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Gingerbread Mama

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Everything posted by Gingerbread Mama

  1. HUGE :grouphug: He sounds like a looney toon. I would hope a judge's first question would be "Well, sir, since you are SO concerned....where WERE you for those ten years?" People can be such idiots, using a child to try to hurt an ex.
  2. Ideally, I'd shoot for "Yes Ma'am." If they've done something egregious, then an "I'm sorry." would also be in line with what I'm hoping to hear. I DON'T like arguing over whether or not they are in the right, sarcasm, eye rolling, sulking/seething, refusing to make eye contact, the ever popular teen expression "Whatever" (or, if you are my niece apparently it's "WhatEV", because you're far too cool to even finish a word), or something worse like flipping the bird or cursing. None of that is tolerated here.
  3. Hmmm. So the weather wasn't ton cold for swimming even in late November? Wow. Even the pool was a bit too chilly in late March. Of course, I like my pool and ocean water to be like bath water lol We love to swim in the ocean, and hardly use the pool if we are at the beach, so I guess I should be asking if the water is super rough then. I didn't even think of that.
  4. I want to take my kids to Gulf Shores this fall. I'm looking at October, we will probably need a break by then LOL I'm thinking the two best weeks for us would either be the first week of October or the week of the 22-26. When would you go? We always went in late June and it was soooo crowded. We went a couple of years ago in late march and it was so much less crowded and more pleasant BUT the water was icy. I'm wondering if the later date is pushing it too far far comfortable water. I want to experience the beach in the fall, but I'm wondering if that's too far into the fall. Should I pick the first week of October or will it be crowded with PS students in fall break?
  5. I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything :lol: :iagree:It is amazing what people think it's okay to expect of children. Sit at a desk for hours on end, filling in blanks? Sure. Take away PE as punishment to a child who is hyperactive (and force him to spend ANOTHER 30 min sitting in a desk, filling out papers)? Sure. This child is having a hard time in reading or math and really needs to go back a level, but is on target for everything else.... drop him back a level in that one subject? No. Add 80 problems of homework, because him not understanding the concept is just not having "practiced" enough? Sure... I took hours out for a variety of reasons. Social (too much administrative tolerance of bad behavior in their peers), academic (they each had areas that needed remediation, the older two also had areas they excelled in and could have been more challenged), and health (all the sick kids, contagious disease, and scary food choices - my youngest had severe migraines several times a week for 3 years, within a month of being home we were seeing them abate. He's had 2 mild ones in the six months he's been home. Such a blessing!)
  6. I think I understand what FairProspects is saying, and it isn't JUST about the dinner hour. We use evenings as our family time. DH works all day, we eat supper when he gets home and then often have family time with games or a movie and popcorn. If we are doing something every night at 5:00 or later that means we have to lose the family time. For us, that is unacceptable. I really think too many people give up private time with their spouse and children for all these activities. I see so many kids now that are closer to their friends than their own parents... I want to move to an area that has a higher concentration of homeschoolers. I'm hoping that there will be some class type things offered to a homeschool group during daytime hours, leaving our evenings free. I know that on one Y website, they do a homeschool group thing that meets at maybe 11 am and did things like karate. I WISH we could get to a place that has something like that. ETA: I hope that doesn't come across as inflammatory to someone who DOES participate in evening sports/classes. I don't mean it that way. I'm just frustrated and saddened that I don't have other options in my area (and that when someone asks why we don't do x,y, or z and I point out that doing that would cut into our time as a family, they look at me like I sprouted a second head.)
  7. I wish. You'd think out of my three, someone would be a back rubber. Sadly, that is not the case :( I often beg/cajole/barter my oldest to massage a kink in my back, he would be a really good masseuse, but doesn't like to do it. The younger ones will brush my hair, though :)
  8. OP, it's been my (unprofessional) opinion that they often reduce meds to school/work days only because of the appetite decrease seen in children. At least that was one of the things I found parents most concerned about when I dealt with the meds dispensing in public school, and it would worry me, too. I also had an adult friend who tried Ritalin. She said it was wonderful for her concentration BUT she couldn't take it more than 2 days in a row before she became hateful and mean. She said after two days, she would start looking for reasons to snap at people. That is not her, at all! She finally quit taking it altogether for that reason. ETA - I agree with MomatHWTK, she probably notices the difference. It may just be the lesser of two evils for her. It would stink to be in that situation.
