Number of children you have

[Night Elf]

Before I was a married adult, I always pictured myself with 6 children. I have only 3 children, though I would truly have followed my heart and had more if I could have.

 

Do you have the number of children you always pictured you would have?

 

I realize some of you are still having babies, lucky ducks!! I'm wondering about those of us who are not planning anymore babies. And of course, some of you will have lovely surprises too!

[lionfamily1999]

I actually do, three. However, I was hoping for two girls and one and ended up with the reverse :p It doesn't matter though, I have the right number (and genders) of children, it fits me better than my original hopes would have.

[kamom]

Before I was a married adult, I always pictured myself with 6 children. I have only 3 children, though I would truly have followed my heart and had more if I could have.

 

Do you have the number of children you always pictured you would have?

 

I realize some of you are still having babies, lucky ducks!! I'm wondering about those of us who are not planning anymore babies. And of course, some of you will have lovely surprises too!

 

Same amount as you as you and figured at least 6

....well, I might get surprise yet :001_smile:

[Parrothead]

No. We wanted several more children.

[TheCoffeeChick]

I always wanted 3, but have 2. I wouldn't necessarily say I'll never have the 3rd (we're not going to do anything permanent), but we've said we're done.

[elegantlion]

I told my mom as a teen I would never get married or have children. I wanted to travel in a Jeep with a husky dog beside me. :D

 

Dh was also unsure about children.

 

So we have one more than we planned. I will admit ds is the coolest thing ever, and I'm sure our lives would have been boring (beyond boring) without him.

 

Did we crave more children after he was born? No. We touched on the subject of adoption several times since he was born. We've always come to the conclusion we like our family size just the way it is.

[Joker]

We wanted 4 but ended up with 2. Both dds have airway problems and the second is more complicated than the first.. We did try for #3 and lost the baby at the same time we were learning about all of second dds complications so it seemed like a good idea to stop.

[BlsdMama]

In the back of my head I thought I'd like a biggish family... Five?

DH wanted one.

 

We're expecting Baby #10 in June.

[mom4him]

I have five children and when I was young I envisioned myself with 6. We had our first 3 but with the last was determined that I would not have any more children. I mourned that lose for several years. Finally found peace with it. Then in my early 50's, my husbands mid 60's we decided to start doing foster care. Very quickly I felt that we would adopt and it would be a sibling group. I guess I assumed it would be a group of 3.;) We had several things against us though, age being one of them, we were primarily caring for Native American children and we are very white(this was a biggy), AND we are Christian which also didn't follow well with placement of Native American children in our home on a permanent basis.

 

Well, God had a plan. We had our two youngest placed in our home and after over 1 1/2 yrs and great turmoil and heart ache, we were allowed to adopt them. Any way you look at it God preformed a miracle.

 

We only had one other child in our home after we adopted our two and realized that season was over for us. I asked the Lord one day where my 6th child was going to come from and it was almost like He chuckled and told me, "Think about it My daughter, I gave you "T". He is worth 2." Boy has that ever played out right.:001_huh::lol::001_huh::lol::001_huh::lol::lol:

[JudoMom]

I always thought I'd have 1 boy and 1 girl (mostly because that is what was expected, not because I had a burning desire to be a Mom), and then when I met dh, we joked about having 10 (I became a believer after I met dh, and my opinions from my first 20 years of life changed rather dramatically and quickly).

 

We have 5, and will most likely not have any more. I was always open to the idea of more, but now I'm on some medicines for my autoimmune hepatitis, and they are known to cause birth defects. Given that, and given the fact that I do have a chronic illness, I don't think we will have any more. Of course, maybe we'll adopt :).

[Paintedlady]

I always envisioned having 4 but didn't count on being infertile. I consider myself blessed to have adopted the 2 kids I have. If I could have gotten pregnant I probably would have 4, but couldn't stand to go through the adoption process more than twice. It was too much.

