Doran Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 (edited) Many of you have walked alongside me on this journey, so I wanted to let you know, collectively, that my father died around midnight last night. He was 84. Despite the fact that I knew this day couldn't wait much longer, I was not fully prepared for the news of his passing. Somehow, I thought there would be more fanfare, urgent notice, some event to call us family all together so that we could hold each other and him in his last hours. But, it didn't happen that way. He went quietly. He was alone, in his room, in the nursing home. And no one knows exactly what time he finally, actually let go. A nurse spoke with him at 11:40. He was gone by 12:20. I'm not here to be morose, or to say that I am struggling in bleak despair. Losing my father hurts more than any loss I have experienced to date. Yet, I have no doubt that this was what needed to happen. He was not well for much of the past three years. More importantly, he was not happy. So, now, I can see him released, on a new journey, whole, spirited, and finally free of the burdens he carried here. And, I am delighted for him!! I am here to express my sincere gratitude for the support many of you have offered during the dark hours of his illness and decline. Some of you understood the situation intimately while others understood the idea of it. Regardless, I have appreciated the compassion and wisdom you've shared. Tonight, if you have an opportunity, remind a special someone that she has touched your life, or that you love him deeply. Because, even when you know you may not have much longer to do that, the day has a way of being here before you're ready. Peace and thanks, Edited November 7, 2008 by Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Doran, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I wish I could do that in person. I am so sorry, my friend. You know I am here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so sorry for your loss, Doran!!!! You'll be in my thoughts. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Oh Doran. I'm so sorry. I don't think we're ever ready to hear news like that. I'm off to call my daddy . . . (through tears) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemywhirlygirls Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep your family in my prayers in the coming days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Oh, dear Doran. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you, my friend. {{{{Doran}}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: I am sorry you lost your father. I'm sure that even though it was expected, it doesn't make it any easier. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy in Ky Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I am so sorry. I lost my mom 4 years ago. There is no pain like it. I love you, Tracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyBlueLobsters Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: I'm sorry Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsdash Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so sorry for your loss :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so sorry, Doran. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug:I'm very sorry about your loss, Doran. I thank you for sharing your struggles in your journey with the board as I am still on that same journey with my 83-year old mother. Your posts were a source of support for me. I will pray for your father, you, and your family. Louise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: I'm sorry Doran. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I am so sorry, Doran. God bless your family! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKs Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: So sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle in MO Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I can't imagine losing my father now; he and I are closer than we've ever been. You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: May this time be a quiet & peaceful one for you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Oh, Doran, my heart aches for you, even though I know how this will ultimately bring your family peace. Hugs to you, your mother, and the rest of your family while you mourn and rebuild. Know that I will be thinking of you and hoping for peace for all of you. You are really in my thoughts these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so very sorry for your loss, Doran. ((Hugs)) to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in NH Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so sorry for your loss. i lost my father last year and I am still not ready for it. Hugs and prayers to you and your family, Jenny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Oh, Doran, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss--I was not "ready" either when my FIL passed away. I'm sure it is exponentially more painful when it is your very own parent!! Even though the pain is tempered by knowing that he is no longer carrying those burdens, it is still such a great loss. I will pray that you will find comfort. In the days after my FIL's death, there were times I could hardly breathe, and remembering it now brings tears 2.5 years later, but now I can also remember him with laughter and joy. Sending comforting thoughts your way!! Valerie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 So sorry for your loss. Wishing you many beautiful memories and a beautiful reunion one day.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Doran, I am so sorry. You are right--you are never ready when it actually happens, even if you have been "expecting" it. Nothing prepares you for the reality. But I am glad he is freed from suffering. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Oh, Doran...I'm just so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhondaM. Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm so sorry Doran. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekanamom Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in Jax Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: I'm very sorry for your loss. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 So sorry for your loss, Doran. There is now a hole in the fabric of your life. Hugs to you, your daughters and the rest of your family. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I know what you are going through. My heartaches for you. So sorry for your loss. Wishing peace and comfort. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tani Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I am so sorry for your pain and your family's. :grouphug::grouphug: Tani Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 :grouphug: I am sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Oh, Doran... I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
percytruffle Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Losing my father hurts more than any loss I have experienced to date. Yet, I have no doubt that this was what needed to happen. He was not well for much of the past three years. More importantly, he was not happy. So, now, I can see him released, on a new journey, whole, spirited, and finally free of the burdens he carried here. And, I am delighted for him!! :grouphug: I could have written this exact post 15 years ago. Feeling your pain and anguish, Doran. Much love and prayers to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trivium Academy Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 a hug and a prayer Doran. May you and all those grieve over the loss of your father be blessed and comforted by the Lord. I will continue to pray for you and your family as you go through this difficult time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay in Cal Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 So sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Oh, Doran! I have no words, sometimes there are none. Just thoughts and :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I'm sorry Doran. It's never easy, even when it's a blessing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laylamcb Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Oh, Doran, I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: My dad died at 49, 13 years ago. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. :crying: You're in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritAnnia Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I'm so sorry for you loss. My prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I'm so sorry. Knowing that it's coming doesn't make the hurt any less. You and your family will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I am so sorry for your loss.... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Doran, You and your family will be in my prayers. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I'm so sorry, Doran. Can't imagine losing my dad. Because of your post, I called my 97yo Gramma today (haven't talked to her in almost 5 months). She didn't answer, but I will try again. (((((Doran))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 Peace to you, Doran.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NevadaRabbit Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 :grouphug: My very sincere sympathy, Doran. I lost my dad in 1989. Sometimes it feels like yesterday; sometimes it seems like a thousand years since I heard his voice. I pray you will be comforted by precious memories in the days ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 I'm so sorry - it always hurts to lose someone you love. I also will be calling my 87 year old Grandmother tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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