cindergretta Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I was planning on keeping this totally to myself except for one board member. But she assured me that it was probably better to post and receive the support I really need than to stress out alone. Dh and I decided to try for one last wee one last year. We conceived right away and then m/c'd at 6 weeks. Undaunted, we tried again right away as everyone assured us that I would be most fertile right after a loss. So we did and conceived again, right away. We then m/c'd at 6 weeks again. Then we didn't conceive for one cycle and conceived again the next cycle. Another 6 week loss. At this point, we decided to TTA until we could get in to see my peri. (I have high risk pregnancies due to repeated pre-e and HELLP Syndrome.) Somehow, we ended up pg without meaning to be! :001_huh: Anyway, right from the start, I was so sick. My hCG numbers were through the roof. At 6 weeks we had an u/s and saw the fetal pole and sac. At 8 weeks we had another u/s and saw the heartbeat. At a 12 week u/s, we learned the baby had died. I was beyond devastated. (It was in June and I posted here and you guys were so supportive. Thank you!!!! :grouphug: ) Anyway, we saw the peri at the end of August after two normal cycles. He told us we could try again. Today I got two bfps - one on a $1 store test (FMU) and one on a FRER (late afternoon.) I am not excited. How long will I be pg this time? A couple of more weeks? How about a couple of more months, maybe? ::sigh:: I want a baby so I can't quit or give up yet. But I will have to soon for my sanity and my age. (I will be 40 in February.) We aren't telling *anyone* IRL, not even our older dc. I'm not posting anything about it FB or my other "mommy board." I just feel too raw and vulnerable and exposed. (I know anyone can find this post but I'm not too worried about it. I don't necessarily care if anyone finds out. I just don't want to announce anything or tell anyone. Does that make sense?) Ok, well, there it is. At least for the moment, I am pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCoffeeChick Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Aw, honey. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers to you Cin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: I'm so sorry for your losses. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Yeah, you want to be happy but it's too scary. Sending sticky thoughts...:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: hoping for a healthy pregnancy resulting in a healthy baby!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I was scared for the full 9 months with Liam. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Wishing you a "sticky baby" :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WIS0320 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifera33 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Praying for you and your little one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 ,:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I will light a candle for your losses, and for your hope. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amydavis Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: and best wishes for a healthy baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Lord have mercy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I'm sorry, I completely understand. :grouphug: It's so hard...and it stinks. Happy thoughts for a healthy and successful outcome this time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: The effect loss has on us is dreadful. Hoping for a sticky baby and a post from OP down the road that she is able to be excited! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I can only imagine what you're going through right now, but for the moment I hope you can enjoy the tiny life inside you. Hoping baby is happy and healthy, and mama too ! Let hope carry you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I will pray for you and the baby, and I hope you will lie down and rest as much as is humanly possible for the next several weeks. I know you don't want to get your hopes up, and I also know what it's like to not know if you're up for another potential heartbreak, but I'll pray that this time is the right time, and you'll have a healthy baby in another 8 months or so! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers for a happy outcome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I so get what you are going through and I've "only" had two losses in a row- about to find out about 7 hours from now if this one is viable. If it is, it'll be born right around my 40th birthday. If it's not, I so understand that feeling of running out of time and not wanting to quit trying but not wanting to face more heartbreak and fear. It's so hard. I just hope in the end it was all worth it, for both of us! That this is the time, and it all works out. Thinking of you, hoping for you, and happy for you. Right now, you are pregnant and even though for people like us that is terrifying it is also wonderful. Congrats again!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I so get what you are going through and I've "only" had two losses in a row- about to find out about 7 hours from now if this one is viable. If it is, it'll be born right around my 40th birthday. If it's not, I so understand that feeling of running out of time and not wanting to quit trying but not wanting to face more heartbreak and fear. It's so hard. I just hope in the end it was all worth it, for both of us! That this is the time, and it all works out. Thinking of you, hoping for you, and happy for you. Right now, you are pregnant and even though for people like us that is terrifying it is also wonderful. Congrats again!! :) :grouphug::grouphug: Hugs, I only had 2 in a row (one at 13.5 weeks that was really hard) I was scared the whole way through with my dd. Are you taking progesterone? They had me do that after the 2 misses. I pray that both of you blessings stay snug and safe for the entire pregnancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Hugs, I only had 2 in a row (one at 13.5 weeks that was really hard) I was scared the whole way through with my dd. Are you taking progesterone? They had me do that after the 2 misses. I pray that both of you blessings stay snug and safe for the entire pregnancy. I'm taking an oral progesterone supplement. I requested my dr supplement me and she agreed to do so even though she didn't really think my levels were quite low enough to need it. It makes me feel better, though- more proactive or something. Because, really, early pregnancy is such a helpless time, and even more so when you've suffered previous losses! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I'm taking an oral progesterone supplement. I requested my dr supplement me and she agreed to do so even though she didn't really think my levels were quite low enough to need it. It makes me feel better, though- more proactive or something. Because, really, early pregnancy is such a helpless time, and even more so when you've suffered previous losses! I don't know if it just kept me calmer, or something else, but it worked with me. It is a way to feel pro active. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Congratulations and :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Praying.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelenNotOfTroy Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkygirl Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Lots of prayers for this little baby and your family. I also think you should talk to a reproductive endocrinologist your losses are all early pregnancy before 12 weeks and before viability at 24 weeks. Perinatologists are responsible for fetal interventions usually around 20 weeks and greater. They manage high risk sustained pregnancies your body is not sustaining pregnancy past the third month. There are numerous reasons for this to happen besides the usual thought that the fetus wasn't developing right. A RE would be able to test and suggest options for maintaining the pregnancies. Possible causes are immune response, not enough progesterone, blood clotting issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: So sorry for your losses. I haven't been through this myself but I know three women who are in a similar situation. It is so hard to be hoping but trying not to get your hopes up too much. Edited September 12, 2012 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Like somebody else asked are you taking progesterone? I took an OTC one that was natural on my last pregnancy, and will on future pregnancies as well. Maybe it was a placebo effect but it made me feel less scared I would love another little one as my track record and 50/50. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Hang in there. Sticky baby dust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: That's so hard! Prayers, and hoping with you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SewingMom2many Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am going through the same thing as you are right now - a cautious pregnancy. I am 43, have 6 kids but have lost 5 pregnancies over the past 3 years. I am 6w 4d pregnant and on progesterone. I had an ultrasound yesterday where they only saw a sac with the possibility of something in it and a yolk sac. They didn't see a fetal pole or heartbeat :( they said it's early and to keep hope. I go back next week for another u/s. I am terrified that this won't work out. I share your feelings on not being excited. I'm so scared to get excited and get hurt again. I have kept myself very distanced from this pregnancy. Like you, I want another baby so I can't give up but the emotional roller coaster of getting pregnant and then loosing it time after time can get to be too much. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, I just wanted to let you know I'm in the same situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gisel_le Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Prayers for you. I understand. Not as many losses, but at 8 weeks pg, I'm not excited. I will feel better if I make it past week 10, but unil that 20 ultra sound, I'm no getting attached. Only close friends and church friends who are praying know, not our children who really want another baby and were vety sad last time. I will also be 40 in 5 months. If this doesn't work out I'm done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2myboys Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvmy3kids Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 First Congrats and :grouphug:! I hope this pregnancy goes all the way for you. I have a friend who would would miscarry and it turned out that it was something with her blood (clotting?). She had to take baby aspirin and her pregnancies from then on were all viable. Again, :grouphug:! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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