Weird or un-weird, what do you think?

[Wilma]

The school my kid attends (private school, not huge) is requiring that kids turn in their acceptance/denial and scholarship information from any school they applied to.  This feels a little personal / intrusive to us, but we also haven't done it before. What do you think?

[SKL]

Define "require."  What would happen if they didn't report it?

Did the school assist the students in applying for these scholarships/colleges?  If so, isn't it decent to let the school know the outcome?

I could see various good reasons why a private school would want this info.

• To improve their ability to help kids get future scholarships and acceptances - the feedback cycle etc.
• To advertise how well it prepares its students.
• To congratulate and encourage its successful and prospective applicants.

I don't see a problem with sharing acceptances, though I don't think kids should have to share rejections, especially if they didn't have the school's help in the application process.

Edited May 8, 2023 by SKL

[kirstenhill]

I voted "other" for the top question. I can totally see and would not be bothered by a school asking for acceptances and scholarships... sharing rejections feels much more personal.  

[Innisfree]

I’m not sure how I personally would feel about doing this, but the private/ parochial school nearest to us, which prides itself on students’ academic achievements, posts a big sign each year announcing how much scholarship money the senior class has been awarded. It’s clearly a marketing strategy. The public school has requested the same information, but I don’t think arms are twisted nearly as hard to get the information there. I don’t know if they ask about acceptances and rejections.

So, I guess it’s pretty common, and maybe people don’t think twice about sharing the information. Hopefully the information about individual students is confidential. Providing the information may seem no more an intrusion than the fact that the school gets standardized test scores. I could understand if a student wanted to keep their information private, though, especially rejections.

[Caclcoca]

I voted other because my kid’s high school requested the information, but dd did not submit it. She thought that it was a little weird and not their business.

[Tenaj]

It may be for a graduation publication/program?  I know when I graduated eons ago, the scholarships and plans of the graduates were all in our program and the local paper.

[stephanier.1765]

The only part that would get my hackles up would be the word "require". I don't like feeling as if I had no choice. Otherwise, I would have no issue. I've seen schools put up displays on their walls of the schools their students have been accepted to. No student names, just the names of the schools.

[catz]

I assume we are talking about college admissions.  I think this is obnoxious.  It is personal information.  

I don't find "scholarship information" super interesting.  Schools use both financial aid and scholarships to fill institutional priorities which may vary by year.  I've seen some schools like to publish this info as a form of bragging rights.  But those numbers really doesn't tell you anything compelling about a student.  It might tell you something about how they made their list of colleges to apply to (merit targeting student vs a need based aid vs a full pay student)  But why is that anyone's business? 

It's marketing for the prep school.   Look how amazing our students are thanks to our amazing school!   Luring students with money is also a form of marketing for colleges (we are SO generous with financial aid - while 20 percent of students are from the 1 percent and over half are full pay).  

I could see asking for acceptances/denials to be used anonomously on a tool like Naviance to help inform future classes from that school.  Though I do think that data is becoming less useful for a lot of schools anyway.   I do have a kid that went through college admissions this year.

ETA - I will also say both my kids got into colleges that were percieved "better" via ratings, high # of applicants or whatever.  But they ended up being 30-40K more PER YEAR than other merit based offers they got at other schools.  Like the thought of having to justify a so-called "lesser" choice to peers is really awful to me if they are publishing this info with names.  

Edited May 8, 2023 by catz

[Soror]

The school wants a lot of info I think is stupid. Ds' school is asking too but I'm not doing it. 

[MEmama]

My son's school asked for their college acceptances, at least for their final choice. The counseling office hangs pennants of every university their students attend 🙂 

I guess they might know whether you report it or not, at least if you use the common app. It would never occur to me that asking would be intrusive. DH's teachers and staff were very proud of their students and the academic excellence of their high school.

[Katy]

They want it to brag, possibly for an awards ceremony, and to recruit new students. Require is a strong word and legally nonsense. Request is more appropriate, and it’s probably fine to include only those that were awarded. It might be helpful to future students to understand how many scholarships a kid needs to apply for to get one, but it’s really no one’s business if it bothers you. 

[Pawz4me]

I'm pretty sure both of the boys' high schools asked for the same info, and that was years ago. But I don't remember if the word "required" was used. I don't see it as a big deal. Mostly they usually want the info for the graduation ceremony -- "our students were accepted to X number of colleges/universities and were offered [however much total] scholarship money."

Edited May 8, 2023 by Pawz4me

[Wilma]

26 minutes ago, SKL said:

Define "require."  What would happen if they didn't report it?