  9. I'd spend the summer looking at other music teachers. If you don't find one you want to try, you can always re-up with her in the fall. Honestly, I know mistakes happen, but that is kind of a BIG one. I mean, I don't teach music, but unless I got an email saying "We can't make that date/time", I would have contacted you to see if you knew what was going on. Didn't she have at least one rehearsal prior to the recital? I would think that she'd have gotten a clue then that you weren't in the loop. I don't think not hearing back from you can be taken as you declining to be in the recital.
  10. If so, do you find it worth the cost? How old are your children and what do you typically use from the site? I keep finding links to it in searches for worksheet/lapbook type things, but can't see the full size (or even reduced size) image to see if it's something I'd actually want to use. For $20 a year, I'm tempted to try it out.....but I also know how "it's only $20!!" can end up costing me hundreds when I think everything is "only $20" :tongue_smilie:
  11. You know what? That just stinks. How is it okay for these predators to move into neighborhoods with family, notice or not? How is it fair for normal, law abiding families to have to re-arrange their lives, live in fear, and restrict their children from otherwise safe activities so that these creeps can get a second chance at being a decent human being? I think we ought to steralize them and ship them all off to a sex offender colony, let them enjoy each others company and keep them out of our hair. :glare:
  12. What a wonderful post, it makes my Monday a little easier to handle! It sounds like she will soon be conducting plenty of business, and thriving at it!
  13. You know, I haven't figure out why it's funny when it happens to other people, but makes me see red LOL That may have actually saved my children's lives today. I got up at 7:30 (which means I gave up on ever sleeping restfully after being up at 3, 5, and 6, beforehand!) and watched an episode of Grimm and had breakfast. I do find that trying to go straight from the bed to the, erm, boisterousness of children is NOT a good idea for me! Hmm, that is food for thought. We do a lot of things on the weekend. This weekend they did a Lowe's workshop with DH, bowled, and, yesterday, we went to a museum. We try to do stuff like that so DH (or their grandad, if we are at home) can participate as they enjoy having them along. However, we could do "fun" school stuff on Mondays I guess. We usually do a 4 day week, with a fun break in the middle, but maybe we should try swapping it around....
  14. I swear, Mondays are going to drive me insane. I briefly thought of not doing any school on Mondays, but that just makes Tuesday the "new Monday" . We had a full, busy, fun weekend. Everyone had some down time and relaxed. You'd think they'd be ready to start fresh today, but no. I did a read aloud during breakfast, which DS8 managed to interrupt twice for silly things :glare:, then moved on to lessons. LIGHT lessons, for the boys, I might add, as it was all review. ODS had reducing fractions to simplest form down pat last week, it was to be a brief run through of a review from earlier this year. We had one (easy) page left from last week, so I asked him to do it today. It took for.ev.er. He kept dawdling and piddling, he told me he was "working it in his head", but it looked to me like he was poking the pencil through his toes. Twice, when I asked what problem he was on, I got a blank stare and "huh?" which makes me think he was NOT thinking about a math problem.... And DD, dear, sweet DD... apparently has some sort of anxiety that causes her to freak out the minute she doesn't know an answer instantly. Forget thinking it through or working it on scratch paper, no go straight to the meltdown :tongue_smilie: Just when I think she has the times tables down, we try to USE mulitplication as part of a problem (vs just saying a x b = _____) and she can't remember the times tables anymore. Converstion from this morning about perfect squares, we had already gone over perfect squares AND 64 was one of the EXAMPLES given as well as being one of the questions on the page: Me: So, why is 64 a perfect square? DD: *thinks for 3.5 seconds* I don't (waaah) knoooooooowwwww Me: Okay, a perfect square is a number times itself. What number, times itself, has an answer of 64? DD: GAAAAAH! I don't know, don't know, don't know Me: Well, okay. One of the numbers is EIGHT. A perfect square is a number times itself. If one of the numbers is eight, what must the other number be? DD: :blink: um...I don't know...3? Me: :001_huh: And THAT is my MOST mathy child. *sigh* YDS has zero interest in doing school today. All he has talked about is what the temp is outside, whether it will rain, when will neighbors be outside, are we going to go get stuff for a trip to the beach this weekend, etc.. We will, if previous weeks are an indication, be back in the swing of things tomorrow. I just don't know what to do about Mondays? Invest in bulk loads of wine just try to survive them? I could school them 7 days a week, I guess, but I think we'd all burn out in about 2 weeks. They all require such hand holding that I can't imagine doing it EVERY DAY. Frankly, I need the break. I wish I could clean the kitchen while they do math, but it seems like if I get one situated then another one immediately has a problem. So it feels like all I do, all day, is cook a meal, do school, clean the kitchen up, cook another meal, clean it up,do some school, do laundry.... Adding in all the "I forgots" and fits on Mondays makes me want to fall over and cry. Maybe we could budget for an in home tutor on Monday so that someone else could be the heavy. Then I can step in on Tuesday, when their brains work again.
