do you play with your kids?

[Elizabeth86]

If so, how often. I feel so busy these days I dont play with them as much as I would like and it makes me quite sad. I played with them quite a bit when I had just 1 and 2.

[Guest]

I play games. I color. That's about it. I don't play dolls or legos or like pretend stuff. I did when they were really little, but I don't usually now. I will sometimes sit in their rooms and keep them company while they do, but I don't do the whole pretend play scene stuff. Oh and I get operated on a lot by my own Doc McStuffins, so I guess that counts as playing to her, but I just get to lie there and close my eyes. Nap/play, same difference. :) 

 

For how often, I try and do puzzles or things like that where I'm interacting like that with them every day, but it's easier with my youngest daughter than my son because he's all about legos and I am just missing that gene. But I try to make myself do something else with him at least every other day, but he did point out to me today I don't really play like his dad does. I said nope. I don't. It's just how I'm built. I still think I'm a good Mom though and I bet you are too. 

[Arcadia]

It depends on what they are playing. Building toys like Lego's definitely. Games like boggle, scrabble or monopoly, my husband would play those with them while I cook his dinner. If I am playing my iPad, they would be my uninvited game advisors :lol:

 

If we are outdoors, I would occasionally play tag, go on the swings or make sand castles with them.

 

My kids rather play with each other or play alone most of the time. They enjoy having us parents as spectators. Mine are 11 and 12 years old.

[Elizabeth86]

I play games. I color. That's about it. I don't play dolls or legos or like pretend stuff. I did when they were really little, but I don't usually now. I will sometimes sit in their rooms and keep them company while they do, but I don't do the whole pretend play scene stuff. Oh and I get operated on a lot by my own Doc McStuffins, so I guess that counts as playing to her, but I just get to lie there and close my eyes. Nap/play, same difference. :)

 

For how often, I try and do puzzles or things like that where I'm interacting like that with them every day, but it's easier with my youngest daughter than my son because he's all about legos and I am just missing that gene. But I try to make myself do something else with him at least every other day, but he did point out to me today I don't really play like his dad does. I said nope. I don't. It's just how I'm built. I still think I'm a good Mom though and I bet you are too.

Yeah I struggle with legos too. My first son is getting into star wars and I'm totally lost on pretend play there too.

[Garga]

No we don't play. I did play with them when they were small.

 

This makes me a little sad. I think I'll pull out a board game tomorrow and play it with them. (They're 14 and 12.)

[abba12]

I remember a thread on this a few years ago and it got pretty nasty unfortunately

 

No, I don't sit down and play tea parties or cars with my kids. They can do that pretty well on their own, I add very little value to that type of play, and I would rather my time with them be spent on something more valuable (not that play isn't valuable, but MUMMY playing isn't necessarily valuable). I would rather spend that time doing something they can only do with me, like bake, or talk, or go our exploring with me as a guide, or getting their help to do an adult task (bonding AND learning, woo!), or do something where my participation actually makes a considerable difference. I have limited hours in the day, and I have to decide, is it better to play tea parties, or bake muffins.

 

Also, I just plain don't enjoy tea parties and doll houses and cars, and I don't want my kids to fall into the trap of not seeing me as anything more than mummy, I want to be a person with my own likes and dislikes that they know and care about. How they treat me and respect my preferences is their first lesson in how to how to give and take with their peers later on. I don't like those things, so, sometimes I will do them because they mean something to the kids and I care about their preferences, but most of the time I will not because I don't enjoy it, just as my kids have things they do and don't enjoy. They seem to understand this pretty well. Along a similar vein I DO play wrestle and such because I happen to enjoy that, and I DO colour alongside them because I like to colour. I don't like little kid board games but when they're a bit older I will play board games with them because I like them. 

 

But generally, i have a pretty hands off attitude to their playtime altogether. My parents certainly never 'played' with me, most parents in my demographic (low income) didn't. People grow out of the desire to play, we understood that and it wasn't really an issue.  

[MommyLiberty5013]

Kids are 7, 5, 4, and 10 months.

 

We're beginning to do board games with the older ones like Candy Land, Monopoly Junior, Karems, Uno, Connect Four, and Trouble. DH reads to the kids from the Chronicles of Narnia and Story of the World, which they all love.

 

I have never done pretend play, but I do suggest pretend play ideas.

 

I play with infant DD - rattles, other toys. DS - 7 and I do Legos every once in a while.

 

Our kids spend a lot of time with DH and me, but it is usually on hikes, or more family-geared things rather than play time. Most of the play, is the kids on their own because we adults have other responsibilities.

