Teens not wanting to drive? Anyone?

[heartlikealion]

Maybe who teaches the driving also affects the interest lol. My dad and I were a bad fit. I'm the only child they gave up on with teaching stick shift. My mom freaked out every time we got behind the wheel together, too.

[hornblower]

there is research on this. Here's one survey of the data: https://www.aaafoundation.org/sites/default/files/GDL%20Review%20Final%20AAAFTS%20Version.pdf

[Scarlett]

there is research on this. Here's one survey of the data: https://www.aaafoundation.org/sites/default/files/GDL%20Review%20Final%20AAAFTS%20Version.pdf

That made my head explode. I need a graph or something. LOL

 

The restrictions are not bad at all during the 6 months graduated period. Ds can only have sibling/ member of the household plus one other under aged passenger. He cannot drive between the hours of 10 p.m and 5 a.m unless it relates to work, church or school.

[dirty ethel rackham]

My oldest was not excited about driving AT ALL.  He is my Peter Pan who doesn't want to grow up.  But, we live in the suburbs and we can't get by without driving.  I wanted my kids to get as much experience as possible with our supervision before they left for college, so I made them take drivers' ed when they were 15 and made them do the supervised driving to get their licenses (50 hours.)  I also wanted them to experience driving in all 4 seasons before getting a license.  Not only did I want them to have lots of hours on the road in lots of conditions, but to learn a bit about maintenance, insurance, and any other issues before they hit adulthood.

 

My oldest was putting up the biggest hissy fit on the way to DE the first day but decided that it wasn't so bad after that.  My next one saw that it wasn't so bad and was pretty happy to learn.  Dd is probably the most excited to drive.  She can't get her license for 3 more months, but she has almost all of her driving hours in.   

 

I have to say that many of my oldest kid's friends were also reluctant to drive.  My friend has twins - a boy and a girl.  The girl got her license at 16.  The boy always was too lazy to learn.  His rational was that his sister would always drive him everywhere, so why learn.  (They also live in the city with excellent public transportation.) 

[SorrelZG]

This thread inspired me to practice my driving. I found out MIL was coming over so as soon as she was here and DH was home from work I dragged him out with the intention of just driving around the neighborhood but then I decided to tackle some things that were, in my mind, big scary things (a certain road and intersection, driving in traffic). No one was injured. 

[Hilltopmom]

My kids will likely be late drivers, putting them on our insurance is going to be pricey. We're out in the country but hope to move into town.

But, we don't have an extra car for them to drive anyways.

[LucyStoner]

It will be interesting if the years to come show a drop in accidents for teen drivers. Personally I think drivers ed and expensive courses do not make better drivers. I have had many friends of my youth die in accidents. All of them involved high speed and or drugs and alcohol.

The statistics are already starting to show a drop in fatal vehicle accidents that in states with more laws. Apparently new drivers in their early 20s cause fewer accidents. 22 year olds are just generally a bit more rational and cautious. Not univerally so, but enough to make a difference in how many do stupid shit like drive 100 miles an hour or drive under the influence or let a friend urge them to behave recklessly.

 

The reason the laws restrict new teen drivers from having any or many unrelated passengers is because the liklihood of driving too fast and or under the influence increases with peer pressure. The first friend I lost to a driving accident was in a car crammed with kids, speeding on a back country road and all were inebriated. IIRC, all of the passengers died. The only "positive" thing about that accident was that it was a single car crash and they didn't kill anyone else. He'd be 38 this year. What a high price to pay for one's own teenage stupidity.

 

I think ehe greatest benefit of these laws is delaying when drivers can start driving without any restrictions and ensuring they have experience behind the wheel before the restrictions are lifted, not requiring driver's ed. There is some evidence that in depth instruction helps but the main help is just not having 16-17 year old kids operating what is too often a fairly deadly piece of machinery with peers and no supervision.

 

I didn't take drivers ed or a course (my husband taught me and somehow we stayed married!) but again, I was 24 and had a baby. I wasn't going to be driving recklessly. I have never caused an accident or been even the tiniest bit intoxicated while driving.

Edited March 19, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Baseball mom]

Got one that is nearly 18 and still has no desire to drive.  So far I haven't pushed it. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Personally, I can't imagine sending mine off to college with only 50-100 hours of driving under their belts, even if they don't take a car. I think I'll make mine have 100+ hours practice before even taking their driving test, and then hundreds of hours of driving after that before moving out.

