to entice parents to keep their children enrolled. But for me, the bottom line is that I would tell him that with only your children as students, your schooling environment does not lend itself to having an unobtrusive observer as is possible in public school classes. And if you're not "in session", then there's nothing much to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I'd ask him what his motives and intentions are for such a visit. I'd further explain to him that visitors during the school day are distracting for your dc and that you're not available for visits until after 3pm (or whenever you're finished for the day). Take the control from him, because it sounds like he really has no control over your school legally and he doesn't deserve the right to make you think he might. If he's just curious about homeschooling, then have him and his family over for dinner and tell him how it works. I'd not accept someone coming to my home to observe my home school when they have no right for such observations. But, then, I trust no one. Especially when they're using the "hey, we're friends" card when in reality, they're nothing more than acquaintances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 As background....I worked as a para in the school district last year and this man periodically attends the church my husband pastors. My daughter attended this public school until last year, but we are homeschooling now and we plan to do so for an indefinite period of time. He is a nice man, but why would he want to visit my school? :001_unsure: If he is genuinely curious about homeschooling, I'd have my dh invite his family over for coffee and dessert one evening, and he can look at your school books and teaching aids you have. I would not, regardless of his intentions, let him sit in on you teaching your dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 but I wouldn't have him over. I'd put an end to the possibility as well, so it was not hanging over my head. YMMV, but I can see myself in your shoes 8 years ago, calling him up and saying, "Bill, you mentioned coming over to see our school, but I want you to know that I've thought about it and I'm not comfortable with having you visit at this time. We are not "doing school," per se, we're approaching the kids' education as a lifestyle of learning, in fact we call it our family learning project (I borrowed that from MMV) . There's really not much to see that would look like anything you'd recognize, so, for now I'd like to take a rain check. If you continue to be interested, let me know come summer, and we can go grab a cup of coffee so I can answer your questions, or I can bring in some of the projects we've worked on and let the kids tell you about them." But that would have been my take. I'm not fond of intrusions during the school day, much less being under someone's watchful eye when I have no idea what they really want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If he is genuinely curious about homeschooling, I'd have my dh invite his family over for coffee and dessert one evening, and he can look at your school books and teaching aids you have. I would not, regardless of his intentions, let him sit in on you teaching your dc. :iagree: I would take advantage of the opportunity to educate him on homeschooling, but I wouldn't want him to observe our school day. This is great way to handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I'm with the others-would not allow it. How about saying something to the effect of having a policy of not allowing distractions during your school day, whether it be phone, visitors, etc. That puts an end to him coming, while sending the message that you take your teaching seriously. You could offer to meet him with your dh for coffee, if he's truly interested in hearing how hs'ing works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 :iagree: I would take advantage of the opportunity to educate him on homeschooling, but I wouldn't want him to observe our school day. This is great way to handle it. :iagree: I think it's a strange request and I'd just ask him why he wants to observe. (I tend to be direct like that). And if someone comes over during 'school', they're going to have to participate, not sit and watch. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Honestly? Regardless of motive I don't like his presumptive attitude. You don't work for him and he has no right to expect that it's okay for him to invite himself to your home for any reason. It just struck me as rude and that would not endear me towards having him over. Now if he had been more upfront with his reasoning and then more polite with asking instead of presume/demanding, then I would only at best do as a pp suggested and invite him for coffee and dessert and conversation, but not let him interrupt or intrude on our actual schooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Maybe he is simply curious. Unless you're feeling particularly vulnerable, I'd invite him over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needleroozer Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If he is genuinely curious about homeschooling, I'd have my dh invite his family over for coffee and dessert one evening, and he can look at your school books and teaching aids you have. I would not, regardless of his intentions, let him sit in on you teaching your dc. :iagree::iagree: Yep. That's how I would handle it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I met my local elementary principal in the grocery store today. He said, "Hey, I've been meaning to do this all year, but I'd like to come and visit your school one day. I will call when I can come." :confused: As background....I worked as a para in the school district last year and this man periodically attends the church my husband pastors. My daughter attended this public school until last year, but we are homeschooling now and we plan to do so for an indefinite period of time. He is a nice man, but why would he want to visit my school? :001_unsure: Our school district is going through drastic $ cuts this year, and I am wondering