Question about why or why not you would censor your child’s reading material.

[Red Dove]

For those of you that don’t censor any of your children’s reading material, why? What is the argument for letting them read whatever they get their hands on? Do you have a line somewhere? As in, if your child was reading a very graphic novel, would you still let them? If you don’t censor, are you ok with them watching any movie they want? 

For those of you that do censor, where is your line drawn? What is your argument for keeping certain things from your child? 

 

[rebcoola]

I dont really limit childrens reading.  Reading is not the same as viewing to me I dont think it has the effect on developing brains as viewing tv or movies.  We have had discussions of merit but I have yet to stop a child reading something.  I admit I havent had a kid interested in YA which seem to be pretty questionable at time. They pretty much go from kids books to adult novels.

I was never censored and read content that im sure people would deem inappropriate Last of thr Mohicans as a 9 yr old.

 

Edited July 26, 2023 by rebcoola

[WildflowerMom]

I censored tv, but didn’t have to censor reading as much.    Now my kid is 21 and looking back i wish I’d done even more censoring (tv), but hind sight is 20/20.    Children’s brains are not equipped to handle adult situations.   I don’t know anyone who has never censored at all.   Well, actually I had an acquaintance who did that, but he was crazy.  

Edited July 26, 2023 by WildflowerMom
Clearing up what I meant to say 🤪

[Katy]

In theory I wouldn't censor much. I don't care about kids learning about sex & violence.  At least kids who haven't had a lot of trauma and who we've spoken to about sex and who are over the age of puberty.  I'm not condoning porn, but novels?  I don't have much problem with it in general. I might have discussions about perspectives and fantasy and reality.  My reading wasn't censored as a kid, and for that matter I was able to watch R movies with sex and my mom's house and R movies with violence and my dad's house. I'm like them and not particularly inclined to artificially shelter kids.

In reality we spent quite a long time being foster parents, and I was sometimes surprised by how much CHILDREN's media has a ton of sexual innuendo that goes right over the heads of most kids but is EXTREMELY triggering to kids with traumatic pasts. And for that matter, narcissistic and violent characters can be triggering too. And if I notice that a kid is triggered or is abusive to another child after a certain media, I ban it. And in the case of Netflix, I cancelled it and never turned it back on, even after, idk, 6 or 7 years have passed.  So I guess, like many things, this depends on the child.

[Bambam]

I censored some. What line - it wasn't firm. Varied per child and age. 
I had one child that for many years could not handle serious conflict at all in her reading. So, I didn't assign her anything with serious conflict. 
That child also read a semi-scary book fairly young. I warned her because she had a great imagination, but she wanted to read it. She brought it back, told me she should have listened to me, and asked me to hide any books like that because she did not want to read any like that again. 
So, yes, I did do some censoring. There are some things that elementary kids just don't need to read about IMHO. If you have earlier readers, not everything they can read is appropriate. 

 

[Shoeless]

I wouldn't call what I did censoring. When ds15 was little, I would steer him toward books I knew he liked. When he was a tween, I would tell him "This book is popular with kids your age, but it has some romance and boyfriend/girlfriend stuff in it", and let him choose if he wanted to read it. 

Now that he's an older teen, I won't stop him from reading something iffy, but I won't go out of my way to get the book for him or suggest it. I won't stop him if he wants to read Lolita, but I'm not going to suggest it to him, either. 

[BusyMom5]

I censor, and I really wish the Powers that Be would start rating books like they do movies.  There is a wide range of what is allowed depending on age and sensibilities.  By 16-ish, I'm usually good with most things, but I wouldn't allow pornography at any age,  and also some books are very.... distasteful... in the way they present stuff.  I hate to see women objectified or "used" by male characters.  

[catz]

I don't feel I really censored.  One kid of mine in particular was quite precocious and just saying no to something he was interested in just made it forbidden fruit.  But he was homeschooled from age 7 on, I was with him most of the time.  I steered him toward things I thought would be of interest.  We had technology in main areas of our house at all times and extreme limits on that during elementary school.  He was very pragmatic with reading and discussing books somewhat beyond his age.  Like I think he got through all the Harry Pottery books at age 6 and 7.  And it never carried through to anxiety or any day to day issues.  He was a super avid reader.  My 2nd kid didn't read as much for pleasure, though she was also somewhat precocious.  They didn't have access to anything super crazy though.  We did read and discuss some books often used in high school lit classes in middle school.