[wendyroo]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying it wouldn't matter if their teen had a license because they don't have a car for them to drive anyway. Don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?

 

When I was a teen I took a drivers ed class and got my learner's permit at 14.75, bought a used car at 15.75 and got my license the day I turned 16. Once I had my own transportation I was able to get a better paying, more reliable job to pay for gas, maintenance and insurance. That car let me earn enough in two years to pay for my first two years at MIT.

 

My scenario was not at all uncommon in the rural Midwest where I grew up. Almost all juniors and seniors drove to school, and while some of their cars actually belonged to their parents, lots of them, like mine, were owned by the students and used to drive to after school jobs.

 

Wendy

[Arcadia]

Once I had my own transportation I was able to get a better paying, more reliable job to pay for gas, maintenance and insurance.

Babysitting or tutoring neighbors' kids afterschool pays much better than minimum wage here and you just need to walk a little. I am living in a high dense area though.

[Prairie~Phlox]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying it wouldn't matter if their teen had a license because they don't have a car for them to drive anyway. Don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?

 

When I was a teen I took a drivers ed class and got my learner's permit at 14.75, bought a used car at 15.75 and got my license the day I turned 16. Once I had my own transportation I was able to get a better paying, more reliable job to pay for gas, maintenance and insurance. That car let me earn enough in two years to pay for my first two years at MIT.

 

My scenario was not at all uncommon in the rural Midwest where I grew up. Almost all juniors and seniors drove to school, and while some of their cars actually belonged to their parents, lots of them, like mine, were owned by the students and used to drive to after school jobs.

 

Wendy

My daughter just bought her own car with money that she's been earning since she was 14. She worked summers full time at 15 & 16 & is now a cashier supervisor at a local greenhouse & working & taking college classes as a senior. But a lot of her friends don't even work. I just discussed this with an acquaintance this week who said her daughter needed to do more.

[Sahamamama]

I'm 49, but I remember when I was 17, 18, I had zero interest in driving. Most of my peers were chomping at the bit to drive, but I didn't get my license until I was 18.5 and my parents insisted. LOL. At the time, the age for a license in our state was 17. I just had no interest at all. Not sure why?

 

I suppose I could get wherever I needed to go without driving myself -- I had a bike, I could walk for miles with no problem, my older sister drove us a few places, and I didn't mind riding in the back seat to go to church with my parents or a friend. Shrug. When my sister transferred to an out-of-state college, my free ride was up. So I finally got a license, but I still really didn't drive anywhere except to college (nearby), work, and church.

 

It didn't signify anything profound, I don't think, just a lack of interest in driving for its own sake. I could drive anywhere, any time now, but I still don't care about driving.

[DawnM]

18 year old does not drive.  We are moving closer to the bus stop so he can have easier access.  He takes the bus to community college, but I have to drive him 10 miles to the nearest bus stop.

[LucyStoner]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying it wouldn't matter if their teen had a license because they don't have a car for them to drive anyway. Don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?

 

When I was a teen I took a drivers ed class and got my learner's permit at 14.75, bought a used car at 15.75 and got my license the day I turned 16. Once I had my own transportation I was able to get a better paying, more reliable job to pay for gas, maintenance and insurance. That car let me earn enough in two years to pay for my first two years at MIT.

 

My scenario was not at all uncommon in the rural Midwest where I grew up. Almost all juniors and seniors drove to school, and while some of their cars actually belonged to their parents, lots of them, like mine, were owned by the students and used to drive to after school jobs.

 

Wendy

Well there's the cost of insurance to consider. For boys it's pretty stinking high but it's higher for girls too.

 

I was making 2x or more the minimum wage after I turned 16 doing everything from typing up tapes for attorneys to working as a legal assistant to managing a ticket office to cleaning houses and more and I had worked on the books from age 12. I just didn't want to spend my money on a car. And with my very poor family circumstances, it's not like the money was going to something frivolous. Thrift store clothes, groceries, utilities, shoes and school supplies for me and my brother and from the time I was 17, housing for me and shortly after also for my little brother. We got free bus passes from the high school and then the same in college (well we paid for them but it was about the same for an annual pass as a 1 month regular pass cost and it came out of my financial aid package.) Not only was traffic a consideration (I could literally bike to one of my jobs in college faster than I could have driven it), for the most part where I needed to be or wanted to be parking was an expense I couldn't easily afford.

