In a big family... (outside activities)

[I.Dup.]

Starting up outside activities is something we have not consistently done yet. Frankly, it would be somewhat hellish for me, or that is what I am expecting. With the cost and the logistics of figuring out how to shuttle all the kids around, I have not been looking forward to it. But, my kids are getting a bit older so it's time to re-think this.

 

In a family our size (and possibly growing at some point), do you think outside activities would be really beneficial or needed? Or is growing up around a bunch of siblings enough? :tongue_smilie:I DON'T necessarily want to sign them up for activities just "for the heck of it" or just because "it would be fun for them." KWIM? I'm really trying to think through how beneficial they would be in the long run because I know once we start, it will be hard to go back.

 

I have it pretty much narrowed down to swim team or karate. Thoughts?

[amy g.]

I only have 5 children, but outside activities take up a huge chunk of my time.

 

We have weekly piano lessons, swimteam 5 days a week, boy scouts, art classes once a week, private math tutoring, writing class, speech and debate, community college classes, Spanish class......fortunately, ds dropped band a few months ago.

 

I would love to just stay home all week, but my kids thrive on this insane schedule.

[I.Dup.]

WHOA. How do you keep that up??

[maddykate]

No activities here. We are very active as a family and do many projects together that keep us busy and involved in the community. We are very comfortable with our choice. When my kids were the ages of yours, we didn't do any activities outside of going to the park, library, shopping, etc.

[Jennifer in MI]

I only have 5 children, but outside activities take up a huge chunk of my time.

 

We have weekly piano lessons, swimteam 5 days a week, boy scouts, art classes once a week, private math tutoring, writing class, speech and debate, community college classes, Spanish class......fortunately, ds dropped band a few months ago.

 

I would love to just stay home all week, but my kids thrive on this insane schedule.

 

:iagree: We have karate, baseball, gymnastics, piano, work, violin, Community College classes, Boy Scouts, etc. We have something every day of the week. We depend on others for help with rides and my kids walk.

 

With a big family, if I were you, I'd think about joining something that all the kids could join eventually. Something close to home. My kids' karate classes are all a mile from the house. All of them take it. Makes it VERY easy! Piano lessons are a block down. I don't ahve to think about it! Just send the kid out the door. Easy peasy!

 

Now that my kids are older and a couple are in a more competitive league in baseball than just LIttle League (again, one mile away!), we have to drive a bit. But, that's where good neighbors/teammates help out a lot!

 

I would prefer to have dinner at home every night iwth the family. But, my kids really thrive with all their activities. So, we do it.

 

ETA: I'm thinking about this some more and realized that I was a VERY active kid. I was involved very early in sports and other activities. I wonder if that plays into my decision to allow my kids to do all their different activities. If you look at each of my kids individually, you wouldn't think they are over-involved (or maybe you would, I don't know. I don't think so), but with all of them total, it's overwhelming at times. We take it one day at a time!

Edited April 29, 2012 by Jennifer in MI

[happyhomemaker25]

We do Upward sports one practice night and game on Sat. It is only about 8 weeks and they try to work with you on what practice night is best.

My boys are in karate at our church once a week and my girls do American Heritage Girls once a week.

Mostly we keep everything to Tuesday and Thursday nights. Those are our crockpot nights. :D

It can get a little crazy but everything is over in the summer. We do very little outside of the home in the summer.

We do it because the kids enjoy it and we can make connections in our community with other families.

We've had seasons of not doing stuff and those were fine as well. I don't think you have to have outside activities, but they can bring enrichment to your lives.

[nova147]

We do gymnastics (DD4), martial arts (DS7), boy scouts, and religious Ed. And I feel like we're always running! When DD2 turns 3, we'll let her try gymnastics or dance at the gymnastics gym, so we can schedule classes for both girls on the same day. When the girls are old enough, they will probably do scouts. (we aren't against martial arts for girls, but D4 isn't interested and they can't start until 4 anyway.)

 

But, I don't see it as needed - they get plenty of play time together and with other kids. They must like it, so we try to make it work.

[Pretty in Pink]

I do think it's important for children to have outside interactions and friendships, particularly as they approach adolescence and beyond. Some children need more of that than others and from a younger age, so while I don't necessarily think that it's vital for your 7yo, I do think it would be both beneficial and enjoyable to your eldest child. Your younger ones might also enjoy participating in and benefit from some outside activities.

