Does your spouse work from home? Pros and Cons welcome.

[GAPeachie]

If so, what caught you by surprise?  (good and bad)  

 

DH has the opportunity to try for a remote position.  He'd have to go in 1 time a month.  

 

Some positives are that he'd gain 8+ hours a week (not terrible I know, but still) and our gas budget would go down.  He also could sporadically help me through some crazy times.  

 

So far in the negative column- we are worried about work/life balance.  It's much easier to not respond to email when it comes to your phone instead of having an office in your house.  Also, I'm worried about the noise levels.  We are moving and could use a bedroom upstairs for his office and I could continue to homeschool down stairs. 

 

I also feel that maybe not being in the office every day could potentially hurt his standing in the company.  Just as a "no time to create face to face relationships with people in the company. 

 

Any other thoughts?  

[kewb]

I hated when my husband worked from home. I think it would have been different if we had a separate office for him. We had to carve out a piece of the bedroom.

 

His being home really changed our household vibe. If we were too loud he would shout down from the ivory tower. You never knew when he would have to take a call so we walked on eggshells all the time.

 

He created more housework for me by leaving a mess in every room he went through.

 

He said it would be great because of no commuting and he would be around to help. That was not the case at all for us.

[Joker]

I don't know that we would enjoy it all if our dds were still homeschooling instead of in ps. He has trouble doing as much as he needs/should when dds are home. It hasn't hurt his standing as they need him. He also travels in but it's only every other month for us because it's an eight hour travel by planes kind of day for him to get there. It's actually rather draining for him when he has to go in because of the air travel and all the people that need his attention. Dh doesn't have trouble with balancing work and home as he sets up work hours and abides by them. He doesn't respond to work stuff after hours, even at home, unless it's seriously important. Those types of things would come via text so he just doesn't check emails or anything work related when he's done for the day or on the weekends. He also definitely needs his own work space, especially with children at home while he's working. 

 

On the plus side, it is awesome having him home all day. I'm home too and we're enjoying that downtime he has between meetings and such. He also really enjoys taking dds to and from school and being able to talk with them about their day in the car. He enjoys not having to spend time commuting in the car. 

 

[Seasider]

I hated when my husband worked from home. I think it would have been different if we had a separate office for him. We had to carve out a piece of the bedroom.

 

His being home really changed our household vibe. If we were too loud he would shout down from the ivory tower. You never knew when he would have to take a call so we walked on eggshells all the time.

 

He created more housework for me by leaving a mess in every room he went through.

 

He said it would be great because of no commuting and he would be around to help. That was not the case at all for us.

We've had similar experiences, even with dedicated office space. The expectation of daily lunch together, but on his timetable not ours - can't tell you how many times he popped his head in for a quick hello, only to break the stride of a challenging lesson that had been going well then had to be continued later because the focus was broken.

 

I have friends who like it, but I don't. It was hard when the kids were little and loud, hard when the kids were middle school doing tricky challenging math, harder now because there are fewer days I get the house alone to myself, which I regularly need for paperwork and introvert decompression!

 

It might work just fine for you, so much depends on your personalities. But I personally do not like it.

[desertflower]

I love that my dh works from home.  He has an office upstairs and I teach downstairs.  The disadvantages:

 

1.  We had to be quiet when he had phones calls, which was a lot when he was working for a company (He's an entrepreneur now.).  I had to resort to tv for this.  Sometimes if I knew he was going to be on the phone most of the day, I would take the kids to a museum.

2.  I couldn't clean upstairs.  My dc are young, so they follow me everywhere.

 

Pros:

 

1.  Helped me out in the mornings.

2.  Had lunch with him.

3.  The days doesn't seem as long because he can just come down once he's done.  Whereas, he wouldn't get home until 7 because of traffic. 

4.  I see him more often.  If he had to commute, he'd leave around 6 and won't be home until 7. 

5.  I dropped the proclick on my foot once and he had to come down to help me.  May not be a problem for you since your oldest is 13. 

6.  We only have 1 car note. 

 

Good luck and I hope this works out for you.

[desertflower]

We've had similar experiences, even with dedicated office space. The expectation of daily lunch together, but on his timetable not ours - can't tell you how many times he popped his head in for a quick hello, only to break the stride of a challenging lesson that had been going well then had to be continued later because the focus was broken.

 

I have friends who like it, but I don't. It was hard when the kids were little and loud, hard when the kids were middle school doing tricky challenging math, harder now because there are fewer days I get the house alone to myself, which I regularly need for paperwork and introvert decompression!

 

It might work just fine for you, so much depends on your personalities. But I personally do not like it.

 

This is true.  I forgot about that.  But that's okay with me as I don't have a strict schedule. 

 

 

 

[HS Mom in NC]

My husband has worked from home since 1997 when my oldest was a toddler and I was pregnant with my middle child. We wouldn't have it any other way.

 

1. Expect a transition time. 

Depending on everyone's ages and personalities this will vary in length. That means dad learning not to interrupt school unless that's something mom has agreed to and mom and kids learning that dad is off limits when he's working. Talk about it beforehand so everyone can be mindful of it as you make adjustments. Be eager for and calm listening to feedback from each other when you assess how it's going and what changes each person needs to make.

 

2.  Physical space matters.

 

I wouldn't even attempt it without a closed, designated room.  My husband writes software and is a consultant which is a very intellectual job.  We choose houses with dad's work space as our top priority.

3. Spouses need away time.

Seriously consider creating time where mom is away from home without dad and vice versa.  Even most introverts need outlets.  For my husband that's a beer with a friend a couple times a month.  For me it's extended family events, outdoorsy things and quilter's guild.

 

4. Be conscientious of work-life balance.

There will need to be ongoing feedback about that.

 

[Farrar]

Dh works mostly from home, but it's at night. There are almost no cons. We both think it's great. Just now I was sitting on the sofa with him watching light TV while he worked. We love it.