Edited March 19, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Scarlett]

The statistics are already starting to show a drop in fatal vehicle accidents that in states with more laws. Apparently new drivers in their early 20s cause fewer accidents. 22 year olds are just generally a bit more rational and cautious. Not univerally so, but enough to make a difference in how many do stupid shit like drive 100 miles an hour or drive under the influence or less a friend urge them to behave recklessly.

 

The reason the laws restrict new teen drivers from having any or many unrelated passengers is because the liklihood of driving too fast and or under the influence increases with peer pressure. The first friend I lost to a driving accident was in a car crammed with kids, speeding on a back country road and all were inebriated. IIRC, all of the passengers died. The only "positive" thing about that accident was that it was a single car crash and they didn't kill anyone else. He'd be 38 this year. What a high price to pay for one's own teenage stupidity.

 

I think ehe greatest benefit of these laws is delaying when drivers can start driving without any restrictions and ensuring they have experience behind the wheel before the restrictions are lifted, not requiring driver's ed. There is some evidence that in depth instruction helps but the main help is just not having 16-17 year old kids operating what is too often a fairly deadly piece of machinery with peers and no supervision.

 

I didn't take drivers ed or a course (my husband taught me and somehow we stayed married!) but again, I was 24 and had a baby. I wasn't going to be driving recklessly. I have never cause an accident or been even the tiniest bit intoxicated while driving.

I do agree that the restrictions that keep a bunch of peers out of the car is helpful. As well as the restriction that prohibits them from driving past 10 without a good reason. That stuff seems like parenting to me but if it takes laws so be it.

[Sahamamama]

New Jersey makes it complicated and difficult for young people to become licensed, so I think that here, at least, that is a large part of the trend for teens to not "care" about driving.

 

http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/Licenses/FirstTime.htm

[Sahamamama]

Yes, this would be a no-brainer to me.  "If you are going to college you need to arrange your own transportation because no one needs their mom to be dropping them off to post-secondary schooling."

 

Well, some people do. I know an 18 year old who is perfectly capable of doing his job and his college classes, but up until now his epilepsy has prevented him from getting a driver's license, and the family's income has kept him from buying a car (plus insurance). It's already a complicated enough process for a first-time driver in my state, but having a seizure disorder from early childhood onward adds a whole other level of complexity. So don't judge the teen whose mom drops him off at college.

[Sahamamama]

They have to have classes if they get their permit before age 18.? Here in OK it is before age 16. And it wasn't expensive at all. $69

 

Here in NJ, the "Early Bird Road" is the epitome of hoop-jumping.

 

http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/Licenses/EarlyBird.htm

[Scarlett]

In AR when I was a teen, if you got your learners permit at age 14 you then had two full years of learning to drive with your parent. My Ds only had 6 months.

[Guest]

I do agree that the restrictions that keep a bunch of peers out of the car is helpful. As well as the restriction that prohibits them from driving past 10 without a good reason. That stuff seems like parenting to me but if it takes laws so be it.

Yes, I agree. I was just having a debate with my BIL at a family dinner because he said something about assuming my DS had driven over to dinner. I said he is not allowed to drive with anyone in the car but a parent or licensed adult over twenty-something. There was some debate about whether or not that is the law in our state (I think it is), but I ended by saying, "well, it's MY law in any case. He only has his Learner's and is very inexperienced; he is not driving a car full of family members or friends."

[Guest]

Well, some people do. I know an 18 year old who is perfectly capable of doing his job and his college classes, but up until now his epilepsy has prevented him from getting a driver's license, and the family's income has kept him from buying a car (plus insurance). It's already a complicated enough process for a first-time driver in my state, but having a seizure disorder from early childhood onward adds a whole other level of complexity. So don't judge the teen whose mom drops him off at college.

That is a completely different circumstance, though. I know several upper teens/young adults with no license, mom driving them to work and college, with no health restrictions. They just didn't get around to it and the parents did not insist. It was observing one such family that actually made me decide early that my own kids were not going this route. I am not driving a healthy, competant, perfectly capable 19-year-old to college, jobs, and volunteer work.

 

This also makes them dependant on their friends in social settings, which could mean they are the passenger in a car with an intoxicated or inexperienced driver. I would MUCH prefer that my DD in college is the one driving her non-driving friends because I trust her to drive properly and not under the influence.

