Would you engage your child in "risky" activities with Nutcracker coming up?

[Elisabet1]

Silly of me to ask, but, son got invited to rollar skating today. He is not an experienced skater, but he loves to socialize. However, I am holding back because all I can think is if he gets hurt now, and Nutcracker is so close, it would be awful. If he were an experienced skater, maybe. Would you hold back and say maybe after the show? It is a month away. He is not begging to go or anything. But he likes seeing his friends. I was thinking we should just invite them for after to come here. Overreacting or reasonable?

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Overreacting.

[Reefgazer]

Wouldn't hold back on anything.

[Hikin' Mama]

I would most definitely let him go. I'm pretty clumsy and not a risk taker, but I don't consider roller skating risky.

[edelweiss]

Well, my DD11 just went to a roller skating party two weeks ago, and I do have to admit that the thought did cross my mind that maybe it wasn't the best idea.  In fact, my DH said, "Whose bright idea was it to have a roller skating party for a bunch of ballerinas (the party was a birthday party for one of DD's fellow dancers) right before Nutcracker?"  I did send DD though and everything was fine.  

 

In fact, I did refrain from sending DD to some private gymnastics' sessions before Nutcracker last year (and other years as well, I think).  It just seemed too risky/tempting fate, plus DD had solo parts other years.  This year she is just a Party Girl and a Candy Cane, so it wouldn't have been the end of the world if she had injured herself skating.

 

 

[regentrude]

No, I would not limit my child's activities based on the Nutcracker.

There would always be some reason not to engage in an activity that has the potential for injury - it is never convenient to have a broken arm etc. Based on that logic, one would live life in constant anticipation of bad stuff and never get a chance to enjoy skating or rock climbing.

[SJ.]

Definitely an overreaction.  Let him go and have fun.  Realistically you can get hurt doing many mundane things, like walking, though we don't wrap ourselves in a protective bubble and restrict ourselves from living life.

 

I understand that performances and competitions can be very important but so is having balance in your life.  

 

Just curious, how old is your son?

[Elisabet1]

Definitely an overreaction.  Let him go and have fun.  Realistically you can get hurt doing many mundane things, like walking, though we don't wrap ourselves in a protective bubble and restrict ourselves from living life.

 

I understand that performances and competitions can be very important but so is having balance in your life.  

 

Just curious, how old is your son?

10. And last year, he got hurt just before the recital and missed it.

[Word Nerd]

My vote is overreacting. Let him skate.

[SJ.]

10. And last year, he got hurt just before the recital and missed it.

 

I'm sorry he missed it last year and was hurt, unfortunately those things happen.

 

There are so many ways you can get hurt in day to day life but thankfully don't.  Missing out on rollerskating with friends due to a fear of injury for a child's performance is a bit overkill.  Realistically, you could trip down the stairs, fall in the shower/bath, get in a car accident, stub your toe so hard you break it, and so forth, yet I am sure you don't restrict these things.

 

When my boys learned to skate this summer they crashed many times but they were fine, just bruised.

[Melissa B]

Overreacting. I would not consider a month away to be close. And he's 10. I'd let him skate. 

[FaithManor]

I agree with Regentrude. I do think that the situation calls for a different outlook if one is a professional and there are expectations involving money, employment, ticket sales, contracts, etc. For young children and recreational dancers, I think that this is just one of a greater set of social, extracurricular, learning activities and should not rule the day. I would also expect that at this level of dance, there would be other students trained to step into the role. After all, it is also flu season. As a former music teacher that used to direct the school Christmas musical, I can tell you that absolutely there were at least two, if not three kids memorizing parts and lines for each role because inevitably if not the fever ache true flu, the stomach bug felled somebody important the day of and sometimes even during the play! It was imprudent to schedule any performance involving students during the Christmas season and not have back up plans.

