S/O: College views, expectations

[DawnM]

For those of you with older children, how have your views, standards, expectations change through the years when it comes to your children going to college?

 

I will start.

 

I honestly thought I would homeschool so well that my kids would be exceptionally well prepared for college and would get scholarships, and know what they wanted to do, etc.....(hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

 

Then God gave me a child with LDs who has challenged my parenting, my beliefs, and my expectations.   And then my 2nd child doesn't have the drive I thought ALL my kids would automatically have.  He is 16 and a strong student, but not stellar.  

 

I am now ok with my oldest attending community college and only community college!  I am proud of him actually!

 

My 2nd child may not get scholarships.  He isn't a strong test taker and he is a slow student, taking extra time, which may or may not be given at the college level.  I have had to adjust my thinking and realize he may not get a scholarship or get into the college of his choice.  He may be more limited as to what field he can go into.

 

 

[Carrie12345]

Like I mentioned in an older thread, I am a planner.  I had and continue to have "plans" for my kids, general and specific, with multiple paths.  My planning has never been about what will happen, but what could happen.  So I don't think I've been outright surprised by anything.

 

I have a child who decided against doing 11th and 12th grade and instead became a college music major.  I have a child whose interests may take her out of a 4 year degree and into something more service-oriented.  I have another soon-to-be-teenager who might consider college, but is just as likely to hop a plane to LA and wait tables while trying to be an actress. (And then I have one who just wants to play video games and one who wants to be a farmer and firefighter, but they're still little.) They all have their different things, but I do believe I have and will continue to prepare them for more typical degree path so it's there if they need/want it.

[Chris in VA]

We thought all of ours were headed to college. One graduated, but one never went (beyond unsuccessfully taking a semester of CC).

The third one has a lot of unspoken pressure and expectations on her. Now the pressure involves where to go, too. Some of it is from herself, but we have to be careful.

 

I srill think my second child should at least attempt college, but I have come to realize there is probably some damage that can't be undone. He will have his wife's support in any case, and ours, too.

[hornblower]

.

Edited June 17, 2016 by hornblower

[helena]

Well, my 17yo enrolled in community college yesterday and I'm thrilled. She still has to finish high school, but knowing her, I thought/knew it was important for her to test the waters early. 

We went to see a band last night and I felt like I was celebrating. I mean, my own private, not even my family, celebrating.

 

I know nobody celebrates their kid signing up for community college. But man, I'm still feeling pretty darn happy this morning. :)

Now she just has to get in a class!

 

 

[Guest]

I think what has changed my views more than anything are other adults I have met who did not go the classic route and are far more successful than most of the people I know that went to graduate school. My parents did not go to college and it was never presented to me as an option NOT to go. They were going to make sure I didn't repeat what they saw as decisions that limited their careers. I did go to college and then to graduate school. I had a decent job and salary, but I grew jaded with my career. I am glad I went, but it was not the magic key to life they made me think it was.

 

Then there are people like my husband and several others I know who either didn't go to college, or took a non traditional route that may or may not have included college who are happier in their careers and make salaries that blow anything I aspired to out of the water. I know not everyone experiences things like this, and we do encourage our kids to go- but I no longer think of college as a requirement for success like I used to. And I definitely am not stuck in four year or high ranked colleges. Watching my friends with older kids, it seems in all but the rarest cases like when mom and dad paid the whole tab, all it was was a ticket to a lifetime of debt those kids will be digging out of for average salaries not justifying the cost of the so call prestigious school. Most jobs are going to pay what they pay regardless of what name is on that diploma, with very few career exceptions like law or Wall Street. I am a-ok with junior college as a starting point for my kids.

Edited June 17, 2016 by texasmom33

[kewb]

With my oldest heading off to college in the fall I have learned a few things about myself.

 

Both of my children will go to college. Whether that means starting at community college or going away to school.

 

I also thought I would be super homeschooling mom whose children would be ready to graduate from college at age 12.

This didn't happen. I have yelled, cajoled, begged, pleaded, and bribed to get my little rays of sunshine to submit to my teaching on any given day. Other days went so perfectly I felt confident that it was the dawn of a new day. A new commitment to taking control of their education.

 

I have been humbled. Experience is a great teacher if you are willing to learn.

[Closeacademy]

I've started telling them once they hit the teen years to just have a dream, any dream and go for that.  My oldest wants to go to college but has no idea of what she wants to do other than travel. We've decided to let her be an exchange student during her gap year and hope that she figures out what she wants to do sometime over the next 3 years.

 

Youngest wants to be an artist but also has music and birds.  I've really let her follow her interests growing up and really don't expect her to go the college route but who knows what will actually happen.

 

I've learned that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that life generally has a plan for you but you get to find out what it is as you go along and it's not always what you were thinking or hoping it might be.  So I've learned to be very open, accepting and to let them make the decisions about their lives.  I'm just the support and the one cheering them on and showing them the options that might work for them.

 

 

[OhanaBee]

My assumption was that they would all go to college.  But I have two with high test anxiety.  My oldest has only ever wanted to be a wife and a mom.  She graduated with an AA from our local community college and married our wonderful son-in-law right after that.

 

Middle dd is at university after spending the first two years of college at our cc.  She's pretty ambitious and will probably go on to get her Masters in Dance Therapy.

 

Youngest is gearing up to start CC full-time in the fall.  We'll see how this goes.  She doesn't know what she wants to do, and spends a lot of time writing.  Most of her "senior year" was actually spend just writing because I felt she had gone as far as she could with me in the other subjects.  This is a child who reads classic novels for fun.  Her immediate goal is to travel to Africa and work on a Big Cat preserve.  No, she does not want to be a vet.  She's just fascinated by Africa and loves cats of all sizes.

 

In my extended family it's very hard to just let the girls be who they are.  My brother's family is full of high achievers who all plan to go to school through their Masters [at least].  They go to a very good private school out in LA. and are constantly doing really scholastic things.  My parents [Mom, especially] compares my children to my brother's a lot.  It does make me glad that we live on the other side of the country from them.

 

I'm just happy that my girls have a good relationship with each other [they're all pretty different] and that they like to learn.  Honestly, that was my biggest goal in homeschooling.  As long as they know they can learn, they can do what they need to do in life.

[amsunshine]

The only thing for me that has changed is my plan for high school before college.  From the beginning, I was determined to homeschool high school.  I would still love to do it.  However, the reality of what colleges expect of homeschoolers (all the hoop jumping) is much more than I want for myself or my kids.  All the extra testing to verify homeschool grades, etc.  We found a very nice highschool for them which only requires 2 days per week of attendance, so it will be a nice compromise for our family.  Community college for dual enrollment is likely in their last two years of high school, and then, college.  Where they attend will be entirely dependent on where they receive the best merit aid package.