I don't know.  I was just parenting the kids in front of me.  I had friends with kids that couldn't handle any sad books, historical books,  etc. and would be sleepless or anxious or would role play due to it.  And if I had a kid like that, I definitely would have been making different choices.  I assume people are making choices for the kids in front of them.

[Indigo Blue]

We exposed our children to books, movies, etc. on the basis of age appropriateness.  Not general age appropriateness, age appropriateness for each of them as an individual. We knew them best. We did the best we could with our discernment. We weren’t perfect, and neither are our children. It was our job to do as parents, and we did what we thought was right and best. FOR THEM. 

[Annie G]

I censored youngest dd’s reading at times. She was reading chapter books when she was 5, and by the time she was 7 or 8 she was making selections from the YA section in the library. Several had themes I felt she was too young to be exposed to on her own. Now, I read aloud to my kids daily until they were high school age, and I did tackle some mature books as read alouds. 

My argument was simple…knowing how to read at an adult level didn’t mean she was mature enough to be exposed to adult problems. 

[Pawz4me]

I never censored our boys' reading material because I was never censored. I read many, many books that some adults would have undoubtedly said were beyond my maturity level. But I've never felt it did me any harm. On the contrary, I think being allowed the freedom to read whatever interested me was overall very helpful to my development and education. But neither I nor the boys are easily influenced or overly emotional. I have no doubt there are some kids who benefit from careful censoring.

[Heartstrings]

I only censor with little kids for the most part.  Once they're tweens or so I don't really.   I do look a little more closely at anything YA, some books in that category are really heavy on the emotional manipulation stuff.  

 

My reading wasn't censored and I got quite an "education" from some of the books I read, but I don't feel like it harmed it.  Honestly I grew up in a pretty prudish household and I think reading about s*x and stuff in books was overall helpful in developing a healthy view of it.  

Edited July 26, 2023 by Heartstrings

[itsheresomewhere]

I don’t censor what my kids read.  My mother did censor what I read when I was younger but I found ways and read what I wanted anyway. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

Sort of?  My thirteen year old read The Hunger Games in school this year.  I probably wouldn’t have allowed it much earlier than 13 because I know he wasn’t emotionally ready to handle the topics. My 11 year old daughter though would probably be fine with it, but isn’t interested.  So it depends on the kid.

Strangely, my parents, who heavily restricted movies/TV basically to the old Feature Films for Families movies, let us have a free for all at the library. I have no idea why my mom didn’t pick up on the fact that I was reading YA novels pretty young and what a lot of those contained. Like just absolutely oblivious. I do remember her banning The Sweet Valley Twins, but I think it was more on literary merits than content.

[lewelma]

Censoring is a strong word for what I did.  I simply told my kids that the book had xxx in it and I didn't think that they would like it.  They could overrule me if they wanted, but they trusted me and never did.  Game of Thrones, for example. I told my 16 year old ds that the person at the bookstore felt quite strongly that ds should wait until he was 18, that there was torture, sexual violence, etc.  DS was good with that recommendation, and read something else. 

I am actually more concerned about the deep seated racism in classics that is insidious. 

Edited July 26, 2023 by lewelma

[Rosie_0801]

I tossed out anything that reeked of B-grade Disney movies with the "I'm sooooo sorrrrryyyyy" self flagellating crap, whether that character was at fault or not.

When she was a teen I told her to stay away from Twilight and that kind of DV stuff. You are what you consume, and all that.

Now she's 16, she self regulates just fine. She doesn't want to feed her own trauma. The poor kid had to suffer through PTSD attacks in her English class. She's certainly not going to look for more than that.
 
Others wanted her watching nothing but G films even in year 8 and tried to ban her from reading anything with intimacy (like Tamora Pierce,) which was overridden. That person also tried to ban LGBT themes, but left the graphic novel lying around so dd read it anyway. That person was a librarian too, so I never did understand their push for dumbed down, poor quality lit. I suppose their job was to promote modern authors that kids would "relate" to. I've never seen that successfully produce readers though maybe it does where I haven't seen.

We're actually promoting clean romances at the moment to help with trauma. Not a thing one imagines doing as a parent, but life is weird.

