Poll: How many afternoons out of the house are effective for you/your kids?

[...................]

I have found that this year my kids have went YEARS backwards in their around-the-house level of responsibility.  We were so busy, busy, busy that we were not on a schedule or routine for chores, laundry, helping with meals etc.  Though we had a very interesting year in some respects I have found that my stress level is way too high and their ability to have the time and me to have the patience to look after what they're doing around the house is at an all-time low.  

 

Instead of having a chore system and regularly inspecting, and training with patience, I ended up doing 90% of it myself and then asking them to pitch in.  Their level of surprise and anger at never knowing what was expected went through the roof.  (Surprise for my son, full out anger for my daughter).  I realize that it's my fault for not having and keeping them accountable to do things as and when and how they are assigned.

 

So, I am going to make some changes especially for me and my dd.  That's why the poll.  

[Ellie]

Outside of the house with other people? One. That's it.

 

Outside with my dc to the library, or on our own private field trips, I can handle that. Our schedule, our plans, it's all good. Dance classes in the afternoon or early evening, it's all good. Other people's schedules, in the middle of the day, other people's children, yeah...one.

Edited May 4, 2016 by Ellie

[SKL]

We're actually happier if we get out every day.

 

I admit my kids are not domestic geniuses, but I think they will be ready to keep house before they go to college.  :)

[SKL]

PS I took afternoon to mean after school.  Sorry if I misinterpreted your intent.

[regentrude]

What age are you talking about? What type of activities? Are you asking about me being out of the house, or the kids being out of the house?

My teen has something going on every afternoon and every evening of the week. (But I don't have to drive him anymore, yeah!)

In the middle grades, DD had one afternoon of choir and three afternoons at the barn.

 

We have never done chore charts or schedules. I don't schedule housework, it gets fit in the nooks and crannies of the day. Kids are expected to hep when asked. I am considerate and do not interrupt them in the middle of something with immediate demands. It all works fine and is very peaceful.

So I voted unlimited. Kids' activities have no bearing on peacefulness of the home.

 

My own limit: I don't like to have my own evening commitments (past 6pm)  for more than three days per week.

 

ETA: For me, it is a question of priorities. Choir, riding, DS' job, judo, TKD, my choir, woman's group, book club, hiking etc all rank WAY higher on my priority list than laundry and cleaning. So, our days reflect that. I work and have learned to be efficient with my time and make sure the things I consider priorities are done first.

Lest anybody think me a hopeless slob: no, we have enough clean clothes and clean dishes, and my home is ready for company without prior notice.

Edited May 1, 2016 by regentrude

[Garga]

We've narrowed it down to one evening a week out of the house. I would prefer no evenings. I could handle up to two, but wouldn't be happy.

 

We like to plan it so that we're out either Sat or Sun, but not both.

 

All four of us greatly enjoy our home-time. But that's just us. There are plenty of people who enjoy being out and about all week.

[Alice]

What age are you talking about? What type of activities? Are you asking about me being out of the house, or the kids being out of the house?

My teen has something going on every afternoon and every evening of the week. (But I don't have to drive him anymore, yeah!)

In the middle grades, DD had one afternoon of choir and three afternoons at the barn.

 

We have never done chore charts or schedules. I don't schedule housework, it gets fit in the nooks and crannies of the day. Kids are expected to hep when asked. I am considerate and do not interrupt them in the middle of something with immediate demands. It all works fine and is very peaceful.

So I voted unlimited. Kids' activities have no bearing on peacefulness of the home.

 

My own limit: I don't like to have my own evening commitments (past 6pm)  for more than three days per week.

 

Almost exactly this, except I don't have teens. 

 

We're out almost every day. We don't do chore charts or schedules. We more just all work together to get done what's needed. 

[kristin0713]

Afternoons are not so bad but the mornings are a killer. We have one full day where we are at CC, and usually a couple other afternoons out but with the condition that schoolwork is done first. I've been trying to add more chores to their resooinsibilities and it's hard. It's easier and faster if I do it :-/ but I know in the long run I need them to do it.

[Critterfixer]

One is sufficient. We enjoy our library night. 

[UCF612]

Depends on what you mean by afternoon I guess.  We have an activity every day (swim 4 days a week, piano 1 day a week, soccer 2 days a week).  But they don't start until around 4 or later (soccer is at 6).  We are usually done with school around 1 most days.  So we have from at least 1pm to 4pm free every day.  I try to keep those hours event free.  I NEED those hours to myself and the kids NEED those hours to just be and to play and to decompress. 