[Bluegoat]

The statistics are already starting to show a drop in fatal vehicle accidents that in states with more laws. Apparently new drivers in their early 20s cause fewer accidents. 22 year olds are just generally a bit more rational and cautious. Not univerally so, but enough to make a difference in how many do stupid shit like drive 100 miles an hour or drive under the influence or let a friend urge them to behave recklessly.

 

The reason the laws restrict new teen drivers from having any or many unrelated passengers is because the liklihood of driving too fast and or under the influence increases with peer pressure. The first friend I lost to a driving accident was in a car crammed with kids, speeding on a back country road and all were inebriated. IIRC, all of the passengers died. The only "positive" thing about that accident was that it was a single car crash and they didn't kill anyone else. He'd be 38 this year. What a high price to pay for one's own teenage stupidity.

 

I think ehe greatest benefit of these laws is delaying when drivers can start driving without any restrictions and ensuring they have experience behind the wheel before the restrictions are lifted, not requiring driver's ed. There is some evidence that in depth instruction helps but the main help is just not having 16-17 year old kids operating what is too often a fairly deadly piece of machinery with peers and no supervision.

 

I didn't take drivers ed or a course (my husband taught me and somehow we stayed married!) but again, I was 24 and had a baby. I wasn't going to be driving recklessly. I have never caused an accident or been even the tiniest bit intoxicated while driving.

 

Generally I think the restrictions make sense, but I do think they can make it harder for kids to get much driving practice.  If there is only one car, there may not be much chance to practice that isn't driving siblings, or a friend, or where a parent can come along. 

 

Driving courses can make a big difference I think even for adults, but they are not all created equal.  I'm not sure most school ones are very good.  The one I took was much more in depth because it meant I could be added as a driver without paying any extra insurance.  There was a lot of information and practice about how to do things like predict risky situations, how to reduce risk in varioud driving situations, how to get out of bad situations that other drivers put you in, and then quite a lot of practice.

[Bluegoat]

Well, some people do. I know an 18 year old who is perfectly capable of doing his job and his college classes, but up until now his epilepsy has prevented him from getting a driver's license, and the family's income has kept him from buying a car (plus insurance). It's already a complicated enough process for a first-time driver in my state, but having a seizure disorder from early childhood onward adds a whole other level of complexity. So don't judge the teen whose mom drops him off at college.

 

Well, yes, sure.  I'm not judging anyone, I don't think it is a bad thing if it just happens to make sense for the child and parent to carpool together either.

 

I don't think, even in the case of medical issues like the one you mention, it is a great situation for adult kids to be dependent on parents to be able to get around.  Sometimes it is what it is, but I would be looking for solutions.

 

I knew a woman, about 30, in a rural area who didn't drive.  She had been in a bad accident, she fell asleep at the wheel and killed a child, and she refused to drive after that.  When I knew her she had a child of her own and lived with her parents.  People in the community were really helpful to her, but it was just so restrictive for her in many ways. 

[Bluegoat]

I don't mind if my kids wait to drive, but they can walk or bus to most things here.  If they are needing to drive much it would be a different story, they would need to figure out a solution one way or another.

[The Girls' Mom]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying it wouldn't matter if their teen had a license because they don't have a car for them to drive anyway. Don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?

 

When I was a teen I took a drivers ed class and got my learner's permit at 14.75, bought a used car at 15.75 and got my license the day I turned 16. Once I had my own transportation I was able to get a better paying, more reliable job to pay for gas, maintenance and insurance. That car let me earn enough in two years to pay for my first two years at MIT.

 

My scenario was not at all uncommon in the rural Midwest where I grew up. Almost all juniors and seniors drove to school, and while some of their cars actually belonged to their parents, lots of them, like mine, were owned by the students and used to drive to after school jobs.

 

Wendy

Don't I wish.  There are no jobs here that one could walk to.  The paltry babysitting jobs they've managed to snag have barely earned them enough for an outfit and shoes, let alone a car.  They have no income to save up to buy a car.  They won't have an income until they have a job, and they won't have a job until they have a way to get there.  Mom is already stretched too thin to drive all these people to jobs.  Not to mention that it is darn near impossible to get hired anywhere if you are under 16, and many places won't hire anyone under 18.  Let's not even talk about the cost of insurance.

 

I have discovered over and over, that the things that seemed so simple to do when I was a teen to make moves towards independence, are much, much more difficult now.  

