Update on my friend situation

[Desert Rat]

:iagree: I am so sorry, Kristin.Her comments were low and petty. In my opinion, people start making personal judgements and petty jibes when they can't argue their point correctly.

I'm sad that this may be your only friend. What a friend! I wish you lived closer. I'd be your friend.

FWIW, I think you're right to send the CD. It's what I would do also. It really isn't about her. It's about a dying woman and her daughter. You're doing the good thing which is even more important than being right.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Yes....the CD would be for "Molly". "Friend" actually only wanted the CD to give to Nut Job. She didn't want it for herself.

[elegantlion]

 

As for the business end of it...I'm so angry on your behalf. I've been self-employed for several years, and I know what it's like to get charity/discount/donation spiel again and again. "Oh, this is for a church/sick person/school, so we should get a discount or you should donate it." Why? Not to be insensitive, but if this were really true, funeral homes would have to give away *all* of their business.

 

People just do not understand the time and money that is put in to being self employed, especially when you have a service business, and especially when your job is something that you enjoy. If you enjoy doing it, why not do it for free? Um, because you need to make a living! You have to pay for your equipment, taxes, utilities, etc, etc. You do not get a regular paycheck every week.

 

 

More :grouphug:, and you are better off without this "friend."

 

Preach it!!!....Amen!

[HappyCrazyMama]

Yes....the CD would be for "Molly". "Friend" actually only wanted the CD to give to Nut Job. She didn't want it for herself.

Can you give it to Molly directly?

 

ETA - or NJ? Maybe I'm getting people mixed up but eliminate friend as the middle man, KWIM?

Edited March 1, 2012 by Happyhomemama

[Coffeetime]

Yes....the CD would be for "Molly". "Friend" actually only wanted the CD to give to Nut Job. She didn't want it for herself.

 

Can you get NJ's address and send it directly to her, as a gift? After all, you are now the one gifting the photos, not "Friend".

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I don't know how to get ahold of either of them without going through "friend".

[Word Nerd]

Can you get NJ's address and send it directly to her, as a gift? After all, you are now the one gifting the photos, not "Friend".

 

:iagree: i would leave the "friend" out of it at this point.

[HappyCrazyMama]

I don't know how to get ahold of either of them without going through "friend".

Bummer. Well you're a bigger person than I.:grouphug:

[Remudamom]

I'm not going through all the responses but I'd kiss that friendship good bye. What is her problem? Sounds like she's got issues and is trying to pile them on you.

[*********]

Kristin, I just; that's just; ok, I don't have the right words. Or the appropriate words.

 

As others have said, and as you have I'm sure figured out on your own, this woman is not, and likely never was, your friend.

 

I had an experience a few years ago with a lady I thought was a very close friend. She completely betrayed my trust. I was so hurt by the whole thing that I still have a hard time really trusting my good girlfriends.

 

Your hair? REALLY?! Who doesn't do the 'I was too busy to shower' ponytail sometimes?! And WHO CARES?! I had a good girlfriend notice once that I showed up to park day in sweats, wearing a ponytail. The only reason she noticed was 'cause I usually wore a skirt and headcovering. :tongue_smilie: She asked if I was ok. I explained I had PMS, and this was the best I could do that day. We both chuckled. THAT'S how friends treat one another.

 

And fwiw, my boys share a room. They're 6 and 8. They clean it by themselves almost all the time.

 

Like pp's have said, I think your photos are beautiful. And I know I don't know you in 'real life'. But what I do know is I wish we lived close so we could be IRL friends.

 

This lady is losing out. I know you've lost what you thought was a good friend. But really, she's the one losing here.

 

You all are so wonderful. My head is pounding. I think I've cried all the tears I can cry in the last 4hr.

 

I think I need to send/give her the CD....for ME. I know if she had approached me about it as a charity venture we would partner in, I would've done it. This isn't about me, or her. It's about her SDD.