[Miss Tick]

No mornings, one afternoon. There are one or two extracurriculars every evening. They schedule doing their chores and practicing so that those get done with minimal hassle all around. It is good practice for self-scheduling and balancing workload. I'm always open for discussion if somebody needs to change something around. As long as there is a plan, I'm not stressed.

[MrsRobinson]

I voted 3. One is an evening out after dinner. The other 2 are after lunch afternoons out. Those are harder because school work can't spill over into afternoon those days. But we are home in time for dinner and a relaxing evening so it balances out. I'm pretty happy with our current schedule.

 

Those 3 days are not the days I let the kids help with dinner. I just need to get it done. I let them help the other 2 days plus weekends.

[Jackie]

I voted unlimited, but feel like adding the caveat that I have one child, who is still pretty young. We are out of the house at something (often 2-3 somethings) every single day. Formal schooling is scheduled for two hours a day. It works for us now, but I can see something having to give down the line when school fills more hours of the day.

[3 ladybugs]

My kids? They are 7 and 2. None is best. 1 every now and then is okay. Mornings are time for us to get out of the house. I was doing 1 morning a week but now I have to do 2. Hopefully we will do alright.

[Farrar]

I'm learning that we can do the whole week out *if* it's after school hours. So anything 4 pm or after is kosher. Before that, um, once a week maybe twice.

[deerforest]

DD has an activity after she finishes her school stuff most every day. But, it's DH dropping her off in between work stuff. We are done with school by noon (we start between 6-7am) so some are early afternoon but many are in the evening.

[Hobbes]

My kids are 8, 6, 2, 2 months. Our current school week has one morning out (at a women's Bible study/homeschool class) and one afternoon-evening (at Grandma's house). We only school in the mornings and the afternoons are for quiet time, outdoor play, projects, etc.

 

We occasionally have extra outings in a week but they are as rare as possible. Much more than our norm and things get a little haywire.

[Coco_Clark]

We spend at least 3 afternoons out a week, I prefer to schedule things for the afternoon vs the evening when I can. I do try to have one full "stay home day" where we don't go ANYWHERE each week and as long as I've got that I'm ok. We school in the morning.

 

With co-op, weekly nature study/hiking, piano lessons, Boy Scouts, sports, church, a library day, ect...I'm assuming I'm misunderstanding the question if there are people that get away with being out in the afternoon only once a week?!?

 

That being said, our relative busy schedule doesn't effect chores. They are build into our schedule as much as our scheduled time outside of the house. And, when we aren't home, we aren't making a mess ;)

Edited May 2, 2016 by Coco_Clark

[Arcadia]

My home is a small one bedroom unit. So my kids don't have chores but do have personal responsibilities like wash their own utensils and plates/bowls and put away their clean laundry.

 

My kids cook their own meals if they want to but they don't have to help me with meal prep as our meals don't require much prep.

 

We do have a routine/fixed schedule for every day of the week and kids used to go to public school so even if we are out every day, our routine isn't affected.

[Peaceful Isle]

We usually clean the house together on Saturdays afternoon, after the boys' sports/ games. We have Friday, where two of my kids are in a outsourced class, and Wednesday is our family/ field trip day with daddy. It's his day off. Of course there is church on Sunday and a midweek service with kids club. Sometimes a teen activity on Saturday evenings.

 

That's about all I can handle. I need Monday, Tuesday , Thursday , and Friday afternoon to get school stuff done. My girls do the dishes after dinner quite frequently, and my son will wipe the table down, vacuum and tiddy up.

 

My kids never really get upset. They do give me the "looks", puppy eyes for some, roll eyes for others, big heavy sighs from another,....but it's all good and it gets done.

[HS Mom in NC]

If you mean after school is done (between 3 and 4 depending on how our day started) then 2 afternoons out is peaceful and the 3 we actually do is somewhat stressful.  We have to schedule our daily/weekly chores with our afternoons/evenings out in mind because I won't spend weekends doing weekly chores-only daily ones.

 

When I was homeschooling 3 kids afternoons out were stressful before the older kids could drive.  I have a wide age spread which can making things harder.