 

My children have enjoyed baseball, soccer, tae kwon do, gymnastics, swim lessons, art class, band, boy scouts, various academic clubs, youth activities at church, park days, story hour, homeschool PE class...not all at the same time, of course. Those activities have never consumed our schedules but they have been fun little extras that my children have greatly benefited from. My three oldest boys currently participate in three activities each.

[I.Dup.]

e been fun little extras that my children have greatly benefited from. My three oldest boys currently participate in three activities each.

 

If you don't mind sharing, what activities are they in and how do you swing this financially and time-wise?

[Pamela H in Texas]

All four are doing the same sports at the same times. They are doing gymnastics and swimming. There are a few benefits which I'm sure there are lists of online. These ones have some additional benefits. They have SET times. With softball, for example, you have to be able to be available at different times a few times per week, never the same week to week. That just won't work with our other commitments and needs. Swimming is at a set time every week unless they have a makeup lesson which we can use whenever works for us.

 

Martial arts = We do not do them any longer for religious reasons; but were very big in them for a time. There is no way we could do them to the degree we used to with our family the way it is now.

 

ETA: we do not have a day we're not going or having people (therapists) to the house though. With religious commitments, multiple kinds of therapies, sports for all....we are busy. And now I have some people (V and A to be exact) saying I'm not giving them enough "homework." I do expect we'll do formal music lessons in the future.

Edited April 30, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[saraha]

I have 6 kids. We do boy and girl scouts (both on same night) piano lessons and music theory (same day, same teacher- takes up about 3 hours of one day) and Upward basketball and cheerleading during the winter. Upward is the only one that begins to take up some time, there are practices on Mon. for the older kids, practice on Tues for the younger kids, games Fri older, games Sat for youngers but this only goes on for about 12 weeks and all of the games and practices are at the same gym, so no travel. We chose these activities for several reasons.

We wanted all of our children to have some sort of music experience- they choose the instrument (piano teacher is a former ps band teacher) or music theory. We chose scouts because they reinforce our family principles (community service, learning new skills, camp and outdoors) and the cheerleading/basketball because they saw an announcement in the paper and because of the noncompetitive nature and only one practice night a week and all games local we agreed to try it. It also gives them an outlet for exercise during the winter. We decided not to do martial arts or gymnastics after some thought because it doens't have a natural end time. We also attend Sunday school and service with other families.

If anyone ever shows and interest in something else, we have tried day camps in the summer. For example, last summer my daughter wanted to try guitar, so we signed her up at the communty college for a week long day camp with a friend of hers. She had fun, but decided not to pursue guitar.

Hope that helps

[Lisbeth]

I honestly think with no outside enrichments, you may be putting them considerably behind others, who go too far and are overscheduled. I really believe in outside enrichment to help each child find something he or she can be passionate about, without overdoing it. I have "only" 4 kids, but it can still be a big challenge with working pt and hsing with rigor. I just make it happen.

[JFSinIL]

I have four kids. Only ONE wanted to do a sport (martial arts), thank goodness!

Two others dabbled in a few years of Scouts. That was about it.

[I.Dup.]

I honestly think with no outside enrichments, you may be putting them considerably behind others, who go too far and are overscheduled. I really believe in outside enrichment to help each child find something he or she can be passionate about, without overdoing it. I have "only" 4 kids, but it can still be a big challenge with working pt and hsing with rigor. I just make it happen.

 

Right. I am planning on getting them into something, I am mulling over how to go about doing it and that is why I asked. :001_smile: It just hasn't been possible until now, with having a baby each year and pre-term/bedrest issues during my pregnancies. I figure giving them life has been more important than "keeping up with the Joneses'" so far. :tongue_smilie:

[I.Dup.]

I have four kids. Only ONE wanted to do a sport (martial arts), thank goodness!

 

Nice!

 

Mine have been very content and thriving at home, but I am noticing my boys are needing more outlets for their energy and since we don't have a lot of land and we are not the farming type, I am needing to find more and more outlets for their energy! Ugh!

