Murphy101 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Or any major financial up-change if lotto doesn't work for your imagination. So the moms and I were chit chatting about what if they were to win a lotto as we were waiting to pick up our kids tonight and the topic of what we would do with ir for our kids because the focus. As usually it started because I opened my big mouth. I had one of my other kids with me and he said, "Ah man! No more school for me if we win the lotto, right mom?!" *Winkwink smirking* I responded with, "What is this "We" you speak of, serf? "We" would not have won. Mr and Mrs X would have one. What makes you think I would give you a free for all to the bank? No, no youngling. You must still toil away at the learning and and the getting work." Now we were all joking but another mom laughed and said, "I'd never work again and I wouldn't make any of my kids or grandkids ever work either. Or even go to college. It wouldn't matter. It's not like they'd need a job." So how would you change your children's lives if you won? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) I would make sure I could fully fund our retirement so that he doesn't have to take care of us financially. His college expenses would be paid. I would buy him a home to live in (don't know who would own it, him or us). He would have reliable transportation. I would make sure he has the assistance with executive function that he needs in order to life to the best possible scenario (maybe a life coach or an occupational therapist). I would put money in a trust fund to pay for his kids' education, whatever form that takes. He could have a designated amount to purchase books each year. ETA: None of this could ever happen because I don't buy lotto tickets. Edited January 13, 2016 by TechWife 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Oh, my kids would definitely go to college and graduate school, and definitely have a job. But their job may be something that is valuable but not high in salary, like a pro bono lawyer, or a physician with Doctors Without Borders, or an MBA working for a non-profit. Just because they wouldn't necessarily need the income doesn't mean there is no value in the self-worth of being a contributing member in society. IMHO. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Ok maybe I'm a huge nerd but if I had tons of money, I'd go to college just for fun... 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 School would definitely still be required. I might let him have that silence lab he mentioned. There was also something about blowing things up... He'd get more enrichment but not less education. And there would be the expectation of gainful employment. He would not have to work at a fast food restaurant to help pay for school, though. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Oh heck no. Winning the lotto would mean being able to afford all the awesome learning activities and stuff! and a housekeeper so I can teach better! Quitting work and travelling forever and paying for your kids so they dont have to work either is a great, amazing short term plan. But long term, you end up with entitled adults who have no connection to the real world, and their future children having parents with not as much money as you have, and no clue what a normal life and parenting looks like. My husband and I have talked about this, and while we would probably make lump sum purchases, we would try not to give them more than necessary day to day. The kids would finish school, but I'd likely encourage them to work part time for their own spending money (still a totally normal practice in my country). I'd pay for any extracurricular they wanted to do, but I wouldn't give them free reign of money for shopping and trips to the movies or anything, that's what their jobs/allowance are budgeted for. Since I'd have the money to spare I'd probably let them get the 'just because you want to learn' degree paid for by me, but then they would get jobs. We would definitely buy their first car, and probably buy them their first house, but we would have no intention of contributing to their general finances. Except for the freedom of being given a free house they would have to work and budget and earn their way like everyone else. I would buy books for my grandbabies, including homeschooling books if they chose to do that. I think that's about it. I would envision my kids having a typical middle class upbringing, even if we could afford more, with a healthy dose of 'look how good you have it' since I grew up in poverty and can't stand people who have no concept of being poor. In fact my husband and I would probably continue working ourselves in some capacity too. What that looks like would change, DH might go from his factory job to making wooden childrens toys and other things in his shed (which will be outfitted with many overly large machines I expect) and I'd be able to dedicate myself more fully to homeschooling and volunteering. But we would want our kids to see us modelling work and a healthy life. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Hmm. The kids would get a free ride to college if we won. That's about it. They would be able to travel more, I suppose (but none of us really like traveling, except for DH, so there's that). A free ride through LIFE, though? No freakin' way. Working does so much more for a person than just bringing in an income. I suppose if one of my children really wanted to dedicate their life to volunteer work, or (if after attending college and working for a bit) wanted to be a SAHM (which I consider a great contribution), we would help out financially. But just to sit on their rears because working isn't "necessary"? Nope. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I would encourage my children to follow dreams instead of chasing a paycheck. Education would be an expectation, but also provided so that if they wanted to spend 10 years taking electives to get a 4 year, degree....so be it! LOL I could see ds taking so many interesting classes at great universities that it would be a pleasure to pay for him to go. DD17 would probably end up in the arts, and traveling the world. She has a philanthropic heart, so she would probably give a lot away if I gave her a blank check. Dd9 would have a personal staff 24/7 and get the best education possible for her. If I won something massive like the current powerball, I would love to open a therapeutic play center for children on the spectrum. I could absolutely see my older kids working in that environment. My son would work with the kids on the playground. My 17yo daughter, in designing and inventing new ideas. It would be designed like an indoor playground with rooms that parents could reserve for their children. Rooms (or at least large rooms with dividers) so the kids could have access to swings and trampolines and giant ball pits, sensory areas, climbing walls, peddle style cars, carts and wagons, sand rooms, quiet rooms, loud rooms, visually stimulating rooms, spinning rooms etc. If I won hundreds of millions, then it would be a school for kids on the spectrum/special needs, with multiple intelligence model of education (but adapted to the special needs group). Behavior therapy would be offered on site and so would occupational and physical therapy, so the parents could have less on their plate if they chose to. (Driving and transitioning kids in and out of therapy gets daunting sometimes, especially when you you have other kids in tow at the same time). 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 It wouldn't. We've discussed this. We would pay off our debt, buy a house and a car, put $100,000 in savings and give the rest to charity. We don't want to be rich and we don't want our kids to be rich, but we'd be pretty darn comfortable. So, their lives wouldn't change but we'd homeschool on a nicer couch. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Now we were all joking but another mom laughed and said, "I'd never work again and I wouldn't make any of my kids or grandkids ever work either. Or even go to college. It wouldn't matter. It's not like they'd need a job." So how would you change your children's lives if you won? Winning the lotto wouldn't change the fact that I believe we have a duty not to be completely boring, so the studying and the working would continue to be necessary. Your mate there is being a bit short sighted. With that attitude, the great grandkids would be in the futuristic version of the poorhouse due to a lack of financial training. If I won the lotto, our architecture studies would progress from cute little lesson plans online to building ourselves a comfy little straw bale house with gardens and a cellar. We'd use what we learned there to build other eco-houses that could be sold for little more than cost price to the likes of we'd been the day before our lotto win. If our non-finance based problems ever resolved, we would travel a whole lot more and buy season tickets to the opera and ballet! Imagine life with a wide open petrol budget. :drool5: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) Not that we'll win the lottery ('cause we don't buy tickets). But if we did -- We'd encourage oldest to continue with his education. Not that we'd need to. He's aiming for a degree in either economics or business with a specialization in finance and eventually an MBA. So it could come in handy helping us (and him) manage all that money. ;) He'd probably want to start his own venture capital firm or something like that. In any event, he'd find plenty to do. Youngest would probably thrive as a professional student. He loves to learn but (so far) hasn't decided on anything he wants to do with his knowledge. But yes, they'd both continue their educations. We're already paying/will pay for that, so winning a lottery wouldn't change anything for them in that regard. We'd definitely set up some sort of trust fund(s) for them, but the terms might be determined by how they reacted to our winning. Edited January 13, 2016 by Pawz4me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I liked Warren Buffet's take on leaving money to kids. Most of his funds are going to charity. He felt his children should be left "enough money so that they would feel they could do anything, but not so much that they could do nothing." http://archive.fortune.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/1986/09/29/68098/index.htm I would love the idea of money not being an issue in the college decision! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 My three boys would join us in running our foundation. They'd each have a specialty and they'd love it. Middle would also finish med school and getting his PhD. Why? He loves it. Why not? He could do whatever he wanted after residency and I suspect that would be medical missions. Youngest would finish college too. Why not? Education and "life experience" is why he's going in the first place. I see no reason for that to change. Our winning would absolutely be a family deal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 What kind person does a child who only knows to take become. Additionally, there's a point where trust funds run out. At that point you have a generation of sloths who don't know how to do anything for themselves or produce anything for anyone else. Look at children of celebrities who make the news got all the wrong reasons? I would take an approach similar to Bill Gates. His children will not be inheriting all his wealth. They will get an amazing education and a nice chunk of change to get a start. My dd and I were talking about the lottery a couple of days ago. Her first thing was "I could go to school without loans." Indeed. Her older brother and she would have college and graduate degrees paid for. This would probably include study abroad. I'd expect them to become productive citizens in whatever field they choose. After funding a comfortable retirement with lots of travel and longterm therapy, education, job training and care for my youngest, I think we'd throw a significant amount of the rest into programs for teens and adults with disabilities, because we know first hand the need is great. I'd also get a car that was newer than 8 years old. But I'd definitely expect my dc to get an education and develop a career of their choice. Having no goals is a recipe to raise humans who have no redeeming qualities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Not a cent would they get. Oh, college would be paid for and there'd be better vacations but I'm not sure all that money is good for anyone. Dh and I could put away for our presumably expensive golden years, I would create some kind of trust for the kids, grandkids etc and the rest would go to charity. But we're weird. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) Their lives wouldn't change because even though dh might quit his job, we'd still keep moving around the world. We'd be much more able to pay for college for them and to help them get started on life. Helping them get started without debt is huge in my mind, although it may not be in theirs right now. :) Barring special needs or unusual circumstances, I can't imagine completely supporting my adult children for any reason and I hope none of my children feel like they deserve any money from us when we die, no matter how much or how little we have. Edited January 13, 2016 by Amira 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I think my older kid would love to spend time inventing stuff. He's always tinkering and building stuff. He is often limited by money. So I would definitely fund that interest. The other kid I'd hire a superb art teacher because he loves to draw, but thinks he is not good (not true). I know he'd love to learn more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 My last kid's life would not change at all. She already has the opportunities and tools to give her a great adult life. My life would change in that I wouldn't have to stress as much providing her with those tools. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Oh, my kids would definitely go to college and graduate school, and definitely have a job. But their job may be something that is valuable but not high in salary, like a pro bono lawyer, or a physician with Doctors Without Borders, or an MBA working for a non-profit. Just because they wouldn't necessarily need the income doesn't mean there is no value in the self-worth of being a contributing member in society. IMHO. This exactly. My sil has a masters in social work and barely makes anything but she's making a difference every day and that is so valuable, I'd love for my kids to be able to do that, they are already both so charitable, but it's hard to make so little if you don't have much support. Just lazing around and shopping and doing nothing productive would not be a part of any of our lives, there is something to be said for the pride in a job well done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Obviously our kids would travel a whole lot more... Since I can't leave them at home. ;) But, no, I'd still expect them to go to school, be useful, functional human beings. Why would I want to ruin them by rendering them useless? I think we'd all have a lot of learning to do to learn how to manage this responsibly. DH says he'd become a farmer. ;) I would probably set up some kind of dyslexia & executive function foundation. I could see traveling for the first year but after that wouldn't you NEED to be doing something intentional? Something with good purpose? Meh. I think I'd still garden, still have chickens. I'm *not* saying we wouldn't have help, but I suspect if you won the quantity of money they are talking about, one would be wise to give 80% of it away right off the bat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UCF612 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 If we won (we haven't bought tickets) I'd expect my husband to quit his job if he wanted, we'd update our current house and buy the house/land for sale behind us, hire housekeepers and a chef. My husband would buy a truck and a boat. I'd convert the house behind us into stables so my youngest could have a horse. They would definitely be required to continue their education, we would just be able to add way more enrichment. Learning about Egypt? Let's go visit! We'd pay for college and expect them to get jobs. We'd help out with expenses in the same way our parents do. Which includes the occasional surprise check in the mail. But we absolutely would not give them a huge chunk of money. I'd donate a ton to food allergy research and get my oldest son the best treatment available. Now I want to win! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Llol! I have been wondering how much it would take to pay my local U into adding a graduate program in the field I adore just so I could learn. I would absolutely expect my children to focus on education (formal or immersive), whether it's in arts, business, trades... whatever. Feed your brain. Feed your passion. No lumps on a log over here! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I really can't imagine a life without learning and working. As an adult, working (whether in the home or out of it) is so much a part of being human. I would love it if we could have it without stress. Unfortunately I don't think any amount of money could protect us from stress. And working is a great way to fight stress, so.... I don't know what I'd change for my kids if I hit it big. I actually think my kids are too spoiled as it is. Well, I might add some more travel to our itinerary. Maybe set them up in a small business. Maybe give them some charitable funds to manage. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I think it was Warren Buffett who said he gave his kids enough money so that they could do anything they want, but not enough that they could do nothing. I'd pay for college or living expenses during an internship, a car, maybe buy an apartment or small, not flashy house for them in their name, at most. I'd give seed money for a business venture. I wouldn't payroll a lazy, useless lifestyle because I don't think that is healthy and because easy come easy go. If something happened I'd want them to be able to support themselves. Oh, and I'd set up a trust for college expenses for my grandkids. Honestly, I'd give more free and clear money to my parents than my kids. I feel I owe them so much and would be so happy to end any of their financial worries, have them travel, etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I guess I figure if I didn't make it as a SAHM before, I'm not going to make it after. I need to be doing something outside the home. It just doesn't need to come with a high salary (what I do already doesn't)! And we've always prized education & wisdom over money, so why would we ditch one simply because we had more of the other? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Well I haven't bought a ticket, so if I'm going to win over a billion dollars, I might want to do that first. :-) I actually have thought a bit about what I'd do with the money (hard time falling asleep last night) For DS, I'd make sure he has a fully funded college fund (same with our 3 nephews) and we'd do a bunch more traveling. I wouldn't want him to become an entitled trust fund baby - I've met a few of those - so he'd need to find something to do to be a responsible member of society. DH and I would pay off our mother's debts, buy a new house and start a foundation. There would be a lot of giving. Last night DH said he would load up his pockets with $1,000 bills (not even sure if those exist) and give them out like candy everywhere he goes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) nm Edited January 13, 2016 by PrincessMommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 ladybugs Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 My children would still have school and I would still teach. Daddy would just be more available to teach Science and History (his current subjects). I might also hire an Au-Pair that was fluent in German so my children could learn that quicker. I guess that would mean I would need a bigger house. Though I think if I won the current Powerball I would want to move back to Boston (though I have to be careful as many areas are really anti-homeschooling - we love snow and seasons and walkability places), so I could get a bigger house for the Au-pair. :lol: I agree that the money would make DH's and my life easier, but my children will still have the same expectations on them. If I have learned anything in my life it is this, money comes and goes, but knowledge is forever. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) DH and I would continue working, and I would expect my kids to continue pursuing an education and career. I consider meaningful work essential for well being. Now, having loads of money can make things easier. It could help out DD if she wanted to research obscure literature in an Italian castle library. It could help out DS opening his own gym. I would be happy to contribute to these endeavors, finance travel and education, or the seed money for a business, or found a non profit. I would, however, not finance a lifestyle of idleness, because I consider this detrimental for the soul. Edited January 13, 2016 by regentrude 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 For whatever it's worth, I've pulled my sister into my winning fantasy. She's agreed to come live a life of luxury with me (not sure if she's informed her partner, lol) while helping me to manage all of my charitable giving, and we'll be each other's reality check and voice of reason in parenting. It's what we already do, minus the luxury. Though, now that I think about it, she hasn't proposed quite the same thing if she wins... :huh: :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) My kids would each get a new, sensible car of their choice. I would pay for their college educations, living expenses, and buy them a place to live (and furnish it) while they were in college. They would each have a yearly allowance for giving. This will enable them to donate anonymously to people in need and to organizations that are dear to their hearts. I would put money in a trust for them, such that they get $X