jenL Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 My 8yo accidentally broke my BIL's 36" flat screen today while playing the Wii. We don't have the Wii at our house (or any game console system), so as he was playing he ended up migrating closer to the TV. He swung his arm and the controller slipped and shattered the TV screen. It was an accident, and ds feels horrible about it. Ds immediately walked up to my BIL who was in another room (without stopping to tell dh and me) and told BIL that he broke his TV. He was crying and apologizing. Dh was instantly angry because we cannot afford to replace the TV right now. BIL tried to calm my ds down, stressed it was an accident, said it's just a TV & it's 5 years old, etc (BIL has lots of money & lots of TVs in his house, so he truly believes it's no big deal). Dh is ready to explode, but he holds it in. Ds is distraught and apologizes to my cousins and my SIL. My BIL and FIL pull dh aside and BIL again stresses not to worry about it, etc. As we are leaving Dh asks his brother to tell him how much he wants for the TV. BIL laughs and says to not worry about it. Dh drives the 40 minutes home silent and refusing to talk to ds. Dh believes there must be a consequence for this. I do too, but our problem is WHAT? BIL truly doesn't seem to care, SIL reassured us to not worry about it, so did my nephew who uses it the most (he's 14). What should we do? Ds is very sensitive, and he's a good kid. It is visible that this is a burden on his heart. The Mama Bear in me feels so badly for him, but we want him to learn from this. He's only 8, so we're not sure what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Did the controller have one of those wristbands on it? Was your DS told to use it? Maybe he needs to be sure to use it next time, if it does. If not, what's to learn? It was an accident, not an intentional or negligent act, and your DS is only 8 years old. Not only that, it is an accident that has happened to many people, adults included. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I'd let it go as it truly was an accident, but I would provide adult supervision next time he was playing wii. :iagree: Accidents happen. If you feel you HAVE to have him do something maybe he could do some extra chores or go and help bil a day with yard work or what ever to make amends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 We have a wii, we are careful to go over with the kids how to wear the wrist-strap and why, etc. If he didn't do any of that, then he probably figures it was partly his fault; I certainly would. You offered to pay, they declined, both sides were gracious. Let it go. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He did the right thing in response. The offended parties told you all to let it go. I can't imagine what more there is to do than comfort your son who will likely remember this for a very long time if it's handled poorly. I don't get your husband's response. Maybe he'll react better in the morning after he's slept on the event? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would really really want you to just drop it and leave the kid alone. Yes, sometimes there are consequences. Other times there is mercy and a shrug. If my nephew broke my television, I would want him to always remember that his Aunt Dana was really nice about it and wasn't upset and told him that stuff is just stuff. If my own kids, who I am responsible for training, broke my tv, I might want them to contribute to another. I might want to use that as a different kind of learning experience. Life has room for lots of lessons. One lesson is that you try to mend/replace what you break. Another lesson is that stuff is just stuff and that sometimes people who love you give you a free pass. People LIKE to show mercy. So let him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Did the controller have one of those wristbands on it? Was your DS told to use it? Maybe he needs to be sure to use it next time, if it does. If not, what's to learn? It was an accident, not an intentional or negligent act, and your DS is only 8 years old. Not only that, it is an accident that has happened to many people, adults included. :iagree: You should see all the youtube videos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 The natural consequences would be to apologise, which he did without being told, and to replace it. Replacing an expensive tv is unrealistic for such a little kid, so you would have to replace it, and make him work enough to make him feel like he's covered the cost. HOWEVER, since your BIL's family said it doesn't matter and have more televisions in the house, apologies and remorse seem entirely sufficient, especially because he manned up and apologised off his own back. What would dreaming up some other punishment teach him? What is it you want him to learn? There is no punishment that will teach a person not to have accidents. He's learned that people can be gracious about accidents. That's good to know. Maybe he'll be more gracious next time someone breaks something of his. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Sorry this happened. Perhaps you could arrange for your son to do some type of work for your BIL and family? Perhaps some yard work or something? No, it would not be able to replace the TV, but it may help make everyone feel a little better that the gesture of restitution was made . . . I was so impressed to read how your son went immediately to his uncle to apologize, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. Totally agree. Even if it were our tv, which we could in no way afford to replace, (ours was a gift), I would still expect nothing more than your son's honest apology, which he clearly and tearfully gave. Give him a hug and remind him to be more careful.