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About Rosika

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    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

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  1. I have the voice of a little kid. More than once I've been asked to get my parents. :001_rolleyes: But I get it, whatever, they don't know. Except one lady kept insisting I was a child and repeatedly demanded that I put my parents on the phone, as if it was her personal mission to "out" any liars on the other end like she were the Cruella de Ville of Telemarketing. At first I reacted by trying to "prove" to her (in hindsight, I hate that I did that) but then I just told her I was hanging up. And I did, and I called my parents on another continent to complain about my stupid voice and - since I was on a roll - the short gene they had ALSO given me. LOL
  2. Congratulations on your hard work - what an exciting thing to do, to publish a book!
  3. This sounds like a great compromise. My son doesn't have Asperger's, but he's the kind of kid where I get your husband's point. This kid deserves to know all of the information beforehand so he can make good, informed choices ... but all that does in the short-term is give the child something to argue, complain about, or otherwise make us regret giving him the information in such advance. And it's almost like he then hyperfocuses on that one aspect he feels is unfair or arguable, and it's exhausting, frustrating, and distracts him from our REAL goal of moving him forward. With my son I have to do things on a graduated schedule. If it were he and I in your shoes, I'd have the "Come to Jesus" talk ASAP with the caveat that we'll check in again on April 7th. April 7th is when we'd disclose the internet thing. That gives your son a few weeks to let the new plan marinate and to take steps in the direction he wishes to go ... but it also gives him a month to kick it into gear, if he flits away March. Good luck, OP.
  4. Body Hair: Natural vs. Removed Chili: Beans vs. No Beans Pet Names: People names are ok vs. People names are for people (Car) Blinkers: Always Use Them vs. Rarely Use Them Star Trek: Deep Space Nine vs. Next Generation Plane Passengers: Obey seat belt sign vs. Ignore seat belt sign PIN numbers: I Use a Birthday/Anniversary Date vs. Nope, I Use Something Else Zits: Pop 'Em vs. Ride 'em out Public Bathroom Habits: Hover vs. Sit Santa & Kids: harmless myth vs scarring lie Flossing: Daily vs. Crap, today is my dental appointment Dishwasher Loading: Pre-rinse vs. Stick right in Laundry: Thorough Sorting vs. All in one load Texting: All hours (it's like email) vs. Awake hours (it's like phone calls)
  5. Let me ask you about a project. I sat for an Eagle BOR last week, for a young man I know well. He's newly 16, very intelligent, a natural leader, and all around great kid/scout/person. He is the poster child for the Scouting program. I'm wondering if the fact that I know him is clouding my perspective on his project. Here it is: He was working with a local wildlife group that regularly offers this as an Eagle project. They gave the boy a written proposal to submit to BSA. He did tweak it to be more in his own voice. Then he built ten bat houses to set up in the city park. The group ordered pre-cut bat houses and delivered them to the boy. His parents paid out of pocket for the $900 in material costs, no fundraising was necessary. In one afternoon, this scout and three friends assembled the bat houses. On a second afternoon they used a power tool (drill) to secure the bat houses to posts. The wildlife group had previously poured concrete and prepared the lower half of the posts, so the scout needed only to assemble his parts (like putting together a fake Christmas tree, top part goes into bottom part.) And that's it. I feel like it was a box-checking project. If anyone is capable of executing a well thought out project, it's this kid. And he's the kind of kid you KNOW is going to be a leader in life, and this project could have really refined and honed his natural skills. But does that mean he should have to?? Am I holding him to a higher standard because i know him and what he's capable of? Honestly, this project (done this way) would disappoint me in anyone who did it, but I'd understand it coming from someone on the cusp of aging out or something. I'm especially disappointed because my son expressed an interest in doing this for his project, too. (But i'm not bankrolling him, so he'd at least have to figure out a fundraiser.) I will be disappointed in my son if he chooses this project. He's capable of more, too. He will age out this fall, but he still has time to get a "legit" project (IMO). Am I being stupid about this? I guess it boils down to "letter of the law vs. spirit of the law" for me. Maybe I need to get over it. I tend to get overly invested in my kids LOL. Tell it to me straight.
