Do you know/like your immediate neighbors?

[sheryl]

We're headed to the beach this weekend and I called our neighbor to ask them to cat sit.  The husband is self-employed as a wood worker/craftsman and specializes in custom cabinetry.  His wife is employed full time outside the home.  They have no kids but a dog.  He just informed me they are moving!  WAH!!!

DH, DD and I really like them and they have said the feeling mutual.  They are just the nicest neighbors - more laid back and not so pretentious. If dh, who parks his car on the street, forgets to turn off an interior car light, we get a call from our neighbor telling us so.  We get their mail and they get ours.

I have tears in my eyes over this.  They will be missed.  Their move will take them 4-5 hours away in to VA.  

Guess it's a good thing dd and I are going to PF in a bit.  I'll work out my sulking. 

[teachermom2834]

We lived in our previous home for ten years and didn’t even have anyone we knew enough to say goodbye when we left. That was weird and sad.

We were warmly welcomed in our new neighborhood. Older couple across the street play a grandparent role. Family with six kids kitty corner from us were instant friends. We have been here three years but we felt like we had friends within weeks of moving in. Would be very sad to lose either of those neighbors (though older couple is ready to downsize). It had been so nice. Neighbors have even come to my dd’s dance recitals, etc. 

I say we have a great neighborhood but I really don’t know any of my other neighbors. I wouldn’t even recognize the lady next door. Other neighbors I would recognize but not talk to. 

This is our first time with good neighbors and it is awesome. Will be sad if/when this situation changes. But it is just a luck thing I guess. You either click as neighbors or you don’t, just like friends I suppose.

 

[SKL]

Have to say I really don't know our neighbors. 

My left side neighbor has older kids (teens), so their youngest plays with mine sometimes, but they are big enough that I don't need to get involved.  They have a lot of other things going on, lots of friends and family visiting, so they don't need me, and I am a busy introvert so I don't reach out to them.  But they seem nice enough.

My neighbors on the right side have been here much longer, but their kids are grown and gone.  They have never showed an interest.  A couple times I helped them out on something very small, and we have interacted a little on the sewer project that is affecting both of our properties.  That's about it.  We wave and say hi.

I would not feel anything if either neighbor left.  My kids might miss the girl on the left, but since they don't play together often, I'm not sure about that either.

[Carol in Cal.]

It’s so great to have nice neighbors.  There is a lady on our street who is very old, I think 93. She watches over all the kids, without being nosy about it.  She sticks our mail under our door (mostly to have something to do).  She used to feed our cat when we went away.  We bring her fruit from our trees, and watch for her every day (if I don’t see her on the porch for two days straight, I figure out a ‘reason’ to knock on her door to make sure she is OK.). We sandbagged her front yard for her when we had minor flooding on our street, and last week I was her grown son’s taxi ride to the airport.  I will be so sorry when she moves away or dies.  

[Mbelle]

Yes, I do and do get your sadness over losing special neighbors!  We live in area that until the past 10 years was very rural.  Suburbia has overtaken, but when we first moved to our street our neighbors lived in a home owned by their family for over 100 years.   We loved them so much.  They were so gracious and really seemed to love everyone just how they are.   They just couldn't take the new busyness and traffic and moved 2 hours further out.  Our new neighbors are nice and since they have lived here a few years they have also settled into the vibe of our street.  Our other neighbors are straight out of appalachia.  I like blue grass, but the music he listens to is well beyond that.  We get along fine.  Sometimes we mow his grass (he's 80)  and he brings us fruit from the market.   

[alisoncooks]

We know one neighbor by name only. My kids and I joke that he's CIA or something because he keeps such odd hours and is away for days at a time, every week. 

Our other neighbor is an older couple. The man is in the same profession as DH, so they chat often. He is friendly and mowed our grass when DH was sick for months. The wife I know by name/sight but she's not talkative like her DH. They used to have kids/grandkids living with them (4 years) and my kids were very close with them (daily playmates). They just moved out to their own place, though, and my youngest is so sad about it. 