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I am absolutely POSITIVE that he HAS learned from it. You can bet he will know to be more careful and not get so close again should the situation ever arise again. It was an ACCIDENT. He apologized, of his own accord. He feels terrible. You were all assured repeatedly they do not want money for it. This does not require punishment. Not talking to him the whole ride home was bad enough. DH needs to cut the kid a break just like BIL and family were gracious enough to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imperfect Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. By letting it go he learns how to extend grace to others. He feels badly and, I am sure, will be more careful next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Punishment is unneccesary. It was an accident. Your son is upset, apologized for it an owned it. I would be proud of him for that. My goodness, what happens when you or your dh do something on accident? Do you get punished for it? Should be the same for a child. Unless it was deliberate, let it go and be happy the il's got that it was an accident and are being so gracious about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. I should have read this before responding. :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Two things: 1) it sounds to me from what you've posted that dh has some kind of an issue that is impacting his judgment on this. I would ask him not to engage ds on this incident until you two have a chance to discuss this together and firm up a plan of action. You might gently need to explore his issues about what happened with him. 2) After the dust has settled, you might need to talk to BIL and explain how important it is to ds to feel that he has made restitution in a mature way. He apologized and handled it beautifully in the moment, with great courage and maturity, but he may need to work off some of the value. (A day's chores alongside BIL and family or something. His effort needs to be valued.) hth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would really really want you to just drop it and leave the kid alone. Yes, sometimes there are consequences. Other times there is mercy and a shrug. If my nephew broke my television, I would want him to always remember that his Aunt Dana was really nice about it and wasn't upset and told him that stuff is just stuff. If my own kids, who I am responsible for training, broke my tv, I might want them to contribute to another. I might want to use that as a different kind of learning experience. Life has room for lots of lessons. One lesson is that you try to mend/replace what you break. Another lesson is that stuff is just stuff and that sometimes people who love you give you a free pass. People LIKE to show mercy. So let him. :iagree: That's really beautiful, Danestress. The consequence is grace. Sometimes that's the hardest lesson to learn, sometimes that's the hardest lesson to accept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Your ds, BIL, and SIL have handled the situation beautifully. I think your dh should cool off and then apologize to ds for giving him the silent treatment. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldskool Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 My ds was about the same age when he broke our brand new flat screen with the Wii remote. Not much you can do. Our son was upset too, but getting mad or giving a consequence would not have fixed the TV. We also were in no position to buy a replacement. I would let it go. I am sure the experience is one that he won't forget (and he feels bad about) and will make him more careful in the future. It is a learning experience in itself. By the way, for perspective just Google flat screens broken by Wiis and you will see that this is a very common occurrence. Lesley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Thank you everyone for validating my thoughts that what ds did in apologizing on his own was amazing enough in itself. Dh is a good man, but he grew up in a household filled with A LOT of anger, so his initial response is anger. He has been working on it through therapy, and he has made great strides. A year ago, he would have verbally exploded on ds in front of everyone; tonight, he did not (and I am so thankful). I have pointed out to dh that I think what ds did was commendable. I am going to talk to him about seeing the mercy BIL has given to ds. I think he will come around. Elegantlion, your comment about grace made me cry... it's so perfect. Thank you, ladies, for helping to ease this mom's heart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Your son handled things very well. I'm not a fan of the silent treatment, but for an accident? I would not be happy with my dh if he acted this way. :001_huh: Also, I don't think additional punishment for an accident is productive. Your ds obviously feels bad, so unless he was disobeying instructions to wear the wristband, I wouldn't take any further action. ETA: Oops, I see we cross-posted. :-) Sounds like you've got it all under control. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. I agree completely. I'm impressed by how maturely he handled it and hope your DH recognizes it after he cools off and tells him so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyrooch Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Two things: 1) it sounds to me from what you've posted that dh has some kind of an issue that is impacting his judgment on this. I would ask him not to engage ds on this incident until you two have a chance to discuss this together and firm up a plan of action. You might gently need to explore his issues about what happened with him. 2) After the dust has settled, you might need to talk to BIL and explain how important it is to ds to feel that he has made restitution in a mature way. He apologized and handled it beautifully in the moment, with great courage and maturity, but he may need to work off some of the value. (A day's chores alongside BIL and family or something. His effort needs to be valued.) hth :iagree: It was clearly an accident and your ds was honest about it so no punishment is warranted. On that note however, encouraging your ds to do something nice for your BIL would teach him to return the same grace that was offered to him. His offering to do some chores for your BIL would teach your ds that it is right to try to fix the damage he's done. Even if your BIL doesn't expect it, it would be a wonderful gesture from your ds and also a great opportunity to teach him to do unto others as he would have them do unto him. It also might help your dh feel as if you guys tried to repay the damage even though it wasn't repaid is dollars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyz Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 (edited) My son and children visiting are instructed to wear