MamaBearTeacher Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 My 2 oldest have severe autism. One of their main symptoms is screaming and moaning. When they start they find it hard to stop. they have set each other off and they are both screaming right now with all their might. This has been going on for years and, yes, we have seen a ton of experts and nobody could help unfortunately. I am not looking for advice, but just feeling lonely right now. I am trying to hold on to my sanity. My middle son went to bed screaming, screamed for several hours and woke up screaming. I live in an alternate universe. No, I don't have a great support system. Somehow, the screaming and moaning doesn't attract people to our lives. I don't even expect anyone reading this to understand what I mean by living with nonstop, unconsolable screaming or have a clue what I am taking about. I am just hoping it ends by the time I type this post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaS Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 :grouphug: praying for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I am so, so sorry. It must just flood your body with adrenaline and make you feel stressed beyond what I can imagine. Can you buy ear plugs...but then how would you hear the 4 year old? I am truly sorry and I hope it stops soon. It sounds like a form of torture. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Hugs to you, Mama. That sounds awful. Do you have earplugs? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I'm sorry. I really can't imagine... I hope they are able to rest soon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I do know what you mean by non-stop noise although neither GW nor Geezle is a screamer. You have my total sympathy. Dealing with vocal stims is very, very difficult. They're hard to extinguish. It does get better eventually. GW has been working on having a quiet mouth for years, heck, more than a decade. He's finally able to do it on group outings with his therapist there. We still have to remind him a hundred times when we go out in public, but at least he stops when we tell him to, until he forgets and starts again. I hope you get a chance at a good night's sleep tonight. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You are in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 That's hard. So sorry you're going through it. I would absolutely get cheapy ear plugs. They will NOT make you deaf to the noise, but they will dull it some so that you don't feel quite so much like you're losing your mind. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 :grouphug: Praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Big hugs -- that sounds really hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Praying here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 They stopped!!!!!! your prayers worked though I am afraid to type this. I am going to wait until I say anything to my middle son. My ability to deal with stress has really gotten pretty amazing and I have become more efficient in life in general but the screaming is starting to do something to the way my blood circulates. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I am so, so sorry. It must just flood your body with adrenaline and make you feel stressed beyond what I can imagine. If you do find yourself overwhelmed by the fight or flight response, beta blockers are your friend. My bp wasn't high enough anymore to take them for that, but my doctor said that she felt comfortable renewing my prescription to deal with the stress that GW and G's outbursts generate. Of course, your experience could be different, but atenolol has made my life much better. Even if that's not a solution for you, I'd ask your doctor what your options are because the stress levels of dealing with constant crises cause all kinds of health issues that just add to the misery. I wouldn't have thought that a low dose of a bp med would make such a difference in my quality of life until I tried it, went off of it and restarted it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 They stopped!!!!!! your prayers worked though I am afraid to type this. I am going to wait until I say anything to my middle son. My ability to deal with stress has really gotten pretty amazing and I have become more efficient in life in general but the screaming is starting to do something to the way my blood circulates. Oooh, you poor thing! I'm so glad they've stopped! Just imagining it is enough to send me to my knees. I don't do noise well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 We were sitting and reading very nicely before the screaming started ( one of those real nice homeschool times) It can be so unpredictable. I want to do more reading but I'm scared to go near them right away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 MamaBearTeacher, on 27 Feb 2015 - 10:12 AM, said:My 2 oldest have severe autism. One of their main symptoms is screaming and moaning. When they start they find it hard to stop. they have set each other off and they are both screaming right now with all their might. This has been going on for years and, yes, we have seen a ton of experts and nobody could help unfortunately. I am not looking for advice, but just feeling lonely right now. I am trying to hold on to my sanity. My middle son went to bed screaming, screamed for several hours and woke up screaming. I live in an alternate universe. No, I don't have a great support system. Somehow, the screaming and moaning doesn't attract people to our lives. I don't even expect anyone reading this to understand what I mean by living with nonstop, unconsolable screaming or have a clue what I am taking about. I am just hoping it ends by the time I type this post. I have a friend whose son is severely (mentally an infant) brain damaged from circumstances of his birth. (cord compression). her comment was she wished someone told her brain damaged children scream. make sure they are physically safe - and earplugs are your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 I always think about sugar when they scream. I just raided the stash of cookies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I'm so glad. They must be EXHAUSTED. Poor babies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 BTW, I love them a lot. They're really really terrific kids and they really enrich my life. Emotional roller coasters are really hard at age 45 though and I yearn for peace. I feel like the world's worst mom when they scream. I mean, what kind of mom has such unhappy kids? I feel a bit better now that my oldest is smiling again. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You are one of the most amazing mothers ever. Seriously. Your patience, grace and kindness just shines through what you've said in this post. Their screaming is absolutely no reflection on you as a mother. Have another cookie. You did good. I really respect mothers who love like you, who see these oppositions and just grow in love for their children. You are amazing. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I am praying for you and your boys. What a tough situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Ds (AS) used to do these random shrieking screams when he was little. They were not continuous like that and there was only one child doing it, but it could still set my nerves on edge. I'm glad they've stopped for now. There are people who get it. It is very difficult to have IRL friendships with autistic kids in the family. It just is. I get that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Oh man, you are a rock star for keeping your cool through such a tough situation. I mean this so very sincerely. Anyway, do you have any money to spare? Perhaps hiring a teen or college student a few hours a day to run a DRO program to help them might be worth a try? Perhaps you've tried it. I'm sure you've tried a lot of things. Just throwing it out there in case. But I'm glad you've got some smiles to keep you company now. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Praying for you. I also, had a child that was unpleasant for people to be around and we lost our friends. It is HARD. It does get better, they do grow up, and you do make new friends. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I remember holding a timer and rewarding my spectrum kid for three seconds of silence (yes, just 3) with M&Ms. It took us forever to build up to an entire minute. ((hugs)) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Damn that's hard. So sorry you have to go through that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 (((Hugs))) You are a fabulous mom. I can tell that from here. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You are one of the most amazing mothers ever. Seriously. Your patience, grace and kindness just shines through what you've said in this post. Their screaming is absolutely no reflection on you as a mother. Have another cookie. You did good. I really respect mothers who love like you, who see these oppositions and just grow in love for their children. You are amazing. I agree. {{{Hugs}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 BTW, I love them a lot. They're really really terrific kids and they really enrich my life. Emotional roller coasters are really hard at age 45 though and I yearn for peace. I feel like the world's worst mom when they scream. I mean, what kind of mom has such unhappy kids? I feel a bit better now that my oldest is smiling again. Oh my gosh! Please don't blame yourself!!! :grouphug: I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through, but you sound a lot more like a saint than like a bad mom!!! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You are one of the most amazing mothers ever. Seriously. Your patience, grace and kindness just shines through what you've said in this post. Their screaming is absolutely no reflection on you as a mother. Have another cookie. You did good. I really respect mothers who love like you, who see these oppositions and just grow in love for their children. You are amazing. :iagree: Slache said it so much better than I could have, so I decided to just quote her and agree. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I understand a little. My disabled dd had a period where there was a lot of screaming (middle school/puberty). Hers did get better on the other side of puberty. Do you have access to free respite care in your state? Oregon has good programs for that. Even the best moms need a break sometimes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Won't insult you and claim I understand, but when my first was born he had colic and screamed for hours every day. DH bought me these noise canceling headphones for when I was feeling desperate. Might be one idea. It wasn't magical or anything, but it offered some moments of quiet. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I work with people who have autism and other developmental disabilities. I know what it's like to listen to hours of screaming, but you don't get to go home at the end of the shift. Is there any way for you to get some respite care? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clemota Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Nothing to suggest, just some :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 ((hugs)) Will your children wear noise canceling headphones? Maybe if they can't hear each other they won't rile each other into it as much. Does no good of they won't cooperate, of course. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Could you get: 1) great noise canceling head phones for yourself and an mp3 player . . . Keep them on when you are "on the move" or just plug it into your computer if you are stationary. BLOCK IT OUT. It's not a motherly duty to listen to all that! Just imagine if you were deaf. You could still be a great mom even if you couldn't hear. (Yah, you'd probably sort of welcome hearing loss at this point, no?) 2) one or more baby monitors with lights . . . So, if you really are stressed out about blocking out the yelling (assuming there might be some higher level of screaming that would draw your attention or indicate some actual emergency . . . If you aren't stressed out about that, then I'd just go with #1, and, if necessary, post written signs to remind your kids that "Mom can't hear us, so if there is an emergency, go find Mom." I know it might sound heartless, but, really, in retrospect, I wish I'd done that when my youngest ended up being a screamer. I would have saved myself a lot of agony if I could have tuned out all that crying! (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Oh! No, don't think of yourself as a bad mom because they scream. You know in your head that you're not a bad mom. You know it's part of the dx and nothing to do with mothering. I hope it sinks into your heart that it's not bad mothering. You poor thing. You must feel so alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperstone Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Ohhhh, you poor mite! One child would be awful, two in stereo- I can't even imagine!!! I know I would go stir crazy! You are a hero! !! An absolutely amazing mom! (((Hugs)))) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest2 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Continuing to pray for you and your kiddos. Not sure if this will help, but I used to keep a sort of stress kit when my kids had collic. Headphones, earplug, classical music, progressive relaxation cd, tea, directions for calming breathing exercises, quotes from books for moms dealing with stress....one was from a mom's book and forgive me, but I can't recall which one. In the book, Mother Teresa was commenting on a baby screaming all during mass. She asked if that was the child that was singing? For some reason,the thought that someone could view that sound as singing spoke to me. I used to work with challenging behavior kids, and my hat is off to you ..sweet lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 So sorry. Lord have mercy and calm the children. {{hugs}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I don't think their screaming is related to you or even their happiness. If you don't want to block all the noise my stepmother uses cotton wool when she plays marimbas. Apparently it takes the edge off but allows you to track what is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.