[Momto4inSoCal]

One would be ideal for me especially since I'm an introvert and I feel exausted after spending a long time out. Co-ops wipe me out. I have allowed 1 activity for each set of my kids. My girls get to pick one and my twins get one. Right now it's dance and jiu jitsu. Dance is 2x a week and jiu-jitsu is 2x a week. We also attend a womans study 1x a week. I take summers off other than swim for the ones that need to learn. Eta: i forgot about the peaceful part. I do feel like my house is not as clean as it should be and I have majorly slacked on keeping the kids on top of chores. I have a checklist for them that I was great about at the beginning of the year but now it happens maybe 25% of the time. I think 2x a week would be our max to feel like I have time to keep on top of everything but I will deal with the caos realizing eventually things will calm down.

Edited May 2, 2016 by Momto4inSoCal

[SanDiegoMom]

I said three, although it's not every kid every day- my dd has ballet 3 days per week and my son has swim 3 days per week, though they overlap and dh helps, so now that I think about it I'm out four nights! But swim is so close it doesn't really count in my mind- ballet is a 30 minute drive and 2 hours long so that's the biggie!

 

We do all of the big chores during the weekend- family chore day. Twice a month I cook five meals (doubled) for the next two weeks. So during the week all that needs to be done is kitchen stuff and decluttering. But we don't keep the house sparkling- we do ok with clutter as long as it's neat clutter:-)

[73349]

Our ideal week (one child, age 8) is

Monday afternoon at the Y,

Tuesday: homeschool PE,

Wednesday: housework,

Thursday: baking,

Friday: piano lesson and library.

 

We have an hour and a half of quiet time every afternoon, and it works best for us to always be home for the day by 5.

[RootAnn]

I originally voted one, but realized that two is actually the norm and not that bad. I prefer zero. Three is too much for us, although we had a year with four. After that experience, we asked the kids to cut out either gymnastics or horseback riding. They couldn't decide, and in the end, both went.

 

Sanity means less activities for me. Many of the kids would tell you they like more activities, but with as many kids as I have, we just can't accommodate them all.

[Holly]

I voted one, but my DC would probably vote for multiple times per week.  lol

 

Currently, we have 1 afternoon for piano, library, and grocery store/errands.  I drop two kids off, run errands, switch kids, then run more errands.  Often we save the library for last so we can all go, other times I just take who wants to go while the other two are in their lesson.   Sometimes I make a separate shopping trip for groceries, but I try to keep this early or late in the day, so it doesn't interfere with school.

 

Ideally, I'd like to fit in a co-op day as well, but I haven't gotten involved with a co-op since we moved.  We can usually still get school accomplished on piano day, even if I have to lighten it a bit (or take some of it along).  We often save math worksheets or literature/history readings for while they are waiting for their lesson.

 

Previously we had co-op and piano on the same day.  While it made for a long day, I was too tired after co-op to get much done anyway.  If things went well, I had dinner waiting in the crock pot.  We usually just aimed for math and I spent the mornings preparing for co-op and they could finish up co-op projects if needed.  We also had gymnastics and/or softball/baseball on multiple nights.  Since it was all in town, it was only crazy during baseball/softball season.

[Tenaj]

I'd vote zero - LOL!  

 

Right now we're heavy into baseball season so we have five kids playing on six different teams and it is crazy busy.  Thankfully one of my olders is still available to drive most of the time and he's been taking on some of the driving to practices and such.  For the past month, I'm gone four of the five weekday late afternoon through early evening and it's going o.k. but I don't like how I have to be constantly thinking and planning in order to make it work.  I've been joking the past few weeks that rain-outs are necessary at least once a week in order for me to keep my sanity :)

 

I love leisurely afternoons and evenings but I've had to adjust.  We have super busy seasons centered around sports:  baseball (April/May/June), Soccer (Sept/Oct) and Basketball (October through Feb).   I'm willing to do it because we use sports as our main social activity for all the kids.  They form their friendships there so it's important and I'm willing to deal with the fall-out of the chaotic family life for those seasons.  I just play catch-up during the off-seasons.

 

 

Edited May 2, 2016 by JanOH

[rebcoola]

I love having afternoons out!!   My kids know that if they don't get their lists done they won't go it helps our day run more smoothly.  

[arliemaria]

My ds has TKD on Monday evenings begins at 6:30 (dds play on playground while he is in class), Greek School on Tuesdays 5:45 (the rest of the family attends Vespers while he is in class), Cub Scouts on Thursdays 7.  Tuesdays we have poetry tea and usually a neighbor homeschool kid will join us. Thursday afternoons I like to take them out somewhere like a nature conservation area.  Friday is our project day with usually library time in the afternoon.  I hope we can do swim lessons during the summer since we will not have Greek School or regular Cub Scout meetings. This has worked well for us.

