When does your child go to bed and why?

[Mandy in TN]

In the thread about video games, several people have mentioned for in their children to go to bed a 9 during he summer and there has been at least one 8:30. Last night, it was after 8:30 when we ate dinner. Families who put their kids to bed so early, do you have some place to be at 5 a.m.?

 

In our home, kids getting up before 8 is just not done, because we coordinate with my dh's schedule. Do you coordinate with the working party's schedule and that is why you put them to bed so early? Does that person need to be up super early?

 

I have not really ever tried to force my kids to go to sleep. My first one broke me of that by not sleeping. He still doesn't sleep, but then neither do I. If your kids go to bed so early, do you also go to bed early? I don't sleep much. I wouldn't want to be up for the day in the middle of the night. (My step father does this. He says it goes back to growing up on a dairy farm and that is how is programmed. I have no desire to be up for the day at 3 or 4.)

 

Is it that you are done for the day and are ready for them to go to bed? If so, doesn't that just mean that they get up supper early? I like my quiet mornings. Or- does your family just need a lot of sleep?

 

Just baffled at the super early bedtimes-

Mandy

[Ethel Mertz]

DS (who will be 12 in late August) stays up late. He often goes to bed when we do (10:00, sometimes 11:00), which is sometimes due to my spouse's work schedule and the fact that our dinner hour often falls around 7:00 or 8:00. DS often reads or draws for a bit once he gets to his room. He has never slept well; he didn't sleep through the night until he was 28 months old.

 

He usually wakes up around 8:00 am. 

 

 

[creekland]

We never had a bedtime for our kids.  They went to bed when they were tired.  We did talk with them about the health reasons for getting enough sleep and helped them see that if they wanted or needed to be up at X time, that so many hours meant going to bed at Y time, but that's it.  Experience has been a good teacher too.

 

I HATED having a bed time when I was young - esp if that time was before dark, which it often was in the summer.  Fortunately, that was one plus of my parent's divorce when I was 11 - no more bed times.

 

My guys still go to bed when they are tired - whether that's 8:30pm or 2am.  Our whole family chooses when they go to bed and it can vary by the night.

[maize]

We also coordinate with dh's schedule. Since he leaves for work at 4:30 AM and has to go to bed early, we all go to bed early.

[regentrude]

Since beginning of elementary, I let my children decided their own bedtime. *I* was done at 8pm when they were that age, and they had to retire to their rooms. Whatever they did there was their own business, as long as family members who wanted to sleep were not disturbed. Typically, they went to sleep between 9 and 10pm.

When they still attended school, they had to get up at 6:30am, but were frequently up earlier by themselves. DS had phases where I had to forbid him from getting up at 5:30 because *I* wanted to sleep a tad longer.

Now they are both teens and stay up quite late and like to sleep in.

 

I have to get up at 6:30am because I have a job and need to be at work. My kids have some outside classes - if class is at 8am, they have to leave the house with me at 7:30am.  I need a lot of sleep, so *I* like to be in bed at 10pm.

If I am home in the morning, we begin school at 8am. Sleeping past 7:45 is not an option during the school year. Now in the summer, I don't care.

[pehp]

I just posted about this on FB this morning!  

 

We are NOT early-to-bedders.  My 7yo and 3 yo have bedtime around 9:30-10 on summer nights. They sleep until 8 unless I get up early; my youngest has Mommy radar which prevents me from any alone time in the a.m. (alas). So I am just trying to roll w/ it.  When the sun is setting earlier in the cooler months, I'd say bedtime is ideally closer to 9.  They still sleep until 8ish. 

 

My SIL puts her kids to bed at 6:30 and they get up at 5.  I would not survive a day like that!!!

 

My husband gets up at 5ish to go workout and go to work, so we don't see him at all in the morning. Therefore, being able to put my children to bed later at night so we can all enjoy time together is important to us. This means that *I* stay up fairly late and sleep until my children wake me....b/c every single time I try to get up earlier, my 3 yo is up like a chirping lark on my heels. ;)

 

ETA: I also think it depends on how 'bedtime' is defined. My children fall asleep basically immediately when they go to bed.  I have friends who put their kids to bed at 8, but the kids may read/play by themselves on their bed for an hour or more.  My children would not enjoy that because they want to be with us. It's a foreign concept for them to be alone at night (and my husband still puts our 3 yo to bed).  Plus, I want them to know that I enjoy their company and am not in a rush to send them to bed (although of course....I am eager to get them to sleep by 9:30! ;))

[Laura Corin]

My boys have always needed a lot of sleep.  Hobbes goes to bed at 8.30, is mostly asleep by 9 and gets up at 7.