 

If it was during the day, that might be a different dynamic. I suspect he'd go up the street to a cafe or something pretty often if that was the case. I'm not totally sure though.

[GAPeachie]

Dh works mostly from home, but it's at night. There are almost no cons. We both think it's great. Just now I was sitting on the sofa with him watching light TV while he worked. We love it.

 

If it was during the day, that might be a different dynamic. I suspect he'd go up the street to a cafe or something pretty often if that was the case. I'm not totally sure though.

 

This is interesting.  The department he is looking at is 7 am to midnight.  So nights are a possibility. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by GAPeachie

[TrixieB]

Because of the layout of our house, dh has a room that he uses for his office.  But...it is on the lower level of the house, and the kids have to keep the noise down.  When the kids were younger, they couldn't have friends over during the day because of the noise issue. 

 

Because dh is home, I was able to go back to work part time.  And he has some flexibility in his schedule, so he can occasionally take the kids to appointments on days I work.  On the other hand, it seems like he works A LOT, because the "office" is right here, instead of him having to commute somewhere.  So yeah, 2 AM meetings with people on the other side of the world...

 

Also, it was hard at first because it seemed like every time one of the kids was concentrating hard on a test, or busy writing something, dh would wander through the room on the way to the fridge and he'd stop to chat.  Now the kids tend to get a burst of school energy late at night after dh has gone to bed, so they can work without distraction.

[Farrar]

This is interesting.  The department he is looking at is 7 am to midnight.  So nights are a possibility. 

 

People think we're weird, but it definitely works for us. Part of that is that dh works with daily deadlines, so when it's done, it's done. There's very little bleed through to other times of the day, no other work that has to be done. When he's working, he has to work (though he's a cheerful multitasker and likes to have TV on or can sometimes chat a little). But when he's done there's nothing to do until work starts again. This may be a key thing for his (and my!) happiness with the set up and I know it's probably a rare thing for telecommuting jobs.

 

It does not hurt him not to be seen at the office much. But he's good at what he does, so there's that.

[LibraryLover]

I loved when my dh worked from home. I can't think of a single negative, and the kids have fond memories. It only lasted 18 months ( he was head-hunted w/a project he couldn't /didn't want to refuse), but it was great while it lasted. I do recall that conference calls required some degree of quiet, but that wasn't an issue at all. We would read, or I would gather the children to read aloud. I also remember taking walks. I don't have any negative memories about that at all. The kids loved that we were all home together so much. They knew Dad was working in his (basement lol) office.  

 

Whenever he can work at home, he does.  I'm always happy when he does (currently I work 25- 30 hours a week, so it's not like I'm hanging around w/for him). I just like the fact he's here (rare, but it does happen), and he can get a break from the hustle & bustle of the crazy office. Also, I like coming home to him. It's a nice reversal for a change. haha

Edited March 18, 2016 by LibraryLover

[theelfqueen]

DH works from home about a third to half of the time (and travels most of the rest so it is kind of all or nothing... he is here or he is gone). This has been his schedule for many years and I only worked part time those years, we've only been homeschooling about 6 months and are still adjusting to that for sure!

 

When he is at home, my DH seems to forget that DS is supposed to be doing school and asks him to do little chores and errands (take out the trash, make a pitcher of iced tea) or DH notices that DS's room is a mess and decides he should take care of it immediately... (he wants him to do it before school every day and that's not my priority -decent sleep, breakfast, and starting on time are mine) and then after all that he is annoyed when DS ends up working late ... it annoys the heck out of me.

 

And he wants lunch earlier than our usual schedule but DH DOES NOT cook anything at all so he won't be making his own. I don't mind making lunch. I do mind making lunch when I'm supposed to be teaching Russian.

 

Also he asks "what are you up to tomorrow?" Umm same thing we do every day,Pinky.

[birchbark]

DH has worked from home for 16 years. There are some cons, but the pros definitely outweigh them.

 

Pros:

No commute time; can sleep in more, have time with family

Available for really pressing needs.

Probably the biggest one for me over the years: once I get the little kids down for naps, I can go shopping by myself! DH can't babysit, but if they are sleeping I can take off. I always feel bad for the harried moms I see with a cart full of rowdy kids, trying to do the family grocery shopping. I have almost never had to do that.

No work clothing necessary

Cheaper and healthier meals for him

Another big one: being able to travel while working. I am currently posting from a rental in Arizona while it snows at home. :)  DH just brought his work with him.

 

Cons:

Having him there in body but not in spirit. Kids need to learn that during work hours, he is not available (mostly)

Feeling the pull of work after hours. He needs to be able to just stop when it's time to stop.

Needing a quiet space. Yes! A separate floor is best. Headphones with music can help if not on a call.

It has not affected his standing in the company, but he does wish for more face time as far as relationships. Things like video conferencing, which is becoming more common, really help with this.

It would be difficult if he demanded meals, etc, on his schedule rather than yours. Basically, you both need to respect the other's work duties.

 

Since my DH is social, it took a few years of adjustment to not going out and being around people every day. It is rare for him to pop in and interrupt our schoolday, but when he does, I usually welcome it. :)  I guess you have to evaluate these things in light of your particular personalities.

 

ETA: Another pro someone mentioned: the fast and paid-for internet. I think some of our cell phone bill is covered too. Others have mentioned the stress of having a DH around all the time, but I find homeschooling the kids FAR harder on my introvert nature than DH working at home. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by birchbark

[LibraryLover]

My kids understood that Dad was working at home,  and therefore was working.  He made himself available when he could, and let them know when. This was not hard.   You can work out all the negatives when/if they do present.  For us, it was nice. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by LibraryLover

[gardenmom5]

yes. 

 

he has a designated office.  meetings elsewhere for half of one  day a week.  other meetings with clients at random times.  has an additional phone line, as well as his cell. we have faster internet for his business - we all benefit.  he had his car wired so his cell will go through the car radio.  sometimes he needs to physically meet with clients - and others he can do on the phone.

