Rude or understandable?

[BakersDozen]

Yesterday at the mall a young couple pushing a stroller came toward me. Pinned to the stroller was a white piece of paper with this written on it: "DON'T TOUCH MY KID!!!"

 

I was a bit taken back, I must say. The couple also had a cute yellow street sign type of thing on the carseat straps that asked people to please keep their hands off the baby (who was about 4-5 months, maybe?).

 

I walked over and asked if people really touched their baby and the couple said that yes, people came up all the time and took the baby's hands or touched her face. I was a bit surprised because I don't remember anyone ever walking up and touching any of my babies, not even the twins who get a lot of attention.

 

What bugged me was the pinned sign "yelling" at anyone approaching or passing the stroller. It seemed so...abrasive, perhaps? True, people should keep their hands to themselves yet those people need to be educated, not yelled at, imo. A sign more like, "Please do not touch the baby" might go over better than what they had.

 

Thoughts?

[Whereneverever]

Was it possible the kid was a preemie or had an immune issue?

 

Sometimes people are way too grabby with babies.

[Sneezyone]

NOT RUDE AT ALL!! I was sorely tempted when I stopped carrying mine in a sling (around the 8-10 month mark) to do the same thing. One man even walked up to my son (who was on the other end of the shopping cart) and pulled the binky from his mouth as if to see what would happen. Fortunately, DS just looked at him like the idiot he was and made no move to retrieve the contaminated object.:glare: I was pissed! There were even people who invaded *my* personal space and tried to peel back the sling to see the baby inside. Um, no, get out of my face! It's hard to be offended by a sign that's clearly intended for those who feel the need to touch other people's kids without permission.

Edited June 18, 2012 by Sneezyone

[Dory]

I would say it's a little over the top and overly forceful, but I could understand their frustration if people are always touching their child. I was bordering on putting a sign on my belly with my last pregnancy because I actually had people walk up to me in the supermarket and touch my belly, and I am NOT a people person.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Yesterday at the mall a young couple pushing a stroller came toward me. Pinned to the stroller was a white piece of paper with this written on it: "DON'T TOUCH MY KID!!!"

 

I was a bit taken back, I must say. The couple also had a cute yellow street sign type of thing on the carseat straps that asked people to please keep their hands off the baby (who was about 4-5 months, maybe?).

 

I walked over and asked if people really touched their baby and the couple said that yes, people came up all the time and took the baby's hands or touched her face. I was a bit surprised because I don't remember anyone ever walking up and touching any of my babies, not even the twins who get a lot of attention.

 

What bugged me was the pinned sign "yelling" at anyone approaching or passing the stroller. It seemed so...abrasive, perhaps? True, people should keep their hands to themselves yet those people need to be educated, not yelled at, imo. A sign more like, "Please do not touch the baby" might go over better than what they had.

 

Thoughts?

 

Yes, a more nicely worded sign might have been preferable, but the sign was directed at those people who think it's okay to come up and touch a baby.

 

My kids are in their middle teens now, but there were a few people who would come up randomly--complete strangers--and touch.

 

Their sign wouldn't bother me, and I would feel bad for them that it had turned into such a problem. <shrug>

[BakersDozen]

Was it possible the kid was a preemie or had an immune issue?

 

Sometimes people are way too grabby with babies.

 

I'm sure there could have been an issue although the parents simply said they didn't want people touching her hands as the baby then put her hands back in her mouth. I am completely supportive of parents not wanting others to touch their baby, that's not the issue. What surprised me was the sign in all caps that seemed incredibly overkill.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Obviously the sign was in response to rude behavior. They weren't able to deflect people otherwise so they've resorted to this. I would smile, tell them they have a cutie pie and shrug it off.