 

Husband is either working from home or travelling these days.

 

L

[NotSoObvious]

My kids have always slept between 10-11 hours.

I can count on one hand the number of times my kids have slept in past 7:30AM.

 

We eat at 6 or 6:30. They go to bed at 9. They are almost 12.

 

I don't force my kids to sleep anymore than I force myself to sleep.

[Ellie]

My babies began going to sleep for good around 7:30-8, and Mr. Ellie and I saw no reason not to continue that bedtime. Both dds slept until 7:30ish every morning.

 

With dds in bed and asleep by 8, Mr. Ellie and I had a couple of hours in the evening of adult time.

[jnaj]

I like the kids to go to bed earlier so dh and I can have time to ourselves. My oldest is 11, so he stays up as late as he wants in his room reading or drawing, etc. Our 6 year old has been going to bed between 8-9 lately, and I really prefer it to be between 7:30-8. We moved a few months ago, so our schedule has been completely thrown off. Our 2 1/2 year old sleeps in our room, but goes to bed whenever we put our 6 year old to bed. She falls asleep pretty easily most of the time, and we are able to still stay up for a bit and watch our shows, read, whatever.

 

I usually get up at 5:30 to go to the gym and workout, so I can't stay up super late. By the time I get home from the gym, dh has the kids fed and they are ready to start school before he leaves.

[angela in ohio]

We put our dc to bed at 8:00 pm up until we had older teens, mostly because it afforded dh and me a few hours in the evening to ourselves, which I believe has been crucial to keeping our marriage so healthy and happy.

 

We started raising it, first to 9:00 and then to 10:00, as they started participating in activities in the evenings. Currently, oldest is adjusting to an 11:00 bedtime to get ready for college (she prefers bed at 10 and up at 5, but she knows that might not work with her college of choice's culture, so she is slowly adjusting to 12-7) middle goes to bed at 10 or 10:30 (she needs less sleep,) and youngest at 9 supposedly, though it is closer to 9:30 or 10 many nights because we aren't home until after 9.

 

There were many reasons for the early bedtimes: I made space for 10+ hours of sleep most of their childhood, gradually decreasing as they approached adulthood, because lots of sleep, water, and good food seemed to keep them very healthy. And we are of the early-to-bed-early-to-rise mentality. And dh gets up to leave for work at 7 or 7:30.

 

 

[Elisabet1]

Most home schoolers I know do not send their kids to bed that early.

 

For me, if I put the younger kids to bed before 10pm, they are back up around midnight for the night. I would like them to bed sooner, but 10pm is probably a good time for us. However, while 10pm is a good time for us, we usually fight to get them to sleep for far longer than that.

 

I want the middles to bed by 11pm. That is where we are at right now. I plan to move it to 10pm after the summer. It is just it is hard to settle down to sleep when it is light until 9:30pm. And it is just too hot here to do anything in the middle of the day, so it is just cooling down in the evening enough to go outside again.

[Ad astra]

My 4yo and 2yo are both naturally early birds, who have never slept in past 7 AM since they were born. Usually they wake up at 6 AM sharp (sometimes at 5 AM). As soon as they open their eyes, they don't even waste a second, jump out of their beds, come straight to my bed and wake me up adamantly. At 8:30 PM, before I even ask them to, they both go to bed, pick out a few books they want to read and fall asleep on their own while listening to me and my DH reading aloud. They both still take a nap during the day, too.

 

Before I had my kids, I had been a night owl for all my life, who hardly went to sleep before midnight and always had a hard time waking up in the morning. My kids have changed me and I've had to force myself to sleep before 10 PM so that I don't feel too tired and cranky the next day. It is still hard for me to wake up so early in the morning everyday... Wish I had a half of their energy!  