if he wants to get more kids back in school for the money they receive from state funding. I live in a state that has no specific standards for homeschooling. I hate to be skeptical, becuase he is somewhat of a friend. I'm hoping that The Hive will a wealth of advice and experience regarding this situation. Should I allow him to stop by and see what we're doing or not????? Thank you in advance for your help! Hmm... I would just say no. I'm of the opinion that, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, inviting school authorities of any kind into your home is opening the door to potential problems and struggles. I might, if I thought he were sincere, offer to sit down and talk with him personally, one-to-one, but NOT in my home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 But for me, the bottom line is that I would tell him that with only your children as students, your schooling environment does not lend itself to having an unobtrusive observer as is possible in public school classes. And if you're not "in session", then there's nothing much to see. :iagree: If he is genuinely curious about homeschooling, I'd have my dh invite his family over for coffee and dessert one evening, and he can look at your school books and teaching aids you have. I would not, regardless of his intentions, let him sit in on you teaching your dc. :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysparkler Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If he is genuinely curious about homeschooling, I'd have my dh invite his family over for coffee and dessert one evening, and he can look at your school books and teaching aids you have. I would not, regardless of his intentions, let him sit in on you teaching your dc. I think that is a great idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Imo, he is being disrespectful and rude. He isn't even asking for an invitation or permission to stop by, it's more of an authoritative command. I'd simply say no, we don't have visitors during school hours. I met my local elementary principal in the grocery store today. He said, "Hey, I've been meaning to do this all year, but I'd like to come and visit your school one day. I will call when I can come." :confused: As background....I worked as a para in the school district last year and this man periodically attends the church my husband pastors. My daughter attended this public school until last year, but we are homeschooling now and we plan to do so for an indefinite period of time. He is a nice man, but why would he want to visit my school? :001_unsure: Our school district is going through drastic $ cuts this year, and I am wondering if he wants to get more kids back in school for the money they receive from state funding. I live in a state that has no specific standards for homeschooling. I hate to be skeptical, becuase he is somewhat of a friend. I'm hoping that The Hive will a wealth of advice and experience regarding this situation. Should I allow him to stop by and see what we're doing or not????? Thank you in advance for your help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I personally think it is borrowing trouble especially with him in a principal position. Maybe a friendly teacher that I knew wanting to pick my brain wouldn't register on the radar as much, but a principal that just casually throws out that he has been meaning to come by like it is his right makes me very leery. I wouldn't bring it up or call him up. If he brought it up again, then I would ask why? I would definitely put him on the spot the way he did you by asking him his intentions. Whether his intentions are reasonable or not I would tell him that I didn't feel comfortable given his current position in the school system and that the current homeschooling laws are in your favor given his current position in the school system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I would probably pass on letting him come over as well, unless your state law requires it. If the law is vaguely worded to the point that a visit could possibly be construed as required (ie. "local principal will oversee homeschool" without saying how it will be overseen), talk with your state's homeschool organization to see what your options are. If it were me and I thought the principal was just interested in how homeschooling works, I would offer to meet with him (at his office, maybe) and bring my curriculum for him to see. I live in a homeschooling friendly place, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I met my local elementary principal in the grocery store today. He said, "Hey, I've been meaning to do this all year, but I'd like to come and visit your school one day. I will call when I can come." :confused: Did this come off as presumptuous as it sounds to me? He didn't say, "Would you mind if I come by and visit," or "When would be convenient for you?" It was more like, "I'm coming by and I'll let you know when it suits me." I would try to find out exactly what he meant first. Maybe he's just a quirky communicator, or maybe he is misinformed as to where his rights and responsibilities lie as regards homeschoolers. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 (edited) Should I allow him to stop by and see what we're doing or not????? Only you can answer this question, based on what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't do it, simply because I don't want anyone drawing any type of conclusions about homeschooling based on what they observe at my house. Were it me, I would tell the person, "I appreciate your interest, but I think it would be distracting to my kids to have visitors to our homeschool. I'd be happy to discuss things with you over coffee at the local coffee shop, however." Tara Edited December 10, 2009 by TaraTheLiberator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If this man is not your personal friend, he has no business "dropping in." You're busy teaching. Tell him so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdeveson Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I would talk to him more about his interest. If he wants