Did the school assist the students in applying for these scholarships/colleges?  If so, isn't it decent to let the school know the outcome?

I could see various good reasons why a private school would want this info.

• To improve their ability to help kids get future scholarships and acceptances - the feedback cycle etc.
• To advertise how well it prepares its students.
• To congratulate and encourage its successful and prospective applicants.

I don't see a problem with sharing acceptances, though I don't think kids should have to share rejections, especially if they didn't have the school's help in the application process.

It's on a graduation checklist!! 

Yes, to a degree, they helped. 

The daughter feels fine about saying whether she did or didn't get in to a given school -- in fact, that's already in their online advisory thing. It's sharing scholarship information that feels weird to her. 

[Wilma]

1 minute ago, Pawz4me said:

I'm pretty sure both of the boys' high schools asked for the same info, and that was years ago. But I don't remember if the word "required" was used. I don't see it as a big deal. Mostly they usually want the info for the graduation ceremony ("our students were accepted to X number of colleges/universities and were offered [however much total] scholarship money."

This makes sense as far as the school's motivation goes.

[Wilma]

4 minutes ago, MEmama said:

My son's school asked for their college acceptances, at least for their final choice. The counseling office hangs pennants of every university their students attend 🙂 

I guess they might know whether you report it or not, at least if you use the common app. It would never occur to me that asking would be intrusive. DH's teachers and staff were very proud of their students and the academic excellence of their high school.

Yes to college plans being public -- no prob at all with that. The kid is feeling prickly about the school asking for the actual letter sent from the colleges that contains all the scholarship / loan information.

[MEmama]

24 minutes ago, Tenaj said:

It may be for a graduation publication/program?  I know when I graduated eons ago, the scholarships and plans of the graduates were all in our program and the local paper.

Oh yeah, our local paper publishes the colleges the top 10(?) students of our area high schools will attend. These are small communities and the kids all know each other from various activities--it's fun to see where everyone is ending up and what they want to pursue. 🙂 

[Wilma]

19 minutes ago, Soror said:

The school wants a lot of info I think is stupid. Ds' school is asking too but I'm not doing it. 

Will the school fuss, do you think? Here it's listed in a graduation requirements document!

[Arcadia]

The list of colleges students are accepted to goes into my district’s high schools’ school profile. It is voluntary but I assume they have the info from our state universities directly. Scholarship info would be none of their business and they don’t ask for that. 

[Elizabeth86]

I wouldn’t do it. I don’t think they could make you.

[Bootsie]

This is not something I would classify as "weird"  

I can see why schools would like to have the information.  It sounds impressive to say that the graduation class was awarded $5million in scholarship and received acceptances at 250 schools.  (The general public does not notice that one top student received $200,000 tuition scholarship at 10 private schools--account for much of that "scholarship money")

The school would like to know that many students are accepted to ABC but none of their students were accepted at XYZ--this gives them an idea of where to target their students' applications the following year and what schools to invite to the campus.  It also shows them areas they may want to work on to strengthen their students' applications.

Future parents want to know this information before spending the money on the private education to calculate their ROI.

The counselors at the school help the students with their applications; and faculty write letters of recommendation.  They want to know the result of these efforts.

But, how does the school "require" it?  Do they keep a list of all of the recommendations sent out and if a student doesn't report about a specific school, do they withhold graduation?  Or, do they just tell students to do it and hope that everyone complies.  

(This is very similar to the situation that universities face when parents want to know how well graduates do but the university has no way of "requiring" students to provide information."

[fairfarmhand]

My girls would have been embarrassed. It would feel "braggy" to them, like publishing how much money their parents made or something. They were good students but would have felt that other kids would possibly have felt "less than" if they didn't measure up.  (At least I'm assuming that this info is for a graduation bio or some such publication.)

I have 3 graduates. Only one of my kids participated in a small homeschool graduation. Of the 10ish participants, only one mentioned the number of DE credits earned and the scholarships earned. In that context, it definitely felt braggy, and I was a bit embarrassed for the girl because she had no idea what the other students were including in their bios.

If it was kept private, it wouldn't be too horrible, but really, we've always kept that info to ourselves because it's nobody's business and in small; communities it has a way of getting around.

[theelfqueen]

I know when my oldest was in school they made a big deal of all the scholarship dollars their students had been "awarded" (actually offered since multiple schools offered  scholarships to most kids and each kid obviously only went to one school ... 