 

I don't know how this will work when my dds are older.  I know my middle child will probably want to do children's choir.  That is two days a week.  I don't know if I will allow it because it will be a big time commitment.  I also think I would like to add 4-H when they are 8 or so.  That is when 4-H began when I was in WV as a child.  MO has a clover program, but it is a different program.  I have not had the interest to actually began a club or drive to a club for this level.  I also debate routinely with to coop or not to coop.

[...................]

Thanks for all your input!  Yes, I did mean specifically afternoons, as I find evenings out are a whole different dynamic (and have their own pros and cons of course)...but afternoons quite specially allow free time, quiet time, tinkering around the house, reading, doing chores together, and generally getting things done in a peaceful when.  

 

When my kids are always out, and I am always driving them around, a lot of things suffer.

 

I think next year I am going to tell the kids to each pick TWO of their favorite activities and leave it at that.  For my son it'll be swimming and Botball of course.  For my dd, it'll be WAY more complicated...she has a large variety of interests (mostly art-related) and they are all over town.  She also gets just as grumpy from being too lonely as she does from being over-stimulated and not having time to do her own thing...figuring out a balance will be a lot harder.  The poll results are really interesting and helpful.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah lot of factors here.  I have one who was a homebody until fairly recently, but he can go out on his own now.  The other kid would probably love to be out 8 days a week.  At the moment it's usually 4. 

 

I don't have a chore system.  I just ask for help.  Luckily my kids don't scoff.  But being very honest, I do do most of the work still.  What I expect out of them though is that they clean up after themselves.  And I do have to remind them of that regularly still.  

[Farrar]

I find it hard to find afternoon activities, honestly. ds has an afternoon thing at a maker space. When we were doing DI, I ran it in the afternoons, but I chose the time. Everything else we've had - for years - has started at 5 pm or later. Ds's ballet ends at 7:30. Other ds's rehearsals usually end at 8:30. I've love to have more activities that were 3-5 or even 4-6, but they seem few and far between.

[BlsdMama]

Shoot me first.  No, afternoons are necessary for naps, reading, down time.

[againstthegrain]

Two is my max and it often feels like 2 is stretching it. Right now we have a co-op group wed and girl scouts wed afternoons. everything else is evenings.

Edited May 3, 2016 by againstthegrain

[JumpyTheFrog]

Introvert here. That said, here is the weekly breakdown for me:

 

Mon: gone 4:15-9:15

Tues: same as Mon

Wed: gone 5-7:45

Thurs: same as Mon

 

Sat: gone 1.5-2 hours for soccer

Sun: gone 1.5 hours for church

 

There is nothing peaceful about my house, but that is largely due to the intense personality and energy level of DS1. Keeping him home most evenings would make things worse.

 

When I start to feel panicky is when we also have more than one early afternoon event per week. Trying to teach a three day soccer camp for 1.5 hours, zip home, and then leave for gymnastics an hour later was a mistake.

[Farrar]

I don't totally understand what being an introvert has to do with activities. I mean, I'm an introvert. I don't love lugging the kids around to things, but I have almost zero people interaction. I let the children out of the car. I pull back up in the car and let them get back in. If it's too short, I sit and read or write at a cafe and eat pastry. Co-op means turning my extroversion on and so do some during the day homeschool activities, but not most of the kids' classes. If anything, it's a break from interacting with the kids.

[Tsuga]

Okay, I'm skewing this.

 

I work outside the home. I have worked since DD2 was 6 months (from home) and outside the home since DD2 was 2.5. So, they understand that my being away is not "time to make the crazy happen".

 

However, that is not to say that a break in routine doesn't screw us up massively. Oh, it does. It's basically like going back to caveman times.

 

It is just that my leaving is not a break in routine.

 

So my suggestion is to schedule your breaks and have them be very predictable, lead up to them in predictable ways, come down from them in predictable ways. Otherwise they will think, "Oh, no goldfish this Tuesday? Maybe we can also not pee in the toilet. Also perhaps gravity has ceased to function. After all, no goldfish following nap time. Hence, the rules of the universe have ceased to function." (I am only half joking here. For real. Some kids simply don't function outside of routine.)

Edited May 3, 2016 by Tsuga

[Ausmumof3]

I voted three but it depends on the nature of it. That would be tae kwon do, groceries and the library. We can handle maybe one more out and fun day with others but two or more days where we are out for a long time with unscheduled plans gets crazy.

