Laura Corin Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I've been watching the hair all over my body come and go, get thicker and wirier or thinner and greyer. But I just realised that my eyelashes aren't as full and long as they were. Apparently that's also part of healthy ageing. And it seems that I'm pretty vain about them. I've never worn eye makeup because I've had such defined eye shape. I just ordered some eye make up. What have you been surprised by as you age (whatever decade you are in)? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 As 50 is looming my friends and I are talking more and more about aches and pains and sleepless nights 😒. 40 was easy. Turning 50 just makes us seem old. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Dh and I always joke that in our 20s nine PM was the start of our evening. It was the time we and our friends were heading out to do things. Now, 9pm is time to start thinking about heading to bed. In our 30s we started having kids. We were sleep deprived, but we could manage. In our 40s, sleep became far more important, and we got to bed by 10pm. And we didn't function well without 7-8 hours. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 And my girlfriends from high school and I have been going to the beach together every May since we turned 40, so 13 years now. And this past May we all joked that we now need prune juice or a little "extra help" in that area. It is sad. Oh, and I book the place usually and for the past 3 years, I can't get a place that has stairs because 3 of our group can't do stairs anymore due to knee or other health issues. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonflower Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 (edited) I am 34. I can no longer stay up all night. I can sort of semi-function with fewer hours of sleep, maybe, for one night. But I used to be able to stay up forever! No more. Also sometimes my back hurts in the morning if I am in a higher weight period - I fluctuate between 130 and 145. 145 leaves me achy. My bad wrist, which I hurt at age 20 in a car accident, hurts when I use it too much. It didn't give me trouble for 15 years and now it is becoming a problem. I am prolapsed. I am incontinent post-baby or while pregnant. Like, no jumping jacks and preferably no coughing incontinent. I'm only 34! Mostly, though, I'm surprised by how silly I was as a younger person. Really I am not sure people should even be allowed to vote until 30. I definitely understand the age limit on running for office in the US (I think 35 for the presidency, lower for other offices). Edited June 23, 2019 by moonflower 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 23, 2019 Author Share Posted June 23, 2019 @moonflower I have a cube pessary for cystocele. For me it has been an easy fix. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonflower Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I am not ready to confront it yet. So far I just don't go out when I'm sick and I don't exercise in a bouncy sort of way. Yes, I realize this is not a good long term plan. I cannot stand the idea of a pessary; I don't use tampons, I can't even imagine, just no no no. Ugh, getting older is for the birds. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 The aches and pains and how easy they come on, how long it takes to get over any little injury. Yeah, the incontinence. I've been wearing pads all week while I've had bronchitis because the alternative..... The insomnia even when exhausted. The foods I can't eat anymore without feeling crappy. I'll be 50 in 36 days. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I am entering the When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple stage; and, I'll tell you, the freedom of not-much-caring what folks think of me more than outweighs the admitted irritations of aching joints and sagging parts. 14 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 23, 2019 Author Share Posted June 23, 2019 3 minutes ago, moonflower said: I am not ready to confront it yet. So far I just don't go out when I'm sick and I don't exercise in a bouncy sort of way. Yes, I realize this is not a good long term plan. I cannot stand the idea of a pessary; I don't use tampons, I can't even imagine, just no no no. Ugh, getting older is for the birds. I'm enjoying growing older, in general. There's a scene in the recent hit UK TV show Fleabag in which a post menopausal woman talks about how free she feels. That's me, most days. I'm 56. My mum lived independently until age 90. Fingers crossed. https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/19/kristin-scott-thomass-monologue-female-pain-fleabag-needs-watched-8939353/ 8 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I just turned 50 and feel great, pretty much like I did in my 20s, except for pelvic prolapse issues. I've heard that sometimes gets better after menopause, so I've got my fingers crossed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I have a list of foods I can't eat after 3pm (or I'll regret it in the evening - either reflux or keeps me awake). I enjoy coffee, not only because it's tasty, but for the digestive help it gives. The extra weight is harder to shake. And I have things like "bad knees" and "bad ankles." 