When you're riding passenger in the car ... (WWYD?)

[eternalknot]

You're riding in the passenger seat of a car/van/truck, under normal everyday conditions.

 

A song comes on the radio that you're not wild about. Do you ignore it? Reach over and change the station? Reach over and turn it down? Ask to turn it down or change the station? Assume it's nothing offensive, just not your favorite song.

 

Or say you get a bit bothered by the temperature. It's not uncomfortable, just not .... perfect. Do you ignore it? Reach over and adjust it? Ask to adjust it? You're neither sweating it out nor freezing to death, just not perfect.

 

Does it matter if who you're with? For instance, would you do one thing with your spouse/partner or child at the wheel but something differently with a friend or cab driver driving?

 

I'm really curious. My friend and I grew up with different norms in this situation, and we were talking about it today - both shocked at the norms of the other :D.

[dcjlkplus3]

It would TOTALLY depend on who I am in the car with: husband and kids, I'd probably fix it, ora t least talk about - most anybody else, I'd probably just deal :001_smile:.

[Elizabeth in WA]

It would TOTALLY depend on who I am in the car with: husband and kids, I'd probably fix it, ora t least talk about - most anybody else, I'd probably just deal :001_smile:.

 

:iagree:

[Carol in Cal.]

I let the driver decide, but I might speak up about temperature.

[*Lulu*]

if it was someone I knew EXTREMELY well, or we were going to be on the road a long time, I would ask if they minded a change. Otherwise, no.

[chepyl]

If it was not my husband or mom, I would ask.

[Slartibartfast]

If I am with my husband and a song comes on the radio that I despise I turn it, I don't care for Chris Cornell and dh has quite a lot of his music. Dh has started finding it funny that his ipod appears to enjoy playing music that annoys me.

 

If I am driving and a song annoys dh he'll turn it

 

 

If I am a passenger in someone else's vehicle I would ask or beg for the song to stop polluting my eardrums. For instance, say "Christmas Shoes" is playing, I will complain emphatically expressing my deep hatred of it.

 

I am not generally riding with someone I do not know well enough to ask.

[skueppers]

I get carsick if there's no air blowing on my face, so I immediately start adjusting the vents on my side of the car. If there's still no air, I explain the problem and ask if I can fix it.

[bairnmama]

I tend to just deal with things that are just slightly irritating. It's not my car, so it's not my call. When I'm driving, I get to decide on the music and temp. I will adjust the vents on my side to not blow on me, though. Now, if I'm literally freezing or burning up I'll ask the driver if I could adjust the temperature or fan speed.... but you said that wasn't the case in your OP.

[Grover]

Radio I'd ignore, temperature, I'd adjust the vents on my side but wouldn't adjust the whole car temperature without asking.

[QueenCat]

It would TOTALLY depend on who I am in the car with: husband and kids, I'd probably fix it, ora t least talk about - most anybody else, I'd probably just deal :001_smile:.

 

:iagree:With dh, we just say "okay if I change it".... the answer is almost always "yes"... Outside of immediate family, I just try to ignore it.

[Joker]

If I'm driving with dh or my mom I would say something. If I'm driving with anyone else I would keep quiet.

[kitten18]

 

Does it matter if who you're with? For instance, would you do one thing with your spouse/partner or child at the wheel but something differently with a friend or cab driver driving?

 

 

I had to vote other because it depends completely on who I am with. If it's DH, I would change the radio, temperature myself. If it were my sister or a friend, I would just tolerate a song and I would ask if we could change the temperature.

[KidsHappen]

If it is my car, I do whatever I want regardless of who is driving. If it is someone else's car I wouldn't do anything about the radio but I would adjust the air on my side and if it was still a problem I would ask them to adjust it.

[mommaduck]

If I'm with DH or the kids, I turn it. If I'm with another person and it's their vehicle, then it would depend upon the circumstances: how well do I know the person and their personality, does the song just bother me or is it offensive, etc. If it's offensive and I know I can say something, I will simply ask if we could change the station.

[WishboneDawn]

I'd wait out the song silently and ask, "Do you mind if I turn the heat up/down?" for the temperature.

[LaxMom]

It would TOTALLY depend on who I am in the car with: husband and kids, I'd probably fix it, ora t least talk about - most anybody else, I'd probably just deal :001_smile:.

 

:iagree: Generally, too, if I'm riding in the car with someone other than my family, we're not listening to the radio. We're chatting. (With my family, we're usually listening to audiobooks or NPR, so the annoying song question is moot)

 

This reminds me of a ride, almost 20 years ago, with my new boss: chat, chat, chat <omg, why is my bum warm?> chat, chat, chat <ok, seriously, now it's hot> chat, chat, chat <this is not normal... how do I ask my new boss why my bum is overheated?> chat, chat, chat <panic! panic!> chat, chat, Boss: oh! the seat warmers are on! I must have hit the buttons with that box! <turns them off>

[Parrothead]

If I'm in my vehicle, whether driver or passenger, I've as much right as anyone else in the vehicle to fiddle with things within easy reach. I'm not going to reach over and flip the wipers on or honk the horn.