Edited August 30, 2018 by alisoncooks

[Loowit]

I sort of know our neighbors on either side of us.  Both are retired couples that keep to themselves.  The neighbors across the street moved out recently and I was happy to see them go.  They fought all the time.  There was DV going on and we tried to help the wife, but she refused to leave him.  We had to call the cops a few times because of their fighting.

We are moving in a couple weeks.  We had one neighbor that we don't even know tell us she was sad that we were moving because we are such good neighbors.  I guess that is a compliment, but we really have no clue who she is or even which house she lives in.  We just see her on the sidewalk walking her dog a couple times a day, but have never really spoken.

[J-rap]

We've always had some great neighbors over the years (and a few not-so-great ones, but the great ones make up for that!).  And I mean really great -- they help shovel our sidewalks and have taken care of plenty of household emergencies while we've been out of town.  (Like when a giant tree was starting to fall toward our house!)  We do make a point of greeting new neighbors with a plate of cookies, and it's amazing how a little gesture like that can break the ice and create a neighborly bond of a sort.

[sheryl]

I felt silly when I called my dh I was crying (gently/sniffling) on the other end.  We just like them.  I guess there is so much pretense in our city that these down-to-earth have found a kindred spirit in us.  (was that worded right)

DD was out of the house studying for her cc classes.  I dared not tell her while she was studying as it would throw her for a loop and break her concentration.  I'm headed out now to meet her at PF for a workout.  Watch out machines! ?

Thanks for sharing.  It sounds like many of you had/have great experiences!

[lynn]

Yes and yes.  Same neighbors 13 years.

[Arcadia]

We stay in a condo. My right side neighbor moved in the same day (May 2006) as us and has an only child that was looked after by grandparents and aunt, went to private Christian preschool and is now in a private K-8th Christian school that is next to where mom is teaching (Christian high school). So while we know them, the interaction is minimal.

The postman tends to put our upstairs neighbor’s mail in our mailbox and the neighbor is an elderly lady so we often just bring her misplaced mail up to her. So we have talked many times.

Other residents on my floor are mostly tenants on one year lease so while we know who they are, we seldom talk. 

There is a downstairs neighbor that I seldom talk to due to our time schedules but if we need help, she would help. Her son is in high school so we would discuss academics sometimes. 

[Osprey]

We live in a circle of townhouses, so our neighbors are really more like family. There are a lot of kids and everyone knows each other really, really well. The two kids next door are basically siblings to my daughter. A lot of my friends are also neighbors. On weekends and in the summer, everyone just kind of flows in and out of each other’s houses. I think it seems overwhelming to friends and family when they come visit, but I really like it. 

[Terabith]

Don’t really know our neighbors that well, but from what I know, I don’t love them.  

Next door neighbor on one side is an elderly man who seems nice enough but in ten years, I’ve never had a conversation with him.  Couple on the other side is also elderly, but you know those interviews when someone does something horrible and friends and neighbors say, “They seemed so nice and quiet?”  That would not be our reaction.  We would be the ones saying, “Nope.  Not surprised at all.”  They just give me the creeps.  

Neighbor catty corner across the street is a white supremacist who deliberately ran off the neighbors of color across the street from us, who were super friendly.  He tried to enlist my husband in his conspiracy to get them evicted by calling the police on them multiple times a day.  

[gardenmom5]

not really. fairly spread out, and a very eclectic neighborhood.

[DawnM]

Some neighbors I like, some I don't care for.  One neighbor watches our dog when we are gone.  The old lady next door to me gave me the finger in front of all the ladies in our neighborhood at the Christmas gift exchange for "stealing" a gift (part of the game.)  I haven't talked to her since.  The family directly across from us, well, they are just strange.  I won't go into detail, but they are racists and he drives a Harley he just got and revvs it up all hours, etc.....

 

[Pawz4me]

We have very good neighbors. The kind who are friendly and willing to help if needed but aren’t overly intrusive.