 

I'm curious how old the stepdaughter is. Perhaps you could send the cd directly to her, since it's really for her anyway. Or maybe you have a way of getting 'NutJob's' address, and sending the cd to her. If you really need to give the cd, and can really only give it to your 'friend', you REALLY should just use a cheap cd and case. There's no WAY I'd send a $40 cd/case at this point. Spend $2 or $3 and be done with it, but ONY if you feel like you really have to.

 

You poor thing. :grouphug: That lady is; nevermind. Nothing nice to say.

 

I think you're swell. :D So there. :tongue_smilie:

[Impish]

This conversation was inappropriate. Absolutely inappropriate.

 

She was wrong to describe your friendship in those terms. That is nothing short of mean.

 

She had no business criticizing either your hair or your house or your parenting or whether or not you smile. Those are all issues that are unrelated to the photographs. No matter what the circumstances, those things are NOT things she or anyone else has any business criticizing. I cannot stress enough how completely inappropriate those comments are.

 

Second, you are a professional photographer. She knows this, and she has paid for your services before. If she wanted a donation, she should have asked for one up front. Do not apologize and do not feel badly for this.

 

And it was mean to criticize the photographs, especially after she had previously raved about them. She is being petty.

 

She threw a temper tantrum, and you are her punching bag on this. I think your friendship is done, and I am really sorry. Truly, really sorry.

 

Don't apologize to her any more. Don't.

:iagree:

 

She is not a friend, and it appears that she has never been a true friend. My opinion is that she's envious of you and is trying to cut you down to make herself feel better about her own life. And she's angry because she wasn't able to use you and take advantage of you, and get the CD for free. (Do NOT give it to her -- for crying out loud, she even said she didn't like the photos! :angry:)

 

She has no right to make personal judgments about how you keep your house or how you treat your family or how often you style your hair. She was being calculatedly vicious, and I think she is a horrible person.

 

I'm so sorry you had to see her true colors in such a hurtful way, but please write her off completely and pretend you never even took the photos unless she sends you a check for the full amount in the mail.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

:iagree:

I also think she's still trying to take advantage of you emotionally and financially. If you give her the CD I feel sure that in a week or two you'd find that "everything" would suddenly be fine (on her end, mind you; not yours) and she might even offer a half-hearted "apology" because she was "stressed" and surely you understand and how about I treat you to coffee. All because you "agreed" with her about giving away your talent and time for free. :glare:

 

Don't give her the CD or anything else. Either she pays or she doesn't get the photos/CD. You are worth a lot more.

:iagree:

[*********]

I don't know how to get ahold of either of them without going through "friend".

 

You mentioned a weekly breakfast, which you went to this morning. Any chance any of the other ladies would know how to contact 'Molly' or her mom, and give you that info? Or could you pass the CD off to one of them to give to Molly the next time they see her? Just some ideas...

[k2bdeutmeyer]

You mentioned a weekly breakfast, which you went to this morning. Any chance any of the other ladies would know how to contact 'Molly' or her mom, and give you that info?

 

"Molly" is 19 and lives in an apartment on campus with 3 other girls. They would have to ask "friend" for that information though, I'm sure.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Speaking of which....how do I handle these other friends (who I wasn't overly close with, but will surely ask where I'm at next week at breakfast)? One of them is particularly close with "friend" and probably already knows everything. The others are likely clueless and will ask where I am next week when I don't show up.

[MariannNOVA]

:grouphug: In my experience, bitter people tell me I'm bitter, unhappy people tell me I'm unhappy, and thieving roommates accuse me first.

 

Personally, I'd get the money and run.

 

Oh, Kristin, I can understand why you would feel hurt. She is not a good friend at all. I hope that you can find some new healthier friends. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: (And I would not give her the CD.)

 

Kristin: THIS and THIS (again I have only read these two responses, but these are wtm-ers I respect -- ).

 

From my own personal experience, if everything she said was true from her perspective (not necessarily in reality) then you are best to move on. Trust me (again from personal experience) in about 4 mos, you will be over it and glad that the situation is what it is without this person in your life.

