My kid never stops talking..JAWM

[Hilltopmom]

My 7 year old never stops talking, or making sounds, or repeating himself over and over… It’s driving me crazy. We are doing a ton of driving this summer for activities and I feel trapped in the car with the noise.

I know the issue is ADHD and probably a bit gifted. He’s sweet and funny & very bright/ has great questions and comments- but I’m losing my mind. He’s not medicated right now- we tried last year and it actually made the talking worse.

I need a break. Today on the way across town I asked him to just stop making noise for a few minutes. He lasted 9 seconds (I counted) before he started with sounds whispered then went back to regular volume talking. Ahhhhh…

And, let’s make this a JAWM.

[City Mouse]

I remember those days, Sometimes I used to tell my DD that my ears needed a break and she had to stop talking for 5 minutes. She would bounce around (seat belted)in the back seat watching the clock for her 5 minutes to be up.

[Laura Corin]

Fwiw my son - ADD - needed conversation rules. The basic one was - If the person you are talking to says 'uh-huh' or similar more than twice in a row,  it's time to ask them a question and give them time to talk or be silent. 

[Elizabeth86]

I’ll just agree with you that it is tough dealing with annoying behavior. However my oldest son and I never stop talking or making noise so yeah lol. I don’t about him, but it’s an anxiety thing for me. If I’m talking it’s more carefree than thinking.

[thewellerman]

I have a 7yo boy with the same description, and I am also very tired.  Using my free time to think up more things for him to think about is only slightly less exhausting, but feeding his brain does buy a moment's peace now and then.  Does he have siblings?  I also assign my kids to do things with him throughout the day.  If I have to wait at their activity, they can play a game with him on the way.  Even better if I can think of something for them to teach him, like how to tie a knot or a card trick. Then he will keep working on it for a while.

I'm also not above passing out snacks and cranking up the volume on the radio.  Full mouths are quieter, and the music drowns it all out for a short time.  And if I'm really done?  I'll download a movie on my kindle fire and give it to him with earbuds.  I'm not fan of a lot of screentime, but sometimes we just need a break. 

[MEmama]

Yup, mine is 19 and once he starts talking about his special interests, he can talk non stop for hours. There’s not much awareness when the recipient to his knowledge invariably loses interest. 
 

Sending you commiseration.

22 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

Fwiw my son - ADD - needed conversation rules. The basic one was - If the person you are talking to says 'uh-huh' or similar more than twice in a row,  it's time to ask them a question and give them time to talk or be silent. 

I wish I’d thought of rules like this when DS was young!

[Pawz4me]

When my oldest, who is totally NT but definitely somewhere in the gifted range, was around 3 or 4 (he's now 26) one of his grandfathers asked him "If I give you five dollars can you be quiet for five minutes?" And DS immediately said "no" and kept on with whatever he'd been talking about. And yeah, he's still a big talker/very social.

[Lady Florida.]

45 minutes ago, Hilltopmom said:

My 7 year old never stops talking, or making sounds, or repeating himself over and over… It’s driving me crazy. We are doing a ton of driving this summer for activities and I feel trapped in the car with the noise.

I know the issue is ADHD and probably a bit gifted. He’s sweet and funny & very bright/ has great questions and comments- but I’m losing my mind. He’s not medicated right now- we tried last year and it actually made the talking worse.

I need a break. Today on the way across town I asked him to just stop making noise for a few minutes. He lasted 9 seconds (I counted) before he started with sounds whispered then went back to regular volume talking. Ahhhhh…

And, let’s make this a JAWM.

Oh yes, I remember those days. Ds now 24 has ADHD and talked nonstop especially around that age. Sometimes you just need time to take a breath. It's hard. He's able to control it now but if he gets started on a topic that interests him he can just talk and talk,  Hyperfocus is still a thing when people with ADHD reach adulthood.

Our newly minted 8yo grandson (b-day was last Wed.) is suspected of having ADHD. He has a doctor's appointment Thursday for dss and ddil to discuss a possible evaluation. His brother is two years older and 8yo was late talking. Sometimes we worried and wondered if he might need speech therapy. Sometimes we all decided it's because he has an older sibling who speaks for him. At his birthday party we laughed and said things like, "Remember when we were worried because O wasn't talking?" Yeah. He never stops talking now. 

