Cranky Person Post

[Lang Syne Boardie]

When people post in threads, "I have not read the replies, but..." and you just KNOW they are going to say something that has already been addressed (multiple times in long threads), and of COURSE they do...

does that make you feel a little stabby? 

It would really just make my Monday if this thread goes really long, just so somebody can say, "I haven't read the replies, but here's what's bothering ME."

[JustEm]

Look, I haven't even read your post yet, but just wanted to say I hope whatever is making you cranky gets better soon.?

[SKL]

I assume the OP is doing a sort of survey and would still be interested to know my opinion even though I might be agreeing with other people who already posted.

Or, there is always the possibility that I am such a genius that I have a unique idea, even though I don't have time to confirm its uniqueness by reading a hundred previous posts ....  ?

So no, I don't get annoyed.  If nothing else, a comment like that bumps the thread for more new ideas. ?

[Pawz4me]

20 minutes ago, Tibbie Dunbar said:

When people post in threads, "I have not read the replies, but..." and you just KNOW they are going to say something that has already been addressed (multiple times in long threads), and of COURSE they do...

does that make you feel a little stabby? 

It would really just make my Monday if this thread goes really long, just so somebody can say, "I haven't read the replies, but here's what's bothering ME."

No.

Life is way too short to get all stabby feeling over something like that. Or maybe I'm just emotionally lazy. 

Edited October 15, 2018 by Pawz4me
Too, not to. Sigh.

[PrincessMommy]

I don't get annoyed but I can see how other people might.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

It does annoy me. Especially if an issue was explained (often multiple times) earlier in the thread. It doesn’t bother me on threads that are simply people’s opinions. But on threads that are factually based it does bother me when someone doesn’t bother to do their homework by either reading the thread or at least doing a bit of googling. (I am not talking about someone who has a “legitimate “ disagreement because of course there can be legitimately different interpretations of facts. ). 

[happi duck]

My favorite is when I'm the first or second reply "It's xyz".  And then downthread someone says "it's xyz" and everyone is quoting them "wow! You're right!"  It makes me paranoid that I'm on a lot of ignore lists!!!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

4 minutes ago, happi duck said:

My favorite is when I'm the first or second reply "It's xyz".  And then downthread someone says "it's xyz" and everyone is quoting them "wow! You're right!"  It makes me paranoid that I'm on a lot of ignore lists!!!

Yes! Or somebody's got this profound insight (or three people have it) but it's the fourth person saying it who gets all the quotes and likes. LOL 

[KathyBC]

I confess to doing that a couple of times because I wanted to offer my opinion before it had been influenced by other posters. Then I went back and got caught up, and edited my post if necessary.

But I hear you. I've read posts that bring up something that has already been addressed and it does make me roll my eyes and grit my teeth. Maybe not quite stabby, surprisingly, since I can get pretty irritable pretty easily, lol.

Edited October 15, 2018 by KathyBC

[freesia]

It doesn't bother me, but I do understand how it could annoy you.  I've done it, but only when it's an opinion question and I've run out of computer time to read 3 pages.  Now that I know it bugs folks, I'll try not to.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

1 minute ago, freesia said:

It doesn't bother me, but I do understand how it could annoy you.  I've done it, but only when it's an opinion question and I've run out of computer time to read 3 pages.  Now that I know it bugs folks, I'll try not to.

 

That is nice of you to say! ?

I think Jean is right that it's not the opinions and surveys that bother people; it's when something has been asked and answered a lot of times. As in, "I didn't read the thread, but why don't you sell the dog and enroll ds in school?" or "Why don't you just move?" or "You should XYZ," when all of that has been brought up and explained. 