[gardenmom5]

the girls were easy peasy (though 1dd had health problems preventing her from grad school.). stellar students, full scholarships/grants to a fabulous university.  the kind of students of which teachers dream. 

 

the boys . . . were slow to figure out what they wanted to do and have changed tracks at least once.  learning disabilities and a few other things out of their control slowed them down.   but both are making progress. they are both working towards transfer degrees from the community college in worthwhile subjects.   1ds likes that way because it makes economic sense.

 

I still have the expectation of an education/skills that will allow them to support themselves and their future families.  there are a lot of degrees out there that won't. 

 

incidentally -  my nephew was a high school dropout, but also a nerd.  he can support a family (and did finally get married).

[meena]

My (and DH's) view on college for our kids has stayed the same throughout the years for the most part.

 

We agreed before having kids that we are okay with our kids going a traditional or non-traditional route. We are more focused on trying to help our kids figure out what they want to do and then trying to figure out how to get them there. We're also trying to emphasize that they need to have a few plans in the works, as life doesn't always happen like we plan. It's more important to us that our children end up as functional adults rather than having them live out some educational or vocational ideal of ours.

[Hilltopmom]

I "expected" mine to all go to college, no option otherwise.

The oldest will, in fact starts DE in the fall.

The next has serious LDs & likely won't make it through high school work, let alone college. She has other interests, but none that can support yourself very well, but she's young still, we'll see. We plan for her to live with us for an extended period of time in adulthood. The littles, we'll wait & see:)

I want them all happy & able to function, college or no. I don't want them saddled with huge college debt & still not able to support themselves.

[Jane in NC]

I expected my son to attend college and he did. But it was clear to him early on that college was required for him to pursue his passion (archaeology).

 

If he had not been so focused, I would still have tried to steer him to some sort of post-secondary education:  certification or degree.  Where we live, it is very difficult for high school diploma only students to find work that pays much over minimum wage or offers benefits. 

 

One of the engineers with whom my husband works has a daughter who pursued a welding certification. She has a job she loves and can support herself quite nicely.  The dad told us at a social function that while he had hoped his daughter would have attended a four year college as he did, he realized that his way was not her way.

 

 

 

[Ali in OR]

We expect our two younger girls to go to a 4 year college/university and so far that aligns with their abilities and desires also (oldest is severely disabled--no college, no hs diploma). We transition the girls to public school for high school and this has worked very well for my rising junior (youngest is home one more year for 8th grade). She is well prepared for college; scholarships are welcome but we aren't counting on them to be able to put the girls through school.

[MinivanMom]

Dh and I expect our kids to go straight to a university and then onto grad school, but we have never said that outright to them. We do talk about our own college experiences and about the degrees necessary to pursue careers that our kids are interested in. Our oldest two are definitely on that track and have their own dreams and plans in that regard. I can't imagine our expectations would change unless special needs, health problems, or mental illness became an issue. We haven't encountered any of those situations yet. 

 

We live in a very affluent, educated area, though. Everyone here is a college graduate. I know very few people who took an alternate route to college and even fewer without a degree at all. All the kids here go directly to a university. The few who go onto community college or into the military are spoken about in hushed, shameful whispers. They are the struggling, slacker kids. We have friends who took their middle-schooler on a week-long tour of Ivy League colleges. Another friend flew out to CA with his 12-yr-old just to tour the Stanford campus. I think that's pretty crazy for kids who aren't in high school yet, and we do try to counteract that kind of social pressure by talking to our kids about the importance of pursuing their own dreams and their own path and not worrying about certain colleges or comparing themselves to others. The college expectations here are just so different from the working-class environment that I grew up in.

[Arcadia]

My hubby's extended family expects at least an associate degree because my hubby's generation is the first generation that went beyond high school. So they have the attitude that any kid (without LDs) should be able to go to at least community college after high school. No one has deviate from the high school to college path yet.

 

My family is rather relax as we have so many self employed businessmen and businesswomen in our extended family.

 

We are still trying to figure the American education system and at this point in time would be happy to send our kids to Canadian universities.

 

My parents [Mom, especially] compares my children to my brother's a lot. It does make me glad that we live on the other side of the country from them.

My MIL does that and we aren't in the same country. Hubby handles all the skype calls thankfully and redirects the conversation away from academics. Hubby is the first and only phd holder so far so expectations from his parents and relatives are lots higher on our kids.

[Ivey]

We started homeschooling when I pulled Ds18 (Aspergers and LDs) from public school when he was 7. The next year, we brought the other kids home. 

 

Starting out, I expected that we'd be able to remediate Ds18's learning disabilities within two or three years, then he'd go back to public school, and eventually on to college without any real difficulty. Aspergers didn't seem like a disability at that point - he was just a little quirky. By the time he was about 10, I was worried that he would never make it through high school. Around 14, we decided that community college was probably the most reasonable goal, and he starts in September. 

 

My expectations for my other older kids were about right. In public school, Ds21 and Ds17 were both among the top 2-3 students in their classes, but weren't outliers by any means. I figured pretty early on that they would both be on the honors/AP/DE/whatever track for high school, and would have the choice to attend "good" (not elite) colleges with partial scholarships, or mediocre colleges with full scholarships. Ds21 starts grad school in September, and Ds17 is hoping to attend the same school. 

[creekland]

We planned on all three of ours going to college - specifically our Alma mater (Va Tech) - since we loved it so much.

 

All three are either in or have graduated from college, though none even applied to VT.   :glare:   We're over our feelings of betrayal  :lol: and have become cheerleaders for the schools they selected (see my sig).  They've all loved college.

 

What's unexpected is that middle son now has his apps in for med school.  I'd have NEVER predicted that for one of my kids.  Nonetheless, we're still on the cheerleading squad and look forward to seeing where he ends up.

[creekland]

ps  Both hubby and I were raised with the expectation that we would go away to college too, so I suppose we just kept the new family tradition going.

 

No regrets.

 

But if any of mine couldn't do college or really didn't want to, we'd have likely adjusted just as we did to their not attending our Alma mater.

 

At this point that's not an issue in our family and we all enjoy discussing our college days.

[Pawz4me]

We always had the expectation that our boys would continue their education beyond high school. Whether that was a four year degree and then on to something even more advanced or a technical degree from CC didn't really matter to us. But we knew even when they were born (and they're 17 and 20 now) that a high school diploma wouldn't be enough. We never really had any pre-conceived ideas about scholarships but assumed we'd be paying full freight. But really -- mostly we just wanted (and still want) for them to be happy and able to support themselves.