  6. Special Events are mostly about social time and fellowship, so this should be an easy requirement for her to do. We're doing our Boards of Review this month, and here are some of the projects the girls have done: Bowling Night, Skate Night Themed sleepovers - Twilight Princess Party, backyard camping Small (unit-only) parties - movie night, karaoke, charades, Olympics "watch" party Small (outside) parties - choir performance at senior center, cookie decorating with parish preschool Crafting parties - no-sew blankets, painting rocks to distribute around church lot Tailgate party and game for the parish school's homecoming game Afternoons outdoor - hiking, fishing,swimming, biking, BBQ, letterboxing, park day picnic Events for younger levels - spa day, scrapbook party for Tenderhearts (required for their level up award) My daughter and two friends planned a Field Day for the Pathfinders and Tenderhearts. Also, we hold two annual events for the express purpose of providing our girls this opportunity. You may consider suggesting it to your troop - the entire troop loves the "tradition" of annual events, and it makes an easier job for troop leaders (especially if there is high turnover, especially for unit leaders and advancement chair.) Our first annual event is a fall family camp out (typically planned by the PI/PAs). Our second annual event is a mother-daughter tea party (typically planned by Explorers with oversight by PI/PAs). Similar ideas best suited for troop support: Father-Daughter Dance, Parades (floats, walking in), sleepovers at zoo/baseball stadium/etc.
  7. :lol: I understand this completely! I think I'd throw myself a "one more promotion towards retirement" party - even if it's just a party with just me, a margarita, chips and salsa, and bad mariachi music playing at the local dive. I might even go so far as to allow my graduate to treat me, whether or not he attended! LOL
  8. I have four boys who were born in six years, so we've run into this from the opposite side. We have a girl in our life who has functioned as an honorary "sister" or "cousin" ... she's always been (assumed) to be invited to anything our family does - especially parties. She and my older two were in (different) public schools. At my oldest's sixth birthday, she was the only girl present and also the only child who didn't attend my son's school. She's very social and aware, and easy to get along with. But the other 5-6 years olds were brutal to her!! The theme was something stupid, and not especially boy ... airplanes, I think? maybe rockets? ... but they were relentless about teasing her. She handled it pretty well because she's confident by nature. She thought they were weird to care that she was the only girl, or that a girl couldn't/wouldn't be interested in aviation/science. But it did eventually wear on her, because ... she was 5! I'm just picturing a party where your son, whom the hostess knows is learning how to handle his anxiety, in a situation where he may feel anxious. Or worse, where he may be fine until OTHERS who aren't as intuitive or kind CREATE an anxiety-filled environment. And I'm picturing someone who cares about you and isn't sure how to say, "hey, I don't want your son to freak out if the girls tease him about being the only boy or about doing the princess thing" ... because let's face it, not everyone is at the same level of enlightenment about these things. Sexism is still a thing and a young, anxious child isn't the best choice to send across the lines. The friend's inability to know how to proceed with this situation isn't necessarily reflective of her feelings about the friendship - some people love, and care, and just suck at knowing how to handle things! So they bury their heads in the sand and hope that everything just comes to pass. (OP, it sounds like you know this and I think I'm more addressing some of the other posts who think the hostess should've handled it differently. Yes, a heads up from her would've been ideal but what is normal for you is not her reality so she might be clueless how to handle anxiety in a friend.) If you can, I'd try to meet up with the girls tonight - just for a bit, maybe at the end. I'd spend a few hours alone, regrouping and recovering from the emotional fall our but I'd try to meet up with them for dessert at the end. Just for 30 minutes or so. You'll be more fresh and able to handle the conversation if it comes up, and it won't get more awkward with the passing of time. Sometimes the best way to heal is to face the thing head on and then move forward. I'd hope you could get in a few laughs unrelated to the party situation which might help ease away some of the feelings you're feeling on behalf of your son. Re-connecting is good for the soul and good for relationships. Once you work through yours, you can better help your son work through his. You sound like a loving mother and an understanding friend who values the people in your life. They're all lucky to know you!