I didn't give it much thought and if my kid provided that info, I wasn't part of the process. We did attend a "scholarship night" event where community organizations sent out representatives to "present" scholarships outside the colleges (ie my son got one for ROTC and one for a scout related thing and people from those groups came). And that's where I remember them talking about the overall offerings. 

[Arcadia]

15 minutes ago, Wilma said:

Yes to college plans being public -- no prob at all with that. The kid is feeling prickly about the school asking for the actual letter sent from the colleges that contains all the scholarship / loan information.

We sometimes attend events hosted at private high schools including things like SAT. Some have a bulletin board where they pin up copies of acceptance letters and did not “white out” the home address. So parents would have to do that themselves if they don’t want their home addresses know to anyone visiting the school.  Scholarship/loan information is definitely personal info.

[gstharr]

My kid's school has an outstanding college counseling department.  They help with the college, financial aid, and scholarship applications.  The information they gather helps them direct students.  The only information released to public is colleges acceptances for the past 5 years.

[Annie G]

We have several high priced private schools near us and they use that info to tout how much scholarship money and how many elite colleges their students have earned admission to. It kind of annoys me because last year one grad we know got into a few ivys and a service academy. So touting all those plus the combined scholarship dollars is misleading.  But I get it- they want to attract students. 
 

[ikslo]

I went to a private prep school in the early 90s. Our college advisors knew all the outcomes whether we told them or not. It was almost like our advisors had an in with every school admissions dept. The ones they didn’t know, they would find out by walking the hallways and talking to your friends. 🤣 My advisor was so incredibly p-off when I chose my “safety” school over the more prestigious ones that also accepted me. It looks better for them when they can say their graduates are all going to top schools. It didn’t matter to them that my safety was actually my top choice and better suited to my interests.

So I voted no big deal. But now thinking back on it, if I could have avoided that hallway confrontation with my advisor, I would have. She tried to get me to pull my acceptance!! Maybe keeping it a secret isn’t such a bad idea. If your kid’s friends can keep their mouths shut, that is. 😉

[Heartstrings]

I’ve always found it disingenuous how schools market that.  If 5 colleges offer $10,000 in scholarships to a student that’s technically $50,000.  But marketing it as $50,000 makes it seem like more than it is, because you can only accept $10,000 from 1 place. So it looks like a “full ride” was offered when it was really just a discount.  I know it’s marketing but it bugs me.  😜

Edited May 8, 2023 by Heartstrings

[Bambam]

My kids were both homeschooled, so this was never an issue for us.

It does sound nosy though. But we do have a private school near us that puts out signs about how many students going to which universities (individual signs per university). I'm assuming this is great advertising for them. 

I've also seen local schools share posts on their FB page with specific high-achieving students listing their total scholarship offers and other awards they have won. I'm assuming this is some sort of advertising thing too. 

I wouldn't share because it is none of their business, IMHO. 

Also, I think it is weird when some kids end up with $9M (I think I saw some student from the south who won that much this past year) of scholarships. No way can he accept all those. So, the other students who might have received those - do they hear that they got them in time so they can make an informed decision about where to attend? Scholarship money is not unlimited. 

[wintermom]

I personally wouldn't do it, but by the time my dc graduates from high school they are an adult and can decide these things on their own.

[Heartstrings]

My public high school requested that we tell the guidance office about acceptances and scholarships, but didn’t “require”.   I have issues with “requirements” after homeschooling so long.   
 

This did unlock a high school memory.   All of the cheerleaders in high school made up T-shirts to wear as certain football players got accepted into certain colleges.  It was so gross.  Girls walking around with “Billy’s going to Vandy” “Tommy’s going to UCLA”.  Ugh.  

Edited May 8, 2023 by Heartstrings

[rebcoola]

I don't know if it is required at DD's school but I wouldn't be surprised. They do senior spotlights, awards  ceremonies and buy all student a shirt to their college.  I assume rejections would help counselors in the future.  It wouldn't bother my oldest or I, it might bother middle they are more sensitive.

[Wilma]

2 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

I’ve always found it disingenuous how schools market that.  If 5 colleges offer $10,000 in scholarships to a student that’s technically $50,000.  But marketing it as $50,000 makes it seem like more than it is, because you can only accept $10,000 from 1 place. So it looks like a “full ride” was offered when it was really just a discount.  I know it’s marketing but it bugs me.  😜

YES. It's this. The kid was offered $$$, but at schools that cost $$$$$. So instead we're on the way to paying $$ for a second/third choice school, which is a struggle. So the marketing of "Hey, look! This kid was offered $$$!" feels bad to all of us.