39 minutes ago, City Mouse said:

I remember those days, Sometimes I used to tell my DD that my ears needed a break and she had to stop talking for 5 minutes. She would bounce around (seat belted)in the back seat watching the clock for her 5 minutes to be up.

Yep. I would sometimes ask ds to be quiet for 5 minutes. Sometimes I even went down to 2 minutes. It was glaringly obvious how painful it was for him to comply. 

3 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

When my oldest, who is totally NT but definitely somewhere in the gifted range, was around 3 or 4 (he's now 26) one of his grandfathers asked him "If I give you five dollars can you be quiet for five minutes?" And DS immediately said "no" and kept on with whatever he'd been talking about. And yeah, he's still a big talker/very social.

I had to laugh at this. I love how honest kids can be. 😂

[teachermom2834]

My youngest two kids (who are now 19 yo ds and 14 yo dd) were this way. The 19 yo also was very physically “loud”. Bouncing off the walls like a ball in a pinball machine. I don’t know if he had ADHD. I guess I never had the bandwidth to investigate or didn’t know enough to get it checked out but he was clearly very smart and very obnoxious. He drove me nuts but I tried not to let him drive the rest of society nuts to the best of my ability. I had to remove him from some classes, etc. Now he is just a normal very driven type A hyper organized and successful college student with big things ahead. 
 

My 14 yo dd has settled down too. She is just very academically driven and really outgoing and intellectually and socially curious. She is a ton of fun. 
 

Both these kids will still come climb in my bed when I am falling asleep at night and have a hundred things to tell me that are totally random and unimportant (MLB players that just got traded, how many points someone scored in an NBA game, a new treat dd wants to try to bake for her dog, etc). 
 

Dd did a lot of volunteering with little kids this summer so she had some kids like this. I reminded her that she and her brother were like this and some of these kids just have alot going on inside them and need some growing up before it can all fit together just right. (Of course some of them will never outgrow it but I prefer not to think of those!)

[katilac]

7 is also in the midst of prime time for nonstop talking. 

I used to say that, in the morning, my dds had their mouths open before their feet touched the ground. 

The rule I had about going outside at least twice a day was not just for their health. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

I’m sorry that you can’t get some peace. 
 

I keep seeing this thread and want to instinctively respond with …. 

“gosh @Hilltopmomyour kiddo never stops talking. Just won’t shut up.” Since you said to agree with you 🤣🤣🤣. Not sure that’s what you’re looking for 😬

[alisoncooks]

Oh boy. Lucky for me, my girls would play The Quiet Game in the car, lol. (They were more competitive than chatty, apparently!)

[TravelingChris]

1 hour ago, MEmama said:

Yup, mine is 19 and once he starts talking about his special interests, he can talk non stop for hours. There’s not much awareness when the recipient to his knowledge invariably loses interest. 
 

Sending you commiseration.

I wish I’d thought of rules like this when DS was young!

Same here.  Dd2 is the most talkative one.  But since all three have ADHD as do I and dh and dsil1 and dgd2, I never thought of such a rule.

[DawnM]

Our 4 year old has severe ADHD, with severe being the hyperactive part, and he is SO LOUD!   He talks and makes noises constantly.   And they are LOUD noises.   He does drive me nuts with it.   I feel your pain.

[wintermom]

Definietly enough to stretch the patience of any mom. For those long car trips, we totally used electronics for our own survival; dc would watch DVD's in the car, but any device of choice that works is helpful. 😉

The noises my youngest ds, about 3-4 at the time, made for many months was a monotone whistling. The monotony of it was worse than it being whistling. My ds18 whistles tunes all the time, and this is much better! I usually end up humming along with the whistling now. 

[regentrude]

What about using audio books in the car? 

[Ailaena]

I know I’ve said this before, but I always feel like I’m alone and then somebody here posts something that I could have written!

Hugs for all of us 🙂

[HS Mom in NC]

Do you explicitly tell him to stop talking? You should. My oldest was prone to talking non-stop, so I had to tell her (so people didn't end up resenting her) in a pleasant tone, "OK, you've been talking for about 15 minutes non-stop, so it's time to be quiet for a while now." or "That's nice.  Now it's time to give your sister/friend/parent a turn to talk. Remember, you're not the only one with something to say." or "Did you ask (name of person doing the listening) what they thought of that topic and listen to them talk too?" None of these are unkind-quite the opposite.  It's kind to teach children how to be in the world well. It's likely going to be a long term thing for kids wired this way.

