LAmom Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 What a crazy situation! I hope it all gets worked out soon. I can't imagine someone requesting hair cut for a wedding. She sounds like a brat. :glare: Sorry. I hope your husband does not do it. We make the bridal party wear what we want for our weddings but force them to change a personal look? Like hair? Ugh. It is ONLY ONE DAY people. Like a previous poster stated, the marriage is what matters. I know many people who regret spending tons on a wedding instead of investing/saving for the future. Whatever, that is a personal matter, but the hair part... It is sweet of your husband to even consider it! What a great friend. Hopefully he can have a good 1:1 talk with his friend and sort through some things and find out what is really going on. Maybe ask some hard questions. I hate when I see men get walked all over by a bossy, pushy woman (and I don't know if she actually is these things...). If your husband and his friend decide the hair is staying, then she needs to deal with that. If she isn't willing to listen and is going to control things so little like this...then he needs to reconsider! He will be in for a LONG marriage. He needs to put his foot down. This is his good friend that he wants in their wedding. If that is important to him then she should understand. It isn't all about her. Ha! That's my 2cents. Didn't you really want to know?!!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 As someone who spent $200 at a consignment shop for her own wedding dress 17 years ago, I had to go on a quick google search about this. Monique Lhuillier, selling at Nieman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue, tops out at $10,000. Vera Wang bridal gowns begin at $2,500. They do not approach a cost above $20,000 unless Vera herself designs it and alters it for the bride. Who designed this gal's dress? I've seen brides buy dresses for $20,000+ at Kleinfeld's on Say Yes To The Dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 If I were best man, father of the groom, or brother, I would open my mouth. Polite, private, but I would. And when it turned out I was right, I work NEVER mention the conversation. :iagree: wholeheartedly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Say nothing, but don't let your dh cut his hair, either. If things are that nutso in that relationship, then the wedding may not even happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I've seen brides buy dresses for $20,000+ at Kleinfeld's on Say Yes To The Dress. That show is a guilty pleasure for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oops, duplicate account :/ Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I think your DH should leave his hair long, but dye it blond.... then he would match the rest of the groomsmen! :lol: Seriously though, I'm scared for this groom to be. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Your husband's hair is his choice to cut or not. The Bride is really out of line here. If she didn't like his hair she shouldn't have agreed to let him be in the wedding party in the first place. I say your dh should gracefully bow out. I don't agree, at all. The best man is part of the grooms party and should be his choice. Usually it is the grooms best friend and if the groom is happy with hi best mans hair then that should be good enough. We spent less then a thousand on our wedding and i ended up wishing we'd just gone to the courthouse got it done and told the family about it afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieF Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Do you think that the groom is hoping she will call the wedding off? Sounds that as your dh has agreed to cut his hair with no hard feelings the groom is scratching about looking for an issue to cause the whole thing to be called to a halt. Sounds as if the bride has a few issues here which have only just surfaced! Would the groom have asked her to marry him if he had anticipated her behaviour? I'd stay well out of it as it could turn nasty and you don't want to be blamed for a lot of people getting hurt (and wasting their money) Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Hopefully he's saving for child support, because this won't end up working out :( Say it isn't so about $50,000... that's more than any normal wedding I've heard about. I spent about $3500. and would think twice that if I had a bigger wedding would be on the "outside" of the amount I'd spend... WOW!!! All of the alarm bells are going off. I know of several situations that were like this (over-the-top expenses, bride taking control of every little detail), and not a one of the marriages lasted. Not a one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 So have you guys decided to talk to your friend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 All of the alarm bells are going off. I know of several situations that were like this (over-the-top expenses, bride taking control of every little detail), and not a one of the marriages lasted. Not a one. :iagree: The most expensive wedding I've ever attended was in the $150,000 range and seriously, their first fight was AT THE RECEPTION. It looked nice. The food was ok. We all felt so sorry for DH's friend and the darn marriage lasted about 8 months and then the groom spent 4 YEARS trying to get Bridezilla out of his life. She is AWFUL. Lovely dress though... :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 No idea. I know she had it privately designed and altered, but don't know by who. These prices came from her (the bride). I never questioned that she was lying, given everything else she's demanded. Maybe she is? Given what she said about someone else's (yours?) wedding, she sounds like the