  9. I had one son who did this, and he didn't have any problems with the sequence. My other three did the traditional sequence. But MP's opinion differs some. Especially see Rule #2 in their article: I decided that the MP article was the "ideal" and my son's approach was "my reality" so ... take that FWIW! :lol:
  10. I know about, but have never read, Beyond the Birds & the Bees by the Popcaks. I've heard it talked about on Catholic radio, and I have a few friends who read everything by this couple. It's written to the parents. In trying to remember the exact name, I just looked on Amazon. Read the reviews, especially the 3 star reviews, to see if it's a good fit for your parenting ideology. I used the book mentioned above by Laura Corin and Rosie. It's an entire series, with books aimed at different age groups. It is written to the kids. We read it together, every book beginning with the first one, which I think is 5 years old? As we aged into older books, there were topics covered in a way contrary to Church teaching (ma$turb@tion comes to mind, I can't remember if there were more ....) but it was a good conversation starter and way to introduce Church teaching in a gentle way. We hang with some hardcore Catholics who are all fire and brimstone, and with some super lax Catholics who openly oppose Church teaching, but we're somewhere in between. These books would have been taboo for the former and perfectly acceptable as-is for the latter. For me, we read the book in its entirety and added Church teaching where appropriate - to include the reminder that anytime one of the kids wanted to go to Confession outside of our normal routine, we'd take them with no questions asked, and also a refresher on washing sheets on hot and leave time for them to air-dry. Covering all bases! LOL Ascension Press has a Theology of the Body course for middle school students that might be good to include in a health unit.
  11. Rosika


    I lean towards "finish what you start" in which case, I'd have him go through to the BOR even if it means investing time into the BBQ. I'd try to look at it as something I was doing to "thank" the troop for the years we participated as opposed to something I was doing to "appease" the troop so I could get my BOR. But the fact that they're trying to hold his rank hostage by delaying the BOR??? I'm annoyed on your behalf. I'd take it as a sign from God and the Universe that I'm supposed to tell this troop where they can shove their BBQ and their BOR. With this twist to the story, I'd honor my son's wishes (be it to quit pre-BBQ or to see it through to the BOR).
  12. I hope she loves your gift! My daughter started her own at about the same age. Now she's 12, and her desire to write down inspiring or thoughtful things she comes across is still going strong. It's fun to go back even two years to her first entries, and see how her perspective has (or hasn't!) changed, and where she "was" at that point in her life. Her latest entry was yesterday. We saw The Greatest Showman after reading comments here about it. She enjoyed the movie, but said the PT Barnum quote at the end was her favorite part. She wrote it in her book in the car. She always has it with her. Happy birthday to your sweet girl. :001_wub:
  13. It's the best feeling in the world, right? Not only does everything fall into place perfectly, but with sprinkles on top! :hurray:
  14. Pissy. I don't even know why. I don't have a good reason to be. I just .... am. Fortunately I'm also home alone! LOL
  15. Only one of my sons picked up my ADD. He has always fought me on the planner systems. I finally had to force him to pick from one of three options ... that he didn't have to love it, but he had to use SOMETHING until he could figure out his OWN system. It was kind of like copy work before writing on your own, or the whole classical writing approach thing. It was a hill I had to die on, and I damn near did die LOL. He now has a system that makes no sense to me, but that has been working successfully for him. It's a hodgepodge of ideas and it made me nervous initially because it relied so much on electronic help (e.g., Siri) but we've seen such an improvement in his ability to stay on track and get things done. My son has enlisted in the military. He definitely needed a job that has built in scaffolding! LOL Hopefully your son figures out what works for him :) I've never read that book, but I see it recommended all of the time. I always mean to see if my library has it. I should write it down .... :lol:
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