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LarlaB

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  1. You are not alone. I have “only” been here 10 years and this thread is the last straw for me. It really is. I came here today specifically predicting and expecting some of the comments on this thread by the usual suspects (although we are missing a few) and I find myself just done. It’s so predictable it’s funny. And sad. For me- it’s uninspired, predictable and hardly educated or well trained in any way. In response to not saying things well or tone or whatever..... listen If we have to word everything perfectly to post here or risk members shredding us apart (Which happens, always), well frankly that is not the kind of training or education I am looking for. If that it the “standard” of a online message board, I don’t want anything of what you guys are selling or allowing anymore. What good is education or knowledge if you act like an a##hole? There has been the sanctimonious disconnect here for several years and it’s getting worse, so I’m done. The slow creep of disrespectful behavior and “non political talk” is gross, obvious, tolerated and not a “community” that I want to be part of or associated with at all. There is no discourse. No one is listening to anyone anymore. It’s gross. I have appreciated the help, advice and input during my time here. Trully.
  2. I have an obscene amount of USPS non or mis delivery stories I could tell. I’m also in CO so maybe Denver has more issues?!?! It is a ongoing point of stress at times because I spend so much time making notes for the mailman, redelivering, calling customer service, insurance issues etc Last month some medication was almost here then suddenly headed to West Palm Beach, FL where it was circling around for days. DAYS. I gave up and called the company. We have chronic misdelivery issues here. At least 1x a month. Last week a small package with glasses were mis delivered to my box (although the destination was within 2 miles of my house- so I was impressed). Our last name and zip code were the same. I put a note on it for the postman. He never took it back but kept shoving more mail in our box. So I took to the post office myself so they could try again. This has happened more times than I can count. We do not have issues with UPS, FEDEX or Amazon. Occasional but nowhere close to USPS.
  3. I have been in this situation... IMHO at the heart of the matter is that they want to talk it out, be heard, supported and feel as though they have many options. If you can keep doing that great. It’s hard but once you realize they are t going to listen to you, it gets muuuuch easier. In my life this is someone my husband and I really care about- his sister who we have been close to for 15 years and then she married a guy who is a great guy but who wants to live in denial and do everything the hard way. He’s a pill. We have watched her, my SIL, change so much and have supported their marriage. She agrees, after soliciting input, on what is usually sound, common sense advice from us and then does something opposite. Honestly, my guess is that in your case the husband is disagreeing with what you are saying. And...there’s nothing you can do about it. So we keep the relationship nice and pleasant. I’m not a hard nosed who just gets rough with people because they aren’t doing something “right”... life is too short for that. Just detach from wanting her to do what you think is right - and love and support and commiserate with her as much as you can.
  4. I started having pain in my foot 5 weeks ago. With a weird line of bruising and noticeable swelling on top of foot. Finally went to podiatrist 3 weeks ago and he suspected a stress fracture AND extensor tendinitis. He did xrays and didn't see a fracture (apparently you don’t see them until they have healed) but did note there was thickening on the bone that indicates pressure. I don’t know what that means. also used a tuning fork over the bone which reallllly hurt. Pain is both superficial and sharp, and deep and achey- I cannot walk normally on it. Guessing that’s how the tendinitis set in- I was limping for weeks. I also have small fiber neuropathy in both feet and experience a lot of swelling and blood pooling due to other issues. I asked him if that would affect- he wasn’t sure. I know SFN can cause nerve pain - but I’ve had observable swelling and discoloration as well. I’m in a walking boot. Have been for almost 3 weeks- and wear a splint at night. Yesterday and today- for the first time my foot felt better. I can’t drive with it on but had the boot off more today between driving kids places. Tonight the stupid bruising and pain is back- with swelling. I know it’s my own fault for not being as diligent but the bruise coming back and the sudden pain is just so hard to understand. I just cannot figure this out. If it was a stress fracture wouldn’t it be healing by now? I’ve had full on foot fractures and one presumed stress fracture 2 years ago from a traumatic injury. They healed in a linear, predictable fashion. The weird line of bruising in particular is just so odd- I can’t make sense of it. Is that normal with a stress fracture? It goes away and comes back? It’s never there unless I’m having pain. Does this register or sound familiar at all to anyone?