[Berta]

My one son has autism and needed to be on a strict schedule. He is 22 now so I don't remember exact bedtimes but it was early. He needed not only the structure of a bedtime, but he required lots of sleep. Bedtime routine was always the same each night or else he would get all bent out of shape, which disturbed his sleep.

 

My older daughter living at home is 18 so she doesn't have a bedtime, but we do have "lights out" in the main part of the house time, 11pm. At 11 pm the livingroom tv goes off because it's on the opposite wall as our bed. My DH gets up early for work and can't sleep with the noise from the TV. So at 11pm she doesn't have to go to bed, but she can't be in the livingroom watching tv.

 

My 9 yr old has a bedtime. She goes to bed at 9pm. I need the down time and she needs the rest. There are days when she will disappear into her room and I will find her zonked out in bed already at 8pm.

[TracyP]

Dh and I are both early risers (5:30 or so). Dh leaves for work at about 6:30 and I love early mornings. I guess our kids have naturally fallen into the same habits. All my kids are up by 6:15 at the latest. The 3, 5, and 6yo go to bed between 7:30-8:00. The 8yo goes to bed between 8:30-9. The 10yo goes to bed around 9:00.

 

Dh and I are usually sleeping by 10.

[athomeontheprairie]

I've wondered this too. my girls don't get up until eight or nine. in the summer we take an hour down time in the afternoon, then they can stay up until 10. staying up that late allows them to play outside for a couple of hours after the heat of the day. I don't like it. but the only time we're all going to go outside. once school starts we have an 830 9 o'clock bedtime that is more strictly enforced.

if you don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn, I don't understand why families but their kids to bed so early, especially in the summer when it is still light outside

[Clear Creek]

My kids all do best with 11 hours of sleep. They naturally wake around 7 A.M., so that means they need to go to bed at 8 P.M. or I will have cranky kids the next day.

[Rachel]

My kids are 6,4,& 2, bedtime is 7:30, they are asleep by 8.  They wake up between 7 & 8.  They go to bed that early because that's the amount of sleep they need, especially my oldest who frequently sleeps past 9.  But he also took 2, 2 hour naps a day until he was almost 3.

 

I had an 8:30 bedtime until I was in high school, mostly because we had a big family in a small house and my parents needed quiet time.  Once I was in high school I went to bed when I wanted but it was usually 9 or 9:30.  However I also require more sleep than the average person.  My husband and I go to bed about the same time but he wakes up about 2 hours earlier than I do.

[HeWillSoar]

When my kids were little, we started a bedtime routine around 7:30 (bath, books and bed) or so.  It started mainly part because at the end of the day, DH and I just needed our own time.  It always worked really well.  As they went to school, bedtime depended more on what time they had to get up for school and how they were doing with that bedtime.  At one time all three kids went to different schools (elm, middle and high school) and their bedtime depended on their age, wake up time and how they were doing with that.  By then, I had given them a time and then told them that they could stay up and read a half hour later.   So in bed at 8, read until 8:30. 

 

Now for summer all kids are in their room at 10pm.  The reason why is because DH and I just need our peace and quiet.  I cannot watch a tv show with the three boys making racket, so that's just what we do.  But it's flexible and if they are doing something with us or watching a movie together, we might let them stay up later.  They also do "sleepovers" together in the playroom and we let them stay up later.  The problem is that they they like to bounce balls and it's very noisy so after a warning or two, it's in your rooms!

[Mergath]

Most kids need a lot more sleep than adults do, anywhere from nine to twelve hours depending on the kid.  Given that, I don't think nine is an oddly early bedtime.  My 6yo dd goes to bed at around nine, and usually gets up around eight.  If she gets less sleep than that for more than a night or two, she starts getting cranky and whiny.

[Mandy in TN]

We don't eat dinner until about 8:30- sometimes later. We don't go to bed until after midnight- sometimes hours after midnight. I strongly prefer that my alone time with dh be in the morning. I would rather have tEa then and I would rather have any meaningful conversations then.

 

My oldest, who is now 23, didn't sleep even as an infant. He didn't nap at all past about 2yo. He slept maybe 6-8 hours even then. At some point in adolescence, he reached a point where we were pretty in sync and slept about the same- about 5-6 hours rarely continuous. That was a bummer as far as alone time with dh, but I understood. He has my sleep patterns.

