gardenmom5 Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 again, dudeling is refusing school. he has a dr. appointment this afternoon. they're a regular 'therapy' type appointment that is more "energy" work than anything else, so he just has to lay there on the table. he is in a good mood when we're done - he's mad because of the time it takes away from him playing on computer/away from home. he'd be a hermit if he could. (even when we go do something "fun" as a family - he wants to stay home. If I manage to drag him with us - he will sit in the hotel room and refuse to leave.) this kid makes me feel like an abject failure with everything I have tried - and I've tried a lot over the years. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (hugs) parenting is hard, and some kids are even harder than others 😞 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 ((((((HUGS)))))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Many hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimberly in IN Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Many hugs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 1, 2019 Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 6 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said: Awe, hugs 😞. It’s not you. I know that’s not a big comfort, but you’re trying your best and there is only so far you can drag another individual if they aren’t able to refuse to comply. I know he has a lot of complexity going on with his avoidance behaviors and that’s hard for trained professionals to manage, let alone mom. I've decided - I need to pick my battles. we've been arguing this back-and-forth since june. and if the choice is between him doing school and going to these dr. appointments, I'll pick school. he is going without fighting (though if he starts fighting me, all bets are off.), so I'll let him have his need for control. hopefully - at some point, he'll be ready. He needs braces - but I've had to explain to the dentist - he won't do it. (my niece picked all the braces off of her teeth - so my sister gave up. she has turned out well, much to my sister's surprise.) there just comes a point, where they have to be invested. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (((gardenmom5))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Hugs to you, gardenmom5! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 ((((a million hugs))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 I’ve had a tiny taste of what you’re experiencing. You get a GIANT hug from me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 ((( Kristen ))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 sending hugs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Are you allowed to eat brownies? Sounds like it might take more than one pan... Don't get discouraged. Sometimes things look REALLY DARK and then you turn a corner and boom there's a new answer. And sometimes you just run into the corner. But maybe if you eat the pan of brownies, it won't hurt as much. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Sending lots of hugs, Kristen! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 ((great big hugs)) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kfamily Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 🤗 Sending lots of hugs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (((Hugs!))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (((hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teaching3bears Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (Hugs)!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Hugs! Does your son have anxiety? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 BTDT. I'm so sorry. As for the braces, if it helps our pediatric dentist said that NOT gettin braces for my oldest (who has similar issues) was the right call. She sees so many kids whose parents force it and they are not invested, don't take care of them, and their teeth literally rot out behind the braces. Better to wait and do it when they are adults and will care for them properly. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Hugs. I get it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Lots of hugs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (((hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 1, 2019 Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 we do pizza on Tuesdays - maybe I"ll make cookies. while chocolate chip is tempting, something (uber picky) dudeling doesn't like is more tempting..... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 ((hugs)) Teens are hard and some teens are really hard. You are not a failure. He makes his own choices and they are not a result of what you did or didn't do. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Hugs! Make yourself cookies that YOU like.......enjoy! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jentrovert Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 ((((Hugs)))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 I found this book interesting... it can be as hard to get eating compliance as school compliance ... but each little bit can help The UltraMind Solution: The Simple Way to Defeat Depression, Overcome Anxiety, and Sharpen Your Mind https://www.amazon.com/dp/1416549722/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_TF.KDbBP82R55 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachGal Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 Hugs to you, gardenmom. ((())) You are not a failure by any means. It can be really tough to deal with teens sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 (edited) Many, many hugs to you. Edited October 2, 2019 by sbgrace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Share Posted October 2, 2019 I normally pick up a pizza on Tuesday as a treat. I just wasn't up to it. so, 2ds came home from work, and I let him know I'd pay him if he picked it up. He then came and said "order the pizza (so we can just pick it up, no waiting), I'm going to the grocery store". he brought me home maple creme oreos. (not as good as maple leaf, but I'll take them. and dudeling won't eat them. ha!). I don't think he even realized how stressful dudeling has been being - or maybe he does. He takes him to "game night" with his friends (adults, single and married with kids) on Saturday nights. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 Many hugs!!!! ❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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