Halloween Controversy: What say the Hive?

[AlmiraGulch]

Let her go. Halloween is for anyone who wants it to be for them. Grown ups dress up and go to parties.... Add in the Aspergers means she's likely more interested in what 11-12 year olds are doing, not 16 year olds (coming from a mom who has a child with Aspergers).

 

She is. This is true.

[Abigail4476]

I'm with your daughter. I'd let her go. I also hate the phrase "begging for candy." It has nothing to do with "begging." It's a fun tradition and the people who decorate their houses, leave their porch lights on and hand out candy do it because they want to and enjoy doing it, not because they are being "begged."

 

Let your daughter have fun. She'll outgrow it on her own before you know it!

 

:iagree:

 

I give candy to anyone who bothers to dress up. I don't care if they're 5 or 95. It's just for fun. My goodness. People take things so seriously--even things intended to be light hearted. :glare:

[Spy Car]

As long as they are dressing up, 16 is cool with me.

 

Bill

[AimeeM]

Maybe it isn't popular, but I have no problem with teens politely trick or treating. Heck, I don't really care if the parents dress up and trick or treat.

 

Who made up the "just for children" rule? I didn't get the memo.

[edelweiss]

I think you should let her do it. I really don't see what the big deal is. As long as someone is wearing a costume and is respectful, I am happy to give them candy.

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

My 12 yr. old knows this is her last year to T o T and it is questionable to me whether or not I should even have allowed her to.

 

It is a tough age though so I caved in.

Tougher for us is that we don't usually go ToT

But we have changed a little and only allow non scary costumes

We also are limiting to Trunk or Treating at 2 churches and 3 houses close by ( grandma included)

Then we plan to attend a Fundraiser : Chili supper at our church for the 12 and up Youth Group.

 

Really if my 12 year old demands to go to youth group and do other Teen things then She will not be T o T any more.

 

I think it depends on the maturity, but most grown ups would be a little stunned to see a 16 year old at their door.

Edited October 31, 2012 by TGHEALTHYMOM

[mama2cntrykids]

I haven't read any responses, but no way. Sixteen is too old to TorT. The last time I went as a kid, I was in 8th grade and I feel like that was borderline as far as age.

[MIch elle]

She is accompanying the youngers, but then so am I. And my husband. And my step-daughter's mother.

 

Then who is at your house giving out the candy?

[AlmiraGulch]

Then who is at your house giving out the candy?

 

No one this year. First time ever. But in the last two years we've had two small groups of kids total. In two years. And since we all like to go out with the kids, we decided no one should be stuck at home doing nothing this year while everyone else goes out and has fun.

 

My subdivision is great for Halloween, just not my street for some reason. I think it's because it's a small street, and kind of off the beaten path.

[bolt.]

I wonder if this is a geographic difference. No one I know would be "stunned" to see a few teenage trick-or-treaters at the door this evening. Some teenage groups and some big-sibling-with-little-ones groups are completely normal here (urban western canada).

[QueenCat]

I wonder if this is a geographic difference. No one I know would be "stunned" to see a few teenage trick-or-treaters at the door this evening. Some teenage groups and some big-sibling-with-little-ones groups are completely normal here (urban western canada).

 

Normal here too, in a medium sized city in Tn. Was normal in the suburbs of Atlanta too.

[Just Jane]

I'm happy to give candy to anyone who comes to my door dressed up. Isn't that what ToT is all about?

Maybe it isn't popular, but I have no problem with teens politely trick or treating. Heck, I don't really care if the parents dress up and trick or treat.

 

Who made up the "just for children" rule? I didn't get the memo.

:iagree: with both of these.

[blakereese]

I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other on this topic earlier today.

 

But I was just treated to a fabulous performance by some teen boys tonight during ToT. They were dressed as Christmas carolers, full on furry hats, beards, tartan plaid, and all. :) They walked up and with British accents said, "Good tidings" and "Season's Greetings". And then they opened up their book and sang a Christmas carol :lol: They started out totally off tune not together (on purpose) and then finished together in perfect harmony. It was actually beautiful. Anyway, I appreciated the humor in it (yeh, I know I have a weird sense of humor). They were obviously performers at the high school, they were spot on with their singing and acting. As they were walking away they were sending holiday wishes to the other ToTers. :lol: I love a little creativity!

 

 

BTW, it isn't even 7pm here yet and we have had 152 ToTers (approx) :001_huh:

[kalanamak]

Let her go. I don't mind the teens I get at all. In fact, I'd only have about 8 per year if the teens didn't come.

[NittanyJen]

I'd rather the teens be out trick or treating with their families than out partying somewhere. I'd let her go.