sort that thinks spending money impresses people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 So have you guys decided to talk to your friend? Well, here's what today's plan is. Drew and my husband have their volunteer shift tonight at our soup kitchen and my husband is hoping hoping hoping that Drew brings it up while they are cleaning up afterwards and at that point, he will be :bigear: all ears and ready to listen and be supportive and will go from there. If Drew happens to not bring it up, then Nick be telling him on the way home, "Hey, we want you to know that we love you and you are more than welcome to stay with us however long you need to figure out what to do." Key words being "to do" because it will hopefully lead Drew into a conversation. We are, however, leaving the parent's decision about not giving more money for the wedding to them. I completely agree that she can make do with the $65,000 they have already given and quite frankly, they don't even have the whole $50,000 she's asking for, so it's really a non-issue. But yeah, they can do that. Not my battle. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 She laughed hysterically at the idea and told us that we were "adorably simple-minded". Grrr. Okay, I haven't read everyone esle's replies, but I have read all your posts in this thread. I know your husband don't want to confont his friend, but reading everything you've said, and knowing people like this, you need to realize there is a REALLY good chance they won't be friends for much longer if this woman stays around and doesn't change her ways. Simply put, you 'adoreable simple minded' people aren't good enough for her and her new husband to hang around with. [/b] They need to have better, richer friends, with slimilar ideas and views (those would be HER views, just so you know). So after the wedding she'll start fixing the things you has problems/issues with. Drew's friends ARE going to be one of her issues. Seeing you/doing things with you will get harder to do and much more inconvient. She'll declare they are 'too busy'. (Probably with the friends SHE wants them to have.) She'll make it more and more difficult for him to get a chance to spend any time with your husband. He'll protest, so she'll give in, but only inviting you to things you can't afford or have no interest in (or are completely opposed to). Basically making it look like it's YOUR fault they no longer see you. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Has anyone ever told this girl no? She sounds like a menace, but a lot of people have also been enabling her, which only encourages her behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 That's kinda what I'm thinking. I think y'all are being had, on some level. edited to add: And if you're not, the groom sure is! He ought to run for his life. Maybe come back when she grows up. Maybe the bride has a drug problem and is using the money for that. The costs of the shoes and dress seem c.r.a.z.y. expensive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I've seen brides buy dresses for $20,000+ at Kleinfeld's on Say Yes To The Dress. That's what I was thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I have no experience with this. I do know dh has said you never interfere as his experience has been that then the people just get mad and you loss a friend and they still do it. He had a friend forever ago, the girl hit on all of their group of friends but the friend was oblivious even when faced with an audio recording he blamed it on them, not surprisingly it didn't work out. Personally I would have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Do you love your friend? Then you have to help him. It will be uncomfortable. You could lose a friendship over this. But, If you say nothing and your husband has to stand up for his friend in this wedding...I think you will feel like awful. Like you have lied. Like you just watched a friend make a horrible decision and you did nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Your husband's hair is his choice to cut or not. The Bride is really out of line here. If she didn't like his hair she shouldn't have agreed to let him be in the wedding party in the first place. I say your dh should gracefully bow out. The groom gets to choose the best man. The bride has no say in it, just as the groom has no say in whom the bride chooses for her attendants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 What!? They can be with each other. They can even get married. But it is downright stupid for such a couple to spend $150,000+ on a wedding!!! They should go to city hall and the parents could use that money toward setting him up his own business. He doesn't need to get a job as a speech pathologist, he just needs an office. If neither of them can figure that out, then, no, they have no business getting married. Eta: sorry, but I am an oldest child, an ETNP(sometimes J, like now) and a Scorpio. I could not hold it in. :iagree: They are all nuts. Him for putting up with her crap, her for being a whiny baby and the parents for shelling out the money. They all deserve each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathkath Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Wig? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 OMGOSH what a situation....I would NOT cut my hair for that....I mean if it's kept tied back neatly it shouldn't be an issue I mean that's not the center point of the wedding-lol oh my! keep us updated on this situation....wonder how it will turn out........