feeding other kids

[nertsmommy]

Another thread has me thinking of this.

 

Whenever we have been at the park and my kids are eating, if another child comes over and wants some I have always made them go ask their parents first. I have always been afraid that they may have allergies or something. And I don't want to just be handing over food to a child without the parents permission.

 

I wouldn't want someone giving DS anything with red dye in it (he gets nasty from it). I have taught my kids not to take food from anyone unless they ask me first.

 

Last summer several times when we sat down to eat at the park kids would come over and wait for food. I have no problem giving them food. I just want to make sure they're allowed first.

 

So what does everyone else do?

[Jennifer in SC]

Depending on the age of the child, I would ask the parent myself if it's ok.

[Parrothead]

I voted "give them food" but was thinking about kids visiting here instead of a park situation.

 

If a kid is here usually she is her for several hours, if not all day and sometimes into the evening. I feed those girls at regular intervals.

 

If it is some random kid at the park or some other public place I'd make him/her go ask.

[kalanamak]

I said give. I don't hand out junk, and my homemade mac and cheese or apple slices etc should be easy for any child over 8 to identify as on the forbidden list or not.

[spaceman]

For your age kids, I have them ask first also.

 

But at some age, I don't. I suppose my comfort threshold is somewhere in the early elementary age. Above that, I'd assume the child has learned what he/she can or cannot eat. (If it contained something unusual, I'd say so--even to an adult.)

 

It may have more to do with how close and available the parents were. If they were nearby (as is typically the case with the pre-k and kindergarten set), I'd have them ask first. If they were not nearby, as could be the case with older children...I'd assume the parents trust their children with these kinds of scenarios.

[TXMomof4]

The kids who are here all the time I know their parents and have had discussions on food with them. We all feed each other's kids all the time.

 

Random kids? It depends on the age.

[KirstenH]

I'm used to living in an area where it seems like almost everyone is a lawyer or has one on retainer. I don't do ANYTHING without clearing it with the parents first.

[ssavings]

I voted "ask the parents", but in reality, it depends on the situation.

 

Young kids whom I don't know very well and we are playing with at a park, etc., I always make them ask. Kids I know, then I give them food.

[Sneezyone]

The kids here are pretty close so we know who has allergies and who doesn't; we usually feed. I would expect older elementary students, say 7-9yo, to know what is verboten and what is not. It is hard when you have an older kiddo at your door who wants to partake but you know can't because of non life-threatening parental restrictions but once you know that's this is how the other family operates, you can adapt.

[Murmer]

Ask Please! As the mom of a food allergic child it is so important to be asked before my child is fed food that I did not give her. Many things have her allergen hidden (some brands of pretzels while others are safe). Please please please ask even children that are older may not be totally proficient in identifying foods that may have hidden allergens.

[nertsmommy]

I thought I was doing the right thing, but I have had parents look at me strange when I ask first. I'm probably the crazy "ask the parents first" lady. :lol: I think the norm here is just to hand the kids whatever.

 

I ask even with my friends kids. I figure things change, like now since they have braces. Even the older child with braces forgot what he wasn't allowed.

[Rebel Yell]

I voted make the kid ask their parent, although I rarely have extra food packed to pass out to strangers.

 

My kids must ask me before taking anything from people we don't know well... if it was a park situation that would be defined as "we have eaten together before" not just "I saw you here last week." We have food allergies.

[happypamama]

I would ask the parent/have the child ask the parent.

 

The only exception would be a situation in which I was very clearly in charge of the other child(ren) and had already discussed food with the parents, like if I was baby-sitting, or watching the nursery at co-op, or with the neighbor friend who comes over to play with my kids sometimes (but I have already checked with her parents about food allergies).

[jewellsmommy]

Anyone under teenage years I say "sure, but go ask your mom first." We have this at church too. I help prepare dinner on Wed. nights. The cut veggies are usually on the kitchen counter waiting to be put out and someone's child is bound to ask for a tomato or cucumber but sometimes they want a crouton. Our standard response is to go ask. Parents may have their reasons for saying no.

 

I have said no before even when it was a fruit or veggie because sometimes ds likes to play games when it comes to food.

[PeacefulChaos]

I voted both because I tend to do both. Usually I say 'You want some? You can have some if it's ok with your mom (or dad).' But there have been a couple times when I haven't - usually that isn't at the park though, but at home. Like with the neighbors - I've given them popsicles and, just now, cupcakes (DD's birthday party was today). But they are older (7-10) and should know whether or not it would be something they could eat.

