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So now punctuation is rude . . .


KungFuPanda
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I just learned this recently, and when I mentioned it to DD15, she said you could be rude with a period in a text, and that she has always known this. Huh.

 

I think it is not that every period is rude. But that if you make a statement and put a period at the end of it, it emphasizes that you are done talking and have said all you will say. Period. 

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I checked with my college girl too. Apparently old people get a pass. 😂 The best I can make sense of it is to think of texting as spoken, rather than written. Some how using a period is like ‘saying’ period and has the feel of shutting down the conversation. I’m guessing it’s like the difference between using “over†and using “out†at the end of a radio conversation. It’s both academically interesting and personally frustrating.

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If periods are so rude, why are they on the same screen as letters on my phone? Put the exclamation points there instead so I don't have to click and switch screens to use one! Make it easy to be friendly!

 

Although, I try to end with emoji's instead of punctuation when possible. I didn't know periods could be rude, but I have done enough online messaging in many formats over the years to know that lack of emoji's can make a conversation head ways one never anticipated. And sometimes I just don't use periods because I'm a slow texter. I might not use capitals for the same reason!

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I already knew that thanks to, “Adam ruins everythingâ€. We watched the episode about grammar and they had Anne Curzan come on, which was kind of strange since we watched her from, “The Great Coursesâ€. (On conversations)

 

If you are curious google, “Adam Ruins Everything Anne Curzanâ€.

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I stopped after I read that article a while ago. I think it's rude because it adds an implied tone equivalent to a serious face and a flat stare at the end of a sentence. Texts are always tone-ambiguous, so I don't want to add anything that even suggests I'm ticked off or otherwise unimpressed. Its easy enough just to not punctuate your last sentence

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It doesn't matter in most context.  But if a person who never uses a period uses one, it conveys disapproval.  Like answering an imploring question ("Please tell me you forgive me for messing up so bad!!") with just the letter K.

 

I'm old.  I'm allowed to be rude.  Folks get over it and, if need be, roll their eyes.

 

No regrets.  No plans to change either.  'Tis tough to teach an old dog new tricks.  Even tougher to teach an old cat and I'm far more a cat person than a dog person.  ;)

 

 

The exact tone conveyed by a period at the end of a text is "folks need to get over it" ....  a defiant glare. 

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It's not a blanket rule. If you always properly punctuate your whole text and text in complete sentences, then even most young people aren't going to think it's rude. Maybe that it's too formal for a text, but that's different from rude. I would say it comes off as cold (which is closely akin to rude) when you're sending a short, half-abbreviated text and stick a period on the end. It also comes off as rude if your replies are all one word with a period. No. Yes. Ok.

 

Punctuation evolves. That's always been true. Punctuation we use for different formats is already different.

 

I think if you are a person of a certain age (which I'm one too) and mostly only texting your family members who know you and other people this age, then it's really not anything you need to worry about.

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That seems like a very flimsy "study" referenced in the article. I don't think I'll be changing my texting habits based on that. If anyone's bothered by a reasonably grammatical sentence ending with a period . . . they need to get a more interesting life.

 

(But what do I know -- I'm still leaving two spaces after periods. Old habits apparently don't die. ;) :lol:)

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The only cool, young person I’ve ever texted was my 17 yo Spanish exchange student. That kid was so cool it oozed out of him. I’ve looked back at our texts and he never uses a period. An exclamation point a few times, but never a period.

 

And honestly, his responses look more friendly than mine with the periods.

 

Also, he often writes jajajaja when he responds to me and I thought he was saying “yeah, yeah, yeah†at me. Turns out the “J†sounds like an “H†in Spanish and he’s laughing: hahahaha.

 

I think I’m going to drop the period and see what the feels like for a while. It might drive the Grammar Girl in me crazy, but it’ll be fun to try something new.

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Huh. I had no idea. I just went through a bunch of text conversations on my phone to check for this. DH never uses a period at the end of a text, but he's the type to always keep it as simple as possible. One friend often leaves off the last period even if she punctuated throughout. I'd never noticed. The other friend I primarily text with fully punctuates like I do. So does that mean friend who leaves it off perceives my fully punctuated texts as being rude or short? Or does this not really apply since it's someone I text with frequently, so she should have figured out by now that I always use proper punctuation? 

 

My SIL hardly uses any punctuation at all, I must be being downright rude to her. :/ 

 

I'm not sure what to make of this. On the one hand I completely see the point that tone must be conveyed somehow and that different communication formats will have different rules. But on the other hand, I have a hard time with intentionally writing incorrectly. It bugs me if I notice a typo or grammar error in a text, even if it's just a casual conversation with a friend. 