[J-rap]

We didn't do outside activities "just for the heck of it," but only when they were old enough to really have an interest in something. Even then, it was easier for us because so much of what they did was within walking or bike-riding distance. Their piano lessons were 1 block away (so they walked), swim club was about 1 mile away (so when the weather was nice, they could ride their bikes), and even their part-time jobs were and continue to be only 8 blocks away, and they often just walk.

 

Also, we tried to lump as much together as we could (that is, several kids in the same activity). For example, we didn't do girls scouts and boy scouts where they were grouped into different ages and different genders, but did 4H instead. In 4H, all children of all ages go to the same club at the same time. They all did community theater together for many summers (also within walking distance, about 4 blocks away).

 

They did get a lot out of these activities, but I probably would have waited even longer if these activities weren't so easy for them to get to. They also had a lot of fun just staying home together, especially when they were younger.

[PeacefulChaos]

Well, it all just depends.

Our family is smaller - we have 3 kids. I let each kid pick an extracurricular for summer, fall, and spring. DD will be starting her first extracurriculars this summer with swimming.

For me, it's important. I like for them to be a part of something that they are interested and they chose. Right now DS8 just finished up some swimming lessons and DS6 is in the middle of soccer season. In the fall DS8 tried karate. They are all doing swimming in the summer (or sooner - just whenever the lady who we do lessons with offers them next). I also think that some experience on a sports team, if they have interest in it, is a valuable experience. DS8 may go back to a team sport at some point - he still says regularly that he wants to do soccer again in the fall (he did soccer for several seasons before taking time off starting last spring).

[coffeegal]

We have light outside activities. Park day once a week that now includes teens my kids have grown up with. Sporadic swimming lessons to ensure the kids can swim well enough to be reasonably safe. The kids also are making friends at the church we're now attending. A friend has a once a month nature ramble that we're planning on attending now that the toddlers are old enough to ramble. I'm happy with our level and choice of outside activities. The children have been able to make friends, and my teens are happy with their social life. We've also had enough down time that my older children are aware of their interests and skills and have a good idea of what area of study they want to pursue as adults.

[Mimm]

I grew up in a large family and we almost never got to participate in outside activities. It was a big reason for me wanting a smaller family. More siblings isn't a replacement for all the things you don't get because you are in a big family.

[Iamblessed]

I,too am stuggling with this somewhat as well. My oldest two have found some outside activities through church and friends and the younger ones want swimming lessons. Except my 10yo who had a bad experience once and just doesn't want to go :( I'm trying to encourage him to try it out with his 7yo brother. I just get tired from a lot of running around and feel like I can't accomplish much at home especially with my hubby working long hours and not being able to help with the carting around! My oldest takes guitar lessons but her teacher comes to our house which is a real blessing. As we can afford to get instruments I hope to have each child learn to play an instrument of their choice. Music in the home is Wonderful! Sorry about the rambling-going on a little sleep :)

[3browneyedboys4me]

Nice!

 

Mine have been very content and thriving at home, but I am noticing my boys are needing more outlets for their energy and since we don't have a lot of land and we are not the farming type, I am needing to find more and more outlets for their energy! Ugh!

 

Your kids are still so little. I would only be willing to do something that:

1. Was not a HUGE burden ... I would want something close to home and not a huge financial commitment.

2. I would only consider doing something that a child has an interest in..music? art? sports?

 

 

In your decision, I would consider something that you might can have the two older children do together. You may consider a church activity during the week like Awana or another youth program. When my children were young, they did Awana and enjoyed it.

 

Honestly, you have several YOUNG children that I wouldn't burden yourself too much with running around. Your oldest is still young enough that you will have time to do something. Does he have a special interest?

 

Give yourself some time and don't worry too much. You still have plenty of time. :) Good luck!

[alpidarkomama]

For outside activities, we stick to one-shot things, monthly things, and pickup sports. I'd keel over if we had to run all over the place. We have an urban farm that takes up a good bit of time. The kids have plenty of playdates and social time, just not regular weekly kinds of things. I might do a little of that (whatever they felt strongly drawn to) if we had $ to spend on it, but we just don't so... we play instead! :)

[Carrie12345]

I really hate dealing with outside activities, but they are a very important aspect for MY kids. I live in an area where kids can't just walk out into the yard and find neighbors to play with. Maybe I would feel differently if we did. While I prefer our homeschooling "insulation" to ps "socialization", I still think ONLY being with siblings *all the time* is too much of an extreme for my family.