[Bluegoat]

Not many teens have cars here.  It just costs too much to keep them running.  My cousin who is 20 lives with her parents outside the city, and for a while had a car her dad gave her.  She was constantly scrambling to afford gas, insurance, and the regular expenses.  Then with things like repairs or snow tires there was just now way for her to have the cash for that on a minimum wage job, unless she was pretty much funding the car and nothing else (like school.)

 

It's actually made me really rethink the idea of moving out of the city before we know what the kids might want to do with school. 

[Night Elf]

I wish we were required to display a symbol for learners.  Maybe then people would be a little more patient when my girls do crazy things like drive the speed limit and actually stop at stop signs. :glare:

 

I bought a magnetic sign for the back of my car that says Student Driver. It's not huge like a driving school would be, but I still think it's noticeable especially if someone gets really close to the car.

 

[historically accurate]

My oldest is 14, so she has a year before she can get her permit. My plan at this point is to get her the permit at 15 but no license until 17 or 18. From what I've been told, and I need to verify this, our insurance won't go up until she has a license. So, I'll keep her on the permit practicing until she absolutely needs a license. It does cost $450 for the driving school required to get the permit though. I guess I should start saving for that. In my state, you have to wait until 20 or 21 years old in order to avoid taking driving school for your first license. 

[Tammyla]

Good idea; I found one that says...

 

Caution Student Driver

and Screaming Parent    :driving:  :lol:

I bought a magnetic sign for the back of my car that says Student Driver. It's not huge like a driving school would be, but I still think it's noticeable especially if someone gets really close to the car.
 

 

[elegantlion]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying it wouldn't matter if their teen had a license because they don't have a car for them to drive anyway. Don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?

 

 

 

I grew up in the midwest too and a majority of teens seemed to have cars then - in my eyes it was ALL of them except me.  :driving: . I did buy my own car, but I paid $1800 for a car that was in decent shape and I already had a job. As someone else said, there are no jobs around here for ds to walk to and very few jobs for teens. We live in a rural town of about 10k. Ds thinks it would be futile to get a job just to pay for a car that he sees no need of owning. 

 

Well, yes, sure.  I'm not judging anyone, I don't think it is a bad thing if it just happens to make sense for the child and parent to carpool together either.

 

 

 

It feels weird to drive with your child to school - we both attend the same college. He doesn't care and we rarely see each other until the end of the school day. 

[Matryoshka]

Generally I think the restrictions make sense, but I do think they can make it harder for kids to get much driving practice.  If there is only one car, there may not be much chance to practice that isn't driving siblings, or a friend, or where a parent can come along. 

 

Driving siblings is specifically excluded from the 'no passengers' rule here.  I think partly because that may take away many parents' primary motivator for their kids to get a license!

 

The rule here is no passengers under 21 (I think it's 21, maybe 18?) except siblings, until you've had your license for 6 months, or you turn 18.

 

[Mrs. Y]

Interesting to read this thread.

 

My dc are driving farm trucks around as soon as they can reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel. Some of them drive tractors as young as 8 or 10. A driver's license is a meer formality for them.

 

I have kids who could fix vehicles long before they were old enough to test drive them on tghe road to troubleshoot problems. Imagine being the mom at the wheel with your 13 year old telling you what to do! :lol:

 

For me it is nice when they can drive bg themselves instead of them hollering, "Mom! Get ready to go with me to the feed mill in 2 minutes!"

Edited March 19, 2016 by Colleen OH

[Audrey]

He's not in a hurry.  He's 16 now (turns 17 in a few months) and only just asked if he could go get a learner's permit.  He can drive the tractors and the newer combine (older one is fussy).  I've had him practice driving around the yard with the truck, too.  He bikes to town if he wants to go there and I will take him in the car if I'm going.  I guess he just doesn't see much real need to drive and that might be why he isn't super excited to drive. 

 

Frankly, I was never 'excited' about driving either.  It was just expected to get the permit at 15 and licence at 16, so my parents just took me down to the DMV to do it.  I've always been pretty "meh" about driving anyway. 

[MegP]

I see it as a life skill that is not optional. Just like teaching them about math or science or sex or history...we need to insure that our kids have the  life skill of driving a car. Plus I don't want to drive my kids all over when they can drive themselves!