  5. I saw your original post and hear what you are saying. 🙂
  6. I'll use your language. I did have some fat to trim, relationally speaking. For me its been relationships with liberal friends that have been damaged- and I'm not certain I shall try to repair it based on what I've learned. I'm politically in the middle and people who know me, know that I am considered, sincere, and respectful. I am also a person of faith- which supersedes political affiliations and positions...but do not put me in a box. While I lean more conservative on a few more things than liberal, I am 100% in between. I fit no where. And on good days, its pretty cool to have a very diverse circle of family and friends. And I intentionally keep relationships with people who do not think the same as me- its harder, but healthier in some ways to keep perspective. What I've observed is that there needs to be mutual respect to make this diverse circle work- not just the "I'll wait till you're done talking so I can talk" but an actual foundation of respect. For me, COVID has highlighted those friendships where people are NOT in that place. Differences of opinion are great- but disrespect for differences and making broad generalizations is not ok with me. Relationships have been damaged in 2 ways. First, those who have been judgmental of choices or opinions or perspectives different than their own- not even thinly veiled or subtle or engaging in thoughtful conversation- just specific, judgmental and harsh. Just so harsh. Its so difficult to engage with that kind of closed thought process. Secondly, those who have become almost toxic with every event/circumstance/issue circling back to political ideology. For my friends who share Christian faith, this has been particularly hurtful. It's as if politics are the now the new defining standard- this has somehow sharpened since COVID. I cannot tell you how damaging this has been to our faith community as well as personal relationships.
  7. That makes sense for POTS.... walking is ok for many as muscles are contracting and stimulating blood flow but standing in place is no bueno. My DD16 who has POTS works in delivery fulfillment at Target (shopping for people’s orders) and frequently has shifts with 16-20k steps per day. It’s tiring but doable. But milling about in a museum or standing in line makes her feel horrible almost immediately. For some with milder, less debilitating levels of POTS, it’s the “only normal” a lot of people have ever known - and it’s only after diagnosis that they look back and understand ohhhhh that’s why I do xyz. For the more severe cases it’s obvious something is very wrong but the symptoms are so complex and overwhelming that most traditional Drs don’t know how to deal with that because of their “pick one issue” treatment mindset. I’ve heard it said it’s the most common condition that you’ve never heard of... meaning there are many cases but not many Drs can diagnose so patients lost interest the shuffle. A Specialist for POTS is able to see the complex cluster of symptoms- and knows that POTS, many times, is not the only disorder present. RE the hives, you might want to look into MCAS as it relates to allergies. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. Again highly complex, not well understood syndrome that is often found with POTS people. I am sorry if I’m fire hosing you- it is not my intent to internet diagnose. All of this is shared from my perspective of having hiked thru a physical hell over the last year and have learned a LOT. I simply want to help shine a light when I can
  8. Do you have any familiarity with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)? That’s what it sounds like to me and it’s been documented as a lingering after affect of COVID- for some triggered into high gear and for others they notice it for the first time. I am in some POTS support groups online and there has been an influx of people being diagnosed with it after having COVID. https://dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=30 It’s a form of Dysautonomia which is a dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system...responsible for all of the “automatic functions” of the body. The most tell tale sign is Orthostatic intolerance- meaning HR climbs from normal rate when going from seated to standing, and remains elevated when standing because blood is pooling in the lower legs instead of circulating normally- this leads to light headedness, dizziness and fainting. The elevated HR is the body’s attempt to get more blood to the head- STAT. Dysautonomia also causes a bunch of other issues. I have it and my DD16 has a mild case as well. She has traditional POTS and her BP drops when she stands, I have hyperadrenergic POTS and my BP rises a LOT when I stand up. My case was triggered into severe mode after a head trauma. But I had a history of unexplained fainting since teenage years and have likely had a mild case for 20 years. I will also add that it can be tricky to find a Dr familiar with it to diagnose it. I had to do research to find a Dr who could diagnose- an electrophysiologist diagnosed me but knew very little about it - so, I see a specialist for management because the . It can take YEARS for people to be properly diagnosed.
