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LarlaB

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About LarlaB

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. Scarlett, IMHO it’s what you do and say now- the unconditional love that you reiterate to him now that will salvage your relationship in the long run. Whats done is done and while he can’t respect or accept your decision now, it’s how you handle the friction and his anger that will keep your relationship threads intact. You can’t change him but you can show the strength only a momma can and love him relentlessly- even when he’s hurt you. He needs to learn to handle his anger and disagreements in a more mature way- no doubt! And I’m sorry you’re bearing the brunt of the anger. He sounds somewhat similar to you insofar as strong convictions. But he’s younger and inexperienced and very zealous. Hopefully in time he will soften and mature as he sees your steadfast love alongside with conviction.
  2. Thanks for sharing! Im waiting on cardiologist appointment for official POTS dx...he is presumably one of the few known to dx and treat POTS in my area. thankfully ?!?!? I have a moderately severe case that had sudden onset following head injury so it “should” be textbook easy to diagnose as my HR jumps 40-50 beats just by standing and I have all kinds of accompanying symptoms. So many people struggle for years to get diagnosed and so this is huge! Standardized screening instead of subjective and unpleasant specialist testing is always a huge win!!!!
  3. OP again.... so long story short it literally just occurred to me that my DD15 has a lot of light headedness when standing. So we did sit stand test and she jumped Fromm 72bpm to 125bpm both times and felt funny standing still- realized like I did that we just naturally shift and sway. Then I threw in a blood pressure monitor and noticed that her blood pressure seems to drop when she stands. I feel like an idiot LOL never took huge notice of all this with her because I think I’ve been used to this for most of my life, getting dizzy when i stand up too faatZ. I’m 5’ 11” and thought it was because I’m so tall and so thought that she was similar… maybe I’ve really had this for a while but the concussion trauma push me to flare. is POTS genetic?!?!? my husband and son have totally normal responses in the sit stand test BTW.
  4. OP here Yes 10 days after my concussion, I saw a DO/osteopath. My sister-in-law who lives locally had a brain injury several years ago and highly recommended him. I followed his top 3 recommendations beyond rest and agreed that piece medaling out PT could be done later when I was more stable (I’m aware I need vestibular and vision therapy) When you’ve been around people who have brain injuries you realize that it’s not a sprint to the finish or anything close. Since i have 2 family members who have concussions/brain injuries (ironically mine is worse) , a close friend who is an ER Dr, another friend who is Psychiatrist and sister-in-law who is Nurse Practitioner- I am fine forgoing a classic neurologist and taking my time. YMMV. I belong to a FB concussion recovery support group with 10,000 members… The overwhelming response is that most neurologist are not helpful for concussions- maybe 1 in 10 has even heard of post concussion syndrome. The concussion support group has been absolutely invaluable. The heart stuff is in a different category for me because it’s so unknown, and I don’t feel like I could easily find 10 doctors or clinicians who could help. I’ve got to go… I’ve had way too much screen time
  5. Thank you! I remember you saying that before too. Its normalizing to hear. RE concussion.....I think I'm right on schedule, all things considered. Given the 11-12 symptoms I had at the start and the supposed lengthy healing prognosis I was given (some chart about the more symptoms, the longer and less complete the healing- like 2 years or something) I'm moving along faster than I thought I would- especially when I compare to others stories. I've never been convinced that 'all the therapies' is the only option- I'm pretty sure I'll need some help with the vision though. i think they can help, but time is what is needed- IMHO. And its tough to just sit and wait.
  6. I saw an Osteopath and have gotten input from friends who are Dr.s and SIL who had a mTBI. Following supplements from Osteopath. I don't have a primary care dr as she moved out of area and frankly, would have been useless for this (no offense to her). I was trying to let TIME and reasonable rest be the healer for a bit..... and frankly, I'm happy with my rate of improvement given all that I've read. Are you familiar with a functional neurologist?
  7. THANKS for your reply. Yes, the supplements were my first suspect and I've stopped them regularly over the last 3-4 weeks because of the diarrhea and fainting episodes. It seems unlikely that there coudl be a build up of any one thing since I've been so sporadic with them. I'd LOVE to be wrong. I haven't taken anything except Benadryl since Tuesday. I wasn't taking super high doses of anything...still within range of magnesium most days, and from what I understand you simply get the runs when there is too much mag. My gut feels that since I had POTS (ish) symptoms (near fainting and dizziness, temperature intolerance for prob 10 years) and have been under a lot of stress and likely stuck in fight/flight mode due to years of stress with DHs job stuff, I wondered if the trauma of the concussion was a tipping point. I had a natuorpath tell me that she thought I was exhibiting signs of adrenal fatigue a few years back when I had wonky thyroid test results. So my concussion occurred when I was pretty stressed and my adrenals already amped. Sorry to overshare- but some of these things seem very intertwined to me, particularly when considering the nervous system overdrive/fight or flight condition. I've been so much calmer and at peace (mostly) since my injury because its so out of my control. I am healing from concussion- still have vision and balance issues for sure. The eye issues have been much more touchy this week and have caused a new kind of vertigo. i cannot see how that could be connected to the heart stuff, but what do I know. - my entire system just seems to revved up and sensitive right now- digestion, endless headaches, no appetite, crazy fatigue.