 

We do try to stagger commitments. I can't have 3 kids doing 3 different sports in one season. Distance makes it a logistic impossibility. Dh has a bit of flexibility with his schedule to make things easier when necessary. When push comes to shove, family comes before activities.

[Haiku]

I know your kids are young but keep in mind that colleges are not looking just at academics these days. Every scholarship/internship/college admissions application my dd17 and I have looked at has a rather small space for academic information and huge spots to fill in your community involvement/outside activities information. Colleges are no longer interested in those who just have good grades/scores.

 

I only have three kids, but they are all involved in a variety of activities. It's hectic for me and I don't always love it. I would be "happier" staying home in the evenings, but then again, I didn't have kids for their convenience factor ;) and, imo, my kids deserve to pursue their interests and have fun even if I would rather just stay home. (I also work part-time, so I am usually busy every day of the week.)

 

Tara

 

ETA: I have two friends who each have seven children. One family makes sure their kids get to choose activities that interest them and be involved in things outside the home. One family doesn't and says it's due to the logistics of having seven kids. One set of kids is a lot happier, at least from an outside perspective.

Edited April 30, 2012 by TaraTheLiberator

[Joyofsixreboot]

It's a big time suck and it's even more challenging with littles. That said I do let my kids do things. I found when they were young I could often get them on the same team or into things that met one after another. That kept the driving to a minimum. I don't know that it is crucial at 5 and 7 to be in activities but I have found in our area that organized activities have benefited my say 3rd graders on up. Kids don't just go play at the park or around here like they did when I was a kid. It seems most kids spend all day at school, take a bus to daycare and spend their evenings at activities. That doesn't leave much time to just play with other kids.

[mom2scouts]

I only have 5 children, but mine have always been involved in a variety of activities. I think it's important to let them try things to see what they enjoy. We have Boy Scouts, Cub scouts, dance (including competition), gymnastics, soccer, marching band, youth group, Venturing, basketball, zoo programs, church activities and they have tried a variety of other things. We don't have many neighborhood kids to play with and my kids seem to thrive on activity.

[2squared]

I have a similar aged family, and until this year we were regular homebodies. This year my 4th grader was in dance all year as well as volleyball and basketball during the respective seasons. Her coaches demanded a lot of her, and she delivered far more effort and determination for them than she delivers for me. I was quite impressed with her and amazed at how she matured as a result of the activities. I have selected random activities for her in the past, activities which fit my needs for carting around a large, young family, and those activities weren't worth the effort we put into them.

 

My 2nd grader wrestled this year, and that was another amazing experience. He had great coaches, and he worked really, really hard. We are committed to that sport as well now.

 

FWIW, my experience is that activities which ignite your child's interest pay huge dividends. They are worth the effort. My dh helps a lot with transporting the kids, and often we find our family going in three different directions (oldest daughter, oldest boy(s), and littlest). Dh & I split up children, with him taking a group, me taking a group, and either babysitters or other parents taking the last group. It gets crazy at times, but we have really bonded as a family and seen our kids grow a lot.

Edited April 30, 2012 by 2squared

[oraetstudia]

We don't do a lot of outside activities, which I feel guilty about. My kids do some things though. They all go to religious education on Sundays. My oldest particpates once a week in a group for Catholic boys in junior high and high school, which does both faith stuff and things like camping and physical activities. He also serves as an altar server frequently.

 

My girls do a Catholic girls club some what like Girl Scouts with meetings once a month.

 

Two of my kids did a chess club once a week until that ended last week. My oldest two also take piano lessons, but we found a teacher who would come to our house. We have benefit there of living in a city full of musicians.

 

This summer I would like to have the oldest kids take swimming, but I'm expecting a new baby in July, so I'm not sure if I can manage it.

 

I'd like to have my kids do other things, but I'm also unwilling to give up my nights and weekends to a constant steam of sports.

[CanaryMelody]

I only have 4 children, and 3 of them are still young. Our policy is 1 activity per child (unless they are seasonal, then two). Our reasons are time, expense, and how hard it is to haul 2 ACTIVE boys around. Church is not considered an "outside" activity.