 

 

[Guest]

I supervise and facilitate, but I don't usually get involved in play except with a lone toddler, perhaps. I'm not a get down on the floor and play ponies kind of mom. My kids have siblings for that :)

 

I'm always good for an ooh and ahh over a nice lego creation, pretty rock, or poem though. I make a very enthusiastic and appreciative audience.

Edited June 16, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[amy g.]

Yes. Now about once a week. In the past, we put aside an hour each evening when Dh and I both played with them. A different child chose the activity each night.

 

I've haven't been able to get that organized again for a few years.

[bookbard]

Yes, but I have only 2 kids. Rough-housing, board games, lots of imaginary 'conversations' ('pretend that you think that I'm a monster, Mum'. 'Oh my goodness, it's a monster!" "It's only me, Mum!) I'll also build blocks with them and do craft. 

 

I have no memories of my mother ever playing with us, either inside or outside, or even reading books to us. She reads to my kids every visit though. I remember my Dad doing rough-and-tumble play with us; they are fond memories for me. 

[emmaluv+2more]

Yes, on a regular basis. I do puzzles, board games, chalk, swing, play restaurant, crafts, books, sing, etc. I don't enjoy all of those things, but I do enjoy the memories. And I don't play as often as I did when I only had 1 or 2. I have 4 now and they play pretty well together. I also have to work, homeschool, and keep house all on my own as a single parent, so time is way more limited these days.

[SKL]

When my kids were babies, I did have to play with them to teach them how to play.  I guess they didn't play in foster care.

 

In general, I play when I'm in a playful mood.  Not out of a sense of obligation.  I can be quite fun at times.  :P

[SKL]

Thinking back to my own childhood, my dad did play with us.  My mom did too, but like me, only when she was in a playful mood.  I can remember her pretending to be "the mummy" and coming after us slowly with her hands stretched out.  LOL.  She used to make up silly songs with us a the subject.  She'd look at us very closely and then say, "oh yikes, you have garments and ancestors!"  (We thought that probably meant bugs.)  Stuff like that which she found fun at the moment.  Mostly she was pretty busy doing the things a mom needs to do.  (At the time she had 4 kids.)

[SKL]

I do like to pretend my kids' doll and bear are real.  They have personalities and adventures.  The kids really love it when I do this, even though they are way past the age of believing in make-believe.  :P

 

Once, when my kids were about 5, they decided I needed to marry this ugly purple ape pillow that they had.  They got me all dolled up for my wedding and we tied the knot.  They still remember that day fondly.  LOL, the things we do for our kids.  (FTR the gorilla and I were divorced not long after the wedding.)

[JustEm]

Yes, I regularly play with my kids. I love pretending with them, playing boardgames​, Legos, puppet shows, tag, climbing trees, etc. What I hate doing is arts and crafts. I draw the line there. I supply them with plenty of paints, crayons, etc but I do not do it with them or suggest they do it.

[heartlikealion]

not enough. Like, I might color with dd occasionally but I don't sit down and really play. I should probably do creative play with her. Too young for board games. Just takes all the pieces out. We do read together and I pretend to chase her/tickle her, but build things with blocks together or bring out the play-doh? Not much.

[Arctic Bunny]

Yes, but they've always been each other' playmate as well. We have evolved from building blocks and pretend kitchen and play dough to nerf guns and football and Nintendo and board games, though ;)

[rebcoola]

Yes, daily I like wrestling, and board games.  They often use me as a prop in their pretend play like I am the monster or something I will play along and growl when they get close.

[Guest]

I play like play cards and board games. I play like throw balls around or participate in relationships races. I play like roughhousing (less and less as they get bigger, though).

 

 

But I don't build Legos or play pretend or anything like that. I didn't when they were little, either. I've played with toys with them maybe ten times total in their lives. It's so boring I can't stand it.

 

Oh sometimes I'll play like sitting in a chair acting like I'm a police dispatcher and they are detectives and I assiggn cases to them over the walkie talkies. Technically walky talkies are toys I guess.

[meganrussell]

I love to play outside with my kids. We will play corn hole, basketball, baseball, whiffle ball, football, swim if we are near a pool.

 

I don't play with toys with my kids. We do play board games and build puzzles, do arts and crafts, bake, and watch movies together. Occasionally I will build Legos.

 

I'm a good mom and my kids don't ask me to play with them. If they asked, I probably would. Of course they are 14, 12, 9, 7 and 4. The little ones play together or alone.