[forty-two]

On long threads, I try to read the first page and the last page (or at least the OP plus the first few replies and the last page), so that I know where the discussion currently is before replying.  It doesn't really make me stabby when people  obviously didn't spot check where the thread is currently before posting, but I do raise my eyebrows some.  It's kind of hard to say something pertinent or new to the discussion when you have no idea what the discussion is, kwim?  I think it's most egregious when it comes to controversial threads, and the "didn't bother to read the thread" poster is rehashing an already discussed-to-death point that was settled or mercifully dropped pages ago.

[klmama]

If I don't have time to read the whole thread, I try to at least read all of the OP's posts, since that's where clarifying info comes to light.  

[purpleowl]

My favorite is when I'm the first or second reply "It's xyz".  And then downthread someone says "it's xyz" and everyone is quoting them "wow! You're right!"  It makes me paranoid that I'm on a lot of ignore lists!!!

 

(Now to see if people quote and agree with me...)

[Pen]

No. Does not bother me. I’d rather have duplicated ideas than not get someone’s good idea. 

[Ausmumof3]

I do it occasionally though I do try to avoid because it can be annoying.  It’s only if I have some information that seems important to add/share and don’t have time to read the whole thing right then because the thread has taken on a life of its own. 

[Pen]

1 hour ago, happi duck said:

My favorite is when I'm the first or second reply "It's xyz".  And then downthread someone says "it's xyz" and everyone is quoting them "wow! You're right!"  It makes me paranoid that I'm on a lot of ignore lists!!!

 

I have noticed that happening a lot. I wonder why?  It also happens irl meetings.  

[wendyroo]

I do find that annoying.

I find it more annoying, though, when people reply after barely skimming the original post.  They will offer a helpful comment like, “Why don’t you enroll him in the local high school?”, and I roll my eyes because 1) the child was clearly identified as a her not a him, 2) the original post stated the child is 8, so the high school really isn’t a reasonable suggestion, and 3) it was thoroughly explained right up front why enrolling in any school was not a workable option right then. 

Wendy

[wintermom]

2 hours ago, Tibbie Dunbar said:

does that make you feel a little stabby? 

What does "stabby" mean? Is it like crabby, but you want to stab someone?  I honestly can't say I've ever felt "stabby," but I do find it amusing to see people do the "I haven't read any replies" thing because I figure the OP must losing their mind. ? They come here to release some steam and end up getting more annoyed. I feel kind of sorry for them.  It's like a person coming into a movie half-way through expecting to pick up the thread exactly where it's convenient for them.

Edited October 16, 2018 by wintermom

[Guest]

I confess to doing this sometimes. It’s probably a pride thing. Like, I figure my particular insight is going to be ever so helpful but I don’t have time to read all forty-six prior posts. ?

In some cases, I answer before reading replies because I, like a PP said, want to speak my view without being swayed by the replies. Sometimes threads turn into a yes-fest and someone does not wish to say their “no” after twenty “we all agree” posts. This strategy avoids that. Plunge in and state the unpopular opinion! ?

It is true that I roll my eyes a little tiny bit when someone chimes in three pages in on a point that has been throughly discussed already. Like, there’s fifty posts talking about how the kid is deathly afraid of clowns and then someone pops on and says, “I haven’t read replies but my 8-year-old LOVED her circus birthday party! That’s what I recommend.” ? 

[Pen]

Maybe this could be another thing like JAWM. If an OP only wants replies where someone read whole thread put: ORIYRE. “Only reply if you read everything “. In thread title. 

[Ausmumof3]

How would you pronounce that?  Is it like oh rye ree?  Or eye rare?

 

 

[Guest]

I think Oh-rye-ree. 

[Pen]

Or I Ree. Like if you mess up I will Ree you.  Whatever Ree means    Probably something people do when they feel stabby. 

[barnwife]

That is SO annoying.  I avoid it by posting early and never coming back to read anybody else's opinions and posting fails. 

[Pawz4me]

7 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

How would you pronounce that?  Is it like oh rye ree?  Or eye rare?

 

 

Does this mean you (and others?) are pronouncing JAWM?