[mumto2]

We live in a quiet area with 7 townhouses and we all know each other because most have lived here since the 70’s.  We are the newbies.  We live in the middle of an extended family, daughter and her young family on one side with her parents living on our other side.  It’s nice for us because we always have people to watch the house etc.  Dh does the lawn for all.  People bring in our rubbish bins for us.  It works.....

[sheryl]

2 hours ago, Patty Joanna said:

Yes, and yes.  It is one reason I would like not to sell this house and move.  We are very lucky to have these neighbors.  

In our previous house, we had wonderful neighbors on the sides and back; the ones who lived (think of a clock face) at 12:00, 3:00, 6:00 and 9:00 were all fantastic.  The ones who lived at 1:30 and 10:30 were yucky.  The rest of the neighborhood was wonderful.  

I missed that house so much when we moved...until a year later, our most beloved elderly neighbors died within 19 days of one another.  It was at that moment that I realized that at least 50% of the value of that house had been the neighbors.  I didn't miss it as much after that. 

 

That is a sweet  yet sad story.  Sorry the neighbors passes.  It sounds like y'all were very fond of each other. 

[happypamama]

Yes, we know our neighbors. I wouldn’t say we are super close, but we’re friendly. They’re all really nice and very much the type who would help in a pinch, and we’ve done the same for them. 

[Storygirl]

We knew everyone in the neighborhood where I grew up, but it hasn't been like that for me as an adult. Of course, my mom was a social extrovert, and I am an introvert with social anxiety, so perhaps the difference is me, and not the neighborhoods that I have lived in.

We just moved this summer and have not met most of the neighbors yet. To one side lives an older couple and the wife's sister (I met the wife's sister one day when we were both outside). On the other side is a family that moved in just as we did, a few months ago. They have preschool children, and mine are teens, so we are in different stages of life. I haven't met them yet, but I think I should take over a plate of cookies or something. I met the lady across the street just this week, as she was loading her son in the car to take him to preschool, but we just said hi across the driveway. We did meet a retired couple who lives two houses down and talked to him while we were walking our dogs one evening.

So there is some potential for friendly neighbors here, but we haven't connected very well yet.

In our last neighborhood, we became very close to another family that had a lot in common with our own, including same-aged children. We are not only neighbors, but friends. And then both of our families moved away. I'm hoping we can make some friends here, but we shall see. One neighbor down the street has planned an ice cream social in their yard in a few weeks, and I hope we can go.

[Liz CA]

It's sort of spread out here - not in shouting distance from house to house but the nearest neighbor moved just a few weeks ago and I have not met the new neighbors. The man who moved away was single and very laid back and nice. He had lived there for decades and I was a little surprised that he sold the house. I delivered a cookie plate to the new neighbors but did not see them. They put a "Thank you" card in our mailbox. I consider this a positive beginning at least. :)

Edited August 30, 2018 by Liz CA

[KrissiK]

Yes, our next door neighbors have been here about a year. Their kids play with ours. I’m trying to make an effort to get to know them. Had them over for dessert last Sunday evening. There are other people on our block we are friendly with, too.

[sheryl]

Storygirl, go the ice cream social.  I think you'll be glad you did! 

[EMS83]

Don't know either one.  Have chatted with one of them once or twice.  Waved to the other.  We are reclusive neighbors.  ?

[rebcoola]

We haven't been here long but all the neighbors are friendly and bring each other treats and help each other out.  My kids know everyone i'm not so good at just going up and chatting.

[Selkie]

We live far out in the country and our two closest neighbors are about a mile away in different directions. We've talked with the one family a few times because they will occasionally come over and ask if we've seen their dogs, which they let run loose. The other neighbors we have never so much as laid eyes on in the twenty years we've lived here. It is a second home for them and I think they are only out here a few times a year. I don't even know what their house looks like because there is about a mile of fields and thick woods between us. Everyone in our area owns big pieces of land (50+ acres) and all the houses are set way back from the road, with driveways around 1/2 mile or longer, so it's very secluded.  