 

 

[Amy in NH]

I always think back to a roller-skating party I went to as a young teen where a friend, who was a good skater, slipped on someone's spilled drink in the lounge area and was hauled off in an ambulance with a fractured kneecap.  Ouch. 

 

I don't think you are over-reacting. 

[momto10blessings]

Let him go for sure

[myfunnybunch]

I have a boy in ballet with a show coming up.

 

If my ds was doing ballet for recreation and exercise, I'd probably let him do it, unless he had a major role. If he had a role that could not easily be filled by another dancer, or with a professional company, I'd probably have him talk to his teacher/director.

 

If my ds was pretty serious about ballet, I'd probably let him decide if he thought it was worth the risk.

 

I don't see roller skating as a super-risky activity, so I'd be inclined to say yes anyway, just because I don't ever want my ds to feel that ballet is restricting the rest of his life. Last spring, one of the boys in ds' show danced with a broken arm because he fell off of his bike (?skateboard?). They just costumed his cast. It worked out just fine.

 

Cat

 

[TechWife]

10. And last year, he got hurt just before the recital and missed it.

 

If he's ten, he'll remember missing the recital, so explain the risk and let him decide. 

[Guest submarines]

Your son is old enough to decide for himself. If he is very serious about ballet, he will probably decide not to go after you talk to him about the risk. If it is you who's serious about his ballet, and he just sees it as a fun activity, just as fun or maybe less so than roller skating, he might decide to take the risk and roller skate.

 

 

[Plateau Mama]

My daughter is very accident prone. She's not a dancer, but plays select softball. She will not rollerskate, ice skate etc during tournament season. Her decision. She sprained her ankle two years ago during softball tryouts, playing at the park, ever since we joke that April - July she is in bubble wrap if she's not playing ball.

 

For the Nutcracker I would gave him skip it. I have friends who have been in the Nutcracker the sat few years. It's a big deal. It's a lot of work. If it were just a small production, yes, let him skate. A big production, nope.

[Paige]

I don't consider roller skating risky- even for newbies. Would you let him ride a bike or play basketball? People can get hurt roller skating but the odds are he won't, and if he does, the odds are that it won't be serious. I may not let him if it was the day or two before the show because minor injuries and bruises would be a factor, but a month out seems over cautious to me. 

[Catwoman]

10. And last year, he got hurt just before the recital and missed it.

At first, I have to admit that I thought you were over-reacting, but after reading that he got hurt last year and missed the recital, I can understand why you would feel nervous about the skating. It's probably still an over-reaction, but I definitely sympathize with you. It's not like you worry like crazy every year -- it's only this year because of what happened last year, and you don't want your son to be disappointed again.

 

If he doesn't care about going, why tempt fate? Do something else fun that day and don't think twice about him missing the skating. If skating was a big deal to him, it would be different, but it doesn't sound like that is the case.

[redsquirrel]

Well, I have both boys in the Nutcracker and even though my youngest is 9 he considers himself a dedicated dancer. I would tell him about it and the risk of injury and I know he would skip it. There aren't any understudy boys this year and he wouldn't take the chance.

 

My older boy is a company member and he would skip, with a performance coming up.

 

If my kids were girls and I knew there were any number of possible replacements I wouldn't give it a thought. But, boys are so few in ballet that it really does put the company in a difficult position. Something like a mouse role? Fine, plenty of girls to step in. But a party boy? Maybe not so much.

 

And this time of year our friends know that I am extra protective regarding illness as well. I only mention this because we are friends with one family in particular who can be rather cavalier when it comes to sharing germs...and not so good with the sorts of precautions that stop the spread of illness either. So, with them at least, I have cultivated a reputation of being 'extra picky' about such things.

[Gentlemommy]

Overreacting. Says the mom who's kids went horseback riding and walked across a ravine on a fallen log the day before their gymnastics meet. 😳 Short of duct taping them to a couch, I couldn't keep my kids from doing daring things.

[SKL]

I'd probably let him skate if he really wants to.

