Oh dear. Your day does stink, I'm so sorry. Is it trite to say I hope tomorrow is a better day?

:iagree: I truly hate the photo stream/icloud thing. I have one photo, that I took screenshot as a medical example ("Hey, does it look like this??") and who wants a picture of sutures permanently in their photo stream? The only way I've found to keep from seeing it is to turn off photo stream. Apparently you can't edit photostream. Very irritating. Now how does iCloud help with a lost phone? Mine is always on silent, which makes finding it a real PITA.

Ah! I think that's it :) Thank you, I've tried it so we will see if it works.

If you have an iPhone, you know that when you have an incoming text it will often pop up a little "preview" or partial view of the message on your phone screen...even when the screen is locked. I've installed a PIN on my phone to keep anyone from just rifling through it, but for the moment I also don't want anyone to be getting "clued in" to some very personal stuff that I have going on right now, should a text come in. I looked it up online, and it said you could go to Settings>Messages and then turn off the message preview. I didn't have any option concerning message preview in the Settings>Message area. I did have a software update on it that I hadn't done, because my laptop, that I used to log into my iTunes account, had a broken screen and is unusable. I did, however, log DS out of his iTunes, on his laptop, and log myself in. So I'm now running the latest software. I went and checked again, and it did rearrange the options under Settings>Messages....but still nothing relating to preview. Can anyone help me? Is there anywhere else to look? It is an iPhone 4, running 5.1.1 operating system....

I would advise my friend to have an honest conversation with her husband. Tell him about the pregnancy and her concerns. If she absolutely will NOT go through the pregnancy (even if he wants her to) she needs to tell him that, too. He should have a chance to process this information and decide what he can live with. I think, if the only reason she doesn't want this child is because she thinks it will ruin his future, then not giving him an equal say is treating him like he's incompetent to make his own decisions. Also, what if she were to have something go wrong during the procedure? What if she hemorrhaged? What if she developed a serious infection? How would she explain that? Unless she admitted that she'd hidden the truth the first time, she'd be forced to tell a lie. As for his parents - that is his concern. He should be the one to decide whether to do something that might potentially upset his parents. I'd really not give that another thought. I understand her position, but I'd just let that be up to him. FWIW, I'm pro-life and my DH *says* he's pro-choice (I'm not sure if he is or if he just likes the sensationalism of saying he is. Frankly, he's never been in a position to make that choice, so I don't know what he'd ultimately say/do in that position...) and I am fairly certain that he'd be mad at me if I did what she is considering doing. He would be upset that I hadn't discussed it with him beforehand, he'd feel tricked. If they can't support a baby/don't want a baby...could she consider adoption?

Thank you for the information. Ds is eight and a half, but was in first grade in public school last fall. He has some learning issues, is very small for his age, and is emotionally closer to seven than nine at this point. I don't know that he would fit well with a group of kids who would be third grade next year, which he technically could be based on age. I did know about the boy scout crossover issue, but unless he matures a ton before then, I can't see him handling it too well at... Is it 11 or 12? He is going for neuropsych evals in August and we will know more about what to expect then. Hmm. My friend *is* LDS, and there is a LDS church in the town across the state line. Perhaps she knows about that, I'll ask.

Ok, so he would still get to be grouped with his friend (if they switched troops as well) and just have to earn a different badge? I'm pretty sure our local one grouped by badges, or maybe it just worked out that way. I'm not even sure I saw any boys joining later, so I really can't say. Thanks. I think he would enjoy scouting, there just was no way to make that situation work :ack2:

I didn't know she'd be there. I saw the little boy and his father at the sign up, but then they split up and she refused to let him take the boy to scouts. If it was just the boy and his dad, it wouldn't bother me. I'm not wild about the dad, but he doesn't talk about %$#!ing my husband, either. I mostly wondered if DS would have to be a year behind forever now... if so, we'd just have to come up with something else. He's already almost 2 years older than the kids we joined with, because I held him back in school and you had to be 1st grade to join.

