POLL- If they couldn't determine baby's gender at 20ish week ultrasound......

[Jacbeaumont]

What did you end up having?

 

Had an ultrasound for baby #4. I have 3 boys, so we definitely want to know if we need to go shopping or not. BUT of course due to bad some bad positioning, little hands blocking and closed legs... We couldn't see a thing. The tech said the baby could be a girl, but she wasn't willing to go out on a limb.

 

Which leads me to the poll questions....if they couldn't determine gender at your anatomical scan, what did you end up having?

 

We are thinking about a gender determination at a 3D Clinic... we can't handle the suspense.

 

 

:)

 

 

[Miss Peregrine]

Girl.

[Melissa in Australia]

We purposely left it for a suprise with all of ours. I have never understood people finding out.

I have always thought it is a bit like opening a present before you are given it. A friend once told me that not knowing what sex the baby is always helps her in labour to give that bit more effort in the last few pushes

[catz]

Well I have a SIL that was told boy at 20 weeks, that was her only ultrasound, and she had a girl.  So if the tech was unwilling to call it, I wouldn't put any stock in a guess one way or another!  If you really want to know, get the scan.  :) 

Edited January 17, 2017 by WoolySocks

[Jacbeaumont]

We purposely left it for a suprise with all of ours. I have never understood people finding out.

I have always thought it is a bit like opening a present before you are given it. A friend once told me that not knowing what sex the baby is always helps her in labour to give that bit more effort in the last few pushes

 

I applaud those who can wait! My husband is not doing too well not knowing. He is a super planner. He needs to know whether or not we need to budget new clothes. Poor guy. 

[Jacbeaumont]

Well I have a SIL that was told boy at 20 weeks, that was her only ultrasound, and she had a girl.  So if the tech was unwilling to call it, I wouldn't put any stock in a guess one way or another!  If you really want to know, get the scan.  :)

 

Interesting! 

[catz]

Interesting! 

 

As an aside, I love your profile pic!  You have a beautiful family and congrats on your new addition!  :thumbup:

[AK_Mom4]

Get the extra scan if it really matters to you.  We never knew any of ours in advance except for DD15 - we found out she was a girl two days before she was born thanks to needing a US due to being transverse.

 

re: the clothes thing.... DD23 wore blues and greens for the first two years, except for dresses the grandmas sent.  I wasn't going to waste all those lovely baby clothes that were in great condition from her fast-growing brother.  She looked lovely!  Clip a bow in her hair and don't stress it.

 

 

[cjzimmer1]

We purposely left it for a suprise with all of ours. I have never understood people finding out.

 

 

And I'm the complete opposite, I can't understand why anyone would want to wait.  Much easier to plan, pick out a name, etc when I know the gender, not knowing means I have to put twice the effort into picking out a name and having clothes.  But I HATE surprises and have always much preferred gifts where I already know what's in the package.

[Arcadia]

They thought my brother was a girl from the ultrasounds my mom had. For both my kids, we knew by the 12th week ultrasound. I had an amniocentesis for my secondborn so the results confirmed what the ultrasound showed.

[Ailaena]

I'm one of those that like to be surprised, but my cousin's doc couldn't tell with either of her kids at 20weeks and they were both boys!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

We couldn't tell with our second, and she was a girl. 

 

And I'm the complete opposite, I can't understand why anyone would want to wait.  Much easier to plan, pick out a name, etc when I know the gender, not knowing means I have to put twice the effort into picking out a name and having clothes.  But I HATE surprises and have always much preferred gifts where I already know what's in the package.

 

I feel the same way. I didn't feel as bonded through my second pregnancy compared with my first because I couldn't envision who was in there, who I was talking to, who I was planning for, etc.

 

I also read the end of suspenseful novels and look up spoilers on suspenseful TV shows. I enjoy the journey a lot more when I'm not focused on the big ending!

[Jacbeaumont]

As an aside, I love your profile pic!  You have a beautiful family and congrats on your new addition!  :thumbup:

:blushing:  :blushing:  :blushing:

 

Thanks!