[Hilltopmom]

I fondly remember when the big kids were little & we only went to town once a week.

 

Now- teens have something going on 6 days a week, sometimes 7. Some overlap, at least & almost all are drop off activities- dance, robotics, etc I just pull up & drop them off! 4H I usually go in & hang out so the little ones can play with the other little siblings. Our co op is coming to an end.

 

I hate being out late afternoon when I'd like to be home doing naps & dinner prep.

I dint like going out in the morning either though, lol.

 

This is our first year with after dinner activities & that's going well- I get the littles ready for bed then leave them with dh to tuck in & I take the big kids to town & get groceries late without littles:)

[Bluegoat]

I haven't voted because I am not sure what to put.

 

We get our academic stuff done in the morning if at all possible.  If it goes into the afternoon it is never as effective - the kids don't focus and also there are ther things that need to be done.

 

Afternoon things for us can be at home, but if they are out they may be errands, appointments, homeschool trips, or social.  If we do too many of any it starts to seem crazy.

 

I find I like two days a week pretty much "at home".  However, I find even then it is best if we can get in a walk or substantial amount of time outside.  If the weather is so bad we stay in all day I often find myself putting a show on mid-afternoon because I need a break from the kids.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I don't totally understand what being an introvert has to do with activities. I mean, I'm an introvert. I don't love lugging the kids around to things, but I have almost zero people interaction....If anything, it's a break from interacting with the kids.

I like the break from interacting with the kids as well. I only mentioned because over the years I have seen so many people posting that they only go out once or twice a week because they are introverts or because they "are just a homebody." Sometimes I want to shout, "You may need to get out of your comfort zone, for the sake of your kids!" I get the impression that some people severely limit activities not because it is truly best for their family, but because they just don't feel like putting in the effort, even if it means some of their extroverted kids are wilting in the process.

 

My husband is an introvert, but he wishes his parents had been more willing to go places when he was a kid. He doesn't remember much of his childhood, possibly because they hardly left their town because they just didn't feel like it.

 

(Just in case you think I am being unfair, I was similarly concerned for any introverted kids when I heard a podcast about a family of nine living on the road for years in a converted school bus. It sounded like the free-spirited parents hadn't thought about if any of their kids might struggle with always being in such a noisy, chaotic environment with little escape.)

[Farrar]

I like the break from interacting with the kids as well. I only mentioned because over the years I have seen so many people posting that they only go out once or twice a week because they are introverts or because they "are just a homebody." Sometimes I want to shout, "You may need to get out of your comfort zone, for the sake of your kids!" I get the impression that some people severely limit activities not because it is truly best for their family, but because they just don't feel like putting in the effort, even if it means some of their extroverted kids are wilting in the process.

 

My husband is an introvert, but he wishes his parents had been more willing to go places when he was a kid. He doesn't remember much of his childhood, possibly because they hardly left their town because they just didn't feel like it.

 

(Just in case you think I am being unfair, I was similarly concerned for any introverted kids when I heard a podcast about a family of nine living on the road for years in a converted school bus. It sounded like the free-spirited parents hadn't thought about if any of their kids might struggle with always being in such a noisy, chaotic environment with little escape.)

 

Yes, I've had the same thoughts. I don't like to be judgey about it... I mean, different things can genuinely be right for different families. There's no one rule of thumb. But on the other hand, I hear a lot of people who seem to be using "I'm an introvert" as an excuse to not take their kids to activities. It's a good reason not to co-op, I guess, but I don't think it's a good primary reason not to sign your kid up for dance class or art lessons or whatever - things that don't require that you do anything but bring them there.

[Homeschoolmom3]

If you are talking about during the school week?  Definitely 1!  :-)

[Sherry in OH]

I find it hard to find afternoon activities, honestly. ds has an afternoon thing at a maker space. When we were doing DI, I ran it in the afternoons, but I chose the time. Everything else we've had - for years - has started at 5 pm or later. Ds's ballet ends at 7:30. Other ds's rehearsals usually end at 8:30. I've love to have more activities that were 3-5 or even 4-6, but they seem few and far between.

 

I would love activities between 3 and 6 pm, and then evenings at home.  Lessons are done by 3 pm.  Instead, homeschool options seem to be scheduled between 10 and 2 pm.  The earliest afterschool options start at 5:30 pm, 6:30 pm is more common for my children’s age groupings.   The only activity I have been able to arrange for late afternoon is piano lessons.