[historically accurate]

I only censored with oldest really since she learned to read at age 3 and was reading longer chapter books by Kindergarten age. So from age 5-10, I worked really hard to find books appropriate to her age but at a high reading level. I never really stopped her from reading something if she really wanted to though; I just steered her toward what I thought was age-appropriate.

The younger two didn't read as young, so I didn't have to worry as much. Beyond that, I had a fantastic reading list leftover from oldest, so I re-used a lot of the same books.

I didn't censor much at all after age 11 or so; in fact, I can't remember a single book I didn't allow after age 12. I did space out the Harry Potter series, and the Hunger Games wasn't until age 12. We did discuss a lot of topics that came up in books. 

[Ottakee]

24 minutes ago, Annie G said:

I censored youngest dd’s reading at times. She was reading chapter books when she was 5, and by the time she was 7 or 8 she was making selections from the YA section in the library. Several had themes I felt she was too young to be exposed to on her own. Now, I read aloud to my kids daily until they were high school age, and I did tackle some mature books as read alouds. 

My argument was simple…knowing how to read at an adult level didn’t mean she was mature enough to be exposed to adult problems. 

This was me as a kid.  I was reading fluently before Kindergarten and I never remember not knowing how to read.

That said, I read some books that were well beyond my maturity level and it ruined them for me.  Even Little Women.  I read it very young and didn’t like it but likely would have at an older age.

I also read books with themes and situations beyond what I needed at young ages.   I was given a free for all at the library.  
 

i wish I had had some more guidance and someone telling me to wait a few years for some books.  Not really censoring, just waiting for the right maturity/age level.

[Momto6inIN]

I teach my kids how to self-censor from a young age because there was simply no possible way for me to pre-read every book they ever wanted to read. If you're reading something and it sets off bells that maybe you shouldn't be reading this or there is something inappropriate or questionable in it, set the book aside and talk to Mom about it. I tell them that I have to do this too because as a Christian there's all kinds of books I can start to read but that make me feel icky or make unwanted thoughts arise in my head and there's nothing wrong with stopping reading and finding something else. It's an adult skill that needs to be practiced.

I do think there is damage that can be done by reading some novels too early. I was not censored or taught discernment in my reading choices and my parents had no idea what all I read about as a pre-teen. Lots of true crime and biographies of mass murderers and caveman porn (looking at you, Clan of the Cave Bear series which I had read several times by age 12). There are defintely thought patterns and images and words in my adult mind that I wish weren't there and I wish I could get rid of.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Momto6inIN

[Kidlit]

My older kids especially are precocious readers.  I did try to steer them toward "better" choices (which often for me had as much to do with literary quality as anything) but had pretty much quit by their young teen years. One is them had a penchant for adult nonfiction and while I know she read some things that likely went over her head, I don't think it hurt her.  I am fairly certain that with my kids heavy censorship would've bred resentment. I count one of my great parenting successes that right now all of my children are active and prolific readers.

[thatfirstsip]

18 minutes ago, lewelma said:

Censoring is a strong word for what I did.  I simply told my kids that the book had xxx in it and I didn't think that they would like it.  They could overrule me if they wanted, but they trusted me and never did.  Game of Thrones, for example. I told my 16 year old ds that the person at the bookstore felt quite strongly that ds should wait until he was 18, that there was torture, sexual violence, etc.  DS was good with that recommendation, and read something else. 

I am actually more concerned about the deep seated racism in classics that is insidious. 

The sexism, especially in some classic sci-fi which is otherwise technically "clean," worries me a lot more than violence or especially sex. I always thought I read Anne McCaffrey too young (11ish? 10?) because I remembered it as sort of sexually explicit; when I tried to reread in adulthood to see just how explicit it has been - boy howdy was the sexism and weirdish rape-makes-gay thing the disturbing part.

Don't even get me started on Heinlein. I'd let a kid watch game of thrones long before I'd give them a random "clean" Heinlein, even the juvenile novels.

[Farrar]

There's something to be said for age appropriateness. I encouraged age appropriate reading.