[mohsmom23]

My first baby didn't cooperate at our 16 week u/s nor at one when I was about 28 weeks along.  It wasn't until I was 32 weeks until she finally decided to cooperate and we found out she was a girl.   Elective u/s were not an option when I was pg with her, but I would totally go for it if you really want to know!!

 

 

[Loowit]

They couldn't tell when I was pg with DD.  We didn't want to know with our second and they couldn't tell anyway.  So one girl and one boy.  DH really wanted to know with our third.  They said it was a boy.  We had to do a follow up ultrasound something they wanted a closer look at and they said it still looked like a boy and he was.  However, a friend who had a baby a month later than me told me that out of her birthing class two of the moms were told they were having but it turned out to be wrong.

[BearWallowSchool]

Girl.

[Janeway]

After three boys, you don't want to get your hopes up. Go to the doctor and beg for another sonogram. That is what I would do anyway.

[Janeway]

We couldn't tell with our second, and she was a girl.

 

 

I feel the same way. I didn't feel as bonded through my second pregnancy compared with my first because I couldn't envision who was in there, who I was talking to, who I was planning for, etc.

 

I also read the end of suspenseful novels and look up spoilers on suspenseful TV shows. I enjoy the journey a lot more when I'm not focused on the big ending!

me too. I always have to

Jump to the end or I don't enjoy the middle of the book.

[barnwife]

Well, 4 kids into this parenting thing, I have never had an ultrasound. We have a boy, followed by a girl, and then 2 more boys. I like DH being able to tell me after the birth.

Furthermore, I wouldn't go to an elective place, especially not a 3D one. It is my opinion that 3D u/s are incredibly creepy looking.  I believe u/s is a medical diagnostic tool. Not something that should be used willy-nilly. Especially for a reason like choosing clothes (baby doesn't care what he/she wears and there are plenty of gender neutral options for NBs). 

Before anyone gets upset, the above paragraph applies to me. It includes my opinions. Others are free to disagree. Heck, some of my closest friends are polar opposites about these things.

[AHASRADA]

Exact same scenario, arms between legs, couldn't see. It was a girl.

[shawthorne44]

And I'm the complete opposite, I can't understand why anyone would want to wait.  Much easier to plan, pick out a name, etc when I know the gender, not knowing means I have to put twice the effort into picking out a name and having clothes.  But I HATE surprises and have always much preferred gifts where I already know what's in the package.

 

 

Me too!   

 

Especially since the gender wouldn't have been in the top 20 list of exciting things from that day.   "Healthy Baby" and "Continual feeling of needing to Pee is gone" were the top 20.   "Girl" would have been behind the 6th or 7th happiness about my kidneys.  Knowing ahead of time allowed the excitement to be stretched out.  

 

But to answer the question, when PG I met a dad of a 4-year-old boy.   The boy had been ultrasounded three times and told it was a girl.   Fourth ultrasound said "Definitely a boy"  This was after they'd completely outfitted the nursery in unending pink in non-returnable nursery stuff that they got on sale.  So, until the amnio, I wasn't really certain we were having a girl.  We'd had one US that I called the Neverending Ultrasound.   It was with the high-risk doctor and I could tell he had just seen something disturbing, and looking at our healthy baby soothed him.  We even counted the ribs.  I STILL wasn't 100% certain.   

[Cinder]

I was in the military while pregnant with ds1 and they were very short-staffed in the ob-gyn clinic so no ultrasounds unless medically necessary. My ob with ds2 was old school and didn't think ultrasounds were needed if it was a healthy pregnancy, so again no u/s. Dd was the only one I had a u/s with and the tech said girl. So to sum up: pizza.

[ScoutTN]

We purposely left it for a suprise with all of ours. I have never understood people finding out.

I have always thought it is a bit like opening a present before you are given it. A friend once told me that not knowing what sex the baby is always helps her in labour to give that bit more effort in the last few pushes

 

 

It is always a surprise, just a difference in timing. Surprise at 20 wks or around 40 wks.  :D

[No More Perfect]

They couldn't tell with our first. Went to an elective sonogram place and couldn't tell. They gave us a freebie since they couldn't tell us. Finally, after that second one (or really, the third total) we were told boy. Yay!