 

Ask me how I know. :001_smile:

 

Ask Imp how I know. :glare:

 

I was kicked in the teeth/gobsmacked/blind-sided last October. I was devastated. DH was devastated. It is now, what, 6 mos later. I am so OVER it and so is DH......I am so thankful that this person is not in our lives anymore. We miss her dh and children, but her, no.

 

Grieve, but not too long, and move on with it. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Susan C.]

First I thought give the CD and walk, then no CD so she won't come back. But with NJ dying, maybe a pic or two on the CD, but definitely not the entire shoot. Pick your favorites. :)

 

I've had this happen, and called a true friend. She told me I didn't have time for this type of thing and to move on. I usually beg, try to work things out, etc. but I listened, and it was the right thing to do.

[MariannNOVA]

Speaking of which....how do I handle these other friends (who I wasn't overly close with, but will surely ask where I'm at next week at breakfast)? One of them is particularly close with "friend" and probably already knows everything. The others are likely clueless and will ask where I am next week when I don't show up.

 

Oh, boy, have I been there!

 

You simply don't go to breakfast. Those who wish to contact you will. You will say something like: 'Oh, yes, I won't be going anymore.''

 

And then ask them something to direct the conversation in a different way -- like, 'why don't you and I gt together for coffee? When is a good time for you?'

 

People who contacted me after my little kicking in the teeth contacted me b/c they wanted to be in touch with me and my family and they reached out so I would know they intended for us to continue our friendship despite what the other individual had said about what happened.

 

People typically will know exactly what happened and what was done to you no matter what this woman tells them.

[FaithManor]

"Molly" is 19 and lives in an apartment on campus with 3 other girls. They would have to ask "friend" for that information though, I'm sure.

 

I think it's time to cut off all contact with the woman. To be honest with you, I think that if you gave her the pictures, she'd wallow in the fact that she manipulated you into it and would attempt to "re-friend" you and then try a stunt like that again. I think that for your own sanity and your family (after all this puts a huge burden of stress on you and that's not great for them) you should cut her off. Don't take her calls.

 

As for the breakfast, you'd have to choose to go and make it clear you aren't interested in direct conversation with her, or give it up for a while until she figures out that there is a new boundary.

 

She's definitely not a healthy person! You do not need her in your life and she needs to be made aware of that.

 

As for Molly, if you know the name of the university, you may be able to send it to their central mail office...it could actually end up getting to her since she lives on campus even if you don't have an apt. number.

 

:grouphug: Faith

[helena]

:grouphug: What a rotten day, what a gross way for her to treat you. You seem like a very kind person, I'm sure with a little effort, you can find some ladies who love you irl just the way you are. I say have a good cry, talk to your hubby about it a little too much, then put on I Will Survive, sing loudly, smile, laugh, and dance like a crazy woman. Eventually this cow will become a distant memory.

:grouphug:

 

Not quite the right lyrics, but close enough!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuRgQlfpD0U

[mrbmom77]

On the CD, you really have to do what you feel is right. No advice from me there.

 

I've BTDT with the "charity friendship." I had friends that were a married couple a few years older than me, and I'm a single mom. They constantly gave me unsolicited advice about my parenting, my finances, and anything else that came up, and they always said how much I needed a man in my life. Never mind that my children were several years older than their son, they lived in an apartment owned by her mother and had no control over their finances, and I am perfectly content being single. When I finally quit laughing it off and got annoyed, I was able to look back and see that I was their "charity" project. Somehow being single meant I was lonely, depressed, and incapable of being a good parent. When I walked away, it was a relief. Please don't let this woman treat you this way.

 

BTW, my house needs cleaning, my hair is usually pulled back in a ponytail, and my 12 & 14 year old are responsible for the kitchen, bathroom, and their bedrooms. ;)

 

:grouphug:

[Rosie_0801]

Can you send the cd to Molly, c/o her college campus? Or something like that? There must be a way to find her using a bit of detective work.

 

Rosie

[ma23peas]

Who needs enemies when you have friends like this?:grouphug:

[JennifersLost]

After reading the first post and then this, my first thought is....this isn't about you or the pictures at ALL.