[BlsdMama]

I'll be brutally honest... When I began homeschooling DD, I had every intention of giving her a rigorous home education, but hoped she'd meet a young man, get married, and never go off to college.  I considered it, most likely, either a waste of $$ or a waste of her time, if indeed all she wanted to do was get married and stay home. 

 

In a twist of irony, not only did I encourage her to go to school, but she is going to a school consistently ranked as a top party school.  She's met the young man, she does want to stay home and homeschool and raise her children... She plans on graduating this next year, take the GRE, and then pursue her Masters.  

 

I thought I had everything figured out.  I was such a wild child I really thought the only way one could avoid that outcome was to keep her away from the atmosphere and I never realized that one day, she would be a (gulp) adult and be capable of making conscious choices with forethought.

 

I have DS, who, up until around 13, I did not consider incredibly strong academically.  He now boggles my mind.  I couldn't see past the elephant (dyslexia) and clearly evaluate his academic ability outside of his reading ability until 12/13.

 

And I now am watching a 14yo undergo that really lovely transformation from little girl to amazing woman and I this age, 14-16ish, is the cocoon stage - when it's all taking place and I think maybe it's my favorite age of all?

 

I thought that once they hit 18ish, that you magically stopped worrying and went onto raising the others and everything is figured out.  I didn't realize you still worry as much and sometimes more..... I have another kiddo with a serious LD, but he's 11 and I am keeping in mind that I can't see the bigger picture yet, so encouragement, guidance, more encouragement.... I'm grateful this one follows others so I don't think this tiny view I see is the whole picture now.

[elegantlion]

We spoke with the assumption that ds would attend school. Neither ex nor I have a college degree (I'm getting there now), and frankly we've seen some of the pitfalls of not having a degree of any sort, including not being able to even put in an application on jobs that we were well qualified to do. I was very relieved when ds found an interest that would require a college degree. But we also had no funds to pay for it. 

 

The plans was to help him qualify for college and dual enroll for the exposure. Early in high school he stalled out on his math skills and ended up taking two years of algebra I. We couldn't afford outsourcing and then divorce put off plans on the dual enrollment. So I lowered my expectations of finding the right fit of school and just getting him into a school. The first year has worked out well, but he'll have to transfer to finish a degree and he's starting that process soon (he'll do another year at his current school). I'm anxious about funding, a kid that has some high goals and really wants to leave the region to finish his degree, and the fact I still can't afford to help him in any way. So I'm trying to help him set up reach, probable, and doable schools to apply. 

 

I had hoped he finish high school with a small group of friends, but as it turns out he didn't. He's okay with that, he's very much an independent person. He's eager to finish his education and get on with life. 

 

 

[Laurel-in-CA]

We expected college. Of course, when I started homeschooling I *expected* they'd all finish high school with an AA in hand. Hahahaha

 

One went straight to art college, pursuing her dream and finished in 4.5 years, is barely making ends meet but has a f/t job in art (not her specialty area) and is painting for small shows. She's the one with debt, though, but none of us could picture her doing anything but art, all art.

 

One went to CC, under protest, in high school because he stopped respecting/responding to me as teacher. He loved it, but swore he couldn't wait to be done. He ended up with an AA and a certificate and transferred to local state U. He'll graduate with his BA debt free due to his diligent work ethic and his well-paying p/t job....well, unless he opts for the semester at sea.

 

One finished high school and is now @ CC. I have asked her to try to finish an AA, in anything, even if she doesn't do it by going f/t. School has always been tough for her and we are concerned about her handling to academic load. But this one has already found what she loves and doesn't necessarily need the AA to do it....just that we are thinking of the future and want her to have that credential on her resume.

 

Fourth child....we've just found the CC to State U route so affordable, unless she suddenly becomes very driven towards a particular career, we will probably follow the same pathway with her. I do expect her to begin some CC classes in high school....maybe even along with her sister.

[Melissa B]

I was completely delusional when I started to homeschool. My eldest was in kindergarten. I seriously thought all of my kids would learn Latin and Greek and study a slew of "great books." Then they would all go to St. John's or some other Great Books College. I love planning and had a twelve year plan in place.

 

:smilielol5:  :smilielol5:

 

I started strong and by the time my eldest was in 8th grade she was beyond what I could teach in Latin and English. So I sent her to the university, planning to take advantage of their Latin, Greek and English classes. Greek never happened. She did take three Latin classes. And as soon as she had enough credits to satisfy both a high school transcript and any state college requirements she dropped the language without a glance back. After 9th grade I never taught her any classes at home. All of her classes were then DE. And the English quickly morphed into Poetry. She took every photography and poetry class open to underclassmen and some poetry classes that were by invitation only. She is now officially in college working toward degrees in photography, poetry (English), sustainability and possibly advertising. I'm not sure she has ever read a "great book."

 

Second dd asked to take an acting class a few years ago. I was shocked. No one in our family did any sort of acting and she never struck me as a child that would want to be up on stage. Surprise! She loved it and nearly every spare minute from then to now has been devoted to theater. She has mild LDs which caused us to drop Latin and readjust the rest of her schedule. She doesn't enjoy anything academic unless it is a foreign language (that is not Latin or Greek.) She registered for DE classes last week and true to form she signed up for two academic classes Summer B (six week classes) so that she could get those credits out of the way and for fall (16 week classes) she is taking Chinese, Sign Language, theater elective, theater elective, theater elective. She is disappointed that they don't offer Japanese. She has been studying with a tutor, but will drop that language for now once her college classes start. I am pushing hard for an AA (in theater) before high school graduation as she plans to travel the world and I fear she may not complete any additional formal education. 

 

Third daughter is quite the academic and even studies Latin. However, she doesn't enjoy homeschooling and as a compromise, she will homeschool two more years and then attend high school. She is very science minded and is considering chemistry or chemical engineering as potential fields.

 

And there is my son. He loves to read! But, he hates school. He wants a full time job - today. He is leaning toward landscape architecture. Due to our location I am sure he will find a part time job either in a garden center or with a lawn care business within the next two or three years. And then we will be going back and forth with him wanting to devote more time to work and me wanting him to devote more time to school. We already struggle with him devoting so much time to his backyard garden and landscaping projects. 

 

So there it is, not a great books college candidate among them. Though I have to admit, they are a fascinating bunch. Not one at all like another. It has been great fun watching them develop passions I would never have considered and growing into such unique young adults. And now I get to come up with all sorts of different school plans and then redo them each year as the children grow and plans change.  :thumbup:

[Prairie~Phlox]

We don't expect a four year school, but would like to see technical degrees from the community college. Dh & I both feel our teens are more hands on & would benefit more from that. Dd does want to get a BS, which is fine, she's on her first full year at CC & has 15 credits already under her belt.