 

Baby was born and was a. . . girl.

[UCF612]

My second child we were told "girl, no...boy, no...girl. I don't know!" The OB told me after watching the u/s video that "there wasn't a clear shot but if I was a betting man I'd say it is a girl." Well I hope he isn't a betting man because my second child is all boy!

[Carrie12345]

They were uncertain with one of my girls, but were confident during a later scan.

With another, they had difficulty getting a good shot, but we had already had genetic testing. He was a boy.

 

So... yeah, one of those!

[maize]

When I haven't known I mostly make sure I have some gender neutral clothes (greens and yellows) plus maybe a pink onesie because...they're cute.

 

If it's a girl there's no reason she can't start out with mostly her brother's hand me downs and you can get a more girlie wardrobe later.

 

My FIL started out his life all in pink because he already had an older brother and everyone was predicting he would be a girl :)

 

I wouldn't personally do a 3D ultrasound because there are still some questions about the safety of non-diagnostic ultrasound.

Edited January 17, 2017 by maize

[abba12]

We purposely left it for a suprise with all of ours. I have never understood people finding out.

I have always thought it is a bit like opening a present before you are given it. A friend once told me that not knowing what sex the baby is always helps her in labour to give that bit more effort in the last few pushes

 

That's exactly what my MIL says (not the same lady is it? lol, because, you know, all Australians know each other or something)

I'm the polar opposite though. For me, that baby is already a life and a person even while still inside me, I guess for me the gift is conception, not birth, so there's no 'gift to open', birth is just the next stage, the gift was this baby coming into existence at all. So I want to know everything about it that I can, I want to bond with it and knowing the gender helps with that process for me because I can begin thinking names, and pronouns other than 'it', and preparing a little better, personalising my preparations for this child rather than this-or-that-neutural child.

 

Second DD kept herself a surprise and it was not a happy thing at all. I felt far less bonded to her during the pregnancy, and far more anxiety over feeling unable to prepare. (not to mention wanting to punch in the fact the multiple women who, when I expressed my disappointed, responded with statements like 'Good! We aren't meant to know the gender anyway, I never found out with any of mine, it will help you in labour, just see' after having been personally offended that I found out my first baby's gender. Looking at you MIL!).

 

I don't think either way is right or wrong, I suppose I see the appeal of the surprise, and the encouragement in labour (pushing isn't so much a problem in my labours... lol, stopping baby from shooting out in a single push is more our situation!) But I am absolutely 100% certain that the surprise isn't for me lol. 

[fraidycat]

I voted pizza because we went for the surprise factor at birth with both of ours, but I wanted to vote. :)

[justasque]

...My husband is not doing too well not knowing. He is a super planner. He needs to know whether or not we need to budget new clothes. Poor guy. 

 

 

...re: the clothes thing.... DD23 wore blues and greens for the first two years, except for dresses the grandmas sent.  I wasn't going to waste all those lovely baby clothes that were in great condition from her fast-growing brother.  She looked lovely!  Clip a bow in her hair and don't stress it.

 

 

When I haven't known I mostly make sure I have some gender neutral clothes (greens and yellows) plus maybe a pink onesie because...they're cute.

 

If it's a girl there's no reason she can't start out with mostly her brother's hand me downs and you can get a more girlie wardrobe later.

 

My FIL started out his life all in pink because he already had an older brother and everyone was predicting he would be a girl :)...

It is probably cheaper to hit the Goodwill and pick up a few nice things for each gender than it is to pay for the elective ultrasound.  And if your friends and family are anything like mine, if you end up with a girl after all boys, they will not be able to resist gifting or handing down a ton of girl stuff. 

[Guest]

There weren't multiple options - I have had it happen twice, once was a boy and once was a girl. The boy they figured out in the last five minutes of an hour scan after swearing he was a girl, and this was a sonographer with 20 years' experience. The girl just kept sitting cross legged and we saw it on a 28 week 3-d vanity scan.

[Jacbeaumont]

I am quite shocked at the number of "mistaken identities"! I didn't realize how common it was. I'm surprised I haven't come across this with friends of mine IRL!