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonflower Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I'm surprised, sort of, by how relationships just seem to fall off and not be replaced. I read somewhere that as you age, you lose connections sort of systematically until you die. That the peak of connection is actually childhood or young adulthood. I had friends in HS of course, and to some extent in college. Since then my friends have dropped off and the friendships I do have are shallower; also my dad died. and I was closer to him than anyone but DH. So I guess I'm surprised by how lonely it can be. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I can't say I'm surprised by these things, but I'm definitely bummed that they happened to me -- The immutable effect of gravity on the body. The inability to control weight creep, despite my absolute best efforts. The realization that decades (an adult lifetime) of healthy eating and exercising are no guarantees against chronic or serious disease. I mean of course all rational people know that on some level, but I'm guessing most of us delude ourselves, thinking it won't ever happen to us. (But it's not all bad--it's definitely made me more humble and more empathetic.) Realizing that there's a good reason for Early Bird dinner specials--eating too close to bedtime is a guarantee of feeling horrible the next morning. The food just sits in the tummy and doesn't want to digest, which makes me feel horrible and interrupts sleep. This has kind of surprised me -- The amount of wisdom, calmness and acceptance that has come with age. I look back and realize how very little I knew at 20, 30 and even 40. I suppose if I'm lucky enough to make it to 70 or 80 I'll look back and think the same about my 56 yo self. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonflower Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 6 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said: I have been most surprised by the effect age has had on time! It just flies by at an unacceptable rate. I remember as a teen feeling like time went so slowly- I was one who couldn't wait to grow up and have a spouse, a house, a kid, etc. It seemed to go by at a normal pace after that, but now it goes so fast I wish I could rein it back in. I feel like my Grandmother, here at the end of June thinking "next thing we know it'll be Thanksgiving and then Christmas!" I have a theory about this and have had this theory since I was 7 years old. It is this: we have limited brain capacity. So when you're 7, you have a lot of room for each experience. You can catalog and keep in your working memory or whatever a significant portion of the last 3 weeks or the last year or the last day. But when you're 14, you have less room, and when you're 34 you're just trying to keep up with remembering when the next choir concert is. So there's not as much room for storage, so you don't store as many things, so everything seems to go by super fast. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I'm 52 and hopefully toward the end of peri-menopause - thought I'd be done completely by now. Lately, my hair has been falling out more. I have thick hair, and it seems to have stopped for now, but for a few weeks, it was like a spring shed of an animal. This was a surprise, apparently hormonal. My feet hurt - I have arthritis in one of my big toes and can no longer wear any shoe with a heel over about 1 inch. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonflower Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 44 minutes ago, Pawz4me said: I can't say I'm surprised by these things, but I'm definitely bummed that they happened to me -- Yes! I was sure, at 20, that they'd have invented immortality by the time I was 30 or so. I am not even really kidding. I just assumed somehow I was special, I was never going to die, not really. The older I get the less sure I am that they're going to figure out immortality in time, or that I even want them to do so. I find reading literature written by older writers helps. U K Leguin is really good at this. She got old as she wrote and she thought about it all the way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 When I looked up in the bathroom mirror and saw my grandfather looking back at me. I look a lot like my mom and she looked exactly like her father. When I see the tourist bus load up at the hotel and realize I am not that many years away from that. When I realize that I have been friends with 2 of my good friends for almost 35 years....but we only feel 32...and we met in our teens. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Oh, and two doctors have said I have arthritis in my knee......I am still in great denial.....stupid doctors, what do they know? One even took an X-ray.....but nope, I do not have it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 23, 2019 Author Share Posted June 23, 2019 5 minutes ago, DawnM said: Oh, and two doctors have said I have arthritis in my knee......I am still in great denial.....stupid doctors, what do they know? One even took an X-ray.....but nope, I do not have it. I had a podiatrist and a physio tell me that I probably had arthritis, caused by wear and tear due to my lower leg not being set quite straight into my knee. I'd never noticed that in the previous fifty years but I can see it now. The doctor x-rayed and said yes, arthritis, but to carry on as I was, paying attention to getting lots of exercise and maintaining weight, so that when the inevitable knee replacement comes, I'll probably do fine. That sounds good to me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 That when I found my feet after my life was turned upside down, those feet would walk with a new determination towards things I never would have done before. Not because I didn't want to do them, but because I would have convinced myself I shouldn't or couldn't because kids or money or whatever other bs people/society managed to make me think. Now I'm all... screw them. I have hikes to go on every day. I have a 10 day girl friends only trip to Curacao to go to. I have waters to swim in and mountains to walk and damned if I'm going to let my kids think they should wait to enjoy life because of money or spouses or kids or dirty dishes. Hell no. Let's GO. We've only got 70ish years if we are lucky and I've already spent 45 of them, if I feel 45 went quick, the next 30 is going to blink by, so I don't have time to waste procrastinating on a "some day" that may never arrive. 13 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Increasingly curly hair, for sure. My hair was always very thin and straight and blah. A few months ago I saw my sister for the first time in a few years and she thought I'd gotten a perm! It is so curly now. A positive surprise - I went back to work at age 62 after not working for 20+ years, and I was surprised how quickly I was able to pick things up. (It is not difficult work, call center using a bunch of different computer applications to assist customers. There is a lot to remember, though.) I thought I would be slow and stupid. Maybe that's more of a self-confidence thing than an aging thing though. I am somewhat surprised at how easy it is to hurt my back now. I had never had any back problems. However... in my workplace there are mostly "mature" workers. In my group of about 12 people, I am the oldest (the youngest is I think about 48), but I am by no means the one with the most health problems. One person who just turned 50 has started using a walker. I haven't been the most physically active person and am overweight, so I am surprised I don't have more health issues. Good genes, I'm sure. I'm a bit surprised that I don't feel older. Most of my age peers seem so old to me. Not surprised exactly, but sad at how badly my face has aged. Droopy eyelids, and those lines from the corners of my mouth that make me looking angry all the time unless I make a conscious effort to smile. Resting bitch face. My mom had it too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Yeah. I'm finally putting my health checks first and I'm kinda regretting it. I need ear surgery and eye surgery within the next 4 years. And I swear I'm reaching the point where I'd rather have dental implants than ever have a root canal again. It makes me cranky. I just want everything to function, don't even need optimum function, so I can do things and it's a real PITA that now that I'm finally of an age and wisdom and mental state to do those things my body is like, haha old lady - nope. 😒 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Mine isn't so much about the physical aspect of aging....but more the mental part. I am surprised sometimes about how truly resilient some people are, and how absolutely whiny and lazy others are. It seems to go hand in hand. The people who complain the most about life struggles, seem to be the ones who are the least willing to work to overcome or change their lives. Sometimes people are stuck in a situation and just need to vent, I get that, but I am talking about those who don't improve what they do have control over. Whiny, lazy people seem to live every moment with the mental sludge holding them down. But on the converse, sometimes I see people who deal with an unbalanced amount of struggles and they just keep plugging along with a smile on their face, doing the best they can. These are the people who seem more blessed in some ways, because at least for part of their day, they seem to be able to let go of the mental sludge and enjoy the moment right in front of them. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah0000 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 2 hours ago, happysmileylady said: I think that the only thing that has actually surprised me has been how much curlier my hair keeps getting. But, I am only 41. I have plenty more years before I get old. I do wish menopause would just hurry up and get here. I am completely and totally done having kids, so I am completely and totally over having to deal with AF every single month. Just go away already. (If mom is any indication though, I have like ten more freaking years. At least.