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 As someone who spent $200 at a consignment shop for her own wedding dress 17 years ago, I had to go on a quick google search about this. Monique Lhuillier, selling at Nieman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue, tops out at $10,000. Vera Wang bridal gowns begin at $2,500. They do not approach a cost above $20,000 unless Vera herself designs it and alters it for the bride. Who designed this gal's dress? PNina dresses top out at around $25,000.00 but there are designers higher than that. If you've ever seen an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" which is filmed at Kleinfeld's of New York City, you'll find dresses that run the gamet from $1500.00 - $50,000.00. I've watched it just to see what Bridezilla's and their families act like - morbid curiosity - and I've yet to see the $50,000.00 dress but I've seen several running from $10,000 - $29,000.00 so it is sooooooooooooooo possible for a bridezilla to find a dress that expensive. Some of the veils run in the thousands as well. Shoes do not surprise me. Wedding budgets on this show run anywhere from a few thousand to quarter of a million or more. Based on the numbers quoted, I would not assume it's a farce. My own niece's wedding (Dh's side of the family) ran quite steep. Her Bostonian in-laws chipped in $20,000.00 for the rehearsal activities and her bouquet, the groom (A vice-president for Abercrombie and Fitch) put in $10,000.00 of his own, she put in $5000.00 of her savings, and each of her divorced parents chipped in $20,000.00 each. So around $75,000.00. Oh, and when dh's mother-in-law went down for the festivities, her daughter (mother of the bride) conveniently misplaced her purse for two days and had granny paying for items with the promise she'd pay her back after the wedding and then never did. Total cost to retired granny whose monthly retirement income is only $2400.00 per month and whose savings is down to $50,000.00 - two grand. They stuck her for two grand. Mr. Vice-President of a major clothing firm has done nothing about it either! To the OP, I have been in your husband's shoes. Not about hair, but when one of my former bridesmaids was engaged to a very bad man. Well, he didn't appear to be very bad, but the situtation had ALL of the warning signals and the future m-i-l was scary to say the least...as in...invited her future daughter-in-law to her home for a wedding planning session, gave her a tour of the house, showed her to the guest bedroom and then LOCKED her in for 24 hrs. The fiance defended his mother!! This was about 20 years ago. I felt that there was a bigger issue than friendship. She was just sooooooo in love and thought everything would be okay after they married. I finally sat her down and had a heart to heart knowing that our friendship would be over, but I could not in good conscience keep quiet. I had to be able to live with myself. So, I gently, gently said my peace and then bowed out of the wedding so she could go on with it without angst if that was what she chose. She did....it ended in divorce three years later with her in counseling and on meds for anxiety disorders and PTSD...he didn't beat her, but the mind games from him and his family were relentless which is what I had expected. My advice is this...if your dh says anything, the friendship may be over. But, what he does for Locks of Love is very, very important. Very few men donate hair for this purpose so male cancer survivors have few options and men in their middle ages tend to have slow hair regrowth. Some work jobs where being bald in the boardroom isn't the best...unfortunately, we have a looks oriented culture. So, his "ministry" is just awesome. Cutting his hair for bridezilla, well, I can't see ANY good that is going to come of that. I guess my suggestion is that your dh just bow out of the wedding gently and then show up that day with a grin on his face and hug his dear friend. Hopefully, bowing out gracefully will allow him to still be invited to the wedding. I doubt that his friend will change his mind though the indications are not good for the longevity of the marriage. As for Miss "I've got expensive tastes" marrying a substitute teacher. I've seen this kind of thing. The reason for it in the instances I know of (one of which is my brother's current wife) is that they are so high maintenance that none of their relationships work out or they don't even get to the relationship part because after one date, the guy is running for his life. So, if they manage to ensnare a guy and "the wedding of my dreams" is their goal not the wedding, they'll take the guy who can't sustain him in style and then make his life miserable because they can't have what they want. Ask me how I know? My sil does this every.single.day. to my brother who know works 96 hours per week, two jobs, so she can have the entirety of the income from one of those jobs all.to.her.self.! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) I too about crapped my pants when I read the "another $50k" comment. My dress was $230, that included the veil and the alterations to it. The pastor's fee was $25 and the church fee was $50. Honeymoon was a trip to Gatlinburg. Pictures were $500, and that was EVERYBODY's pictures. Food at the reception was $600, and paid for by the inlaws, who insisted on a buffet. We were going to do cake and punch. Oh, cake was $200. So the wedding was a whopping $1800. A week at a holiday inn 24 years ago was probably about $2-300. I would SO not cut my hair for the wedding. I had a guy in my wedding that was in a rock band (think 80's) He had the most gorgeous hair! My only beef was that his hair was more gorgeous than the bride's!!! Asking someone to be in your wedding 'if they XYZ' to me, means that you don't really accept them 100% as who they are. jmho I just read $11,000 for the SHOES????? 