 

This is about money.

 

She got carried away, set something up, and now doesn't want to spend the $. And she's feeling really bad because she wasted your time and isn't going to pay you the money she knows she should pay you. So she's gone on the attack to make it your fault.

 

Walk away. Either at some point she comes to her senses and apologizes in a heartfelt way and you move on....or she doesn't and she wasn't your true friend, anyway.

 

Some people don't know how to be wrong or make a mistake - they can only blame other people. I would do my best to put this all aside, and I wouldn't give her the CD. She can take her camera and snap a few pics if she needs to, you know?

[Scuff]

Ya know, nj's not dead yet. If what she says is true, that the pics suck, she has time to hire someone else and get new ones taken. Perhaps it'd be better to just put the cd in a drawer where it's safe, but you can forget about it. If she pays you, give it to her. If you find it a year from now, you can chose the. To trash it or give it to her. But she doesn't need this charity. The woman is still here to get her pics taken.

[sassenach]

Wow, she's a terrible person.

 

To keep such a list of criticisms of you is weird and creepy. I would never talk to her again. I agree with you about sending the CD. I think it's the easiest way to be done and over with it.

 

As for the other ladies....IDK. If you want to be friends with them, you should. Otherwise, it might just be easier to move on from the whole group.

 

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I read through some of the responses and can't really think of anything more to say than that I'm sorry that this person has taken the insecurities about her own life and her superiority issues out on you. Walk away. Tell her you don't need her kind of charity.

 

What a b*tch.:grouphug::grouphug:

[Vida Winter]

After reading the first post and then this, my first thought is....this isn't about you or the pictures at ALL.

 

This is about money.

 

She got carried away, set something up, and now doesn't want to spend the $. And she's feeling really bad because she wasted your time and isn't going to pay you the money she knows she should pay you. So she's gone on the attack to make it your fault.

 

Walk away. Either at some point she comes to her senses and apologizes in a heartfelt way and you move on....or she doesn't and she wasn't your true friend, anyway.

 

Some people don't know how to be wrong or make a mistake - they can only blame other people. I would do my best to put this all aside, and I wouldn't give her the CD. She can take her camera and snap a few pics if she needs to, you know?

 

:iagree:

[Robin M]

:grouphug: She sounds like a bitter person and because she isn't getting what she wants, is taking it out on you. Personally, she agreed upon the cost at the beginning before you took the pictures. Looking at it from a business standpoint. The prices aren't negotiable after the work is done. No payment - no service, ie no pictures. She is basically destroying your relationship and trying to destroy your confidence along with it in order to get what she wants. The pictures for free. She used you, then thinks by telling you all the stuff you did, you'll feel so bad, you'll give her the pictures. She's trying to guilt you into it. You have to be strong, set boundaries now and put your foot down. I would not give her the cd or any pictures from the shoot. At this point I'd say the relationship is over and I'd have nothing else to do with her.

 

I'm so sorry this has happened. I've been there and learned not to negotiate business prices with friends. It always comes back to bit us in the but afterward. You think you are doing someone a favor and then they want more, then more, then more. It's not worth it.

[Scuff]

Speaking of which....how do I handle these other friends (who I wasn't overly close with, but will surely ask where I'm at next week at breakfast)? One of them is particularly close with "friend" and probably already knows everything. The others are likely clueless and will ask where I am next week when I don't show up.

 

If they contact you, give a brief, but honest account of what happened. (they don't need the gory details, but might benefit from knowing your issues were with friend, not them.) perhaps your friendship will develop outside of friend. Perhaps not. If they don't contact you, don't worry about it.

[treestarfae]

I would just give the poor daughter the cd and join or start a photography club to find peers and friends. That girl is has to deal with her neurotic step mom and lose her Mom. I don't think a couple hundred bucks is worth the situation. Being in the middle of an intense situation and it getting ugly is bad mojo. I would mail it with a nice card and wish them peace.