[Wilma]

1 hour ago, wintermom said:

I personally wouldn't do it, but by the time my dc graduates from high school they are an adult and can decide these things on their own.

Sure, same. My kid is handling - but we're talking about it together. 

[catz]

If this is information that is published in such a way that may make your financial situation as a parent obvious one way or another, I think it is perfectly reasonable for a parent to help guide a young adult if sharing this type of info publicly is appropriate in their situation.  

I would expect advisors to already have the type of data in office that would be helpful for admissions advising assuming they are doing what schools typically do filing a profile, transcript, counselor letter, etc.  

[Shoeless]

Well, we homeschool so whatever...but I wouldn't do this because it's nosey and not my job to help the school's marketing department.

I bristle over the idea of a school even having a marketing strategy/department. 

And "requiring" that you hand over the letters from the school is intrusive. That mail isn't addressed to them. 

[Halftime Hope]

In the district high school that my nieces attended, out in the country, it was a big deal to name students, where they were going, and the scholarships they received. I would have thought it much nicer if they'd have only listed an anonymized list of awards received. For a C+ kid, getting a cool $1K from the local Rotary for service to the community is a big deal -- that's a lot of burger-flipping -- just as big a deal as the kid that gets a full ride for their stellar test-taking or classroom skills.

 

 

[Drama Llama]

I would share this information gladly, because I'd know that my kid benefited from the information shared by kids before him.  College counseling departments use the statistics they gain to help make predictions and to help kids craft lists that are realistic.  They look or patterns in who gets rejected or admitted, who gets what kind of aid etc . . .  Since most private schools have a small data set to begin with, and their admissions look very different from the public school admissions, having a few kids missing can really mess things up.  

Yes, they also use it for marketing, but I have never seen a school share information without a kid's permission.  I've seen schools where the norm is for kids to hang up their acceptance letter, and I guess it's up to the kids if they redact them, but I've never seen a school where staff do so.  

[Sebastian (a lady)]

6 hours ago, Wilma said:

The school my kid attends (private school, not huge) is requiring that kids turn in their acceptance/denial and scholarship information from any school they applied to.  This feels a little personal / intrusive to us, but we also haven't done it before. What do you think?

If the school uses that info to recommend colleges to students, then current students benefited from past classes sharing. 

If it's just to flash a scholarship total at an awards event, I'd encourage them to consider how false those cumulative totals are (when a student only enrolls at one institution) and how this type of comparison erodes teen mental health. 

[Sebastian (a lady)]

6 hours ago, kirstenhill said:

I voted "other" for the top question. I can totally see and would not be bothered by a school asking for acceptances and scholarships... sharing rejections feels much more personal.  

Knowing where students of a certain profile applied and were not offered admission is an important data point.

Often, students compare their stats to the released data about admitted and enrolled students and think they have great chances.

But they don't see the many similar students who were not offered admission, because colleges don't release data on the whole applicant pool or on students they didn't admit. 

[wintermom]

3 hours ago, Wilma said:

Sure, same. My kid is handling - but we're talking about it together. 

That makes good sense. . 

TBH, I think this 'ask' by the high school sounds like a potential time and emotional burdon on the student who's already got a ton on their plate. It only benefits the school doing the 'ask' and there is no benefit to the students providing the info. In the world of research and REBs, I doubt a school would get permission to ask it, and certainly not "require" it. In the real world of schools, they can ask, but they have no real authority to require it, I wouldn't think.

Just clarifying that I'm not from the US. In my country, the scholarship $ are very different, just as our university tuitions are much lower than most US colleges. My opinion is probably not all that relevant to the OP's question. 

Edited May 8, 2023 by wintermom

[wintermom]

As an aside, and potenitally fodder for a separate thread, is there similar "asks" by high schools about graduates going into apprentices in trades, entrepreneurship, or other career aspirations, or is it only college. This is a growing problem in Canada, where the push for University attendance has been so skewed, that there is a desperate shortage of tradesworkers and apprentices. It would be fantastic to see a more well-rounded promotion of career options. I could see there being a privacy issue with publishing names of people entering the military, but that's a wonderful career option as well. 

[ScoutTN]

1 hour ago, wintermom said:

As an aside, and potenitally fodder for a separate thread, is there similar "asks" by high schools about graduates going into apprentices in trades, entrepreneurship, or other career aspirations, or is it only college. This is a growing problem in Canada, where the push for University attendance has been so skewed, that there is a desperate shortage of tradesworkers and apprentices. It would be fantastic to see a more well-rounded promotion of career options. I could see there being a privacy issue with publishing names of people entering the military, but that's a wonderful career option as well. 