the wrist strap. It's my opinion that it was the adult's fault and not your son's fault. It's like giving your son the keys to the car and not mentioning the fact that there is a seatbelt. Edited October 17, 2011 by Cindyz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would really really want you to just drop it and leave the kid alone. Yes, sometimes there are consequences. Other times there is mercy and a shrug. If my nephew broke my television, I would want him to always remember that his Aunt Dana was really nice about it and wasn't upset and told him that stuff is just stuff. If my own kids, who I am responsible for training, broke my tv, I might want them to contribute to another. I might want to use that as a different kind of learning experience. Life has room for lots of lessons. One lesson is that you try to mend/replace what you break. Another lesson is that stuff is just stuff and that sometimes people who love you give you a free pass. People LIKE to show mercy. So let him. Beautiful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. :iagree: And most importantly, it seems clear from your post that his apology was truly sincere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I am absolutely POSITIVE that he HAS learned from it. You can bet he will know to be more careful and not get so close again should the situation ever arise again. It was an ACCIDENT. He apologized, of his own accord. He feels terrible. You were all assured repeatedly they do not want money for it. This does not require punishment. Not talking to him the whole ride home was bad enough. DH needs to cut the kid a break just like BIL and family were gracious enough to do. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 One of my favorite sayings on mercy is this: "You can't give away what you've never received." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. :iagree: Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. :iagree::iagree: Don't punish him for an honest mistake that was maturely handled. He doesn't have a Wii at home. It doesn't sound like he was aware how easily the controllers can slip. It happens all. the. time. Tell him how proud he made you by taking responsibility and apologizing so maturely and drop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 :iagree: It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. :iagree: However, I would bet that once your DH has a little time to cool off, he will feel the same way. It can be very difficult to retrain those hardwired responses (especially anger) and it is great that he is making the effort with therapy and has come so far. A kind and understanding word from DH to DS would probably do wonders to mend the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 The Mama Bear in me feels so badly for him, but we want him to learn from this. He's only 8, so we're not sure what to do. What exactly do you want him to learn??? It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. Did you or your dh help him attach a wrist strap to his arm so this wouldn't happen? If not, it isn't his fault. This is a known problem with WI controllers, which is why they have wrist straps now. I think he apologized instantly on his own. He did the right thing. Now it is time for your dh to do the right thing, which is to forgive and show Christian kindness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Is your husband maybe ... upset? (I hesitate to say embarassed, but that's the direction I'm leaning) ... that he can't afford to replace the television set his son broke, and that's aggravating any frustration he's feeling over the situation (including, perhaps, not keeping a more careful eye on the child to begin with)? You say he grew up in a house of anger, and while I did not I do know that I tend to over-react when I'm feeling somewhat responsible for a bad situation :( If this is the case with him, too, perhaps sleeping on it for a day or two will bring him back around? Your son sounds like a respectful young boy who did his best to right his (accidental) wrong. Perhaps your husband would be satisfied with your son helping the inlaws around the house/yard for a day or weekend as a small form of restitution; your inlaws seem like reasonable people who love their nephew and recognize the importance of people over things - I'm sure they'd work your son appropriately, and maybe it would help your son even feel better about the situation, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 (edited) Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: I can't imagine this being a punishable offense. Honestly, I think your ds acted far more mature and grown up than your dh did. ...his initial response is anger. He has been working on it through therapy, and he has made great strides. A year ago, he would have verbally exploded on ds in front of everyone; tonight, he did not (and I am so thankful). I have pointed out to dh that I think what ds did was commendable. I am going to talk to him about seeing the mercy BIL has given to ds. I think he will come around. I'm glad to hear that you are proud of the way your ds handled the situation, and that you think your dh will come around, as well. I'm glad to hear he didn't say anything to your ds in front of your BIL and SIL, because I'm sure he would have regretted it. It's so easy to fly off the handle, especially when you're embarrassed about something, only to later wish you could take it all back! Edited October 17, 2011 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. :iagree: Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 (edited) I think it is admirable that your dh is getting help for his emotions. So many folks don't. It's good he can recongize that his anger is over-the-top for a simple childhood mistake. Good for him. And good for you for protecting your son and being honest with his father. You see that you can be a supportive wife at the same time you know to protect and support your children. The first step to family harmony and trust is understanding none of us are perfect 'stuff' happens. That's life and these sorts of mistakes are not the end of the world. Not even close. :) I think a simple, "Son, it was a mistake. These new game can be tricky. I know we'll remind each other about the wrist strap in the future. I am so proud of you for coming right away to tell us what