[Mommyof4ks]

I find it rude, but I know many are very upset by people touching their kids. Even when my son was severely immune compromised he loved it when people would smile and touch his cheeks, and I could not bring myself to stop them from doing it, because it made him happy. Most of those people were older ladies who probably missed their grandkids. He never got sick, so no harm done (the docs were not concerned). I found it funny that a lady at McDonald's once had a sign like that on her stroller, and then she let her kid play on the playscape, umm...my kids got the only two stomach bugs that they have ever had from those playscapes. :ack2:

[clarkacademy]

I find it rude, but I know many are very upset by people touching their kids. Even when my son was severely immune compromised he loved it when people would smile and touch his cheeks, and I could not bring myself to stop them from doing it, because it made him happy. Most of those people were older ladies who probably missed their grandkids. He never got sick, so no harm done (the docs were not concerned). I found it funny that a lady at McDonald's once had a sign like that on her stroller, and then she let her kid play on the playscape, umm...my kids got the only two stomach bugs that they have ever had from those playscapes. :ack2:

 

 

It never really bothered me either. Always elderly people or another small child. I guess though that there are things that bother me that you guys would say what the heck too though. To each their own I guess.

[Annie]

I think the sign could have been worded more gently, but some people really have no boundaries. I had a random lady kiss my baby when I was washing my hands in an airport bathroom while he was wrapped on my back. Her lips were about 6 inches from my head.

[Guest submarines]

What surprised me was the sign in all caps that seemed incredibly overkill.

 

I'm curious whether it was printed or handwritten?

 

Many people don't understand fonts well, and think that if they need a bigger size, typing in all caps is the same as increasing the font size. As for handwriting--well, not everyone prints neatly. Maybe it was the best of what they could do.

 

I'm not a fan of all caps, but I think it is an overkill to read every all caps sign as yelling.

 

Also, brevity is important in a sign, as one wants to communicate an idea in the most clear way. They don't want everyone to slow down to read a long, politely worded message to please not touch their baby. There's a reason signs usually read "Danger, Keep Out", rather than "Would you terribly mind not to climb on the fence, you might get electricuted. Sorry to bother you."

[BMW]

My mother-in-law, who is a fan of healthy food choices and natural foods, always pinned a paper to dh's back that said, "Don't feed the kid!" when they went camping!!! Too many people offered him treats and goodies and all back then....

[Sneezyone]

It's not just little old people. Middle aged individuals (grandparents in waiting) are no better.

[Leanna76]

I think it is rude. So what if someone pats a baby on holds his/her hand for a moment? One can use hand sanitizer or a wipe on the baby after the person leaves. It is making a big deal out of nothing...and germ obsessed parents like these are part of the reason allergies and autoimmune issues are on the rise! Both of my kids were in church the Sunday after they were born and were touched by many and my oldest has been sick only about 4~5 times in almost 8 years and my youngest has been sick twice in almost 2 years .Of course, nursing them helped, too. But, I have noticed, my germaphobic friends have kids who are sick very often. That's my opinion.

[SKL]

It's quite acceptable in some cultures to touch everyone else's baby. So it isn't that they are rude, but perhaps they need to be educated if the child has an immune issue. If that is the case, it would make more sense to have a sign to that effect, in clear but not RUDE language.

 

Personally I don't see anything wrong with a healthy baby being occasionally touched by someone, whether friend or stranger. It's not dangerous. Obviously if it scares the baby or the baby has weak immunity, that would be a different story.

 

As for the OP's specific question, I guess I'd want to know the parents' reasoning before judging. If they just think people are too disgusting to be in contact with their baby, I think they are nuts. If the baby is truly vulnerable, they just need someone to gently suggest a better way to get that across. Because yes, "DON'T TOUCH MY KID" is offensive.

[momtoamiracle]

seems offensive to me but I guess they were irritable when they made the sign? Maybe their baby got really sick from someone touching it.

 

 

 

I know my brother got pneumonia from someone when he was a newborn. Another friends' newborn got RSV from someone, and then just a couple of weeks ago a new mom and her baby got pneumonia - they were out and about less than a week after the child was born.

 

 

 

with the presence of E-coli, staph, strep and such, yeah, at least wash your hands before you touch my young child...

[Tap]

Honestly, nicely worded signs...sound nice. People, generally disregard nice signs as suggestions, not rules.

 

They wanted to be direct, with no exceptions. They achieved that.

 

I do not understand why all caps, has to be interpreted as yelling. Too many words on a sign, will just get ignored. Commands work much, much better to communicate than 'please.....and thank you'.

 

I don't blame them for having the sign up. Some babies just attract more attention than others do. Some babies tend to reach for people and that encourages people to reach out and touch them back. Other babies, just have those cheeks that scream.....touch me, pinch me, kiss me!

