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Sleeping in the house alone


DawnM
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UGH.  I used to not sleep well when DH was out of town, then as the boys got older I was fine.

 

Then he went with the boys away on a camping trip and since the dogs were here, I was ok.

 

This time he is taking the kids and the dogs with him and I will have 2 nights alone in the house.  

 

I don't think I will be able to sleep!

 

Can you sleep alone in the house?

 

I know I am just a big baby.

 

The reason he has to take the dogs in post #29.

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Not well.  I tend to stay up later than I should to prolong going to bed.

 

Like right now.  Hubby is away until Thursday and my two older boys are away also.  Although  I'm not totally alone.  The three youngers are with me and a cat.

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If in a stand alone house no, I don't like being alone in a big space.

In my condo or in a hotel or service apartment then I would be asleep at my usual bedtime which is past midnight. I like having neighbors that are very near. I just feel safer with people nearby. I pick campgrounds that are crowded too because of that.

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I was single till mid 30s, but hated staying at home by myself all those years. I worked night shift half the week which helped. I liked having a dog. I would see if the dogs could stay with you, borrow a friend's dog, go away on a retreat with a friend, visit a relative, or have a friend over to watch movies. I hated storms in the middle of the night when I was all alone!

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If in a stand alone house no, I don't like being alone in a big space.

In my condo or in a hotel or service apartment then I would be asleep at my usual bedtime which is past midnight. I like having neighbors that are very near. I just feel safer with people nearby. I pick campgrounds that are crowded too because of that.

Can you tell us what a service apt is? I'm not familiar with that form of housing?

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UGH.  I used to not sleep well when DH was out of town, then as the boys got older I was fine.

 

Then he went with the boys away on a camping trip and since the dogs were here, I was ok.

 

This time he is taking the kids and the dogs with him and I will have 2 nights alone in the house.  

 

I don't think I will be able to sleep!

 

Can you sleep alone in the house?

 

I know I am just a big baby.

I would ADORE this. I cannot remember the last night I spent alone. This is not a cliche. I literally don't remember. It might have been 20 years ago. Even when I get away from home occasionally, I'm with other people. Two days alone sounds glorious. If you really can't sleep, watch movies all night then nap all the next day. I wouldn't even put on pants except to pick up chipotle and ice cream. Embrace this for those of us with no hope of solitude ever.

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I would ADORE this. I cannot remember the last night I spent alone. This is not a cliche. I literally don't remember. It might have been 20 years ago. Even when I get away from home occasionally, I'm with other people. Two days alone sounds glorious. If you really can't sleep, watch movies all night then nap all the next day. I wouldn't even put on pants except to pick up chipotle and ice cream. Embrace this for those of us with no hope of solitude ever.

 

I was going to say "No problem', but then I realized that I am not sure I have ever slept alone other than in a hotel. (Family, roommate, dog/s, partner, kids.) Maybe before kids, when dh slept in the lab to monitor *stuff*?  Does a partner on a work trip when you're pregnant count as alone?  That would be a couple of decades. My dh travels frequently, but most often there have been kids & pets.

 

Although, I get that it can be uncomfortable. Dogs are good. Also, sleep keep your phone charged & nearby. Ditto your car alarm remote.

 

Maybe don't worry about sleeping? Watch a boatload of movies (or Titanic ;))  if you want, and sleep in when the sun rises.

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Can you tell us what a service apt is? I'm not familiar with that form of housing?

A serviced apartment is kind of like an extended stay hotel room. The apartments are furnished and typically rented by corporations for temporary relocation housing or for business trips that are a month or two. It's cheaper than a hotel but pricier than a rental in an apartment complex.

 

For example the service apartment hubby's company put us up at for temporary housing is fully furnished like a hotel suite including a crib and high chair for my oldest who was 8 months old then. The kitchen was fully equipped with cooking utensils, chinaware, cutlery, wine glasses, new cutting boards and other kitchen stuff. Vacuum cleaner, iron and ironing board was provided but there is a number to call for housekeeping and laundry services. No room service for food though.

 

An unfurnished apartment unit in the same complex or area would have cost about $1,500 per month for a one year lease at that time but the company was charged about $3k for all the "frills" for the two bedroom apartment unit.

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I hate it when DH is gone overnight, but I had to somewhat get used to it when he worked out of town during the week for about a year and a half.  I stayed up way too late most nights watching netflix on my phone in bed and then I would take a nap the next afternoon to make up sleep.  Next weekend he is going on an overnight camping trip with our oldest son and I am already not looking forward to it.  I like time alone away from everyone, but only during the day.  At night I like DH around.

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so, it's not just me?  dh doens't travel for work anymore, so I'm rarely home alone.  and 2ds lives at home, so there's another adult.  dudeling doens't count.

 

I also don't sleep when we go camping.  (and it's not the air mattress.)

 

 

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I'm not sure I've ever had to sleep in a house alone! Truly, I can't remember. Dh travels on and off but I've always had the kids or once when he went on an overnight with the boys (ONE night) the dog was here. She's a Shih-Tzu and not really going to protect me if we had an intruder anyway. That said, I don't mind when dh isn't here,  I miss him but I sleep the same whether he's home or not. 

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I would ADORE this. I cannot remember the last night I spent alone. This is not a cliche. I literally don't remember. It might have been 20 years ago. Even when I get away from home occasionally, I'm with other people. Two days alone sounds glorious. If you really can't sleep, watch movies all night then nap all the next day. I wouldn't even put on pants except to pick up chipotle and ice cream. Embrace this for those of us with no hope of solitude ever.

 

me too!   I have slept alone when dh took the kids someplace without me many years ago.  It.was.wonderful. 

 

However, most women I know don't sleep well when their hubby is away. 