 

My middle went through a period in adolescence where he was like a koala bear. He could actually sleep more than 12 hours in a 24 hour period. My oldest and I were mostly amused, although occasionally irrated, by this behavior. He is now 20yo and doesn't usually sleep so much, but he has been known to come home from college and basically sleep for a week.

 

My youngest is now 11yo. He sleeps more than the oldest and less than the middle. He will sleep about 8 hours. So, if he goes to sleep at 1a.m., he is up at 9a.m. If he were to go to sleep at 9p.m., he would be up at 5a.m., and that would be unacceptable in our home. Not only would this interrupt our dh/dw alone time, but I really prefer to have a quiet cup of coffee before I start my mommy day.

 

I like that one of the benefits of homeschooling is that a family's schedule can be about how they function best rather than having to follow a school's schedule. For some families, a school schedule would mean no family time.

 

Feeling pretty lucky-

Mandy

[jnaj]

My kids went to bed at 9-9:30 last night and it's 8:15 am here right now. They are all still sleeping. This is why we typically have them go to bed earlier because normally we like to have them up and eating breakfast before this time so we can begin school at 9.

[NancyNellen]

Different strokes and all that. We have a number of natural early risers here. For instance, I will be up by 6am whether I go to bed at 10pm or I go to bed at 1am. It's just how I'm wired. (And my family MUCH prefers I go to bed early, or I am the Wicked Witch by 6pm!) My 11 year old is the same way...always up by 7am at the latest. No one forces him to go to bed by 9pm, he happily puts himself to bed when he is tired, and is usually asleep within 5 minutes. My 7 year old loves to read, so he usually hops into bed by 8pm and reads until his eyes won't stay open - typically around 9pm. My oldest two are my night owls (by our family's standards) and even they are in bed during the summer by 11pm by their own choice.

 

We don't live in a place that is super warm, so staying up to enjoy the cooler weather is not necessary - we enjoy the weather all day long - and everyone has shades and/or blackout curtains, so the light never keeps anyone up.

 

We are morning people...a big breakfast is served around 7:30 during school - 8:30 during the summer. We all sit together, discuss the day, read aloud, etc.

 

It's what works for our family. If we did what works for your family no one would ever want to be around us we'd be so grumpy and irritable!

[HeWillSoar]

I agree, do what works for your family! I'm a night owl but at night, I just want to be alone without distractions.

[sassenach]

In the summer my kids go to bed at 9 or 9:30. They don't have to sleep, but I'm off for the night.  They still sleep in till 9, 10, 11 if I let them.

 

I've always found that bedtimes don't effect their waking time, just how well rested they are.  

[Mandy in TN]

My kids went to bed at 9-9:30 last night and it's 8:15 am here right now. They are all still sleeping. This is why we typically have them go to bed earlier because normally we like to have them up and eating breakfast before this time so we can begin school at 9.

A little after midnight last night I requested that ds at least get in bed. I have no idea what time he actually went to sleep, but, at that point, he was saying he wasn't tired. He had to be at a group music session at 9:30 this morning. When I went in his room a few minutes after 8:30 a.m., he hopped up without being asked and said we needed we needed to get there a few minutes early so that he could buy a new pick. Before we got in the car, he wanted clarification on the Park Day schedule. He wanted to remind me that we would need to come home, because he didn't want his instruments sitting in the heat in the car, but he does want to go to the park.

 

Mandy

[elegantlion]

We are not morning people. During school ds's bedtime is 1 a.m., but he's more likely to be up until 2. *I* go to be about 10pm and there is no way to enforce it, so I quit trying. 

 

Highly unusual, but he is going to bed now 10 a.m. and was up all night working on programming. He also bought a few new games from Steam so he's in play mode. Generally during the summer he'll be up until 3 or 4. He does sleep 10-12 hours a night, which means I have mornings to myself. 

 

We also school in the afternoon. That works well for us especially now that I'm a student too. 

 

Even when he was young, his bedtime was about 10, so he could spend time with exdh in the evenings. Ex worked late and sometimes wouldn't get home until 7. 

 

Ds has stated many times that if he were in public school, he'd show up at noon. So I'm saving myself a lot of arguments and angst by homeschooling  :lol: . 