[Samiam]

Not rude at all if done to protect their baby. Whatever it takes.

 

My middle was a preemie, born at 29 weeks, and spent 3 months in the hospital (and we lost his twin brother during that time). I came away from that as a huge germaphobe. I did not want anyone touching him, sickness and death for a preemie were VERY real issues to me.

 

I once was in the grocery store, he was in the infant seat in the cart. An older lady reached out to him and started "Ohh so cute, blah, blah." I reached out and slapped her hand (not hard but enough), and told her not to touch him. She was so outraged, and said "Well, I've never...".....but I did not care at all if that hurt her feelings. Momma Bear was out in full force. I had my reasons. If I don't want you to touch my baby, then I can say it however the heck I want, and who cares if you don't like all caps. :).

 

And, btw, while I was a HUGE germaphobe (I'm a bit better now), my preemie was rarely sick once we got home. That is related to the fact that we controlled his environment. So that blows that theory out of the water. I I personally don't get someone taking their newborn to a enclosed environement like a church service. But who cares what I think, cuz I wouldn't care what you think about my sign in all caps.

Edited June 18, 2012 by Samiam

[Word Nerd]

It could have been worded more nicely, but I think it's understandable that they want to stop people from being grabby. One of my coworkers' babies had a serious infection when he was only a few months old (I don't remember what), and she was super sensitive about anyone touching him after that until he was older.

[Murphy101]

I think....

 

If the child's health is that delicate, then I sure would not take them shopping.

 

And it is rude in many cultures. The concept of 3 feet of personal space is rather American I think?

 

I appreciate it. I like my personal space. So truly, I understand!

 

But life pretty much sucks rotten eggs much of the time when dealing with many fellow humans.

 

So I would kindly suggest accepting every decent bit of affection they can get when they can get it.

 

ETA: Of course they have the right to not want people to tough their baby. And they can be rude or not about it as suits them. I personally just wouldn't. I would have years ago. Not these days. Years ago, I would have and did go out and about days after birth. I don't do that anymore either.

Edited June 18, 2012 by Martha

[RanchGirl]

Parents have a right to not have their kid touched by random strangers whether or not others approve of their reasons (immune compromised, personal phobia, whatever).

 

I don't find the sign rude. I do think it's rude to touch someone else's baby or baby's stroller or baby's pacifier without the parent's permission. It's sad that the sign is necessary, but it is.

[Samiam]

I think....

 

If the child's health is that delicate, then I sure would not take them shopping.

 

 

 

Well, that is unrealistic and smacks of someone who has never been in the position of having themselves or their child in a precarious health situation. Hopefully you never will be. Because it is life altering. But not so life-altering that you are able to completely stop being a human. Even with health issues, one still needs to go shopping, run errands, do what other people do.

 

We should never leave the house then? It's wrong that we would expect to go out in public and not be handled by other humans?? Especially a small human who is contained in their own space,ie stroller. At what other age is it okay for a person to walk up to another stranger and start pinching cheeks, grabbing fingers, etc. You would be okay if they did that to you, your teenager, your 6 year old? Or would you think that is odd, and perhaps even scary? But they can do it to a small baby and that's okay?

[elegantlion]

I think it is rude. So what if someone pats a baby on holds his/her hand for a moment? One can use hand sanitizer or a wipe on the baby after the person leaves. It is making a big deal out of nothing...and germ obsessed parents like these are part of the reason allergies and autoimmune issues are on the rise! Both of my kids were in church the Sunday after they were born and were touched by many and my oldest has been sick only about 4~5 times in almost 8 years and my youngest has been sick twice in almost 2 years .Of course, nursing them helped, too. But, I have noticed, my germaphobic friends have kids who are sick very often. That's my opinion.

 

I don't think the sign is rude at all.

 

*I* cared if someone touched my child without permission. Why? Beside the fact it's rude, I have a permanently compromised immune system. I had a laporatomy along with my c-section when he was born due to complication from a prior surgery. My immune system was shot for weeks after his birth. I'm not a germaphobe, I just catch everything even if ds brings it home. I'd really prefer not to go into my entire medical history with people who are too clueless to consider not everyone IS healthy even if the child is fine.