 

My sister did break her arm while skating around that age.  It isn't risk-free.  But neither is walking down the street.

[MysteryJen]

I would let him decide. We do know two people who broke their tailbones rollerskating. 

 

It is a little overreacting, but when you have had kids miss important performances or sporting events for injuries incurred outside that sport, I get the overreaction.

 

But he is old enough to decide for himself.

[Lady Marmalade]

I would let my DS go rollerskating, and he's the Nutcracker Prince for our show this year.  He's only ever been skating once- and was terrible at it, but he had SO much fun.  My experience with rollerskating is that the most common fracture is an arm- which is usually because you try to break a fall with your arms.   While I certainly would hold my breath hoping that nothing happened, I would also hope that if he did fracture something, it would be an arm that could be casted and still allow him to dance with caution.

[KungFuPanda]

DDs drama teacher wasn't happy when all of his leads in the musical got together for a standing ice-skating date,, but none of the parents were going to stop it. Life happens. Live it anyway. Roller skating isn't skydiving.

[JudoMom]

Overreacting.

This is from a mom with one son who has had 3 broken bones on separate occasions (none from rollerskating) that caused him to miss an important Judo one year and his piano recital the next year.

[Farrar]

I've got a party boy/ginger snap and I promised him ice skating next week. It never even occurred to me.

 

Injuries happen. But I don't put life on hold worrying about them.

[4ofus]

I'd let him skate. 

 

My ds10 broke his finger a few weeks ago playing TETHERBALL (what?) while we were camping. He missed a piano recital from it & he's currently at TKD winter camp (his favorite event of the year) & he's not supposed to spar.  It's a pretty big drag, but he's been pretty stoic about it. I mean, what else do you do at TKD camp besides spar??? It's a 2 day spar-a-thon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[aggieamy]

I had never thought of roller skating as dangerous.  We're a bit lax on safety regulation in the aggieamy household though.  

[JFSinIL]

You could keep him home...and then watch him trip over his own feet and break a leg.  I wouldn't worry about it.  Let him go.

[Storygirl]

I have three children in the Nutcracker this year, and one is Clara. We put on a huge production (up to 10,000 people see it over two weekends). The kids practice for months. I would be hesitant to let them go roller skating this close to the show (three weeks away).

 

So I get it. I wouldn't let the Clara go. I'd have to think carefully about the other two. There is no understudy for either of my son's parts (party boy and soldier). There is an understudy for my younger daughter's part (mouse), but it is a complex role that they rehearse for hours a week for months, so it wouldn't be easy for someone else to fill in.

 

I'd probably keep them home. Your son knows what it is like to have to sit out with an injury. He may not want to risk it, and if he makes the decision himself, it will sit easier with him. I'd let him help you make the decision.

[TranquilMind]

Silly of me to ask, but, son got invited to rollar skating today. He is not an experienced skater, but he loves to socialize. However, I am holding back because all I can think is if he gets hurt now, and Nutcracker is so close, it would be awful. If he were an experienced skater, maybe. Would you hold back and say maybe after the show? It is a month away. He is not begging to go or anything. But he likes seeing his friends. I was thinking we should just invite them for after to come here. Overreacting or reasonable?

Roller skating for fun?  You are overreacting.

 

My kid played hockey at a competitive level for a few years and I must confess I prayed all the way through the games! 

[SparklyUnicorn]

He could trip over his own foot tomorrow and fall flat on his face.  Maybe you should keep him home in bubble wrap because you just never know what can happen.

 

And yes I am kidding. 

[LucyStoner]

I am pretty darn familiar with how fast skating can go from fun to OUCH. So I get the caution. That said, I'd let him decide if it is a risk he was willing to take. I would tend to lean towards thinking banning skating would be too much of an overreaction but again, I really do get the caution.

 

There's also no reason to strap wheels to your feet blindly and just flail around. You can learn a few quick concepts that will help you skate more safely.