[jnaj]

My kids are beasts if they don't get a ton of sleep (they might get that from me... ;) ) I have literally been sitting here on the computer all morning doing nothing productive because I can haha. It's now 8:40..no sign of anyone waking up any time soon. It's actually driving me crazy right now because I feel like they are sleeping the day away. I think we will go on a long bike ride tonight to wear everyone out so they will go to bed a little earlier and we can get back on schedule. It's funny because I never used to be a morning person. I really became a morning person when I was marathon training, and now I am just kind of used to it (although I don't get up nearly as early as I used to.)

[Χά�ων]

Ds goes to bed when he is tired. Before he got really sick in February he was working out at 5 in the morning and getting up at 4 so he made sure he was in bed around 8. I had no part in it and he set his alarm and got himself up. I am sure once he is feeling up to it again he will start doing that again.

 

Currently he is going to bed about a hour after sunset.

[Tess in the Burbs]

My kids have always had early bedtimes.  Goes way back to babyhood.  My ds wasn't napping well and I started messing with his bedtimes and found he could go to bed at 5pm and sleep until 5am!  And his naps started getting longer when the nighttime stuff got worked out.  So over the years his bedtime got later, but he was 7pm even at 8 years old.  He needed that sleep.  

 

He's 12.5 now and 9-9:30 is most nights.  Mostly b/c we are out and about until 8:30-9pm in the summer.  I suspect he will keep that time this next year as well.  

 

We go to bed at 10pm and do want the kids in bed before we are.  Dh gets up at 4:30am.  For summer kids are up at 7am b/c we usually have stuff to do or places to be.  

 

So for us, early bedtime works for everyone.  I know at some point they will be up later, but it will be in their room reading...not hanging out with us. 

[Walking-Iris]

I don't have strict bedtimes any longer. I was more strict about it with babies and young toddlers because I feel they need it more. On certain special occasions they stay up late. We were with friends last night and they stayed up close to 11:30. On normal nights, they are usually in bed by 8:30 to 9:30. I'm not strict about it. That's just when they naturally sleep. By "in bed" I mean that at 9:30 everyone, even the dog, is asleep, nearly asleep, house is dark and no one better call us. My soon to be 7 year old, I do have to insist he go to sleep with the rest of us, because he'll stay up late all the time, but also keep everyone else awake as well, if we let him.

 

We eat dinner around 6:00 to 7:30. Very rarely would we eat later than that, and only if something odd were happening that derailed a mealtime, or we were out somewhere. I do have to start the bedtime routine early. If they want to talk, hear a chapter or two, listen to a picture book, turn on music or an audiobook, then they are going to have to start all of that around 7:30 to 8:30. Because by the time 9:00 rolls around I am tired.  I'm not a night owl at all. My kids have learned that they get nothing from me but a kiss a "good night" if it gets too late. Occasionally I will stay up later than everyone else reading or something, but I pay for it the next day. I don't do that very often at all.

 

We all wake up naturally around 6:30 to 7:30. Late nights like last night have us sleeping in until 8:00 ish. If anyone in my house is still asleep in the morning by 9:00, it's usually because they are sick. 

 

My DH and I have never had the idea of adult time in the evening. Mainly because we like to go to sleep early too, and also because I never could see making the kids "go to bed" when they are not tired. We hang out as a family in the evenings, watching a movie, reading, etc. 

[Rebecca in KY]

My son's bedtime is 9, mainly because no matter when he goes to bed, he's up by 7 or 7:30. If I let him stay up until 10 or 11, he doesn't sleep in later--he's just a bear to deal with the next day. Also, I can't allow him to nap anymore because then he's up until 11 or 12--and that's later than I want to have to be alert!

[Lizzie in Ma]

When our life was normal, I did have bedtimes for our girls.  They varied with age but they were dependent on getting up at 8am to start our school days.  We no longer have bedtime of any kind.

 

You asked why, here goes.

Our life is, now, anything but normal due to chronic illness.  Both girls have issues getting to sleep and staying asleep so I let them do whatever they need on any given night.  Sometimes they crash early but then I have to wake them, one or both for 7, 9 and 10pm meds.  Sometimes they are up very late into the night with panic attacks or pain or general sleeplessness.  Hard and fast rules just no longer apply.  Netflix, audiobooks and video games help a great deal.