[lynn]

Whenever we make a new friend I always ask the parents if there were any food allergies and if snacks were okay. We usually keep snacks to pretzels, goldfish, granola bars.

[lexi]

I always always ask the parent first or I would have the child ask first. I do have an allergic kid and I never let anyone else feed them. It makes me upset if another parent tries to feed my kids without checking with me first. My kids know not to take food from anyone else though.

[mommymilkies]

Ask Please! As the mom of a food allergic child it is so important to be asked before my child is fed food that I did not give her. Many things have her allergen hidden (some brands of pretzels while others are safe). Please please please ask even children that are older may not be totally proficient in identifying foods that may have hidden allergens.

 

:iagree: I also don't give food out without clearing it with a parent. My kids have crazy food allergies, so if I'm out, I don't give out snacks to other kids usually. Mostly because the ones my kids can eat are prohibitively expensive. But the other day I shared popcorn with a little 2 year old that was sitting next to us since her mom said it was ok. I never ever give food without asking a parent!

[Farrar]

I said "other" but with most of the kids we see regularly, unless it's some sort of outright sweets, I'd just feed them. I know their allergy issues (mostly lack thereof, though we do have one close friend who's gf). I know what foods they like and don't like. I know which kids are bottomless pits. And I know what their parents are probably feeding my kids.

 

If it was a kid I didn't know well, I would ask the kid first and then ask the parents too if there was anything that's a common allergy. I'd probably give most any kid a grape or an apple slice or something though.

[Ellie]

I really needed more information--are these friends you're at the park with? whose parents you know and who know you?--but then, I'm trying to imagine my own dc going over to someone else--even people they know--and expecting to be fed, and I just go :blink:

 

So yes, I'm good with "Go ask your parents."

[laundrycrisis]

I am assuming you are referring to random children in public places, not friends you are meeting up with at the park.

 

I don't feed random children in parks. I don't want to encourage them to beg food from strangers. They aren't pigeons !!! I wouldn't want mine to do it either ! IMO it is not acceptable social behavior for children to expect a handout from any adult who appears with food. I have always politely said no thank you when it is offered, and trained our children not to expect food to be offered by people we don't know and aren't at the park "together" with. I also do my best to give my kids their food with a little distance between us and any other children. If another child/children wander over, I say that "he is having a snack and will be back to play in a minute".

 

I will also say, as a mom of a kid who had to strictly avoid all dairy and eggs for four years, DO NOT give food to someone else's kid without asking the parent first. Ever. No. Exceptions. I have given lectures to quite a few moms about this. I know they think they are being nice but there is no way for them to know which kid is allergic to what, or has celiac, or is beginning the Feingold diet, etc. It is not a random adult's place to give food to a kid who is not theirs without the parent's permission.

 

For the moms of kids who have dietary restrictions and are too young to be able to know better than to take offered food, it actually can create a lot of stress to have to worry about strangers offering your kid snacks without permission or warning every time you go to a park. If I'm a helicopter mom, I got this way from having to hover over my kid to make sure he didn't take the stupid goldfish crackers every third stranger park mommy we ever encountered seemed to want to feed him.

 

I have on occasion got to chatting with another mom and discreetly, without her child seeing, offered to share something. But I keep it between her and I until she has approved, because I don't want to put her in the position of having to tell her child no after I have let the cat out of the bag. Whether or not her child ever even knows about the offer should be up to her.

Edited May 6, 2012 by laundrycrisis

[WeeBeaks]

I use age sometimes too to determine. A young child needs to ask first. Sometimes I encounter young teens and tweens at the park without a parent, who then join in play with our homeschool group kids. If they want some food, I share, though often ask if they have allergies.

[SJ.]

I don't feed random children in parks. I don't want to encourage them to beg food from strangers. They aren't pigeons !!! I wouldn't want mine to do it either ! IMO it is not acceptable social behavior for children to expect a handout from any adult who appears with food. I have always politely said no thank you when it is offered, and trained our children not to expect food to be offered by people we don't know and aren't at the park "together" with. I also do my best to give my kids their food with a little distance between us and any other children. If another child/children wander over, I say that "he is having a snack and will be back to play in a minute".

 

I will also say, as a mom of a kid who had to strictly avoid all dairy and eggs for four years, DO NOT give food to someone else's kid without asking the parent first. Ever. No. Exceptions.

 

I agree with this. I would not want my children accepting food from strangers let alone hanging around, staring, appearing to want food. Yikes!