[helena]

I would just give the poor daughter the cd and join or start a photography club to find peers and friends. That girl is has to deal with her neurotic step mom and lose her Mom. I don't think a couple hundred bucks is worth the situation. Being in the middle of an intense situation and it getting ugly is bad mojo. I would mail it with a nice card and wish them peace.

 

:iagree:

[Word Nerd]

Is Molly on Facebook? You might be able to send her a private message to get her mailing info.

 

Also, I wouldn't assume that everything the friend told you about NJ is necessarily an accurate depiction of reality.

[Guest]

Kristin, :grouphug: Gosh, what a horrible person this "friend" turned out to be!

I had something a little like this happen to me. It was after my baby girl died. She said almost exactly this to me:

 

But, she told me that I was a VERY unhappy person (I'm not - though I definitely have my share of stressed out moments that I felt safe venting to my "friends").

 

She told me how I'm self-absorbed.

 

She told me I was a VERY unhappy person (three months after my baby died). I said, "YES! You're right! I am very unhappy! Duh!" She told me I was self-absorbed and only cared about what was going on in my own life. (Gee - a myopic grief-stricken mother - how odd!:tongue_smilie:)

 

I feel your pain. When that relationship of mine went wrong, I was so incredibly blind-sided, I seriously wondered if I could ever be real with anyone again. She had always been the type to pry and dig to know how I felt about everything, and then she used it as a weapon against me.

 

I'm just very sorry for you. I know how much that hurt me for years after. :grouphug:

[Lara in Colo]

I have someone like this in my life. They push help on you and then get mad when something doesn't go their way (and you never know what that something will be).

 

If it were me, I would send her the CD with a note that all debts (monetary and friendshipwise) are paid in full.

 

And tell her to be happy, you are cured, you aren't taking s**t from ANYONE anymore.

 

Lara

[Robin M]

First of all, :grouphug::grouphug:

 

Second of all, *don't* give her the CD!! She is trying to make your work seem worthless by saying she never really liked the photos. Don't believe her! If you really feel that bad about it *maybe* give it to the step-mom yourself, but I wouldn't give it to your friend, especially not after the conversation you had. No true friend (or even a decent acquaintance) would say the things she said to you. She sounds like a very bitter person.

 

As for the business end of it...I'm so angry on your behalf. I've been self-employed for several years, and I know what it's like to get charity/discount/donation spiel again and again. "Oh, this is for a church/sick person/school, so we should get a discount or you should donate it." Why? Not to be insensitive, but if this were really true, funeral homes would have to give away *all* of their business.

 

People just do not understand the time and money that is put in to being self employed, especially when you have a service business, and especially when your job is something that you enjoy. If you enjoy doing it, why not do it for free? Um, because you need to make a living! You have to pay for your equipment, taxes, utilities, etc, etc. You do not get a regular paycheck every week.

 

Again, the fact that she is (just now) saying that she didn't like the photos leads me to believe that she is still trying to get you to give them to her for free, when she knew darn well from the beginning what your price was. If you give them to her for free, then it is *you* not *her* giving her SD and the SM a gift. *You* are the one that is out the money, time, not to mention stress. What has she done to contribute to this gift? She came up with the idea. That's it.

 

More :grouphug:, and you are better off without this "friend."

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[HappyCrazyMama]

First I thought give the CD and walk, then no CD so she won't come back. But with NJ dying, maybe a pic or two on the CD, but definitely not the entire shoot. Pick your favorites. :)

 

I've had this happen, and called a true friend. She told me I didn't have time for this type of thing and to move on. I usually beg, try to work things out, etc. but I listened, and it was the right thing to do.

If you really feel like you should give her the CD I like this idea, give her some of your favorites.:)

Edited March 1, 2012 by Happyhomemama

[MtnTeaching]

I agree with somehow getting the cd to "Molly". This girl has the very real possibility of losing her mother. These photos will probably mean a lot to her. I say this because I lost my mother when I was young.

 

As far as "friend" goes, she has a very strange way of showing her friendship.

 

If she is so perfect that every hair is ALWAYS in place, dust bunnies dare not lurk under her bed, and she believes she has a right to tell others how to parent their children - I would have a hard time just being around her.