 

I almost got fired from a job years before ds was born for missing so many days. Many people have no boundaries when it comes to spreading germs. So for some people it's not "nothing". Ds is as healthy as a horse, but after we pulled him from private school *I* got sick a lot less. One bad round of pneumonia could kill me.

 

It's not being germaphobic to ask people to respect personal space. Maybe you just don't know their history.

[annandatje]

Rude or understandable? Understandable. I would presume that certain people were not sufficiently deterred by a gentle request.

[Joanne]

Parents have a right to not have their kid touched by random strangers whether or not others approve of their reasons (immune compromised, personal phobia, whatever).

 

I don't find the sign rude. I do think it's rude to touch someone else's baby or baby's stroller or baby's pacifier without the parent's permission. It's sad that the sign is necessary, but it is.

 

This. I wouldn't have found the sign over the top or rude. People (random, of all ages), touched my kids (I think it was the blonde hair). I'm not a believer in sanitizer (and it was less common then).

 

I'm also not a believer that babies are common property. *I* touched my kids a lot, but lots of random people? Nope.

 

The caps sign might have been what they needed to do - often people that don't have intuitive boundary senses wouldn't have picked up on the parental discomfort and backed off.

 

Could the parents be super new, with the hypersensitivity that can come with new, first time parents? Sure. It's still their right to not have their baby touched.

[Jean in Newcastle]

This. I wouldn't have found the sign over the top or rude. People (random, of all ages), touched my kids (I think it was the blonde hair). I'm not a believer in sanitizer (and it was less common then).

 

I'm also not a believer that babies are common property. *I* touched my kids a lot, but lots of random people? Nope.

 

The caps sign might have been what they needed to do - often people that don't have intuitive boundary senses wouldn't have picked up on the parental discomfort and backed off.

 

Could the parents be super new, with the hypersensitivity that can come with new, first time parents? Sure. It's still their right to not have their baby touched.

 

:iagree:

[Element]

Obviously the sign was in response to rude behavior. They weren't able to deflect people otherwise so they've resorted to this. I would smile, tell them they have a cutie pie and shrug it off.

:iagree:We could not afford the RSV vaccine (Synagis) for our second preemie. I was so paranoid when I had to take her out that first RSV season that I was already on high alert. I could totally see myself making a sign like that in response to some touchy-grabby people.

 

Then again, I wouldn't have taken her to the mall...

[Audrey]

Yes, the signage is rude, but it is equally rude to go about touching or grabbing other people (and babies ARE people) without their consent or a clear invitation to do so.

[Dustybug]

I think it's brilliant! People STILL come up on a regular basis and touch my oldest DD (6) because she has really curly hair. They will come up and finger her curls all.the.time. It is SO nerve wracking and quite frankly, I get tired of worrying about hurting THEIR feelings when they obviously lack the manners to keep their stranger hands away from my kid. My 4 year old gets his hair ruffled and my toddler gets people trying to tickle her legs/belly while she's sitting in a grocery cart.

 

I would never in a million years even dream of touching someone else's child. I just don't understand this impulse at all.

[Dirtroad]

Considering most people could care less about kids these days and find them a nuissance in public places, I am surprised that a sign would be needed. I have often thought it sad that we are such a hostile society and reject people. We have seriously over-killed on the stranger danger speeches and hand sanitizer. Now, we can't even be polite.... whether we allow a person to pat a child on the head or not. I was always complimented by someone who gave a hoot about a small child. And it taught my children to be friendly, compassionate, and polite. (of course within reason... I was always standing right there.... and an approach by a drunken slob or by a grandma means a huge difference in how I would react).

 

Yes, the sign assumes much. It is rather arrogant and rude. A simple please don't touch would be much less hateful.

 

Also, for those who do like kids, they are usually the elderly or other Moms.

 

But I grew up in a small town where people used to be nice to each other .... considerate and patient.... I see less and less today.

Edited June 18, 2012 by Dirtroad

[happymomofboys]

I think something like this would be cute and polite and get the same point across.

 

The parents, of course, have the right to restrict access to their baby using whatever signage they choose. I think people who touch babies without asking are right up there with people who touch pregnant bellies without asking. The touching is much more rude than a sign! It's sad that a sign is even needed.