[lllll]

nm

Edited June 21, 2016 by _ ?^..

[Garga]

When I started this whole thing 9 years ago, I believed what I read about homeschooling:

 

The kids would learn to read at about age 4 or 5.

They would love reading and would read soooo much that I'd have to beg them to stop and do other things.

The kids would find all sorts of cool things to be interested in and would research them themselves and be out in the garage inventing useful things out of junk.

The kids would love to play instruments and would play and sing together. They'd probably put on concerts for the family.

They would naturally want to know things about science and math and would take the lead to figure stuff out, reading websites and asking to go to the library to get books.

 

None of that is true. None of it. My kids are pretty average. They don't want to do any school, no matter how fun it is, ever. They didn't learn to read early and the oldest is just now this year starting to find a little bit of enjoyment in reading books. He's 13. My youngest still maintains that he HATES reading. (As a voracious reader, this breaks my heart.). They do not take the lead on anything academic, they hated (hated) lessons with instruments. When left alone, they do not do anything other than say, "I'm bored," and then play with Lego (no science probjects in the garage.)

 

I'm not really upset at those things. I was just surprised. I honestly believed it would be like the fairy tale books I read. I must have missed out on the practical, real homeschooling books.

 

Now, with my feet firmly on the ground, I have no idea what to expect for college. I have been giving my oldest a lot of mini-speeches about his future now that he's entering 9th grade. I think it's dawned on him that the next four years are important because this is his education, not mine. I think he's just now starting to realize that all this "school stuff" is to help him prepare to be a grown, independent man. I can see him look alternately nervous and excited about it.

 

My husband works at a community college. If nothing changes in the next 4 years, my sons will probably start college there. DH and his immediate family do not have to pay for classes. Just the fees and books. Basically, the first two years of the boys' education would be free.

 

I am preparing them for a 4 year as well as the community college where my husband works, just in case they figure out what they want. But right now, with the way they are (having no clue what they want to do with life and not being the sort of homeschooled kids that are go-getters), I'm happy that they'll start at the 2 year and then they can move on after that to 4 year when they figure out what they want.

[Corraleno]

I would never in a million years have predicted DS's trajectory when I first started homeschooling. I pulled him out of PS after his second tour of 3rd grade (2 different schools). Not only had his test scores not improved one bit, by then he was totally shut down, refused to read, hated anything remotely related to school, and thought he was stupid. A classical education was the furthest possible thing from my mind!

 

He had been obsessed with paleontology since he was little, so I focused a lot on that. I arranged for him to go on digs with grad students who were impressed with his knowledge and took him under their wings. He spent a total of about 2 months, over a two year period, digging/cleaning/consolidating/cataloging finds with grad students and post docs. I assumed he would go to our not-very-selective state uni (in our previous state) with a double major in bio and geology, then head off to grad school somewhere. Since he's very dyslexic, I was really worried about the foreign language requirement, so my plan was to have him do four yrs of basic Spanish in high school and try to CLEP out of it.

 

Then in 6th grade, I forced him to read the first Percy Jackson book. (Actually I made him start listening to the audio book, and he hated the voice so much he agreed to read it instead, lol.) That started a passion for all things Greek, which led to lots of Great Courses on Greek history which led to him begging to learn Greek. I tried to talk him out of it. :tongue_smilie: In the end, I agreed to sign him up for Lukeion's Greek class as long as he would do their intensive grammar class over the summer. He aced the grammar class, and has never looked back.

 

He will graduate from HS next year with 5 years of Greek and 3 of Latin, plus 1.5 yrs of Norse, and smatterings of Turkish, Mongolian, and Tuvan. He has gold medals on multiple NLEs and NGEs, he's read tons of Greek literature, including significant chunks of it in Greek, and he's currently reading a 1600-page text on the history of the Greek language for fun. He plans to get a PhD in linguistics —just about the last thing I would have predicted for a dyslexic kid who hated reading and writing!

 

Another thing that I could never have predicted — the kid who was constantly walking into walls, falling out of chairs, and tripping over his own feet, found a sport he loved and is now a national medalist, so that's another thing that has totally turned college plans upside down. It has also affected, to some extent, how we homeschool because his transcript will have to be approved by NCAA.

 

DD is still in middle school, but I'm guessing she will most likely end up at one of the two state flagships, although I would really like her to start at CC and figure out what she's interested in first. I actually think she would be better served in the long run by some sort of employment-linked 2 yr degree, because she's not very academically oriented. She's not a big reader, and is not very interested in history. She likes learning about different science topics, but not the math part. She loves art and does a lot of drawing, crafty things, and makes little videos. I suspect that if she does get a 4 yr degree, she will end up with an unrelated job — like getting an English degree and working in a department store or something. But if that's what she wants to do, that's fine too. I used to think she would be a music teacher or something else related to music, because she's extremely talented and she used to love violin and youth orchestra, plus she loves kids. But, sadly, she gave up music when we moved, and she doesn't want to pick it up again. So that's probably the one thing so far that's surprised me most about her path.

Edited June 19, 2016 by Corraleno

[purplejackmama]

Garga, you are my soul sister. I could have written every single one of your words. I'm still waiting for a scarlet letter of shame to wear because I've successfully raised 3 non-readers! I just can't even believe it. We do the read alouds, I offer up audible on trips, I read all the time myself, and yet none of them enjoy reading. Ever. Sigh.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have always had the goal of letting my kids be able to go to college if that is what they wanted to pursue.  The goal has been to keep all doors open as much as possible.  Ds is starting community college this fall.  I am celebrating that as a more economical step towards a four year degree. 

[StephanieZ]

I have always expected all my kids to go to college and also professional or grad school after a 4 year degree. None have LDs or any other intellectual handicaps, are all high IQ, and both their parents have advanced degrees and all their grandparents had at least 4 year degrees (two of them had advanced degrees as well). So, I don't think that for my kids, those are unusual expectations, especially given that they also have parents (us) who are willing and able to support them through at least 4 year degrees. 

 

If any of my kids had special needs or disabilities that made academic achievement unrealistic, then obviously, I'd adjust my expectations. So far, my expectations still seem realistic for all my kids. I can't control their adult behaviors, so certainly I allow for the possibility that they won't all achieve what I expect, but I certainly hope so.

 

One thing that has evolved for me is that I very much expect them to use college (+/- grad school) as a prequel to a reliable, reasonably well paid career. Unfortunately, college has become *so* expensive that I don't think the expectation I grew up with (go to college, period . . . what you major in is totally up to you . . . follow your bliss . . .) is realistic these days unless you (parents) can afford to pay AGAIN for some professional re-education after they graduate and find they can't get a decent job/career with whatever blissful 4 year degree they started with. I don't want to be supporting my 25+year olds through an entire second education, so I expect them to use their college time to work towards a career.