🙄) I'm surprised that I'm waiting for menopause as well. I'm only 35 and it was a big, big adjustment for me last year to learn I should not have more kids. Now I just want menopause to hurry on up and maybe some of my health issues will stabilize a little. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Yes! I don't feel older emotionally. Maybe it's because life has mostly been very physically demanding of me, so there's always been aches and pains? Idk. Mentally and emotionally I'm like, "Let's go! Woohoo!" But then I have thoughts I NEVER would have had 5 years ago. Like we are going to Silver Dollar City later this summer and my husband is annoyed that I'm really not interested in the rides. I LOVED amusement parks. But now I look at those rides jerking bodies up and down and sideways and all I can think is, "That looks like 6 months of chiropractic work in the making and I have too many things planned to ruin them with that." 7 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah0000 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I was also surprised about how much I DON'T care about other people. Let me explain. As a youngster you don't care in a different way because you're completely selfish and your own choice for life is the one right way. As a 30+ you take other feelings into account but not at your own expense. Live and let live, no judgement, worry about your own. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 (edited) That I don't seem to recognize the woman in the mirror. In my mind, I'm not that old. ETA: The growing sense that time is finite. Where I once looked ahead at the span of life in front of me, now I'm struck by the realization that time is, indeed, running out. It's unsettling. Edited June 23, 2019 by Valley Girl 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 And yep. My cycle is just pissing me off. Come or go, but make up its mind dammit. It's worse than in 6th grade. Always gotta have a pad on hand in case the evil within acts up without the slightest notice. Might linger for a couple weeks or disappear over night. 👿😬😤😜 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Ottakee said: When I looked up in the bathroom mirror and saw my grandfather looking back at me. I look a lot like my mom and she looked exactly like her father. When I see the tourist bus load up at the hotel and realize I am not that many years away from that. When I realize that I have been friends with 2 of my good friends for almost 35 years....but we only feel 32...and we met in our teens. I get those moments where I look in the mirror and see my mother. Or my brother. I don't look as much like either of them when I'm not overweight but when I am, and especially as things are starting to sag. I was talking to someone the other day about how long I've been involved in science education. It's been almost 30 years. And I was definitely an adult when I started. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 (edited) How little joy there is. How sad I am. I sat and looked through photo albums last night and ended up crying and then went to bed crying and woke up in the morning and laid there for a few minutes before the tears came again. I am just, so, sad. And I cannot turn back the clock. This is just it. Growing old is not about more..it is about losing everyone. Edited June 23, 2019 by Janeway 3 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 3 hours ago, Laura Corin said: I'm enjoying growing older, in general. There's a scene in the recent hit UK TV show Fleabag in which a post menopausal woman talks about how free she feels. That's me, most days. I'm 56. My mum lived independently until age 90. Fingers crossed. https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/19/kristin-scott-thomass-monologue-female-pain-fleabag-needs-watched-8939353/ I have to find a place to watch this show (I'm in Canada). I've been dealing pretty well with the aging process - I'm 52. I'm REALLY happy that I've been keeping active and eating healthy over the decades, as I'm definitely in better physical health because of it. I'm also thrilled that my mind is still pretty sharp and I've had success going back to grad school and did well on the courses. I've started work again in a completely new area, and it's been challenging but definitely doable. On the negative side, it takes longer to heal from injuries and to lose the "winter weight gain" that happens every year. My hair is also a little more curly instead of just thin and frizzy. 😉 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 re just how long it can carry on after you're sooooo soooooo done... 3 hours ago, happysmileylady said: I think that the only thing that has actually surprised me has been how much curlier my hair keeps getting. But, I am only 41. I have plenty more years before I get old. I do wish menopause would just hurry up and get here. I am completely and totally done having kids, so I am completely and totally over having to deal with AF every single month. Just go away already. (If mom is any indication though, I have like ten more freaking years. At least.