once a decade, starting at age 30, and they will have money for their retirements. I don't know if I would tell them about the trust funds, except I would set everyone's mind at ease about my two children who have special needs. Any of them who wanted to participate in giving money away with me would learn, with me, how to do that in an orderly, focused manner, so that our goals for the money were met efficiently and effectively. All of them would have the opportunity to travel to their destinations of choice any time they want to do so, as long as college isn't in session. First, though, they'd have to take one international family trip so they could see what that is like and learn the ropes. This caveat would be welcomed by all of them. My kids would always have financial security, because with that brings both freedom of choice and independence. I really do not care what Buffet and Gates think. Their children have always had financial security and, at least through their parents, all the contacts and opportunities available for the wealthy. My kids have not, not even close. I am not worried that my kids would become lazy rich kids, or flamboyantly wealthy. They would all be extremely angry if we won a huge lottery and started living a life of opulence, because they see so much need, greed, and waste of resources that could meet those needs in the world. Edited January 13, 2016 by RoughCollie 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I am not worried that my kids would become lazy rich kids, or flamboyantly wealthy. They would all be extremely angry if we won a huge lottery and started living a life of opulence, because they see so much need, greed, and waste of resources that could meet those needs in the world. I know, right? The first thing one my kids said when they saw how large the jackpot had gotten, "how many compassion kids could we support on that!?!?" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I wouldn't fund a lazy lifestyle. One of the first things I would do with the money is set up college funds for my kids, my nieces/nephews, cousins and cousins' kids. I would probably go back myself, for degrees that aren't "practical". I would definitely give seed money for businesses to several relatives. I know my brother would like to open a martial arts gym. I would immediately hire housekeepers, a cook, and someone (or 2) to help with homeschooling! Someone fluent in a foreign language, someone to work with one kid, while I work with another, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I am not worried that my kids would become lazy rich kids, or flamboyantly wealthy. They would all be extremely angry if we won a huge lottery and started living a life of opulence, because they see so much need, greed, and waste of resources that could meet those needs in the world. I believe my guys would disown us if we ever did this sort of thing regardless of the source of the $$. It goes against everything we've ever taught them, lived, or discussed throughout their lives. If they didn't disown us, they'd at the very least assume some mental illness had arisen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Or any major financial up-change if lotto doesn't work for your imagination. So the moms and I were chit chatting about what if they were to win a lotto as we were waiting to pick up our kids tonight and the topic of what we would do with ir for our kids because the focus. As usually it started because I opened my big mouth. I had one of my other kids with me and he said, "Ah man! No more school for me if we win the lotto, right mom?!" *Winkwink smirking* I responded with, "What is this "We" you speak of, serf? "We" would not have won. Mr and Mrs X would have one. What makes you think I would give you a free for all to the bank? No, no youngling. You must still toil away at the learning and and the getting work." Now we were all joking but another mom laughed and said, "I'd never work again and I wouldn't make any of my kids or grandkids ever work either. Or even go to college. It wouldn't matter. It's not like they'd need a job." So how would you change your children's lives if you won? Yes, another What If scenario which I have considered. I would deeply hope my college kid would complete her education, as in my mind one of the best things about a huge financial windfall would be not one more second wasted worrying about paying tuition. My view for my not-yet-of-age kids would not change as far as I still want them to gain marketable skills and become educated. I would definitely never encourage the notion of, "Well, this windfall is so enormous, there will never be a need for us or you to ever work, so no need to worry about it." That doesn't suit my value system anyway. I still think navigating it would be somewhat tricky, though, as I decide things like whether or not to give them a good car, rather than having them make do with an old car like normal people. Things like that could be tricky. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) For me... I don't think we'd just give them any money until at least 25. They wouldn't need it and wouldn't have the maturity and knowledge to manage it, so it'd seem wasteful to me. We would still insist on college. Someone IRL pointed out that not all kids are college material. But I call BS in that. Truth is there are literally thousands of excellent schools out there and they could just go to absolutely any of them. There is no way I'm buying they couldn't find something of worth to educate themselves about. They would get ONE car given to them when they go to college. Any other car needs, they'd have to buy themselves. At 25, I'm thinking I'd give an allowance, for lack of a better term, of around 100k. That's enough that they can live just about anywhere, though how well would vary by location. It would be enough to cover the basics of life without debt or too much stress if they managed it wisely but not enough that they would be able to go crazy gambling or whatever. They could do whatever they wanted with it. Start a business, work a low wage job they love, or whatever. I think every 10 years, I'd up it to another 100k. So 25 - 100k, 35 - 200k, 45 -300k, and so forth. So they'd keep being able to adjust to eventually inheriting millions when we die and hopefully, they would also learn to manage the funds and do more good with it along the way. And if they learn a hard lesson via financial misstep, well they aren't forever ruined. And it would mean no conflicts where they are constantly asking us for money. No. You have 100k to budget. Want a new car? A vacation? A house? Well take it out of your 100k. Sure we might still give gifts once in a while, but we wouldn't be taking care if everything for them. Nope, I'd not pay for a $50k wedding. I'm not going to buy them a million dollar 8 bedroom house the day they have one kid. I think I'd still home school, but wow. I'd hire tutors!!! For foreign language, Music, art, science and math. Or maybe they would take them elsewhere. Their educational experience would be the biggest change in our lives. I was reading one of those many articles and this lawyer was saying that when deciding who and what to give, to keep in mind that no one needs even one million dollars. Well. Huh. Duh. He's right. Every single person I know IRL has gone their entire life without a million dollars and none of them could even get that much in debt. And anything over 10k is taxed so heavily, it's almost like donating half back to the state. Give someone a million dollars, the taxes they will pay on it will take 40%ish. I don't want to give 400k back to the govt everytime I give a mil away! I don't think I'd give any individual more than 100k. And except for my kids, I don't think I'd do it more than once either. I'm really not interested in changing all my relationships from friendship to financial connection. Edited January 13, 2016 by Murphy101 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I got to overhear some juniors talking today about what they'd do if they won. This was in one of our lower academic classes. Every single one said they'd drop out of school. With the rest of their conversations, I fully expect every single one would be bankrupt within 5 years too. It was actually kind of sad considering we're in school and by junior year they should be able to think more logically... Education definitely isn't one of their high priorities. Big cars, houses, and parties are in their Top 10 list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I'd be torn between paying off all my family's debts and hiding from them the fact that I'd won. :P I have some relatives who really would expect to have the rest of their (somewhat extravagant) lives paid for if they thought the money was there. And it wouldn't bother them if that was at the expense of my kids or of someone more needy. I've paid off other people's debts so many times it isn't funny. And they just dig themselves back in again. But perhaps that's a topic for another thread, LOL. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I got to overhear some juniors talking today about what they'd do if they won. This was in one of our lower academic classes. Every single one said they'd drop out of school. With the rest of their conversations, I fully expect every single one would be bankrupt within 5 years too. It was actually kind of sad considering we're in school and by junior year they should be able to think more logically... Education definitely isn't one of their high priorities. Big cars, houses, and parties are in their Top 10 list. That makes me sad. There is a meme going around on FB about "We could end poverty in America by distributing the Powerball jackpot to every American, who would each get 4 million dollars." Well, first and most importantly, one and a half billion dollars /300 million people does not come out to millions per person; it comes out to a few dollars per person, so someone's math skills aren't too optimal there. But, I think the more profound misunderstanding in this meme is the thinking that poverty is simply a result of people not having enough money and that the repair for that is just to give every person a large sum of money. Poverty is a highly complex social problem that cannot be eradicated by simply giving more money to everybody. Unfortunately, the kids in your class are thinking with exactly the mentality that often leads to poverty. :( 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 That makes me sad. There is a meme going around on FB about "We could end poverty in America by distributing the Powerball jackpot to every American, who would each get 4 million dollars." Well, first and most importantly, one and a half billion dollars /300 million people does not come out to millions per person; it comes out to a few dollars per person, so someone's math skills aren't too optimal there. But, I think the more profound misunderstanding in this meme is the thinking that poverty is simply a result of people not having enough money and that the repair for that is just to give every person a large sum of money. Poverty is a highly complex social problem that cannot be eradicated by simply giving more money to everybody. Unfortunately, the kids in your class are thinking with exactly the mentality that often leads to poverty. :( Hubby showed me that FB meme and we both got a laugh about the math. I agree 100% about the mentality and considering each one of those kids is as likely to win as anyone on here is, I expect that's the reason so many lottery winners end up poor/depressed/divorced/whatever. They're missing the foundation of wisdom. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 For me... I don't think we'd just give them any money until at least 25. They wouldn't need it and wouldn't have the maturity and knowledge to manage it, so it'd seem wasteful to me. We would still insist on college. Someone IRL pointed out that not all kids are college material. But I call BS in that. Truth is there are literally thousands of excellent schools out there and they could just go to absolutely any of them. There is no way I'm buying they couldn't find something of worth to educate themselves about. They would get ONE car given to them when they go to college. Any other car needs, they'd have to buy themselves. At 25, I'm thinking I'd give an allowance, for lack of a better term, of around 100k. That's enough that they can live just about anywhere, though how well would vary by location. It would be enough to cover the basics of life without debt or too much stress if they managed it wisely but not enough that they would be able to go crazy gambling or whatever. They could do whatever they wanted with it. Start a business, work a low wage job they love, or whatever. I think every 10 years, I'd up it to another 100k. So 25 - 100k, 35 - 200k, 45 -300k, and so forth. So they'd keep being able to adjust to eventually inheriting millions when we die and hopefully, they would also learn to manage the funds and do more good with it along the way. And if they learn a hard lesson via financial misstep, well they aren't forever ruined. And it would mean no conflicts where they are constantly asking us for money. No. You have 100k to budget. Want a new car? A vacation? A house? Well take it out of your 100k. Sure we might still give gifts once in a while, but we wouldn't be taking care if everything for them. Nope, I'd not pay for a $50k wedding. I'm not going to buy them a million dollar 8 bedroom house the day they have one kid. I think I'd still home school, but wow. I'd hire tutors!!! For foreign language, Music, art, science and math. Or maybe they would take them elsewhere. Their educational experience would be the biggest change in our lives. I was reading one of those many articles and this lawyer was saying that when deciding who and what to give, to keep in mind that no one needs even one million dollars. Well. Huh. Duh. He's right. Every single person I know IRL has gone their entire life without a million dollars and none of them could even get that much in debt. And anything over 10k is taxed so heavily, it's almost like donating half back to the state. Give someone a million dollars, the taxes they will pay on it will take 40%ish. I don't want to give 400k back to the govt everytime I give a mil away! I don't think I'd give any individual more than 100k. And except for my kids, I don't think I'd do it more than once either. I'm really not interested in changing all my relationships from friendship to financial connection. I really like a lot of what you say here and it would be good advice if a remarkable financial up-change were to occur here. The only point on which I think I mostly disagree with you is "insist on college." I never really understood *insisting* on college, even while I very much desire for all of my kids to complete a degree and have a wide-open notion of how that could be done. (So, I do agree with you that there is a college degree available for all kinds of people who want all kinds of marketable skills.) It's the "insisting" part that I don't get, because I don't want to "make" a kid go to college if they can't appreciate the good it will do them, and there is no way to "make" them care, study, or succeed at college. Where I have seen parents try to "make" their kids go to college, it failed and wasted at least several thousands of dollars. No - I would not allow a kid to just lazily mooch from me while claiming they weren't college material, but OTOH, if they can present to me an intelligent non-college plan/financial concept, I am willing to support their reasonable alternate plan. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 FWIW, no, not every student is college material. I work with several who couldn't do college no matter how hard they tried. They often have other talents... Then there are some who, even though they are capable, just aren't cut out for college - no interest whatsoever. It's their life... and many have other interests that work out successfully. That said, we raised ours with the expectation that they would go to college in the same way that most expect theirs to finish high school. Mine are all there (or finished) and quite happy with their experiences. We just knew we'd have to adjust our expectations if either of the top two situations had occurred in our family. Tried to stay out of this rabbit trail, but failed... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) I would quit. I would still work, but it would be for myself. Our family would seek more education if we had a windfall like that, not less. Edited January 13, 2016 by Word Nerd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 that mom is why the advice was given to NOT take a lump sum. she'd be one of those who was broke in 3 years. smh. a windfall like that wouldn't change my life much - other than no longer worrying about where tuition is coming from etc. My kids would still be expected to get a *marketable* education. Planning would be easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 another mom laughed and said, "I'd never work again and I wouldn't make any of my kids or grandkids ever work either. Or even go to college. It wouldn't matter. It's not like they'd need a job." I find that idea horrifying. How do you have any self-respect or place in the world if you learn nothing or contribute nothing? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 I can't see myself "insisting" on an adult doing anything, as much as I believe in going to college. Then again, I don't see myself paying my adult kid to do nothing. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 I got to overhear some juniors talking today about what they'd do if they won. This was in one of our lower academic classes. Every single one said they'd drop out of school. With the rest of their conversations, I fully expect every single one would be bankrupt within 5 years too. It was actually kind of sad considering we're in school and by junior year they should be able to think more logically... Education definitely isn't one of their high priorities. Big cars, houses, and parties are in their Top 10 list. And yet it is understandable at that age. They'd been in school for almost their entire life. They want to be done already. College students, even those who really want to be there can face the same struggle with that. I think it's great to want to have the kid want it all on their own and all on their own initiative, but I think it can be very unrealistic to expect it. Hence why I'd "insist". Obviously they have free will and can choose to ignore my advice. One I know would because he is. But so much of this I think would change when they could see their options. A student who can't afford the private university that boast lots more field experience than desk experience for example might never want to attend college bc they need to work with their hands more. Now, they could find that college that would meet their interests and their goals for what they want in an educational experience. I suppose if a kid came to me adament that there's no school on the planet that has their interests or learning paradigm, I'd have to think on how to approach that bridge when I got to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 that mom is why the advice was given to NOT take a lump sum. she'd be one of those who was broke in 3 years. smh. a windfall like that wouldn't change my life much - other than no longer worrying about where tuition is coming from etc. My kids would still be expected to get a *marketable* education. Planning would be easier. I think Illinois is ruining the annuity option for people. It's one thing to take the annuity with come confidence the lottery is solvent and will pay every year. It's another when a state refuses to pay the winners bc the state is bankrupt. Why people even continue to buy tickets is baffling and one can only assume they have a gambling addiction? The annuity is the very smart choice. It means that once a year they have to decide what to do with roughly 22million, which is a lot easier of a concept to grasp, tho still overwhelming, once a year for 30 years and it actually should accrue better interest than most savings accounts until it is dispersed each year. Each year the winner could evaluate whether to keep doing what they did the previous year or do something else. There'd be some time to see positives and negatives and gain some learning curve. But it's hard to trust that is actually what will happen when a state is basicly just issuing IOUs for someday hopefully to get the funds on any ticket over $600. Thanks Illinois. I think the annuity it best. But I admit that situation would not make annuity favorable to me either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 13, 2016 Share Posted January 13, 2016 Ds would get his college funded and since his personal goal requires a degree, I would expect him to finish that. Aside from that, I would probably help him get started in life with some stability - down payment for a condo or house, We'd also travel more and since it's just me and him, I'd probably fund it so he could travel with me. I'd either stay at my current school and get a double degree or get a masters in two different history areas. I like the idea of giving them so much every few years, I can see that working for ds as he's been pretty frugal with money so far. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 13, 2016 Author Share Posted January 13, 2016 Help with buying an apartment, that I would do. Then I'd be looking after myself! Forget this 'never working again' business. All of us would keep working. Honestly, all I want in this life is some housing security for all of us. Once that's taken care of, we're good. I can't even fathom not working. Just managing that money is going to be a LOT of work even with great advisors helping. And it's not like I'm anywhere near done parenting, so still that job. And yeah. Even now I rarely just do nothing with my spare time. I knit while watching tv or reading a book. I'm not sure I can just stop multitasking, much stop doing anything productive entirely. And it sounds like it would get boring really fast. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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