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KathyBC

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Everything posted by KathyBC

  1. While I agree with Farrar, relationships trump rules, I would definitely have felt the same way. If it was important to me, I would outright ask the niece's parent, next time we spoke, "Hey, did niece mention gift? We were so excited to get it, and were hoping they would like it." Because I would want to know!
  2. I scrolled by a letter from Faulkner the other day, and marveled. I leave dangling participles recklessly in my wake. Any suggestions on how to craft better day-to-day missives? Would sentence diagramming, something our homeschool never got to, help? Is there a free app for that?
  3. Oh in a friend setting? Naturally.
  4. No caterers. I would find dancing on grapes and other dropped food disruptive. YMMV.
  5. I feel like at this point I'm going to have to start giving a blow-by-blow detail of the entire wedding, lol. At this point, 10pm?, people had moved outside into the night air, others were taking down tables, I thought perhaps there might be dancing later. My kids were, I hope, just good-naturedly bugging me about my predictable character traits when I got out the broom.
  6. As a young adult, it was pointed out to me that the host might be offended I hadn't offered to help clean up. I was mortified that I had missed out on a commonly held social expectation. Have I been overcompensating ever since? Maybe that expectation is not that commonly held? Crazy, I tell ya.
  7. Regentrude, I am now dying to know how you interact as a guest.
  8. I guess it would have been relevant to mention this was at a rented venue. Everything needed to be cleaned up by a set time, which would be long after my family left. I wasn't sure how many people would be left to help my sister by that time. As a volunteer I help run a rented venue, so finding cleaning supplies in hidden cupboards, etc. just seemed like a normal thing to me. Hard to turn that off, I guess.
  9. Ok, would you ask first or jump in?
  10. K, see now this is more like me when I am the hostess. My sister is way more chill than me. She asks, and is happy to either help or not. It truly never occurred to me to ask in this context. The majority of attendees were in their 20s and having a *really* good time, so I jumped into mom role and should have asked first, I guess.
  11. I am happiest at an event when I have a job to do. If I don't have one, I can usually find one. I used to be a kid and happy to let people do stuff for me, but now I always "see" what needs doing - even if at some point probably others will do it - and am happiest jumping in. But my now-adult kids are poking me that when I am just a guest I should sit back and not do this. Context: my sister lives in another province and had a smallish wedding for her daughter this weekend. I was happy to clear empty cups and cans, sweep the floor, reload ice, etc. My kids were picking on me. In hindsight, I don't want my actions to have made my sister feel like she didn't have things covered. She is very capable and competent. That is just my go-to behavior. But it occurs to me perhaps this is maybe more narcissistic than helpful, a 'savior' complex. Thoughts? Can you just relax and be? One other thought: could be mild ADD, a way to keep myself entertained productively.
  12. Thanks. That is really helpful. Exactly, I could always correct myself if it came up again.
  13. I've done it mid-conversation but not 30 seconds after everyone has walked away. I need to get braver.
  14. Yes, this is what I would say. But since it's just a casual conversation, the topic is unlikely to come up again. Bringing it up again just to correct myself seems forced, KWIM? And yeah, everyone pretty much knows everyone in our small communities, but it doesn't mean we all know the day-to-day details. I guess that is more my concern: they might have another casual conversation with someone else and discover my mistake, or repeat my mistake themselves and be corrected. Or maybe they knew the true story, and are left wondering how I can be so spacey. IDK, I'm sure I am overthinking this, lol.
  15. Sometimes my tongue gets ahead of my brain. When I replay the conversation, I find I misspoke. (Attributing the wrong employer or wrong career to a mutual acquaintance, for instance.) On the one hand, it was a minor remark in the scope of the conversation, and doesn't seem to warrant making a big deal out of it. On the other hand, I want to be more precise and don't want to be a constant source of incorrect info. Definitely easier to do in writing than in real time for me, lol. What do you do? Is there a social convention for this? For you West Wing fans, remember the episode where someone - Josh? - used the wrong country name with someone important and then spends the rest of the episode trying to "casually" correct himself, while making additional errors? 😃 Edit: Haha, found it
  16. Coming back to this thread is like an old game of telephone. The OP's few sentences have been construed into this *scenario* that may be many variable shades of the truth for all any of us know. I like to play armchair psychologist, too, but this feels like Olympic-level!
  17. Haven't read any replies. If her family is truly moving here in a couple of months, and they can't seem to wrap their head around paying a sitter, maybe you should? Hire a young local homeschooler to help you when you have them? Just to keep your foot in the door for when you see them less often?
  18. So if the vaccine proves to be less than 100% effective, how long do we continue to keep families out of hospitals? How do we staff testing sites, immunization clinics and hospitals with the same number of employees we had before? It's clear that can't go on indefinitely. Faltering economies can't double staffing, even if we had the trained personnel available; training which presents more funding challenges.
  19. If (vaccinated) family members were once again allowed in hospitals, do you think that level of minimal care would take at least some of the pressure? I'm thinking of making sure patients get safely to and from the bathroom, things like that.
  20. Oh I still have the ancient old Kenmore Extra Capacity Heavy Duty dryer that matched the (oops we miswired your fuse box) Washer. They will pry it from my cold dead fingers.
  21. Phoned ahead, looking at mid to end of October for washers due to supply chain issues. Of course. Salesperson felt the 4.0 capacity was probably too small and recommended this one: https://www.maytag.ca/en_ca/washers-and-dryers/washers/top-load-washers/p.top-load-washer-with-the-deep-water-wash-option-and-powerwash-cycle-4.9-cu.-ft.-i.e.c.mvwc565fw.html Hope it is okay, fingers crossed.
  22. The one I'm looking at says 4.0 cu.ft. The crappy GE I have right now is 4.4 cu.ft. Not sure what my old sadly-not-indestructible Kenmore oversize was, but it fit a lot. What size is your SQ? I just don't get why you can't start the water first anymore, or what is so hard about having small, medium and large load settings. Don't bother reinventing if it makes a lesser product!
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