Some kids need to be told principles of communication explicitly because they're unable to intuit them:  

1. Talking is demanding someone else's attention.  That's fine for you to do it for a while off and on, but it's not OK to demand someone else' attention all the time or most of the time.
2. Other people have things to say too.   When you talk non-stop you're not giving others a turn.
3. Other people enjoy periods of silence.  You can't deny them that all the time.
4. Conversations go back and forth.  Long monologue after long monologue is NOT a  conversation. Pauses are necessary to allow the listener to respond to what was said before the conversation goes in a related or different direction. It's really awkward to revisit a topic at the beginning of someone else's monologue that went in multiple directions. 
5. Your thoughts are valid even if no one else hears them.  You can learn to turn that constant external monologue into an internal monologue (an essential skill set when living around other people)  or you can learn to process verbally alone where others are not being denied silence or their turn to talk. 

Put hyper-individualistic, small sibling set culture is failing more and more children on this.  I'm astonished at how many adults lack the awareness above.  And I'm talking about neuro-typical people.

[Frances]

Three things that really helped my very verbal, very talkative son at that age.

In the car, he learned that sometimes I needed him to be quiet so I could concentrate and drive safely. I only used this as needed, so he always respected it.

Audibooks, so so so many audiobooks.

Karate. My only goal when signing him up for traditional Japanese karate was that he be able to not talk unless directly spoken to for the full class. He quickly did that and it went on to become a huge part of his life.

[Katy]

Earplugs. Tell him you’re doing it because you’re overstimulated and he’s not good at being quiet yet. Then use them without apology. If it’s actually important or an emergency he may tap you, but otherwise you need silence. 

[sweet2ndchance]

My non-stop talker is also very competitive. So we play the quiet game. Everyone has to be completely silent and the first one to talk loses, lol. He loves being able to say he's king of the quiet game. Even if it only lasts 5 minutes (or even seconds) sometimes. 😛

 

[Hilltopmom]

48 minutes ago, regentrude said:

What about using audio books in the car? 

Yes we do on long trips but not all the back and forth across town (dropping kids off and picking up from work, etc).

[Hilltopmom]

33 minutes ago, HS Mom in NC said:

Do you explicitly tell him to stop talking? You should. My oldest was prone to talking non-stop, so I had to tell her (so people didn't end up resenting her) in a pleasant tone, "OK, you've been talking for about 15 minutes non-stop, so it's time to be quiet for a while now." or "That's nice.  Now it's time to give your sister/friend/parent a turn to talk. Remember, you're not the only one with something to say." or "Did you ask (name of person doing the listening) what they thought of that topic and listen to them talk too?" None of these are unkind-quite the opposite.  It's kind to teach children how to be in the world well. It's likely going to be a long term thing for kids wired this way.

Some kids need to be told principles of communication explicitly because they're unable to intuit them:  

1. Talking is demanding someone else's attention.  That's fine for you to do it for a while off and on, but it's not OK to demand someone else' attention all the time or most of the time.
2. Other people have things to say too.   When you talk non-stop you're not giving others a turn.
3. Other people enjoy periods of silence.  You can't deny them that all the time.
4. Conversations go back and forth.  Long monologue after long monologue is NOT a  conversation. Pauses are necessary to allow the listener to respond to what was said before the conversation goes in a related or different direction. It's really awkward to revisit a topic at the beginning of someone else's monologue that went in multiple directions. 
5. Your thoughts are valid even if no one else hears them.  You can learn to turn that constant external monologue into an internal monologue (an essential skill set when living around other people)  or you can learn to process verbally alone where others are not being denied silence or their turn to talk. 

Put hyper-individualistic, small sibling set culture is failing more and more children on this.  I'm astonished at how many adults lack the awareness above.  And I'm talking about neuro-typical people.

Yes, I do all that. I’m a special Ed teacher so coaching conversation and social skills is something I’m used to.

He cannot seem to control it.

I’ll say stop talking and he refrains for a few seconds but then says whatever pops into his  head and repeats that over and over sort of to himself but out loud or turns to making sounds (which I’ve tried to explain is just.like.talking).

[regentrude]

10 minutes ago, Hilltopmom said:

Yes we do on long trips but not all the back and forth across town (dropping kids off and picking up from work, etc).

for your sanity, maybe give him a device with headphones even on short drives?