  8. Yes- I do think the concussion triggered the POTS- and it could have been brewing. There are known connections between mTBI and dysautonomia and it is well discussed in those subgroups....namely a trauma/illness/childbirth can bring POTS to life The specialist I'm interested in works with dysautonomia conditions only. Also works with Celiac Disease (which I also have and dont get the connection) and she is touted to be a researcher who will find out what subtype you have and likely how/when it came into play. I've been on a high dose of neuro mag (Mag threonate) or 3 months as part of the supplement protocol along with other supplements. I feel like a dork but thanks you guys for caring and commenting. .
  9. Yes - a sign that friend made about Hope- about 25 pounds of reclaimed wood. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement and perspective. I agree 100%_ its what works. And a lot of times its a combination that is unique to each person and situation. I went to an Osteopath early on and got a bunch of injections in my head and neck as well as specialized supplements for concussion protocol...I'm hopeful that it all has been what has helped me heal relatively quickly thus far.
  10. Its a not all on finances. I'm not a full western medicine girl and don't like the mainstream medical system and am hesitant to jump in with both feet. I believe nutrition, exercise and lifestyle and supplements can do so much more than we credit - I'm a massage therapist and kind of crunchy like that. But we are coming out of debt after a job loss for my DH several years ago, and I'm more $$ conscious RE medical bills because they can balloon so quickly. RE POTS, Its a nervous system disorder not a true cardiac problem so its managed thru medications and lifestyle management- some people end up in wheelchairs and have hydration ports....and some people are able to work, run, play and be pretty well managed. It seems to vary but can be a huge issue- like waiting in line for anything would cause my HR to get so high, I'd likely pass out.
  11. Concussion 15 weeks ago which is still limiting for me. I've been resting, exercising, nutrition and cranio sacral appointments and felt I was starting to really come back to life- I still cannot drive and had to close my business but in the long term, this is a good recovery considering how bad it was. I have a list of specialists (vision therapist, vestibular, functional neurologist) of which to avail myself when I'm ready to do so. We are financially strapped due to my loss of income and a pile of medical bills, so I'm not excited to dash off for more treatment and more willing to just allow my body to try and heal itself. And then this week. Tuesday my DH called 911 because I was borderline conscious and my HR was 165. I was home alone and couldn't decide whether to call him or 911- I'll spare the details. EMT's did a 12 lead hookup- and thankfully everything looked normal. But HR stayed very high for quite some time- It finally came down to 125 and we opted not to be have me transported to ER. I have not seen a Dr yet (who exactly would I dash into see?!?!??!) since then but did as much research as my wonky eyes can handle, a few at home heart rate tests self-diagnosed as likely having POTS. A lot of things from the last few months make more sense in the POTS context too.- but it seems to be more of a full time problem as of Tuesday...like it was a visitor, but has now moved in and rules the roost. I started using a heart rate monitor and saw that my rate jumps 40-50 beats every time I stand - from 70-75bpm to 115-120bpm. This AM standing and brushing my teeth, my heart rate hit 151 beats per minute- just standing. I start breathing hard and don't feel very welll- sometimes way worse than others- but as soon as I sit down, it resolves to normal in 30-45 seconds and I feel better. I've taken videos several times already- Its so hard to believe its happening. And then sometimes HR goes high when I'm lying in bed rest and that doesn't feel good at all. As per online recommendations, I'm using compression tights, lots of electrolye/water and increasing salt. I have a short list of specialists- very fortunate to live where we do. One is nationally recognized and happens to have an opening in late October. Which is awesome. But wowsers- that's a long time to wait and she is $2k CASH for the first visit (4 hours). I keep reminding myself that as long as I mildly control the heart rate, its not scary or damaging. But then think I should just go to the ER and hope someone there can diagnose it quickly and give me drugs to better manage it ASAP. What's another ER bill? Sigh. Its been a long 4 months already for me- with rare and unusual happenings I thought the crazy stuff was over!!!!!!! I really thought I had rounded a corner and was starting to really improve. It's just a lot to handle today. I'm sure I will regroup and reassess and feel better tomorrow. But my head is spinning (LOL) at how quickly this came on and the implications and I'm feeling so battle scarred from teh last 4 months already- for our whole family. This has NOT been easy for my DH. Ahem. That is all.
  12. In a certain price point and age in selling a car, I PROMISE you people expect lots of imperfections and don’t notice. They are looking for transportation. We have bought and sold many cars as we have a car sharing business. People won’t care like you care.