[Tarreymere]

I sort of thought I would have possibly two. Right now I have ten - six birth, two adopted and two step-once-removed (their mom died and I marrried their stepdad). I would love to have more but I think that isn't going to happen (I'm 46). I do think I am probably going to be raising one of my grandsons, however.

 

Strange how things work out.

[Giraffe]

I thought we'd have 2, maybe 3. We have 1 and that seems to be it for us. At 43 I don't hold out too much hope. I'm ok with it, now.

[FaithManor]

We have four (one girl, three boys) and my first pregnancy was a miscarriage (six weeks). We really wanted five, but if I had become pregnant again, I probably would have died. My youngest is now almost 11 and I am just now getting the blot clotting, anemia, low potassium, etc. thing under control. I could probably have another one safely and I would love to but dh is scared. Additionally, there could be infertility issues because I have entered periM or as I like to call it, "The decade of weirdness before the monthly fairy stops visiting." I'll be 43 soon.

 

Given that I nearly bled out after our third and that our fourth was the miracle child conceived while using NFP, C****ms, and progesterone pill (still nursing ds), and I wasn't supposed to live through and did, I am very, very thankful that we have these four and they all made it safely through and won't be pursuing another pregnancy at this stage of life.

 

Faith

[lllll]

...

[Plucky]

I used to not want kids. Then I wanted one, and then another. I never planned on having 4, but they were so fun I wanted more. Dh did not. I am happy with my little brood. It's just the right number for me.

[1bassoon]

Dh swears we had a discussion about having 5 kids.

 

I do NOT remember that discussion!!!

 

I knew I wanted more than 2 (which is what I grew up with), but never really had a # in mind. So thankful and blessed with what the Lord has done in our family, though. :D

[flobee76]

I always pictured myself having 2 children. We have 3.

 

I want more.

 

I really do. Hubby does as well. I would like to lose weight, then get preggo. I need to be healthy again.

 

Children are so hard, but SO MUCH MORE JOY! I can't imagine my life without these kids... but I can imagine our life with MORE kids. :D

[Quiver0f10]

I said I didn't want to get married or have kids. I have been married 24 years and have 10 kids :lol:

[Jenny in Florida]

When I was a child and young teen, I honestly couldn't even picture myself with children of my own. I was an only child, never did much babysitting and just had very little contact with kids younger than myself. So, I don't think I had any idea what it would be like to care for children.

 

In the abstract, I talked about two kids. The fantasy was that I would have one biological child, then adopt another of the opposite gender.

 

So, in some ways, given that I now have one girl and one boy, I actually do have what I envisioned. But we didn't adopt either.

[missmoe]

I wanted 8 or 9, but ended up with 5.

 

I went through a mourning period about not having more children, but now realize my five is the perfect number.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I pictured myself with 6 kids. But, I met my husband a little later than I "planned." All dh's friends were taking bets on whether he would have 6, 8 or an even dozen:). But, the fact that I had my first child at 30 and the reality of the exhaustion of raising children made that "dream" impossible. After all the issues our second son had, dh was OK with stopping there, but I didn't feel our family was done. We stopped at 3 and I have no regrets.

[Susan in TN]

Nope. I expected about 3. After our 1st was born, dh said "I think that's enough." :lol:

 

Now it's dh who wouldn't mind more, and I'm more than happy to keep it at 6.

[Copswife]

Always had dreams (literally) of 6. We have five - four by birth, one through foster/adoption. That was a surprise and blessing!

So we have boy, boy, girl, girl, girl and still wrestle with/pray about a 6th! I think it will happen one way or another. ;)

[VeteranMom]

My husband and I went through infertility. We had boy/girl twins thanks to IVF. A short time after the twins were born, I became pregnant naturally with ds. I had always wanted 4 kids, but pregnancy didn't agree with me. I always ended up on bedrest and meds. All of my babies were premature, too. We decided to stop at 3. It was mostly dh who was "done" when we stopped, but now I'm ok with it and see that it was a smart decision for our family.