 

If I'm in someone else's vehicle and something is bothersome I'll ask if it can be changed or if I can change it. This is the same as what I would do if I were in someone's house. I think changing things in another person's vehicle is the equivalent of going into someone's house and messing with their TV and thermostat.

[TheReader]

If I'm in the car with my husband, I'd feel free to adjust whatever needed adjusting. Radio, temp, whatever. Usually the radio is not an issue as we play our ipod in the car over the car speakers. But temp, I would first turn my vents to not blow on me, next close my vents if they close, if still cold after that I would turn the fan speed down and if still cold after that I would turn the temperature warmer. That would only last a bit, then he'd turn it colder again, LOL.

 

If I was riding as a passenger in someone else's car, I would definitely not say anything about the radio. If the temp got too cold, I'd feel free to adjust my vent but would not adjust the a/c settings. If I was truly freezing, even after moving my vent, I might ask. If I was too hot, beyond just a smidge warm, I'd probably ask. If my kids were in the car and hot, I'd definitely ask.

 

If it was a taxi, I'd still probably ignore the radio, but I'd feel more comfortable changing the temp or asking for the temp to be changed.

[NanceXToo]

If it was my spouse or mother I'd adjust it myself.

 

If it was anybody else, I'd either ask if they minded, or just deal with it, depending on who they were. (And I'd be more likely to "just deal with" a song I didn't like than feeling uncomfortable with the temperature of the car).

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm somewhere between options #2 and #3.

 

Unless I'm in the car with my husband or a very close friend, I wouldn't say or do anything about either of those situations.

 

If it were my husband or close friend driving, I still wouldn't say or do anything unless I was very uncomfortable. In our family, the rule is that the person driving gets to decide these things.

 

With my husband or close friend driving, if I were very chilled or warm, I might adjust the vents on the passenger side of the car, but I'd probably ask even then if the driver minded.

 

Unless the song in question was Christmas Shoes (which I think is tacky and manipulative and still makes me weep every time), I wouldn't ask even my husband or close friend to change the music.

[kiana]

If it's too hot, I get carsick, so I need to ask to have that adjusted and explain why anyway.

 

If the music is really obnoxious, I'd ask if we can change the station or turn it down.

 

Even if it's my very most favourite station, I wouldn't want someone who was riding in my car to be sitting there disliking the music, so I would change it for them. So why wouldn't I ask them for the same courtesy in return?

[Paige]

If it were DH driving, I'd adjust without asking. If it were someone very close like my mom, MIL, brother, possibly a close friend, I would ask. If it were anyone else, I'd keep my opinions to myself unless I was getting sick. I'd be more likely to speak up about temp. than music. I am always cold so usually I will just turn the vents away from myself. I also hate to feel air blowing on me because it irritates my eyes and nose. I would turn the vents away from my face without asking most people but I wouldn't turn the fan down for everyone in the car.

[twoforjoy]

I said other. When I'm the passenger, it's usually DH who is driving. In that case, I'll adjust the radio, assuming he's not listening to something, and I'll change the temperature if I'm uncomfortable (although I'll usually check first to make sure my change won't make anybody else in the car uncomfortable).

 

But, if it was somebody else driving, I'd probably just leave everything be and deal.

[chicagoshannon]

if it was my husband or family I'd just adjust it. Anyone else I'd ask.

[sassenach]

With the exception of family, with which I would just make the adjustments, I would ask the driver.

[BigMamaBird]

Unless it's my dh, I always ask. Though, when I'm driving, I tell people to fiddle with settings to their hearts content. It doesn't bother me.

[Firefly]

I've been in this situation many times with regards to temperature (couldn't care less about the radio) and I have no problem with asking the driver if I can adjust it.

[mrs.m]

You're riding in the passenger seat of a car/van/truck, under normal everyday conditions.

 

A song comes on the radio that you're not wild about. Do you ignore it? Reach over and change the station? Reach over and turn it down? Ask to turn it down or change the station? Assume it's nothing offensive, just not your favorite song.

 

If it's my DH, I change it. If it is anyone else, I leave it. If it is too loud for conversation, I ask to turn it down. ;)

 

Or say you get a bit bothered by the temperature. It's not uncomfortable, just not .... perfect. Do you ignore it? Reach over and adjust it? Ask to adjust it? You're neither sweating it out nor freezing to death, just not perfect.

 

Usually, I turn off the vent on my side. They then ask if they should adjust the temp. Except DH. We don't have the same temp comfort.