 

Personally, I would tell her that it was time for her to go find herself a new "charity case".

 

:grouphug::grouphug: to you. It is heartbreaking to find that someone you trusted and cared about is not the person you thought they were.

[lulubelle]

Your "friend" just ripped you apart. That is just awful. And, she did it over money. I would wash my hands of her and just let her drop off your radar. Let her find someone else to get pictures for her.

 

And, if others talk about it - just say we had some differences and that is it. Best to let it end completely. Talk to God about it or journal.

 

Hugs to you!

[5kidsforME]

**WARNING: This is going to be long and disjointed.**

 

So breakfast was awkward at best. She wouldn't look at me or speak to me.

 

I called her this afternoon to try to and work things out. The first thing out of my mouth was "I think I upset you yesterday and I'm not sure how to fix it." She said "I'm not sure you can." I asked her exactly what was upsetting her.

 

As I suspected, she felt that she has done a lot for me (she has) and that I should've done this for her (I'm shortening that bit). She said she felt like I was "kicking her in the teeth" and just trying to turn a profit off her.

 

Then, she told me how she'd been upset with me for awhile. I knew that too. I've felt like the 3rd wheel for awhile now. I knew something was up. She said she has a problem with not saying things at the time and instead holding them in and then blowing up and that that was probably part of this.

 

Okay. I said that I didn't know what the "other things" were, but that I could understand her being upset about the current situation. I expressed my gratitude for all the things she HAS done for me and explained why I made the decisions I had made about the CD. I even said that I might have screwed up (I really feel that way). I felt like I had every business voice I had ever heard ringing through my head along with the voice of my husband and the fact that I knew that I have a tendency to let people walk all over me, so I did what I thought was the right (business) thing. I explained that I had offered the discount because I DID feel bad, because she IS such a good friend. And then, I said that maybe it wasn't the right thing to do this time.

 

This is where things get disjointed, because I don't remember how the conversation progressed. But, she told me that I was a VERY unhappy person (I'm not - though I definitely have my share of stressed out moments that I felt safe venting to my "friends"). She said that when she first saw me, she thought "what an unhappy person, wonder what I can do to make it better". Thus, our friendship began?!? (So, I was a charity friendship?)

 

She told me how I'm self-absorbed. She told me that I have myself spread too thin (I know this) - not in a caring way. She told me that there is only so much she can do to try to help me unless I try to help myself (not sure what this was about)?!? She told me that I need to take a serious moment to sit down and look at my life and decide what has to give. That I'm a stay at home mom and there is no reason I shouldn't be able to keep my house up. That I should be able to do all my duties. I need to sit down and say this day is for this, this day is for that.

 

**Note: I have ADD. This stuff is hard for me. I'm working on it. I'm learning what works for me. I'm learning to accept me for me & that I'm okay being me. I'm learning that I can't hold myself to other's standards or I will fail every time. I told her this.**

 

She told me how unhappy I am (I'm not). She told me I never smile (I do). She finally said that I did smile, but that it was never genuine (it is). She asked me if I am 100% happy with my life. Of course not....who is? Am I happy overall - yes! Do I have some seriously stressed, I'm going to lose it moments.....absolutely! I felt safe expressing them to her.

 

She told me that she was just flabbergasted that I would expect my 10yr old to keep her room clean. That when her SDD was that age she would help her. Well....again, I'm ADD. It was as overwhelming to me as it was to my ADD daughter. The implication was that I am a terribly overbearing, high expecting mother....my poor daughter.

 

She told me that while Nut Job loved the photos, she didn't like them at all. She felt she didn't even get what she asked for. (I can't offer a reshoot as one of SDD's sisters was in them and lives out of state) I told her that I agreed that they weren't my best work. I said that I am uncomfortable with groups & adults and that I know I don't work well with them, which is part of the reason I'm taking a hiatus. I'm not taking sessions right now, but I did this for her, because she's a friend. I expressed that I had a hard time working with this group especially because they were pushy. She told me I need to be more assertive.....I'm the photographer.