  13. IMHO not a direct consequence (insofar as specific causation) but a byproduct of imperfection and brokenness occurring in the world because of the existence of evil. I do not believe I miscarried babies because of my specific sin or evil. Rather i acknowledge that brokenness and imperfection exists in this world and affects everything- it is all imperfect. Including my genetic coding (my undiagnosed celiac disease) or chromosomal abnormalities incompatible with life (baby). My larger point was to how I’ve personally reconciled the “why does $hit happen”. For me it’s living within tension and the struggle aNd acknowledging that it cannot all be perfect and good. That’s n unreasonable expectation. Why would I or anyone be exempt from $hit happening? Its challenging the assumption that life is supposed to be perfection aNd goodness. As if sin or brokenness or imperfection or evil don't coexist with me. It bothers me when any deviation from perfection expectation seems to get dumped on the God figure instead of acknowledging that imperfection, sin and evil simply exist. But it’s still my default response- to blame God instead of acknowledge how much I have need of Him.
  14. I am 11 weeks post concussion and unable to drive, cross a street on my own (safely) or read more than a few sentences before starting over because of an inability to concentrate. So its incredibly hard for me to express myself well. That's my caveat. But I must try. I am Christian, a rare female graduate of seminary and someone who has suffered pain in life. Childhood abuse, depression and suicide attempts, miscarriages in wanted/planned pregnancies, massive job loss that nearly bankrupted us, random injuries and significant illness that completely altered life- and also a former pastors wife (10 years in ministry). I share that to demonstrate that I have experienced enough significant pain and unfairness in life, to earn a voice in the conversation of $hit happens. The rejection of the Christian God always seem boil down to the fact that evil=pain=suffering co-exists with God. A lot of people think that if God exists and is fully "love" and that love must somehow nullify evil, and so therefore we should be exempt from the markings of evil if we believe in love. A lot of people believe that LOVE is goodness, happiness and can fully change the earth into a perfect, utopia, pain free existence. A lot of people need to feel that God is rational or fair in their human estimation. I believe that no matter how GOOD or SELFLESS or TOLERANT or POSITIVE we are, evil exists and we cannot fully eliminate or eradicate it. I believe, as MLK said, light is the only thing that drives out darkness (aka, darkness exists). Furthermore, I believe that evil exists and that evil's distinct function and intent is to disrupt, damage and destroy the world. I believe that there is an unseen tension or battle that fights for the hearts and minds and behaviors of humankind. I believe that evil is like a computer virus that mutates, distorts, adapts and corrupts the human experience on earth with the specific intent to separate us from a connection with God. How could a "good God allow XYZ" is where most people jump ship. And its 100% understandable and frankly is exactly what we should be asking. That wrestling has cut me to my core to observe that a loving God would allow such brokenness and evil to exist- and intersect with my life in such horrible ways. We shouldn't be able to easily reconcile evil coexisting with God and still easily accept/believe in God. But to me, that is the core of religious faith. To believe that saved/rescued/redeemed from something indicates that there is something other than pure goodness and roses and utopia that must exist- that redemption is the core of all major religions, no matter than expression. Its seeing the brokenness and fallibility of the human condition and looking beyond it to see something greater and more perfect, even if not understood. And that redemption is, at core a complex process of choice and faith in the unseen or not fully understood. God wants us to choose God. Choose. Despite the pain, the regime of evil, the demise of humanity- to look more broadly and see the cosmic battle and choose to try and stand on the side of love...the love that we cannot reasonably understand. To say "God gives and takes away- nevertheless, blessed be His Name". Why is this important? I think its because it acknowledges that my PAIN and my experience is not the center of existence in this world. I am not the center. My experience and understanding does not define what is true. God is the center. God does not exist for my sake, I exist for Gods sake. Evil? Evil very simply wants us to deny and doubt existence of God- and to not just question or test (Adam and Eve 101), but to reject. It is a profound tension we live in. I have never consciously believed God to be an entity who acts as Santa Clause- giving us what we want, and only being goodness and happiness and positive thoughts. Yet, my first response in the middle of profound pain is ALWAYS: Why.did.this.happen.to.me? When I'm bleeding and realize I'm losing my baby- it is my very first thought even as I pray and beg for God to intervene and change what is happening. And God seems silent. I have come to believe God has allowed evil to influence and alter this world- genetic mutation, pathology, murder, cruelty, domination, I don't think pain is God's problem, nor does evil change who God is. I think pain is a product of evil and brokenness. But again, that's a complex conclusion. It 100% sucks to live in a imperfect, fallen and broken world. 100%. There is no clear upside to enduring pain, loss and grief. It rips at us-at the very fabric of our existence. Tries to weaken us from the desire to carry on- much less continue to believe. And yet.....yet, pain is 100% a part of our existence and experience as living beings- though we try to escape, suppress, control and deny it. One of my favorite books is CS Lewis "the Problem of Pain" wherein he addresses this nagging issue of (essentially) $hit happening. It has helped me cope thru some of my really dark moments. No easy answers, rather more dealing with the struggle. That is what has changed it for me. Seeing the struggle and accepting no easy answers or relief from the tension.
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