  9. Childhood home till age 18 College dorm (State 2) College apt #1, 2, 3 Grad school apt #1, 2 (State 3) Grad school rental house First Home Second Home (State 4) Third Home (State 5) 10 moves/5 states
  10. That is how my body responds to hydrocodone. I’ve used it twice after surgeries -oral and knee- and while it makes fell me so drowsy, I literally cannot sleep and am awake for hours. it was super frustrating given the circumstances, so I stopped taking it and switched to alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen for a day or so. Do you need the pain relief? Are you taking them around the clock? IMHO you don’t have to take it just because they prescribed it/gave it to you. But I am pretty low pharmaceutical intervention unless fully indicated and tolerated. Im so sorry for your accident. Gentle hugs and prayers for peace and healing for your body.
  11. I was thinking the same thing about last Spring- it wasn’t a record (apparently) but pretty memorable because all the trees were shocked.
  12. Overall, yes the pattern of hot with a crazy fast drop to cold is actually pretty typical of Fall and Spring. This cold snap with snow is the earliest I’ve seen in my 9 years here and the temperature change will be record breaking. Average first snow here is Oct 18 and latest is April 28 which usually blows peoples minds, if you aren’t familiar with the weird weather. But it’s usually a few days of extreme than more seasonable- the snow comes in fast and hard and then leaves. We don’t have ridiculous snow fall here and winter is the best I’ve ever experienced in the US for snowfall because we get so much sunshine- unlike the Northeast or Ohio valley. It was 100 yesterday, 92 today and high tomorrow will be 36 with 5” of snow (which will all mostly melt).
  13. This was helpful for me today, thank you for sharing. I really appreciate aspects of the article as I have been through a lot of loss and upending of normalcy prior to COVID, and some of the “ways forward” from this article do indeed ring true. Ten months prior to COVID, I sustained a head injury and subsequent complications that thrust me into a world of complex, chronic illness, and necessitated the loss of my small business. This article addresses several of the issues I have had to begin to work through —namely, previously being go getter/Type A who cannot approach life that way anymore and how to cope with problems that have no solutions. The ambiguous losses with COVID are somehow easier for me to deal with because they are happening to to ALL of us. We have family around the globe and it has affected everyone- even remote villages in India where everyone has internet signal but not necessarily indoor running water. While this is painful and devastating. I find comfort not being “the only person I know” facing these ambiguous losses and it gives context to how COVID affects is all differently, based on socioeconomic standing. I believe the article could have expanded to acknowledge that some people have been financially devastated by COVID- not coping by treating themselves to eating out or using a meal delivery system. Yes, these changes and losses of normalcy are profound and significant but that in greater context most people reading that kind of article are likely insulated from significant hardship by privilege or simple luck- and have not been significantly financially impacted by COVID. The fact that the financial aspect wasn’t mentioned at all is what signals privilege to me, because it is a reality for millions and millions of people. ( I am most certainly the only person know in a meaningful capacity who has lost a business due to COVID) Also, while yes- we deal with these changes within ourselves and need to rely on spectacular inner resources that need replenishment, we can draw incredible strength from within the context of community- as all of our friends, co workers and family members are facing significant upheaval as well. That is a significant boost as opposed to going through it alone. I liked “If you stay in the rational when nothing else is rational, like right now, then you’ll just stress yourself more,” she says. “What I say with ambiguous loss is the situation is crazy, not the person. The situation is pathological, not the person.” This is how I, LarlaB, have coped. I have watched Drs and therapists be taken aback by my bullet points from the severe challenges of my life over the last 15 months of my life. I can never tire of hearing validation that the circumstances I have dealt with are overwhelming and crazy. I also liked: “Our new normal is always feeling a little off balance, like trying to stand in a dinghy on rough seas, and not knowing when the storm will pass. But humans can get better at anything with practice, so at least I now have some ideas for working on my sea legs.” That is also a helpful way to name what we are experiencing. When trying to stand in the dinghy for the first time, we will likely quickly sit back down. But in time we grow in our ability to accomplish this!
  14. It has been so hot and smoky here’s I can’t wait till cold weather comes. We are in CO and winter is so wonderful (we aren’t skiers). It’s all about gear IMHO
  15. Same here. We got an annual Instacart subscription last year after my head injury- so over 70+ deliveries (Costco, Sams, Kroger, Sprouts etc). It was always shopped and delivered by the same person. Always.
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