Will he also talk when the audiobook is on the speaker? Can you tune out the audiobook better than his chatter?

[Clarita]

My NT 4 year old has been like this since she knew how to talk. Bummer I thought she would grow out of this once she learned how to do an internal dialogue instead of always external.

Sometimes I just ask her to be quiet (sometimes I have to tolerate her just speaking softly and not expecting a response). She has a quiet time everyday (she still talks in her room but the door is closed).  Sometimes I send her to the yard to talk to nature...

[Kanin]

2 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

Oh yes, I remember those days. Ds now 24 has ADHD and talked nonstop especially around that age. Sometimes you just need time to take a breath. It's hard. He's able to control it now but if he gets started on a topic that interests him he can just talk and talk,  Hyperfocus is still a thing when people with ADHD reach adulthood.

 

I'm just learning that ADHD hyperfocus can include talking about special interests. My DH does this ALL the time. He also doesn't notice when other people are done with the topic, and gets offended if people don't want to listen. 

[Kanin]

5 minutes ago, Clarita said:

Sometimes I send her to the yard to talk to nature...

Love this!

My mom would send me in the yard with a bucket to catch falling leaves. It did keep me busy for a while!

[Terabith]

I remember being about 7 and having a revelation that I could have thoughts inside my head without saying them out loud.  Up until that point, I honestly didn't know how to think without talking.  

[MEmama]

22 minutes ago, Kanin said:

I'm just learning that ADHD hyperfocus can include talking about special interests. My DH does this ALL the time. He also doesn't notice when other people are done with the topic, and gets offended if people don't want to listen. 

I think DS *literally* talked non stop for 8+ years about his special interest (cars). Then he became a teenager who hid away in his room so we saw him less, but when he emerges it’s still the same (except currently it’s airplanes and airports). Astrophysics made an appearance for a few years too—now that was an especially difficult topic to follow, lol.

Hyperfocus is mostly an superpower, but yeah, it sure demands a lot of energy from unsuspecting bystanders. 

[Hilltopmom]

He’s also going through an “I’m scared” phase, so he won’t go out in the backyard or down to the playroom alone. 😭 I did get him going up to his room for legos and quiet time every afternoon this summer now that I separated them to different bedrooms. I can hear him narrating up there, lol.

His sister does play with him but is ASD and has her own issues with things. 

[Drama Llama]

7 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Oh boy. Lucky for me, my girls would play The Quiet Game in the car, lol. (They were more competitive than chatty, apparently!)

When my chatterbox was about 7, my then 10 year old convinced his brother that winning at the quiet game was like winning the Superbowl, and that breaking the rules of "jinx" was equivalent to a mortal sin.  This actually was really helpful because it gave him opportunities to stretch his muscles without me nagging, and because it gave me a sense of what was actually reasonable to ask of him ,which wasn't very long in the beginning.  

5 hours ago, regentrude said:

for your sanity, maybe give him a device with headphones even on short drives?

Will he also talk when the audiobook is on the speaker? Can you tune out the audiobook better than his chatter?

Audiobooks worked in that at least we were having a new conversation about a new topic, so it was less painful, but it also made him louder since he wanted to be heard.  My kid isn't as much of a noise maker as some, but in my experience as a special educator if you have a kid who makes noises because of happy overflow, putting headphones on them often makes them louder because they aren't getting that feedback.  Some kids who stim for other reasons do get quieter with headphones.  It's worth trying!

A few things that have helped either in my family or at work.

1) Moving my kid to the back row of the mini van, didn't stop the talking, but it made it easier for me.

2) Singing in the car was less annoying sometimes than listening to the talking

3) One of the things that I see is that kids who are super impulsive in this way, or really any way, often aren't aware of what they're doing in the moment.  Have you ever said "I need you to stop talking." and he's said "I'm not talking?" At least for my kids and my students they usually want to please me, but they can't figure out how to do it because they don't really have the awareness of when they're talking. and when they aren't.  One thing that helped with that, was watching a movie or a show and stopping whenever they started talking.  I never made it a punishment (although of course behaviorally it's a punishment) I just acted like I really wanted to hear what they said so I was pausing the video.  Once my kid got the awareness of when he was doing it, I could make little challenges like "Wow, I'd love to see that scene beginning to end, can we turn off our voices for a minute.