[Supertechmom]

It's wrong that we would expect to go out in public and not be handled by other humans?? Especially a small human who is contained in their own space,ie stroller. At what other age is it okay for a person to walk up to another stranger and start pinching cheeks, grabbing fingers, etc. You would be okay if they did that to you, your teenager, your 6 year old? Or would you think that is odd, and perhaps even scary? But they can do it to a small baby and that's okay?

 

:iagree:

 

And we spend all this time letting them know it is not okay for people to touch you or hug you without permission but they stand there and watch their brand new baby sibling get pawed over by every jack a doodle that comes by. Because it is okay to paw all over a baby.:confused: I carried mine in a sling and still had to tell people to step back. No you can't touch my baby's head or cheek resting on my bOOks. Why?? Cause I don't like getting all second base with whatever random stranger strolled up to stick their hand in the sling to rub a little baby cheek. You might just get more than baby cheek! :lol: Always irritated me when I took the babies out.

[Murphy101]

Well, that is unrealistic and smacks of someone who has never been in the position of having themselves or their child in a precarious health situation

We should never leave the house then?

 

Oh bull hockey. Yes, I have been. I've had very sick little ones and nursed my mother through her end days with cancer and more.

 

It's wrong that we would expect to go out in public and not be handled by other humans??

 

Yes. Humans are social creatures. We touch. I truly do get it. I really do not care for hugs and such from those not my dh and dc.

 

But humans touch. They always have. A pat on the shoulder. A hug. A kiss on the cheek. These and more are normative in most cultures and instinctive to some degree in all people.

 

At what other age is it okay for a person to walk up to another stranger and start pinching cheeks, grabbing fingers, etc. You would be okay if they did that to you, your teenager, your 6 year old? Or would you think that is odd, and perhaps even scary? But they can do it to a small baby and that's okay?

 

Any age. :confused: I've had complete strangers give me hugs in the middle of the grocery store. I've had women and men my age or older grab my hand in a idk what you call it? A hand hug? That squeeze of affection or assurance, yk? I have put my arm a stranger before. I would again.

 

Then again, I wouldn't have taken her to the mall...

 

Yes. This. Of course if you are out of diapers and milk and can't wait for someone else to bring it home, then delicate baby health or not - you gotta do what you gotta do.

 

But if my kid was so delicate I was fearful of anyone touching them? Baring true need, I would and have stayed home. Sucks. But such is life.:grouphug:

 

And note, I did say I don't have a problem with them saying they don't want people touching their baby. Their baby. Their choice. I complately agree. But I don't think it is any less rude than treating some random nice person like a leper.:confused:

[Murphy101]

Considering most people could care less about kids these days and find them a nuissance in public places, I am surprised that a sign would be needed. I have often thought it sad that we are such a hostile society and reject people. We have seriously over-killed on the stranger danger speeches and hand sanitizer. Now, we can't even be polite.... whether we allow a person to pat a child on the head or not. I was always complimented by someone who gave a hoot about a small child. And it taught my children to be friendly, compassionate, and polite. (of course within reason... I was always standing right there.... and an approach by a drunken slob or by a grandma means a huge difference in how I would react).

 

Yes, the sign assumes much. It is rather arrogant and rude. A simple please don't touch would be much less hateful.

 

Also, for those who do like kids, they are usually the elderly or other Moms.

 

But I grew up in a small town where people used to be nice to each other .... considerate and patient.... I see less and less today.

 

:iagree:

 

When I was much younger, I would have completely agreed with them. But now?

 

I don't. Mostly I'm grateful for the kindness of others and saddened that it is considered rude these days. I regret that I ever did think of it that way.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Years ago when my oldest was about 4 months old I was walking in the park with her in a stroller and my dog on a leash. A lady with a little boy was walking toward me and the boy was obviosly excited about the dog (a big, black and white ball of fluff that was my Border Collie). As they got nearer the lady was saying to the boy, " We have to ask first before we pet other people's dogs." The boy asked, and after telling my dog to sit, and squating down to the boy's level, I said that yes he could pet the dog. I stood back up to find this woman's front half down. In. My. Stroller. holding dd's hands and pecking her on the cheek!