[Julie Smith]

We saw two teens dressed up Red Green anad his sidekick complete with a cardboard canoe they were both sitting.

 

(For those who aren't Canadian the TV show Red Green is: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=red+green+show&oq=Red+Gree&gs_l=youtube.1.0.0l10.789.2389.0.4149.8.7.0.1.1.0.178.690.5j2.7.0...0.0...1ac.1.TJY2QYQExiA)

[Parrothead]

16 is fine as long as she has a costume on.

[Ipsey]

I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other on this topic earlier today.

 

But I was just treated to a fabulous performance by some teen boys tonight during ToT. They were dressed as Christmas carolers, full on furry hats, beards, tartan plaid, and all. :) They walked up and with British accents said, "Good tidings" and "Season's Greetings". And then they opened up their book and sang a Christmas carol :lol: They started out totally off tune not together (on purpose) and then finished together in perfect harmony. It was actually beautiful. Anyway, I appreciated the humor in it (yeh, I know I have a weird sense of humor). They were obviously performers at the high school, they were spot on with their singing and acting. As they were walking away they were sending holiday wishes to the other ToTers. :lol: I love a little creativity!

 

 

BTW, it isn't even 7pm here yet and we have had 152 ToTers (approx) :001_huh:

 

My kids have been out for nearly 45 minutes with their Daddy. I've seen some kids around, but none have come to our house! We have the porch light on--and a jack o' lantern--I'm going to go sit on the porch and hope some kids see me looking sad and neglected and come ask me for candy!

[Barb_]

Polite, happy kids of any age are welcome.

[Julie Smith]

My kids have been out for nearly 45 minutes with their Daddy. I've seen some kids around, but none have come to our house! We have the porch light on--and a jack o' lantern--I'm going to go sit on the porch and hope some kids see me looking sad and neglected and come ask me for candy!

 

I left a bowl on the patio. We were gone for 90 minutes. When we got home we asked the neighbor. She had ONE group which included just one kid and a parent and baby.

 

I'm glad we just left the porch light on and a bowl of candy on the porch. No point sitting around for one customer.

[NittanyJen]

I am wondering about the state of some of the less well off families in the section-8 housing across the street from us. We never had this before, but this year a lot of moms are taking candy (without little ones in tow). I give it to them-- we have plenty available. I am really thinking that this may be a meal for them for the next few days, and I am not going to begrudge it to them-- just smile and wish I could do more for them-- maybe I should have water bottles or our leftover hurricane supplies set out by the door as well? I wonder if the food would be taken?

 

I have just never seen the adults out in force like this before, and am trying to figure out what to make of it-- hunger is the only thing I can come up with.

[Jennifer in MI]

I have to share. My 16 and 14 yos went out tonight with their rowing team. It was 40 degrees and these boys went out in their unisuits for their team. One man on the block thought it was so awesome, he invited them in and served them ribs!!!! My boys are SOOOOOOO happy!!!!

[FeFe]

I don't mind the teens at all as long as they're nice and have a costume. I like seeing everyone. And it's always nice to meet some of the kids (teens) that my kids know from school or the neighborhood that I haven't met.

[Guest]

Not a fan of teen ToTers, here. I make 13 my kids' last year. They are welcome to dress up and walk with the younger kids and cousins, but no candy-begging when you're as tall as I am.

 

I am also open to my teens hosting a party, but so far, they haven't.

[pfamilygal]

Um, I trick or treated well into college. I was short and poor. :)

[Jennifer in MI]

Not a fan of teen ToTers, here. I make 13 my kids' last year. They are welcome to dress up and walk with the younger kids and cousins, but no candy-begging when you're as tall as I am.

 

I am also open to my teens hosting a party, but so far, they haven't.

 

Lol! My boys outgrow me at 10!!!

[Guest]

Lol! My boys outgrow me at 10!!!

 

Granted, you'll have that with some. I'm not short, though; so far nobody has passed me until they have other apparent adult-ish features.

[Joker]

Lol! My boys outgrow me at 10!!!

 

Yeah, I have girls and the oldest outgrew me at 11 and my 10 yr old is about to pass me. They still get to ToT! They may look older but they're still kids.

 

I don't care how long they want to ToT as long as they dress up.

[AlmiraGulch]

Well.....

 

She went. And had fun. And it was fine. Why I got all worked up is beyond me. I have to stop that.

[Audrey]

What do I think?

 

To put it bluntly... get the knot out of your knickers.

 

No one is too old to dress up and go trick-or-treating for candy.

Edited November 1, 2012 by Audrey

[Kirch]

I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other on this topic earlier today.