 

My oldest DD has participated in soccer, choir, piano, violin, and horseback riding. Horseback is the only activity she has continued (going on 5 years).

 

My youngest DD has so far done dance (ballet/tap/jazz combo class), piano, and horseback. Dance runs from September to mid-June. Horseback runs from June-ish to September. She has taken ballet and piano at the same time because the expense equaled that of her sister's horseback riding and it worked out within our schedule.

 

What really worked well was a play group I had at my house when my oldest was 8 and my youngest DD was just born. I wasn't really in any condition to go anywhere so I brought the social outing home. I had a group of girls around the age of DD come for 2 hours once a week. It worked out beautifully for over a year.

 

I hate going anywhere because taking my youngest DS is a royal pain. He is a dare devil and watching him is a full time job. We try to plan activities so that DH can take the girls and I can stay home with the boys. I refuse to let activities run our life. It is tough even with 4 kids. I don't sweat it too much when they are young, though. :001_smile:

[mommymilkies]

I have 5 kids. 3 have softball, 1 has baseball, 3 have soccer, 2 have Aikido, 3 have piano, 3 have gymnastics on off seasons for sports...it's total insanity. I don't do it because I "have" to, but because it makes them happy and they are very sporty & musical kids. :)

[ChristineW]

I grew up in a large family and we almost never got to participate in outside activities. It was a big reason for me wanting a smaller family. More siblings isn't a replacement for all the things you don't get because you are in a big family.

 

:iagree:Even with #4 on the way, I am committed to helping my children find their passion and supporting it. My 6 year old is in Little League and takes a few classes at our gym (TKD and gymnastics); my 5 year old has tried gymnastics and dance but didn't really care for it; she did love the musical theatre camp she did at spring break so we'll probably focus on drama and music as long as its what she loves. The 3 year old does a music and movement class through our gym and its the highlight of her week.

 

Have you looked at the Y? The older two had classes there before we moved and they were reasonably priced. I also was able to put them in childcare and work out after class .

[Pink Fairy]

We have karate, music lessons, chess club, and dance, plus occupational therapy. It's a full schedule, but the music lessons are in our home, the dance studio is about a mile away, and my dh does karate with the boys so I don't have to drive.

 

The only thing that's a pain is the OT, because it's an hour away. We use a charter school to pay for most of the lessons. Less than $100/month out of pocket for everything.

 

We couldn't do everything if it hadn't worked out just right.

 

Good luck!

[scrappyhappymama]

We have four boys and another on the way. We do what I would consider to be a lot of outside activities.

 

The two oldest are in cub scouts. The oldest is currently in baseball and the next two are in soccer. My oldest is in a homeschool choir class once a week. My second son takes piano. We try to hit at least one park day or playdate a week with homeschooled friends. We usually participate in a homeschool co-op once a week for a few hours. So, we are out of the house nearly every day and spend most weekday evenings at practices/games/meetings, and most Saturdays have games.

 

It's definitely a hectic schedule, but my boys seem to enjoy themselves a lot. We do try to pick and choose activities they are particularly interested in, as well as ones that we get the most economic bang for our buck, as well as ones that give us a break periodically. So, for example, we choose sports leagues that last a few months and have a one-time fee rather than ongoing sports classes like gymnastics or martial arts that we'd have to pay for monthly and that don't offer a long break in summer or for the holidays. This has been the best way for us to manage outside activities with multiple children and knowing it will only get more hectic as time goes on and we have more children of activity age. Our homeschool co-op is a casual in-home one, with only supplies fees, rather than one of the more organized ones with much higher fees. Park days are free of course. Cub Scouts is relatively inexpensive for all the activities it provides for the boys. The one recurring fee we pay is for piano for one son. I'd love to have all the boys in formal music lessons, but it's definitely cost prohibitive, so instead we do it for the one who shows the most interest/aptitude. My son in choir is learning to read music through that class and is teaching himself to play piano. :)

 

I think the other thing that makes this all workable is that we have a few bus seasons of the year and then a few quieter ones. During summer and winter, we don't do organized sports and the scouting and homeschool activities slow as well. So we get a breather and a chance to get lots of homeschooling done during these times, so I don't feel so bad when we need to take days off during the spring and fall on particularly busy days. So that's our plan, which works for our family. Of course we revise it as we go as needed. :)

[chiguirre]

I have it pretty much narrowed down to swim team or karate. Thoughts?