 

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[wendyroo]

re: the clothes thing.... DD23 wore blues and greens for the first two years, except for dresses the grandmas sent.  I wasn't going to waste all those lovely baby clothes that were in great condition from her fast-growing brother.  She looked lovely!  Clip a bow in her hair and don't stress it.

 

Yep, with three older brothers, Audrey wears plenty of blue and green and brown.  

 

It is an inside joke between the older kids and I...when we are out and about and someone asks "his" name then we all simply reply Owen, because that is what she would have been named if she was a boy.

 

Over the last year I have picked up a couple slightly more girly shirts at the Goodwill, but I still just pair them with hand-me-down black/navy/red/brown pants.

 

Wendy

[PrairieSong]

We haven't had many late term ultrasounds (seven kids) and the couple we did have, they couldn't tell. When our oldest was born, a nurse said "it's a boy" and dh said "it's a girl". Dh was right. Not sure how the nurse got it wrong AFTER the birth.

 

Sent from my XT1635-01 using Tapatalk

[happypamama]

We've only tried to find out once, and right away, the tech said boy, but then she couldn't reproduce that. At the end she said it looked like maybe girl parts. So we left without knowing.

 

We found out via genetic testing a few weeks later that he was a boy, even though we still couldn't see on a later u/s what he was. Fwiw, that first u/s is what told us he had growth issues (due to asymptomatic-at-the-time preeclampsia), which got us to a specialist, who ultimately saved my life and gave my son a few weeks, so it wasn't totally frustrating that we couldn't see the gender.

[Outdoorsy Type]

My third was almost unable to find the sex because of location and crossed legs. It was a boy.

[luuknam]

The tech was 75% sure it was a girl - that they were pretty sure that they could see what this site calls the hamburger sign (that's not what the tech called it, but anyway):

 

https://www.verywell.com/fun-ways-to-find-out-the-sex-of-your-baby-2758372

 

In a later ultrasound, the tech said they were 100% sure it was a boy. Broccoli is, indeed, a boy, though with his long hair and gold winter coat he still confuses people sometimes.

[ktgrok]

Well I have a SIL that was told boy at 20 weeks, that was her only ultrasound, and she had a girl.  So if the tech was unwilling to call it, I wouldn't put any stock in a guess one way or another!  If you really want to know, get the scan.  :)

 

That happened to my parents! My sister was supposed to be a boy. Very confusing to my mother who had general anesthesia for a c-section and woke up with a girl baby!

[happypamama]

That happened to my parents! My sister was supposed to be a boy. Very confusing to my mother who had general anesthesia for a c-section and woke up with a girl baby!

A couple of days after Nate was born, it occurred me to me that because I was under general and DH wasn't there, neither of us actually knew for sure that he was indeed a boy because we hadn't been there for a diaper change yet. I did ask one of his nurses to verify that he was actually a boy. It was pretty funny!

[Melissa in Australia]

I applaud those who can wait! My husband is not doing too well not knowing. He is a super planner. He needs to know whether or not we need to budget new clothes. Poor guy. 

I never bought any new baby clothes. they grow so fast that the Op Shops are full of next to new beautiful baby clothes for 50 cents each.

[Jacbeaumont]

I never bought any new baby clothes. they grow so fast that the Op Shops are full of next to new beautiful baby clothes for 50 cents each.

 

I wish our thrift stores were that cheap! Good condition clothes here are still $5 a piece. Good condition and still in style tend to be more. 

[Jacbeaumont]

We couldn't tell with our second, and she was a girl. 

 

 

I feel the same way. I didn't feel as bonded through my second pregnancy compared with my first because I couldn't envision who was in there, who I was talking to, who I was planning for, etc.

 

I also read the end of suspenseful novels and look up spoilers on suspenseful TV shows. I enjoy the journey a lot more when I'm not focused on the big ending!

 

I totally agree with the bolded!

 

 

It is probably cheaper to hit the Goodwill and pick up a few nice things for each gender than it is to pay for the elective ultrasound.  And if your friends and family are anything like mine, if you end up with a girl after all boys, they will not be able to resist gifting or handing down a ton of girl stuff. 