I think this is more than I can take before finishing my first cup of coffee. 

[Twolittleboys]

Huh, I can see how that could bother someone. But unfortunately I am guilty of doing this quite a bit (actually, I haven't read all the replies here either...) - sometimes on purpose so I don't get influenced by others, more often because I just don't have the time.

There is a bright side to this though: Sometimes it can help to get a thread back to the original topic if it has gone off the rails. I mean by the time you read through several pages of replies you possibly have forgotten the original question (e.g. how to get a stain out) as people might have been discussing unfair teachers, best colors for living rooms, best places to buy socks or whatever on the last page.

[DawnM]

11 hours ago, happi duck said:

My favorite is when I'm the first or second reply "It's xyz".  And then downthread someone says "it's xyz" and everyone is quoting them "wow! You're right!"  It makes me paranoid that I'm on a lot of ignore lists!!!

 

YES!  That makes me stabby!  Happens often.  And the funny part is, I often try to couch what I say to be nice, and then someone comes along, says the same thing, but in a ruder way, and they get lots of likes and quotes and whatever.  

[DawnM]

I honestly don't always have the time to read an entire thread, especially when it is several pages long.  

[teachermom2834]

Or when you ask a question and say “I’ve already eliminated XYZ possibility” and then people keeping telling you XYZ is the clear answer. 

That makes me crankier but the gripe in OP does sometimes too. 

[Ausmumof3]

47 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

Does this mean you (and others?) are pronouncing JAWM?

I think this is more than I can take before finishing my first cup of coffee. 

Lol... yep.  I totally say jorm in my head when I read it!  Maybe I’m just weird.  I struggle with iykwim though!  ?. 

[DawnM]

53 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Or when you ask a question and say “I’ve already eliminated XYZ possibility” and then people keeping telling you XYZ is the clear answer. 

That makes me crankier but the gripe in OP does sometimes too. 

 

Or the, "I hate to tell you this, but XYZ is the only way."  Or, "I'm sorry, you will just have to admit that XYZ is the only way."

You don't hate to tell me, you are relishing it!  And you aren't sorry, you are enjoying it!"

Makes me want to punch someone.

[marbel]

13 hours ago, happi duck said:

My favorite is when I'm the first or second reply "It's xyz".  And then downthread someone says "it's xyz" and everyone is quoting them "wow! You're right!"  It makes me paranoid that I'm on a lot of ignore lists!!!

Yeah, I admit this kind of gets to me too. 

But I sometimes reply without reading all the posts. Sometimes if the thread has gotten long (and possibly contentious) and I am just posting an opinion, and/or I have some experience with the thing being discussed but don't have time to read all the posts and write my own, I will post without reading. But I try to put a disclaimer and sort of apology-ish phrase to indicate that I haven't read everything.

I didn't realize it bothered so many people.  

 

Edited October 16, 2018 by marbel

[Valley Girl]

9 hours ago, Pen said:

Or I Ree. Like if you mess up I will Ree you.  Whatever Ree means    Probably something people do when they feel stabby. 

Or maybe something like RARE (read all replies, everyone) for those threads where details of the situation are critical and have been elaborated upon. I try to read all the replies before responding, but sometimes that's just not practical if I'm short on time or the thread is especially long or going in circles.

[SKL]

I can understand OP frustration over having told people the same info over and over throughout the thread, but it seems to me that if such info is important, it might be added to the OP with "updated" added to the title.  I would also think reading the same suggestion from multiple people is just a regular predictable result of posting any OP.  I can understand that if you're already stressed out, it could feel frustrating, but is it really the commenter you're frustrated with ....

I do notice some OPs seem to feel they have to answer every question asked in a thread, even if they already answered it for someone else.  IMO it's OK to ignore / not respond to questions and comments when your time is better spent doing something else.

[elegantlion]

Have you tried essential oils to help with that stabby feeling? 