 

Karate, hands down. It costs more, but you don't have to volunteer at meets, you don't have to travel to meets and you don't have to deal with morning practice when they're older.

[KungFuPanda]

I grew up in a large family and we almost never got to participate in outside activities. It was a big reason for me wanting a smaller family. More siblings isn't a replacement for all the things you don't get because you are in a big family.

 

:iagree:

 

I'd let your daughter try something girly if she wants to. She may need a break from all of the testosterone in the house. Maybe, in order to keep it fair and yourself sane, you can make a family rule that they can try something when they are 9 (or whatever age works for you).

 

Also, your kids will grow up quickly. I thought homeschooling elementary children was A LOT easier than caring for the preschool and younger ages. For me, driving to a nearby activity was LOADS easier than trying to cook with an unhappy toddler hanging on my leg.

[2squared]

I'd like to have my kids do other things, but I'm also unwilling to give up my nights and weekends to a constant steam of sports.

 

This was my fear as well. Our year has been busy, but the sports events have been very rewarding for the whole family. It has given us something to bond about, talk about, and plan toward. My dh has gone to all the wrestling practices and has taken the boys to tournaments nearly every weekend during the season. It has really made them closer. I traveled with my oldest dd to her basketball tournaments, and it was equally fun and worthwhile for us. Dh & I have even converted our date nights to sports watching events. The chosen kid loves having mom & dad focusing on just them and their sport for an evening.

[jennsmile]

I have 4 kids so far. We do cubsouts with our oldest. And a church activity every other week. In a year another child will join in on both. We live 30 minutes from anywhere so with gas price and time we limit outside activities. Last year we did tball and baseball through the Y one night a week. Had the awesome coach we had stayed I would have done it again but he moved so I wasn't as motivated to sign them up this year.

 

I realize as they get older they will do more. For use Scouts though our church is the big thing, I want all my boys to earn their eagle. Other than that I will watch their interests but sometimes the costs and time outweigh my ability to provide and that is okay.

 

We did coop for 3 years and I am enjoying not running to town for it now.

[6packofun]

I'm curious what everyone's older kids/teens do as well. Upwards sports goes through 6th grade and after that age group, we have a very hard time finding anything for our teens! If your school district doesn't allow homeschoolers to participate, it's very difficult to get them involved in much outside activity. We do a lot of volunteering, though!

 

Honestly, I wonder where the time is for actual SCHOOL when I read the schedules of some families. On one hand I wish my kids could get more activities on their transcripts, but on the other I don't know how we'd fit it all in.

[Rebecca]

We do "delayed" activities at our house. I feel that they are very important for developing my soon-to be teens and teenagers and building their futures (aka college and other pursuits).

 

It is important to me to build their futures.

 

We start slowly.

 

When they turn 9- a once a month 4 H activity.

 

You might want to see what 4 H has available in your area. In our area, there are lots of opportunities.

 

Now my oldest son is 12 and he has expressed interest in Boy Scouts and particularly- earning the Eagle Scout- so we are looking into this.

 

 

My children also start piano (which I am also blessed to have taught in our home) once they are reading very fluently. Next year, I will have four taking piano ages 12-8.

 

We do not participate in Sports. A major reason is the way it would stress our family and exhaust me the mom. We do require regular exercise included in the homeschool schedule once a child turns 12. We just got an erg (rowing machine) for this purpose.

 

We also participate somewhat sporadically in a homeschool CO-OP. This would be the first thing I would drop when stressed. It is not a highly academic one and the age group is not the best fit for my family.

 

I keep my youngers home and with me. I feel it the best for them and for our family.

 

Rebecca

[I.Dup.]

Your kids are still so little. I would only be willing to do something that:

1. Was not a HUGE burden ... I would want something close to home and not a huge financial commitment.

2. I would only consider doing something that a child has an interest in..music? art? sports?

 

 

In your decision, I would consider something that you might can have the two older children do together. You may consider a church activity during the week like Awana or another youth program. When my children were young, they did Awana and enjoyed it.