 

When I told dh about it he said that people ask about petting dogs in case they might bite. I told him I was going to make a sign that said, "You can pet the dog, but the baby will bite.". I never did, but OFTEN wished I had.

[cindergretta]

I think the sign is rude. BUT - I think it is directed at *rude* people who more than likely wouldn't even acknowledge a polite sign.

 

Some of the posts here are a little over the top. :confused: All this hostility toward people who don't want their dc touched seems unkind. Bashing parents for wanting people to respect their dc's space/body is completely rude in and of itself. It is ironic that those posters are calling those parents rude. :glare:

 

Do I mind if people in my church touch my baby? No. I know them. Random bozo at the mall who didn't wash his hands after using the toilet? No thanks!

[Caitilin]

 

 

I don't. Mostly I'm grateful for the kindness of others and saddened that it is considered rude these days. I regret that I ever did think of it that way.

 

this is how I see it as well. Humans are naturally communal; touching is a way we demonstrate that. Babies reach us at a fundamental, pre-rational level, and we touch by instinct. An individual baby's being immuno-compromised doesnt make the rest of us big jerks.

[Trilliums]

I wonder if they make exceptions for friends they see at the mall.

 

I would have found the sign a bit odd. I can understand people not wanting strangers to touch their kids. Unfortunately, now that my kids are teenagers, I've noticed I find virtually all little kids so darn cute! I will have to make sure I don't inadvertently touch someone rlse's child. I guess this makes me a "grandmother in waiting" as a pp said.

[BakersDozen]

This struck me:

Yes, the sign assumes much. It is rather arrogant and rude. A simple please don't touch would be much less hateful.

 

As soon as I saw their sign I had an image in my head of them walking through the door of the mall or WalMart and hoards of shoppers rushing toward the stroller, hands outstretched, focusing only on touching their precious baby. So yes, I also thought the sign rather arrogant simply because my guess is that most people either didn't notice the kid or only gave it a passing glance.

 

The vibe I got from the new mom was one of a zealous, strong personality who was a bit excitable. Does that make sense? Someone I wanted to share this with: :chillpill:.

 

 

Well, thank you all for your response. I love reading the different views on things here. :)

Edited June 18, 2012 by LuvnMySvn

[Seshet]

I would not find the sign rude. However, I do find it rude to touch other people, or their kids, without permission. Touching a stranger's baby is right up their with touching a stranger's belly. What is it about babies and pregnancy that makes some people think it is acceptable to invade a total stranger's personal space? I was always having to tell people not to touch my baby or to get out of my baby's face.

 

As for being a germaphobe A) it is not always something the person has control over, and B) it is not always a bad thing. My immune system sucks. I have several medical conditions, at least one of which makes it very easy for me to get sick. I spend a lot of my time sick and in pain. So, I am a bit of a germaphobe, because I don't need anymore illnesses or hospital stays. One of my kids was very premature and susceptible to respiratory illnesses. My germaphobe behaviors, which some may see as being over-protective, prevented that child from getting sick, even when sharing a room with a sibling with croup. That child now has a very strong immune system, because it was not compromised early in life by catching a ton of diseases when most vulnerable.

 

Honestly, I think it's sad that a sign like that was needed. I also find it sad that so many people find it rude to expect others to respect your personal space.

[Sneezyone]

Geeze I'm having flashbacks. My DD was 3 when we had an encounter with some Japanese visitors in Honolulu. They were huddled together, whispering and pointing at my DD. Turned out that they wanted to touch DD's braids and take her picture (as if she were a tourist attraction). I didn't learn that, tho, until they were already closing in and angling for a photo. I stepped in front of DD and asked what they were doing. It was only then that they asked my permission to take the photo and touch her hair (arms outstretched of course). They looked so confused when I said h*ell no but at the time that was all the politesse I could muster. My DD was so frightened. I mean, I had to literally put my child behind me and back away to avoid a confontation. I was shaking by the time we left the mall.

