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About Pronghorn

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    Hive Mind Royal Larvae

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    New Jersey
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    Homeschooling one seventeen-year-old girl: Life of Fred Advanced Algebra, Life of Fred Chemistry (NOT recommended!), Old Western Culture -- The Greeks and The Romans, Pimsleur Chinese, Fundamentals of Written Chinese, Music Theory, Bible, violin, clarinet, bass clarinet, choir, handbells, dance, drawing

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  1. Are you on any Internet forums for parents of kids with attachment and trauma issues? That would be the place to ask for recommendations so that you get a practitioner that will do the right protocols for the types of problems your child may have. I used to be part of the attach-china yahoo group, where some people there had good neurofeedback results. Our kids have mostly grown up, so the group is not very active now. But you could give it a try. There used to be some of the wisest parents in the world on there.
  2. I have not used it but have heard good things about it. The provider may need to understand attachment and trauma. The protocol is different than f or ADHD etc.
  3. I found the pain minimal, much less than when I had my wisdom teeth out. I felt healthier than before within a couple of weeks, but the total recovery time was about six weeks. I did feel fragile and abused for a while. It was hard emotionally, and I even dreamed of buying a pink car. (Pink is normally my least favorite color ever!) My suggestion is to get counseling early on if you need it. I waited too long. ( I had the additional problem of wanting a child, so this was a big big deal for me.) I did have weird insomnia after the hysterectomy. I would wake up with adrenaline rushing through me, feeling like I was tapping into all the mysteries of the universe. Then I would feel terrible the next morning. I don't know why that happened.
  4. I think the difference in behavior with parents and without parents is often unusually pronounced in children with RAD. Also, in RAD, it is NOT because the parents are safer but because they actually feel less safe. They have some level if attachment to parents, which means the parents could hurt them emotionally more than a stranger could.
  5. If she behaves dramatically worse for you than others, I would think there is an attachment disorder in the mix. You might look into neurofeedback, neuroreorganization, emdr. Have you read Nancy Thomas and other writers on attachment? There is probably a good reading list at I would also suggest you get a professional with attachment experience to help you. And try to get som e help for the stress all this has on you.
  6. We finally have a decision. Where: University of Hartford (The Hartt School) Why: quality professors in music composition program, diversity, reputation in the music field, large performing arts scholarship, not extremely far from home Major: Music Composition
  7. My child is still deciding between University of Hartford and University of Southern Maine. She'll be a music composition student. She feels bonds with the professors from both schools, and that seems to be the major factor for her. The costs are pretty close for us. I think she will mourn for the one she turns down!
  8. Here is my update for my daughter: University of Southern Maine (reported before but now she has a music scholarship in addition) Temple University (scholarship) Rutgers University, New Brunswick Montclair State University University of Hartford (Performing Arts Scholarship) The Temple University scholarship was small compared to the cost with out-of-state tuition. University of Hartford and University of Southern Maine both gave scholarships that cover full tuition, so we just have to pay room and board and fees. For the Hartford scholarship she had to compete at a music composition scholarship day. Our daughter also applied to SUNY Purchase, where she was waitlisted. That school states on its website that it wants homeschoolers to have a GED (or some alternative requirements we couldn't meet). I got special permission for her to apply without a GED. However, I do wonder if that was why she was waitlisted. The music composition person that interviewed her seemed very interested. On the other hand, my daughter did not tour that college before the audition date, so perhaps it was lack of demonstrated interest. Or perhaps others just outcompeted her. I did think it was good that they allowed her to apply without the special credentials they wanted from homeschooled kids. So, if a SUNY school is potentially on your list, you may want to email and see if they will let you apply without a GED!
  9. I think the most important thing for a kid to learn about bullying is that it is not their fault if they are bullied. The bully is the one with a problem. Now you might want to learn some ways to deal with that person who has a problem. But nothing is wrong with you at all if you cannot manage to deflect the bully. Also, this article only deals with the less sophisticated teasing methods. What about the bully who turns every other child against you and leaves you totally isolated. Do you then become the kid who takes a book to recess and pretends you really would rather read than play. How many kids can pull that off, especially on a daily basis?
  10. I think it is good to get and carry a child ID if there is anything about your family that other people might perceive as a red flag. I am an adoptive mother to a child of another race. She came with some emotional issues, so she had occasional public mega-meltdowns until the age of nine. Plus she was tall and therefore looked older. Once in the post office, when she was six or seven, she had a meltdown. I knew she might go on for a while, so to spare everyone's eardrums, I picked her up and carried her out flailing like a fish and screaming. I got to our van, put her in, and was standing outside the van waiting for her to calm down when some women came up to me and asked me if she was my child. At that moment my child was in the van kicking the windows with all her might and screaming, obviously angry. I wanted to say that I certainly would not put up with this behavior if she wasn't mine. And if I was a kidnapper, I'd probably drop this child and find a quieter one! But I simply answered that she was and the woman went away. After that, I got a county ID card that listed me as her parent and had her picture on it. I never needed to use it, but it gave me a lot of piece of mind. Imagine the trauma to a child who was already having attachment problems if the police confiscated her or perhaps even just questioned her! When I tell this story to people who are not adoptive parents, they sometimes say that it is great that people are watching out for children. The incident was very frightening for me, though, and I did not feel glad at all. I understand that we want to watch out for trafficked kids. But I don't want to sacrifice the well-being of my child to protect those children. She is important too! I wish people would use a little emotional intelligence and differentiate between a child who is hopping mad and a child who is terrified. And also differentiate between a harried mom of a kid with emotional issues and a person who is actually causing a child to scream via abuse. Anyway, the best answer I could find to protect my child was a county-issued child ID. And the process of getting it put my child's fingerprints on file for if she ever actually was kidnapped. The process was easy and inexpensive.
  11. My DD has two acceptances so far: Rowan University with merit scholarship University of Southern Maine with President's Scholar Award
  12. I am surprised at the weak evidence for supplements. I have arthritis in my feet. I take glucosamine chondroitin with MSM. My feet actually changed appearance with the supplement! And when I run out of the supplement for a week or so, I definitely notice the pain. Before the supplement, pain was constant. With the supplement I get occasional tingling but seldom anything I would call pain.
  13. This whole idea seems to me to be more like intermittent eating than intermittent fasting.
  14. I have a child who had big self-regulation issues when younger. As a teen she is so much better. We had one weepy year, but no screaming, no carrying her out of public places (good thing since she now outweighs me), no out-of-control behavior. We get some snark now and then. However, I have had so much practice at being non-emotionally-reactive that I can easily diffuse the situation by using humor or being imperturbable.
  15. Yahoo groups, especially the general China adoption forums and most specially Attach-China, where I learned how to parent my child to support healing of attachment issues.
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