 

Does it matter if who you're with? For instance, would you do one thing with your spouse/partner or child at the wheel but something differently with a friend or cab driver driving?

 

Immediate family, I'm not nearly as polite. :lol: With a cab driver (which woud be a very rare situation), I expect that they will do what I ask in such regards because I'm paying and tipping for the service.

 

I'm really curious. My friend and I grew up with different norms in this situation, and we were talking about it today - both shocked at the norms of the other :D.

 

I didn't answer through the poll. It depends on who it is.

[Mabeline]

It would TOTALLY depend on who I am in the car with: husband and kids, I'd probably fix it, ora t least talk about - most anybody else, I'd probably just deal :001_smile:.

 

:iagree:

[KungFuPanda]

When in doubt, I err on the side of not complaining.

[ereks mom]

When I'm driving, I try to make sure my passengers (friends, family, whoever) are comfortable. I ask if they're too warm or too cold, if they music is too loud, etc. and I usually tell them to adjust it to make themselves comfortable. I would expect them to do the same for me. When I'm riding with someone else, I don't hesitate to ask them to make changes. I don't, however, adjust any settings myself unless they suggest that I do so. The exception to this is dh & me. We each change the settings ourselves without asking when the other is doing the driving.

Edited September 9, 2011 by ereks mom

[Daisy]

I just ask. Do you like this song or can I change the channel? I'm warm, how about you? Whatever. I usually ride with people that I feel comfortable enough to talk to about stuff like that.

 

I also know that when I'm driving, I like for my passengers to be comfortable. I'd feel terrible if my friend couldn't say, "Hey, I'm melting into a puddle of water. Can we turn up the a/c?"

[Stacia]

Well, I guess I'm going to sound horrible & rude, but my motto is:

 

"Driver rules. Except, if I'm not the one driving, then *I* rule." ;):D

 

(I think my family & friends still love me anyway. :lol:)

 

ETA: Eternalknot, when are you going to reveal your car air/music motto?

[DusksAngel]

It would TOTALLY depend on who I am in the car with: husband and kids, I'd probably fix it, ora t least talk about - most anybody else, I'd probably just deal :001_smile:.

:iagree: Good friends, I'd ask if it was okay to change it.

[Lady Florida.]

Keep the driver happy. A happy driver is a safe driver is what my mother always said. I think it was just her way of insuring she didn't have to listen to my music when I was a teen. ;)

 

If it's just ds and me in the car, he will sometimes ask me to put on a station he likes, but he's been taught to always ask. I usually comply, but I want him to ask. We mostly like the same music though, so he only rarely wants a different station.

 

As for temperature, our van has different adjustments for driver, passenger, and back. I can't stand a fan blowing directly on me, so I adjust my vents along with my temperature.

[eternalknot]

This reminds me of a ride, almost 20 years ago, with my new boss: chat, chat, chat <omg, why is my bum warm?> chat, chat, chat <ok, seriously, now it's hot> chat, chat, chat <this is not normal... how do I ask my new boss why my bum is overheated?> chat, chat, chat <panic! panic!> chat, chat, Boss: oh! the seat warmers are on! I must have hit the buttons with that box! <turns them off>

 

:lol: talk about your awkward situations!

 

Unless the song in question was Christmas Shoes (which I think is tacky and manipulative and still makes me weep every time), I wouldn't ask even my husband or close friend to change the music.

 

Your description of this song has me intrigued. It's on my To Google list :D!

 

Unless it's my dh, I always ask. Though, when I'm driving, I tell people to fiddle with settings to their hearts content. It doesn't bother me.

 

This is how I feel, too. I'm very accommodating of my passengers' needs/wants. I'd err on the side of the passenger's comfort before I did my own (when driving). Though, I do the same as passenger LOL.

 

Well, I guess I'm going to sound horrible & rude, but my motto is:

 

"Driver rules. Except, if I'm not the one driving, then *I* rule." ;):D

 

(I think my family & friends still love me anyway. :lol:)

 

ETA: Eternalknot, when are you going to reveal your car air/music motto?

 

:tongue_smilie: You and my parents, all! Yours was the motto I grew up with, so as a passenger I'm accustomed to it being all about the driver. As a driver I'm accustomed to deferring to my parents (or later in life, to other passengers).

 

My motto applies to me as both driver and passenger: "Suffer Silently!"

 

My girlfriend thinks I'm ridiculous and should just ask to make minor adjustments. She doesn't even ask; she just adjusts. It doesn't bother me when she rides in my car (though the first few times it took me by surprise. People not related to you did that?!?! LOL) but it bothers her when I'm her passenger and I don't make myself comfortable!

 

As part of my job I'm routinely a passenger in a car/van with a hired driver. I don't say anything then, either, unless it's an extreme temperature issue. And let me tell you, there are lots of drivers with some bad taste in music! Nothing overtly offensive, just .... bad!

