scrapbabe Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Just curious to know what kind of relationships others have with their in laws. Things are so bad with mine that they are not allowed to see or talk to my kids and are not welcome in my home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I feel guilty saying this because I see terrible stories on these boards. However, my MIL is a wonderful person. She has her own life, but wants to hear about her grandchildren and do things with them (take oldest to action adventure movies, take dd to plays, etc) She likes to be invited to performances and/or games and tries to come when she can. She will babysit, but we only ask occasionally. She's the right mix of being interested and involved without demanding anything from us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Mine were both wonderful, especially my mil. She was like a second mom to me. Fil had Alzheimer's and was "gone" mentally for years before he died in 2011. Mil died last fall of recurring cancer and we all miss her so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 A bit crazy but altogether fantastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My MIL is great. My FIL has passed away, but he was humorous when living. When we first married, my MIL told me that she would NEVER ask her son (my dh) if he was coming HOME - since his home was no longer with them but was now with me. She has always been sweet and thoughtful and offers to help if she can. She has always been supporting and positive. We have always lived far away from them, but I would like her to live close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I feel guilty saying this because I see terrible stories on these boards. However, my MIL is a wonderful person. She has her own life, but wants to hear about her grandchildren and do things with them (take oldest to action adventure movies, take dd to plays, etc) She likes to be invited to performances and/or games and tries to come when she can. She will babysit, but we only ask occasionally. She's the right mix of being interested and involved without demanding anything from us. Betty, my MIL was very much the same way, loving and interested but not prying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 ....nice people that live far away in another state. We see them once a year or every other year when we go back to visit. Other than that, we exchange cards for holidays and birthdays. DH talks to them on the phone once a month. They're fine with our level of involvement and so are we. DH is the youngest of 9, and all his siblings live near his parents - MIL and FIL have around 26 grandkids plus a bunch of great-grandkids that live near them, so they're plenty busy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My mom-in-law and her husband are fantastic; just exactly the kind of mom-in-law I hope to be one day. Truly wonderful, and I love her dearly. My father-in-law is basically absent from our lives, by his choice, though we continue to reach out and hold out hope he'll become more communicative in the future; time, distance, multiple time zones to cross, etc. all make things harder than if we all lived locally/local-ish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 MIL is an insane whackadoodle. (my fil is deceased since long before dh and I met.) contact with her was only once or maybe twice a year because of distance. she is a great source of stories however. ;p I'm sorry you've had to put such strict limits on contact. I've had to do go no-contact with my own brother. It is not something one does lightly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in Jax Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are kind, supportive, accepting and completely nuts -- in the best possible way. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandymom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Don't always see eye to eye with our decisions, but usually stay out of it unless asked. And they love the grandkids like nobody's business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I feel guilty saying this because I see terrible stories on these boards. However, my MIL is a wonderful person. She has her own life, but wants to hear about her grandchildren and do things with them (take oldest to action adventure movies, take dd to plays, etc) She likes to be invited to performances and/or games and tries to come when she can. She will babysit, but we only ask occasionally. She's the right mix of being interested and involved without demanding anything from us. Please don't feel guilty. I know women with wonderful mils (including one who treated her ex-dil's - who dumped her worthless son - new child like one of her own grandkids) - I'm happy for them, and take solace there are women out there with good mils. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 They are not very involved in our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My inlaws are....people! While we generally have a good relationship we've had our moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Now that my MIL (FIL died 7 years ago) lives across the ocean I like her a lot. We Skype weekly. Honestly the problems we had when they still lived in the States are pretty much my fault. We'll see in a few hours what it's like to be around her again since our flight to Ireland takes off in a couple hours and then we'll be together most of the next month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Our situation is like OP's except we will be in the same room with them in large group situations (like extended family funerals. We cut off contact after escalating verbally abusive comments and threats. They won't act out in large groups as others would call thrm out on their behavior. We cut our landline after a child picked up the phone before I could intercept the call. Grandma told kid I was blaming her for his sister's cancer. Child answering the phone was 7. That was the third instance of bad behavior, anf the first directed at a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Duplicate... Typing on phone while nursing...sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 ...deceased. Even though my MIL and I had our conflicts from time to time, it breaks my heart that my kids never really got to know her or FIL. He passed away when my oldest was not quite a year old, and MIL passed away 2 days after my youngest was born. I didn't even notice I was in labor for several hours, because we were keeping vigil at her bedside in ICU. I delivered dd on one floor of the hospital, while she was dying on another. :crying: Thankfully, a sweet nurse on the maternity ward pulled some strings, and they let us take the baby over to palliative care so that MIL could see her before she died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dontknow Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My mother and father in-laws are the best! They know how to keep their distance, yet "be there". Since my parents are both passed away, they are the sole grandparents to our child. This puts them in a special category for me. They don't have a mean bone in their body. My sister-in-laws are nice for the most part (one of them is incredible), but one is into herself so much I don't have much in common while another is nice but... well.... nice.. I leave it at that. One of my brother-in-laws is my best friend. The other is nice as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranquility7 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 ... not perfect, and neither are we. But they are such a blessing to us anyway! We are very thankful for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 .... now my ex-ILs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 .... now my ex-ILs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws did an amazing job of raising my DH. My DFIL passed away many years ago. My oldest is the only one of his six grandchildren that he ever met. DFIL LOVED my son. My DMIL lives too far away. I wish she could have more interaction with my kids. We keep trying to convince her to spend more time here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabrizia Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Awesome. I love my In-laws they understand boundaries, love seeing the kids, help out when we need it, and will occasionally just show up to visit because they think I could us the break (after checking before coming to make sure it is okay). Seriously I totally lucked on in the in-law lottery, mine rock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Insane in the membrane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are ....your typical version of family dysfunctional, but are still good and loving people. Dh's in-laws are.....in jail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are poisonous. We have no contact with with MIL or SIL, or anyone - friend or extended family - that is in a close relationship with them. To do so is to invite discord and sustained emotional abuse into our home and DH decided he finally had enough of his mother's antics and cut off all ties to her. The only "in-laws" we have contact with are one aunt's family and his ex-stepdad's family. None of them speak to MIL for the same reasons we don't, so we've managed to maintain a somewhat decent relationship with her. DS19 is having issues with his future SIL. As the kids get closer to choosing a wedding date, the SIL is showing her true colors and they aren't pretty. We're having flashbacks of MIL's drama and we have to tread lightly b/c we don't want to alienate DD just b/c her older sister is a conniving, manipulative, b****. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 in canada and i only have to see them about once every three years, which is just about perfect Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Awesome. I love my in laws. I'm closer to them than my own parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My mother-in-law was a wonderfully kind, helpful woman who never tried to insert her opinion into my marriage of parenthood. Unfortunately, she passed away 12 years ago. My father-in-law is not a bad guy, but he is a depressive person and it is difficult to be around him for very long (yes, he receives treatment for this). He remarried and, for the most part, his wife is a kind person, but she is also a very religious person and has been arrogant and obnoxious and underhanded at times in the past, even trying to get our son baptized behind our backs on more than one occasion. She has not tried such things in the past couple of years, though. I forgave and moved on, and we get along well enough now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 FIL is a bit interesting but has always been good to me and the kids. He always remembers their birthdays and tried to visit during birthdays and holidays. he liked that I have a German heritage like he does and that I cook a German meal for him when he visits. He has come on several vacations with us over the years and has watched the kids for several days when dh and I went out of town. He was very generous, very knowledgeable of everything and I enjoyed many good conversations with him over the years. He has been ill the past 2 years and has isolated himself from all family :sad: we don't know the exact state of his health and miss him greatly, we have tried to see him several time a years. The kids have many fond memories of their grandpa For someone who was not married when I met him he never missed a birthday or anniversary in the 25 years I've known him. MIL lived cross country and was not wellwhen I met her. She was kind, loved the grandkids although she did not see them often. She passed away when my 2nd son was 1. I hope to be a good mil and find that balance between loving my grandkids without annoying the parents kwim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are awesome! I consider myself very fortunate to have such great in-laws...I know a lot of people don't. They're visiting this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are dead. My F-I-L was born in 1894, and died in 1980, a year before I met DH. My M-I-L (reposed in 2010) was the joy of our lives and my deeply beloved second mother. I miss her so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 I'm so glad so many of you enjoy your in laws. As the mother of all boys I pray that I will have a good relationship with my future daughter in laws. I tried for years to be a good DIL but recent events make it unsafe and impossible to have any relationship with my DH's parents. He still maintains a relationship with his parents but agrees that the kids and I should not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aoife Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My FIL and step-MIL are both awesome! they are very kind and welcoming people and they sure do love their grandbabies <3 I never got the chance to meet my hubby's mother as she passed away before we met but I hear she was an all around awesome person who I would have gotten along with great. I definitely lucked out in the in-law department lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in TX Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Lovely people who are very dear to me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom23Boys Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Just curious to know what kind of relationships others have with their in laws. Things are so bad with mine that they are not allowed to see or talk to my kids and are not welcome in my home. Amazing. I love mine. We live right next door to them, by choice and it is wonderful. My husband and I both have good relationships with them and my kids adore them. My mom? You couldn't pay me enough to live right next door to her. No amount of money would be worth it. Maybe if our only other option was being homeless. We see her and have a relationship with her, but we don't see her that often. And she only lives a few miles away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are....criminal (and convicted), addicts, manipulative, and violent. We have had no contact with them for almost a decade. That will never change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Complete this statement. My in-laws are..... :::runs screaming from the room::: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori C- Texas Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 We keep our distance. We probably see each other once a year or every other year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Fil and wife- awesome people. MIL- bat@#*& crazy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 ... 10,000 miles away. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My inlaws are fun to have around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Really wonderful. My mil comes over every Monday morning and folds laundry for me. She doesn't drive, my fil drops her off while he does volunteer work. She enjoys the company (chaos, insanity, etc.) and spends time with her grandkids. I get most of my laundry folded. It's a win-win situation. I love my in-laws. They are truly good people. They are perfect in-laws. They are there when we need them, but they mind their own business and only give advice when asked for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My MIL has her flaws (like we all do), but they're ones I can easily deal with. Overall she's been fantastically supportive and always available to help when we need her. FIL passed away several years ago, but he was an all around good guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My in-laws are... dead. They both passed away last year. They were wonderful people. I miss them both. My mom-in-law died last year (preceded in death 2 years earlier by FIL). I miss her a ton. Her birthday is this week and I'm afraid I'll do something macabre like post on her FB page. I just miss her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Divorced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodhaven Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 My IL's are sweet! They live with us, and I love that they are here for the kids. My FIL has poor memory now, but he tells great stories from his youth and my kids LOVE his stories!! Stories about working on his brother's ranch in Colorado, working on building war planes in California during WWII, and much more! MIL is happy to watch the kids if I run to the store or something (FIL is here too but I don't consider him competent), and she doesn't push or fuss at us. FIL always tells us how thankful he is that they live here. : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 My mil used to be, well to put it nicely, extremely difficult. Age has mellowed her considerably, and consequently we have a very good relationship now. Wish it could have happened sooner in my marriage. My fil (passed away last year at 94) was a saint. I simply can't say enough good things about that man. He had all my respect and admiration, not least of all for putting up with his wife with charity and grace. I miss him so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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