[Elizabeth86]

I remember a thread on this a few years ago and it got pretty nasty unfortunately

 

No, I don't sit down and play tea parties or cars with my kids. They can do that pretty well on their own, I add very little value to that type of play, and I would rather my time with them be spent on something more valuable (not that play isn't valuable, but MUMMY playing isn't necessarily valuable). I would rather spend that time doing something they can only do with me, like bake, or talk, or go our exploring with me as a guide, or getting their help to do an adult task (bonding AND learning, woo!), or do something where my participation actually makes a considerable difference. I have limited hours in the day, and I have to decide, is it better to play tea parties, or bake muffins.

 

Also, I just plain don't enjoy tea parties and doll houses and cars, and I don't want my kids to fall into the trap of not seeing me as anything more than mummy, I want to be a person with my own likes and dislikes that they know and care about. How they treat me and respect my preferences is their first lesson in how to how to give and take with their peers later on. I don't like those things, so, sometimes I will do them because they mean something to the kids and I care about their preferences, but most of the time I will not because I don't enjoy it, just as my kids have things they do and don't enjoy. They seem to understand this pretty well. Along a similar vein I DO play wrestle and such because I happen to enjoy that, and I DO colour alongside them because I like to colour. I don't like little kid board games but when they're a bit older I will play board games with them because I like them.

 

But generally, i have a pretty hands off attitude to their playtime altogether. My parents certainly never 'played' with me, most parents in my demographic (low income) didn't. People grow out of the desire to play, we understood that and it wasn't really an issue.

Please dont let this get nasty. Drama is never my intent. I was just curious whether you do or dont not whether you should or should not.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes

 

[Guest]

When they were little, I did do pretend play with them or whatever they were into. We also played board games and puzzles, stuff like that. But not all the live-long day, of course, especially once they were old enough to play with each other or friends.

 

But with older kids, we play card games and board games. I read every day with my youngest, though he is 12.

[medawyn]

Not really. My oldest is only 4, so I'm always present when all three kids are in a room together. Sometimes I'm folding laundry or similar, most times I'm audience, arbitrator, and the designated move the baby before he wrecks my creations person.

 

I facilitate creative opportunities in our art space, and I usually sit with them and color/paint/whatever for a while. Sometimes my working alongside them prolongs an activity, but sometimes they just do exactly what mom does and wander off when I'm done.

 

I do play board games, in large part because I really only have one kid who gets them yet. The 2.5 yo is getting there, but the 4 yo is ready for more strategy games. I'm a great puzzle encourager, especially if it's new or bigger, but I don't usually assemble.

 

I throw balls (I have been deemed an insufficient soccer partner), sing lullabies to special baby when she's been crammed into her bed, and find many ways to distract the 13 month old. I admire lots of various creations and physical feats, but I rarely get in on the building or the pretending.

 

I'm very present (and looking forward to the days when they can play longer without constant supervision), and we do lots of family outings and reading time, but I don't really think of myself as a playmate.

[SparklyUnicorn]

When they were little, I did do pretend play with them or whatever they were into. We also played board games and puzzles, stuff like that. But not all the live-long day, of course, especially once they were old enough to play with each other or friends.

 

But with older kids, we play card games and board games. I read every day with my youngest, though he is 12.

 

Same here.  My younger kid will be 12 this month.  I still read with him.

 

At this point it's board games, card games, and video games.  When younger it was whatever it was they were into.  This is not to say I will play WHATEVER they want whenever.  My older kid keeps trying to get me to play violent shooting games.  I hate stuff like that so I don't do that.  He cracks me up though because he brags to me about how he'll beat me at XYZ video game so I play it and wipe the floor with him.  Hahahaha.... :laugh:   I'm not washed up yet! 

[marbel]

I played with my kids, but mostly games, not pretend play.  I was happy to have two kids close in age, so they were natural playmates early on.  

 

We did read together a lot.  I don't consider that playing with them though.  I do remember my daughter once complaining that I didn't have enough tea parties with her and her dolls. I said something like, yeah, I know, I'm not that kind of mom. I'm a reading mom.   And then it was like, oh ok then.  

 

I  have no memory of my mom playing with me.  I'm sure she did at some points in my life.  She read to me a lot.  I guess I had a reading mom too.  

 

 

[Rachel]

I interact with my kids and I am playful with them but I don't play with them. We have fun together but I prefer spending time with them doing something like a puzzle, reading books, cooking, or going hiking.

 

When my 5 year old asks me to play with him, he doesn't mean to get in his pretend world with him and his cars. He usually means he wants some company in the living room and that he wants me to pay attention when he races them or whatever.

[lynn]

The boys had each other but I would play board games, race cars, soccer, kickball, badminton things like that. Dd (only girl) Id have tea parties, played volley ball or whatever game she invented, american girl dolls, play dough etc

Edited June 16, 2017 by lynn

[historically accurate]

Not much anymore - kids are 10, 11 & 15. 

 

Currently, I play board games, physical games (yoga, badminton, etc) and sometimes will join in an art project (clay, chalk, paint, etc). When they were littler, I often dressed dolls, babysat (tucked it in next to me on the couch or tucked it into a backpack) stuffed animals while they were pretending to go to work, separated LEGOs, etc. I didn't play with them as in me pretending.

 

One dd had motor delays, and I did "play" with her as therapy. Also, I used unit/book studies for toddler-Kindergarten that often had play built in (felt boards, acting out the story with dolls/stuffed animals, games with a theme), so the kids may think that I played with them more often than I really did.

[Bluegoat]

Not much.  More with my eldest when she was small.

 

I was going to say not at all, but I notice some people have a broader definition of play.  I will occasionally do board games, or colour, or toss a ball type games.  I'd play tennis if any were willing.  We sing together.  I've played blocks with little ones waitingfor olders at a class.  We read.  Sometimes I'm playful and joke around with them.

 

 

[Mimm]

Yes. I played with my older two but they were 18 months apart, so I tried to get them to play with each other as much as possible. I play with my youngest. She has no close in age siblings and imaginative play is important. It's something she often won't engage in without someone to play with her. I'm working with her on learning to play alone. I don't enjoy playing imagination games. She's not very good at coming up with compelling plot lines and not very good at following along with my compelling plot lines. ;)

[J-rap]

Yes, I played with them a fairly good amount when they were growing up, though times varied, and not every day.  I never enjoyed pretend play, playing dolls, etc, but they didn't really need my help with that kind of play.  But I loved creating things with them.  When they were little, I'd make little paper dolls and paper clothes with them, or cook in the kitchen with them, or do little fun art kits with them or art projects, or help build snow houses with them, etc.  As they got older, we did lots of crafts.  But I generally didn't sit down and play with them the whole time.  I'd sit down and get it started with them, and then I'd be done after a bit and they'd keep going.

 

Of course when all I had was one, we played more often.

 

Now we play a lot of board games and card games!  And this weekend my college dd and I are going to make paper flowers.  :) 

 

 

[LindaOz]

Not imaginary stuff really - unless I'm drinking another pretend latte that one of them has made me... ;)

 

But I play quite a lot of card and board games with my kids. It's great for interaction and is something that's not screen focused. My teens and early twenties dc will happily play games with me till late at night. We tried to teach dd18's boyfriend to play a card game the other day because he hardly knows how to play 'anything' other than video games. He struggled a bit with it but we'll get him hooked eventually...maybe...

Edited June 16, 2017 by LindaOz

[Lady Florida.]

As the parent of an only child, I played with him when he was little. I wasn't good at imaginary play, but I tried. Mostly though I did things like build with blocks (later Lego) and play with action figures or toy cars. Sometimes we'd build blanket forts and play whatever his game was in the fort. I tried to make sure he had regular contact with other children once he was old enough to want to more than parallel play. 

Edited June 16, 2017 by Lady Florida.

[lavender's green]

I do, but only as it naturally comes up. Like, I'll be sitting on the couch reading while the kids ask me what I want to eat and they bring me pretend food or have me hold a baby doll. However, we do a lot of board games, puzzles, building things, or kicking a ball around, and I usually facilitate their other play (they're currently at ages and temperaments that can clash). But plonking down on the floor to play ponies? Not usually.

[LucyStoner]

Sometimes. In some ways.

 

We do play a lot of board, card and math games. We read aloud daily. We have a running story telling thing going and we each take turns adding in "a chapter". We beach comb and star gaze together. We play catch and kick the soccer ball around. I take them skating and I'm not the mom at the rink whose watching from the sidelines- I lace up my skates and get out there with them. I have helped with a lot of legos, robotics and electronics projects over the years.

 

I'm not often involved in their playground antics or getting down to play with blocks or dollhouse or whatever. I think I am more playful than a lot of parents who say they never play with their kids, but at the same time more hands off with their play than a lot of parents who say it's critically important to play with your kids.

Edited June 16, 2017 by LucyStoner

[tdbates78]

Not really, and I feel kinda guilty about it. I'm just not the type to sit on the floor and play tea party or Barbie's or whatever. We do play games on occasionally. My girls have always had each other, and play very well together, so I guess I never felt like there was a need. I am very affectionate with them and we snuggle and whatnot. And I will help them make a fort but then I leave them to play in it. And we go to museums, zoos, hiking etc together as a family.

Edited June 16, 2017 by tdbates78

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited July 11, 2017 by tentwelve

[Farrar]

We play board games.

 

When they were younger, I played a decent amount - at least a little every day. I played with blocks and Legos and other building toys alongside them. And then I would do pretend play when them. I did a lot when they were toddlers and it was a sort of slow tapering off until around the time when they were around seven or eight. After that, occasional building alongside or with them, and art with them, and board games, which we still do.

 

I know some parents don't like to play. I think that's okay, though I also think it can be a special experience if you do it. But if you don't, you can make other special experiences. Not the end of the world. I do think board games are good for all ages though. And there are some that are good for adults and kids together. Now that my kids are older, it's mostly unnecessary, but when they were younger, we would often play against each other but they would get an advantage and I would get a handicap. Like, we would play Bananagrams, but they would have the ability to put one tile back at the end and I would have to take a lot more tiles to start. Or, we would play Labyrinth and I would have to collect lots of treasures and they would only need to collect a few. It was a good way to even the field.

 

[lulalu]

Board games yes at least once a week. I schedule it in to my week so it gets done. I am the type that needs to have it planned in order to regularly happen.

 

Pretend play very seldom. I just don't enjoy it, and I value my son learning to entertain himself.

[heartlikealion]

This thread has reminded me how disorganized our toys and such are. If I could get everything put away properly then it would be easier. Right now we can't find all the blocks, can't find all the crayons or markers, and can't find all the magnatiles. Magnatiles are harder to use than I thought they would be, too.

[nixpix5]

I play board games, draw, color, read with them...those sorts of things. We do go out and play kickball, badmitton, volleyball etc and occasionally you will even catch me bouncing on the trampoline with them :)

 

My husband is different, he gets home from work and he is on the floor with them coloring, building legos, building imaginext, doing puzzles and even running through the house playing with them. He is a big kid.

 

Mostly though, since they are all so close in age, they tend to play well together on their own with minimal requirements from me. I do love to play with them. I feel like I didn't take the time as much with my two oldest and the years flew by. I am trying to savor it more this time around.

[Seeking Squirrels]

I play games and do puzzles and crafts, but I don't do pretend play. I've never liked that kind of play (for myself as an adult, I see the value for kids and encourage it for them!). The most I engage with this sort of play is if they come up to me and have a doll say something to me I might respond to the doll. I don't turn them away, I just don't actively engage with the play. 

 

But I feel we still have plenty of play things we do together. We do games often and I'll help them build things like marble runs or knex structures. They mostly do puzzles alone but sometimes they want me to do one with them and I don't mind that. 

[MEmama]

I used to, yes.

 

DS was never too much into toys or pretend play, but yes, I got on the floor and played cars with him for endless hours and whatever else he wanted to do. Games, puzzles, reading, outdoor activities...mostly he preferred structure to the "open playing" like some kids do.

 

Now at 14 it looks different. DH plays video games with him, and we still all play board games together. Sports are his primary "play" I suppose, and we are active participants with him whenever possible. It can be a challenge, though, because he is so much faster and stronger than we are. We struggle to find group rides for him, for example, because we can't bike as fast or as far as he can. He puts up with our limitations but we can't challenge him anymore, and being physically challenged is definitely fun and "play" for him.

[AmandaVT]

I do. I enjoy playing with him. He's an only, so no siblings to play with and as long as it's not pretend play (which I am terrible at!), I'm happy to join in. My mom never played with us when we were young, but my dad did sometimes and I have great memories of that. 

 

I'll play Lego, K'nex, puzzles, games, blocks, etc. Right now DS loves to write and we've been buddy writing a book together. 

[bookbard]

Thinking about this. 

 

Sometimes it feels like we expect kids to join 'our world' (chores etc that we've chosen) and yet never enter 'their world' (the things they've chosen and created). Standing outside and admiring it is one thing (great sweeping, mum!) but participating in it is something else. I think participating in their world is more powerful than just admiring. 

 

I always remember Dad talking about an aunt of his family, who was very gifted. She lived in an little old house and was always happy to have visitors. She loved you to join her world, her art etc. But she never visited others or participated or showed much interest in any one else's world. I always thought that was an interesting comment. 

 

 

[Julie Smith]

I don't do pretend games. I do wrestle.

 

They know I will happily play most board games with them whenever they want. I will even give them candy if they will play chess with me.

 

For playing, with the exception of wrestling they prefer each other or their father.