[Mimm]

Well I haven't read any replies (because I'm about to walk out the door) but still felt like maybe I have something of value to add and I can't be sure it wasn't said before but even if it has, adding another voice to this particular position is probably not the worst thing in the world. ?

My pet peeve is when people request information or suggestions and say "And go!" as if I have been just sitting around waiting for someone, ANYONE to ask me what my favorite history curriculum for elementary is. (Hijacking your thread to talk about my own issues... probably another person's pet peeve.) ?

 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, elegantlion said:

Have you tried essential oils to help with that stabby feeling? 

If you’re asking, I bet you happen to have a kit right over here...

[Guest]

9 hours ago, SKL said:

I can understand OP frustration over having told people the same info over and over throughout the thread, but it seems to me that if such info is important, it might be added to the OP with "updated" added to the title.  I would also think reading the same suggestion from multiple people is just a regular predictable result of posting any OP.  I can understand that if you're already stressed out, it could feel frustrating, but is it really the commenter you're frustrated with ....

I do notice some OPs seem to feel they have to answer every question asked in a thread, even if they already answered it for someone else.  IMO it's OK to ignore / not respond to questions and comments when your time is better spent doing something else.

Yeahbut...I always feel this deep sense of involvement towards people in a thread I start. I want all to feel acknowledged and listened to. (Well, unless they are being some jerky troll.) I always seek to “like” every reply, though this leads to running out of likes if the thread gets long. I like to answer people’s sincere questions and thank them for sharing some important insight. It’s really hard for me to leave someone's worthwhile questions hanging or to not “like” the post so they feel acknowledged. 

[Peaceseeker]

Just noting the irony that people say they don't have time to read the long threads so they just comment and that is part of what creates such long threads.   I am getting a quiet chuckle out of it but it doesn't make me feel stabby lol...

Edited October 17, 2018 by CaliforniaDreamin

[Familia]

I guess I have sympathy for those whose voices want to be heard more than they want to be first.  Not that I know anyone like that ... I haven't read the other replies ?

[Carrie12345]

Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't, depending on the context.  I did only skim some of these replies, recognizing that it's an opinion question, not a problem solving one!

So here's what's bothering me, lol. My pet peeve is asking a question with plenty of background info and getting answers that completely ignore that info.  It doesn't happen here as much as it happens on FB. I'm in a group where I've posted things like "I don't like X for reasons 1, 2, and 3, so I'm looking for something like Y to do a, b, c."  And then the first reply is "So-and-so sells an X you might like."  If I dare to respond "Thanks but, like I said, I don't want X" someone will inevitably tell me that there's no need for me to be rude. ?

[Twolittleboys]

1 hour ago, Carrie12345 said:

Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't, depending on the context.  I did only skim some of these replies, recognizing that it's an opinion question, not a problem solving one!

So here's what's bothering me, lol. My pet peeve is asking a question with plenty of background info and getting answers that completely ignore that info.  It doesn't happen here as much as it happens on FB. I'm in a group where I've posted things like "I don't like X for reasons 1, 2, and 3, so I'm looking for something like Y to do a, b, c."  And then the first reply is "So-and-so sells an X you might like."  If I dare to respond "Thanks but, like I said, I don't want X" someone will inevitably tell me that there's no need for me to be rude. ?

 

Yes, I dislike that one too, a lot. Happens to me mostly on Tripadvisor. You say perfectly politely that you wonder how to get from your hotel in X to place Y and everyone will tell you why a) a hotel in X is a horrible idea and b) Y is not worth your time. Which wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't explained earlier why it has to be hotel X and why place Y is on my list.

 

[KungFuPanda]

On 10/15/2018 at 6:30 PM, Tibbie Dunbar said:

When people post in threads, "I have not read the replies, but..." and you just KNOW they are going to say something that has already been addressed (multiple times in long threads), and of COURSE they do...

does that make you feel a little stabby? 