YDS wanted to try scouts. We signed up and I was quickly turned off. The entire troop meets at one time, and my husband's ex (my stepson's mother) has her youngest child there. This woman is ..... uncouth would be the polite term. She makes inappropriate comments about her past with DH, she discusses bedroom issues with whoever the current man is, she is too loud and obscene. She SEEKS ME OUT at things like this, like we are friends. Even without the kids she makes me very uncomfortable, but I'm on pins and needles when I see her and I have the kids. For that reason, we ended up stopping attending scout meetings. Like, almost immediately :( There are no other troops locally, this serves the whole county. DS's best friend goes but his mother isn't in love with the troop, either. I think she would be agreeable to going to another troop if we found one. I'm wondering 2 things. DS would have to "catch up" to whatever the second level of cub scouts is or he wouldn't be in the same group with his friend. I wish I'd known about Lone Scouts, we'd have done that when we left the troop. Anyway, could we Lone Scout the first level? How long would it take? Or maybe I should say does it have to take a full year or can you accelerate? Can we even Lone Scout? I looked at the website and it said for boys abroad, without local troops, it didn't mention ones with fathers that have crazy stalker exes :glare: The other thing I'm wondering is whether we can join another troop? There is one thirty minutes away, but not only is it another town, it's another state. Will they take us or are we *required* to join this local troop. I guess if it's this troop or nothing, we'll have to look for something else. I can't stomach that on a weekly basis. My mother says we can't do this. She says we have to join the local troop and that we can't Lone Scout. Of course, she'd never heard of Lone Scouts She has no experience with scouts, though, so I thought I'd ask others....

I'll throw in my experience. Like Scarlett, I've had situations get me so down that I just don't function. I'm too zoned out to eat, and, even if I wasn't, looking at food makes me feel like throwing up. I haven't felt that way in a long time, but had something dropped on me this week that has sent me spiraling into that abyss. I know how bad you feel, though my cause is different. I quit taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I finally decided it wasn't fair for me to have to medicate myself to deal with other people's issues. Of course, for me, if those people would go ON meds they'd be easier to deal with :glare: Anyway, I didn't like them for my situation, BUT I've been considering asking my Dr to call me in a few anti-anxiety just so I can sleep. The no sleeping is making the no eating even worse. Once it's quiet, and the lights are out, my mind starts racing to the "what ifs" and "why is this happening". I think if I could block that out for a week I might be able to get back on the mend. So, anyway, you might call about a short term prescription even if you don't want a long term one. :grouphug:

I don't know that your husband's decision to spend on himself can be "blamed" on his raising. I never had to work. My mom bought me a brand new, expensive car when I turned 16. I had tons of clothes, I never wanted for anything. My dad sent $250 in child support each month and my mom gave it to me for spending money. My DH's family was more like yours. Our spending styles are the exact opposite of yours. I will do without to make sure my kids don't want, DH will spend, spend, spend on silly things for himself when that money could be put to good use on the kids. Not that he's totally irresponsible....he makes sure bills are met and the kids DO have a good life....but he just spent $100 on a THIRD xbox that the kids aren't allowed to play (not by his choice, by mine because of screen addiction), while telling me we couldn't afford a $100 membership to the zoo. He wanted the xbox, he doesn't "give a crap" about the zoo. In our case, raising would have to have had the opposite effect. I want my kids to have it as good as I did, my mom sacrificed her wants for me and I will for my kids. DH grew up doing without and doesn't want to do without as an adult. His parents said he didn't earn their money so they wouldn't spend it on him, he doesn't want to spend the money HE earned on things for his kids if it isn't what HE wants. I really think it's just more personality and how you respond to your childhood. Not criticizing, just offering a different experience ;)

Why would that be out of spite? You updated her, and she threw a fit to your stepmother and upset her even more than she already, rightfully, was... I'd see it as protecting the rest of the family. Your stepmom's life will be much less stressful if she puts her foot down and refuses to apologize for things where she wasn't in the wrong. This woman doesn't like her and doesn't keep up with her, she shouldn't expect updates from stepmom. Your sister is being a petty brat and, if her feelings get hurt by hearing the truth, that isn't spite it's natural consequences.