[kalanamak]

I expected to have none, but have one. Everyone was so taken off guard, when I told my mother I was expecting and that she would get to tell everyone, she said when told, "you're going to be an uncle again", guesses included my 60 year old sister adopting, my 50s brothers adopting or having knocked someone up, but NO one thought of me. :D

[DaffodilDreams]

I wasn't ever going to marry or have children. I planned to run off to NY and try to make into the Broadway scene. I was going to remain single and devote myself to my craft. Instead, I fell for my best friend and married him. We kept waffling on the decision to have a family, but dd finally came along. Now I can't imagine life without her. She's so much more fulfilling than any role on Broadway! :001_smile: But, as much as we love her, we also feel our family is complete. Anything can happen, of course, but we're quite happy being just the three of us.

[Rhonda in TX]

I have 2. I always wanted 6, but would have settled for 4. So, no, I don't have as many as I pictured. It makes me sad sometimes, but it was right that my DH got a say in this as well.

[Hwin]

We have one. There may be one more in the future, but unless I get pregnant with twins, we'll probably max out at two biologically. We are, however, certified foster parents and completely open to whatever child wants to stay with us, for however long :)

 

Life is pretty much as I have pictured it, except for the decision to homeschool:tongue_smilie:

[meena]

I alternately pictured myself with zero children and four children. During my no children stages, I questioned my ability to parent due to how I was parented. I pictured myself as the 'cool' aunt or neighbor lady.

 

Once I realized I could overcome my past and learn to be a good parent, I thought four was a good number. When my DH and I were dating, we had the child talk and agreed that four was a good number for us. We also had a desire to look into adopting one or more children at some point.

 

We have 3 children now and are 'done' with bio children (unless God throws us a curveball ;)). We are currently working toward being licensed as foster parents and are open to wherever that takes us, including adoption. So at this point, it's not quite the picture I originally had but I'm perfectly content with what I do have.

Edited April 15, 2011 by meena

[The Girls' Mom]

Before I met dh, I didn't want any. Now I have three :D

[yellowperch]

I always thought I'd have 1 (and a career) or 4 and a big rambling house with dogs and ponies. I have 5, no dog, and our house is not rambling by any means.

 

If I had met DH earlier and if we had reached a point of relative financial security (code word for "if we had paid off aour education debts") I would have liked to have had two more. Turns out I'm not bad at this and as crazy as it gets sometimes this is a pretty high-functioning and very happy house. But I'm 44, so really out the game.

 

But 5 is good. And DH is happy with that number, though again if we were younger he might think differently--he frets about college money needs coinciding with retirement and a real crucn with caring for our parents.

 

I love this subject. I could discuss endlessly.

[YourFidgetyFriend]

I used to want 6, but now I know I'm one and done.

 

I would like to adopt a child once my daughter get's older, though.

[Anita in NC]

We have three children. I really wanted four but my husband absolutely refused to have any more.

 

Now that my youngest is seven I couldn't imagine having any more.

[SailorMom]

We have the number we wanted - two. We both only wanted two from the very start.

[mom2scouts]

No, I always thought I would have 8 children. For some reason I was drawn to having a big family. After delivering 7 stillborn in the second trimester and having 3 early miscarriages, I'm happy with my 5 children.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

When I was a kid I always said I was going to have 10 kids. A pyschic once told me I'd have one more child than my mother's mother... that would put me at 10! (Went to the psychic for fun... it was just amusing that she'd pull that particular number out. :tongue_smilie:)

 

Well. I'm 25, single, and have one. :D I won't be having another until I finish my PhD, at that point I'll be 33 or so. I'd *like* to have another biological child, but due to some health issues I'll probably end up with a hysterectomy before then (and I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant anyways, I'm not going to count on two miracles!). Once I am in a permanent position I will likely become a foster parent and I'd like to adopt (probably special needs, minority or sibling groups.... kids that probably wouldn't get a home otherwise.)

