s/o do you put things back where you got them?

[SKL]

I noticed this about myself the other day.  I have a habit/reflex to replace a thing wherever I got it from, when I put it down.  Which is great if that's the place it actually belongs.  Not so great if I found it in a random place to begin with.

Not sure if I taught myself this in order to be generally neat and efficient, or if it's an in-born quirk.  I can say a lot of people don't have this particular quirk.  😛

Just one of the things my brain wants to think about today.

What about you?  Do you automatically put things back where you found them, or automatically put them where they belong, or consciously think about where to put them?  Why are we different?

[stephanier.1765]

I do. I always put things where they belong. Sometimes I even annoy myself because I'll put it away even when I still need it. LOL

[Jean in Newcastle]

If I know where they belong and if I'm not in the midst of a task (even a multi-day one) where I will need it again soon, then I will put it where it belongs.  But some things are left out until I do a "tidy sweep" around the area.  I'm ok with that. 

[Kanin]

Certain things, yes, now that I'm making a concerted effort to do it. And it's very effortful!

Lots of times, no, and I hate it. It's one of the things I like least about myself, and I always have trouble finding things.

[Kanin]

I do have a "put this away someday" basket, and I give myself permission to put things in there if I can't deal with putting them away correctly. 

[marbel]

It depends on the thing. If it's something that I consider my area - like cooking stuff - I will put it where it belongs. If it's someone else's thing, I'll put it where I found it, even if I know it's the wrong place.  For example, a screwdriver on the kitchen table - I might take it and use it, then put it back there on the assumption that the person who put it there did so for a reason, and will eventually put it where it belongs. 

[ScoutTN]

Mostly.

[teachermom2834]

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. 🤷🏼‍♀️

But I definitely think everyone else should 100% of the time. It’s just common sense!

[regentrude]

Mostly I put things back where they belong automatically.
But not always immediately, if it involves a trip up or down the stairs - then I'll wait until I am going there anyway.

[Pawz4me]

Where it belongs.

[SKL]

34 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I do. I always put things where they belong. Sometimes I even annoy myself because I'll put it away even when I still need it. LOL

This is what I was doing yesterday.  I was spraying stains.  I kept putting the stain spray back in the cupboard between uses.  Then thought, that's dumb, put it over here.  Next time I went to use it, I reached into the cupboard - not there - grabbed it from the new place - put it back in the new place.  By the time I finally learned to look for it in the new place, I was done spraying and thought, "now it goes back into the cupboard."  But I put it back in the new place, automatically.  (Then thought, why is the cupboard door still open, and where is the spray bottle ....")

The brain is weird.

[Corraleno]

I generally put things back where they belong as soon as I'm done with them, unless I'm in the middle of something else. So for example all keys live in a dish on the table in the entry hall and 99% of the time I drop them there as soon as I come in, but if I'm juggling 5 bags of groceries I may end up in the kitchen with the keys still in my hand. I'll usually walk them back to the entry hall, but if I've got a bunch of frozen food that's been sitting in a hot car, I may put the keys in my pocket or on top of my purse until I've put the food away. What I do not do is stick them on top of the fridge or wander into the laundry room with them still in my hand and leave them on a random shelf, so that everyone in the house has to run around in a panic looking for them when it's time to go somewhere and keys are not in the dish or anywhere else anyone can see them.

I am trying very very hard to train my ADHD kiddo to set up an everything-has-a-place system, and stop leaving things in random places (wallet on top of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, textbook in a laundry basket that dirty clothes got thrown on top of, wireless earbuds that were set on top of an opened package of toilet paper and fell inside, etc.). I wish I could say I've been even a little bit successful in that attempt, but alas I have not. 😕

[SKL]

My oldest brother used to leave things just anywhere, and then it would be a big emergency as he insisted that somebody "hid his ___" and we must all scramble to look for it.  😛  When my kid sister was about 1yo (16 years younger than brother), she always noticed where things were put.  Brother would start his "where's my __" hissy fit, and baby would stand with one finger in her mouth and the other pointing to whatever tall piece of furniture the ___ was on.  😛  Same parents, completely different wiring.

[Drama Llama]

I have a terrible memory for location.  I can pick something up, and two minutes later have no idea where I got it.  I'm the person who needs to open both top drawers of my own dresser to remember where I keep my underwear.   It's one of the reasons why I don't have a lot of stuff, because I like keeping things neat and organized, but my capacity to do so is limited. 

I'm good at looking at someone's system and figuring out where things must go if it's obvious.  But remembering?  I can't. 

[BeachGal]

I confess that I am a nut about putting things back in their proper places.

My husband is the opposite. One time I found the deed to our house in between his underwear in the closet! When I asked him why it was there, he said he thought it was a good spot but he forgot he had put it there. lol He still tends to put things down absent mindedly and wherever. It’s just how he’s wired, I think. Luckily, I know where most of his hidey holes are now and our house is small, thankfully.