 

Well...isn't that what I was doing by enforcing my prices?!?

 

I told her that I wished she had approached this from a "I want to do this for Nut Job and I want you to help because I love your work. Would you be willing to donate your time....I'll cover your costs?" perspective. I probably would've said yes.

 

She told me that after I had my hair done I looked more confident and happy, but now I'm "back to slicking my hair back and not giving a crap". FWIW....I've NEVER been the type to do my hair and makeup all fancy every day. I'm also one with hair that doesn't look good on day 2. I have a 2yr old and can't always fit a shower in first thing in the morning, so I throw it in a pony tail to take my kids to preschool until I can shower in the afternoon.

 

I cried through the whole conversation. She never once sounded anything but angry/upset. I had no idea was a charity friend. I had no idea she was judging every move I made. I had no clue I shouldn't feel safe venting things to her.

 

I'm dumbfounded and so hurt right now. Part of me wants to give her the CD. Not to make her happy, but because I truly believe it probably WOULD be the right thing to do, but I know it won't be received the way I would intend. I have no other local friends. I don't know if I can ever be friends with her again without feeling like she scrutinizing everything I do and say.

 

I'm so, so, so hurt.

 

 

That, m'dear, is no friend. Run far far away. Fast.

[trlt]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. A true friend would never say those things. You deserve true friends who cherish you for who you are.

[nmoira]

She sounds like anything but a friend, being a score-keeper and putative "fixer," forever disappointed in you and your lack of appreciation. And that's almost certainly the way she wants it.

:grouphug:

[clarkacademy]

I think she is nuts to talk to someone that way. I think you should let it go and write her off and that be that. There are millions of people in this world who would love to be your friends. There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to pay you for the work you did.

 

She sounds miserable and she sounds like that mean insecure girl in highschool who has to pick on other people cause she feels so low!:grouphug:

[5kidsforME]

:iagree: This is why I say don't give it to her, she didn't like them anyway.:glare:

 

I agree I wouldn't give it to her. BUT Iwould see if I could send the CD or pics to Nut Job. Or, the more i think of it, i NJ really NJ or is the other woman the true NJ?

[Mommy22alyns]

Wow. She just unloaded on you and that's so not fair. TBH, she sounds a lot like my mom, holding things in and then exploding all over people. I'm so sorry. I honestly wouldn't give her the CD at this point. :grouphug:

[5kidsforME]

You all are so wonderful. My head is pounding. I think I've cried all the tears I can cry in the last 4hr.

 

I think I need to send/give her the CD....for ME. I know if she had approached me about it as a charity venture we would partner in, I would've done it. This isn't about me, or her. It's about her SDD.

 

 

Kristin, I really don't think you should give it to her. I guess to me it would come across that you agree with what she said.

Is there any way you can send it to the the step daughters mom directly? Or send the good pics to her?

 

 

Personally, I wouldn't want her dang money at all.

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[EKS]

Who talks to anyone like that?? It was cruel. She is trying to manipulate you into giving her what she wants. I think you gave the name Nut Job to the wrong person in your original thread ... she clearly deserves the title. :glare:

 

:iagree:

[mirth]

What a bad day! Although it is considerably worse for the poor man who managed to land two such prizes.

 

I would cut away all the friendship misinformation (there is none) and ask yourself as a professional what would you do for another repeat customer who claimed, truthfully or not, they did not get what they asked for? If you have a written contract, you really couldn't just withhold or destroy the images. Were it me, I would deliver some or all of the images, watermarked REALLY BIG right across the nose (ok, joking) and not invest anything more emotionally. That is really the easiest way to permanently sweep away her scat. Honestly, I feel worn out by her myself, and I am something orders of magnitude less than a tourist in all this.

 

Pity her husband.

Edited March 1, 2012 by mirth

[QueenCat]

:grouphug:Kristin:grouphug:

[nono]

I think you might want to reconsider who you call Nut Job in the original scenario! ;)

 

:grouphug: