Things people say that rub you wrong?

[Ann.without.an.e]

I'm pretty chill and don't overthink what most people say. Rarely does something drive me crazy. That being said, there is this store that I've walked into a few times and every time I go in the guy says "What can I do for the queen today?" I don't love this. In fact, I hate it to such a degree that I just want to avoid the store and the man. This is petty, I know. Why does this rub me wrong?

Is there something that rubs you wrong too? Please share so I feel less petty lol

Edited August 27, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[Tanaqui]

You could just say "Hey, I know you don't mean anything, but for whatever reason that really bugs me. Can you just say 'hi' when you see me?"

But in the spirit of the question you actually asked, I hate hate hate the phrase "zipper up". If ever I hear it, I fume silently about Kids These Days and their stupid teachers and parents who clearly don't know how to say the objectively correct "zip up".

I actually know why I hate it, too, not that that knowledge helps me hate it less - I have motor control difficulties that make it hard to zip up jackets and coats, I couldn't consistently zip up my *own* until high school, and I only hear the phrase "zipper up" when I'm being called upon to help some small squirmy child with their coat or jacket. I can't hate the child for being unable to do this or fidgety, I can't hate jackets and zippers for existing, so instead, all that loathing gets directed at the phrase. If it were anything else, I'd be enamored at the linguistic variety, but as it is - hate hate hate!

[ericathemom]

I've got some petty for you. 😉

In our church, the previous ministry leader wrote a song that the congregation then sung frequently. It's generally a decent modern song about God's dependability. My beef with it is the lyric that goes "You haven't failed me yet." Yet! "Yet" implies that something might still happen. "I haven't gotten a raise yet." "I haven't been late to work yet." These all mean that these actions could still happen. This song spends so much time focused on the "yet" that I keep expecting to hear from the music guy about a time that God did indeed fail him. Like, God tried and all to be dependable but just couldn't. 🤷‍♀️ And! It'd be an easy fix to get rid of the "yet." 

So, I just fix it in my mind when that song comes up. But I also grumble in my heart. 😉 

[Forget-Me-Not]

Ugh, that would bother me too.  So patronizing.  I mean only "milady" might be worse.  Gag.

I hate it when people say, "Have a good rest of your day!".  It seems like all the young retail types say that to me now. Why not, "Have a good afternoon/evening?"  

I hate it when people use "sale" and "gift" as verbs. I'm trying to sale this car.  I'm going to gift this book.  No, it's SELL and GIVE.  

 

[Kassia]

@Ann.without.an.e I would hate that too - it would make me cringe just going in there.  

For some reason, I don't like when someone calls me by my first name if it's a business issue - either customer service or anything like that - in person or by email.  It just feels too personal/unprofessional/familiar for me and I like the distance of being addressed to as Ms or Mrs X instead.  But I hate being called Mrs. X by people I know (my kids' friends or SOs) because it reminds me of my MIL.  It's so common that businesses will use my first name and I don't know why it bugs me but it does.  

[alisoncooks]

“Chef’s kiss”

I hate when people actually say the phrase “chef’s kiss,” as in “That pie was chef’s kiss.”

I hate it so much. 

[Ethel Mertz]

I detest the phrases “back in the day” and “I’m a fan of ______.”

[Elizabeth86]

18 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

Ugh, that would bother me too.  So patronizing.  I mean only "milady" might be worse.  Gag.

I hate it when people say, "Have a good rest of your day!".  It seems like all the young retail types say that to me now. Why not, "Have a good afternoon/evening?"  

I hate it when people use "sale" and "gift" as verbs. I'm trying to sale this car.  I'm going to gift this book.  No, it's SELL and GIVE.  

 

I hate “have a good rest of your day” too. I first heard it on a show my little girls watch on YouTube where someone plays with Barbies 😂 and then slowly I began to hear it more and more irl.

[elegantlion]

Specifically this week, I hate when my insurance adjusters need to check on something and say on the phone "Someone should be getting back with you soon." I asked one of them last week to define "soon." My definition did not fit his definition.

[happi duck]

I think I've always said "have a good rest of your day".  Maybe it's regional?  I don't remember this not being said.

In high school I worked retail.  A fellow employee was the same age and called everyone of any age "sweetie" or "sweetheart".  My mom did not like it at all!

I know a cashier who does say "m'lady" complete with a little bow!

[Forget-Me-Not]

Oh I have another one.  "I'm the kind of person who . . . ", usually followed by a braggy statement OR a justification for a negative personality trait.  "I'm the kind of person who has to pay the bill at dinner no matter what" or "I'm the kind of person who will beat up other people if they talk smack about my friends."  Why not just say, "I'll treat tonight" or "I'll fight for my friends"? 

Edited August 26, 2022 by Forget-Me-Not

[Carrie12345]

My dentist’s office answers the phone “It’s a wonderful day at Blank Dental, this is Name. I can help you.”  
Why? There’s never been anything wrong with how can I help you that I can help you makes “better”.  Stop being weird! I don’t like it!

[stephanier.1765]

My dentist, who is probably in his 30's, calls me "my dear". My dear? WTH "How are you today, my dear?" Do you have any questions, my dear?" It's like I'm supposed to be 80 or 90 years old and I'm so far from not being that. I must be an ancient looking 57 yo. To me, it's like fingernails down a chalkboard.

[Hilltopmom]

4 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

My dentist, who is probably in his 30's, calls me "my dear". My dear? WTH "How are you today, my dear?" Do you have any questions, my dear?" It's like I'm supposed to be 80 or 90 years old and I'm so far from not being that. I must be an ancient looking 57 yo. To me, it's like fingernails down a chalkboard.

Oof.

My dentist lived next door to me when we were preschoolers. He’s a year younger than me and took over his dad’s practice awhile back. I call him by his first name- I mean, he used to play in my sand box!

I wonder if that bothers him? Everyone else calls him Dr. First name but that seems weird to me. And Dr, last name would be talking about his dad!

[wathe]

Dearie, darling, sweetheart, sweetie, honey ..... I despise them all.  From strangers.  In any professional context - both from professionals when I'm the client, and from clients when I'm the professional.  From colleagues. I'd file being called "the queen" by a shopkeeper into the same category.  Really, the only person who get a pass on this from me is DH - because from him it's a true expression of affection, rather than belittling misogyny.

[Grace Hopper]

I am bothered by people who start *every* conversation with, “Guess what?” And then pause for a reply like I have a clue what they’re going to tell about. Just make an opening statement I can respond to without feeling like I’m on a game show, please. 
 

I also dislike the nouns-into-verbs like gift and sale, and people who don’t know me well at all but use terms of endearment. The owner of the deli near my office has called me Hon, in a kinda creepy was,  the two times I’ve been in there. Yuck. 

Edited August 26, 2022 by Grace Hopper

[wathe]

2 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said:

I am bothered by people who start *every* conversation with, “Guess what?” And then pause for a reply like I have a clue what they’re going to tell about. Just make an opening statement I can respond to without feeling like I’m on a game show, please. 
 

I also dislike the nouns-into-verbs like gift and sale, and people who don’t know me well at all but use terms of endearment. The owner of the deli near my office has called me Hon, in a kinda creepy was,  the two times I’ve been in there. 

Solid bet that he doesn't call his male customers Hon.

ETA:  Also, high probability that deli owner is a he.

Edited August 26, 2022 by wathe

[Grace Hopper]

Just now, wathe said:

Solid bet that he doesn't call his male customers Hon.

You know it!

[Laura Corin]

13 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

Oh I have another one.  "I'm the kind of person who . . . ", usually followed by a braggy statement OR a justification for a negative personality trait.  