 

pros - his daily schedule is *very* flexible.  during certain times of the year - he can work 12 hours days (we make few plans during that time),  and other times, he has lots of down time. 

 

cons - talk to any woman whose husband is retired and driving her nuts because he is bored and wants to be entertained -while she has things 'to do'. . . . . . he's now involved with a start-up (we call it "the venture") in his free time, which has also sporadically/random times kept him busy/entertained.  this is in addition to his home-based business.

I've had days when my schedule has been turned upside down because he has a client coming  over . . . . early in our homeschool life,  I had to let him know there would be NO clients in the morning.

Edited March 18, 2016 by gardenmom5

[Laura Corin]

Husband worked from home twice: once when I was home educating, and then now when the kids are in school and I work full time.

 

The former worked well: I home educated to strict hours (for my own sanity) and he tended to work those same strict hours.  I wasn't keen on his working in our bedroom, and for for a while an assistant working with him in the bedroom, but in general it worked well and he kept the work during the work hours.

 

Now he works part-time from home and does a lot of the general household management.  His whole work schedule bleeds into his downtime, partly because he takes exercise during 'work time'.  He tries to manage it, but it's not great.

[eternalsummer]

DH and I both work from home; it is fine.  Homeschooling is easier for me this way (he can watch the littles for half an hour here and there while I do school with DS7).  The only problem we have is that it is hard to get as much work done as we'd planned when there are all these charming diversions running about :)

[Insertcreativenamehere]

My DH works 100% from home and has for the past 2-3 years. He works for a major corporation that offers this as an option for most of their IT staff. He loves it -- especially having no commute (a big bonus in the winter months!) He also likes to work in the yard on his lunch hour in nicer weather.

 

Because he's home, I like that I can leave one or more kids home while I take another to a doctor appointment or other activity. Or I can run a quick errand on my own without dragging everyone along. 

 

That's all I like about it. 

 

He set up a little office in the corner of our bedroom. That's no problem, but our house is not large, our walls are thin and we have several children. It's hard to keep everyone quiet ALL THE TIME during business hours. We now have a schoolroom downstairs, on a different level, and that does help. However, we still have issues with him interrupting our lessons to wrestle with the kids. I can't put laundry away because he locks the bedroom door to keep the kids from coming in while he's on the phone. There are more dishes to do with him eating at home for lunch. 

 

I am also an introvert, and even if I pawn the kids off to grandma or friends (or a drop-off co-op), I NEVER have the house to myself. I really, really miss that.  

 

Edited March 18, 2016 by poikar

[Night Elf]

I imagine the nature of the job and the type of household would depend upon its success. I absolutely loved when my DH worked from home. He sat on the sofa in the living room with his laptop. If he had to take a call, which was rare, he would go into the bedroom. We aren't a noisy family. We didn't have the tv blaring. He was able to help the kids with their schoolwork and even do housework. His job is the perfect job to do from home. I was very upset when the company CEO ordered everyone back to the offices.

[OnMyOwn]

My dh has worked from home for the last 7 or 8 years. The biggest pro is that we save $$$ on gas. When gas prices were higher, I think it was $300-$400 a month because he had an hour commute each way and drives a larger truck. He can also sometimes help out with appointments or getting a kid to a lesson.

 

The biggest con from my perspective is the noise. But not me and the kids -- him. He is in the phone all day and talks very loudly. He does have an office, but it is off of the front hall, not far from the kitchen. There are times it drives me batty. He has offered to move into the basement, but I feel bad about having him do that because, while it is finished, it just isn't as nice as the office. Also, he has gone from working a 9:00 - 6:00 job, to working 12 to 15 hour days. That's not all due to working at home, but it does have an impact. The other issue for him is that he is a very social person and he now gets very little face-to-face interaction. He also gets very little exercise because he gets out if bed, goes to his desk, and stays there all day.

 

Overall, a big negative in my opinion, other than the cost savings.

 

eta: oh, and I agree with others who mentioned it is hard to have him here in body, but not spirit. It's never actually been an issue for my kids, but I had a hard time, for years, keeping away and not interrupting him to talk. I've finally learned to not even look into the office when I walk by. I don't go in to talk unless something really upsetting or urgent has happened.

Edited March 18, 2016 by OnMyOwn

[EmilyGF]

My husband tries to work from home sometimes but mostly fails. :-)

 

He finds he can't work if he can hear the kids, so the office in our house is too close to the living room for him to work in, but he can work in our bedroom (back of the house, third floor). He says he could only work successfully from home if he had an out building to work in.

 

Emily

[whitestavern]

My dh worked from home for about 8 or 9 years.

 

Pros: I loved having him there. I loved the ability to have lunch as a family, as well as having him there to watch one or both of our children if need be. He worked for himself, not an employer, so his schedule was super flexible. If he had a quiet Friday afternoon he could take a few hours to go mow the lawn. The people we bought our home from also worked from home so there was a large space above our garage. That was GREAT. The first year he worked out of the dining room and it was difficult keeping the kids quiet every time Daddy had a conference call, lol. He had a bit of an adjustment when he first started, had to learn to be disciplined and not get distracted wandering the kitchen for a snack or coming to visit with the rest of the family. He got very good at that, especially once he moved to the office in the garage.

 

Now that he's back with a regular employer working in an office, he would totally jump at a chance to work from home, if the chance presented himself. I don't look at no face time as a negative. His last two employers have a good chunk of employees working from home, and I don't think they were looked at negatively at all. As long as they are working and doing a good job, that's all that matters. Telecommuting has become so prevalent.

 

Is this a new company or one he currently works for? If he already is employed, then he's probably proven himself to be a good employee. If not, maybe your concerns are valid.

 

The most important things, in my opinion, would be that he has his own space, that he believes he has enough discipline (or that he can work towards that) and that he creates some rules around his accessibility from the rest of the family. My kids knew if dh was in his office they were not to disturb him.