I actively discouraged racist and bigoted materials intended for children. Those were mostly barred to my kids. I mean, sometimes we encountered small parts in older books and we talked about them. But censored is a weird word. If they had found and wanted to read them, we'd have talked about it and even read parts together to discuss. But I definitely wasn't introducing that stuff and it pretty much never came up that there was, say, someone pushing GA Henty on them or something and they were dying to read it.

However, I didn't really censor anything else. I mean, a lot of the things that some parents might consider off limits weren't for us at all. I was fine with them reading about racism or tragedy or LGBTQ+ characters or some of the other things people talk about censoring these days. I was also fine with them reading books that had sex and drugs and so forth once they were young teens. In fact, I had required literature for English that featured gay characters, suicide, the Holocaust, lynching, the N word, sex, drugs, drinking... all kinds of things that are sometimes censored.

[Carol in Cal.]

There were things I avoided offering but would not have said no if DD found them on her own.

Actual censoring was specifically Arthur books, show, and video games.  They turned her into a rude smart ass, every time.  I talked with her about it, and said, Look, it's having this effect, can you control it and still read these?  Because if not we are going to have to stop having you exposed to them.  She tried but she couldn't and so that was that.  Based on that experience I postponed Tom Sawyer a lot, because the mocking sarcastic tone seemed like it would hit her the same way.

That's about it.

I  did not teach some books that were so violent or sexist that I didn't want to talk about them, but didn't prevent DD from reading them on her own.  Ha there been a lot of explicit scenes described in detail I might have censored but that didn't really come up.

[Terabith]

In general, I didn't think of myself as censoring reading material for my kids, just because I think it's pretty pointless and against my parenting philosophy.  In practice, my kids hated browsing at the library, and most books that came into my house were things I picked out, taking into account their interests.  When they were little, I read aloud a TON, and we did frequently encounter material that was racist or sexist.  (The Doctor Doolittle books especially come to mind, which my youngest LOVED the stories but were books I would never hand to a child who could read on their own.). I edited out racist words while reading, skipped over sections, and we talked a lot about stuff.  

I let my kids have free reign over librivox, but again, I did most of the downloading, so I picked most of their listening materials as well.  I definitely aimed for age appropriate literature. I also had one kid who was EXTREMELY sensitive to any kind of relationship or interpersonal tension, so she was seriously traumatized by books like Ramona, that are completely age appropriate, so I really kept that in mind when I was selecting books.  But if she had wanted to read something I thought would upset her, I wouldn't have forbid it, but I would certainly have warned her and talked about it with her.

[Annie G]

3 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

 

Actual censoring was specifically Arthur books, show, and video games.  They turned her into a rude smart ass, every time.  

For Dd, it was the Junie B Jones books. Every time. 

[cintinative]

I didn't read prior responses.  

This issue is probably more complex than we realize.  Each family/person has different ideas of what may or may not be appropriate.

My kids have really not been voracious readers. If they had been, it would be far more difficult for me to navigate.

I think there is an age at which I am okay with my kids reading content I consider to be mature. For example, the book 1984, I would not assign before junior year to my specific children. 

I was one of those children of the 80s that was given free reign of the library and I read VC Andrews and some other stuff that I don't care to remember. And yet, I do remember. I am a person that is pretty vulnerable to written descriptions, to images, and to songs.  They stick with me a long, long time.  So I am really sensitive to that. There is no reason that my 7th grade self should have been reading a book about incest.  But my parents had absolutely no idea what I was reading.  Some of it was just nonsense. Some of it was deeply troubling.  So I do think there is a role here for parents to determine what is best for their kid, considering the child's age, sensitivity, temperament, etc.  I don't blame my parents--I am Generation X and this was just the way things were. But I do think there is a place for screening content of books and determining if and when the child is okay to read them.

I have a friend with adopted children, one of which has PTSD from his pre-adoption time period. So generally she avoids Disney movies (re: orphans) and she has avoided books like The Mysterious Benedict Society. To most of us, it's a fairly harmless read, but to her child, it is a potential source of re-wounding.  

 

 

Edited July 26, 2023 by cintinative
clarity

[cintinative]

I don't consider this censoring, but I remember being very surprised that 6th grade classrooms were discussing The Giver.  I sort of lump it with Lord of the Flies in the category of "easy to read, but difficult to process."  I don't know what audience Lowry was shooting for with The Giver, but I am certain my boys were not ready to talk about (Spoiler alert: euthanasia) in 6th grade. 