  15. If you have Lowes nearby, sign them up for the build and grow clinic. It's fun and free! My DH took our youngest two today and said it was a neat experience. As a bonus they get to keep their aprons and goggles and they get a patch for the projects they do (to iron on the apron I guess)
  16. It will get better. I had three children in four years.....those first few years were honest to goodness awful for the most part. Between diapers, the oldest starting school and having constant homework (which would take up the time you are spending on playdates and dr's appts), kids getting sick and puking, kids wetting the bed, did I mention diapers (I had two 15.5 months apart :glare: I joke that all I did for three years was wipe behinds...), fixing meals, taking baths, kids playing with toys... There was just no way in heck to keep the house pristine. It was a battle, somedays, just to keep it above the level of a biohazard. Now, my kids are 13, 9, and 8. It is sooo much better that it's unreal. They can bathe themselves, clear the table, fold towels even! No more diapers to change! They can put away their own toys, make their own beds. My house is usually pretty presentable and clean. I have friends with less children who :confused: when they come over and ask how I keep it so clean and have more kids than they do. My secret is slave labor :tongue_smilie: Each child must clean their own room, and do whatever simple chore I tell them to do. They make their own beds in the morning, and sort their laundry into mesh hampers as they undress. I wash the clothes, they each put their own away. Life is sooo much better - household hygiene wise LOL - with older kids!
  17. Can anyone give me a link? We won't see the NP until late August, and I'm soooo ready to go :(
  18. Well, I have to respectfully disagree and redirect you to my first post. The things like not recognizing numbers, or being able to dial a phone, or read...those are stroke related. However, the paranoia and over-inserting herself (is that even a word? I don't know how else to say it) have existed for years before the stroke. She truly believes that being blood related to DH gives her the right to demand information, and she's always been terrified of anything outside our home county. I've been married to DH for almost 15 years, it became clear to me that she wasn't mentally sound fairly early in the marriage. She also isn't truly "old", she is early 50's and this stroke, unfortunately happened a few years ago during a heart procedure. I do think the stroke has caused her many disabilities, but it has also caused her to have too much time to focus on her paranoia, which existed well before any stroke. She basically has no boundaries and is overly familiar. She has brought up our sex life, specific sex acts, etc.. She wants 24 hour access to us all. And that was all pre-stroke. I agree. I think DH absently mentioned it. Like BIL said "So how's things?" And DH probably said something like "Good. DD broke her arm, not much else." BUT then BIL started the "prayer chain" (my sarcastic term for gossip mill LOL) and it got back to MIL. I think BIL is a psycho, and he's another reason I'm happy to be out of their reach, but I don't think he did it to cause me trouble this time, he just doesn't "get" wanting privacy. I will say that I've prepared our house to go on the market and I'm looking at other places to live, too far for them to jump in the car and arrive unannounced on my doorstep. Mostly due to BIL and MIL, well all due to them. The rest of the family just tolerates them and complains behind their backs , which I find odd. In my family, we'd say "You're being a weirdo. Stop or I'm not going to see you anymore." ;) Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately as I don't want more contact with his family, we don't have anything to do with her appts. Her husband (DH's stepdad) wants to be solely responsible for that. Which is fine, except I wish he'd manage her better. He doesn't HAVE to dial the phone for her to call me, ask what she wants to talk to me about and if it's that she thinks SWAT is going to break in our door just for having kids home during the day in Chicago, tell her no and move on. DH and his mother don't speak unless they happen to end up in the same room and then it's just a civil hello. So he wouldn't be taking her to or going to any dr appts. SFIL wouldn't take me telling him that she is having mental issues, and has had them for years, well at all. He babies her and gives her whatever she wants. I have been avoiding telling her she is going to have to leave me alone, but I think it's come down to it. I asked that if my mom felt she couldn't NOT answer (and again, if mom doesn't answer, MIL gets SFIL to take her to the house, so I guess answering the phone is the lesser evil for my mom) to just say "Huh, I dunno." and play dumb.