Edited March 19, 2016 by MegP

[Night Elf]

Maybe I haven't minded being a taxi since I don't have many children with ages spread apart. Right now I drive dd17 to and from high school, which is fine. I drive ds19 to college but he doesn't care about how it looks. Like I said earlier, he has Aspergers and he just sees things and does things different than neurotypical peers. His school is only 15 minutes away. What I'm not going to like is when he has to take classes at a different campus. His campus is very small and doesn't offer a great variety of classes. There are two other campuses within a 45 minute drive that he might need to attend if he wants certain classes. I would like to really push him to get his license, but his Aspergers is confusing. I don't know how much I should push. I mean, if he's really not ready or confident to be on the road, should I expect him to do it? I can see him passing the test and then still not wanting to drive. I realize he's going to have to drive at some point in his life, but when will it be? I just don't know the answer to that question.

 

Dd17 may not get her license this summer, although I think she has the capability to learn and test well. She's just truly afraid of being in such a large machine with other large machines on the road near her. She doesn't know what she'll do if she loses control and she doesn't understand how that might not happen because she has zero confidence in herself. So far she's only driven in the parking lot in a park. I don't know when she'll feel ready to get on an actual road.

[Prairie~Phlox]

My oldest is 14, so she has a year before she can get her permit. My plan at this point is to get her the permit at 15 but no license until 17 or 18. From what I've been told, and I need to verify this, our insurance won't go up until she has a license. So, I'll keep her on the permit practicing until she absolutely needs a license. It does cost $450 for the driving school required to get the permit though. I guess I should start saving for that. In my state, you have to wait until 20 or 21 years old in order to avoid taking driving school for your first license.

This is correct about it nsurance. After dd got her license, she was an occasional driver on our van & it went up by about $50/month. Now with her own car, ours dropped back down & her 2001 Altima is $95/mo. She's 18.

[goldberry]

Regarding "don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?"

 

DD is 17, and a junior.  She is not a kid who handles a lot of stress well, and I don't want her working (in general) during the school year.  She just recently got offered a babysitting job that is one afternoon for 3 hours.  That's perfect to me.

 

She wanted to work last summer, but instead had an opportunity to volunteer at an urgent care clinic.  She is interested in health care and I wanted her to try it out, plus get some experience on her resume.  She wanted to apply for a starbucks job instead, but I pushed her to take the volunteer job, which she did.

 

I get people all the time all judgy on her and us... why isn't she paying for her own things?  Why did you just get an extra car for her?  Is she paying insurance?  Believe it or not, this includes my husband, who was one of those "working since 14" because he had to.  He randomly "forgets" that we made certain choices for DD *not* to work and says, "She really should be paying for her own stuff now..."  ??  I have to remind him why she has no money is because of those choices.

 

One of the reasons among the others given was that yes, I was not up for carting her around even more to and from a job.  She does plan to work this summer, and already has a job lined up.  Car and license to get to and fro - check!

 

ETA, I have a friend whose son just got his licence and bought his own car.  The mom has been hauling him out at 2am for the last two winters to his snow shoveling job to earn that money.  She is a better woman than I!

Edited March 19, 2016 by goldberry

[AK_Mom4]

My two older kids didn't mind driving.  Kid #3 dislikes driving intensely.  They all got permits at 14 and licenses at 16yo.

DD14 has her permit and drives most days with me for practice.  She is doing fine.

 

Oldest DS bought a cheap 1992 beater car when he was 17 and fixed it up with help from DH.   DS passed the car on to oldest DD when he went to college.  DD passed it along to DS20 when she went to college.  DS20 is still driving the beater, but I suspect it will get sold this summer as he needs transportation that is more reliable - he has had to borrow my car a few times this winter when his wasn't working.  DH says it's harder to find the parts and getting more expensive to keep running. 

[greenbeanmama]

I've actually posted about this before. It was one of those instances where I was surprised to find a lot of people did not share my view. :)

 

I have been quite proactive about getting my kids driving competantly and working towards a license. Our state is graduated licensing and there are a lot of requirements. Therefore, I was the one (not my teens) who looked well ahead of time and signed them up for driving courses. I am the one making appointments with the kids to drive and learn with me or DH. I want my kids licensed as soon as they can be for a whole lot of reasons. I definitely want them competantly driving and fully licensed by the time they go to college. I also think most everyone gets a big boost in confidence and feeling in charge of their own lives by getting a license. i also frankly wanted and needed the driving help.

 

I've heard that your children will only have you in the car for a limited amount of time, so make the most of that opportunity and let them drive every chance they can.  I am definitely going to make sure my children have their permits as soon as possible, and have them practice often.  In our state, parents can now teach driver's ed, which is good.  But 20-40 hours of practice before you turn them loose is not nearly enough in my mind.