 

Cons: Because he worked for himself, he was stressed a lot, especially in the beginning.  He looked at every hour he didn't work as an hour he didn't get paid. There was no regular paycheck and we had to purchase expensive health insurance.

[PinkTulip]

My DH has worked from home for the last 4-ish years and I am not a fan. I think a lot of it is his personality, but I feel like he works all the time because it is right there, and there is no break from it. He will literally get up at 4 am to send out emails and work on drafting things, work all day with sometimes leaving to meet with clients, and then stay up until midnight working on emails and reports again. He has kept that schedule for 4 years now and it is definitely taking its toll. I think he needs the physical change in location of driving to an office to be able to leave work at work and be home and part of the family when he is home.

 

We have the noise thing - dad's on a call so we need to be quiet, and I have the introvert thing - just wishing for some time completely alone at home. Also, when DH has a big project coming up (which seems to be always!), he spreads his papers all over the area where my kids have their friends over, making it impossible to have friends over. It's hard for us.

[lmrich]

I think it will depend on your dh. My husband is ultra focused, nothing bothers him. I teach out of the home for my business. Last year I had 13 middle school kids come for school twice a week. His office is in the front room and my schoolroom is in the backroom, sunporch. He is so focused that he works through lunch often and will emerge around 2:00 to get something to eat. Often I bring him lunch. I work out of the home twice a week as well so it is nice to have him home with the dog or if a kid gets sick. He owns his own business so he works more hours than if he had a boss, but he can also work when he wants to. 

[ktgrok]

My husband tries to work from home sometimes but mostly fails. :-)

 

He finds he can't work if he can hear the kids, so the office in our house is too close to the living room for him to work in, but he can work in our bedroom (back of the house, third floor). He says he could only work successfully from home if he had an out building to work in.

 

Emily

 

Yes. It would have to be a separate space. Our house has weird acoustics and you can hear every whisper from one room to another. So on the few days he works from home I'm trying to keep a 3 yr old quiet all the time. Mind you, the then will come out and say "oh, that call wasn't important, you didn't need to keep him quiet for THAT one." Well how was I supposed to know? And trust me, a phone call is impossible when he's screaming, so yes, I did. Plus the kids want to get hugs randomly, and I just hate it. He hates it. we have agreed it will not happen unless he has a shed or outbuilding or something. 

 

He does sometimes pay the daily rate to go to an office co-op arrangement downtown. That works well. But if he had to do it daily it would have to be worked into his benefits or something. It's a great space with desks you rent, basically, with wifi, phones, printers, conference rooms, etc. 

[Runningmom80]

I love that my dh works from home. He has an office upstairs and I teach downstairs. The disadvantages:

 

1. We had to be quiet when he had phones calls, which was a lot when he was working for a company (He's an entrepreneur now.). I had to resort to tv for this. Sometimes if I knew he was going to be on the phone most of the day, I would take the kids to a museum.

2. I couldn't clean upstairs. My dc are young, so they follow me everywhere.

 

Pros:

 

1. Helped me out in the mornings.

2. Had lunch with him.

3. The days doesn't seem as long because he can just come down once he's done. Whereas, he wouldn't get home until 7 because of traffic.

4. I see him more often. If he had to commute, he'd leave around 6 and won't be home until 7.

5. I dropped the proclick on my foot once and he had to come down to help me. May not be a problem for you since your oldest is 13.

6. We only have 1 car note.

 

Good luck and I hope this works out for you.

Pretty much this. For us the pros far outweigh the cons.

[Carrie12345]

Dh didn't have a great life/work balance before, and it didn't get better by working primarily (not entirely) at home.  It only improved with a whole bunch of intentional effort.

 

For us, the biggest problem is that our house is really small, but that wasn't a surprise, lol.  I probably bug him more often than the kids do, since he works in our room and I'm in and out a lot.

 

On the plus side, it's easier for him to schedule around big kid events.  He can take the dog out when we're at co-op all day.  I can sometimes leave the little kids home if the big kids have an activity.  He only misses dinner if he's traveling or has a big event, not because of traffic.

[The Girls' Mom]

My dh has worked from home for almost 10 years.  (with travel).  It would not have worked well if he didn't have a office with a door.  

 

As it is, there are things that I wish I could have done, but could not because he works from home.  We could not have the kids' friends over during the day because of the noise.  (this is changing a bit now that the kids are older, but there are certain friends that we don't invite over until after work hours because they are just loud people).  I couldn't teach art classes at home, for the same reasons.  I can't blast music throughout the house while I'm cleaning.  Because of where his office is, we even have to be careful about the TV volume in the living room during work hours.  When the kids were small, we lived in a house where his office was on a different floor and rather secluded from the rest of the house.  That was the best of our housing arrangements for his job.  

Another down side is that family and friends seem to think that he doesn't work a real job and can just do stuff with or for them whenever.  It isn't as bad now that he's been doing it for so long though.  

 

What worked for us:  He is very good at separating himself from the family while he is working.  His job/being home never interfered with our day.  The kids knew to not bother him at all if his door was shut.  He also makes himself take a lunch most days and tries to get out of the house some during lunch.  (it isn't unusual to see him in the garden or on the tractor in the middle of the day during his lunch break...which contributes to people thinking he doesn't have a "real job" lol.)

 

His job has always involved him being on the phone at odd hours, so that didn't change.  We've lived with him having to take calls in the middle of family activities for 20+ years..lol.  

Also...a plus:  we see him 24/7.  A con:  we see him 24/7.

Edited March 18, 2016 by The Girls' Mom

[creekland]

Hubby has worked from home for the past 14 or 15 years.  We love it and work so well together as a couple and a family that there are no cons at all.  We've morphed our schedules together quite easily and continue to do so on a day to day basis.

 

A big plus is his job is also portable, so when we take off on our trips, he can continue to work if he wants to - which means paychecks continue to come in.  He works during our down time and is available when we want to do things - pretty much the same as at home TBH, just a different location.