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Huh. I had vaguely heard that somewhere on the internet. Probably Buzzfeed? I guess I just kept using a period because that’s how I roll. I even use capitals. If it’s a one word text I skip punctuation. I find on texts I tend to use more exclamation points than I would maybe envision seeing there if one were transcribing my speech in real life.

 

I can see how language could evolve that way. I was listening to an episode of The Allusionist where she had a lexicographer from Webster’s on the show. It was the year end shorts episode and the lexicographer was talking about the discomfort she had when her kids used a word in a way that wasn’t strictly “proper†and yet had definitely become more common. I had the same reaction she did to the word usage and yet I can see the value in embracing the way language evolves, but also the discomfort people get when that change leaves them behind.

 

I’ll still use punctuation. I guess that makes me like the people who seems more formal or old fashioned with their language usage. I can accept that.

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Seriously!! DH and I always use proper punctuation in texts. It’s very rare that we skip it. We rarely use text-speak either.

 

Same here.  My sister is the only one who uses text speak when she texts me and we (all) pretty much roll our eyes and get a chuckle out of it, so if she's doing the same to my proper writing, I guess that's fair.

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So, is it ALL punctuation? Or just punctuation at the end of the last sentence? Or do people not really use “sentences†when texting (I do!!!).

 

My 10 year old dd will sometimes respond to a text for me (if I’m driving or cooking) and she always says she will make sure to add a period since the text is coming from an adult. I thought it was hilarious that even she was aware of the punctuation in texts issue.

Edited by Just Kate
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So, is it ALL punctuation? Or just punctuation at the end of the last sentence? Or do people not really use “sentences†when texting (I do!!!).

My 10 year old dd will sometimes respond to a text for me (if I’m driving or cooking) and she always says she will make sure to add a period since the text is coming from an adult. I thought it was hilarious that even she was aware of the punctuation in texts issue.

Looks like it’s just the last sentence in a reply.

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Huh. I had vaguely heard that somewhere on the internet. Probably Buzzfeed? I guess I just kept using a period because that’s how I roll. I even use capitals. If it’s a one word text I skip punctuation. I find on texts I tend to use more exclamation points than I would maybe envision seeing there if one were transcribing my speech in real life.

 

I can see how language could evolve that way. I was listening to an episode of The Allusionist where she had a lexicographer from Webster’s on the show. It was the year end shorts episode and the lexicographer was talking about the discomfort she had when her kids used a word in a way that wasn’t strictly “proper†and yet had definitely become more common. I had the same reaction she did to the word usage and yet I can see the value in embracing the way language evolves, but also the discomfort people get when that change leaves them behind.

 

I’ll still use punctuation. I guess that makes me like the people who seems more formal or old fashioned with their language usage. I can accept that.

I have a hard time with ‘they’ as singular . Respecting people is more important than old grammar rules so of course I use it when requested but my reflex is still to cringe a little.

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Can we get an example of a sentence that is rude with a period at the end?

Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld where he was dating a woman who never laughed? Whenever he said something funny , she said ‘that’s funny’. So he dumped her . It’s like that. It’s off - not the normal rhythm / expected response. But also not actually a big deal to anyone except those who are characters-on-Seinfeld level petty.

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Our babysitter, freshman in college, fully punctuates her texts. She uses lots of exclamations but she used periods too, even at the end of a text.

 

My niece, sophomore in high school, rarely punctuates. I never really noticed until this thread.

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My kids say I always sound short in texts and they wonder if I'm mad. I just asked one of them for clarification and it's when I text a one or two-word answer with a period.

 

Hmm.  Thinking back, when DH texts and says he's heading home from work, I usually write "k" without punctuation.  That means, "I see that you are heading home now."  When I'm irritated at him for something, I write, "Okay."  Capital O, period at the end.  For some reason, it means, "I see that you are heading home now, and I stewed over this terse response long enough to add a period.  In other words, yes I'm still mad."   :lol:

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I just realized read a text my 45yo friend does this.  In longer texts with a few sentences she does use periods, but tend to leave it off at the end of the text.  Sometimes they are not full sentence answers, so without a period I often end up wondering if she finished her thought or if she accidentally hit send too soon. 

 

Oh sorry, that should say accidentally hit send too soon

 

 

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I just realized read a text my 45yo friend does this.  In longer texts with a few sentences she does use periods, but tend to leave it off at the end of the text.  Sometimes they are not full sentence answers, so without a period I often end up wondering if she finished her thought or if she accidentally hit send too soon. 

 

Oh sorry, that should say accidentally hit send too soon

This is what I wonder, too.

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Looking back through my last ten texts sent... five had periods and five had no punctuation. I'm not sure what that says about me but whatever is, it's probably accurate.

Yeah my too. I am completely inconsistent. And so is spouse and my friends.

 

Let me know if you find out what I'd means. Ha ha or jaja

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