[Janeway]

I need to do a better job censoring. We had library apps on the iPads only to find that when a friend came over, books with heavy sexual content went on to the iPads. I pretty much ended up canceling a lot of streaming services over questionable shows frequently being pulled up and being unable to lock them out. I wish I were better at keeping them off inappropriate materials, but stuff gets past me. I think parents should take an active role in raising their kids.

[Janeway]

22 minutes ago, Annie G said:

For Dd, it was the Junie B Jones books. Every time. 

My daughter has been imitating Wednesday Adams. I have cancelled those streaming services now. If only I could have her unwatch it.

[wathe]

When they were young children and pre-teens, I curated.  Censoring is too strong a word ---- nothing was strictly off-limits, but I was intentional about what was easily available.    Now that they are mid-teens, I'm in an advisory role.  So far so good.  They value my judgement and generally respect my recommendations.  We all talk a lot about what we are reading as part of our family culture, which helps; everyone knows what everyone else in the house is reading, and we often read the same books.

[Renai]

1 hour ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Now she's 16, she self regulates just fine. She doesn't want to feed her own trauma. The poor kid had to suffer through PTSD attacks in her English class. She's certainly not going to look for more than that.
 

My older daughter's 7th grade English class ruined reading for her, and almost traumatized her. She even asked the teacher if she could read a different book, but he told her she had to read that particular (award-winning?) book. She talked about it to me; she didn't appreciate all the cursing and graphic descriptions of the boy masturbating on "every other page" (her words). She really didn't want to continue to read that book. There was one other book she had to read in that class, not sexual, but just as bad. Again, she "had" to read the book. She HATED to read in that class. She no longer trusted the teacher to suggest a good book.

She was dyslexic, and just getting into reading the year prior (homeschooled). That English class ruined it for her. Wait, I'm wrong. She actually picked up books like the Odyssey, to "clear the brain of the trash" she had to read in class. She did not want that stuff in her head at that age. She was raised on the classical book list, Sonlight, and MFW book lists basically. Mostly good literature. Her first chapter book she read as a dyslexic was Diaries of a Wimpy Kid, lol!

Edited July 26, 2023 by Renai

[wathe]

1 hour ago, lewelma said:

I am actually more concerned about the deep seated racism in classics that is insidious. 

This has been a big issue for us.  Racism and sexism both.  Especially when DC were younger.  Doubly wounding for racialized kids, I think.  And especially hard to navigate for classical homeschoolers.

We avoided certain classics until they were older, and others we avoided altogether.   And then there was lots and lots of family discussion about racism,  sexism, white supremacy, and privilege.

[Rosie_0801]

21 minutes ago, Renai said:

My older daughter's 7th grade English class ruined reading for her, and almost traumatized her. She even asked the teacher if she could read a different book, but he told her she had to read that particular (award-winning?) book.

My dd was told to read 'The Giver' over the summer between grade 6 and year 7, and they didn't even "study" it in class until the last term of the year. I read it to her so she didn't have to read it alone and I felt nauseous by page 15. Unfortunately I didn't have the authority to tell them to stick it. They don't even assign the book in Germany until year 10. 12 year olds with dead siblings don't need to read about infanticide. 12 year olds don't need to read about infanticide at all.

Our education department disgusts me.

[Sneezyone]

25 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

My dd was told to read 'The Giver' over the summer between grade 6 and year 7, and they didn't even "study" it in class until the last term of the year. I read it to her so she didn't have to read it alone and I felt nauseous by page 15. Unfortunately I didn't have the authority to tell them to stick it. They don't even assign the book in Germany until year 10. 12 year olds with dead siblings don't need to read about infanticide. 12 year olds don't need to read about infanticide at all.

Our education department disgusts me.

12 yos in America regularly lose their siblings. My sib was almost six when we lost ours to gun violence. He was almost 16, on a bike, unarmed.

I don’t censor my kids. If they want to read or watch, I will express an opinion, but I will not tell them no. I will guide them through a discussion of what they saw, or read, or observed, but I will not bar them from learning. If they see things that are troubling, or upsetting, I will talk them through what they saw and how they felt as well as approaches to it. I will not sugarcoat or withhold reality from a child that seeks knowledge.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Sneezyone

[happypamama]

Censor is a strong word.  If a child were asking about a book, I would discuss with them my concerns.  It has not really been an issue.  There are some books I have purposely not suggested for various reasons, but if kids found them themselves, eh, okay.  I'm sure there are a few I'd veto completely.  Probably would not be thrilled and would quite possibly veto a young teen reading Clan of the Cave Bear, for instance. 