🙄) Sorry to report, 56 freaking years old here an NO SIGNS WHATSOEVER of coming to closure. Enough already. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 (edited) 4 hours ago, Seasider too said: Personally, what hasn’t surprised me but I dislike facing the reality of is that I must be more aware that certain activities could leave me injured, and I know I don’t bounce like I used to. I’m 46 years old. I took up hapkido (like karate) two and a half months ago. Sometimes the instructor will say things like, “In order to get out of this hold, you can go under the person’s arm like this (he shows us), but if the person is ready for you to do that, they can make you lose your balance. So the best thing to do, is to go under their arm, but also drop to your knee and pivot on the knee.” And I’m like, “Uh uh. There’s no dropping to the knee and pivoting on it on this 46 yo mom body.” Fortunately, he has worked with older students before and when any of the older students pull him aside and say, “Nope...can’t do the knee (or whatever) part,” he’s ok with it and helps us do what we can. 🙂 At the start of class we do some sit ups and when he tells us to get up, we’re all supposed to burst up off the floor. Yeah. They all burst up, but I have to roll onto my knees and then gently push myself up. I don’t burst up from a lying down position anymore. But I’m ok with that. I’m going to add some more exercising into my daily routine and maybe I’ll limber up a bit more...and maybe not. Oh well. I’m still taking the classes anyway. 4 hours ago, moonflower said: I'm surprised, sort of, by how relationships just seem to fall off and not be replaced. I read somewhere that as you age, you lose connections sort of systematically until you die. That the peak of connection is actually childhood or young adulthood. I had friends in HS of course, and to some extent in college. Since then my friends have dropped off and the friendships I do have are shallower; also my dad died. and I was closer to him than anyone but DH. So I guess I'm surprised by how lonely it can be. The best way to make close friendships is to spend a TON of time with people. When you’re in a college dorm, or when you’re in your twenties and the only responsibility you have is work, and the evenings and weekends are completely FREE, you can spend every free minute with friends. And those friendships get close. Once you have kids...that goes away. I used to spend all day Sat and Sun and at least 3 nights a week with my friends when I was first married. Now? I have to schedule people on the calendar weeks in advance and we spend a couple of hours together until the next scheduled event months in the future. Having that much free time might not happen again until retirement age. 😞 3 hours ago, elegantlion said: My feet hurt - I have arthritis in one of my big toes and can no longer wear any shoe with a heel over about 1 inch. 3 hours ago, DawnM said: Oh, and two doctors have said I have arthritis in my knee......I am still in great denial.....stupid doctors, what do they know? One even took an X-ray.....but nope, I do not have it. 3 hours ago, Laura Corin said: I had a podiatrist and a physio tell me that I probably had arthritis Not diagnosed, but just before I started hapkido (couple of months), I found that my fingers started aching a lot. It’s arthritis. Unfortunately, some of the hapkido moves that my partner is learning is all about grabbing someone’s fingers and twisting them around. Ouch! That was just adding insult to injury. I started taking Turmeric about a month ago and it’s helped a lot. Doesn’t make all the pain go away, but puts a gigantic dent in it. I ordered this one. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WT4D57K/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 2 hours ago, Murphy101 said: But now I look at those rides jerking bodies up and down and sideways and all I can think is, "That looks like 6 months of chiropractic work in the making and I have too many things planned to ruin them with that." My dh and I and a group of friends would to go amusement parks and only ride the coasters. I have NO desire to do that anymore. None. It looks painful. Two summers ago, I rode a roller coaster for the last time. When I got off, I didn’t have that wonderful rush of adrenaline and excitement. I felt...wrong. I didn’t hurt exactly, but my body was saying loud and clear, “Don’t you ever do that to me again. This is your only warning. If you do that again, I’ll make you regret it!” I took the threat seriously and I’m never doing that again. 