 

When our kids were young, he'd be the one watching them while I went off to school :coolgleamA:  - but he still got work done too.  He's a very talented guy. 

 

He never wants to have an office (away) again either.  He loves the flexibility he has now.  I do too.

[ktgrok]

Oh, and my husband can't concentrate with noise going on. And he has unrealistic expectations of the kids. So he will sit down on the couch in the family room and try to work on something, then be surprised and annoyed that the kids (at the time 5 and 2 yrs old) want to climb in his lap,, talk to him, etc. I would finally just tell him to go in another room and close the door if he wants to be left alone! Ugh. I'm stressed just thinking about it. 

 

Our marriage wouldn't survive him working at home full time. Honestly, when he retires we've discussed him needing to still work outside the house or volunteer or have a hobby in a shed or workshop outside. We adore each other, but he can drive me crazy if he's in the house all day. This is probably because he's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, but also because as I said above, he can't figure out that not everyone is doing what he's doing. So if he's working he wants everyone quiet. If he takes a break he thinks everyone should take a break, even if they are busy. 

[Kalmia]

Overall it was a good experience (he would say it was 100% positive) , but there was one very problematic con for the rest of us.

 

Pros first:

I could run out of the house for errands or personal time without dragging the kids with me. Very transforming for my spirits.

Major savings on gas, tolls, and wear and tear to the car as well as wardrobe costs (old tattered sweatpants everyday, yay!)

We could ask him spur of the moment math questions rather than waiting for him to get home.

He started doing more of the quick household chores (taking out the garbage, walking the dog, etc.) when he needed a break from the computer.

He could drive kids to their activities now and again so it wasn't all on me.

He had more time just hanging out while the kids were home.

 

Cons:

My husband didn't really understand the ebb and flow of homeschooling. We have one very difficult child and every time this kid would start to carry on (as he would multiple times per day), my husband would come out of his study to correct him because the noise was disturbing to his work. At first, I though this was helpful, but then I realized it was creating a negative view of the effectiveness in homeschooling in my husband's mind. Among many, many other things, I think my husband's working from home and inability to put bad behavior into perspective led to us having to abandon homeschooling and send the children to school. If it had only been my daughter at home, this would not have happened as she is very agreeable. Of course, the spirited child is doing the same things at school with pretty disastrous results for his grades, whereas at home I could accommodate him better to make sure he had plenty of breaks before restarting him and keeping him on track for learning.

 

[G5052]

I work from home and have for years. In the past I had some evenings away, but now I'm full-time from home. I have an office on a different floor from the kitchen and where my teens do their school work.

 

Advantages:

 

Meals with the family

Being able to continue homeschooling

 

Disadvantages:

 

Having to set boundaries (don't interrupt Mom unless its an emergency)

Poor work-life balance

Loneliness (little face-to-face time with adults other than DH)

 

My time is somewhat flexible much of the time because I'm an online faculty member and independent contractor. That's good if you're talking about medical appointments and going to the gym. The reality though is that means that work spills into the weekend. I usually work 7 days a week in order to get everything done. So I'm pretty burned out by the time June comes. Last summer I had to work over the summer for financial reasons and even had things I had to do when we were on vacation (low-key thankfully). After that I told DH that I'm not working in the summer again. I don't care if we have to cut the budget to the bone, I'm getting a break over the summer!

 

Edited March 18, 2016 by G5052

[ktgrok]

Also, it may depend on their schedule and type of work. My husband was in conference calls nearly the whole day. So he couldn't watch the kids while I ran to the store or whatever. And even if he wasn't on a call, he can't multitask, so he couldn't work and watch the kids. He just couldn't. So he was zero help while home, just a hinderance. 

[Spryte]

No cons here. We love it.

 

He occasionally goes to a cafe for meetings, or goes in to the office, but mostly is home.

 

There was a transition time, maybe ten years ago, but that was pretty quick. I love it!

[lynn]

My dh did for a couple of years.  You have to have a conversation and know exactly what works.  Does he need it quiet certain hours for phone calls.  Would he like lunch at a certain time.  Is it okay for the kids to go in the office at all and do school work or read?  When can you vacuum?  Will he mind the washing machine/dryer running?  

 

My dd use to set up her "work station" and color while dh worked.  It was a good 2 years.  He's back in the office fulltime now.

[BarbecueMom]

My DH works 100% from home and has for the past 2-3 years. He works for a major corporation that offers this as an option for most of their IT staff. He loves it -- especially having no commute (a big bonus in the winter months!) He also likes to work in the yard on his lunch hour in nicer weather.

 

Because he's home, I like that I can leave one or more kids home while I take another to a doctor appointment or other activity. Or I can run a quick errand on my own without dragging everyone along.

 

That's all I like about it.

 

He set up a little office in the corner of our bedroom. That's no problem, but our house is not large, our walls are thin and we have several children. It's hard to keep everyone quiet ALL THE TIME during business hours. We now have a schoolroom downstairs, on a different level, and that does help. However, we still have issues with him interrupting our lessons to wrestle with the kids. I can't put laundry away because he locks the bedroom door to keep the kids from coming in while he's on the phone. There are more dishes to do with him eating at home for lunch.

 

I am also an introvert, and even if I pawn the kids off to grandma or friends (or a drop-off co-op), I NEVER have the house to myself. I really, really miss that.

Pretty much this. Great on gas and running quick errands sans kids, but the extra dishes and the lack of alone time is difficult. We are both introverts, but he could spend every waking second with just me and be perfectly fine. I, however, start researching deserted islands after a while...

[Jerico]

We enjoy it!

 

Pros:

We see him so much more

His job is flexible to begin with

He keeps an eye on the kids while i go workout when its convenient for me

No packing of lunches

Hardly any gas money (we still have 2 cars b/c he travels quite a bit)

 

We don't have playdates at home and i prefer the excuse that my hubby is working :) i'd rather meet at the park when i can leave when i want.

 

Cons:

I hardly ever get to vacuum in his office.