[Bluegoat]

What has changed most for me is my plan before high school graduation.  I had leaned strongly toward homeschooling all the way through, and now I tend to see their best bet of having the opportunity to do what they want as likely being a mix.

 

I've never had any particular expectation about what they do after university.  I did go, and have a classics degree, my husband has several science degrees, and we have a very educated sort of city with several universities, our church has a lot of university professors, their friend's parents are university people.  So - that option is around and they see it. 

 

My family is very mixed though - military (we are also a navy town,)  trades, artists, self-taught IT types.  There is some farming background, a strong literary and musical focus in some parts of the family, which wasn't associated with universities. 

 

The university grads aren't particularly more successful or content than the others, it isn't a division between smarter or stupid people, so it has never really had that kind of reality to me, as a sort of ticket to success or mark of greater achievement, and I doubt the kids see it that way based on their experiences.

 

My eldest may well go to university, likely not in some kind of "professional" degree capacity, her interests and temperament line up pretty strongly with academia, and her lifestyle interests as well.  If it looks like she might head that way, I'd encourage her to talk to some of the academics we know, to get a good sense of what that would really mean as a life choice, because I certainly don't think its the most secure option, and there are other things she could do.  The younger kids are still too small to see where they might go. 

Edited June 19, 2016 by Bluegoat

[Jean in Newcastle]

The realities of paying for college have played a much bigger role for my one college aged student than I thought it would, way back then. 

[Caviar]

First I must say that I've enjoyed reading the posts!  They've made me realize that the stance that my dh and I have come to is not at all uncommon.  In my family, my brothers and sisters and I were all born and bred to go to college, but my dh has no one in his family who has a four year college degree.  We've decided that if any of our children want to go to college, they may, but they're going to have to work hard to pay those debts!  So, because of the debt we are not pushing college.  We will highly encourage a vocational or technical road in high school, so that when they graduate from high school they will have a skill with which to get a job, work a couple or several years, and maybe then go to college.  We're quite a few years away from this now, but our oldest has already said she has no desire to go to college, and I've told her that that's fine. 

[-M-]

For those of you with older children, how have your views, standards, expectations change through the years when it comes to your children going to college?

 

My views, standards, and expectations have changed little. My view is that a college education can afford the interested and inclined student additional opportunities to decorate the rooms of his or her imagination and perhaps prepare for a first career. My standards became somewhat immaterial by the time each of our children began taking college courses, as each had by then adopted my mantra: "If your name is on it, it represents you: What do you want your work to say about you?" My expectations were that each would evaluate college choices based not only on what "spoke" to them or interested them but also on what the best return on the investment would be.

Edited June 20, 2016 by M--

[-M-]

First I must say that I've enjoyed reading the posts!  They've made me realize that the stance that my dh and I have come to is not at all uncommon.  In my family, my brothers and sisters and I were all born and bred to go to college, but my dh has no one in his family who has a four year college degree.  We've decided that if any of our children want to go to college, they may, but they're going to have to work hard to pay those debts!  So, because of the debt we are not pushing college.  We will highly encourage a vocational or technical road in high school, so that when they graduate from high school they will have a skill with which to get a job, work a couple or several years, and maybe then go to college.  We're quite a few years away from this now, but our oldest has already said she has no desire to go to college, and I've told her that that's fine. 

 

*gently, gingerly* If your signature is current, then your oldest is eleven, which may be too young to make any reliable judgments, yay or nay, about college.

[Liza Q]

I always thought that my children would be very bright, because homeschooling would capitalize on their native abilities and put them ahead of the curve. They would love to read!! They would stay home a long time, probably till they married, go to City College (inexpensive and solid here in NYC) and take on no debt

 

Our oldest did most of this. No trouble with Latin and French, fine in Math, asked to study Philosophy, and decided to read all the Russian novels that I had never read so I told her that she was on her own at 16. Very bright, enough for a really good school but too anxious to handle said school, she went to a local Catholic LAC with a good scholarship and an Honors program. Summa cum laude. Just finished a Masters (Hunter College, part of City College). Chose it over Columbia becasue Columbia would have been about 8-10x the price and she was already borrowing plenty since she was no longer living at home. Lived at home till she was 23, mostly because we encouraged her to move out because I could no longer take all of my not-so-perfect children still home. Four adults and two teens in an apartment was not at all what I though it would be!!! Loves to read and her two passions are statistics and poetry. She works in educational research and is published in small journals.

 

Our next struggled more with math to the point that her SAT and ACT were very weak. She started at community college and she was so ashamed...and I was ashamed because I had never considered it for my children so I was partly responsible for it being so unthinkable! She just graduated (also Hunter, part of City) with a double major in German and International Business and a minor in Spanish. With NO debt. Her dream is a Masters in Linguistics - this kid who cried when I made her do Shurley Grammar because she was 8 and still struggled with the parts of speech, who refused to diagram and study Latin, and then suddenly begged to take German at 14 and everything changed. But she is extremely practical and working 2 jobs. She has always worked 1-2 jobs since she was 15 and she plenty in savings and has traveled in Europe (and Colombia - that gave me a heart attack!!) several times. She loves to read as well. She, her sister, and I still read together - right now we are all reading Trollope and laughing together! She moved out at 23...again, we sort of pushed her out as well. She wanted to go but she is still homesick. She does live with my oldest and a roommate and we see them frequently.

 

{I moved out at 19 and married at 21 so the reality of having my adult daughters at home having to run everything past us was not what I expected! And the 3 girls in one room was a daily nightmare.}

 

Our third daughter has been a shock altogether. Doesn't like to read. Does the minimum in every subject. Her struggles in Math make me think she hasan LD...but she refuses to be tested. A few years ago she threatened to kill herself and the Dr thought she was an anorexic and she was in the hospital and then a program - against her will -for several months and then counseling. Turns out that she had severe food allergies (Celiac and a host of other things) and Eosiphinilic Esophagitis. She was acting....well, she was being very difficult. She already had OCD and sensory issues and we think that her sickness just exacerbated her issues and pushed her over the top, if that makes sense. She struggled through High School and had basically refused to finish anything this spring. Except her outside art/fashion classes - her portfolio is slammingly good, imho! In NY, if she doesn't finish her homeschool work by June of her 4th year of High School, the school district will not "certify" that she is done and she becomes, basically, a high school dropout. A school like Liberty U or Harvard would not care about that, but her dream school (FIT) and the cc that she would need to start at will not accept her without a High School equivalency. So. I am looking at programs that she can attend in the fall to take the TASC. She is depressed becasue she wants to magically get into FIT and study design without having to do any pesky reading or Algebra. I am depressed becasue I look at the past four years and keep thinking that if I had just done something differently...and I don't know how to tell anyone in my family that the fall will have her not in college but at HSE classes. We are both humiliated. BUT! We are both sooo happy since the two older ones moved out. She has her own room and the peace in our home is - palpable. She is so comfortable that she wants to stay home for a long time!