No, he isn't. My mother warned me that this would cause issues, I thought she was just being an elitist snob.....unfortunately, now I see what she meant. It wasn't that she meant I was "too good" for him, but rather that she could see the jealousy and resentment he had for how I was raised. I was an only child with divorced but solidly middle class parents. My grandparents were upper middle class and they helped my mom quite a bit to make sure I had every opportunity. DH's family was large, quite poor, and his grandparents are estranged on one side and died early on the other. He still calls me a "spoiled only child". Sometimes it is fondly "Oh, you wouldn't know about that, spoiled only child" and sometimes it is intentionally cruel "You'd never be able to understand because you're a spoiled only child and think you're better than me." His parents rarely took their kids anywhere, or gave them anything. Partly due to money, but partly due to indifference. They were neglectful at best and abusive at their worst. My MIL truly has mental issues that keep her from being able to not compete with her own children. I believe she really hates it that DH has managed to go further in life than she did and has been able to afford things for his family that she couldn't. She is spiteful and mean, not to mention petty and paranoid. Having said all that, DH is jealous of our kids, I do believe. He frequently comments that HIS mother didn't love him enough to do such and such, HIS mother didn't care enough to feed him anything but raw hot dogs, HIS mother didn't make sure that HE was taken to other places and given cultural experiences. You'd think he'd say that in an "And I'm so glad my wife DOES love MY kids enough to do that." But it's more petulant and "If I didn't get it, neither should they." He and his siblings have some major entitlement issues. They aren't opposed to expecting handouts from those who "have", because they "had not" when they were younger. They also show major pettiness over people who "have". The funny thing is, I never thought of myself as well off. I knew I could have been *worse* off, but I was pretty much on an even playing field with most kids I knew... I was shocked by how intense his feelings were about the differences in our childhood. I would be resentful of my parents for not caring enough to do better and sad for what I'd lost, but I can't imagine hating someone else because they had parents who DID provide those things. It has made me INCREDIBLY grateful to my parents that I was given such experiences, even when they weren't getting along they wanted me to go, do, and see, and they made that happen. As a result, I tend to view someone who has a lot of "stuff" or money as a hard worker or good money manager instead of begrudging them their good fortune. And...I'm not afraid of the world because I know how to interact with people of all classes. It has caused HUGE issues between us. I believe he WANTS to be a good father and so he provides those things for his kids (at my prodding, I feel he would have raised his kids as his parents did him if I weren't around), but it makes me sad that he can't be glad that his kids are having opportunities that the didn't, that perhaps their lives will be less rough and tumultous than his teen years/ early adulthood because they have parents who can and will show an interest. This has been on my mind the last few days, as we are experiencing difficulties relating to this very thing currently :glare: After 15 years of marriage, I'm losing my compassion for him on this. I feel like telling him "I know your childhood was crappy. It makes me sad for you. I'd like to slap your parents over it. Now suck it up and be a grown up, for goodness sakes."

My almost 13 year old is sitting here watching Magic School Bus. He didn't choose it, and he is watching with his 9 and 8 year old siblings, but he isn't complaining either. I'd rather have him watch that sort of thing (or others mentioned here) than the MTV and adult themed Prime Time shows many of his peers are watching. I have a friend who let her 8 year old girls watch CSI, then she was humiliated when they were caught explaining pole dancing to their peers and another mother let them have it. Well.....

:iagree: My first thought upon reading the question at the end of your post was "More that we are trying to acclimate them to being suspected of being criminals and treated accordingly." I realize, though, that sad as it may be, there is a small percentage - growing by the day in my neck of the woods - of out of control kids who do not feel the need to submit to authority and do not have empathy for others or remorse when they've done wrong. We are slowly letting the inmates dictate the rules of the asylum.... I don't know the answer, but the direction the world is going scares me when I think too much about it. *Shudder*

Do you have any state parks, zoos, or museums near by that you could visit? If so, you could institute a field trip day. Educational AND gets you out of the house.

:iagree: In the end, I don't think it matters why he was behaving inappropriately. I also applaud your courage. I'd have probably tried to ignore him and then made the kids leave quickly...I'm a weenie with public confrontation. I'm trying to teach myself not to worry about that so much, as people do take advantage of that.

I must not read enough :tongue_smilie: I hadn't heard of those books. My first thought was the Disc World books...or Wee Free Men specifically. For a while, after we read it aloud, I spent a lot of time saying "Crivens" and calling the kids "Wee beasties". ODS has never been so glad to start a new read aloud :lol:

Just one... Is what my dad used to tell me true? Are insects a source of protein? ;)

You can't be "behind", because I have 3 kids and have only managed to buy the oldest two reading material for next year. I'm still waffling on what else I want for them, and won't even decide what I'm doing with the youngest one until early fall when we are done with evaluations for learning delays. There, beat that ;)

Ok, this post dredged up a memory for me and made a liar out of me for my previous post. I DO see one guy in overalls quite a bit at home. He's a retired teacher and he has a garden in his yard. He wears overalls all the time now as he says he "farms" now that he's retired. He says it with full knowledge that he really has a backyard garden, and it's quite charming. Oh, and I was referring to denim bib overalls in both posts. Hadn't considered the coverall kind...does that make me a hick?