Ds’ public charter publishes the info for those going into trades and military, as well as those taking a gap year. 
 

This school also publishes the percentage of students who are first-generation college students.  Last year (‘22) was their first graduating class and this  was about 70%. 

Edited May 9, 2023 by ScoutTN

[wintermom]

2 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

Ds’ public charter publishes the info for those going into trades and military, as well as those taking a gap year. 

Interesting. My ds's private high school read this out at their graduation ceremony, but didn't mention military service. I kind of liked hearing about how taking a gap year was as normal as entering uni. There was no mention of scholarship $, aside from the winner of a certain scholarship promoted through the school. 

I don't know what the public high schools do, but I'll find out when my youngest graduates. At my oldest 2 homeschool students' graduation, the scholarship and uni acceptances were announced at dinner. 😉 

[Heartstrings]

18 minutes ago, wintermom said:

As an aside, and potenitally fodder for a separate thread, is there similar "asks" by high schools about graduates going into apprentices in trades, entrepreneurship, or other career aspirations, or is it only college. This is a growing problem in Canada, where the push for University attendance has been so skewed, that there is a desperate shortage of tradesworkers and apprentices. It would be fantastic to see a more well-rounded promotion of career options. I could see there being a privacy issue with publishing names of people entering the military, but that's a wonderful career option as well. 

At my public high school they would list any thing a kid reported.  Joining the military was definitely posted, we were crawling with recruiters.  An apprenticeship or cosmetology school would also be posted. 

[Drama Llama]

6 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

My girls would have been embarrassed. It would feel "braggy" to them, like publishing how much money their parents made or something. They were good students but would have felt that other kids would possibly have felt "less than" if they didn't measure up.  (At least I'm assuming that this info is for a graduation bio or some such publication.)

I have 3 graduates. Only one of my kids participated in a small homeschool graduation. Of the 10ish participants, only one mentioned the number of DE credits earned and the scholarships earned. In that context, it definitely felt braggy, and I was a bit embarrassed for the girl because she had no idea what the other students were including in their bios.

If it was kept private, it wouldn't be too horrible, but really, we've always kept that info to ourselves because it's nobody's business and in small; communities it has a way of getting around.

I have never known a school that shares this information outside of the counseling office.  It's not braggy to tell someone who helped you apply for colleges whether or not you got in, so they can continue to help students.  

Kids may also be asked if the school can share at graduation, but I can't imagine that's required.  

[ScoutTN]

I’d share acceptances, but not other info. Definitely not any financial details.

[mom2scouts]

Our local public school has a program called College, Career, or Enlistment. They ask all the seniors to supply their plans for after high school. It's like how some schools take pictures of athletes who are recruited sitting at a table signing with a college and wearing a college sweatshirt. The school decided they wanted to celebrate the plans of all graduating seniors and not just athletes, so they do something similar by showing what colleges students are going to or what job they'll be transitioning into or what branch of the military they are joining. I've even seen some where kids say they're undecided but will be using the time to ______.

[EKS]

Private schools like to publicize this information.  I’d be surprised if they didn’t want it.

[SKL]

I doubt that our public school tells everyone's plans at graduation, because that would take too long, but maybe it's written somewhere.

They do highlight things in various smaller gatherings.  For example, there is "senior night" at various sports and marching band events, where they call up each senior one by one and say something brief about their plans.  "Jenny Smith plans to attend State College and study Psychology."  This also includes kids who are going straight into a career.  Last year, I think there was only one kid who didn't have a specific plan yet.

They highlight the 10 highest GPA kids on facebook, with a brief post that includes their college plans.  I don't remember whether scholarship info was included last year.

And they do post about scholarships from time to time, particularly for kids who got their scholarship in connection with some school-sponsored activity.

My kids are juniors this year, so I will find out next year whether the school expects to know and/or tell about everyone's scholarships.

I guess if I had academically amazing kids, I'd be biased in favor of this being the norm; but since I don't, I'm biased in favor of not, because it then becomes obvious who didn't get anything iykwim.  It was one thing I hated about my kids' elementary school - they would announce every kid who got a 4.0, honor roll, or merit roll ... leaving it painfully obvious who the "low achievers" were, even in 1st grade.  I fail to see what good that accomplishes.

Edited May 9, 2023 by SKL

[DawnM]

My boys' school did this so they would be able to brag, "Our students received $5 billion in scholarships and were accepted to 897 schools" or some such thing.   I am not sure we turned all of ours in for the first child.