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Thoughts and prayers appreciated

G5052

By G5052,
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G5052

G5052

Posted
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Dh and I are separated and my young adults are commuter college students living with me. He has significant mental health issues, and it's been ugly. I saw my therapist yesterday, and she reminded me (once again) that he won't be satisfied until he extracts his pound of flesh and to just accept that. He lives many states away.

 

I've always worked and homeschooled, but I currently have only independent contractor work and am a 3/4 time professor. No benefits, no security. I would prefer not to tap my retirement savings. My independent contractor work ends in June with no renewal. The job hunt is going more slowly than I'd like. I'm not getting any nibbles in the corporate world, but am being considered for two jobs in higher education. However, they are sloooow. The hiring officials say that I'm on the list to interview, but the package is still in HR. 

 

DH has also decided that the time has come to sell the house and divide the proceeds (it's paid for). I'm completely fine with that. It's a big house on more land than I can handle, and I can use the money. The therapist said to expect that he will nickel-and-dime me to death on it. We plan to move into a rental as soon as I get a job so that we can work on the house and have some stability. The therapist strongly recommended this. DH plans to come and get his things in late spring, and she said that we shouldn't be in the house when that happens because of past behavior.

 

So pray that I can a job lined up. Thankfully we are doing well and have a lot of friends here that are helping us in many ways and will help with the move. I love this house, but as my youngest said, family is about people, not a house.

 

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J-rap

J-rap

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I'm really sorry about this unexpected turn in your life.  It sounds like you have a great support and have great kids.  I would guess that now that the holidays are over and the new year has begun, job hiring will pick up.

 

I'll certainly keep you in my prayers.  

 

And yes, I think your youngest is absolutely right!  Family is about people.   :)

 

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Joyofsixreboot

Joyofsixreboot

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Dh and I are separated and my young adults are commuter college students living with me. He has significant mental health issues, and it's been ugly. I saw my therapist yesterday, and she reminded me (once again) that he won't be satisfied until he extracts his pound of flesh and to just accept that. He lives many states away.

 

I've always worked and homeschooled, but I currently have only independent contractor work and am a 3/4 time professor. No benefits, no security. I would prefer not to tap my retirement savings. My independent contractor work ends in June with no renewal. The job hunt is going more slowly than I'd like. I'm not getting any nibbles in the corporate world, but am being considered for two jobs in higher education. However, they are sloooow. The hiring officials say that I'm on the list to interview, but the package is still in HR.

 

DH has also decided that the time has come to sell the house and divide the proceeds (it's paid for). I'm completely fine with that. It's a big house on more land than I can handle, and I can use the money. The therapist said to expect that he will nickel-and-dime me to death on it. We plan to move into a rental as soon as I get a job so that we can work on the house and have some stability. The therapist strongly recommended this. DH plans to come and get his things in late spring, and she said that we shouldn't be in the house when that happens because of past behavior.

 

So pray that I can a job lined up. Thankfully we are doing well and have a lot of friends here that are helping us in many ways and will help with the move. I love this house, but as my youngest said, family is about people, not a house.

You've got my prayers, thought, vibes and energy.

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

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creekland

creekland

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Sending  :grouphug: and prayers.  My parents had an ugly divorce no matter how peaceful my mom tried to keep it.  It was due to my dad's mental illnesses.  I was too young to understand at the time, but I have tons of respect for her and what she tried to do now (how she tried to keep things going well).

 

You have great kids supporting you.  I'm glad they see what's going on.

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NorthwestMom

NorthwestMom

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Go G5! I am pulling for you.  I hope the perfect job comes through. It sounds like you have your head on right.

 

I hope you have a great attorney. Let the attorney handle the nickel-and-dime negotiations. It may cost you money but it will buy you mental peace. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

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hornblower

hornblower

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Sorry you're going through this. Glad you have a therapist helping you see things clearly and the light at the end of this tunnel.  I agree with the idea of having an attorney handle things. Given your children are adults (& can handle their own relationship with him) and a designated attorney can handle the business end, there's really no need for you to ever speak with the ex again - not unless you want to. 

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Rosika

Rosika

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I love this house, but as my youngest said, family is about people, not a house.

 

I will be praying for you - not only that you get your tangible house in order, but also for continued strength and support. 

 

Divorces can feel lonely, and I hope you're able to avoid that. It sounds like you have a great network of friends and the support of your adult children. That's going to be a huge blessing throughout the process, and even after. 

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GinaPagnato

GinaPagnato

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I remember your past posts about your DH, his mental illness, and the great lengths you went to in order to salvage the marriage, if at all possible. You're a strong and clear-sighted woman. You've taken so many difficult steps with wisdom and care, and I'm sure you'll continue in the same manner.

 

Prayers that you find a suitable work situation soon. 

 

:grouphug:

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Liz CA

Liz CA

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Since I always like Plan B to be in place...is there a way to store your items with friends or temporary storage unit and spend a weekend with a friend if he comes to get his things before you are completely moved out?

Praying for job process to speed up.   :grouphug:

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G5052

G5052

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Since I always like Plan B to be in place...is there a way to store your items with friends or temporary storage unit and spend a weekend with a friend if he comes to get his things before you are completely moved out?

Praying for job process to speed up.   :grouphug:

 

Yes, that's our Plan B. If I don't have a job yet, we'll do that.

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