1 hour ago, Janeway said: How little joy there is. How sad I am. I sat and looked through photo albums last night and ended up crying and then went to bed crying and woke up in the morning and laid there for a few minutes before the tears came again. I am just, so, sad. And I cannot turn back the clock. This is just it. Growing old is not about more..it is about losing everyone. Janeway, my eyes teared up reading that. I spend 2012-2014 completely sad. I cried numerous times every day. I wish I could give you a big hug and figure out a way to help you feel better. I’m so sorry you’re sad. ————- I have a friend who says that when you’re young, you think you’re invincible because even though you know there are risks to things, you don’t actually know anyone who’s suffered from the risks. But as you age, you start to meet people suffering. Like, at 21, you don’t know anyone who’s been in a motorcycle accident. By 45, you know a few. At 21, you don’t know anyone dying of lung cancer from smoking. At 50, you do. (For example.). So, you get more cautious just because you’ve seen more tragedy. ———- For me getting older does have a good part to it. I used to watch old shows like Leave it to Beaver or The Brady Bunch or even Star Trek and the parents or the captain knew the right thing to say or do. And I was like, “Wow! I’d have never in a million years known the right thing to say/do! How did they know?” Part of me knew it was the writers making things up, but I wouldn’t have even known what to make up as a writer. But now, I do have some wisdom. I know how to act, what to say, what to do in a lot of situations I’d have been clueless in before. I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m waaaaay better now. I like it when I run across a magazine article like Dear Abby. In the past, I never had any idea of what advice to give to the people who wrote in. Now what I do, is I only read the question and I think of how I’d answer it. Then I read Abby’s answer and compare mine to hers. A bunch of times, Dear Abby and I answer the same way, and sometimes I think my answer is even better than hers. It’s been years since once of those Dear Abby type of questions has stumped me. I *really* like that about getting older. Edited June 23, 2019 by Garga 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said: Thought of something else. I have been pleasantly surprised with how well I've coped with not looking 20 something anymore (on the body front). Meaning that I don't CARE that I don't look like I'm 26 anymore. I don't beat myself up about it. I will probably never be a size 2 again, barring significant illness, and that is OK. I really thought it would bother me more. I do wish I could go back in time though, to 20, 25, 30, 35 year old self and say "quit being so hard on yourself- you look great!!. I'm pretty comfortable at this point in handing over the perfect body race to the younger gals. I thank my dh for this the most- and the confidence he gives me- but followed closely behind by scores of Hollywood women and Hollywood wannabes who have demonstrated that the results of fighting aging with syringes and scalpels often looks far more terrifying than just doing it gracefully. (And they're just as creaky inside.) I am so glad I'm not in that rat race. I hope I stay out of it. I refuse to grouse about the way I look. Just refuse to. Because like you said, my future self will shake her head at my current self and wish I hadn’t wasted time being unhappy with how I look now. I don’t give up—I’m still going to exercise and eat right and wear nice fitting clothes, but I’m not going to beat myself up that I don’t look like I’m 28 anymore. Edited June 23, 2019 by Garga 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 1 hour ago, Janeway said: How little joy there is. How sad I am. I sat and looked through photo albums last night and ended up crying and then went to bed crying and woke up in the morning and laid there for a few minutes before the tears came again. I am just, so, sad. And I cannot turn back the clock. This is just it. Growing old is not about more..it is about losing everyone. I am sorry. And I get it, at least part of it. I miss what I had. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I've got a little arthritis, but I'm active. It doesn't slow me down much, but when I look at classes at the gym I always think about my knee. Some classes I can do if I have a quiet day afterwards, and some not at all. I do walk every day. My hair is very wavy now, but my legs have little hair at all. It's funny. I hadn't expected to be a single parent of two college kids, but I here I am. I've been looking for full-time work for a long time, but get by. I've made some very close friends through a ministry group that I do a lot of things with. They all have complicated stories too and somehow are keeping on, so they inspire me. I guess that aging really hasn't been too bad for me. I'm finding a story in my troubles and am working on living moment-by-moment. Sounds trite, but that's where I am, I'm optimistic about the future. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 49 minutes ago, Garga said: I’m 46 years old. I took up hapkido (like karate) two and a half months ago. Sometimes the instructor will say things like, “In order to get out of this hold, you can go under the person’s arm like this (he shows us), but if the person is ready for you to do that, they can make you lose your balance. So the best thing to do, is to go under their arm, but also drop to your knee and pivot on the knee.” And I’m like, “Uh uh. There’s no dropping to the knee and pivoting on it on this 46 yo mom body.” Fortunately, he has worked with older students before and when any of the older students pull him aside and say, “Nope...can’t do the knee (or whatever) part,” he’s ok with it and helps us do what we can. 