[mom@shiloh]

We lived in the Midwest when our oldest kids got their licenses.  We bought their cars and they paid insurance and gas.  Their insurance ran about $200/year.  Now we live in the east and insurance for our teen ds will be closer to $1000/year.  It's no surprise that the younger kids aren't as eager to get licensed.  A thousand dollars a year plus the high cost of gas makes it more of a burden than a privilege. 

[HSmomof2]

Not a homeschool thing. We know plenty of teens who have waited to get their licenses, for all kinds of reasons.

That way here, too. I think it's a cultural change. Maybe it's just my perception, but teens today just seem 'younger' than my generation. I couldn't wait to drive. Was at the DMV waiting to take my test before they opened on my 16th birthday. I was ready to drive, mature enough, and was a safe driver. Traffic is terrible where we live now, and I don't like driving much anymore.

[Scarlett]

Maybe I haven't minded being a taxi since I don't have many children with ages spread apart. Right now I drive dd17 to and from high school, which is fine. I drive ds19 to college but he doesn't care about how it looks. Like I said earlier, he has Aspergers and he just sees things and does things different than neurotypical peers. His school is only 15 minutes away. What I'm not going to like is when he has to take classes at a different campus. His campus is very small and doesn't offer a great variety of classes. There are two other campuses within a 45 minute drive that he might need to attend if he wants certain classes. I would like to really push him to get his license, but his Aspergers is confusing. I don't know how much I should push. I mean, if he's really not ready or confident to be on the road, should I expect him to do it? I can see him passing the test and then still not wanting to drive. I realize he's going to have to drive at some point in his life, but when will it be? I just don't know the answer to that question.

 

Dd17 may not get her license this summer, although I think she has the capability to learn and test well. She's just truly afraid of being in such a large machine with other large machines on the road near her. She doesn't know what she'll do if she loses control and she doesn't understand how that might not happen because she has zero confidence in herself. So far she's only driven in the parking lot in a park. I don't know when she'll feel ready to get on an actual road.

 

I know not all Aspies are the same but our young friend (he is about 24 now) got his license around 17 or so and he has done fine.  

[theelfqueen]

Losing my third driver when DS went to college SUCKED! Plus he worked at a grocery store -- so it was super easy to text him "Bring home eggs" LOL

 

[73349]

Traffic is terrible where we live now, and I don't like driving much anymore.

 

If an experienced driver doesn't like it, it's no wonder a 16yo wouldn't, especially a cautious one.

 

 

As a baby, DS cried at red lights. He started telling me when he was 3 that he wanted to drive, trying climb into my seat instead of his car seat. :driving: Now at 8 he complains when he thinks other drivers are too slow. I hope that by his mid-teens, he'll be far more patient than he is now, but not as intimidated by the responsibility as I was.

[Guest]

I've heard that your children will only have you in the car for a limited amount of time, so make the most of that opportunity and let them drive every chance they can. I am definitely going to make sure my children have their permits as soon as possible, and have them practice often. In our state, parents can now teach driver's ed, which is good. But 20-40 hours of practice before you turn them loose is not nearly enough in my mind.

In our state, 60 hours is the required time with an adult, plus classes unless over 18. I agree that there needs to be a lot of time spent with a parent in the car. I even try to think up challenging situations to expose them too - narrow city streets, places with a short merge onto a fast highway, places where they have to wait at a stop on a hill.

 

It's not that I enjoy being the passenger when a kid is learning - I'd rather have a root canal, actually - but it has paid off so far as my DD is very confident and competant behind the wheel. She went with a friend yesterday to the cat café in D.C. and was completely okay with what I think is stressful driving in the area.

[Guest]

Maybe I haven't minded being a taxi since I don't have many children with ages spread apart. Right now I drive dd17 to and from high school, which is fine. I drive ds19 to college but he doesn't care about how it looks. Like I said earlier, he has Aspergers and he just sees things and does things different than neurotypical peers. His school is only 15 minutes away. What I'm not going to like is when he has to take classes at a different campus. His campus is very small and doesn't offer a great variety of classes. There are two other campuses within a 45 minute drive that he might need to attend if he wants certain classes. I would like to really push him to get his license, but his Aspergers is confusing. I don't know how much I should push. I mean, if he's really not ready or confident to be on the road, should I expect him to do it? I can see him passing the test and then still not wanting to drive. I realize he's going to have to drive at some point in his life, but when will it be? I just don't know the answer to that question.