I don't feel my family is complete right now, and am experiencing major baby fever, but I am grateful for DD, and if I don't ever have more I'll still be incredibly grateful.

[bluemongoose]

I have always wanted 5...DH has waverd between 4-6. I would like to adopt the 5th, but DH would rather not. We have 3 right now, and TTC a 4th, but that is not going so well.:crying: Hoping for soon!

[vettechmomof2]

hubby and I were always hoping for more children but things did not work out that way for us :angelsad2:

 

we did not have a planned number, just many but we are still very happy with our 2.

[abreakfromlife]

When we got married I said I wanted 4 or 5, and dh wanted 3 or 4, and we ended up with 5...4 of them due to birth control failures :D, not because I convinced him. I need a bunny icon, LOL. And.............I don't know what I was thinking. I don't think I had it thought through very well :tongue_smilie: But we're managing....heading out of toddlerhood, so the world seems a little bit hopeful again.

[tabrizia]

I always wanted 5, DH would have been happy with 1. After DS' recent birth the midwives and OBs have told me it really won't be safe for me to have anymore, so we are done at 3. Which I am fine with. DH wasn't willing to have more then 3 anyways, so I knew before I had DS that he was the last.

[blakereese]

Once I was married and actually really wanted kids (because of course when I was young I was NEVER going to get married, and certainly NEVER have kids :lol:), I always wanted 3. I don't know why, but that number was always in my head.

 

BUT...now that I have 3 I might want just one more. Maybe. DH...not so much. :lol:

[JenniferB]

I could not picture myself with children, LOL! When we first got married, my husband and I went to a brand new church, and the pastor asked us on our first visit, "are you family people, or business people?" I didn't even know how to answer that question! I was just like, "Uh, both, maybe? I don't know! We'll have to see, I guess." He kinda chuckled. That question stuck with me, even until now. We own a business, and I'm very business minded, but now we have 4 children, and so I guess we are "both." ;) :D

[Susan C.]

I always thought I wanted a large family, I scared guys away in high school when I said I wanted five kids. We have two, 1 dd and 1 ds. I am very happy with that. I was very ill while pregnant with both of them, then had problems after dd, so thought we should stop while we were all ok!

[southcarolinamom]

Before we were married, my husband and I thought we would have 4 ( we are each the oldest of 4 kids, and always liked that number).....HOWEVER, after 5 miscarriages, 2 laparoscopies, and MULTIPLE other fertility testings, the beginning stages of adoption proceedings, and a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis at the age of 38, God gave us 2 children.

 

Marriage counseling should include discussions of infertility. It happens a lot more than we ever realized.

[JenniferB]

Before we were married, my husband and I thought we would have 4 ( we are each the oldest of 4 kids, and always liked that number).....HOWEVER, after 5 miscarriages, 2 laparoscopies, and MULTIPLE other fertility testings, the beginning stages of adoption proceedings, and a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis at the age of 38, God gave us 2 children.

 

Marriage counseling should include discussions of infertility. It happens a lot more than we ever realized.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[HSMom2One]

I always wanted four children and a loving marriage. You can imagine how disappointing it was then when I ended up going through a divorce and was forced by circumstances to be a single parent to my three sons. It was heartbreaking to see my family torn apart, and to go on with life as a single parent for seven long years. I completely gave up my dream of a happy, secure marriage and life with four children. Then seventeen years ago I met my dh and, although we didn't plan it this way, we ended up with our sweet little "late in life surprise". So in the end, I did get that fourth child and I am happy to say that I have ended up with a loving marriage and family.

 

God is good.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[jenL]

I always only wanted 2 and Dh felt the same. We only have 2, but it took us a long time to decide to go from 1-2 because after having one, we felt overwhelmed! :lol:

[MinivanMom]

I'm one of four and dh is one of four. I always pictured myself with four. Now I have four and I know I'm not done. I'm thinking . . . maybe two more?!

[Mejane]

Nope. I was adamant I'd have none, and I have two. There are days I wish I'd stuck to my original plan. ;)