4) Age.  I really think there's a reason why so many cultures see 7 - 8 as this transition to a new level of reason.  I also think that often times when my kid is approaching a new developmental stage, and ready to take a leap (like becoming aware when they're talking too much, or being able to do some of that talking in their heads) that's when I start feeling my own annoyance.  It's like nature gives me this little nudge of "he's ready for you to challenge him to be a little quieter".  Note the "a little" part, because my 12 year old still talks way more than his brother did at 12.  

Edited August 2, 2022 by Baseballandhockey
grammar

[Lady Florida.]

2 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:

Do you explicitly tell him to stop talking? You should. My oldest was prone to talking non-stop, so I had to tell her (so people didn't end up resenting her) in a pleasant tone, "OK, you've been talking for about 15 minutes non-stop, so it's time to be quiet for a while now." or "That's nice.  Now it's time to give your sister/friend/parent a turn to talk. Remember, you're not the only one with something to say." or "Did you ask (name of person doing the listening) what they thought of that topic and listen to them talk too?" None of these are unkind-quite the opposite.  It's kind to teach children how to be in the world well. It's likely going to be a long term thing for kids wired this way.

Some kids need to be told principles of communication explicitly because they're unable to intuit them:  

1. Talking is demanding someone else's attention.  That's fine for you to do it for a while off and on, but it's not OK to demand someone else' attention all the time or most of the time.
2. Other people have things to say too.   When you talk non-stop you're not giving others a turn.
3. Other people enjoy periods of silence.  You can't deny them that all the time.
4. Conversations go back and forth.  Long monologue after long monologue is NOT a  conversation. Pauses are necessary to allow the listener to respond to what was said before the conversation goes in a related or different direction. It's really awkward to revisit a topic at the beginning of someone else's monologue that went in multiple directions. 
5. Your thoughts are valid even if no one else hears them.  You can learn to turn that constant external monologue into an internal monologue (an essential skill set when living around other people)  or you can learn to process verbally alone where others are not being denied silence or their turn to talk. 

Put hyper-individualistic, small sibling set culture is failing more and more children on this.  I'm astonished at how many adults lack the awareness above.  And I'm talking about neuro-typical people.

This is all a great way of teaching neuro typical kids but doesn't always work on kids with ADHD. Of course they need to be taught these things but sometimes they literally cannot. stop. themselves. from talking.

When ds was little and a talking tornado people used to tell me he needed to be outside more. Let him work on a farm. Have him run. Tire him out. This has practically the opposite effect on kids with ADHD and just winds them up. Even if you do manage to tire their bodies their brains are still in overdrive.

What I'm trying to say is something that makes sense for teaching NT kids very likely might not work for those who aren't NT. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Bambam]

I'm so sorry. That would drive me nuts. I need quiet time. 

When my kids were younger, they talked a lot but nothing like that. We lived in a large metroplex with lots of traffic, so sometimes in the car in a very traffic congested place, I would tell them my ears were full up with words, and they had to be quiet for a while so I could concentrate on traffic. They did pretty good. 

They are now both adults (21 & 24). They still talk about me telling them this and how funny they thought that was. But they both drive now, so they also finally understand what I meant! 

[skimomma]

3 hours ago, wintermom said:

 

The noises my youngest ds, about 3-4 at the time, made for many months was a monotone whistling. The monotony of it was worse than it being whistling. 

My otherwise-not-a-big-talker dd did this too!  I taught her how to whistle around age 4 and quickly regretted it.  Dh has misophomia that is badly trigger by whistling in general.  Not a good combo!  The monotone nature of it sent him straight to code red.  Dd would stop when asked but had no idea she was doing it, so it happened again and again.  She is an adult now and STILL does it but it does have more of a tune.  I completely tune it out (along with the neighbor's dog).  Luckily dd will still stop when asked (and also does not live here) but the dog, not so much.  

I know this is a JAWM thread, but I do have a suggestion.  Have him tell elaborate stories to Zoom on record so he can listen/watch the recording.  At the very least, it will give you a break when he is off doing it and give him an "audience" for awhile but it also might make him more self-aware of what others are dealing with.  Maybe.

[Garga]

My oldest was like this! He also could last only seconds. I used to think that if we were in WWII hiding in a closet from the nazis, or in the cold war hiding from the KGB, we’d be caught for sure, because he couldn’t stop making noise. 

He’s 19 now and is the quietest one in the house! Go figure.