 

This topic always takes me back to that scene in The Color Purple where Sophia's children are praised for their cleanliness and then Sophia is asked to become a maid.:glare:

Edited June 18, 2012 by Sneezyone

[mom24cuties]

I think they could have been a little more gentle with the wording, but i totally understand the message. Strangers were always trying to touch my kids when they were babies, and the first place they go to touch is their hands which all of my kids were/are finger or whole hand suckers. I have asked plenty of people not to touch my little ones, but not so rudely.

[kolamum]

I wondered about the premie thing, but then you think you wouldn't be out in public. When my 11 year old was a bub I had CHILDREN constantly trying to touch & hold him. It drove me INSANE.

 

I got SO tired of telling them no politely that when a 3 year old walked up and demanded I give her the baby to hold I bluntly said, "Absolutely not. Go away." She went crying to her mamma about how the mean lady wouldn't let her hold the baby. Some preteen stalked dh & I in the shop because we refused to let her hold him.

 

By the time he was 2 with another baby with us some lady got right up in his face to coo at the 2 year old {not the baby} and when my 2 year old blew a raspberry & covered her in spit she backed off, & stormed off quite angrily. I was so embaressed at first, but dh pointed out that when you stick your face in some kids face you kinda get what you get.

 

I don't think it's rude. It probably came off as brash to those who've not, or wouldn't consider, touching the baby. BUT, when it comes to my kids I can get pretty ugly pretty quickly.

[AdventureMoms]

Understandable. I had people fondle me when I was wearing DD on my front (thinking they were grabbing the baby's bum and, um, missing). I had one woman TAKE HER OUT OF MY ARMS in walmart because she apparently "just loved babies so much". It is not ok to touch someone else's baby without permission. (Emergencies excepted, of course) If you say it nicely, people are too dense to listen, so you have to be rude about it.

[happypamama]

I think the sentiment is entirely appropriate, and I don't blame those parents at all for not wanting people to touch their baby, especially that young. I keep babies that young against me in a sling, which really does help cut down on people wanting to touch them. Now, my 11mo is very social and will reach out to people who smile at him; I am not so bothered by the occasional grandma who pats his head or touches his hand, at this point. I see how much joy a baby brings an older person, and if my baby isn't bothered, by this age, I'm not too bothered by it. He crawls around on the floor and has a pretty well-established immune system, and I occasionally let him sit in the shopping cart, which is probably much more likely to make him sick, because he touches it and then puts his hands in his mouth, than a person rubbing his arm or head a bit. I often do wipe his hands when we get to the car, if he's been touching things.

 

But as a young infant (pre-crawling, before they can sit in the shopping cart), yeah, I really don't care for people touching my babies, and at any time, I think it's perfectly fine for mom or baby to refuse touching (hard to resist when the baby's reaching out so cheerfully, LOL). If another child admires the baby, I will generally squat down so the child can see the baby, and I'll suggest touching his leg/toes instead of hands/face. But no, not communal property.

 

I fully agree with and support that couple's sentiment, though I think that wording was maybe a little harsh. My friend, who has several older children (thus necessitating that she be out and about a fair amount, after the earliest weeks), plus a baby who was about six weeks early, has a red stop sign attached to her baby's carseat that says something like "Stop! Please wash your hands before touching mine." It is still obvious and hard to miss, but to me, it seems a little gentler.

[Soror]

Well, it isn't something I would have done but I don't see a need to be offended by it.

[Joanne]

I want to add that while the "preemie" or "immuno-challenged" issue might drive a "no touch" suggestion, I don't think it's at all necessary in order to justify the rule.

 

I believe it is perfectly valid to have a "no touch by random strangers" rule just because.

[melissad2]

I had someone lift up the blanket I was using as a nursing cover once :blink::lol: they got an eyeful and was quite embarrassed. I bet they don't ever do that again.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

The sign could have been worded nicely, but I think the frustration is probably understandable. When ds1 was a baby, some old lady actually picked him up out of the grocery cart when I was putting milk into the basket part. I freaked out at her. I don't know why people think it's okay to touch or pick up a stranger's baby.

[Carrie12345]

I'd laugh with the parents about it. I always wished I had the guts to put signs on my babies. And my belly, for that matter.

 

People who wouldn't dream of touching needn't be offended - the sign isn't for them. It's for the rude people who jump right in, leaving "Oh, please don't touch" worthless once their paws have already gotten on the kid.