to judge your school because he deems himself its supervisor, then no, don't let him come visit. I disagree. If he's coming in to snoop around, the last thing he's going to do is tell you he's snooping. He's not your friend. You do not have to entertain him. If he's curious, he should buy a book on homeschooling. I feel strongly about strangers inviting themselves to my home to see how we're doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I'd tell him absolutely not. And I'd tell him it was because letting him visit opens the door to inteference for you and your school. You can smile when you say it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Sounds odd to me. I'd ask him why he wants to visit. Then decide what to do from there. If he's just interested in hsing, I'd have a list of recommended books for him to read. Once he's read them and still wants to talk to you, meet somewhere and talk. If he's wondering what makes people leave schools to homeschool, then you can meet somewhere and talk about it, if you want to. Or you could say, "I only know for my family, not for everyone else." If he thinks he's supposed to check up on you, I'd tell him no thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Maybe you could invite him to dinner? It almost sounds like he's trying to be friendly, in which case, dinner makes much more sense. Also, you'll have dh there ;) I might also explain that during school hours, we're much to busy to entertain guests, something I'd think he would already understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tullia Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 (edited) My guess is that he is trying to get more money...er...students for his school. ITA with the folks who suggested that you say some version of visitors=distractions; therefore, no visitors...no exceptions :D:D:D, and smile some more! If you are so inclined, maybe you and your husband could meet with him, preferably somewhere other than your place, to give you a better sense of where he's coming from before you have him in your home. He's already been rude, and there's nothing more annoying (to me anyhow) than letting someone like that across my doorstep. I'd do my best to make any visit a simple, friendly, general social occasion not just about school, and under no circumstances would I discuss any specifics of YOUR school. I've found that there's not a lot about institutional schools that translates well into a home setting, so there's not likely to be anything he's qualified to "help" you with. Even though he may well think that you and your children need the expertise and resources, you are under no obligation to accept his interference...or perhaps I should say his help... beyond whatever role (if any) assigned to him by your state's law. The biggest headaches we had as a hs family came from well-meaning fellow church members who were employed in the ps system. Some of them could not fathom why we weren't eager to take advantage of the wonderful opportunities available at ________school. I didn't blame them for being proud of their work, and tried to always be polite and appreciative of their work. However, I didn't hesitate to turn the conversation when they invaded my comfort zone. Martha PS Several years ago there was a formal effort in our school district to try to get hs'ers back into the ps due to declining enrollments hurting the budget. They sponsored a public meeting which drew a handful of families, and led to only one family returning to ps. The school administrators did not really understand that some people actually enjoy hs'ing for its own sake, and were astonished that folks weren't begging for their services. Their main question was "What could we do to convince you to return?" My guess is this man wants to know why he's lost a good student and an involved family. IMO, you're entitled to say "We love hs'ing; it's right choice for us...nice weather we're having for this time of year isn't it?" Edited December 10, 2009 by Martha in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I've had friends who were educators who really wanted to see what we do or what materials we use and it's always genuine curiousity and enthusiasm. I'd likely invite him but not for a real school day. I can't see how it would work with him there. But I wouldn't hesitate to invite him over to look at some things the kids have done and see the curriculum if he's interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 (edited) "Hey, I've been meaning to do this all year, but I'd like to come and visit your school one day. I will call when I can come." No matter how I look at this, it does not sound social. He wants to visit your school. Now to me, that sounds like an official visit. There are a number of states where "visits" are required, documented and the school district gets $$$ for them. Edited December 10, 2009 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 No way. It all sounds a little fishy to me. I mean, seriously, if someone came to sit in on a school day, my DD wouldn't do a bit of work. She would be way too distracted. Not to mention, our school day is not always "normal." She'll do school for 20 minutes, then I'll allow her to go play with her sister. Then I'll have her come back and do 20 more mintues, and so forth. Frankly, I'd be a little hestitant (okay, a lot hesitant) to have him come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Um, NO! It wouldn't happen, period! Don't care if he is a decon in my church and we are good friends with his wife.....not happening for any sort of "observation" or "discussion" of homeschooling. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If he is genuinely curious about homeschooling, I'd have my dh invite his family over for coffee and dessert one evening, and he can look at your school books and teaching aids you have. I would not, regardless of his intentions, let him sit in on you teaching your dc. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Under no circumstances would I allow a public school official to visit my home to observe, not unless the law specifically allowed it, and Kansas law does not. No sirree bob. Nor would I allow him to look through any of my teaching materials, nor talk with my dc. Nope, nope, nope. Just say no. You can ask him why he wants to, but the answer would still be no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 If you distrust his intentions in any way, and feel in any way you are being intruded upon, I would turn him down. (not that he really ever asked. "I'll call when I can come" indeed.) I would turn down any man who invited himself into my house under the guise or pretense of anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I am in Kansas, I would not permit him access during school. I would just state that it would be disruptive and you be happy to show him some materials. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 (edited) I have a close friend who is a principal and I wouldn't allow him over during the school day. It just crosses a line, in my opinion. Now, if he wanted to come by sometime (outside of school hours) and, just out of curiosity, see how it works and what we use, that would be okay. But again, he's a close friend that I've known since he was a goofy college student. :) In your situation, I think I'd just politely say "no, thank you" and leave it at that. Edited December 11, 2009 by Rhonda in TX clairification Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Unless legally mandated, my answer would be "Hell no!" His assumption that you will be available for him rubs me wrong. He's treating you as an employee. Check, ensure that a visit of this nature isn't mandatory for hsing, and then tell him NO. For me, I have a facilitator that comes out twice a year. That is mandatory here. If it wasn't, there's no way I'd allow anyone in to 'inspect' my homeschooling my children! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BettyL Posted December 11, 2009 Author Share Posted December 11, 2009 (edited) Thank you for all of your thoughtful insights. Since posting my original thread I have contacted another hs mom in our town and the principal has not approached her about visiting. She did tell me though that when she removed her children from school he was kind but strongly opposed to hs. He shared experiences of disaster and was quite negative. Therefore, I do not think he's interested or curious. I believe he is clearly and strongly opposed to hs. I do keep wondering if he's trying to get us to return to school because my dh is a "person of influence." I know that sometimes pastors, business owners and community leaders are pursued because they are thought to influence others. So, if he can convince us to come back then others will follow. I will not be returning my dd to the public system! I saw too much last year! Almost half of my daughter's class tested for special services and the school has now chosen to not employ a reading teacher to help these children. So, the poor teacher has to figure out how to help half of her class that is way below reading level while trying to challenge the rest. It was just not working for us. On a brighter note, my dd is thriving and we are loving the hs life. Maybe this is what I should share with the principal. :lol: I think I like the idea of inviting he and his wife over for desert. Because they attend our church (on a very sporadic basis) we do feel a responsiblity toward them. My dh is very good at knowing what to say when. He'll take the lead, I'll smile a lot and serve an awesome dessert! :D However, we have decided to not allow a visit during school time. Thank you so much for your input! It is greatly appreciated! Edited December 11, 2009 by BettyL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I would also worry that even if you invite him over (even unofficially as a friend), he will use it as an excuse or get the idea that crashing homeschools and evaluating them is an OK thing, which it is not. The way he invited himself and just assumed you would be fine with it suggests to me that he might decide to steamroll other homeschoolers too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I'm glad you sought out additional information to help your decision. It seems to be a wise one, given the scenerio. My SIL is a vice-principle and was very much against homeschooling. She was not happy with our decision, but did mind her own business. Between normal family activities and a few natural disasters that had her spending multiple nights at our home, she's seen a lot of our homeschooling at work. She confided in me not too long ago that she was so concerned because the kids entering her school after being homeschooled were not in a good educational place and she was glad to know that wasn't every case. I politely pointed out that the vast majority enter the school system because, for whatever reason, homeschooling isn't working. The fact that she's seeing them is a good thing; the parents recognize that it's not for them and are working to rectify the situation and should be acknowledged for making a tough decision. Opening their kids up to scrutiny of their prior education is a hard thing to do when you are the source of that education. My thought is to honestly answer his questions, especially if you are not in a state that requires visits. He may simply be seeking information about the draw of some people to homeschooling. And he may be attempting to open his mind to it. The fact that he hasn't contacted this other woman also makes me think this could be the case. He has an acquaintenance with you outside of school and can pull from that as a friend. I still say don't let him get involved in any way with your school. Keep it friendly, not professional! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Perhaps he feels like he can finally see what a homeschool day is like. If I knew a local principal, I'd love for him to come by. Actually, I do know one, but we haven't seen each other in years. When I was in college, he always told me to come see him when I got certified so he could set me up with a job. He also thinks homeschooling is great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.