 

Honestly, you have several YOUNG children that I wouldn't burden yourself too much with running around. Your oldest is still young enough that you will have time to do something. Does he have a special interest?

 

Give yourself some time and don't worry too much. You still have plenty of time. :) Good luck!

 

Thank you so much for your kind encouragement :)

 

I have a similar aged family, and until this year we were regular homebodies. This year my 4th grader was in dance all year as well as volleyball and basketball during the respective seasons. Her coaches demanded a lot of her, and she delivered far more effort and determination for them than she delivers for me. I was quite impressed with her and amazed at how she matured as a result of the activities. I have selected random activities for her in the past, activities which fit my needs for carting around a large, young family, and those activities weren't worth the effort we put into them.

 

My 2nd grader wrestled this year, and that was another amazing experience. He had great coaches, and he worked really, really hard. We are committed to that sport as well now.

 

FWIW, my experience is that activities which ignite your child's interest pay huge dividends. They are worth the effort. My dh helps a lot with transporting the kids, and often we find our family going in three different directions (oldest daughter, oldest boy(s), and littlest). Dh & I split up children, with him taking a group, me taking a group, and either babysitters or other parents taking the last group. It gets crazy at times, but we have really bonded as a family and seen our kids grow a lot.

 

You brought up some great points, and exactly what I am hoping for by getting involved in more activities. I hope it goes well.

 

I'd like to have my kids do other things, but I'm also unwilling to give up my nights and weekends to a constant steam of sports.

 

Yes, this is how we've felt. Dh and I aren't athletic people and have never really enjoyed sports, so why would our evenings and weekends from now to infinity center around sports?? However, he did karate throughout high school and really loved it so it's pretty much guaranteed that our boys will do that at some point. I think we are just going to narrow it down to 1 or 2 activities, instead of an entire banquet.

 

I'm curious what everyone's older kids/teens do as well. Upwards sports goes through 6th grade and after that age group, we have a very hard time finding anything for our teens! If your school district doesn't allow homeschoolers to participate, it's very difficult to get them involved in much outside activity. We do a lot of volunteering, though!

 

Honestly, I wonder where the time is for actual SCHOOL when I read the schedules of some families. On one hand I wish my kids could get more activities on their transcripts, but on the other I don't know how we'd fit it all in.

 

I wonder that too. Obviously none of us had kids for convenience but I'm still reluctant to give up every spare minute for outside activities. I'm sure it wouldn't be THAT drastic though, and it helps knowing that it can be a positive for the parents and the entire family as a whole, as well. :)

 

Thanks everyone for answering!

[LibraryLover]

Our reality is that as our children got older, their passions could not be put aside. They needed more than Dh or I alone could manage. As long as children have opportunity to experience various activities on a less costly town/ county arena, they can figure out their loves and talents.

 

Then you go from there. (it will not be cheap! ;))

 

I will not say the passions are not costly, but at least you find help finding those activities in which a child excels. It makes it easier to decide.

 

We are all over the map, and none of the interests are those with which I felt prepared. Kids challenge you, make you rethink all of your earlier desires/assumptions.

[2squared]

Dh and I aren't athletic people and have never really enjoyed sports, so why would our evenings and weekends from now to infinity center around sports??

 

Maybe because your dc may enjoy athletics? Supporting and cheering your dc is an entirely different experience than participating yourself.

 

Last night our family sat outside around a bonfire. Big fun, awesome family time. Sitting at a wrestling match cheering my sons is just as much bonding and fun, just in a different way. Both events create memories and build a family identity.

[Kelly1730]

All of our older sons and daughter played sports, some community, some for school. By the time my daughter was in high school (Christian) she was playing field hockey, soccer and did the school play every year. I think it burned me out. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, was "mandatory". A coach's favorite word, I'm thinking.

 

They had practices and meetings and dinners etc. It was all "mandatory". I hated it, I hated being told what to do and when and where and how long I had to attend something even if it put a hardship on our family either through time or resources. It's the rebellious homeschooler in me:tongue_smilie:

 

Our youngest sons are now 10 and so far we do piano lessons, kid's program at church on Wednesday nights and a twice a month co-op. In the summer we go to park days several times a month. That's it. I like to expose them to different activites (basketball, ice skating etc.) but so far they haven't asked to do anything extra and I'm inclined to wait until they want to do something rather than me just signing them up for it.