 

But I was just treated to a fabulous performance by some teen boys tonight during ToT. They were dressed as Christmas carolers, full on furry hats, beards, tartan plaid, and all. :) They walked up and with British accents said, "Good tidings" and "Season's Greetings". And then they opened up their book and sang a Christmas carol :lol: They started out totally off tune not together (on purpose) and then finished together in perfect harmony. It was actually beautiful. Anyway, I appreciated the humor in it (yeh, I know I have a weird sense of humor). They were obviously performers at the high school, they were spot on with their singing and acting. As they were walking away they were sending holiday wishes to the other ToTers. :lol: I love a little creativity!

 

 

BTW, it isn't even 7pm here yet and we have had 152 ToTers (approx) :001_huh:

 

I love this!! How creative & fun!! :D

[Mimm]

Well.....

 

She went. And had fun. And it was fine. Why I got all worked up is beyond me. I have to stop that.

 

I didn't read the whole thread but I'm glad you let her go. I see teens trick or treating in my area all the time and no one bats an eye. It's all in good fun. So long as they are dressed up and polite. In the town my little sister lives in, there's no good clean Halloween fun to be involved in for teens. I'd rather see her trick or treat than go to parties with alcohol and drugs or throw toilet paper all over someone's house.

[Slipper]

We always trick or treat in my Dad's neighborhood. We live in a rural area (and so does he). There is one main road that is blocked off for trick or treating (police literally block it off). The majority of people will have a grill going and strangers are welcome to come ask for a hotdog or hamburger. Those who live on that road know to expect lots of kids. People living elsewhere will trick or treat with the adults joining friends on their front porches (so one house may have four different adults handing out candy).

 

At 8:00, trick or treating is finished and the "big kids" come out and toilet paper houses.

 

By 10:00, the big kids go back home, roads are unblocked and city workers have the mess cleaned up the next morning.

 

The general rule is that if you are dressed in a costume to trick or treat, you are too young to participate in rolling houses. Most older kids are happy to escort little kids around (and get an occasional piece of candy) in their regular clothes in order to roll houses later.

 

I love going there. :)

[GoVanGogh]

Well, I would love to have a horde of teenagers at my door right now!

 

We normally have ~125 trick-or-treaters. This year, less than 20. :001_huh: We have so much candy left over! I would love to just dump a bowl of candy into some kid's bag right now, irregardless of age.

 

 

I love the Christmas carolers. What a lovely idea!

[jhschool]

"I'd let her go. I went at 16 with a group of friends. We were all dressed up and we sang a ToT song we made up with guitar accompaniment. It was the last year I went myself and I loved the experience. She has her whole life to be a grown up. (I'm feeling blue and nostalgic today. Please take that into consideration.)"

 

I agree with this. I think it's perfectly fine to go trick or treating

at 16. Teens are not taking away candy from little ones; people around

here don't tend to run out of candy. (I guess I don't know about other

places).

I think it's great that she wants to go trick or treating and dress up.

I know some 16 year old girls that want to do a lot worse things (and

do them, too). A 16 year old is very much a child in many respects, including

wanting to dress up and have innocent fun.

I think your daughter is great.

[tex-mex]

I'd rather give candy to a dressed up teenager than to a dressed up infant in a stroller and I know the parents are going to eat it.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[airforcefamily]

As long as a teen puts in the effort of dressing up, getting a pillowcase, and saying trick or treat I have no problem with it. I do have an issue with teens walking up to a house without a costume and sticking out their hand for candy without saying anything.

[OnTheBrink]

My dd16 wants to trick or treat tonight. I say no way. 16 is too old to go knocking on doors begging for candy. I told her if she wants to put on some homemade costume and walk around with us while her little sisters trick or treat, that's fine. But she's not carrying a pillowcase and begging for Twix bars.

 

She says she should be able to if she wants. She says she'll be wearing a costume, no one knows how old she is, and as long as she's comfortable with it then I should be, too.

 

What do you think?

 

My 14 year old went with her 17 year old friend. I never knew there was an age restriction on T or T-ing. I think if a kid has a costume, let them go out and T or T. It takes nothing from anyone else.

[BigMamaBird]

I have no problem with teens as long as they are creative with actual costumes, are polite and allow children to go first.

 

We had a group of five teen girls tonight and they were very sweet.

[J-rap]

In our town, kids go trick-or-treating through high school. It's good clean fun, and I think the younger kids enjoy seeing the older kids dressed up in costumes. It's one of the few activities here that all ages of children seem to enjoy. I don't have a problem with it.

[PeacefulChaos]

I wonder if this is a geographic difference. No one I know would be "stunned" to see a few teenage trick-or-treaters at the door this evening. Some teenage groups and some big-sibling-with-little-ones groups are completely normal here (urban western canada).