[Melissa in Australia]

I put things back where they belong. Apparently this is a super skill that is limited to very few people in the household. 

My twins are like magpies. Pick stuff up at random, walk around with it, sometimes dismantle it into its smallest components and when they lose interest just drop it. 

[HomeAgain]

In the kitchen, yes.  It's almost compulsive.  Everywhere else I tend to wait and do quick tidies every hour or so, doing a bit of clean up all at the same time.

[ikslo]

My house and my stuff. Where it belongs is wherever I decide at any given moment. Also DH’s house/stuff. Sometimes where I think something belongs is not in agreement with where he thinks it belongs. Such is life. 

[MEmama]

Yes, I do almost always. Or very soon thereafter.

The other members of the household, no. Only one has ADHD, annd interestingly this is not an area in which his OCD is the dominant force. 

I literally fantasize about living alone in a perfectly organized Ikea decorated space.

[maize]

Nope.

I don't usually remember where I got something. Lack of visual memory in general probably contributes to that.

[Drama Llama]

1 minute ago, maize said:

Nope.

I don't usually remember where I got something. Lack of visual memory in general probably contributes to that.

Glad I am not the only one. 

[Shoeless]

I put things back where I found them, unless they are "my things", and then I put them back in their proper home. I don't expect other people to know where "my" stuff goes, like my keys or shoes.  I put those things away in a specific place that makes sense to me. 

Other people's stuff, like DH's tools, go back where I found them. I assume he has a reason for why he puts things in a certain spot, so I put it back where I found it. 

I have sometimes "tidied up" his tool area. Like, he has a bin with a bunch of glue tubes, and I notice that a glue tube is in with the paint brushes, I'll put it in the right place. But that is because I know he's going to be looking for that glue tube and irritated that it was in the wrong spot, (even though he was the one that put it in the wrong place!). 

Edited July 1, 2023 by Shoeless

[kathyl]

I usually do.  Or I make a sweep of the house periodically and collect things to put back in their places. 

I think 'a place for everything, and everything in its place' was drilled into me when I was growing up.  Both my parents kept their areas of our cars, house, and yard extremely well-organized and neat and clean.  And they kept the things associated with those areas just as organized, clean, and neat.  I made an effort to NOT be quite as much like my parents, however, because I kind of think they took better care of their things than they did their kids.  Ex:  I never learned to cook until I was a married adult because my mother couldn't stand to have me messing up her kitchen.  Same with cleaning the house.

I knew 3 of my grandparents, so I understood why my parents were like they were.  But their circumstances were drastically different from mine, too, so I had to let go of some of that.  We had very few 'things' when we were growing up.  And it was only me and my 2 brothers.  But I had 5 kids whom I hs'ed and they had a zillion hobbies and interests, including chickens, peacocks, ducks, gardening, water gardens, art stuff everywhere, etc.  Very messy stuff.  My parents would have been horrified.  lol

I do try to keep things where I can find them.  And this includes the house, garage, and shed.  But dh also uses these areas and since he retired it's harder for me to do that, especially in the shed where we store a lot of gardening and yard equipment.

[rebcoola]

I try. My mothet tried to teach me she is a very naturally neat and organized person. I do better if the place is still somewhere I can see.  I"ve also learned to a degree not to worry about design and do what works and is practical.  If things are always put down or found in a spot than that needs to become the spot even of its not what an NT person would choose.  

[popmom]

I don't generally because...ADHD. I get distracted and bounce around from one task to another without finishing. It's not ideal. I'm not proud of it. I'm not unclean at all--I just have some clutter and stuff. I try to do a "sweep" every day in one area--the garden/patio one day, the living room, bedroom/bath...go through and pick up things that aren't supposed to "live there" and return it to its home. It's not efficient. It is what it is. 

My kitchen would be organized if I didn't let people help me clean in there. We've been in this house 12 years, and still no one knows where to put anything when unloading the dishwasher. It amazes me. I even have some shelves LABELED. lol

[elegantlion]

I generally do. It may be the next day if it's my desk, but I have spots for everything here. We're in a small space, so it's cramped, but things go back where they belong on a regular basis. 

[Clarita]

Nope and it's a work in progress.

[Heartstrings]

I tend to just set stuff down wherever, then do 2 or 3 quick pick ups a day to return the majority of it to where it goes.  So no, I don’t put things right back but I’m mostly only inconveniencing myself since I’m the one picking it up later.  Cups, my keys, kid hair stuff, and school stuff are the things I set down most.  The house stays fairly tidy and the whole downstairs could be put back together in 20-30 minutes if I had to, although that wouldn’t include the play room.  

Edited July 1, 2023 by Heartstrings

[SKL]

It's interesting, because I'm trying to get my kids to do things that feel so obvious to me.  Like you take off your shirt, you have to put it somewhere.  There's a laundry bin right there.  Why wouldn't you use it?  You'd rather drop the shirt on the floor, step/trip over it 100 times, get nagged at 10 times, and finally have to bend over and pick it up and put it in the laundry bin?  How is that easier??  😛  Same thing with the garbage bin that is inches away from where you threw your wrappers on the floor.  Imagine how much less cleaning you'd have to do if you just took a millisecond to consider where your hand should be when you open it and drop that garment / garbage?!