  19. Well she is taking a ton of meds and sees many specialists. I don't feel that the stroke caused this, it just took away her ability to do activities that kept her busy enough that she had less time to freak out. She probably should have been being treated for mental health issues her whole life. I don't think she's ever taken anything, she thinks this is what family does. Apparently they have a right to all information, whether you want to share or not. It just shocks me that they let her do these things. I would be keeping my mother on a short leash lest she annoy anyone. Or dh if this were him. Just don't dial the phone, don't pass along info. I hadn't considered SIL doing it to take heat off her. Hmmmm...
  20. My mom has caller I'd but feels bad screening her calls LOL FWIW, she doesn't call me to complain about it. She will call me as a "Man the lifeboats" sort of warning. Frankly it irritates ME that she calls my mom, it's creepy. Like "I will not be ignored!" She wont call dh because she can't stand him. If I could get her to not like me I might be safe.
  21. I'm not looking to start a debate about family closeness, nor do you have to agree with me, I'm really just wanting to vent. A :grouphug: would not be unwelcome, though. My MIL has always been, to my way of thinking, odd. She is paranoid about leaving our small hometown, she invites EVERY single drunk/drug addicted relative they have to her home at holidays because they are *family* (and this is after her grown DD and her husbands (first and second husbands) have asked that she not), she is obsessed with a certain grandchild (thankfully not one I gave birth to)... Talking to her makes me want to yank out handfuls of hair and scream, so I try to limit my contact with her. DH is working in Chicago, about 9 hours from where we have a home. The kids and I have come out a couple of times for a few months at a time. It's nice, we have fun, there is so much more to do here, and we all get to be together. You'd think she would be happy about that, but no. She calls me all the time in a panic, crying and saying she is worried about us. She thinks the kids will get taken by child services because I homeschool, she thinks they'll be kidnapped or harmed, all because we are in Chicago. She NEVER does this when we are at home. Now, here's the thing, she had a stroke several years ago. DH wants to blame the whole thing on the stroke, but she was this way BEFORE. It's worse now, but she's always been afraid of the unknown and obsessive. It's just that before she had lots of activities to keep her busy, now she's disabled and sits around stewing. I can't have a reasonable conversation with her. Even if I manage to not lose it, and get across to her that we aren't in danger, she will be back at it within a week. She has taken to calling my mother when she can't get me (there are times when I know I'm not emotionally able to listen to her so I don't answer) and will cry and carry on to her. Again, DH thinks it's the stroke but she did that before, too. If I didn't answer the phone at home, she'd call my mom and start saying "Have you heard from her? Do you think she's hurt and can't get to the phone? Are the kids hurt?!" I mean, come on. Maybe I'm busy, maybe I'm out. Sheesh. Not long ago DD had a skate/bike wreck with a neighbor kid. She fractured her wrist. I don't think I even told my mom about it when it happened, but I did text her a picture of DD with her arm in a splint and told her what had happened once it was over. Frankly, I just wanted to vent to my mom that I was worried DD would be in a cast and not be able to swim, and have her summer ruined. Anyway, DH told his brother, who apparently told their sister (because BIL doesn't speak to MIL at all), who then told MIL I'm guessing. So.... MIL calls me this morning. I have terrible cell reception in the apartment and we were doing schoolwork so I waited until we had a break and went outside to call her. I didn't get an answer, but left a message that I was returning her call, told her why I couldn't answer earlier, and told her to call me back if she needed to. I really wanted to just say "And we're fine so leave me the heck alone" but I didn't. On a hunch, I called my mom and, sure enough, MIL had called her and told her that "Someone told me GD broke her arm." Not that SIL told her, but "somebody". My mom said oh yeah, she did. Then she said "I'm surprised anyone knew. I haven't told anyone about it, I just found out and hadn't thought much about it." MIL then snapped "No, you didn't tell anyone, you sure didn't tell ME." Uh? :confused: Why would MY mother call anyone in DH's family and inform them of anything unless I had asked her to do so? So that is irking me. Then, DH and I still