 

We like to encourage the boys to do service oriented projects through church or just as a family. That gets them involved in something and gives them a purpose as well as being productive. Just a suggestion for those who are not necessarily "organized sports-minded".

[momma2three]

I don't think activities are important "just for the heck of it," I think they're important because they teach things that I can't teach at home, and which their siblings can't teach at home.

 

My kids already do or will when they are old enough take: swimming, because I think that's a necessary life skill; Spanish, because it's important to start a 2nd language young and I think it's essential to learn from a native speaker; dance, because it teaches discipline and bodily control; piano, because I think it's good to know how to play an instrument and how to read music (things I personally don't know); and the seasonal sports leagues offered by the town, because I think team sports are a good experience.

 

My oldest also takes yoga, and my two oldest both do MyGym, and admittedly those are just for the heck of it. The timing was right, and some of their friends are taking them.

 

I didn't do many extracurriculars when I was a child, because my parents didn't have much money then, and I definitely felt left out and like I don't have many of the experiences and knowledge that many people in my peer group have.

[Embassy]

I didn't do many extracurriculars when I was a child, because my parents didn't have much money then, and I definitely felt left out and like I don't have many of the experiences and knowledge that many people in my peer group have.

 

I think it can depend on the child. I didn't do many extracurriculars as a child and didn't feel left out at all. I don't find those childhood activities that I missed to make me less knowledgeable than my peer group. Instead of doing activities I spent time pursing my own interests. Those added to my life far more than activities would have, imho.

 

I think pursing activities that your child is passionate in pursing is worthwhile, but the standard driving your kids around to activity after activity is a recent phenomenon.

[BMW]

I didn't see it mentioned here, so thought I'd add it into the discussion to give food for thought...

 

Tennis.

 

It's a lifetime sport and you can play as a family, together, over the years!

 

USTA has some great summer tennis programs that run about 45 min. per session a few times a week (programs may vary) and I've never seem them at too high a price. They are fun and kids learn to play together and develop their skills and then progress to the "game". I loved it because I could play with my younger ones while the older ones were on court... and it was so much fun to pack snacks and head to the courts. I miss those days!!!!!!

[Murphy101]

We rarely do activities under age 10.

 

However that still leaves 6 over age 10 who have outside activities.

 

5 play different instruments, of which only 2 share a class.

1 works outside the home, has Spanish and ballroom dance lessons.

2 are in Civil Air Patrol

 

Next year I'm adding about 4 more things to our outside activities.

[Sarah CB]

Starting up outside activities is something we have not consistently done yet. Frankly, it would be somewhat hellish for me, or that is what I am expecting. With the cost and the logistics of figuring out how to shuttle all the kids around, I have not been looking forward to it. But, my kids are getting a bit older so it's time to re-think this.

 

In a family our size (and possibly growing at some point), do you think outside activities would be really beneficial or needed? Or is growing up around a bunch of siblings enough? :tongue_smilie:I DON'T necessarily want to sign them up for activities just "for the heck of it" or just because "it would be fun for them." KWIM? I'm really trying to think through how beneficial they would be in the long run because I know once we start, it will be hard to go back.

 

I have it pretty much narrowed down to swim team or karate. Thoughts?

 

I think having an activity that everyone is involved in cuts down on the craziness. All four of my kids are in Taekwon-do. Their classes are on the same days and near the same times. When we go to a tournament it's the entire family. Our dojang doesn't charge after the third child so our fourth goes free.

 

I think it's really smart that you're looking at activities that all of the kids could be involved in instead of different activities for each kids or crazy things like soccer where you could be going to three different games in different locations on one weekend.

[NancyNellen]

In our family all children 6 years of age and up take piano lessons. I found a teacher willing to come to our home every week for a reduced rate since I have 4 kids taking lessons (soon to be 5).

 

As far as outside-the-home activities, our family policy is that you can choose an activity when you turn 10. I am not a big proponent of pushing tons of activities on small children, and quiet time at home with regular mealtime is very important to us. My oldest does Young Marines, which almost always meets on weekends, my 13 year old takes voice lessons at the same place and time as my son's chemistry class, and my 11 year old does horseback riding 5 minutes up the street.