 

I honestly have never had that happen to me. I would offer to food/snacks to the children of friends after asking the parent first.

[Catwoman]

I would ask the parents first. I would never give food to a child I didn't know, but even if it was a kid we knew, I would clear it with the mom first. The child could have allergies, but it could also be 5 minutes before the mom was taking him out to eat or over to Grandma's for dinner, or whatever, and I think it would be rude of me to just hand the kid some food without talking to the mom first.

 

Honestly, if we were having a snack or a picnic and a stranger's child approached us for food, I would find that quite odd, so I don't think it would even occur to me to offer to feed the kid. That sort of thing has never happened to us.

 

Maybe our food just doesn't look that great. :D

[Kathryn]

I am assuming you are referring to random children in public places, not friends you are meeting up with at the park.

 

I don't feed random children in parks. I don't want to encourage them to beg food from strangers. They aren't pigeons !!! I wouldn't want mine to do it either ! IMO it is not acceptable social behavior for children to expect a handout from any adult who appears with food. I have always politely said no thank you when it is offered, and trained our children not to expect food to be offered by people we don't know and aren't at the park "together" with. I also do my best to give my kids their food with a little distance between us and any other children. If another child/children wander over, I say that "he is having a snack and will be back to play in a minute".

 

I will also say, as a mom of a kid who had to strictly avoid all dairy and eggs for four years, DO NOT give food to someone else's kid without asking the parent first. Ever. No. Exceptions. I have given lectures to quite a few moms about this. I know they think they are being nice but there is no way for them to know which kid is allergic to what, or has celiac, or is beginning the Feingold diet, etc. It is not a random adult's place to give food to a kid who is not theirs without the parent's permission.

 

For the moms of kids who have dietary restrictions and are too young to be able to know better than to take offered food, it actually can create a lot of stress to have to worry about strangers offering your kid snacks without permission or warning every time you go to a park. If I'm a helicopter mom, I got this way from having to hover over my kid to make sure he didn't take the stupid goldfish crackers every third stranger park mommy we ever encountered seemed to want to feed him.

 

I have on occasion got to chatting with another mom and discreetly, without her child seeing, offered to share something. But I keep it between her and I until she has approved, because I don't want to put her in the position of having to tell her child no after I have let the cat out of the bag. Whether or not her child ever even knows about the offer should be up to her.

 

:iagree: completely with this whole post.

[Jpoy85]

I would ask and I make sure my children ask first. For me its not allergies or anything to that nature, its just polite. :)

[SKL]

Normally I don't give my kids snacks if there are other kids around. We don't eat snacks at the park, we go there to play. But sometimes we have a picnic meal at the park in the middle of a busy day. At those times we go somewhere away from the other kids until the food is eaten. One time my kids were finishing up with a few cookies or crackers, and a little girl (who could have used some boundaries) came up and acted very interested in the goody. She seemed old and smart enough to know whether she had severe allergies or not, so I asked her if she was allowed to have this kind of food, and she said yes, so I offered her some.

[Georgiana Daniels]

These days, definitely check with parents first. Too many food allergies, etc that didn't used to be the case. Plus, I'd want the same courtesy because I don't like my kidlets having tons of sweets, and you never know what a kid has already eaten that day.

[sandst]

We also have crazy food alergies here and the nuts and peanuts one is a deadly one (Epipen everywhere), some other stuff just makes my kids to hyper, I have taught my kids not accept anything or even eat anything without asking us first.

 

For my son even if we go visit someone or have a co-op meeting (all the moms bring some snacks, foods and drinks and put on a table for everyone to share) I bring his own food and drinks and keep it separate. Too much risk of cross contamination.

 

My daughter has to ask me first...

 

If they have some friends over I always clear with the parents what they are aloowed to eat or not.

 

If we are at the a game or a park and a little child is hovering I usually offer some but tell the child to ask their mom first.

[Melissa in Australia]

Other, I have never been in a situation where other kids come around begging for food. If kids are at my house I feed them, but in a public place I only feed my kids.

[Running the race]

I have a kid with food allergies. All my kids know to ask me first before taking food from someone else.

[Forget-Me-Not]

It would depend on who the kids belonged to and how well I knew them/their parents. My nieces and nephews I just feed. However, I have a friend with a whole list of food allergies and another with religious dietary restrictions (Seventh-day Adventist), so I double check before I offer their kids food.