[amsunshine]

I wish it were less but my dds dance 6 days per week. Because of that (and bc I am I am INTJ, lol) we are very organized about schoolwork and chores. Sunday is our day to clean house - no exceptions.

[Reefgazer]

This is my life and I hate that I am so busy and stressed. DD has activities up the wazoo and every time I suggest cutting back she gives me static.  I hate pulling activities that are beneficial, but the stress is really taking it's toll on me.

I have found that this year my kids have went YEARS backwards in their around-the-house level of responsibility.  We were so busy, busy, busy that we were not on a schedule or routine for chores, laundry, helping with meals etc.  Though we had a very interesting year in some respects I have found that my stress level is way too high and their ability to have the time and me to have the patience to look after what they're doing around the house is at an all-time low.  

 

Instead of having a chore system and regularly inspecting, and training with patience, I ended up doing 90% of it myself and then asking them to pitch in.  Their level of surprise and anger at never knowing what was expected went through the roof.  (Surprise for my son, full out anger for my daughter).  I realize that it's my fault for not having and keeping them accountable to do things as and when and how they are assigned.

 

So, I am going to make some changes especially for me and my dd.  That's why the poll.  

 

[Reefgazer]

This is my life and I hate that I am so busy and stressed. DD has activities up the wazoo and every time I suggest cutting back she gives me static.  I hate pulling activities that are beneficial, but the stress is really taking it's toll on me.

I have found that this year my kids have went YEARS backwards in their around-the-house level of responsibility.  We were so busy, busy, busy that we were not on a schedule or routine for chores, laundry, helping with meals etc.  Though we had a very interesting year in some respects I have found that my stress level is way too high and their ability to have the time and me to have the patience to look after what they're doing around the house is at an all-time low.  

 

Instead of having a chore system and regularly inspecting, and training with patience, I ended up doing 90% of it myself and then asking them to pitch in.  Their level of surprise and anger at never knowing what was expected went through the roof.  (Surprise for my son, full out anger for my daughter).  I realize that it's my fault for not having and keeping them accountable to do things as and when and how they are assigned.

 

So, I am going to make some changes especially for me and my dd.  That's why the poll.  

 

[...................]

This is my life and I hate that I am so busy and stressed. DD has activities up the wazoo and every time I suggest cutting back she gives me static.  I hate pulling activities that are beneficial, but the stress is really taking it's toll on me.

 

something's gotta give...luckily summer will give both of us time off of the rat race, and to look back and really assess which activities were worth it, and which weren't.  Even the kids, when given time off have a chance to regroup and really examine the things they truly love and the things that can either go altogether or they can take a break from.  

 

I also have had to let my son ride his bike to places a few times this past month. For us It's not ideal, as we live in a very urban area and he does not have years and years of experience on the roads and sidewalks.  However, he really loved the freedom of biking and it turned out great in the end.  If I could get him independent on one or two more trips each week whether using public transportation or his bike, that would also be a big help for our stress level.  The kids enjoy biking or taking the bus but no mom enjoys sitting in traffic and having dead time waiting all over creation.  Of course, we often use the time in the car for loving, productive conversation and even very serious life issue conversations especially after swimming where he is exposed to some really ungodly behaviors and speech.  However, my idea still stands that getting the teens somewhat independent in transportation would reduce the stress level of the home.  :o)

 

But my 6th grader is going to have to cut back because she has never ending ideas of things to try, do and be involved in and I just keep saying yes. I have to learn to say no, or to replace one thing with another, rather than keep on saying "yes" :o)

[Arcadia]

But my 6th grader is going to have to cut back because she has never ending ideas of things to try, do and be involved in and I just keep saying yes. I have to learn to say no, or to replace one thing with another, rather than keep on saying "yes" :o)

I had an argument with my husband over our 5th grader for similar reasons.

 

We don't have evening activities and my kids outsourced classes generally end by 4pm so being out every afternoon isn't an issue. If we have evening activities then we would probably stay home in the afternoon on those days. Tomorrow my DS10 happen to have classes stretch out to morning, afternoon and evening because the evening one is a one off.

[Bluegoat]

I also find it hard to find a balance around times for activities.  I hate having too many evenings out it is too hectic.

 

One thing I've done, that may or may not come to fruition, is try and keep activities to places the kids will be able to go to themselves as they get older.  My dd11 walks to violin class, and my ds6 is in a ballet class he will be able to walk to, if he carries on, at the same age.  I am hoping that maybe dd can start taking teh bus next year.