I have a colleague who talks about herself in that way, as if she's helpless to stop herself doing - sometimes stupid - things. This week she was clearing obsolete photos from a notice board and ripped up one that should have stayed in place. 

She is relatively new and was working on an incorrect assumption, which is fine - mistakes happen. But instead of saying, 'Oh, I  didn't know that,  I'll know next time,' she said, 'You know how I am - once I get the bit between my teeth, there's no stopping me.'  Which is also apparently why she ripped it up rather than just putting it in the bin.

[*****]

I am used to it now, but I hated it when I realized I was no longer referred to as 'Miss', but 'Ma'am'.  Oof, that one hurt, I realized I was for sure getting older😒

[JustEm]

I hate when I ask someone a question and their response is, 'i don't know.' It drives me crazy.  I simply don't understand how people think that is an acceptable response when dealing with an issue. It wouldn't bother me so much if it were a rare occurrence with people in my life but it is the go to response for any remotely uncomfortable conversation. Even worse is when they say nothing at all though, which is what has me in the foul mood I'm in currently.

[JustEm]

Oh! I hate how kids are instructed to call me Mrs. My first name. Just let them call me by my first name, that is my preference. 

[klmama]

12 minutes ago, ***** said:

I am used to it now, but I hated it when I realized I was no longer referred to as 'Miss', but 'Ma'am'.  Oof, that one hurt, I realized I was for sure getting older😒

I am definitely older, and I wish people would call me "Ma'am."  The younger generations here seem to think they HAVE to call everyone "Miss," even those of us wearing wedding rings who are clearly old enough to be their mother or grandmother.  My dc told they are just being polite, but it feels a little insulting to me.  It took me a long time to get here!  Show a little respect for your elders!

[Miss Tick]

12 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

I hate when I ask someone a question and their response is, 'i don't know.' It drives me crazy. 

Especially when I phrase it, "What do you think about ____?" Please don't respond I don't know, just give it 2 seconds and think about it!

 

Using Sissy as a nickname for "your sister" grates like fingernails on frost. I have no idea why.

[Laura Corin]

'Cheer up, Love. It might never happen!' Grrrrrrrr

[JustEm]

5 minutes ago, klmama said:

I am definitely older, and I wish people would call me "Ma'am."  The younger generations here seem to think they HAVE to call everyone "Miss," even those of us wearing wedding rings who are clearly old enough to be their mother or grandmother.  My dc told they are just being polite, but it feels a little insulting to me.  It took me a long time to get here!  Show a little respect for your elders!

And I'm the opposite. I hate being called ma'am. If people I know I'll see more than once call me ma'am I ask them not to.

[JustEm]

5 minutes ago, SusanC said:

Especially when I phrase it, "What do you think about ____?" Please don't respond I don't know, just give it 2 seconds and think about it!

 

Using Sissy as a nickname for "your sister" grates like fingernails on frost. I have no idea why.

Seriously! I don't mind if you need two days to think about something just tell me that. When I hear 'i don't know,' my internal dialogue is screaming at them that their brains couldn't possibly be that blank. Of course, I never say that. But my responses have been getting pretty avoidant lately. If it were an issue with one person I could deal. But it seems like many in my household use it as a go to response.

[TravelingChris]

1 hour ago, alisoncooks said:

“Chef’s kiss”

I hate when people actually say the phrase “chef’s kiss,” as in “That pie was chef’s kiss.”

I hate it so much. 

I have never heard or read this time.

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, alisoncooks said:

“Chef’s kiss”

I hate when people actually say the phrase “chef’s kiss,” as in “That pie was chef’s kiss.”

I hate it so much. 

I've never heard this before! 

 

I also hate when people start a sentence with "personally" or especially "honestly."  I expect whatever they say to be honest so no need to start your sentence that way.  And personally just seems useless if you're talking about yourself anyway.  