I will not require certain books.  "The Giver" made me feel ill when I read it as an older teen/young adult (I don't remember), and I determined then that I would never require it for my kids.  (Years later, I understand why.  My children lost a very real baby sibling that they all met and touched.  They don't need to read "The Giver" as kids if they aren't asking to.)

Edited July 26, 2023 by happypamama

[Lecka]

I took away a Stephen King book because I heard it had a gang rape scene, and the movie version didn’t have that part.  
 

It was not a big deal.  
 

This was an 11yo.  
 

I said there was some disturbing content and I got some comment “she didn’t want to read it anyway in that case.”  
 

I haven’t had a situation where there was a protest or a strong feeling of wanting to read a book.  
 

Conveniently I think the book was also just too hard for her at that age.  She was not someone where an advanced reader might really get into some stuff at a younger age.  I think that’s a real issue but I have not had it.  

[Rosie_0801]

55 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I don’t censor my kids. If they want to read or watch, I will express an opinion, but I will not tell them no. I will guide them through a discussion of what they saw, or read, or observed, but I will not bar them from learning. If they see things that are troubling, or upsetting, I will talk them through what they saw and how they felt as well as approaches to it. I will not sugarcoat or withhold reality from a child that seeks knowledge.

There's a huge difference between a child seeking, and mandated reading from people who assume all their charges have white bread lives and need an introduction to "the real world" without any meaningful supervision. Kids shouldn't spend their English classes having PTSD flashbacks of their siblings deaths.

There's not much point my trying to sugar coat reality for my kid and I've watched others damage her trying to. I don't understand why adults think it's fine to serve trauma up to children but we should "protect" them from anything that'd help them process it. 

[MercyA]

DD15 has always placed limits on herself due to her own comfort levels with various subjects, so I've never had to say "you can't read that." I'd actually like her to read more books with adult themes.

If I needed to place limits, I'd draw the line at very graphic sexual content and extreme gore or torture. I think both can be harmful. 

Like @cintinative, I read V.C. Andrews at a young age and I still *vividly* remember some scenes from those books. They weren't healthy for me. 

[Red Dove]

46 minutes ago, MercyA said:

If I needed to place limits, I'd draw the line at very graphic sexual content and extreme gore or torture. I think both can be harmful. 

Like @cintinative, I read V.C. Andrews at a young age and I still *vividly* remember some scenes from those books. They weren't healthy for me. 

Wow! I didn’t know anything about V.C. Andrews, so I looked her up. I wouldn’t be letting my child read that. 

[Shoeless]

3 hours ago, thatfirstsip said:

The sexism, especially in some classic sci-fi which is otherwise technically "clean," worries me a lot more than violence or especially sex. I always thought I read Anne McCaffrey too young (11ish? 10?) because I remembered it as sort of sexually explicit; when I tried to reread in adulthood to see just how explicit it has been - boy howdy was the sexism and weirdish rape-makes-gay thing the disturbing part.

Don't even get me started on Heinlein. I'd let a kid watch game of thrones long before I'd give them a random "clean" Heinlein, even the juvenile novels.

Dang, I don't remember the sexy stuff from Anne McCaffrey and I just handed DS15 a stack of her books! I read through many of them one summer I was stuck in Biloxi with nothing much to do, and all I got from them was "dragons dragons dragons".  I'm kind of glad he doesn't seem interested in them now! 

[Red Dove]

3 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said:

Strangely, my parents, who heavily restricted movies/TV basically to the old Feature Films for Families movies, let us have a free for all at the library. I have no idea why my mom didn’t pick up on the fact that I was reading YA novels pretty young and what a lot of those contained. Like just absolutely oblivious. I do remember her banning The Sweet Valley Twins, but I think it was more on literary merits than content.

My parents restricted my move/t.v. Watching, also. No PG13 until 13, no R, no Simpsons, no talk shows… My parents had a bunch of Feature Films for Families, too! One of my favorite movies was Split Infinity (if you remember that one) when I was a child. 

