SKL Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 My kids are interested in many things, yippie! Like what happened in this or that Monster High video or book etc. I, on the other hand, could live without this knowledge. I am happy to listen to my daughters, up to a point, but how do I gently teach them to make a long story short? :P I mean, aside from me having better things to do, I can't imagine all that talking is going to aid in the development of friendships, right? Any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 To answer the question...yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 One of mine especially. I often just tune him out. I kinda feel bad about it, but my mind just drifts and next thing you know I haven't heard half of what he said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
go_go_gadget Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Oh my goodness, yes. Mostly just my son, though. We've been working on having him listen to himself and consider what he's saying in the context of a writing summary, so he can learn to choose which details to mention and which to leave out. We don't like to tune him out, so our preference is to help him learn how to have an effective conversation, including realizing when he's holding people hostage to their own civility. He's at the point now where about half the time when he's been the only one speaking for a while, he'll say ''Oh, I'm filibustering. Sorry!'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I tell my boys to yak to each other and leave me in peace to mark their math and language arts. I do listen sometimes and when I look sleepy my older knows I need a caffeine top-up. Listening from time to time help me in picking things they like. When they blabber, my hubby will remind them that they are taking in loops. I just ask them to get to the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWillSoar Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I have one like that too and yes, it's hard to pay attention. I like a little time to myself before school starts and often he is going on about something about some video game. Uggg! But I feel bad complaining about it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 It's especially interesting when they both want to tell me about the same thing, and neither wants to yield to the other. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 .. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Very typical. I used to say that my kids opened their mouths before they opened their eyes in the morning. It's usually worst from 5 to 9 years old. Then they get sullen and moody, but hey, they're quieter! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelenNotOfTroy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 All day long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 You should hear my Aspie talk about his games....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 One, no. One, yes. With every breath. If he could avoid breathing so he could just talk he would do that. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes, dd1.... No I don't know who you sat next to on the bus, I don't ride it!!!! When she gets off the bus it's about an hour of non stop chatter of what happened at school and on the bus (and none of it pertains to what she learned academically). I tune out after about 5 minutes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I have been involuntarily immersed in the world of Pokemon, Anime, and strange foreign music. After 18 years of constant talking, I have realized that yes, you CAN be educated against your will ;) My oldest is guilty of it. She has a lot of friends, so I don't see that it has hampered her in any way. Of course, most of her friends like the same things and they will spend HOURS excitedly talking about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I've managed to pick up way more than I ever wanted to know about Star Wars, Transformers, and I don't even know what else, just through osmosis because my kids talk about them. . . So, yeah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 My daughter is 26 and she has done this since she was 3. She started talking at 13 months of age, was speaking in complete sentences by 18 months. By the time she was 3, she was watching documentaries on television and telling me all about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 My dh does this. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 It's especially fun on a three-hour car ride. :zombie: I tune him out some, but I figure he won't want to talk with me in a few years, so I try to listen and ask somewhat pertinent questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 My daughter is 26 and she has done this since she was 3. She started talking at 13 months of age, was speaking in complete sentences by 18 months. By the time she was 3, she was watching documentaries on television and telling me all about them. LOL..this reminds me of my younger son. He often repeated stuff he saw on TV when he was very little. Infomercials were the worst. He was pretty devastated when I wouldn't buy him the Touch and Brush. He was adamant he needed one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 It's especially interesting when they both want to tell me about the same thing, and neither wants to yield to the other. Ugh. We tried - raise your hand before you talk, my boys had quite even chances of who raise their hands first - walkie talkie style My older says I have a pair of ears so why can't I listen to both at the same time. I wish :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 This is a know-your-audience thing. It takes a long time to learn to edit for your listener. Some people NEVER learn that you tell the story one way for the casual listener and another for folks who share your obsession. It's why we need varied friendships. Kids mostly assume that Mommy shares every obsession with them :-/ Yay, Us, for telling them they're special! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 This is a know-your-audience thing. It takes a long time to learn to edit for your listener. Some people NEVER learn that you tell the story one way for the casual listener and another for folks who share your obsession. It's why we need varied friendships. Kids mostly assume that Mommy shares every obsession with them :-/ Yay, Us, for telling them they're special! Exactly. I have an only, so I'm the only one here to listen most days. He can go on and on about Mine Craft (mind crap as I call it!) and Halo. (Which is interesting as we don't have any game systems and the best he can do is play some freebie version online and watch you tube videos.) But we often have conversations, in the middle of his conversations about how I am done and I just don't care. Know your audience. Tell me you found a great new video. Tell me it was good because it was filmed well, new info, whatever. Do not tell me a play by play of you watching someone else play a game online. The grandparents where here over christmas. Discussion before hand - KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!! And it worked. They talked about school, cousins, golf, movies. The most he got into was along the lines of 'yes, I've got some mine craft videos and stuff to watch." But he stopped there. So there is hope they will eventually get the know your audience thing. But I think they think to some extent that Mom does not count with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 One of mine especially. I often just tune him out. I kinda feel bad about it, but my mind just drifts and next thing you know I haven't heard half of what he said. This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes, my son will do long lectures on Pokemon, Minecraft, Roblox and video games. Thankfully this is actually really helpful to him in making friends with other boys his age. :lol: My brother was the same way until he was well into his 20's (and still occasionally can go there) but it was trains and D&D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Oh my gosh, absolutely. Both my kids would talk about their interests from sun up to sun down if they could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 This is the first year (age 8) that I'm actually unable to listen to the "whole story" as told by my kid. I feel bad about that, but I am glad I'm not the only one. :) I love some of the ideas above. I think I will talk to my kids about this tonight. Maybe institute a code word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Same issue here. I get told about plots of TV shows. We're trying to curb it by offering suggestions like ask someone if they want to know about the details. Limit yourself to how long you talk about it. Pause for breath and to notice whether or not the other person is interested. We offer phrasing suggestions: "I watched this great episode of Gilligan's Island last night It was about .. (one or two sentences tops!). You should watch it sometime!" DS also reads aloud to me from bird guides and encyclopedias. He now knows that it not wise to give me all the gory details about what and how raptors eat. I have trained him not to jabber at me until I have finished my first cup of coffee. This training had to take place if I was going to survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Btervet Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Mine does. If it gets too much I tell him to finish up and then I'm done talking/listening. I don't feel too bad about it, I still spend hours a day listening to him, so he will survive if I tell him I'm done listening for a while to get some peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne J Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes. Oh, yes. Mine can sneak a Pokemon/Minecraft brain assault into any conversation. When asked to cease discussing a topic, he sneaks it in by telling a dream he had last night (I was in the Minecraft World and I was chasing some spiders, when...) or saying, "Hey Mom, I have a new favorite book--the Pokemon Handbook! I found out that Gardevoir can totally beat...." Sob. When I can't stand it for even one more minute, I start to tell him all about my latest knitting problem, and how I am wrestling with which would be the best decrease to use in a specific situation. In detail. His eyes glaze over and he wanders off. Then later we discuss knowing your audience... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liber Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes. One of my ds all.the.time. He suffers from verbal diarrhea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 oh dear lord yes...on and on and on.... :banghead: I keep telling my dh that one day I am going to snap and say something like "It's not that I wasn't listening, it's that I don't give a sh$%" I just grit my teeth and remind myself that I am creating habits. I listened to my eldest blather away about harry potter and star wars and whatever..and now he is a teenager who talks to me about everything. He's just used to talking to me, lol. We talk about books and TV shows a lot, and it lets me talk about my values a little bit, or sneak in some history. But he also talk to me about school and his friends and his dreams and concerns. I have many friends whose 15 year olds don't talk to them about anything at all, and that would break my heart. Now my about to be 10 year old is deep in the minecraft, star wars, adventure time, dragons, Lord of the Rings.... :banghead: But I keep listening as best I can because I want him to keep talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes. One of my twins. I do try to listen, but sometimes (often) I find myself checking out - depending on how much sleep I got. I've threatened to time her. She might be in running for a world record. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 ALL.THE.TIME. Right now. With every waking breath, in her sleep, a never-ending-running-commentary-stream-of-consciousness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Mine like to repeat entire plots of tv shows, movies, books video games. I turn it into an exercise in summarizing. "You've got five sentences to tell me about this book." Then I can feel like I'm helping them gain a new skill and not like I am doing it to keep my sanity. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I just grit my teeth and remind myself that I am creating habits. I listened to my eldest blather away about harry potter and star wars and whatever..and now he is a teenager who talks to me about everything. He's just used to talking to me, lol. We talk about books and TV shows a lot, and it lets me talk about my values a little bit, or sneak in some history. But he also talk to me about school and his friends and his dreams and concerns. I have many friends whose 15 year olds don't talk to them about anything at all, and that would break my heart. Yes, this. My 18 year old that has driven me Pokemon mad? She will talk to me about ANYTHING. It is the biggest perk of all my years of monologue torture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yep. Unfortunately, I have the same tendency... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahbobeara Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I've tried to apply the narration approach to the kids' stories. I tell them they need to sum it up in one or two sentences. When that fails, I tell them that my ears are bleeding, my brains are turning to mush, I'm too old for this topic, tell your father, etc...those are my excuses. Maybe I should offer them a cookie, because they still try to teach me all they can about Minecraft, Pokemon, Blockheads, Cops & Robbers, and any other iPad game they're currently into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Mine do. Generally, we try to gently remind them that we are interested in what goes on in their lives, not in the lives of the Power Rangers or whatever else they are in to at the time. It's hard, because they are my kids, I love them, but I also don't want to give them the message that the world is fascinated and wants to know about everything they are fascinated by. One thing I think they do miss out on by not being in a brick & mortar school is that they don't get that peer rub on a day to day basis. Mom listens to you because she loves you, whatever you say, but peers can be brutally honest and if you're a bore... They'll let you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Mine 11yo. does. It's all about hair and pop stars and non-academic stuff that happened at school. Drives me batty but I've been trying to focus on paying attention and listening to her for at least short bursts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 My DD and to some extent DS both do this. DD is nuts about Anime right now so I get to hear about all these ridiculous people doing stupid things :banghead: . I've tried to gently point out that I have no real interest in any of it. She reminded me that as a HSer she doesn't have a lot of friends and she needs to tell someone about it. So instead I've started asking questions to increase my understanding. When I'm really not in the mood I will let her know and she's pretty good about walking away. I try to limit these "fangirl" sessions to about 1/2 an hour, a few times a week and so far it seems to be enough for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 One word.... Minecraft!!! OMG! I really don't care about creeper this or building that. I'm glad they enjoy it and have something to talk about with each other, but leave me out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I know waaaaaayy more about Pokémon and Minecraft and rocks and golf than any one uninterested person should have to know. I actually recognize different Pokémon, and know how to build things in a game I do not play, and I know the names of golfers and can recognize some of them on television. I try to find a balance between listening because they want to share it with me and....well, trying to think of a way to say that still makes me sound like a decent mom, but I can't...and letting them know if they say one more word my ears will surely fall off and I will go stark raving mad so they must STOP TALKING TO ME. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 One of my children is now 26 and cannot tell a story from beginning to end with a couple of points in the middle. The girl must ramble, lol. If only she had taken writing more seriously she might be better at her story telling, alas, she is more of a poet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronghorn Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I have told my daughter that my brain is tired, and I can't really focus anymore. She tells me that is okay. Then she continues talking, but I do not feel obligated to listen. Now that she is a teen, this happens much less. She sends endless messages to her friends electronically, which gives her an outlet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strange_girl Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I have two of those kids *gasp* Some days...oh, some days are like a new form of cruel and unusual punishment :D On one side I've got a very intense DD7 going on and on and on about horses and tack and gaits and colors and breeding and feeding (you get the picture), and on the other side I've got DS5 going on and on and on and on about Rescue Bots, Wall-E, and all things robot (and iPad). I love reading the posts that say that the ones that talk incessantly will keep on doing it. It gives me motivation to keep on gritting my teeth and listening. We all want teenagers that still communicate :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickerplum Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 All. Four. Of mine. It's insane. One time I was eating lunch and our 5 year old asked if she could color with me.I told her yes, but that I wasn't going to chat. I timed her. She talked to herself without pausing for over 10 minutes. "Ooh - I think i'll color this green! But not THAT green, that one's too much like pears. Oh, I just love her hair! I wonder if I should wear pigtails in mine tomorrow. This crayon's getting short...." Etc. And the questions! One morning I'd had enough of the question peppering and so we sang "how much is that doggy in the window" to get their minds on something else. Good idea, but... "why was the dog's tail waggily? How many dollars was he? Why was he in a window? Is that even safe?" Agh! It doesn't stop. For those of you who don't like comments and questions during movies,you might want to steer clear of our house... :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Yes. Oh yes. Minecraft and Pokemon and Star Wars and Civ Beyond Earth and.... I try to go with it. Sometimes I fail. But I agree with pp that I want to keep him talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 My kids are interested in many things, yippie! Like what happened in this or that Monster High video or book etc. I, on the other hand, could live without this knowledge. I am happy to listen to my daughters, up to a point, but how do I gently teach them to make a long story short? :p I mean, aside from me having better things to do, I can't imagine all that talking is going to aid in the development of friendships, right? Any suggestions? Yes. Every time I speak to ds20 I hear all sorts of information that I can live without . I am not interested in the latest technology in space rocket motors. or the friction of a jet in the upper stratosphere or the fatigue point in specific metal or any of that sort of thing AT ALL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tewyuanagu Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I kinda feel bad about it, but my mind just drifts and next thing you know I haven't heard half of what he said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Yes, this. My 18 year old that has driven me Pokemon mad? She will talk to me about ANYTHING. It is the biggest perk of all my years of monologue torture. Yes! I certainly wasn't a perfect mom, but I tried to listen when they talked when they were little and make eye contact with them while they did. There were plenty of times when I had things to do so I said, " Keep talking. I'm listening. I just can't look at you right now." It has paid off as now they are still talking to me at 23, 20, and 17 and the conversations are actually stimulating. :) Both of my sons, who no longer live here, call regularly just to talk. There were also plenty of times I thought I was going to go out of my ever lovin' mind and I hid in my room with coffee and chocolate chips. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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