 

When he first started it was a rough transition b/c we lived/worked/schooled in 900 sq ft. Once we moved (new state- our choice and one of the pros of the new position) and had enough space (2 levels) it was better, plus we adjusted to the new routine.

[Jerico]

I'm an introvert too. Every day we have quiet time for 1-2 hours in the afternoon, i'm alone in my room and they know to leave me alone.

[skimomma]

Dh has partially worked from home for most of dd's life and I also partially work from home. There are challenges for sure, but overall it works very well for all of us.  We would not have it any other way....except maybe being wealthy and not having to work at all:)

 

Dh and I are both into what is becoming a new work model I have heard called the "gig economy."  While one of dh's jobs is a typical "full-time" job, it involves a great deal of travel and almost never requires that he work in a specific location or at specific times.  So he will be working away at midnight or on a Sunday afternoon, but might be at the beach on a Wednesday afternoon.  His employer and co-workers do not know or care when he does his job as long as it is getting done.  When in town he splits his work time 50/50 between his office and home.  His other job is part-time and even more nebulous since he is a small business owner and is his own boss.  He also does about 50% of that job from home and 50% elsewhere.  My two part-time jobs are also 50/50 home/elsewhere and I also really do not "report" to anyone other than myself most of the time even though I very much have "supervisors."

 

And, we have an only child who is now old enough to be self-sufficient when necessary and has always been very "well-behaved" and flexible.  She has spent her entire life immersed in our work lives so she is used to it and is willing to do her end of the compromise in order to have the adventures that go along with it. I think we would have a lot more challenges if we had more than one child or a child that was not generally cooperative by nature. For instance, I was able to set my then-4yo up with snacks and coloring books in the back of my university classroom for two hours of lecture with no problems.  Not once did she distract me or my class.  She even took herself to the bathroom when needed.  I know that is not typical.

 

Pros:  

 

Flexibility in which parent is doing what parenting job at any given time.

 

We get to maximize time together when both parents (and the kid) are super busy.

 

While dh does very little with homeschooling, he sees first hand what we are doing and is therefore more understanding of the challenges.

 

Dd is not left alone as much as she would be otherwise.

 

I can fit in my work projects between homeschooling tasks which is a better use of my time overall.

 

Dh has more distractions at his office from co-workers than he does at home.

 

Dh and I can fit things in like exercising and meal prep tasks in work-lull times.

 

Dh is NOT a morning person and cannot seem to make it into work until 10am.  However, he is perfectly happy to do two hours of work IN BED while drinking his coffee.  That is time that would otherwise be 100% wasted.

 

We all can be in our PJs any time we want:)

 

 

Cons:

 

We do not have a dedicated space for anyone so sometimes there are noise issues.  Dh and I use headsets for phone/conference calls which helps but we have a very small house and sometimes someone has to be quieter than they want to be.

 

Our working train-of-thought does get interrupted sometimes which decreases efficiency.  

 

I still find attending meetings via phone/web difficult at times.

 

The person who suffers the most from distraction in this situation is dd.  

 

[G5052]

Honestly, when he retires we've discussed him needing to still work outside the house or volunteer or have a hobby in a shed or workshop outside. We adore each other, but he can drive me crazy if he's in the house all day. This is probably because he's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, but also because as I said above, he can't figure out that not everyone is doing what he's doing. So if he's working he wants everyone quiet. If he takes a break he thinks everyone should take a break, even if they are busy. 

 

Yes, we're going to have to work this out with my job when the time comes. DH is sometimes home for weeks at a time because of medical issues, and it is very, very hard for me to get my work hours in. He had major surgery in February and just went back to work, and my work had to go on hold in some areas. I'm SOOOO behind right now. I got only the basics done during that period.

 

When everyone is home, there's a dynamic that has to be worked out if people have certain things they have to get done.

[G5052]

 

I also feel that maybe not being in the office every day could potentially hurt his standing in the company.  Just as a "no time to create face to face relationships with people in the company. 

 

 

Are others doing this as well? If they are, it may be that the culture of the company will handle this just fine. My two employers have a central support staff and then all the "worker bees" work from home. In my case, there have been minimal issues not being face-to-face although I try to make the periodic face-to-face opportunities that they offer. Both employers are within driving distance.

 

The only issues I've had is when there were management changes coming, and I had no clue what was going on. One time my supervisor became harder and harder to reach with questions, and then there was announcement that she had moved on. I heard through a friend that there was significant disagreement between her and the upper level of management. The same organization had a major change in management later as well that made things odd for awhile, but it really didn't affect my day-to-day.

 

Both organization have specific people to contact for specific issues, and it all goes very smoothly IMHO, but they're both oriented towards at-home workers. My supervisor within one organization is very hard to reach, but her administrative assistant is great and she gets things done for me. I've learned that it is best to contact the administrative assistant first.

[TrixieB]

Cons:

I hardly ever get to vacuum in his office.

 

 

 

Oh, yeah, definitely this!  Dh's office is a mess, but there is little I can do about it because he's always in it.

[shawthorne44]

I am the one who sometimes works from home sometimes in the office about 50/50.  Note, our house came with a shed that I declared my office before we bought it.  Although, I sometimes work from the desktop computer inside.    I really recommend the shed idea for when kid noise would be a problem.  As a small space they aren't hard to insulate, and a space heater or window A/C can handle the temp.   Occasionally DH will say, "You need to go to the office"

 

When I work from home, DH the homeschooling parent sleeps in while I get breakfast for DD.  

 

I hate driving, so instead of needing downtime when I got home from the office, when work is done for the day I am ready for trampoline time with DD.  

 

Since I can work while preparing and eating dinner, I can be done with work sooner.  

 

More family time since when work is busy I can work until I would normally arrive home.  So, less time away from the family.  

 

We used to have three cars for two drivers.  Then I was rear-ended and their insurance is being &^%&^%, then the really old spare car started to act flaky.   By working from home, having one car isn't so bad.   If I only had to go into the office once a month, we wouldn't even bother getting a second car.  