 

I think this is the main thing we're seeing here in this thread. For many of us, we have NEVER seen a teen trick or treating in any good way. :tongue_smilie:

For example, tonight I handed out a heck of a lot of candy to teenagers who wore a mask with their regular clothes - and I put the candy in their backpack. Some of them only had a little face paint, not even a mask.

In the end, I didn't really care - I gave them the candy anyway, because it's just the way it is. I'd rather just give everyone candy than nitpick over what others do. :D (and we handed out a lot! 2000 trick or treaters at the trunk or treat tonight!)

I've never come across any of these creative, polite teenage trick or treaters that seem to be so common elsewhere, and I'm ok with that.

To each their own. I hope everyone had a great night! :)

[happi duck]

No age limit around here!

[phathui5]

I say if you dress up, you get candy.

[kitten18]

Well.....

 

She went. And had fun. And it was fine. Why I got all worked up is beyond me. I have to stop that.

Yea!!! :party::party::party:

[Nestof3]

I would be delighted to give her candy. I never understood getting worked up over a couple bags of candy.

[Nestof3]

 

eta: I don't get giving kids with a store-bought costume less candy. Some parents don't sew well (like me), don't have time to sew (like many full-time workers), or have kids who are too young to make their own costumes. Do you give a 4 year old less candy because he has a store-bought costume? Why punish a child because his/her parents can't make a costume?

 

Thank you! I am not the best seamstress, but I like to give it all I can. This month has been one thing after the other, and I have truly never felt so drained and so failing. FIL dying. Everything breaking -- dryer, multifunction printer, etc.

 

Then, my back issue flared up the worst it has been in 15 years, so I spent days practically bed-ridden. It's been a week since it started. Then, we had hurricane stuff to deal with. I managed to go to the party store with my boys to help them. At the last minute, my son was going back and forth between being a Periodic Table (which he had already made) or Dionysus (which he was concerned about because of the cool temperatures). He chose the latter. I was rushing at the last minute helping him. I had already made a roast chicken with mashed potatoes and a side. My back was killing me. I still had a pile of school work to check, and all I kept thinking was that this was our worst Halloween yet. Helping them is something I typically look forward to. We never even had time to make the cookies I planned or carve pumpkins. My period started right before we walked out the door.

 

After two hours of walking with them (in pain from my back), I arrived home with work to check. At 10:30 pm, I realized I had business quarterly tax reports and payments to make before midnight.

[swellmomma]

20 pages and halloween over but wanted to add my 2 cents of course. I went trick or treating at 16. I had not gone for years at that point but my friends and I were headed to a party so we T or T all the way there. I figure if teens are in full costume and respectful they can T or T. That said for my own teens, they went out tonight at 13 and 14, but my rule is if they are out for that they are out with the family. They are great watching the littles for me. Now I get to be that car mom, and they all go ahead, each looking out for 1 sibling. Now to read the other 20 pages to see what others thought on this topic.

 

ETA my teens are in full costume. No costume means no T or Ting. They were both dressed as soldiers today. They wore their cadet combats, and one of the officers from cadets loaned each of them an actual army helmet. DD13 also did her face up in camo face paint, ds did not. They ran booths at the carnival at the church for the first half of the night, and then got to T or T for 1 hour afterwards with the family.

Edited November 1, 2012 by swellmomma

[fraidycat]

teenagers aren't kids.

 

I emphatically DISagree.

 

It never ceases to amaze me that online forums end up with Halloween drama. :confused:

 

:lol: It never ceases to amaze me that there are a huuuuuge number of things that people on online forums have strong opinions about that it would have never crossed my mind to have an opinion about one way or another.

[Candid]

I didn't really have an opinion one way or the other on this topic earlier today.

 

But I was just treated to a fabulous performance by some teen boys tonight during ToT. They were dressed as Christmas carolers, full on furry hats, beards, tartan plaid, and all. :) They walked up and with British accents said, "Good tidings" and "Season's Greetings". And then they opened up their book and sang a Christmas carol :lol: They started out totally off tune not together (on purpose) and then finished together in perfect harmony. It was actually beautiful. Anyway, I appreciated the humor in it (yeh, I know I have a weird sense of humor). They were obviously performers at the high school, they were spot on with their singing and acting. As they were walking away they were sending holiday wishes to the other ToTers. :lol: I love a little creativity!

 

 

BTW, it isn't even 7pm here yet and we have had 152 ToTers (approx) :001_huh:

 

What a great idea! Totally off the wall and yet fun.

[Denisemomof4]

I love to see teens all dressed up and having innocent fun. I don't get TOTers here but would welcome ANY kind teen in costume and would happily greet with candy.