🙂 At the start of class we do some sit ups and when he tells us to get up, we’re all supposed to burst up off the floor. Yeah. They all burst up, but I have to roll onto my knees and then gently push myself up. I don’t burst up from a lying down position anymore. But I’m ok with that. I’m going to add some more exercising into my daily routine and maybe I’ll limber up a bit more...and maybe not. Oh well. I’m still taking the classes anyway. Not diagnosed, but just before I started hapkido (couple of months), I found that my fingers started aching a lot. It’s arthritis. Unfortunately, some of the hapkido moves that my partner is learning is all about grabbing someone’s fingers and twisting them around. Ouch! That was just adding insult to injury. I started taking Turmeric about a month ago and it’s helped a lot. Doesn’t make all the pain go away, but puts a gigantic dent in it. I ordered this one. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WT4D57K/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I took hapkido as a college class when I was 49. I ended up being the only one in the class who opted to wear shoes after I twisted my ankle wrong one day. That made me feel old. I love some of those moves though, but yeah, my joints don't move like when I was 20. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I'll be turning 60 this year and happy to report yes, there is hope and for those with all the not so wonderful post menopausal issues, that you will have closure. What has surprised me about the decade I'm in now? That I can't keep up with my 88 year old dad. He's still doing 10k steps a day and I can barely do 3k. I went with him to a aerobics class at his gym and he danced, jumped, hopped, moved to the music the whole hour while me and my sister had to take periodic breaks to just breath. Oh my poor knees. While my ankles and knees may complain a lot more, my upper body strength has improved. Probably comes from lifting 20 to 40 pound amplifiers our customers bring in. Little things surprise me such as now, no matter what I do, I have one eye brow that the hairs at the end of the arch stick out every which way and no matter how many times I pluck, grow back in pointing to every direction of the compass. 🙄 Embarrassingly Tucks medicated pad, Desitin have become staples in my life and and panty liners are necessary when exercising or during allergy season when I'm sneezing my head off. For years I've been waking every morning with back aches, but we recently bought a new mattress and man, what a difference it's made. I'm sleeping through the night and waking up refreshed. Strangely I've become a night owl, instead of a morning person, although I do need 8 straight hours of sleep to function. I've come out of my introverted shell more and enjoy talking so much more than I used too. I like myself better now too and am more optimistic, not letting the negative stuff out in the world affect me. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 34 minutes ago, elegantlion said: I took hapkido as a college class when I was 49. I ended up being the only one in the class who opted to wear shoes after I twisted my ankle wrong one day. That made me feel old. I love some of those moves though, but yeah, my joints don't move like when I was 20. The instructor says that Hapkido is an old fat man’s martial art. There are a lot of moves that involve grabbing someone’s arm or hand in the right way...and then just leaning your weight on it until it hurts the other person. There’s not necessarily a lot of flying around the room kicking and punching...more like twisting an arm and then leaning on the elbow until it snaps. Great for old people, the heavier the better; more body weight to lean on the elbow. 🙂 I don’t know how serious he is about it being an old fat man’s MA, but the instructor likes to say it. And now I’m going to be extra careful with my ankles now that you wrote that. Eeeee. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 6 hours ago, Pam in CT said: I am entering the When I am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple stage; and, I'll tell you, the freedom of not-much-caring what folks think of me more than outweighs the admitted irritations of aching joints and sagging parts. Amen, sister! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Skin issues! Just had 8 seborrheic keratoses frozen off and then Google told most people over 60 have these (I first got these before 50). I also have eczema flareups. Had eczema as a kid, then nothing through about age 45, and now it's just something there in the background. But no skin cancer, still look younger than I am, and I'm happy to have working knees. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noreen Claire Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 6 hours ago, moonflower said: I am not ready to confront it yet. So far I just don't go out when I'm sick and I don't exercise in a bouncy sort of way. Yes, I realize this is not a good long term plan. I cannot stand the idea of a pessary; I don't use tampons, I can't even imagine, just no no no. Ugh, getting older is for the birds. I have a referral for pelvic floor physical therapy and I haven't called yet. Maybe tomorrow... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree Frog Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 I've been surprised by all the long hairs on my face and chin. Sometimes I feel like I should be shaving instead of plucking. I'm excited to see what color my hair will be when it grays. It's a dishwater blond, so I don't think it will be very noticeable as it changes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 How much everything hurts, and if it doesn't hurt it doesn't work or I've forgot about it entirely. This is just the past six weeks. About 6 weeks ago I had post menopausal bleeding. I went for a U/S and then uterine lining was too thick. They sent me for a biopsy which was painful but fine but they were still worried about the lining so they gave me a med to cause me to shed the uterine lining. So two weeks of post baby level cramping and bleeding. I am in my mid 50s and haven't had a period in 4 or 5 years. I am literally too old for this shit. No sooner than I recovered from that than I tweaked my back pretty badly. I had to get a shot but it wasn't unbearable. Then a few days later I had to break up a dog fight. By then the pain was so bad that I was unable to move of my own volition. Then I got a virus while preparing for a endo/colonoscopy. I woke from the procedure screaming and crying in pain. So now I am recovering from uterine pain, intestinal pain and back pain all at the same time. I hurt from the top of my thighs to my chest. I have a very large hiatal hernia and severe esophageal erosion. I am already doing all the things I am supposed to be doing so there really isn't anything else I can so other than try the new med he is giving me. On top of all of this, I am definitely starting to notice a cognitive decline. My memory is starting to go more than just middle age mom brain. Not sure if it is really anything to worry about yet but certainly not as sharp as I expected to be at this age. On the other hand, emotionally I am doing better than I would have ever imagined so I am surprisingly ok with most everything. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 Hpw once I turned 55 everything went South at once, LOL. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 37 minutes ago, Reefgazer said: Hpw once I turned 55 everything went South at once, LOL. Not that I actually "like" that it happened to you, but -- 55 was the age everything caved in on me, too. At least the hot flashes (mostly) stopped by then . . . 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 How fast it goes downhill after age 50. Just in the last 6 months I have developed so many new and chronic aches and pains ... plus I am so much weaker ... plus I think my memory may be getting worse ... my hearing too ... and sleep isn't the heaven it used to be either ... and my hair has gotten thinner ... and I can hardly read without my glasses (though I still forget to use them most of the time). Also the odd thing where my feet can be ice cold and I'm having a hot flash from the chest up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted June 23, 2019 Share Posted June 23, 2019 My poor feet........when I was about 5 my grandmother lived with us and there were all sorts of rituals regarding her feet. She refused to walk without her special shoes.......not even to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night(she shared my bedroom so this was a problem for me). I made fun of her and sort of wonder if this is her revenge! As others have said 55 has been a rough year. Lots of aches and pains. On the other hand I no longer care what others think which is nice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) @Laura Corin - I haven't read all the responses so maybe someone has already answered this but I found a *wonderful* product that has re-grown my eyelashes... they're thicker than they were back in my 20s. It's pricey but worth it. I think it lasts me more than 3month because I don't use it every night now. Revitalash Eyelash Growth Serum I don't know if they sell it in the UK, but that is the US link. Get the 2ml size not the mini one. I tried castor oil for a while and that helped okay, but wow!! when I switched to Revitalash the change was very noticeable. As for the OP: I do expect some aches and pains, but what I didn't expect is how hard it is to get out of bed quickly - like when I really need to pee at 6am. My body is very achy and slow in the morning. Also, I expected to be sleeping better in my 50s and that hasn't happened. I also didn't expect the emotional side of getting older. I was always so even-keeled and calm. I miss that person. Edited June 24, 2019 by PrincessMommy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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