 

[Leav97]

I work from home 4 days a week.  My DH works out of the home 4PM  - midnight M-F.

 

Pros:

No commute time

I can help with school work over lunch

relaxed lunch with the kids

 

Cons:

noisy kids 

 

face-to-face time - this is why I go to work once a week.  It gives me time with my coworkers and management staff.  I also try to make some of the happy hours.  In the past I usually skipped them.

 

Phone calls - I try to let DH know my schedule for the day.  No one is expecting complete silence.  Sometimes they arrange errands during phone calls.

 

Interrupting them - I don't just pop upstairs.  They let me know when they are ready for lunch.

 

Interrupting me - The kids are banned from my office except to let me know lunch is ready.  The exception used to by DDs math.  She was allowed to stop by for math in the afternoon if I wasn't busy.  She chose PS this year so no longer an issue.

 

My office is a disaster.  

 

 

 

[HS Mom in NC]

Writing software doesn't allow for watching young kids while mom runs errands.  Only until they were old enough to entertain themselves for hours at a stretch without needing parental interaction did I leave them home with my husband while he was working.  

We're both introverts but there's no reason he can't take the kids out of the house now and then so I can be by myself sometimes.  I've taken the kids to all kinds of out of the house activities when he is alone in the house.  I'm not one to sit and wait for him to read my mind.  I talk to him about taking the kids somewhere without me or whatever other needs I have.  I talk to him about what he needs.

Boundaries have to be consistently enforced.  He keeps fairly standard work hours and I keep standard school hours so we only really interact with each other during lunch on school/work days.  He has his space for working and I have mine for schooling.  We stay out of each other's way during those times so we can enjoy being together later.

My husband isn't a messy person. His office is usually very neat and tidy and he's perfectly capable of running a vacuum and dusting it himself.  Is it as regular as I would do it?  No.  But it's not my office.   If he made messes that affected me I would be very assertive about insisting he clean up after himself.  All our kids help with regular chores so we don't drown in mess.  The chore chart (that now just includes me and youngest as the older two are working and schooling out of the home) is posted on the fridge and chore time is a regular, daily activity that I enforce.

[Seasider]

I am the one who sometimes works from home sometimes in the office about 50/50. Note, our house came with a shed that I declared my office before we bought it. Although, I sometimes work from the desktop computer inside. I really recommend the shed idea for when kid noise would be a problem. As a small space they aren't hard to insulate, and a space heater or window A/C can handle the temp. Occasionally DH will say, "You need to go to the office"

 

When I work from home, DH the homeschooling parent sleeps in while I get breakfast for DD.

 

I hate driving, so instead of needing downtime when I got home from the office, when work is done for the day I am ready for trampoline time with DD.

 

Since I can work while preparing and eating dinner, I can be done with work sooner.

 

More family time since when work is busy I can work until I would normally arrive home. So, less time away from the family.

 

We used to have three cars for two drivers. Then I was rear-ended and their insurance is being &^%&^%, then the really old spare car started to act flaky. By working from home, having one car isn't so bad. If I only had to go into the office once a month, we wouldn't even bother getting a second car.

Taking notes. Might have to lobby for his-n-her sheds for the back garden...

[Loowit]

DH works from home sometimes.  When the kids were younger it didn't work as well, because they were kids and made noise, but now that they are older it works fine.  We both wish he could work from home more often, but his boss is big on having everyone in the office for team building and is a people person who prefers in-person communication.  It drives DH nuts sometimes because in the office his boss will stop by to chat which cuts into DH's work hours which are on commission.  DH's boss though is understanding when DH needs a day to work from home sometimes like in bad weather, kids have an appointment and he wants a half day, and things like that.

 

The pros for us for working from home are two extra hours with DH from cutting out commute time, cutting down on gas expenses, getting to eat lunch together, cuts back on eating out DH does when he goes to work thus saving money.  He is also able to be involved a little in what is going on in our school day, so he feels like a more involved parent.

 

The cons are sometimes noise levels make it harder for him, but that has dramatically improved with the kids getting older.  I can't really think of any other cons really.

 

DH has said that if he were to work full time from home he would want to set up an home office.  Our current house that really isn't an option, but we are looking at moving in the next year or so to a bigger house, so that is something we will take into consideration when house shopping.

 

As far as emails and not being able to ignore them as easily, DH is always on call, except if he specifically tells them he will be out of town.  So it doesn't matter if he is in the office or not, he needs to check emails and take phone calls either way.

[GAPeachie]

It does not hurt him not to be seen at the office much. But he's good at what he does, so there's that.

 

Great!  My DH is very good at what he does as well.  

 

I loved when my dh worked from home. I can't think of a single negative, and the kids have fond memories. It only lasted 18 months ( he was head-hunted w/a project he couldn't /didn't want to refuse), but it was great while it lasted. I do recall that conference calls required some degree of quiet, but that wasn't an issue at all. We would read, or I would gather the children to read aloud. I also remember taking walks. I don't have any negative memories about that at all. The kids loved that we were all home together so much. They knew Dad was working in his (basement lol) office.  

 

Nice! I can see either my husband or myself heading out for conference calls.  The kids could go outside, on the lanai, we could go for a walk, have some time at the pool, head to the library etc.  

 

DH has worked from home for 16 years. There are some cons, but the pros definitely outweigh them.

 

Pros:

No work clothing necessary

Cheaper and healthier meals for him

Another big one: being able to travel while working. I am currently posting from a rental in Arizona while it snows at home. :)  DH just brought his work with him.

 

Cons:

It has not affected his standing in the company, but he does wish for more face time as far as relationships. Things like video conferencing, which is becoming more common, really help with this.

 

I totally forgot about the clothes and meals savings.  He would have options for video conferencing, but he normally does that anyway.  His boss right now is in Virginia.  When we were in Mineesota, he had a different boss in Virginia.  