They are often in bed til noon though one or both have to wake up for oral meds, iv meds, food, probiotics or supplements at 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11am.

 

I miss the simplicity of our old life and it's steady routine but it is what it is and hopefully we'll come through the other side someday.

 

[Above The Rowan]

My oldest from day one has always woken up with the sun. If he goes to bed at 8 he will wake up at the crack of dawn and if he goes to bed at 10, he is still up at the crack of dawn but is a BEAST to live with the next day.

 

My kids are used to early bedtimes since back when I used to work, we were out of the house at 5:40 for daycare drop offs and work commutes. They were asleep by 7:30 back then.

 

Now generally it's 8:30 to bed unless we are out late or something. If they go to bed late, I really find I miss my and dh's quiet evening time. He is in bed by 10:30 at the latest as he has an early wake up for work.

[Arcadia]

My boys go to bed when they are tired enough to sleep. Hubby lets them sleep late so as long as they are well rested at 7am, I'm okay with late bedtimes. If either of them are sleepy in the day, they would have to be in bed that day at 8:30pm.

 

My boys like getting most of their work done by lunch which is why they wake up at 7am.

[Rebel Yell]

In the thread about video games, several people have mentioned for in their children to go to bed a 9 during he summer and there has been at least one 8:30. Last night, it was after 8:30 when we ate dinner. Families who put their kids to bed so early, do you have some place to be at 5 a.m.?

 

In our home, kids getting up before 8 is just not done, because we coordinate with my dh's schedule. Do you coordinate with the working party's schedule and that is why you put them to bed so early? Does that person need to be up super early?

 

I have not really ever tried to force my kids to go to sleep. My first one broke me of that by not sleeping. He still doesn't sleep, but then neither do I. If your kids go to bed so early, do you also go to bed early? I don't sleep much. I wouldn't want to be up for the day in the middle of the night. (My step father does this. He says it goes back to growing up on a dairy farm and that is how is programmed. I have no desire to be up for the day at 3 or 4.)

 

Is it that you are done for the day and are ready for them to go to bed? If so, doesn't that just mean that they get up supper early? I like my quiet mornings. Or- does your family just need a lot of sleep?

 

Just baffled at the super early bedtimes-

Mandy

 

We have never set bedtimes.

 

Well, we TRIED for a while when well-meaning church-folk had me convinced that my children were on the path to delinquency because they were still awake at the unholy hour of 8:30pm. :glare:  DH didn;t get home from work until 7pm, and dinner was 7:30.  If they started getting ready for bed in the middle of dinnertime they'd never see their dad.

 

I also realized that I just didn;t care enough about bedtime to fight over it. I could try to get a night owl into bed at 8pm, and spend 2-3 hours fighting over it, or just let them peacefully do their thing and nighttime was a happy time.

 

My nightiest night-owl managed to avoid delinquency AND get herself up EVERY SINGLE DAY for an 8:30am college class. She did NOT need to be "trained" for this by being forced to wake up early for the past 18 years. She went from waking up at 10 or 11 am to waking up and 7am when needed.

 

I'm very glad I didn;t waste the early years fighting over bedtimes.

 

 

[73349]

DS, like DH, usually gets up at 6 no matter what time he went to bed. But like me, he can find it hard to fall asleep, even if quite tired. If I don't want to spend the next day on Total Drama Island, he needs to go to bed by 8.

 

If I could let him stay up a bit later and sleep a bit later, I'd certainly do it. I'd rather he got up at 7:30 or 8. He just doesn't.

[vonfirmath]

My son is up at 6:30a pretty much regardless of what time he goes to bed.  Earlier this summer we were letting him stay up until 8:30p or once even 9. But he was getting bags under his eyes so we've dialed that back to 7:30-8 and will see how it goes.  (Same wakeup either way).  He's 6, almost 7

 

DD is almost 3 and we haven't figured out her cycle.  I don't think she needs as much sleep as her older brother. OTOH we tried dialing back naps and she started being cranky at night. But she really struggled with sleep at bedtime so we have not found the happy medium for her yet.