I don’t remember them ever restricting books I read. But I mostly stuck to Baby Sitter’s Club and other very mild reading.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Red Dove

[Melissa Louise]

Not at all. My kids read what they wanted to read. 

I was strict on television for the under 12's. 

[Dianthus]

Just now, Red Dove said:

My parents restricted my move/t.v. Watching, also. No PG13 until 13, no R, no Simpsons, no talk shows… My parents had a bunch of Feature Films for Families, too! One of my favorite movies was Split Infinity (if you remember that one) when I was a child. 

I remember that movie! Amelia Jean.

[Melissa Louise]

As for why I didn't, because I really resented my mother censoring my reading material. 

[Red Dove]

1 minute ago, Melissa Louise said:

As for why I didn't, because I really resented my mother censoring my reading material. 

You resented her for it? How much did she censor? Did she only allow you to read the books she picked out? Or did she occasionally say you can’t read something that you picked out?

[Melissa Louise]

Just now, Red Dove said:

You resented her for it? How much did she censor? Did she only allow you to read the books she picked out? Or did she occasionally say you can’t read something that you picked out?

The latter. 

Yep, I did. I thought her censoring was hypocritical and ridiculous. It's words on a page. I was quite capable of closing a book if I found it distasteful, even at 10 and 11. 

I just went behind her back and read things anyway. So it was a pointless activity. My thinking was, why have a power struggle over it? And also, if kids can't be autonomous readers of text, what's even the point? 

 

[Red Dove]

3 hours ago, Ottakee said:

That said, I read some books that were well beyond my maturity level and it ruined them for me.  Even Little Women.  I read it very young and didn’t like it but likely would have at an older age.

I also read books with themes and situations beyond what I needed at young ages.   I was given a free for all at the library.  
 

i wish I had had some more guidance and someone telling me to wait a few years for some books.  Not really censoring, just waiting for the right maturity/age level.

That’s why I’m not eager to give my children some adult classics, yet. I’m afraid it’s going to go over their head and I will ruin it for them. I want them to enjoy it when they are going to be able to understand it. 

[Red Dove]

3 hours ago, Momto6inIN said:

I teach my kids how to self-censor from a young age because there was simply no possible way for me to pre-read every book they ever wanted to read. If you're reading something and it sets off bells that maybe you shouldn't be reading this or there is something inappropriate or questionable in it, set the book aside and talk to Mom about it. I tell them that I have to do this too because as a Christian there's all kinds of books I can start to read but that make me feel icky or make unwanted thoughts arise in my head and there's nothing wrong with stopping reading and finding something else. It's an adult skill that needs to be practiced.

I do think there is damage that can be done by reading some novels too early. I was not censored or taught discernment in my reading choices and my parents had no idea what all I read about as a pre-teen. Lots of true crime and biographies of mass murderers and caveman porn (looking at you, Clan of the Cave Bear series which I had read several times by age 12). There are defintely thought patterns and images and words in my adult mind that I wish weren't there and I wish I could get rid of.

Thanks for this reply. You have a very good point. I need to work on teaching my children to self-censor. 

When I was a young adult, I put aside a few books due to self-censoring. Once it goes into your head, it doesn’t come back out. 

[Rosie_0801]

16 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

As for why I didn't, because I really resented my mother censoring my reading material. 

Did she say why?

 

My otherwise well over-protective mother (except for the stuff that really mattered) gave me a novel featuring FGM to read as a young teenager. Even though I knew it existed, I definitely didn't need a novel about it! I asked Mother Dear why she gave it to me and didn't get a meaningful answer. No trigger warning, even. 😕

[Melissa Louise]

8 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Did she say why?

 

My otherwise well over-protective mother (except for the stuff that really mattered) gave me a novel featuring FGM to read as a young teenager. Even though I knew it existed, I definitely didn't need a novel about it! I asked Mother Dear why she gave it to me and didn't get a meaningful answer. No trigger warning, even. 😕

Of course not! Just panic stations, 'you shouldn't be reading this!' and then confiscation.

I read anything one of mine read that I thought was 'advanced'. And then I'd make her have discussions about it, lol.

'Why Bella should have gone to culinary school instead of marrying a vampire'.