 

Accidents which cause injury tend to happen when people are trying to stop, trying to get up after a minor fall or when they stand up too straight too fast and fall backwards. All of those things can be helped, even for brand spanking new beginners.

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Arp7CqyT7xA

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DNVgNF3AHFQ

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T3OCoRD_gO8

 

FWIW (knock on wood) I've never been injured skating (excepting bruises and blisters) and I don't tend to fall unless I decide to (to practice). That said, I've seen a lot of people get seriously injured skating so I know full well it happens. I saw a girl break her leg within 60 seconds of standing up on skates for the first time. She was in a cast for months and had to have surgery. Very rare, but it does happen.

 

Remember:

 

If you are falling backwards, bend your knees and lean forwards.

 

If you have to fall, fall on your knees and keep your limbs close to your body.

 

Most likely if he goes everything will be fine, but learning a little first can help not only make the experience safer but more fun. Who wants to have to stop by crashing into a wall, KWIW?

 

Please have him wear wrist guards if he goes. The wrists are probably the most vulnerable for new skaters. We instinctively try to stop falls that way. Honestly, I am THAT mom who has 1/2 a dozen sets of protective gear in my trunk. If you are a small person and you go skating with me, you will be handed gear. If you are my kid, you won't even think of putting on those skates without pulling on knee pads first or standing up without putting on wrist guards. I wear them myself, I am not a hypocrite.

[QueenCat]

Let your son decide. Try not to push him in one direction or the other.

[bettyandbob]

At ten I would leave it up to him. I would explain the consequences, but leave it up to him.

 

If he had an audition for ABT and he was 15 I might try to be a little persuasive, because sometimes adolescent male brains aren't good with consequences. At 18 in the winter of early 2004, Micheal Phelps was leaving his house to go sledding with his friends. His mom said "I'm not going to be the one calling your coach if you break your collar bone." He went, but he watched (or at least he says he just watched).

 

The way I interpret it is your ds is not on the edge of a major career breakthrough, he's a kid. He has to decide how important his training is. He has to decide how to calculate risks. Do I stay home? Do I go and skate a little next to the wall and drink sodas with my friends? Do I go and decide if I can master some cool flip I see some older kid do?

 

Besides the skate party, there's lots of ways for your ds to injure himself just being a kid. Are you going to restrict all activity until the show. Now's a good time to learn how to prioritize goals and evaluate risks.

[Mrs Mungo]

Overreacting.

Agreed.

[klmama]

I've known good skaters, skiers, snowboarders, and soccer players who broke bones right before productions, so I understand why you don't want to take the chance. What role does he have? Does he LOVE ballet, or is it just something he does? Major role or loves ballet, I'd keep him home. Be sure to give him some opportunities to get together with his friends, though. Have the kids over for a popcorn and movies night or something now, and schedule another roller skating date with his friends some weekend soon after the Nutcracker.

[Ewe Mama]

I would let him decide after considering both sides of the issue with him.

[katilac]

I wouldn't consider roller skating any more risky than most active/sporty activities, so I'd let him decide. Buy him wrist guards and you have just sharply reduced the chances of the most likely injury. 

 

Also, if you discuss it and he is concerned about injury, he might want to go and just not skate. Sounds silly, but at our rink get-togethers, there are always several who don't skate at all, and always plenty of others who are taking a break. There's a snack bar, tables to sit and socialize, a game arcade, and so on. 

[lovinmyboys]

I think it depends on what else you aren't having him do. My son plays on a competitive baseball team and is their main catcher. His coach was not happy that I let him play at the park the week of their biggest tournament. He fell and broke his arm, but he seriously wasn't doing anything remotely dangerous. It never crossed my mind to not let him play. Next summer I won't do anything different. The risk of getting hurt is quite small and I want him to live a full life outside of his main activity. However, I do see the concern in your situation, so I wouldn't think you were crazy if you made him stay home. Just don't let him go to the park either 😊.