 

[MinivanMom]

My kids are always up by 7 am no matter how late they stayed up the night before. If they go to bed early they are up at 7 am with smiles on. If they go to bed late then they are up at 7 am and they are c.r.a.n.k.y. Dh and I have also always enjoyed having time in the evening to be together after the kids go to bed.

 

The little ones go to bed at 7 pm.

The 10 & 8 yr olds go to bed at 8 pm normally. Last night the 8 yr old had scout camp and didn't get to bed until 9:30. The 10 yr old had an evening swim meet and didn't get into bed until 10:30. They were both slow and cranky this morning.

[Coco_Clark]

My kids have an 8 o clock bedtime. But they are young (2,5,6) and require 10-12 hours of sleep to be pleasant the next day. I also require a few hours without them. :) Both will likely change.

 

I slept about 4 hours a night as a pre-teen and I'm not convinced it was healthy. My parents thought exhaustion would teach me a lesson and in their deffense it eventually did, but it took years of poor health, falling asleep in class, and extreme crankiness. I imagine I will always set some sort of boundary.

[Shellydon]

I think kids need lots of sleep to be pleasant little people.  Mine need between 11-12 hours each night depending on the kid.  I want them up no later than 8 each morning, so they need to be in bed between 8 and 9 each night.  Additionally, *I* need an hour or two kid free each night, so off to bed they go.  I can't imagine not having strict bedtimes, I would lose my mind.

[Shellydon]

A little after midnight last night I requested that ds at least get in bed. I have no idea what time he actually went to sleep, but, at that point, he was saying he wasn't tired. He had to be at a group music session at 9:30 this morning. When I went in his room a few minutes after 8:30 a.m., he hopped up without being asked and said we needed we needed to get there a few minutes early so that he could buy a new pick. Before we got in the car, he wanted clarification on the Park Day schedule. He wanted to remind me that we would need to come home, because he didn't want his instruments sitting in the heat in the car, but he does want to go to the park.

 

Mandy

 

I have a kid that can do this, but is so unpleasant to be around that I don't allow it.

[alisoncooks]

My kids have always slept between 10-11 hours.

I can count on one hand the number of times my kids have slept in past 7:30AM.

  

My kids are always up by 7 am no matter how late they stayed up the night before. If they go to bed early they are up at 7 am with smiles on. If they go to bed late then they are up at 7 am and they are c.r.a.n.k.y.

Yes and yes!

 

Early risers here. We eat dinner anywhere from 5:30-6:30, depending on the day. Kids are in their rooms at 8pm, though oldest DD doesn't go to sleep til close to 9. They wake sometime around 7am, and they are not allowed to leave their rooms before 7 (it wakes the dog and then he whines to be fed).

 

I'm content with our schedule.

[Joker]

When dds were babies and toddlers that had an early bedtime of 7pm. They would sleep until 7am and both quit taking naps right around two so they needed all that sleep.

 

Now they are 12 and 14 and during the summer have no set bedtime. They seem to be going to bed around 2am and getting up around 10am. During the school year they are in public school and we send them to bed at 10pm. They may stay up a bit in bed but they are both usually asleep by 11pm and they are up at 6:30am.

[AmandaVT]

My babies began going to sleep for good around 7:30-8, and Mr. Ellie and I saw no reason not to continue that bedtime. Both dds slept until 7:30ish every morning.

 

With dds in bed and asleep by 8, Mr. Ellie and I had a couple of hours in the evening of adult time.

 

We are similar here. DS goes to bed between 7:30-8 and is asleep by 830 at the latest. He sleeps until 7-7:30 in the mornings. We have some late night's here and there, out late to dinner, we're going to a night time baseball game in a couple of weeks, things like that. But he does best with a pretty regular routine and DH and I like to have a few hours of adult time in the evenings. We can play board games, watch a movie, talk. It's really nice.

[kirstenhill]

My three DS's currently share a room and the dynamic really only works if all three go to bed at the same time, so the three of them are somewhat limited by the youngest getting tired.  Bedtime (when they are actually in bed) is typically between 8:30 and 9pm unless we have been out of the house for a special evening activity.