29k for the dress is very much over the top, but didn't shock me as much as 11k for a pair of shoes. Really. how much of the brides shoes do you see? 29k for the dress is too much, in my opinion, but at least we get to see it. SHOES????? Edited July 3, 2011 by cin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Did these two get any kind of pre-marriage counseling? They both sound rather immature, frankly. OR maybe he is just kind of stuck not knowing how to escape this whole thing. I would say risk the loss (probably only temporary) of the friendship and save this man form this bride.So sorry this has dumped all kinds of stress on you and your hubby. P.S. There is NO reason for him to cut his hair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 My advice is this...if your dh says anything, the friendship may be over. But, what he does for Locks of Love is very, very important. Very few men donate hair for this purpose so male cancer survivors have few options and men in their middle ages tend to have slow hair regrowth. Some work jobs where being bald in the boardroom isn't the best...unfortunately, we have a looks oriented culture. So, his "ministry" is just awesome. Faith Just to clarify: http://www.locksoflove.org/faq.html#Ac2 Only children under 21 are qualified to have a LOL hairpiece. They provide hairpieces and repairs free of charge or on a sliding scale based on the financial need of those responsible for the children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Just to clarify: http://www.locksoflove.org/faq.html#Ac2 Only children under 21 are qualified to have a LOL hairpiece. They provide hairpieces and repairs free of charge or on a sliding scale based on the financial need of those responsible for the children. Thanks for the clarification! I wonder where they guy our church got his piece??? He's a middle aged Leukemia survivor and I gotta say, it looks very real. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Maybe you could watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory together and not-so-subtly comment that the Veruka Salts of the world don't change. ;) I would refuse to get the haircut on principle. What they decide to do after that is up to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) My dress was $230, that included the veil and the alterations to it. The pastor's fee was $25 and the church fee was $50. Honeymoon was a trip to Gatlinburg. Pictures were $500, and that was EVERYBODY's pictures. Food at the reception was $600, and paid for by the inlaws, who insisted on a buffet. We were going to do cake and punch. Oh, cake was $200. So the wedding was a whopping $1800. A week at a holiday inn 24 years ago was probably about $2-300. Here's the thing. I'm sure lots of us could play this game. I mean, when I got married 17 years ago, I bought a $200 dress that was supposed to be part of the bridesmaid collection. We bought my husband's inexpensive tux mail order, and I think it was under $100. We paid the minister, but I don't remember how much. We paid to use our church, but it was also a very small amount. We did not pay for professional photos (one of the very few things I regret). Instead, we gave out single-use cameras and asked our guests to take pictures, which we then developed after the wedding. The church choir, of which I was a member at the time, sang for the service as their gift to us. We did make a small donation to the church in return. We did a desserts and fruit reception in our apartment. I assembled the fruit platters and made my own cake. Our honeymoon was three days in Atlantic City. Counting everything (including clothing for the maid of honor and best man), ours clocked in a just under $3000. But I think people like us are the exceptions. I think it's not at all uncommon to have weddings that cost as much as a nice, new car or the down payment on a house. If that kind of thing were rare as folks in this thread are making it out to be, the whole wedding industry would collapse. With that said, I think this bride is being so unreasonable that it's hard to find words. And, yes, I think it's probably a warning sign. And, yes, I think good friends have a responsibility to gently tell the truth when they see loved ones making a terrible mistake. (Personally, I think it should be the job of EVERY best friend to call the night before the wedding and say it's still okay to back out.) And, no, I would not cut my hair in the husband's situation. Instead, I would gently and sincerely explain to the groom that I do not want to cause friction between him and his bride and would offer to step aside as best man. But I would try to do it all with as much compassion as I could muster and, if the wedding went ahead, with out without me as a member of the wedding party, I'd attend and smile and congratulate them both. Edited July 3, 2011 by Jenny in Florida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I have to admit that I sometimes assume the worst, and I'm envisioning a Dateline mystery special featuring this couple. The newlyweds disappearing on a honeymoon boat excursion. Turns out the "wife" has been stashing the in-laws wedding contributions, bilking vendors with bad checks, then vanishes after staging the husband's demise to look like a tragic accident. Authorities start connecting the dots after three similar cases, only to discover it's the same woman under several assumed names. She'll finally be arrested somewhere in the Bahamas, but elude jail staff before the trial and the airing of the TV special. If I was your DH, I would talk to the guy. And if he still wants to marry her, beg him not to take a honeymoon cruise! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 :iagree: They are all nuts. Him for putting up with her crap, her for being a whiny baby and the parents for shelling out the money. They all deserve each other. :iagree: We can only hope that the newlyweds figure out their mistake and part ways before they bring children into the world. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Did you see how many of us are oldest children? This story is stressing us out!! She has never had a job. He is a substitute teacher. She has the taste of one of those reality show housewives-of- women. They are GETTING MARRIED? How is going to keep her? Where are they going to live? Oh, the impracticality of it all!!! If the OP's DH does talk to this groom, he should also mention that a woman with extremely high taste like that probably doesn't bat an eye at debt. I would be worried this poor substitute teacher is going to be up to his eyeballs in debt within months after the wedding. I would be worried she will justify a really expensive car, a big house, etc. It reminds me of the song Everything She Wants by George Michael, every single line! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeytolily Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Wow, your DH really must - gently - talk to Drew about this situation. He should NOT cut his hair (or dye it!). A close friend should be honest and want the best, even if it means giving up a friendship. I don't think that would happen, but it is a risk DH must take. Otherwise, how could he live with himself when things only go from bad to worse? No, he must say something. As far as costs of weddings, well, these days many weddings cost $25k+. No, they don't have to, but many people DO plan fancy weddings. The issue here is that obviously no one can really afford the wedding that the bride wants. If her parents were rich, she wouldn't be asking the groom's parents for money. It's obvious that they aren't rich (they shouldn't have to drain their savings for this, even if they DO have that much), and the couple themselves don't have it to spare. So, yes, she is being extremely selfish and inconsiderate in demanding an extravagent wedding, not to mention the whole hair thing. Not a good sign of things to come! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 If I were Nick's friend or relative, I would be worried that he is going ahead with the wedding because of all the money that has already been spent, figuring he can make the marriage work. IMO, just in case, his parents need to tell him it is better to waste $65,000 than to be in a horrible marriage, if they are going to talk to him about this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Did you see how many of us are oldest children? This story is stressing us out!! She has never had a job. He is a substitute teacher. She has the taste of one of those reality show housewives-of- women. They are GETTING MARRIED? How is going to keep her? Where are they going to live? Oh, the impracticality of it all!!! I'm an oldest child too, and I agree wholeheartedly. It sounds like neither the groom nor Bridezilla have thought this all the way through. I would just continue to be supportive of [the groom], but try to stay out of the couple drama. I would continue to say that DH will cut his hair, so it isn't about him. The Groom has to decide what he wants to do and you don't want either one of them blaming you guys. You don't want your DH to lose his dear friend if they get married and the bridezilla decides that the trouble in their relationship all stems from your DH and works to cut off the friendship. I agree; however, I think that IF the groom opens the door for the OP's dh to say something, this is good advice to follow: I would suggest dh and friend go out alone one evening and have a heart to heart. Dh needs to ask if there is something else going on besides the hair "issue." Then he needs to sit back and listen. No need to express opinions etc., he simply needs to let his friend know that if there is something he wants to talk about or get off his chest, he is there to listen. But if the groom doesn't bring it up... I would not cave into the others wanting your to do the dirty work and talk to the groom. If they think it is so important, then they should talk to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I would just continue to be supportive of him, but try to stay out of the couple drama. I would continue to say that DH will cut his hair, so it isn't about him. The Groom has to decide what he wants to do and you don't want either one of them blaming you guys. You don't want your DH to lose his dear friend if they get married and the bridezilla decides that the trouble in their relationship all stems from your DH and works to cut off the friendship. I would not cave into the others wanting your to do the dirty work and talk to the groom. If they think it is so important, then they should talk to him. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I have to admit that I sometimes assume the worst, and I'm envisioning a Dateline mystery special featuring this couple. The newlyweds disappearing on a honeymoon boat excursion. Turns out the "wife" has been stashing the in-laws wedding contributions, bilking vendors with bad checks, then vanishes after staging the husband's demise to look like a tragic accident. Authorities start connecting the dots after three similar cases, only to discover it's the same woman under several assumed names. She'll finally be arrested somewhere in the Bahamas, but elude jail staff before the trial and the airing of the TV special. If I was your DH, I would talk to the guy. And if he still wants to marry her, beg him not to take a honeymoon cruise! I see you belong to my club. Do you have a hat or would you like to borrow one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I see you belong to my club. Do you have a hat or would you like to borrow one? :lol: The truth is out there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) I have to admit that I sometimes assume the worst, and I'm envisioning a Dateline mystery special featuring this couple. The newlyweds disappearing on a honeymoon boat excursion. Turns out the "wife" has been stashing the in-laws wedding contributions, bilking vendors with bad checks, then vanishes after staging the husband's demise to look like a tragic accident. Authorities start connecting the dots after three similar cases, only to discover it's the same woman under several assumed names. She'll finally be arrested somewhere in the Bahamas, but elude jail staff before the trial and the airing of the TV special. If I was your DH, I would talk to the guy. And if he still wants to marry her, beg him not to take a honeymoon cruise! My mother in law said pretty much the same exact thing. My husband and Drew left for the soup kitchen a little bit ago. My husband is really hoping Drew brings it up himself but my husband is going to continue with his plan of what I mentioned on pg 7 - a simple "we love you and our house is open as long as you need to figure out what to do" kind of thing. And if he doesn't pursue a conversation, my husband will. Or at least try. Nick is just a big sweetheart and is not confrontational with anyone - so I'm not real sure what will happen :lol: Thank you all so so so much. Before this, we weren't planning on saying anything...just be silent and let them work it out. But now we feel like it's a necessity. I'm really glad I sought the help of the Hive. You all are awesome :001_smile: ETA: I forgot, Nick will not be cutting his hair until he knows the future state of their union. So, yay. :) Edited July 3, 2011 by july19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koerarmoca Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 She sounds like a nutbag, and the groom needs to run like the wind! As someone who spent $200 at a consignment shop for her own wedding dress 17 years ago, I had to go on a quick google search about this. Monique Lhuillier, selling at Nieman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue, tops out at $10,000. Vera Wang bridal gowns begin at $2,500. They do not approach a cost above $20,000 unless Vera herself designs it and alters it for the bride. Who designed this gal's dress? I agree that is crazy high. Is the dress made of gold and dimonds? Did you see how many of us are oldest children? This story is stressing us out!! She has never had a job. He is a substitute teacher. She has the taste of one of those reality show housewives-of- women. They are GETTING MARRIED? How is going to keep her? Where are they going to live? Oh, the impracticality of it all!!! :lol: That's kinda what I'm thinking. I think y'all are being had, on some level. edited to add: And if you're not, the groom sure is! He ought to run for his life. Maybe come back when she grows up. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entropymama Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 This girl is nuts. I have a friend who spent $80,000 on her wedding... But they also had something like 800 guests and served dinner. $11,000 on shoes... There are starving children in the world! I'm afraid that a man who volunteers in soup kitchens and a woman who demands $11,000 shoes may have trouble balancing their priorities. This is better than a soap opera. Do please let us know how it works out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'd say "So tell me why I like your girl." If required, I'd follow up with, "Ok, I'll ask an easy question. Why do you like your girl?" Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 In 1993 our parents paid a grand total of $2,000.00 for our entire wedding excluding my engagement ring. I'm not impressed with people who are not incredibly independently wealthy spending a lot of money on a single day's celebration. I think it reflects negatively on their priorities. It's also a sign of immaturity-a bad sign for a marriage. I would feel morally obligated to say something if a friend of mine was about to enter into a clearly volatile situation-an obligation to them and to any possible future children that would be condemned to live in such a mess if they stayed together long enough to conceive. I think any invited guests who feel anything other than confidence at such a union should privately point out the issues they see with the bride or groom. Once they have, then they've done all they can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nature Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I would not get into the middle of their argument. However, if I was your dh, I would not cut my hair. Or if I did, I would ask for a comparable donation to be made to Locks of Love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I would not get into the middle of their argument. However, if I was your dh, I would not cut my hair. Or if I did, I would ask for a comparable donation to be made to Locks of Love. There you go. Tell the bride that your dh will only cut his hair if she cuts hers the minimum amount needed for a Locks of Love donation, and actually sends it in.:auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxanne23 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 (edited) . Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Tell her it will cost $50,000 for him to get his hair cut! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiKC Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hmmm.... :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 That show is a guilty pleasure for me! Me too. I love seeing the dresses. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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