[sheryl]

56 minutes ago, Selkie said:

We live far out in the country and our two closest neighbors are about a mile away in different directions. We've talked with the one family a few times because they will occasionally come over and ask if we've seen their dogs, which they let run loose. The other neighbors we have never so much as laid eyes on in the twenty years we've lived here. It is a second home for them and I think they are only out here a few times a year. I don't even know what their house looks like because there is about a mile of fields and thick woods between us. Everyone in our area owns big pieces of land (50+ acres) and all the houses are set way back from the road, with driveways around 1/2 mile or longer, so it's very secluded.  

Wow, sounds nice!  Are you in TX?

[GailV]

Some of ours are great. Dd babysat for the neighbors on one side for years and years.  The kids there were HORRIFIED when they suddenly realized she was actually leaving town for college this fall ... their older sister had gone out of town for college, but somehow they thought DD was eternally their big playmate who came over whenever their parents weren't home.

The houses across from us are all nice people, although busy with their own lives.  We chat some.

On the other side of us is a bitter, mean 93 year old woman whose most recent antic was spraying Roundup on a huge swathe of our lawn (she also tried to kill a couple of trees, but spraying the base of trees with Roundup doesn't really accomplish much).  I can guarantee if we try to discuss it with her she will pretend to not know what we're talking about, claim it was an accident, or blame someone else (we've been through these shenanigans many times before).  So I'm just planning to plant something else in that area. It may involve flower bulbs.  They may coincidentally land in a pattern that appears to spell out something along with an arrow. ?

[sheryl]

Aw, sweet re: your dd and neighbor kids.  Re: older woman. she sounds like she's angry at someone/something, maybe? and taking it out on you.

[PrincessMommy]

We just moved here about 10 months ago.  We know our immediate right neighbors and one across the street.  Although I don't see either very often, I have met them.

 

I've waved at the other neighbor across the street and he waved back.  His "welcome mat" says "Go away" so there's that.

My neighbor to the left was a shutiin who died about 2 months ago.  I never met her.  We're getting new neighbors and I'm anxious.  I'm hoping they are nice quiet neighbors.  I've read too many scary stories here on WTM so my imagination is running wild.

Our neighborhood has large yards and I think most people just want to be left alone and don't want to be friends with their neighbors.  I'm okay with that.

Edited August 31, 2018 by PrincessMommy

[Frances]

We know the majority of people in our small, historic neighborhood. We have any active email list, men’s and women’s book clubs, a Labor Day potluck, and most Fridays during the school year people taking turns hosting a neighborhood wine and cheese gathering (or whatever you want to serve). The latter has been going strong for almost 40 years.

[lailasmum]

 We know one neighbour really well and the others only in passing. All our immediate neighbours are older people. The ones directly to our right and opposite are a nightmare so I avoid having contact with them. I don't really know the people further down our road except for one family that are good friends of my mum. 

[sheryl]

Lailasmum, right.  And that's one reason why I wanted to know about "direct" neighbors.  The people up the street (we're near the end of a cul-de-sac) are not friendly at all. Across from them is a couple who are ok.  Well, the wife is nicer than the husband.   When I walk up the street in to the neighborhood for a walk, I pass their house and many times she and I cross paths and chit chat for a second.  DD has cat sat for them before.  This couple that is moving is to our left if you stand in our house and face the street.  To our right is a single woman in her early 70's.  She's watched dd grow up and put quite a big responsibility on taking care of her then 6 small breed dogs and 2 cats when she was working full time.  DD would go over and let them out, feed them, etc.  At the age of 8-teen either my dh or I would go over and especially at night for her safety.  Now at 19+ she does that on her own.

Anyway, the woman across the street from the female neighbor beside us is not nice to us.  And, the 2 families down the street are not social at all.  

Really only the direct neighbors to our right and left.  Maybe that's why it's so hard.  I like the couple who is moving!  Now they'll move and left will only be 1 neighbor who is decent! 

[sheryl]

Just now, OKBud said:

Good neighbors are absolutely worth their weight in gold. 

We've lived in places where the neighbors were hostile and/or completely uninterested in interacting with us in even the slightest way, and I am telling you, it doesn't matter how amazing the town is, how gorgeous the views, it's not worth it! It's *so* isolating to live like that. 

We recently moved and while I don't have a solid rapport with them yet, they're very open and willing to help out in any way they can.  

 That is well said and I agree completely!  I really like where we live (city) but there is (and this is another story, I know) so much pretense and/or apathy.  I'd rather move to the mountains where people are a little more laid-back. In your circumstance, it sounds promising and only a matter of time before you cultivate friendships.  With your neighbors it might be starting a board game night, coordinate a street/multi-family yard sale, or something else. 

[PrincessMommy]

4 hours ago, sheryl said:

 That is well said and I agree completely!  I really like where we live (city) but there is (and this is another story, I know) so much pretense and/or apathy.  I'd rather move to the mountains where people are a little more laid-back. In your circumstance, it sounds promising and only a matter of time before you cultivate friendships.  With your neighbors it might be starting a board game night, coordinate a street/multi-family yard sale, or something else. 

Sounds like my old neighborhood.   It was very pretentious.  I was so unhappy there and definitely didn't fit in.  The new neighborhood is very laid back (no HOA helps).  It feels like home. 

[stephanier.1765]

No. We suspect the neighbor to the left of killing at least one of our cats and some others from the neighborhood. We know for a fact he shot one cat with several bbs breaking its leg.

On the other side, I like the dad but the grown children scream, yell and shout obscenity filled venom at whomever they are angry with outside right next to my bedroom window.

The rest of the neighbors are polite enough but I'm not really interested in knowing more.

[sheryl]

38 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

No. We suspect the neighbor to the left of killing at least one of our cats and some others from the neighborhood. We know for a fact he shot one cat with several bbs breaking its leg.

On the other side, I like the dad but the grown children scream, yell and shout obscenity filled venom at whomever they are angry with outside right next to my bedroom window.

The rest of the neighbors are polite enough but I'm not really interested in knowing more.

That stinks.  I'm sorry about those people.  Too many people walk around angry when they need to get help and look at the things with a sunnier disposition. 

[sheryl]

44 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I REALLY like my next door neighbor. She's about to eat supper with us--of course, she happens to be my dd! She's moved in to my sil's house as they've moved to MT. The next closest neighbors (mile away) are cousins, and then next ones across the road are also cousins--mom and dad of the ones on the corner. Further down, next house is the couple that dh considered his extra parents growing up. I just bought their books to give dh for Christmas. The house before them is one of our rentals--they've been there for 15 years. The neighbor on the other side of the road went to high school with dh--they've known each other forever. The next neighbor, about 2 miles away, has been our swim coach for forever. So, yeah, we know our neighbors. 

I love this.  I'm coming to visit! ? Well, ok, I'll just reread your reply instead.  

[Lady Florida.]

I understand. The last of the neighbors who lived here when we moved in 18 years ago moved away recently. They moved out of state to be near their adult son and his family. We miss them.

We know a few of our neighbors and could count on them in an emergency. None of the neighbors are friends who socialize but we all help each other out. One neighbor's teen son feeds our cats when we go away. We all ask each other to keep an eye on our houses if we're going to be gone for any extended period (and sometimes we park in each other's driveways to make it look like someone is there when they're away). 

Besides being happy with our immediate neighbors we love our subdivision. We've come together the past two years with a hurricane each year. Neighbors loaned each other battery operated fans and helped with general after storm clean up. 

I look forward to our move to be closer to the grandkids and other family and friends but I wish that when the time comes I could just pick up our neighborhood and bring it with us.

Edited September 1, 2018 by Lady Florida.

[sheryl]

Quote

 

Kathy,   that is so sweet.  Yes. if I could pick up neighbors to move with us, that would be great!   :)

Margaret, OK, I'm sold. I want to come visit!  :)   Those are great stories too.  How precious on both accounts.

 

[sheryl]

Weird, I went to reply and it added an empty quote box.