[Mommyof4ks]

I don't touch the driver's controls unless I am with dh. Driving is uncomfortable if the temp is off for me, so I would not appreciate Anyone messing with it while I am driving. The radio does not bother me unless my kids are in the car too, and then I would ask the driver to change the station. For the most part I am a deal with it kind of person though if I am riding with someone else.

[mycalling]

With DH, I just adjust it as he does the same. With anyone older, I usually won't ask. With a friend, I'll ask to change it.

[Ellesmere]

You're riding in the passenger seat of a car/van/truck, under normal everyday conditions.

 

A song comes on the radio that you're not wild about. Do you ignore it? Reach over and change the station? Reach over and turn it down? Ask to turn it down or change the station? Assume it's nothing offensive, just not your favorite song.

 

Or say you get a bit bothered by the temperature. It's not uncomfortable, just not .... perfect. Do you ignore it? Reach over and adjust it? Ask to adjust it? You're neither sweating it out nor freezing to death, just not perfect.

 

Does it matter if who you're with? For instance, would you do one thing with your spouse/partner or child at the wheel but something differently with a friend or cab driver driving?

 

I'm really curious. My friend and I grew up with different norms in this situation, and we were talking about it today - both shocked at the norms of the other :D.

It all boils down to who I'm with. With my husband, I know well enough to bring a sweater or he'll adjust if I forget. We both agree on music.

 

With anyone else, I'd only say anything about the temp if I suddenly felt unwell. Mildly overheated or chilled is not an issue, although I hope someone would feel ok asking me to adjust the temp.

 

To me, music is up to the driver. When I drive, I usually put on something fairly neutral but I don't expect a driver to have on anything but what they prefer. I'd be surprised but not offended if someone made adjustments without asking. It's kind of like asking at someone's house first before grabbing something out of the fridge. Usually the answer is going to be yes, but you "ask anyway" is the norm I grew up with.

[Mommy22alyns]

If I'm riding with my DH, I don't hesitate to control the ambiance. If I was riding with someone else, I'd ignore the song on the radio. I'd only ask to change the temperature if I was really suffering.

[Ellesmere]

This reminds me of a ride, almost 20 years ago, with my new boss: chat, chat, chat <omg, why is my bum warm?> chat, chat, chat <ok, seriously, now it's hot> chat, chat, chat <this is not normal... how do I ask my new boss why my bum is overheated?> chat, chat, chat <panic! panic!> chat, chat, Boss: oh! the seat warmers are on! I must have hit the buttons with that box! <turns them off>

:lol:

We once had a car with seat heat. We gave someone a ride that we didn't know well, and he was totally freaked out when his seat heat was on and he had never been in a vehicle with it. Finally he piped up, "Ummm, why is my ... ummm ... well, I'm a little warm ..."

[Mom0012]

You're riding in the passenger seat of a car/van/truck, under normal everyday conditions.

 

A song comes on the radio that you're not wild about. Do you ignore it? Reach over and change the station? Reach over and turn it down? Ask to turn it down or change the station? Assume it's nothing offensive, just not your favorite song.

 

Or say you get a bit bothered by the temperature. It's not uncomfortable, just not .... perfect. Do you ignore it? Reach over and adjust it? Ask to adjust it? You're neither sweating it out nor freezing to death, just not perfect.

 

Does it matter if who you're with? For instance, would you do one thing with your spouse/partner or child at the wheel but something differently with a friend or cab driver driving?

 

I'm really curious. My friend and I grew up with different norms in this situation, and we were talking about it today - both shocked at the norms of the other :D.

 

For my husband or best friend, I'd say something and ask if they mind if I adjusted. If I was riding with an acquaintance, I'd keep my mouth shut.

 

Lisa

[swellmomma]

Temperature I ask for an adjustment, Volume of radio I ask about adjustment (either up or down), but for a song I ignore it, it will be over soon enough.

[Truscifi]

Assuming I was not really uncomfortable I would let it go and remain silent. If I were uncomfortable (with temp/song/whatever) I would say something to the driver. I would not change anything without asking first. And no, it doesn't matter who is driving.

[Sasharowan]

I voted keep silent. With my mom or dh, I would reach over and change it, but with anyone else, I'd keep silent.

[Night Elf]

I grew up with, and still live by, the idea that the driver is king/queen of the vehicle. They choose the music and temperature. I close vents if I'm too cold, and I have been known to ask someone to turn the AC on if I'm feeling hot. However, since I live in GA, driving with AC is standard for the people I ride with (family really).

 

So mostly, I stay silent. Even my dd19 is queen of the car when she is driving, unless she does something I consider unsafe, which has never happened yet.

 

I also think backseat driving is horribly rude. Although it's an effort for me to stay silent when the driver, usually my DH, does things that make me cringe, I still remain silent.