 

Dd17 may not get her license this summer, although I think she has the capability to learn and test well. She's just truly afraid of being in such a large machine with other large machines on the road near her. She doesn't know what she'll do if she loses control and she doesn't understand how that might not happen [/b]because she has zero confidence in herself.[/b] So far she's only driven in the parking lot in a park. I don't know when she'll feel ready to get on an actual road.

IMO, you should push both kids because when they see that they can do it, that it was stressful, but they can overcome, then they do grow in confidence, both specific and general. If you as the parent seem disinterested or as though you don't really expect them to learn to drive, then they may interpret that as a lack of faith that they can learn to drive confidently. I'm a big believer in giving kids the opportunity to rise to the occassion.

[gingersmom]

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/20/fashion/teenagers-driving-parents.html?_r=0

[Professormom]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying it wouldn't matter if their teen had a license because they don't have a car for them to drive anyway. Don't teens buy cars for themselves anymore?

 

When I was a teen I took a drivers ed class and got my learner's permit at 14.75, bought a used car at 15.75 and got my license the day I turned 16. Once I had my own transportation I was able to get a better paying, more reliable job to pay for gas, maintenance and insurance. That car let me earn enough in two years to pay for my first two years at MIT.

 

My scenario was not at all uncommon in the rural Midwest where I grew up. Almost all juniors and seniors drove to school, and while some of their cars actually belonged to their parents, lots of them, like mine, were owned by the students and used to drive to after school jobs.

 

Wendy

This was me and my world exactly. Same area.

 

We still live somewhat close by, and I would say it is different. I am always really surprised to hear how many kids are just not interested. And those are usually the kids whose parents will turn themselves inside out driving them everywhere. It is interesting.

 

My take is that it is a skill that isn't being phased out anytime soon. There are tons of distractions that most of us didn't have to worry about, which is all the more reason that I want them to have so much time behind the wheel before they leave my house that they could drive blindfolded :D A big part of being comfortable behind the wheel is plain, old practice until it becomes second nature. Another part is encountering problems and learning how to deal with them. Most kids in our school had the "ice and snow" driving right of passage. Right after a snowstorm, we had to go out and make the car fishtail so we could practice letting off the brake while counter steering. Those types of automatic physical responses are incredibly helpful in building appropriate confidence. They are not intuitive.

 

Whoever made the comment about large motor skills a few pages back also made an excellent point.

[Professormom]

Interesting to read this thread.

 

My dc are driving farm trucks around as soon as they can reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel. Some of them drive tractors as young as 8 or 10. A driver's license is a meer formality for them.

 

I have kids who could fix vehicles long before they were old enough to test drive them on tghe road to troubleshoot problems. Imagine being the mom at the wheel with your 13 year old telling you what to do! :lol:

 

For me it is nice when they can drive bg themselves instead of them hollering, "Mom! Get ready to go with me to the feed mill in 2 minutes!"

:iagree:

 

I think this makes a difference too. We were rural enough that we drove trucks in fields and tractors of friends at young ages. So learning to drive was familiar and not overly scary. Friends would teach friends to drive. If we bumped a fence or something, we would have an irate farmer tell us off, but that would be the end of it. No lawsuits or charges. But, we were out in the sticks. That would never have worked in the burbs or in a city. And it wouldn't work today.

 

I am not sure if anyone has already mentioned the effect of the difference in car technology on guys who tinker. Most guys were totally willing and excited to work on cars. And they could do ALOT to even a POS to get it up and running. They could make it run with some parts, tools, and elbow grease. If it broke down on the side of the road, they could often fix it. They were motivated to get a car, *and* capable of maintaining it. Of course, there were costs, but they were more spread out.

 

Everything now is computerized. Tinkering will often violate warranties, etc. Kids (guys and girls) aren't learning the skills to fix a car because their parents take their cars in. (And there is nothing wrong with this... It's simply a different time.)

 

My Dh still *can* work on cars. He has the know how. But, he often doesn't because so much of the car is locked down technology, and it isn't worth it to violate the warranty to do it himself. So our guys won't have tons of opportunity to learn. And because they won't have the depth of knowledge Dh (and even I) have, they will need a nicer (read - more expensive) car at the get-go for safety and reliability.

 

It is definitely different. And it has been very interesting reading this thread. This has been something I have noticed and had trouble understanding, so the insight is helpful.