 

So - I just have one more. I have changed my thinking enough that I am open to almost anything....but he says wants to stay home, not borrow, and be practical. He will read anything I give him but he prefers to play Minecraft and Destiny with his friends. He is bright and doing well, but he doesn't care about anything he is learning. And I have come to realize that it is OK for him to be 16 and not care about school. He admits that Pride and Prejudice is a great book but much prefers Percy Jackson - and that is OK too.

 

Wow - this was long! Bottom line  - some things are what I expected but I did not enjoy them like I thought I would  - like having them all home. Instead of moaning that my younger two don't read for pleasure I am so grateful that I can still read with my older two. And all the unexpected things, even the bad things, just remind me that they are persons, like Charlotte Mason would say. They all still like me and respect my opinions, even when they don't agree with me. Awesome!

[Bluegoat]

*gently, gingerly* If your signature is current, then your oldest is eleven, which may be too young to make any reliable judgments, yay or nay, about college.

 

Oh, yes, I maintained through grade 8 that I would go into a trade.

 

Right now, my 11 year old wants to go to Oxford, so long asshe doesn't have to join the rugby team.  Why?  Because the pictures of the river and buildings she has seen really appeal, but the nude rugby team pictures do not.

[Liza Q]

I always thought that my children would be very bright, because homeschooling would capitalize on their native abilities and put them ahead of the curve. They would love to read!! They would stay home a long time, probably till they married, go to City College (inexpensive and solid here in NYC) and take on no debt

 

Our oldest did most of this. No trouble with Latin and French, fine in Math, asked to study Philosophy, and decided to read all the Russian novels that I had never read so I told her that she was on her own at 16. Very bright, enough for a really good school but too anxious to handle said school, she went to a local Catholic LAC with a good scholarship and an Honors program. Summa cum laude. Just finished a Masters (Hunter College, part of City College). Chose it over Columbia becasue Columbia would have been about 8-10x the price and she was already borrowing plenty since she was no longer living at home. Lived at home till she was 23, mostly because we encouraged her to move out because I could no longer take all of my not-so-perfect children still home. Four adults and two teens in an apartment was not at all what I though it would be!!! Loves to read and her two passions are statistics and poetry. She works in educational research and is published in small journals.

 

Our next struggled more with math to the point that her SAT and ACT were very weak. She started at community college and she was so ashamed...and I was ashamed because I had never considered it for my children so I was partly responsible for it being so unthinkable! She just graduated (also Hunter, part of City) with a double major in German and International Business and a minor in Spanish. With NO debt. Her dream is a Masters in Linguistics - this kid who cried when I made her do Shurley Grammar because she was 8 and still struggled with the parts of speech, who refused to diagram and study Latin, and then suddenly begged to take German at 14 and everything changed. But she is extremely practical and working 2 jobs. She has always worked 1-2 jobs since she was 15 and she plenty in savings and has traveled in Europe (and Colombia - that gave me a heart attack!!) several times. She loves to read as well. She, her sister, and I still read together - right now we are all reading Trollope and laughing together! She moved out at 23...again, we sort of pushed her out as well. She wanted to go but she is still homesick. She does live with my oldest and a roommate and we see them frequently.

 

{I moved out at 19 and married at 21 so the reality of having my adult daughters at home having to run everything past us was not what I expected! And the 3 girls in one room was a daily nightmare.}

 

Our third daughter has been a shock altogether. Doesn't like to read. Does the minimum in every subject. Her struggles in Math make me think she hasan LD...but she refuses to be tested. A few years ago she threatened to kill herself and was so skinny that the Dr thought she was an anorexic and she was in the hospital and then a program - against her will -for several months and then counseling. Turns out that she had severe food allergies (Celiac and a host of other things) and Eosiphinilic Esophagitis. She was acting....well, she was being very difficult. She already had OCD and sensory issues and we think that her sickness just exacerbated her issues and pushed her over the top, if that makes sense. She gained weight when we changed her diet and she is looking and feeling strong. She struggled through High School and basically refused to finish anything this spring. Except her outside art/fashion classes - her portfolio is slammingly good, imho! In NY, if she doesn't finish her homeschool work by June of her 4th year of High School, the school district will not "certify" that she is done and she becomes, basically, a high school dropout. A school like Liberty U or Harvard would not care about that, but her dream school (FIT) and the cc that she would need to start at will not accept her without a High School equivalency. So. I am looking at programs that she can attend in the fall to take the TASC. She is depressed because she wants to magically get into FIT and study design without having to do any pesky reading or Algebra. I am depressed because I look at the past four years and keep thinking that if I had just done something differently...and I don't know how to tell anyone in my family that the fall will have her not in college but at HSE classes. We are both humiliated. BUT! We are both sooo happy since the two older ones moved out. She has her own room and the peace in our home is - palpable. She is so comfortable that she wants to stay home for a long time!

 

So - I just have one more. I have changed my thinking enough that I am open to almost anything....but he says wants to stay home, not borrow, and be practical. He will read anything I give him but he prefers to play Minecraft and Destiny with his friends. He is bright and doing well, but he doesn't care about anything he is learning. And I have come to realize that it is OK for him to be 16 and not care about school. He admits that Pride and Prejudice is a great book but much prefers Percy Jackson - and that is OK too.

 

Wow - this was long! Bottom line  - some things are what I expected but I did not enjoy them like I thought I would  - like having them all home. Instead of moaning that my younger two don't read for pleasure I am so grateful that I can still read with my older two. And all the unexpected things, even the bad things, just remind me that they are persons, like Charlotte Mason would say. They all still like me and respect my opinions, even when they don't agree with me. Awesome!

 

I was trying to edit this and now it just looks like one long quote - so strange!!

Edited June 20, 2016 by Liza Q

[-M-]

First I must say that I've enjoyed reading the posts!  They've made me realize that the stance that my dh and I have come to is not at all uncommon.  In my family, my brothers and sisters and I were all born and bred to go to college, but my dh has no one in his family who has a four year college degree.  We've decided that if any of our children want to go to college, they may, but they're going to have to work hard to pay those debts!  So, because of the debt we are not pushing college.  We will highly encourage a vocational or technical road in high school, so that when they graduate from high school they will have a skill with which to get a job, work a couple or several years, and maybe then go to college.  We're quite a few years away from this now, but our oldest has already said she has no desire to go to college, and I've told her that that's fine. 