It would really just make my Monday if this thread goes really long, just so somebody can say, "I haven't read the replies, but here's what's bothering ME."

No because it’s not a test; just a conversational thread. There is no obligation to read 5 pages of chatter before addressing the OP’s original post. Of course, you risk that the conversation has moved on and your 2 cents will be redundant or ignored, but oh well. I figure this board is populated by busy moms with limited down time and they participate when they can. You CAN get annoyed, but it’s silly because there are no rules or even guidelines being broken. 

FTR, I responded directly to your post without reading the other replies. Sometimes I do that AFTER I respond. ? I may or may not edit my post if the topic has veered off. 

[GailV]

I'm just here to clutter up the place with replies that have nothing to do with anything under discussion, possibly (optimally!) derailing the entire thing so that the people who tried peeking at the end to see where the discussion headed are flabbergasted as to how the conversation got from point A to point B.

And now I'm just adding another line to take up more of your limited reading time, plus congratulate myself on having already used a word like "flabbergasted" in a sentence today.

[KungFuPanda]

12 hours ago, elegantlion said:

Have you tried essential oils to help with that stabby feeling? 

 

This is ridiculous and unhelpful. Clearly she needs to give up gluten, get her thyroid checked, and tomato stake her children. 

 

Has this turned into a pet peeve thread yet? Because I’ve got one in the holster. (I started a sentence with “because.” Whose jumped over to Team Stabby now? ?)

 

Edited October 17, 2018 by KungFuPanda

[Scarlett]

I often post before reading because I don’t want my reply to be influenced by the other posts.  

 

[SKL]

11 hours ago, Quill said:

Yeahbut...I always feel this deep sense of involvement towards people in a thread I start. I want all to feel acknowledged and listened to. (Well, unless they are being some jerky troll.) I always seek to “like” every reply, though this leads to running out of likes if the thread gets long. I like to answer people’s sincere questions and thank them for sharing some important insight. It’s really hard for me to leave someone's worthwhile questions hanging or to not “like” the post so they feel acknowledged. 

I'm not saying you should never answer, but I don't think you have to always answer.

For one thing, the more often the same thing is said (e.g OP answering a question already answered before), the less likely it is that all the commenters will bother to read the entire thread before commenting.  IME on a long thread, chances are 90% of it is repeats so unless I'm desperately looking for ways to avoid my work, I am not going to read most of it.

[Janeway]

It does not make me stabby. Two people giving similar answers just reinforces the other.  I love to hear what people come up on their own rather than what they just read others saying. What makes me stabby is when someone responds, claiming they are just certain someone said something they never said and then the rest of the people following continue on as if the OP said whatever the responder thought the OP said. That is what makes me stabby. OR, when someone clearly already hates the OP and only clicks on the OPs post to make an attack. When I response goes something like this "I knew when I saw you were posting it was going to be something stupid like this......" The term "scroll past it" is real folks! If you hate someone, move on. Don't stalk them and attack over and over again. SWB has better things to do with her day than to sit around on her boards trying to delete comments from grownups who are petty little bullies. I find fear that the sort of person who would do that sort of thing actually home schools their children, or has children at all. 

Edited October 17, 2018 by Janeway

[SKL]

To the question whether it is useful to say something that someone else already said ... I think it depends.

Most of the time when I see that someone else has already made a point I would have made, I don't post in the thread at all.

There are exceptions.  For example:

• I feel like the OP is sort of taking a vote/survey.  How many of you think my MIL is crazy?  If only one person answers "your MIL is crazy" does that mean most people think she isn't?  Or what?
• I feel like the point I agree with has been misunderstood or has received unfair reactions.
• I feel like someone needs support.
• I want to participate in the camaraderie of shared experience.
• Probably others.

While we could use "likes" to show our agreement, I don't think people weigh likes that way.  If you have 10 "no you are stupid" replies to one "yes you are right" with 15 likes, what are you going to feel?