[desertmum]

I lways ask the parents first. I've found children will say YES to anything their like and sometimes they hope to get something they wouldn't get at home. Case in point: I'm allergic to oranges, yet I would eat them as a child behind my mum's back. Of course I got sick every time until I got a bit older and wiser.

 

Forgot to say I voted Other.

Edited May 6, 2012 by desertmum

[Soror]

Random kids that ask for food or seem to be hinting at wanting it, no I do not feed. If it is friends we are with we might offer some. However, with our food intolerances and preferences I usually don't. I don't bring enough food to feed everybody. I bring enough for our own. I might sometimes have extras of some random thing but I don't in general just bring extra. Generally we have some specific homemade thing and perhaps things like fruits/veggies and nuts. Most kids don't want our food. I get very aggravated with my own kids if they are asking someone else for food. If I fed someone else's kid I'd ask but generally it would be a mom I was already talking to, I wouldn't go ask a random mom. We usually keep to ourselves with our food though. I'm sure that sounds horribly selfish there are plenty of foods most can eat and share back and forth but few for us and when out and about just getting food is often a pain and expensive. If kids are at my home then they are with their parents as my kids are still young and haven't done any kind of playdate without moms yet. When we get together we always plan out our food though, we have specific diets (GAPS), food intolerances, Celiac's and food allergies in my main group of friends, so everything is discussed. I love feeding people in my home but not strangers or when out.

Edited May 6, 2012 by soror

[chepyl]

I would not feed them at all. I would say, "go see if tour mommy brought something for you." I would also say no to a stranger giving my child food. Friends at the park, no problem; complete strangers, not at all.

[ssavings]

Other, I have never been in a situation where other kids come around begging for food.

 

It seems to happen to us at one specific park. We go there weekly-ish, and there are always random kids asking for food/water. It struck me as very strange at first (even my little 3 year old would be highly unlikely to ask a stranger for food/drink).

[Jen in PA]

I voted that I give them the food without asking parents, but that was before I noticed the ages of your kids. With the preschool crowd, I would ask first to check for allergies and make sure I wasn't messing up a meal schedule.

[lailasmum]

Random kids we meet I wouldn't feed but kids we know in the street who are constantly popping in and out get snacks, having said that our snacks are rather dull so I haven't yet come across a kid who wants to come here for snacks when they can go home for junk food (several of them definitely have free access to junk at home). There is one little girl I give dinner to regularly if she is around at that time of day but she is our neighbour and I know her parents.

[JeneralMom]

Ask first. DD5 is gluten free and so many people don't realize how prevalent gluten is even in things you wouldn't assume (like Twizzlers). All of my kids are allergic to chocolate and cocoa finds it way into the weirdest places (like Taco seasoning) so my kids always ask first and I always make kids ask their parents first unless we see them a lot and are very familiar with their allergies/food restrictions.

[Dustybug]

I really needed more information--are these friends you're at the park with? whose parents you know and who know you?--but then, I'm trying to imagine my own dc going over to someone else--even people they know--and expecting to be fed, and I just go :blink:

 

So yes, I'm good with "Go ask your parents."

 

I am assuming you are referring to random children in public places, not friends you are meeting up with at the park.

 

I don't feed random children in parks. I don't want to encourage them to beg food from strangers. They aren't pigeons !!! I wouldn't want mine to do it either ! IMO it is not acceptable social behavior for children to expect a handout from any adult who appears with food. I have always politely said no thank you when it is offered, and trained our children not to expect food to be offered by people we don't know and aren't at the park "together" with. I also do my best to give my kids their food with a little distance between us and any other children. If another child/children wander over, I say that "he is having a snack and will be back to play in a minute".

 

I will also say, as a mom of a kid who had to strictly avoid all dairy and eggs for four years, DO NOT give food to someone else's kid without asking the parent first. Ever. No. Exceptions. I have given lectures to quite a few moms about this. I know they think they are being nice but there is no way for them to know which kid is allergic to what, or has celiac, or is beginning the Feingold diet, etc. It is not a random adult's place to give food to a kid who is not theirs without the parent's permission.

 

For the moms of kids who have dietary restrictions and are too young to be able to know better than to take offered food, it actually can create a lot of stress to have to worry about strangers offering your kid snacks without permission or warning every time you go to a park. If I'm a helicopter mom, I got this way from having to hover over my kid to make sure he didn't take the stupid goldfish crackers every third stranger park mommy we ever encountered seemed to want to feed him.