 

Sorry. I pressed "Add reply" too soon. Still gingerly and gently -- I wanted to add that avoiding college to avoid debt may actually cost one money in adulthood. In past threads of a similar nature, other posters have linked to reliable sources about the relationship between college education and lifetime earnings.

 

We cautioned our children to avoid *unnecessary* college debt. Some of their peers, for example, have completed their first year of college at private schools that offered decent enough aid when they were admitted but for myriad reasons have reduced that aid for the upcoming year. Several are wondering if they can afford to return. More, they are beginning to realize that they could have taken the same courses (e.g., Composition I and II, calculus, and assorted general education) at the local community college for one-sixth the cost. On the college board, there is an active thread about transferring; it can certainly have some pitfalls, but with good planning it can really make college affordable.

 

[Bluegoat]

Sorry. I pressed "Add reply" too soon. Still gingerly and gently -- I wanted to add that avoiding college to avoid debt may actually cost one money in adulthood. In past threads of a similar nature, other posters have linked to reliable sources about the relationship between college education and lifetime earnings.

 

We cautioned our children to avoid *unnecessary* college debt. Some of their peers, for example, have completed their first year of college at private schools that offered decent enough aid when they were admitted but for myriad reasons have reduced that aid for the upcoming year. Several are wondering if they can afford to return. More, they are beginning to realize that they could have taken the same courses (e.g., Composition I and II, calculus, and assorted general education) at the local community college for one-sixth the cost. On the college board, there is an active thread about transferring; it can certainly have some pitfalls, but with good planning it can really make college affordable.

 

 

I don't think you can really use statistics like that for decision making.  There are too many other variables.  On average, maybe going to university ups your expected income.  But no one is actually just an average - there are people being included in that calculation that are going to be prepared for some of the most renumerative careers.  And a lot of people that are very well off and will go into family type careers will also be likely go to university.  And the same kind of thing holds true in the other direction - people who are the most unemployable will not likely go to university, they will also, for the same reasons, not make much money.

 

But for those more towards the middle, I think it is far less clear that those stats are meaningful.  And in individual cases, it may be harder for some people to get work where they want to live with university training rather than some other skill.  When we lived in a smaller town, my dh, who is a chemist, would have had a better time finding work as a welder.

[Corraleno]

 

Our third daughter has been a shock altogether. Doesn't like to read. Does the minimum in every subject. Her struggles in Math make me think she hasan LD...but she refuses to be tested. A few years ago she threatened to kill herself and the Dr thought she was an anorexic and she was in the hospital and then a program - against her will -for several months and then counseling. Turns out that she had severe food allergies (Celiac and a host of other things) and Eosiphinilic Esophagitis. She was acting....well, she was being very difficult. She already had OCD and sensory issues and we think that her sickness just exacerbated her issues and pushed her over the top, if that makes sense. She struggled through High School and had basically refused to finish anything this spring. Except her outside art/fashion classes - her portfolio is slammingly good, imho! In NY, if she doesn't finish her homeschool work by June of her 4th year of High School, the school district will not "certify" that she is done and she becomes, basically, a high school dropout. A school like Liberty U or Harvard would not care about that, but her dream school (FIT) and the cc that she would need to start at will not accept her without a High School equivalency. So. I am looking at programs that she can attend in the fall to take the TASC. She is depressed becasue she wants to magically get into FIT and study design without having to do any pesky reading or Algebra. I am depressed becasue I look at the past four years and keep thinking that if I had just done something differently...and I don't know how to tell anyone in my family that the fall will have her not in college but at HSE classes. We are both humiliated. BUT! We are both sooo happy since the two older ones moved out. She has her own room and the peace in our home is - palpable. She is so comfortable that she wants to stay home for a long time!

 

Does she need a super impressive, rigorous transcript to get into FIT, or is the issue that she just needs a legit diploma of some kind and then admission is based on her portfolio? If it's the latter, have you looked into NARHS? They are a fully accredited school (really more of a homeschool transcript approver/consolidator) registered in Maine and their minimal requirements, according to Maine state law, are very low. Only 17.5 credits needed to graduate, and only 80 hours needed for a full credit, 40 for a half-credit. The only truly required course is US History, but if your DD doesn't have that credit yet, she could always do something focused on the history of American fashion or something. The rest of the required courses (4 English, 1 social studies in addition to American History, 2 science, 2 math, 1 art, 1 PE, .5 credit each in computer literacy & health, and 4.5 electives) are all very very flexible.

 

For example, English could be Graphic Novels, Fantasy Lit, Film as Literature, etc. Math could be a quick run through MUS Algebra, which is super light, plus Consumer Math or Business Math, or make something up like Geometry for Design and Construction (sewing). Health can be cooking and nutrition or a CPR class or whatever you want to throw in there for a total of 40 hours. Science could be an Anatomy & Physiology class focused on drawing the human body, or something like Caveman Chemistry, where the labs include making soap, making glass and plastic, and dyeing fabric. All of the electives could be focused on fashion and design if that's where her passion is, and at only 80 hrs/credit, it wouldn't be too hard to pull together a bunch of credits pretty quickly and get her on track to graduate on time.

 

Good luck!   :grouphug:

SaveSave

[Liza Q]

Thanks Corraleno. FIT is a SUNY (State Uni of NY) school and the SUNY system has very specific requirements for homeschoolers. Our local CCs are part of CUNY (City University of NY) and have the same requirements. So yes - FIT just needs a legit diploma or an approved homeschool option or GED/TASC and then her portfolio is really the issue. Since she is a NYer a diploma from Maine may not be acceptable...NY is just territorial, imo. Out of State students are accepted but pay a lot more and I think that to be considered a NY resident they don't only want residency but also a NY diploma.

 

But I may be wrong! I don't know if NARHS would be acceptable but I will take a look.

[LucyStoner]

I have always had the goal of letting my kids be able to go to college if that is what they wanted to pursue.  The goal has been to keep all doors open as much as possible.  Ds is starting community college this fall.  I am celebrating that as a more economical step towards a four year degree. 

 

 

Same.  College seems to be in the cards for my oldest (in fact he may well be starting college in just a year or two depending on how his high school options shake out) but I never wanted either of my sons to think college was the only valid path to take after completing a secondary education.  

 

I will admit that barring some serious impairment, secondary education that allows for entrance into a college without needing remedial classes, is a goal.  Keeping doors open is exactly how I see that as well.  