disagree on the whole thing. He says that the issue is that his mother is now, basically, retarded from the stroke and I'm expecting her to act like an adult and she can't. First, no. She can hold adult conversations, she can remember somethings but not others. She can't read or recognize numbers anymore, but she isn't like a 4 year old cognitively for crying out loud. AND she was this way BEFORE the stroke!!!! My issue is, her husband has to dial the phone for her because she can't work one anymore. When she asks to call me, or anyone else that she obssesses about, why doesn't he ask why she wants to call and then, if it's asinine, say something like "Now, remember, DDIL told you that she was doing everything by the book with homeschooling. You already told her you were worried about CPS and she told you why that wouldn't happen. Let's not call about that again." The other issue I have is SIL. Why, WHY, would she tell her mother this if it's only going to upset her and cause her to obsess? I know MIL has this "thing" about not being informed. She had a cow when she inadvertently found out that I had ovarian cysts and hadn't told her. Um, I told DH. I talked with my mom casually about it, but I didn't call everyone I knew and say "Hey, just found out that I have ovarian cysts and I wanted you to know." I think DD's arm is along those lines. We are 9 hours away, we had it handled, it wasn't an emergency or huge, bad accident. We chose not to inform everyone of a minor fracture, what the heck is her deal? Honestly, the more she does this, the less I WANT to share with her. I don't like people demanding that I tell them every little thing. The whole thing has me rankled, especially because DH knew that if she found out she'd be worrying me to death and blaming the whole thing on us being in big, bad Chicago (because, heaven knows, no kid could would have an accident in Podunk, USA..) He even made the comment that he'd been on the phone with his older son, who was with MIL, and didn't tell him in case he told MIL. His exact words were "I almost threw you under the bus, then backed the bus up over you." So he knew enough not to tell his son when he was with MIL, but he told BIL (and every time he tells BIL anything I can count the seconds until he tells it to SIL and SIL phones it in to MIL.... and I get "the call".) So I'm wondering WHY he continues to tell BIL anything. I so don't get this family. My grandmother could be a worrier, and my mom and uncle routinely didn't tell her minor stuff, just so they wouldn't have to hear her bemoaning it needlessly. We just don't do that carp in my family. Oh, and before anyone asks, it isn't that DH is close to his mother. They don't speak, either. She constantly makes belittling remarks about him, and he, for his own reasons, hates her. So it isn't that he wanted his mom to know because they are close.
  22. Hmm. Ours collects socks, chargers for electronic gadgets, hair ties/headbands (but only when they've been on DD's head :glare:), and, it recently acquired YDS's Kindle Fire.... there really must BE a black hole here, because we tore the apartment apart the other day - searched every nook, cranny, bag, box - and still can't locate the Kindle.
  23. She sounds like a dingbat. Hopefully, whoever you work with next will be professional. Do they know she is relying in texting as communications and using text speak to boot? I strongly dislike "r u goin 2.." and would be totally put off to have someone using it with me in a professional situation. Clearly, that isn't your biggest problem. I just think it makes it that much more annoying. I'd put up with it if the person were doing their job effectively. I am good friends with a teacher, she uses text speak. She is such a good teacher and it makes her look so unprofessional. I haven't commented because it isn't huge in the scheme of things. I do find it irritating when I try to talk to her, though.
  24. I won't have kids in my house that I have to babysit. My youngest is 8, I'm through with babying kids. We simply wouldn't have children over a second time if they acted that way. :iagree: I think I'd skip wondering if I was at fault here for not clarifying that the closed door meant do not enter. What these girls did once they got inside goes from weird (reading in bed) to outright disrespect(ripping a poster). It isn't like they got caught in there just looking around. We'd have no more birthday parties at home (theft, destruction of property, and something slightly icky about lying in someone's bed but I can't think of a technical name...) and those girls wouldn't be invited to any more parties, no matter where they were held. Your DD deserves better friends.
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