 

I have on occasion got to chatting with another mom and discreetly, without her child seeing, offered to share something. But I keep it between her and I until she has approved, because I don't want to put her in the position of having to tell her child no after I have let the cat out of the bag. Whether or not her child ever even knows about the offer should be up to her.

 

I would not feed them at all. I would say, "go see if tour mommy brought something for you." I would also say no to a stranger giving my child food. Friends at the park, no problem; complete strangers, not at all.

 

 

:iagree:I'm very put off even by children we know asking for our food. I find it rude, tbh. My children would be corrected if they did so. That being said, if a random child came up to me at a park, I would probably send them back to their own parents to see if they had brought a snack and my children would never eat any food item given to them by a stranger. If it is a friend, we tend to offer them food and check with parents first.

 

One time not long ago, I had a lunch packed at a playdate with a friend. That friend brought another mutual friend, and even though I had told the first friend that we would be bringing lunch, they both chose to not bring one. My kids were expecting to eat, so I let them. One of the mutual friend's kids didn't even ASK but just started reaching into our lunch bag! :glare:

[nertsmommy]

I guess I should have made it clearer. Sorry.

 

Yes, these are random kids at the park. No clue who they are.

Last year the one looked to be about 3 and his parents were as far away from the playground area as they could be. I guess they didn't want to be bothered by the kids. We always find a picnic table closer to the playground because I like to keep an eye on my kids with so many strangers around. I tend to watch the kids that are unsupervised as well because the playground is next to the pool area. This 3 year old just came and sat down with us and looked at us expectantly.

 

My kids know not to take food from others and to not even ask especially strangers. It did seem really odd that these kids would just ask for food. People here tend to be odd though.

 

I usually bring a little extra in case we decide to stay longer. Food is expensive and I don't like just handing it out, but if a child is hungry I do feel bad for them and don't mind sharing if the parents permit it.

 

However, last year after one incident I did get very stingy. It was another family that didn't care to watch their own kids. They had gotten there when we did and the kids were all playing together. We sat down to eat our lunch and the kids (about 4 & 7) went to their parents and asked if they could eat. The mom said no that they didn't bring them anything. The kids came over to our picnic table and sat there staring at us eating. The parents said nothing. I did have extra so I had DH go over and ask the parents if it would be okay to offer their kids some if they were really hungry. The parents said it was okay and also added that the kids had not ate since 7am. It was now 1pm. They had forgotten to bring the kids food. So we fed them. About an hour later this family gets out a grill and proceeds to grill steaks. DH and I were like :001_huh: They cooked a steak for each of them and had chips and some other stuff. Their kids left the playground and asked them if they could have some. The parents said, "You don't like this." and "You already ate."

On the way home I told DH we should have went over to their table and sat there watching them eat.

 

The neighbor kids I don't mind so much unless they haven't been playing with my kids and only run over when I bring a snack out to mine.

[6wishes]

I voted "give them food" but was thinking about kids visiting here instead of a park situation.

 

If a kid is here usually she is her for several hours, if not all day and sometimes into the evening. I feed those girls at regular intervals.

 

If it is some random kid at the park or some other public place I'd make him/her go ask.

 

:iagree:

[mommy5]

Ask Please! As the mom of a food allergic child it is so important to be asked before my child is fed food that I did not give her. Many things have her allergen hidden (some brands of pretzels while others are safe). Please please please ask even children that are older may not be totally proficient in identifying foods that may have hidden allergens.

 

:iagree: I have 2 children that are allergic to hidden allergens (corn products are one...even corn syrup/corn starch)...

[Soror]

However, last year after one incident I did get very stingy. It was another family that didn't care to watch their own kids. They had gotten there when we did and the kids were all playing together. We sat down to eat our lunch and the kids (about 4 & 7) went to their parents and asked if they could eat. The mom said no that they didn't bring them anything. The kids came over to our picnic table and sat there staring at us eating. The parents said nothing. I did have extra so I had DH go over and ask the parents if it would be okay to offer their kids some if they were really hungry. The parents said it was okay and also added that the kids had not ate since 7am. It was now 1pm. They had forgotten to bring the kids food. So we fed them. About an hour later this family gets out a grill and proceeds to grill steaks. DH and I were like :001_huh: They cooked a steak for each of them and had chips and some other stuff. Their kids left the playground and asked them if they could have some. The parents said, "You don't like this." and "You already ate."

On the way home I told DH we should have went over to their table and sat there watching them eat.

.

Wow! That is insane!!!!