[Guest]

2 hours ago, ericathemom said:

I've got some petty for you. 😉

In our church, the previous ministry leader wrote a song that the congregation then sung frequently. It's generally a decent modern song about God's dependability. My beef with it is the lyric that goes "You haven't failed me yet." Yet! "Yet" implies that something might still happen. "I haven't gotten a raise yet." "I haven't been late to work yet." These all mean that these actions could still happen. This song spends so much time focused on the "yet" that I keep expecting to hear from the music guy about a time that God did indeed fail him. Like, God tried and all to be dependable but just couldn't. 🤷‍♀️ And! It'd be an easy fix to get rid of the "yet." 

So, I just fix it in my mind when that song comes up. But I also grumble in my heart. 😉 

I have a similar feeling to a country song (I think it’s by Alan Jackson) that has the lyrics, “I’ll trrrryyyyyy to love only yoooouuuuu…” and he’ll try his best to be true. Like, wut, actually??? As Yoda says, “Do or do not; there is no try.” 

[JessieC]

I dislike being called "hon" by store workers who are clearly younger than me. It feels demeaning in some way.

I also really dislike being called "mom" by pediatricians and the like. Would it be so hard to look down at the chart and learn my name? It makes me feel like this interchangeable "mom" figure and not a person.

[Guest]

This is a more generalized thing that really annoys me lately: the You-Are-Enough/Breathe, Mommy/Precious-Moments type memes. It’s so pompous. Child starting college? “Breathe, Mommy.” Struggling to cross off the whole to-do list and can’t remember when you last showered? “You are enough.” It’s so saccarine. 
 

Lately I’m finding it far better to just acknowledge that parts of life are hard, stressful, sad, deflating and confusing. Let’s just acknowledge that, strategize and try to make the stinky stuff last a shorter time than it otherwise might. 

[athena1277]

2 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:

I am bothered by people who start *every* conversation with, “Guess what?” And then pause for a reply like I have a clue what they’re going to tell about. Just make an opening statement I can respond to without feeling like I’m on a game show, please. 
 

I also dislike the nouns-into-verbs like gift and sale, and people who don’t know me well at all but use terms of endearment. The owner of the deli near my office has called me Hon, in a kinda creepy was,  the two times I’ve been in there. Yuck. 

My 19yo dd does the “guess what?” thing all the time.   Ow that she’s in college, it’s usually texted to me.  I finally started replying with “I don’t like guessing games.” 

Edited August 26, 2022 by athena1277

[kbutton]

1 hour ago, JessieC said:

I also really dislike being called "mom" by pediatricians and the like. Would it be so hard to look down at the chart and learn my name? It makes me feel like this interchangeable "mom" figure and not a person.

Me too. 

I hate it when people mess up less/fewer as in, "I want less bills to pay." My spoken grammar, especially if I am stressed or in a hurry, is not always perfect, but this is one of those things that's becoming standard English everywhere, and it grates. It's not a particularly hard grammar concept. I think it's not taught vs. something people can't grasp.

[Tanaqui]

Less vs fewer is NOT standard grammar and NEVER HAS BEEN. It was literally invented by some dude you've never heard of, Robert Baker, in the 1770s on the explicit grounds that he, personally, thought it sounded nicer. However, it has never actually been widespread, even among educated speakers when speaking carefully.

It is not a real rule. It is a silly made up zombie rule, and the less of that, the better. Up with this foolishness we must not put.

[wathe]

2 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

Less vs fewer is NOT standard grammar and NEVER HAS BEEN. It was literally invented by some dude you've never heard of, Robert Baker, in the 1770s on the explicit grounds that he, personally, thought it sounded nicer. However, it has never actually been widespread, even among educated speakers when speaking carefully.

It is not a real rule. It is a silly made up zombie rule, and the less of that, the better. Up with this foolishness we must not put.

I  think you mean the fewer of that. 

JK.  🙂

 

[Tanaqui]

You know, what really bugs me about Robert Baker - you'll note you've never heard of him, because as near as I can tell he never wrote or said anything worth remembering, and that INCLUDES his nonsensical opinion on "less and fewer", which clearly can be chalked up to a bad case of "one word, therefore one meaning" - is that he shares his name with my father.