happened. I'll bet you were scared to tell us, but you were so brave. I never want you to be afraid. I am your dad, and I love you. We can try to make things right together. You showed a lot of maturity today. I am proud of you." Edited October 17, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranquility7 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Originally Posted by Danestress I would really really want you to just drop it and leave the kid alone. Yes, sometimes there are consequences. Other times there is mercy and a shrug. If my nephew broke my television, I would want him to always remember that his Aunt Dana was really nice about it and wasn't upset and told him that stuff is just stuff. If my own kids, who I am responsible for training, broke my tv, I might want them to contribute to another. I might want to use that as a different kind of learning experience. Life has room for lots of lessons. One lesson is that you try to mend/replace what you break. Another lesson is that stuff is just stuff and that sometimes people who love you give you a free pass. People LIKE to show mercy. So let him. :iagree: That's really beautiful, Danestress. The consequence is grace. Sometimes that's the hardest lesson to learn, sometimes that's the hardest lesson to accept. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Restitution is what is "just", but given the circumstances, it sounds like DS *and* DH are going to learn a lesson about mercy instead. It can be so uncomfortably humbling to receive mercy, but it is important to learn to not refuse it. Simply be grateful, and look for an opportunity show mercy to others (pay it forward!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I'd let it go as it truly was an accident, but I would provide adult supervision next time he was playing wii. :iagree: It was only an accident, your ds manned up and admitted it right away, complete with apology. I would never punish for an accident, in fact I would praise for him doing the right thing and approaching BIL like a young honorable man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would really really want you to just drop it and leave the kid alone. Yes, sometimes there are consequences. Other times there is mercy and a shrug. If my nephew broke my television, I would want him to always remember that his Aunt Dana was really nice about it and wasn't upset and told him that stuff is just stuff. If my own kids, who I am responsible for training, broke my tv, I might want them to contribute to another. I might want to use that as a different kind of learning experience. Life has room for lots of lessons. One lesson is that you try to mend/replace what you break. Another lesson is that stuff is just stuff and that sometimes people who love you give you a free pass. People LIKE to show mercy. So let him. :iagree:Beautifully said and something I have to keep in mind too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 My heart goes out to your little man. He acted appropriately. He's sorry. It has been forgiven. I do think you should all let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It was an accident. He apologized, payment was offered and refused.. That should be the end of it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I agree that he has already learned his lesson and feels badly enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 The natural consequences would be to apologise, which he did without being told, and to replace it. Replacing an expensive tv is unrealistic for such a little kid, so you would have to replace it, and make him work enough to make him feel like he's covered the cost. HOWEVER, since your BIL's family said it doesn't matter and have more televisions in the house, apologies and remorse seem entirely sufficient, especially because he manned up and apologised off his own back.What would dreaming up some other punishment teach him? What is it you want him to learn? There is no punishment that will teach a person not to have accidents. He's learned that people can be gracious about accidents. That's good to know. Maybe he'll be more gracious next time someone breaks something of his. Rosie :iagree: There's a lot of wisdom in this post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Honestly? It sounds like he did learn something from this. He went to his uncle, on his own initiative, without talking to you first, and apologized profusely, while in tears? He then apologized to his aunt and his cousin, on his own initiative, as well? Goodness! I know he made a mistake but for his age, he handled it beautifully! Rather than being upset at your son, your DH should realize that his son handled that situation like an honest young man. Wow, and he is going to be punished on top of his massive feelings of guilt? I'm sorry your DH is so upset that he can't seem to see just how impressive your son's actions were. Personally, I'd talk to him about how proud I am of how he handled such a difficult situation and how to be very mindful of other people's belongings, and then I'd let it go. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyniffrec Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 The consequence is grace. Sometimes that's the hardest lesson to learn, sometimes that's the hardest lesson to accept. So true and so nicely put! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 You should be so proud of your son for acting as he did. That was very brave of him and certainly a sign of good moral fiber. Way to go, parents! Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1GirlTwinBoys Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I think your DS handled it wonderful. It was an accident and if he wasn't told to play with the wristband on, he really can't be blamed as he didn't know what could happen. BUT, I do think you and your DH should purchase them another t.v. Even if that means going to the store and picking out one that is the same brand & size or comparable. I think BIL and family handled it so kindly and without hurt feelings which is VERY nice of them. Still, your family did damage their property and I would want to take care of it. Just because they were kind about it and didn't make you feel bad, doesn't mean you shouldn't take responsibility for what happened IMO. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.