 

That is what we are hoping for...Two girls in the family born in the last year....hoping they want to get rid of some things. :)

 

There weren't multiple options - I have had it happen twice, once was a boy and once was a girl. The boy they figured out in the last five minutes of an hour scan after swearing he was a girl, and this was a sonographer with 20 years' experience. The girl just kept sitting cross legged and we saw it on a 28 week 3-d vanity scan.

 

Lol, I didn't put more options as I didn't think this was all that common!

[redsquirrel]

My pregnancies were always so planned that I liked having the surprise of not knowing the gender before they were born. Picking out 2 names etc wasn't a hardship for me, it was fun. And I've never been one to worry about what colour a baby wears, so I just had some sleepers that I thought were cute and that was good enough. 

[Evergreen State Sue]

There was a first time mother where I worked who was told she was having a girl.  She had the pink baby shower and everything.  She ended up delivering a boy.  That's one of the reasons I didn't want to know ahead of time.  I was afraid I would have my mind set on one sex and then have the opposite.  Then I would wonder what happened to the baby I thought I was having.  I think, though, if I had 3 boys, I would want to know if I was having a girl.  It would give me time to get over the disappointment of not having a girl (if that was the case).  If it turned out the tech was wrong and I did have a girl, I would be thrilled.  I'm sure you'd be thrilled with either. I believe every baby is special. 

[Selkie]

With our first, it was pretty clear from the ultrasound that we were having a boy.

 

Our second refused to cooperate, legs crossed and hands in the way, and the tech couldn't get a good look. I had another ultrasound at the doctor's office late in the pregnancy and that's when we found out it was another boy.

 

With our third, the tech told us she got a clear look and it was a girl - but then as we were leaving, she said, "Go buy some pink clothes...but be sure to leave the tags on in case I'm wrong!" So I went through the pregnancy telling everyone that we think it's a girl but we're not positive. Turns out she was right and it was a girl!

 

 

 

Edited January 18, 2017 by Selkie

[Elizabeth 2]

First was a boy. I still wasn't sure at birth and had to check.

Second was unknown until birth. I am the most bonded with him because I focused on his personality as he was, not attributing something he did to his sex. DH had gender disappointment for the second half of the pregnancy, and I refused to be surrounded with such negativity.

Third we found out early because of life at the time. I did have them check each of the five ultrasounds to be sure, and it was obvious. Because we knew girl, we had clothes for her entire first two years from others who were not going to save clothes for the next four months in case we had a girl. We were given a car seat, clothes, etc that were girly which greatly pleased my husband.

[lovinmyboys]

I vote try to find out the sex. When I had 3 boys and was pregnant with my 4th, I found out as soon as I could which sex. I was so sick of people hoping for a girl and I didn't want to get their hopes up (I was fine either way). I also was worried someone would seem disappointed after the baby was born if it turned out to be a boy. I was very over sensitive about it. We had a healthy baby boy and everyone just said congratulations 😀.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I had two modest babies who just wouldn't show anything!  One turned out to be a girl, and the other was a boy.

 

Third baby was a girl, but I had to have weekly ultrasounds with her.  She always showed herself to be a girl.  

[emmaluv+2more]

I vote try to find out the sex. When I had 3 boys and was pregnant with my 4th, I found out as soon as I could which sex. I was so sick of people hoping for a girl and I didn't want to get their hopes up (I was fine either way). I also was worried someone would seem disappointed after the baby was born if it turned out to be a boy. I was very over sensitive about it. We had a healthy baby boy and everyone just said congratulations 😀.

 

Ha!  This sounds just like me, but with girls.  I've always found out the sex, but considered (briefly) letting the 4th be a surprise.  I got so incredibly tired of everyone making comments about maybe finally getting a boy that I simply had to find out just to shut them up.  

[zyxwvut]

I applaud those who can wait! My husband is not doing too well not knowing. He is a super planner. He needs to know whether or not we need to budget new clothes. Poor guy. 

 

Tell him you need new clothes!  After my 3rd of the same kind in a row, I was ready to look at some new outfits!