[Ann.without.an.e]

Does anyone else hate the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” I used to be in a group of moms a decade or so ago and they loved this phrase. I think because there was already a pretentious vibe there with no vulnerability? Like I’m the perfect mom yaddy yaddy and If another mom or a kid vented an issue they’d just say “fake it til you make it”. Maybe in another context it would have a better meaning. 

Edited August 26, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[gardenmom5]

4 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I'm pretty chill and don't overthink what most people say. Rarely does something drive me crazy. That being said, there is this store that I've walked into a few time and every time I go in the guy says "What can I do for the queen today?" I don't love this. In fact, I hate it to such a degree that I just want to avoid the store and the man. This is petty, I know. Why does this rub me wrong?

Is there something that rubs you wrong too? Please share so I feel less petty lol

"you can get a sales person who isn't condescending".

I would expect he says that to all/most of the female customers.  He probably thinks he's being "charming".

I detest saleswomen (especially one's young enough to be my daughter) calling me "dear".

[lynn]

I have a few.  one from years ago, one of the salesmen in our office called me "Doll"... "Can you get these numbers for me, doll". It annoyed me I finally went to my boss about it.  I was only 20  at the time, now I would confront him myself.

The second that comes to mind is people adding " and.....go" when they ask for suggestion online, not in person.  "What's your favorite running shoes?  and.....go.  

Edited August 26, 2022 by lynn

[Indigo Blue]

I posted recently on a similar thread….I don’t like man cave or she shed.

I don’t know why. 🤷‍♀️

 

[MercyA]

I love it when people (strangers or not, women or men) use terms of endearment. It doesn't bother me. Most are just trying to be extra friendly / pleasant.

I use them, too. 😬  

[chocolate-chip chooky]

1 hour ago, Tanaqui said:

Up with this foolishness we must not put.

Definitely adding this to my lexicon 👍

[MercyA]

I don't like the phrase "redemptive purpose" used in religious conversations (as in, "Telling Mrs. Smith that information had no redemptive purpose.") Just say there was no reason, or no good reason, or no purpose for doing the thing. 🙂  

I don't know why it bugs me. 

[Clarita]

I don't like strangers calling me mama, but I'm starting to think it means something different than mother because it seems hispanic people will call my daughter little mama and obviously she doesn't have kids. I hate being called "hun, sweetie..." I'd probably give my dirtiest look to someone who calls me Queen. 

I also dislike when people describe people as authentic. Hmm... I'm pretty sure that person is truly human. Do you mean they are honest/dishonest, open, communicative, blunt or are we actually suspicious that aliens are living among us like in Men in Black?  

[Indigo Blue]

27 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I posted recently on a similar thread….I don’t like man cave or she shed.

I don’t know why. 🤷‍♀️

 

Although….I do think that she shed commercial was pretty funny.

[teachermom2834]

Everytime we have one of these threads I find things I must stop doing so I don't annoy nice people like my imaginary friends.

Wait...does calling our online community "imaginary friends" set someone off? 

[JustEm]

22 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Everytime we have one of these threads I find things I must stop doing so I don't annoy nice people like my imaginary friends.

Wait...does calling our online community "imaginary friends" set someone off? 

I sure hope not! I call the people from here that I've met in person my 'real imaginary friends.' The rest of you are just my plain old 'imaginary friends.'

[Indigo Blue]

Oh, I remember now. In that other thread, I was ranting about all the grammar things…..😁
 

And my son misspelled hyperboloid. The audacity. 

[stephanier.1765]

1 hour ago, lynn said:

The second that comes to mind is people adding " and.....go" when they ask for suggestion online, not in person.  "What's your favorite running shoes?  and.....go.  

Ugh, me too! As if, we just can't wait to fulfill all your little desires. It feels condescending to me.