[Drama Llama]

2 hours ago, Garga said:

My oldest was like this! He also could last only seconds. I used to think that if we were in WWII hiding in a closet from the nazis, or in the cold war hiding from the KGB, we’d be caught for sure, because he couldn’t stop making noise. 

He’s 19 now and is the quietest one in the house! Go figure.

In 2022 teachers worry that they'll be hiding in a closet from a school shooter.

I kept marshmallows in my classroom, not very allergenic, lots of sensory input, and if you put enough in your mouth it's hard to talk!  

Probably just stuffing him full of marshmallows 24/7 isn't the answer here.  

[Starr]

I tried the five minute voice rest in the car. I doubt we ever made it. 

[Lecka]

I’m actually not a great driver and have to pull over if I get stressed out.  By the time they were 5 or 6 they would be quiet if I asked them because of getting stressed out.

 

I also used to do kid music.  We had a Kidz Bop, a soundtrack to Phineas and Ferb, and a Christmas choir cd that we all liked, that we listened to while driving, sometimes.  
 

My kids were less talkers and more just kids who might be rowdy in the car sometimes.  Sometimes I did stop in a safe place and get out of the mini-van and let my kids unbuckle for a break.

 

Bottom line, at this point they do know I am going to stop at a certain point and they don’t like that, so they will be quiet 99% of the time if I say I am getting stressed out.

 

But I don’t think it’s an amazing system, I think it’s not as nice for my kids.

 

But it is reality for me to drive safely.  I just can’t afford to get distracted while I am driving.  I need to be at 100%  in order to drive 75% or 80% as well as people who are good drivers.  
 

Edit:  it’s rare I would need actual silence.  But “not rowdy” and not wanting a response from me can both be necessary for me to be able to focus on driving as is appropriate.  

Edited August 3, 2022 by Lecka

[katilac]

On 8/2/2022 at 10:37 AM, Hilltopmom said:

Yes we do on long trips but not all the back and forth across town (dropping kids off and picking up from work, etc).

We did more episodic things like Greek myths for those shorter trips. 

[Guest]

On 8/2/2022 at 11:04 AM, HS Mom in NC said:

Do you explicitly tell him to stop talking? You should. My oldest was prone to talking non-stop, so I had to tell her (so people didn't end up resenting her) in a pleasant tone, "OK, you've been talking for about 15 minutes non-stop, so it's time to be quiet for a while now." or "That's nice.  Now it's time to give your sister/friend/parent a turn to talk. Remember, you're not the only one with something to say." or "Did you ask (name of person doing the listening) what they thought of that topic and listen to them talk too?" None of these are unkind-quite the opposite.  It's kind to teach children how to be in the world well. It's likely going to be a long term thing for kids wired this way.

Some kids need to be told principles of communication explicitly because they're unable to intuit them:  

1. Talking is demanding someone else's attention.  That's fine for you to do it for a while off and on, but it's not OK to demand someone else' attention all the time or most of the time.
2. Other people have things to say too.   When you talk non-stop you're not giving others a turn.
3. Other people enjoy periods of silence.  You can't deny them that all the time.
4. Conversations go back and forth.  Long monologue after long monologue is NOT a  conversation. Pauses are necessary to allow the listener to respond to what was said before the conversation goes in a related or different direction. It's really awkward to revisit a topic at the beginning of someone else's monologue that went in multiple directions. 
5. Your thoughts are valid even if no one else hears them.  You can learn to turn that constant external monologue into an internal monologue (an essential skill set when living around other people)  or you can learn to process verbally alone where others are not being denied silence or their turn to talk. 

Put hyper-individualistic, small sibling set culture is failing more and more children on this.  I'm astonished at how many adults lack the awareness above.  And I'm talking about neuro-typical people.

I think this is an important set of skills that many people - children and adults - *could* learn but haven’t. In some cases I think it is because, in the cultural shift from seen-and-not-heard thinking to much more attentive parenting, some parents have habitually allowed the child/children to dominate the focus of attention all the time. Some people really are just never learning that conversation has skills associated with it. 
 

I do know and witness that anxiety and ADHD can drive many people (young and old) to talk incessantly. 

[sassenach]

This is bringing me back. I used to play the "quiet game" in the car with my older kids. Whoever stayed quiet the longest won. The youngest came along and I tried it with her, she was quiet for 3 seconds and then said, "I lost!" and that was the end of the quiet game.