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My kids have always been home. But when dh is gone, I usually stay up really late (4 am) and then crash.  Now that my kids are older and stay up late, I would be able to go to sleep, I think. 

 

I know it's an irrational fear. I don't really think someone would break into the house. Ever.

 

Since I don't think I've slept entirely alone in the house in over 20 years, I can't imagine.

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When we first moved here (well, maybe 2 years into it), dh was away for a night and a drunk man tried to break into our house. I had 3 young kiddos and no dog at the time. It scared me so badly that I couldn't sleep well for a long time if he was away.

 

Now it's much easier.

 

If I do get scared, I cradle my leather-covered bible to my chest as I sleep. Weird, huh? :blush:

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He can't.

 

Here is what is happening.  He is headed up to see his mother with the boys and dogs for 6 nights/7 days.

 

I have two nights to stay alone in the house and then will be heading out for my own trip for 4 nights/5 days for a reunion.

 

So, if he left a dog, I would need to pay someone to watch the dog for 5 days.

 

The reason he is taking the dogs is to avoid having to pay someone.

 

There is a one night gap there where a friend is coming to stay with me as she needs a ride to the reunion.  So that night I will be ok.

 

Dawn

 

 

Make him leave one dog with you, and then you'll be fine. :)

 

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We have 2.5 acres and our neighbors all have acreage.  Even if I screamed I don't t think they would hear me.

 

 

No problems sleeping alone.  

 

I do have issues with sleeping in a noisy house due to neighbors who want to share their music with the neighborhood.

 

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My dh has traveled constantly ( I posted briefly about it in the airline thread) throughout our entire marriage.   For us, this was the year that our last kiddo left for college (and we do not own a dog and we do live in a somewhat rural neighborhood.)  Although it feels slightly different, for me there is a little bit of the "Are you kidding me? I'm alone in my own house!" kind of bliss going on.   :tongue_smilie:  Everything stays in place, I can cook (or not) whatever I please, I can listen to whatever background music I choose, I can watch (or not) anything my little heart desires, I can read until my eyes beg for mercy, I can putter, or complete a project, or work outside, or surf the net, or pet the cats, or whatever.  All of this enables me to sleep well, but that's just me.

 

Would it help to leave some lights on in other parts of the house, particularly towards the front in order to make it appear as though people are still up and awake?  What about leaving a TV or some music playing?  In all likelihood, you will not feel quite so solo if you hear some background noise.  Would you feel more comfortable sleeping in a room other than the master bedroom? Sometimes just a change of scenery is calming and therapeutic.

 

GL and try to savor the silence (for a brief time!)  :grouphug:

 

 

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I actually sleep better when my husband is gone.  I love the man, but I like being by myself, too.  It doesn't make any difference to my sleep if my kids are here or not.  I do have dogs, bu that's a relatively new thing (less than 2 years), so that doesn't make any difference to me, either.  

I live in a town home, and for a while our neighbor (the one we share a wall with) had hers for rent.  We joked that we should rent it.  That way he could have his place with room for his stuff, and I could have mine, and we'd be close enough for visits whenever we wanted.  It was only half a joke.  

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Right now I sleep much better without DH. He works out of town three weeks in a row and then is home for one week. I have a hard time sleeping that week he is here. But it is because that is what I am used to. When he has had different jobs that let him be home, I would sleep better with him. It has flip-flopped a couple times in our marriage due to job schedules. Plus we have always had a BIG ( and what some would consider scary ) dog and kids now.

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Doesn't bother me at all. In fact I'd rather be alone-alone, than alone with the kids without dh around.

 

:iagree:

 

My husband will be out of town all of this coming week and I won't have any problems sleeping.  I will, however, be...not nervous, that isn't the right word...I guess mindful of the fact that I am completely on my own with the three small children.  What if I fall down the stairs and break my leg?  What if one of them needs medical attention at night?  What if the car breaks down when we are away from home?  Clearly none of those are insurmountable obstacles, but being on my own with the kids and having to handle everything on my own makes me cognizant of how many things could go wrong.

 

Wendy

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Dh and the kids went down to his parents' house for the weekend. It is the first time I have been home completely alone in at least 11 years. I hate being alone in the house especially at night. I don't sleep well when Dh is away, but I have found it is harder to be completely alone. They'll be home soon, and I am so happy.

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He can't.

 

Here is what is happening.  He is headed up to see his mother with the boys and dogs for 6 nights/7 days.

 

I have two nights to stay alone in the house and then will be heading out for my own trip for 4 nights/5 days for a reunion.

 

So, if he left a dog, I would need to pay someone to watch the dog for 5 days.

 

The reason he is taking the dogs is to avoid having to pay someone.

 

There is a one night gap there where a friend is coming to stay with me as she needs a ride to the reunion.  So that night I will be ok.

 

Dawn

 

Well, if he's taking the dogs to save money I guess that rules out staying in a hotel for one night. Given that you're so rural -- I have to say, I wouldn't stay alone. I'd hotel it or find a friend to stay with.

 

That's me. I know I have a problem.

 

Last resort: stay up all night w/ lights on and watch Downton Abbey.

 

If you lived close you could totally stay with us. I often think there should be a service for women in this situation. I'd pay. I used to wish I had someone who'd walk me to my car when I had a late college class. I think DH used to meet me outside of classes in the dark and walk me to my car come to think of it.

 

PM me, maybe you are close.

 

Alley

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I honestly couldn't tell you if I'd have trouble, because I can't remember the last time I slept alone in my house.

 

I have no trouble sleeping alone in hotels, which I do from time to time. In fact, I love staying in hotels by myself.

 

But, yeah, if we count the dog and/or kids as being "not alone," then I haven't spent a night alone in a house in literally longer than I can remember. I am not generally weirded out being by myself, though.

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