Just Another Jen Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 My 18 year old will be sentenced to prison tomorrow morning. The judge will be recommending court ordered bootcamp, but the wait is long (about 100 days) and he will wait for his opening in regular jail. He made a stupid mistake and is paying the price. His siblings are devasted as he is a really excellent big brother. My husband and I are very anxious about his safety. He is nervous but ready to go in so that when he completes his sentence this will be behind him. This is the best possible outcome for his case, he went to the police and confessed. We had hoped that because he had no record- the court would go easier on him- but our attorney explained that he actually told them so much detail there was nothing for him to bargain with. Anyway, I doubt I will sleep tonight and I hope that I can be strong for him when they lead him away... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomemom Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Prayers! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom23Boys Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Praying!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Wow, I cannot imagine what you must be going through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: So sorry. Prayers for the best outcome for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I am so sorry. Prayers are with you and him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Praying for your son, your family and :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Is it 'jail' or an actual prison? Either way, I am so sorry for this nightmare. I'll be thinking of you dear child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: It's an education that you never really want to get, and a club you never want to be in. Hang in there. Make sure he has $ in his commissary account, and tell him to keep to himself. Check the rules and see how many books he's allowed, make sure he has them, and see what else he's allowed. They sometimes let you get them sneakers that are white, underwear that are very specific, socks, and such. You should go see him as often as you can, but do NOT let your kids go. Make sure they write lots of letters with much love in them. If he's under 18, he should be in the younger side. See him as much as you can in the beginning. That is the roughest part. If he's going to transition well, he needs to know that you are THERE for him, that you're praying, and that you'll be there the next day. Edited July 30, 2012 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Praying for your entire family. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Praying for you and your family!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: Prayers for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdkidsmom Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Merciful heavens. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: I am so sorry. That would be so very painful. I just can't imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I am so sorry.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 My 18 year old will be sentenced to prison tomorrow morning. The judge will be recommending court ordered bootcamp, but the wait is long (about 100 days) and he will wait for his opening in regular jail. He made a stupid mistake and is paying the price. His siblings are devasted as he is a really excellent big brother. My husband and I are very anxious about his safety. He is nervous but ready to go in so that when he completes his sentence this will be behind him. This is the best possible outcome for his case, he went to the police and confessed. We had hoped that because he had no record- the court would go easier on him- but our attorney explained that he actually told them so much detail there was nothing for him to bargain with. Anyway, I doubt I will sleep tonight and I hope that I can be strong for him when they lead him away... I'm so sorry. Praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Praying for peace for your family. What an honorable kid that he confessed. I know this must be devastating for you, but I'm sure there will be some kind of blessing behind this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: I will pray for you and your family. Peace to you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 Is it 'jail' or an actual prison? Either way, I am so sorry for this nightmare. I'll be thinking of you dear child. It is prison. He'll go to county jail until a bus comes to take him to southern Illinois. He will go through a receiving type orientation where they will decide if he is physically and mentally capable for bootcamp. If he is approved he'll have about a 100 day wait to start a 120 day bootcamp. If it goes this route it'll be roughly 8 months. Otherwise his sentence (I'll find out in the morning) will be about 4 years. I will update after court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: It's an education that you never really want to get, and a club you never want to be in. Hang in there. Make sure he has $ in his commissary account, and tell him to keep to himself. Check the rules and see how many books he's allowed, make sure he has them, and see what else he's allowed. They sometimes let you get them sneakers that are white, underwear that are very specific, socks, and such. You should go see him as often as you can, but do NOT let your kids go. Make sure they write lots of letters with much love in them. If he's under 18, he should be in the younger side. See him as much as you can in the beginning. That is the roughest part. If he's going to transition well, he needs to know that you are THERE for him, that you're praying, and that you'll be there the next day. Thanks - I am sorry that you know these things. This is not something I ever so myself researching... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: praying for him, and for you. justamouse had good suggestions.:grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 prayers for ya'll :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 So sorry :( That's scary :( Sounds like a good kid... Prayers for him and safety :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug:prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyB Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: and prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: I wish you all strength in this trial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I am so sorry :( I have known a few to spend a little time because of owning up. It's so hard. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NatashainDFW Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 As someone who has worked in a state prison and the spouse of someone who does please do not send him free-world shoes or clothing even if it is allowed. Free-world items are coveted and others will do anything to take them. Keep his commissary account funded so he can purchase items like tennis shoes and the like from the commissary. Depending on your state laws if he doesn't qualify for boot camp higher education may be an option. Make sure he tells intake that he wants to work whether he is leaving in 100 days or not. Being proactive could get him a position working somewhere better than just in the field. His offense and behavior in the county jail will help determine his custody level. If he keeps his nose clean his custody level will improve over time. He can't be afraid to let authorities know what is going on within the prison walls if it has anything to do with him. He needs to know that if at anytime he is scared or feels threatened that protective custody is okay. Let him know that you will not be upset with the loss of contact visits if he needs to be in protective custody. Too many young men will not speak up for fear of disappointing family if their contact visits are taken away. Just FYI contact visitation is often removed from those in protective custody not because of something they did but to protect them. I know this is very scary information but it is what you need to know. Write him a letter NOW that has all the names, phone numbers, addresses, dates of birth of those who should be on his visitation list. That will make his intake that much easier. You will likely not be able to send him books or things of the like yourself but prisons have approved places you can order from . I know in Texas we allow paper and envelopes from the three major office supply stores. As soon as you have an idea of what you are looking at research the rules and regulations and follow them to a T. You do not want to be the reason he gets in trouble and you also don't want to waste money sending things that will just be sent back at the expense of your son. I will be praying that he goes to boot camp so that he can begin the road back to a normal life quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug:Praying!!:grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I am so sorry. Praying for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug: Prayers for you and your family. Good for him that he confessed. I pray that it all passes quickly.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I'm so sorry you and your dear family is going through these tough times. What a blessing to be able to share here and receive sage advice. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted July 30, 2012 Author Share Posted July 30, 2012 All yours prayers must be working. I slept for about 3 hours last night- so at least I will be so exhausted that I will sleep tonight. I actually feel calm and collected. Two things that occurred to me this morning- 1. This could end up making an excellent gap year essay. ;) 2. This is the last morning I will probably ever have to wake him up. No matter what happens, by the time he gets home he'll be a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Well that sounds scary indeed. I'm sorry. :( :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 All yours prayers must be working. I slept for about 3 hours last night- so at least I will be so exhausted that I will sleep tonight. I actually feel calm and collected. Two things that occurred to me this morning-1. This could end up making an excellent gap year essay. ;) 2. This is the last morning I will probably ever have to wake him up. No matter what happens, by the time he gets home he'll be a man. I'm so happy you were able to get some rest last night. After reading your post, I know you have the positive attitude to deal with this situation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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