Hmmm, I really had to think on that and was shocked at my answer. I live in the rural South, where people put "Bubba" as a legal name on a birth certificate (I kid you not)... but I haven't seen overalls on an adult, or even kid, in quite a while. I was on my way to Chicago a little over a week ago and DID see an old guy, in southern IL, driving his tractor while wearing a button down shirt and overalls. It drew my attention because my great-granddad dressed like that and it seems so funny to put on a dress shirt to do such manual labor. So, anyway, I found it odd that you'd think I'd see it all over where I live, but had to come 9 hours to the North to see it.

That kind of sums up my feelings on FB and the topic at hand. I think people are moving away from close, real time relationships and into a more cyber/virtual way of life. I think it's sad, but it is what it is (gosh I hate that phrase, it really bites using it, but I can't think of a better way to say what I mean..) and I try not to dwell on it. I refuse to operate that way, myself, though. It was one of the reasons I deleted my account on FB. I'm really sorry for your loss, and that you may not have the opportunity to tell your children yourself. It was tacky. I'm sure, in the grand scheme of things, people have done tackier and with less reason, but that doesn't always take the sting out. In the end, though, you will be the one to offer your kids the comfort they need, even if you didn't tell them in a way they deserved to be told.

I can't offer you any advice, I can only offer you :grouphug: I know how much you need 'em, because I am even further behind you on this same journey. DS is 8, has many of the issues your DD has, and we are still in the "waiting for further testing" phase. Getting an NP like yours is my worst fear. I have spoken to him on the phone and he seemed okay, I hope that is true. Like you, I've really had to come around to admitting to myself that DS is special needs. He doesn't have physical handicaps, unless being small is considered a handicap LOL, so I've always snowed myself into believing there wasn't an issue. I'd never even considered that I might have a SN child, now I'm realizing I have 2 (ODS, as well.) I hope that doesn't sound pretentious....I don't mean that in a snotty way at all. It just never dawned on me, and then, when it did, it was like "Why WOULDN'T that have been a possibility?" I felt like there had been this elephant in the room with me for years and I'd gotten reeealllly good at blocking it out, only to turn around and find it staring at me. :iagree:That has been one of the hardest parts of all this. So many people on WTM HS because their child isn't challenged *enough*. When you HS because you need to go even slower than an average, much less gifted, child, those posts can hurt so much. I have a friend IRL who has two gifted kids. Not even *just* gifted, they are *highly* gifted. They truly are exceptional kids. She and I are equally intelligent, equally devoted to our kids....sometimes I just think "Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I ruin my kids somehow?" She brags on her kids, she should because they deserve it, but sometimes I have to withdraw from that. It's hard to hear that her 6 year old is reading on a second grade level, when my 8 year old can't reliably tell me which letter is which. I won't even tell you what hearing that her 9 year old can intuitively solve higher math problems when my 12 year old has trouble recalling any math skill we haven't done in the last few weeks does to me.... It isn't her fault and I don't want to hurt her feelings so sometimes I have to just block that out, take a break and check out of our friendship for a bit. I need to forget the bar that her kids set, and be pleased with the progress that my own are making without comparing them. I know my boys have strengths, they are just not as easy to see. YDS, for instance, is highly mechanical. It wouldn't surprise me, at all, to see him doing some really technical stuff one day with engines. That is certainly nothing to be scoffed at. It's just that I know NOTHING about it, I will have to heavily outsource to help him with that, where as her kids have the same strengths she does so they "get" her and she "gets" them. She's traveling a highway that has a map, I'm forging my own path through overgrowth :D I'm not afraid to tell you that, every once in a while, I get a bit sad and scared about that. Then I take myself off for a drive without the kids, playing music I wouldn't let them listen to in a bazillion years, and think about something else until I don't want to jump off a bridge. I'm the Scarlett O'Hara of 2012 LOL

I played it and couldn't hear it. Oddly enough, my kids started crying "What is that noise? Oww!!" I tried stopping and starting it and they could tell me when it was on or off, I still couldn't hear it. However, I did get a case of vertigo like feeling. Bizarre. Oh, ETA: I'm 33. I sent it to dh who is 35, I wouldn't be surprised if he heard it. We were outside when I played it, the kids could hear it a good 20 fr from my phone lol