 

I agree w/ pp about asking parents. I have Celiac and intolerant kids. Lots of people think they know what that means but really have no clue. Also, some kids will die if given the wrong food it is very dangerous to give foods without verify with their parents, not even accounting for family preferences. Most allergic families are very, very watchful and most allergic kids know not to accept food from an early age, but it isn't worth the risk for anyone. Someone who told me that they were gluten free was offering me granola bars, made w/ regular oats. Most certainly not gluten free! Or people say it is dairy free but then remember the butter or such. We are soy intolerant(although not as bad as before) and soy lecithin and soy oil are in a ton of things, not as prevalent as corn but still in most processed food.

Edited May 6, 2012 by soror

[SJ.]

However, last year after one incident I did get very stingy. It was another family that didn't care to watch their own kids. They had gotten there when we did and the kids were all playing together. We sat down to eat our lunch and the kids (about 4 & 7) went to their parents and asked if they could eat. The mom said no that they didn't bring them anything. The kids came over to our picnic table and sat there staring at us eating. The parents said nothing. I did have extra so I had DH go over and ask the parents if it would be okay to offer their kids some if they were really hungry. The parents said it was okay and also added that the kids had not ate since 7am. It was now 1pm. They had forgotten to bring the kids food. So we fed them. About an hour later this family gets out a grill and proceeds to grill steaks. DH and I were like :001_huh: They cooked a steak for each of them and had chips and some other stuff. Their kids left the playground and asked them if they could have some. The parents said, "You don't like this." and "You already ate."

On the way home I told DH we should have went over to their table and sat there watching them eat.

 

 

That is bizarre!

 

You should have asked for some :lol:

[Ibbygirl]

Depending on the age of the child, I would ask the parent myself if it's ok.

 

:iagree: I would ask the parent myself rather than the kid too.

[Gingerbread Mama]

Last summer several times when we sat down to eat at the park kids would come over and wait for food. I have no problem giving them food. I just want to make sure they're allowed first.

 

 

I would ask the parents myself. I would worry that another parent might be angry with me.

 

Where on earth are these parents when their kids are staring balefully at you while you eat?

[boscopup]

I wouldn't feed stranger kids (don't want to perpetuate the idea in their heads that it's ok to take food from strangers!), but if it's friends' kids, I'll ask their parent if they can have something. Likewise, my friends ask before giving my kids stuff. One of my kids has a fructose intolerance, so giving him an apple would actually be a bad thing. And most people don't know which foods are high in fructose or fructans and which foods aren't. I still have to think about it sometimes. My kids know some of the biggies, like apples and apple juice. My 7 year old is really great about telling someone DS2 can't have something. But he doesn't know *every* food that needs to be avoided. Thankfully, this isn't an allergy, so the worst that happens if he gets an offending food is diarrhea and really bad behavior, but still... I have to live the rest of the day with a kid with diarrhea and really bad behavior, not the person that fed my kid. :lol:

 

You definitely should have gone over and asked for a steak from that family! :tongue_smilie:

[Impish]

Maybe I'm completely weird (rather than just mostly) but the idea of feeding strange kids is totally out of my experience.

 

I have a hard time imagining giving my kids a snack, and being descended on by other kids in the area.

 

Honestly, I just don't see feeding strange kids. Again, not something I've ever experienced, being in that situation...but coming from someone that more often than not is living on a very tight budget, I wouldn't be bringing extra to start w/.

[laundrycrisis]

I do not feed strangers' kids, and I no longer offer anything to neighbor kids, and even if they ask, I will find a nice way to say no. I used to feel that it was polite to share, and it is, within reasonable limits. But then I was taken advantage of in this area, pretty outrageously, and now I no longer feel any guilt about being "stingy" with the food and drinks I am giving our own kids. I am not a stingy person by nature, and I am happy to make donations to the local food pantry - but our house is not a soup kitchen for the poorly-mannered children of neighbors who are not in financial need for food. I am fine with the occasional spontaneous sharing of lemonade or popsicles. I am not find with neighbor kids who tell our gullible son to come in and ask for a Coke or a banana or a sandwich to give to them, just to see how much they can get out of our house and have their parents laugh about it later.

 

I realize that in some social circles it is seen as acceptable for elementary-aged kids to roam the neighborhood in a pack, going in and out of each others' houses, acting like they own the place, and taking food and drinks from whatever house they are at. IMO this is awful behavior. I will not tolerate it at our house or from our children (who are not allowed to roam). I don't care if it makes them the geeks of the neighborhood - they will be raised with proper manners regarding other people's houses, food and drinks.