 

ETA: my older son has not had a classical education.  His interest in Latin and Greek is for instance of his own self motivation and only to the end of his self imposed competitive spelling goals.  No copy work.  No dictation.  Not big on the memorization of dates and names beyond what his mind retains in reading and writing and discussion.  Does the national mythology exam only because he is interested etc.  I don't know if my younger son will study mythology, Latin or Greek in any depth (and I do not care one way or the other).  

Edited June 21, 2016 by LucyStoner

[FaithManor]

We planned on all three of ours going to college - specifically our Alma mater (Va Tech) - since we loved it so much.

 

All three are either in or have graduated from college, though none even applied to VT.   :glare:   We're over our feelings of betrayal  :lol: and have become cheerleaders for the schools they selected (see my sig).  They've all loved college.

 

What's unexpected is that middle son now has his apps in for med school.  I'd have NEVER predicted that for one of my kids.  Nonetheless, we're still on the cheerleading squad and look forward to seeing where he ends up.

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

Right there with ya!

 

None applied to dh's alma mater, and mine was not strong in their degree choices so off the table too.

 

On top of that we are 4-H leaders so in Michigan that means expressing public loyalty to Michigan State University. Still, we managed to raise two Wolverines ( U of MI), one Bronco, and well, that youngest one who is headed for Aerospace or Robotics Engineering won't be applying to State or our Alma Maters either.

 

We've been a secretive, cheerleading squad for U of MI. LOL, I even volunteered a couple of times last year on campus for a fundraiser, and a community service event that ds was involved in and passionate about. This has morphed into what is likely the most UNHOLY alliance there has ever been in American Higher Education, an autumn community service project through U of Michigan Flint campus for OUR 4-H CLUB!  :svengo:  :svengo:  :svengo:

 

It is going to be an awesome opportunity for the kids, and the professor heading it up feels my pain because her son is going to be at Western Michigan (Bronco land) this fall with my son, and tends to get a bit of a teasing from some of her colleagues. Snicker, snicker....we just laugh and say that maybe we will be the vehicle of peace and healing between the fans of these two rivals. HA! I doubt it. I just need to survive the ribbing I'm getting from our 4-H Council.

[creekland]

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

Right there with ya!

 

None applied to dh's alma mater, and mine was not strong in their degree choices so off the table too.

 

On top of that we are 4-H leaders so in Michigan that means expressing public loyalty to Michigan State University. Still, we managed to raise two Wolverines ( U of MI), one Bronco, and well, that youngest one who is headed for Aerospace or Robotics Engineering won't be applying to State or our Alma Maters either.

 

We've been a secretive, cheerleading squad for U of MI. LOL, I even volunteered a couple of times last year on campus for a fundraiser, and a community service event that ds was involved in and passionate about. This has morphed into what is likely the most UNHOLY alliance there has ever been in American Higher Education, an autumn community service project through U of Michigan Flint campus for OUR 4-H CLUB!  :svengo:  :svengo:  :svengo:

 

It is going to be an awesome opportunity for the kids, and the professor heading it up feels my pain because her son is going to be at Western Michigan (Bronco land) this fall with my son, and tends to get a bit of a teasing from some of her colleagues. Snicker, snicker....we just laugh and say that maybe we will be the vehicle of peace and healing between the fans of these two rivals. HA! I doubt it. I just need to survive the ribbing I'm getting from our 4-H Council.

 

You're better than we are.  We still prohibited UVA applications.   :coolgleamA:   Med school was out there too.  Middle son did contemplate applying to Va Tech's fairly new med school, but we told him it was ok if he skipped it!   :lol:  (They don't have MSTP there yet anyway.)

 

I can tolerate Hive kids going to my rival school, but not my own.  I guess my tolerance is limited.   :closedeyes:

[DawnM]

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

Right there with ya!

 

None applied to dh's alma mater, and mine was not strong in their degree choices so off the table too.

 

On top of that we are 4-H leaders so in Michigan that means expressing public loyalty to Michigan State University. Still, we managed to raise two Wolverines ( U of MI), one Bronco, and well, that youngest one who is headed for Aerospace or Robotics Engineering won't be applying to State or our Alma Maters either.

 

We've been a secretive, cheerleading squad for U of MI. LOL, I even volunteered a couple of times last year on campus for a fundraiser, and a community service event that ds was involved in and passionate about. This has morphed into what is likely the most UNHOLY alliance there has ever been in American Higher Education, an autumn community service project through U of Michigan Flint campus for OUR 4-H CLUB!  :svengo:  :svengo:  :svengo:

 

It is going to be an awesome opportunity for the kids, and the professor heading it up feels my pain because her son is going to be at Western Michigan (Bronco land) this fall with my son, and tends to get a bit of a teasing from some of her colleagues. Snicker, snicker....we just laugh and say that maybe we will be the vehicle of peace and healing between the fans of these two rivals. HA! I doubt it. I just need to survive the ribbing I'm getting from our 4-H Council.

 

Really?  DH's mom is a 4-H leader and I haven't heard this.  

 

DH went to Ferris State and two siblings went to U of M.  

[DawnM]

You're better than we are.  We still prohibited UVA applications.   :coolgleamA:   Med school was out there too.  Middle son did contemplate applying to Va Tech's fairly new med school, but we told him it was ok if he skipped it!   :lol:  (They don't have MSTP there yet anyway.)

 

I can tolerate Hive kids going to my rival school, but not my own.  I guess my tolerance is limited.   :closedeyes:

 

I get it!  DH went to USC for grad school for 2 years and has told our kids they can't go to UCLA!

[Bluegoat]

Same.  College seems to be in the cards for my oldest (in fact he may well be starting college in just a year or two depending on how his high school options shake out) but I never wanted either of my sons to think college was the only valid path to take after completing a secondary education.  

 

I will admit that barring some serious impairment, secondary education that allows for entrance into a college without needing remedial classes, is a goal.  Keeping doors open is exactly how I see that as well.  

 

ETA: my older son has not had a classical education.  His interest in Latin and Greek is for instance of his own self motivation and only to the end of his self imposed competitive spelling goals.  No copy work.  No dictation.  Not big on the memorization of dates and names beyond what his mind retains in reading and writing and discussion.  Does the national mythology exam only because he is interested etc.  I don't know if my younger son will study mythology, Latin or Greek in any depth (and I do not care one way or the other).  

 

I think in a lot of places that people at WTM live, if you are qualify for university, most other things will be fairly open to you as well.  Though I have thought about, for example, what would my kids need skill-wise if they wanted to go into a trade?  If I don't do anything about that, they could still get into the programs, but would they be missing skills that would create success?