 

DD is naturally a night owl, and if she doesn't need to be up for anything in the morning I am cool with her staying up until 10pm or a bit later.  But if she does need to get up before 9am for any reason (which is most of the time during the school year, since if we don't get started with school by 8:30 or 9am the day does not go very well), then she needs to be in bed by 9:15 or maybe 9:30 or she is super crabby the next morning.  My problem with her is that she wants to be a night owl AND an early bird...so she stays up late and then sets her alarm for 6:30am...and then is mad because she couldn't get up or even hear the alarm because she is so tired.  :glare:

 

ETA...When DD stays up later than the boys, the "rule" is that she has to be in her room or at least out of our way...because we need that kid-free time too! She usually uses her late night time to read, play with her dolls or make crafts.

[MistyMountain]

What does it matter what time others have bedtime? We had various bedtimes through the years and now they have an 9' o'clock bedtime for the summer. The rest of the year they go to bed at 8. We eat dinner early and they get up early but not super early like at 5 am. My kids need a lot of sleep. We build a routine around bedtime and when we need to make it earlier we gradually bump up the time. I am not sure why a 9 o'clock bedtime is so baffling and my kids used to have bedtimes later then that in the summer. Different families have different routines that work for them. It certainly isn't harmful having a bedtime and making sure a child gets enough sleep. Having a later schedule is fine too. Different strokes for different folks.

 

I am an introvert and I need quiet time every night when people are sleeping. I don't go to bed when my kids do and that would be true regardless of when they went to bed.

[Sarah CB]

In the thread about video games, several people have mentioned for in their children to go to bed a 9 during he summer and there has been at least one 8:30. Last night, it was after 8:30 when we ate dinner. Families who put their kids to bed so early, do you have some place to be at 5 a.m.?

 

In our home, kids getting up before 8 is just not done, because we coordinate with my dh's schedule. Do you coordinate with the working party's schedule and that is why you put them to bed so early? Does that person need to be up super early?

 

I have not really ever tried to force my kids to go to sleep. My first one broke me of that by not sleeping. He still doesn't sleep, but then neither do I. If your kids go to bed so early, do you also go to bed early? I don't sleep much. I wouldn't want to be up for the day in the middle of the night. (My step father does this. He says it goes back to growing up on a dairy farm and that is how is programmed. I have no desire to be up for the day at 3 or 4.)

 

Is it that you are done for the day and are ready for them to go to bed? If so, doesn't that just mean that they get up supper early? I like my quiet mornings. Or- does your family just need a lot of sleep?

 

Just baffled at the super early bedtimes-

Mandy

 

I prefer to be up at 5am.  I like the quiet and I find I'm much more productive first thing in the morning.  If I stay up late at night I just end up watching TV - total waste of time.  Now that my kids are older, I'm finding it harder and harder to get to bed when I want to.  In a perfect world, I'd be in bed by 9:30.  However, even getting my boys to bed by 9 is difficult and then someone has to be awake to make sure their lights aren't on until midnight.  The reason they stay up as late as they do is so that dh has time to spend with them - he's gone by about 7am.  I like to have the boys up by about 7 so they can get started on their work by 8 so that they have time to get everything done before dh gets home in the evening.

[rmtzc2009]

My kids 10,8,5 get up just as early regardless of when they go to bed.  So we typically have bedtimes since the kids will be up early and waking us up early.  School schedule is bed between 8-9.  We have relaxed some for the summer with a 9:30-10:30 bedtime.  That is only because the kids are letting me sleep in a little in the morning so I don't mind that we are all up later at night.

[kbutton]

We have no ability to coordinate with my DH's work schedule. My 10 y.o. has recently been staying up until the late hour of 9 or 9:30. He needed a lot of sleep (and still does comparatively), but going to bed later and getting up later just didn't take. This child came pre-programmed to go to bed at 8 for years and did so until recently. As a young toddler, he would start walking down the hall with his blanket every night at 8. If he was outside, he'd try to pull us inside and do the same. He couldn't tell time, but it was always 8:00 on the dot.

 

My litter one goes to sleep around 9:30 and is the first one up in the AM. He doesn't require a lot of sleep.

 

I try to do bedtimes in a way that balances the variable needs around here (including my need to be alone). I didn't sleep as a kid, and it was torture, so I try to keep that to a minimum with my kids.