I think I've trained myself to not let go of a thing without there being some rule or logic behind where I put it.  Even though I don't really think about it most of the time, it feels wrong to just put things down randomly.  This really does save me a lot of work in the long run.

I think it came from reading some time management advice, specifically the "handle things only once" rule.  You get the mail, and 90% of it can be dealt with in one touch (usually a toss toward the recycle bin).  Why bring it in, put it on the table, then move it to your desk. sort it into piles etc. etc., when you could just carry it straight over to File 13 and read/toss whatever you don't need to keep?  I apply that concept to many household activities.  As a result, I don't spend much time cleaning as a separate task.  But there is a loss of efficiency at those times when it really would be better to put something down temporarily.  😛

[wisdomandtreasures]

Yes and I have tried for years now to get my kids to do the same, but no. It's a never-ending cycle of clean up, then look like we belong on "Hoarders" within an hour! 😉

[TexasProud]

7 hours ago, SKL said:

It's interesting, because I'm trying to get my kids to do things that feel so obvious to me.  Like you take off your shirt, you have to put it somewhere.  There's a laundry bin right there.  Why wouldn't you use it?  You'd rather drop the shirt on the floor, step/trip over it 100 times, get nagged at 10 times, and finally have to bend over and pick it up and put it in the laundry bin?  How is that easier??  😛  Same thing with the garbage bin that is inches away from where you threw your wrappers on the floor.  Imagine how much less cleaning you'd have to do if you just took a millisecond to consider where your hand should be when you open it and drop that garment / garbage?!

Because, while I am taking off my shirt I am thinking about a blog post or I am mad that I cannot get Google analytics to work or thinking about a post on here and in the middle of that hubby calls me to ask a question.  I am generally in my own head and not really conscious of what I am doing. I don't know how to explain it, but I am not there. 

[purpleowl]

No. 👀 I tend to just leave things wherever I was using them. I'll take out my earrings while I'm sitting at my desk and think "I'll go put these away as soon as I finish X," but then while I'm doing X I also think about how I need to do Y, so I get started on that, then Z runs through my brain so I have to do that... And then there are materials from X, Y, and Z in various places, and my earrings are still sitting on the desk.

[Annie Elle]

All my things have a spot. It drives me crazy when I cannot find something. Unfortunately no one else in my house shares this. I am grateful that I have mostly grown kids and a husband that help with the household chores and cooking but they don’t put things back in their place. My kitchen cabinets and drawers are a mess though you wouldn’t know it because the appearance of the kitchen is tidy. Cooking in the kitchen can be frustrating because I can’t find the salt shaker, spatula, a particular lid for a pot, etc. I’m especially frustrated when high quality items that I have spent time researching and invested money in disappear and no one can tell me what happened to it.

[Indigo Blue]

My two cents is that there isn’t a right or a wrong. You’re not “bad” or wrong to do things a certain way. Example: I don’t want to be like my Aunt Susie who was too neat and she was the type of person who focused more on things being in their place than people being comfortable. So bad Aunt Susie means you are also bad if you are neat? Not necessarily. A person can actually be organized and neat AND focused on people. Not care if their house gets messy because they know they can clean later. Neat and organized is second nature for them, so that person may not be “fussing “ over their house because, for them, being tidier is actually EASIER. 
 

Someone else might be less tidy, but they get along best with not having to fuss over things, because that makes things more difficult for them as being organized does not come naturally. They are not “bad” or wrong for being untidy. 
 

But when you have shared spaces, everyone should consider others. Of course, this doesn’t always happen. But grown adults should try, instead of gaslighting others into feeling guilty because they prefer tidiness or vice versa. Naturally , when you have young children, life may be messier for awhile. 

[wintermom]

I try to put things down where I usually have them, otherwise I end up "losing" them. 😉 

[TexasProud]

5 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

 

But when you have shared spaces, everyone should consider others. Of course, this doesn’t always happen. But grown adults should try, instead of gaslighting others into feeling guilty because they prefer tidiness or vice versa. Naturally , when you have young children, life may be messier for awhile. 

My compromise and what finally worked for me when the kids were at home is that at 3:30 or 4, we would all go from room to room together. I set the timer for  5-10 minutes.  One person put everything back that we had gotten out.  Another would vacuum. Another dust.  Then move to the next room.  The four of us could get the house clean in 30 minutes or so.   For my kids, their rooms had to be clean on Friday afternoon before they could play video games or watch a movie.  That way they stayed reasonably clean, but I wasn't like my mom. 

[SquirrellyMama]

I almost never put things back where they were found or where they belong. Which is why I can never find things.

Kelly