 

I don't look at no face time as a negative. His last two employers have a good chunk of employees working from home, and I don't think they were looked at negatively at all. As long as they are working and doing a good job, that's all that matters. Telecommuting has become so prevalent.

 

Is this a new company or one he currently works for? If he already is employed, then he's probably proven himself to be a good employee. If not, maybe your concerns are valid...

 

Cons: Because he worked for himself, he was stressed a lot, especially in the beginning.  He looked at every hour he didn't work as an hour he didn't get paid. There was no regular paycheck and we had to purchase expensive health insurance.

 

It would be for the same company he has worked for since 2012. We are on our third location.  Nice to know that you didn't feel like it was a negative for him.  He spoke to a colleague that works from home and she said she hasn't observed that being an issue for her. 

 

My dh has worked from home for almost 10 years.  (with travel).  It would not have worked well if he didn't have a office with a door.  

 

As it is, there are things that I wish I could have done, but could not because he works from home.  We could not have the kids' friends over during the day because of the noise.  (this is changing a bit now that the kids are older, but there are certain friends that we don't invite over until after work hours because they are just loud people).  I couldn't teach art classes at home, for the same reasons.  I can't blast music throughout the house while I'm cleaning.  Because of where his office is, we even have to be careful about the TV volume in the living room during work hours.  When the kids were small, we lived in a house where his office was on a different floor and rather secluded from the rest of the house.  That was the best of our housing arrangements for his job....

 

His job has always involved him being on the phone at odd hours, so that didn't change.  We've lived with him having to take calls in the middle of family activities for 20+ years..lol.  

 

We have one set of friends that I'll have set very firm boundaries with.  They are just louder than we are.  LOL

 

Oh yes... DH has had after hours work calls since...   2006?  I used to want to throw the crackberry out of the window.  Not so much now.  DH prioritizes who he picks up for now.  Also, now that texting is more popular, they can text and he can respond without having to leave the room or stepping out of an event.  I love texting....  it has brought so much peace to our home life.  My children never really understood why some Dad's were "off" and TRULY off and why DH was home, but still answering work calls.  Now it is a way of life.  

 

I'm an introvert too. Every day we have quiet time for 1-2 hours in the afternoon, i'm alone in my room and they know to leave me alone.

 

YES!  We already have this.  I enforce naptime for two kiddos and retreat.  My other three know that they have to find something that is quiet (and not television) or I'll fill their time.  

 

Are others doing this as well? If they are, it may be that the culture of the company will handle this just fine. My two employers have a central support staff and then all the "worker bees" work from home. In my case, there have been minimal issues not being face-to-face although I try to make the periodic face-to-face opportunities that they offer. Both employers are within driving distance.

 

Yes.  The position is a remote management position for a whole remote team.

 

DH's boss though is understanding when DH needs a day to work from home sometimes like in bad weather, kids have an appointment and he wants a half day, and things like that.

 

As far as emails and not being able to ignore them as easily, DH is always on call, except if he specifically tells them he will be out of town.  So it doesn't matter if he is in the office or not, he needs to check emails and take phone calls either way.

 

DH works on the road, at home or from his phone pretty often.  His current position is pretty flexible because right now he is managing process work.  DH is always on call even if he is out of town.  He does mark *very* special events on his work calendar so that people TRY to avoid calling him during certain things and then he can kind of screen his calls as necessary.  His emails always come to his phone so part of his morning ritual is coffee and looking through emails and his schedule for the day.  

Edited March 18, 2016 by GAPeachie

[Dmmetler]

DH works from home most of the time. His division is actually physically in another state, so even if he goes into the office here, he's still working remotely. He started this about 3 years ago when they started a major interstate expansion project that made commutes get ridiculously long (and isn't going to be done for at least another year). He realized that if he was going to work remotely, he might as well do it from home and save the stress.

 

We have an office in a guest bedroom upstairs, so he has a door he can shut, and rules in the house when we have other kids over include "do not go upstairs"-to the point that when we had a kid from our local homeschool group pet sitting for us, she was downright shocked when we told her she'd have to go upstairs to scoop that litter box for the cats.

 

Pros-He is saved a really annoying commute and can work more on his schedule. For example, it's reasonable, if he has a big project due, for him to come down, eat dinner with us, and then go back to work, instead of working until 9:00 PM or later fueled by the snack machines.

 

It is absolutely cheaper in a lot of ways. One big one that I don't think has been mentioned is that I end up doing a lot less laundry because there is no work/home clothes division-and t-shirts/shorts don't need to be treated as gently as dressy work clothes. 

 

If we want to travel, he can take work with him and work from where ever we are, and it's invisible to his company.

 

I can go out for a dentist appointment or something, leave DD at home, and DH is still there if anything major happens, which is reassuring to me. Realistically, DD would be fine by herself at this point (and has been for the last couple of years), but especially when he first started working from home a couple of years ago,  that was a real perk.

 

Cons-

The hardest one has been that DD was used to DH coming home and being able to tell him about her day, show him what she did, and have his attention. Now, she can't go in during the day and show him when she's excited, and both DH and I have noticed that she tends to not show him/talk about it later, and part of it is that she doesn't have that clear line where "Daddy wasn't here for me to show off/tell, so I need to do it when he comes home" and therefore feels that she already has. Then DH feels left out of that part of her life because she doesn't share, and that was a tough line. I've had to actively learn to suggest "Make sure you tell Daddy/show him your project/whatever after work is over" and prompt her to do so. Now, at age 11, it's less an issue, but it was a big one at age 8.

 

The other thing is that work stress spills over into home stress more. When DH worked in the office, on a bad day he'd often stop, go shopping, spend some time, and just plain had mostly reset and was more human once he got home. Working from home, with a commute consisting of walking through one room and down one flight of stairs, he just doesn't have that time. Again, we've had to learn to give him that space to decompress-which can be hard with a kid who has been waiting to share ALL DAY.

 

Overall, I think it was a good change for our family. I do think it would be harder if we didn't have a two story house, though.