Desert Strawberry Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 5 kids is SO much more difficult and complicated than 2 or 3. I don't know if I hit the limits of my capacity or if there really something crazy about 5, but I am seriously maxed out. I have been since she was born. It's getting better, and she's an easy baby over all. My other kids are all older. My youngest is 4. I just feel like I'm going in three different directions at all times. I just can't quite get a handle on it. Luna is 7 months old. I feel like I should be all settled now, but I am very, very not. I know this will pass. It's supposed to be hard and we've been through a lot. I'm just tired. She's teething and screaming and we aren't sleeping. Wah. . + 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I can't agree with you from experience, since i just have one, but it certainly seems logical to me that 5 kids would be more work than 4 and 4 would more work than 3, etc . . . . I also know that sleep deprivation is hard under any circumstances, and when you have several older children who are past nap age, and yet require supervision and instruction during the day, it's brutal. Sorry you're having a hard time. I hope it gets easier! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 When youngest DD was born, I felt like that for about two years. There is a gap in ages between the older three and the youngest and we had all moved on to Bigger Kid stuff and here I was schlepping a baby around all the time. It was really hard bc things just weren't focused around babies and toddlers any more. Hugs, OP! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Awww. It'll get better. Treat yourself to something you like that can be accomplished with babies. Like a really good peach. Or chocolate. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaNZ Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I have 5 too. My youngest is almost 3. I still feel like I am sinking pretty much constantly. Too many little people need me all at the same time, and I can't help everybody all at once. Sorry I don't have any helpful advice, but you are certainly not alone. Hope her teeth settle and you can get some sleep - I'm sure that will take the edge off the craziness. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Aw man, can you institute a rest time and nap with the baby? Sleep deprivation is THE WORST. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 5 kids is SO much more difficult and complicated than 2 or 3. I'll certainly agree with you since our fifth "child" was twins! :001_smile: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 :grouphug: My youngest (and there are only two) didn't sleep thru the night until 15 mths!! And we moved during that as well. I almost have no memory of that time of my life..... Although I am low intervention, only meds when absolutely necessary, occasionally when I was desperate, I gave her tylenol before bed... I do think teething was the cause.... so we could catch a break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 #4 was like that. he just really took it out of me. he was 12 1/2 when #5 was born. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 My mom used to say she could keep everything all together with 1, 2, or 3 kids, but after 4 kids it was all over. ;) At least you are in good company. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Five has been my number where everything falls apart and is much more difficult, too. You're not alone. Four was a cakewalk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I have 4 and that is definitely my max. Even though they are older now the thought if adding another one is overwhelming. There are those people that say "oh...3 is easier than 2. " or "once you have 3 the 4th is easy". I am not one of those people! It is hard! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 And when you're up at 3 am nursing, know I'm doing the same thing and feel solidarity :lol: Jonathan doesn't want solids at all and is in the 23 pound range. So to maintain his fat rolls he nursed two or three times per night in addition to all day, but looks like someone threw up in his mouth whenever we try table food or a purée. Between my health collapse and his terrible sleeping (he has a sweet temperament, at least!) it's been terrible. I feel like I can't get it together, which I've never struggled with in eight years old solid babies. It sucks, and it is making me question whether or not I want more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 For me, having babies and teens has been quite the stretch. Life isn't as simple as when we could all hunker down at home and school only took an hour or two. Quiet time + easy healthy meals = my sanity. Hugs!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I have five. In a sense it's easier when they get older. And since this is a JAWM thread, I won't say that when they get older you get to graduate to taxi driver and your insanity just comes in a different way! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 :grouphug: Yes, 5 is harder than 3 or 4. It's especially hard when you have a baby to care for and older children too. You are pulled in different directions all at once and feel like you can't do any of it well. :grouphug: But do hold on, and try to get some sleep. It really helps. My youngest is now 10 and my oldest 21. I'm in a very different place now, but 5 is still hard, it's good, but it is hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 My youngest is 2 days younger than yours and her sleep has recently gone to crap (teething, trying to walk, separation anxiety) - I just want to crawl into bed (by myself!) and sleep for a couple days. I was hoping we would be able to use this summer to make up for some of the time we took off after her birth but that didn't work out. I can totally empathize with you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squawky Acres Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 There is something crazy-making about five, but I am hoping it will pass when they get a little bit older. It is certainly easier now that my youngest turned two. He sleeps through the night, can play quietly to amuse himself for a long time (when he wants to -- not necessarily when we are doing school), uses stairs like a regular kid, and can tell us what he needs. 7 months old is a tough age for babies, and it sounds as if most of the problem is a "7-month-old-baby-not-sleeping" problem, which will get better by definition, and not an "I-have-five-kids" problem (which will not). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 :grouphug: Without sleep, nothing is manageable. Do everything you can to get as much sleep as you can. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 ((((((((((((((((((((Strawberry))))))))))))))))))))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfABunch Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 5 was a game changer for me too. I had to stop working full time; I just couldn't juggle everything. My #5 is almost 2 and things have gotten much, much better. Still busy, but mich more manageable than when he was a little baby. It will get easier *hugs* Didn't you move recently too? I'm sure that's adding to the problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Oh, my, yes. Five was surprisingly hard. I have six now and that wasn't as difficult as adjusting to five, but I'be been increasingly overwhelmed as the kids get older and develop more complicated issues. I was reading the other day about Postpartum Depletion and I think that may be a factor in what I experienced when my fifth was born and even a factor in what I'm experiencing now. I'll look for the article. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Here it is: http://goop.com/postnatal-depletion-even-10-years-later/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (((Hugs))) and I wish you sleep!! That's all. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Yes. In hindsight my health crapping out is so not a surprise. I had closely spaced babies and lost a ton of weight - those are immense physiological stressors. I'm also prone to certain issues by genetics. Postnatal depletion definitely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyhock Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Yup. Totally agree. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 :grouphug: Didn't you move to a different state, too? In the last seven months you've given birth AND moved your whole family across state lines. Those are two very stressful, life changing events in less than one year. You, understandably, need some time to regroup. I hope you get some sleep soon. All outlooks look better with sleep. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okra Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Hugs. I totally agree with you. I know this may not be the biggest help right now, but it really will get better. It really will. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I remember those nights with no sleep. But it does get better; really it does. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Five was really, really hard here. Six has been easier. I think sometimes it's just the particular dynamics of the family and circumstances at a given time that makes things overwhelming. (((Hugs))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebbyribs Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Agreeing! My #5 is turning out to be my busiest toddler yet - lots of energy and happily into everything! He and his slightly older brother get along great, and some days that's wonderful, and other days they're through the house like a tornado. :willy_nilly: I'm seriously hoping they'll have mellowed out by next spring! I've been feeling a lot of residual tiredness from our (local) move this summer. I worked every evening and weekend fixing up our new house, packing, moving, unpacking, and getting our old house cleaned, painted, and ready to sell. And right after we listed the old house, I realized I was all. out. of. energy. Anyhow, if you've been pushing yourself to do lots of extra work related to the move, on top of having a non-sleeping baby, it's no wonder you're overwhelmed and worn out. I hope she gets those teeth and starts sleeping better again soon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Going to 5 was really hard for me, too. :grouphug: FWIW, now that they're a bit older, I think I could totally swing 6 or 7. But dh says no. :crying: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 5 kids is SO much more difficult and complicated than 2 or 3. I don't know if I hit the limits of my capacity or if there really something crazy about 5, but I am seriously maxed out. I have been since she was born. It's getting better, and she's an easy baby over all. My other kids are all older. My youngest is 4. I just feel like I'm going in three different directions at all times. I just can't quite get a handle on it. Luna is 7 months old. I feel like I should be all settled now, but I am very, very not. I know this will pass. It's supposed to be hard and we've been through a lot. I'm just tired. She's teething and screaming and we aren't sleeping. Wah. . + You must make sleep a priority. I found this the hard way. Please. Nap, get family or friends over there with a bottle or something. Get. Sleep. Then, somehow, everything slides into manageability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 My five was rough too. He's two now and sometimes easier, but other days he's still as difficult. I am hoping there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Get some sleep in there however possible - turn on the TV, hire a babysitter, pass off to older sibs or Dad or family or friends, WHATEVER. You're very likely to feel much better about it all. FWIW, six isn't as hard. But I maintain a lot of the difficulty is the particular child. And I also maintain that God saw fit to bless me with my littlest after I survived #5's babyhood. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaNZ Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Looks like I need a number 6 to calm things down then.... :lol: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 :grouphug: I hit my wall with 5, too. Now #5 is 4yo and the wall is pretty much knocked down. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 It'll get better :grouphug: Five was when I adjusted my expectations, shortened my to do list, and really brought my older kids into helping. They can vacuum, clean the toilet, make sandwiches, do dishes etc. not in a putative way but in a " we ALL live here and there is no maid" way. And sleep! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I "only" have 4, but I was never amused when the moms of two or three would say stuff like "well, once you u have 2 (or three) what's one more? You won't even notice another kid." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No More Perfect Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 #6 was what "did me in." I had to make sleep a priority more than ever. Please, try to find ways to get rest. If I lived near you, I would truly offer to watch your kids so you could nap, but since I can't, give yourself permission to drop things that are not essential and let your body rest. I know it is hard to do so but it will pay off in the end. Big hugs; I know exactly how you feel! :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Number 5 did me in also. She did not want to sleep at all during the day, and I so needed just an hour or so. It will get better. Try to find a way to get the rest you need and let things go for a bit. It is going to get easier. Number 6 was a breeze after my Number 5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I can imagine it would be crazy with 5 kids (I only have 2), so I doubt there is anything wrong with how you are doing things. Look at the bright side - it will get better as they get older. And remember, "The days are long, but the years are short". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue daisy Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Hugs! This was/is me with my #4. Probably my easiesr, happiest baby but still not sleeping through the night at 20 months and just so busy. I never feel like there's enough of me to go around. And sleep deprivation is just plain awful. I'm sorry that you are struggling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 This thread is such a contradiction to the thread a few weeks ago (might have been in gen ed board) about the lady who had three children and wanted a fourth but was worried about how hard it would be adding a fourth in. the general consensus seemed to be that after three, the fourth just folds into the chaos fairly well. Now I'm getting worried again! I think a lot comes down to your lifestyle though. Sleep is a huge issue of course, find a way to get sleep, naps, setting an older child to 'babysit', an occasional bottle, anything. You NEED sleep. And how much do you get the olders involved in helping out? An attachment parenting family where mummy does most things to allow the kids more free time will have it much harder than a free range family where the older children are expected to pitch in in considerable ways. But remember, babies grow up, and soon this phase will be over and you'll wonder where it all went. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I'll whisper quietly. ;) There is no magic number. Each has hard times and easier times. We had Becca and Tim back to back (born in the same year and NOT twins) and that was a challenge. Elizabeth (now 12 - 4th child) was an intense baby... But so was Cate (current 2 year old - 11th child.) William (current baby) was a DREAM baby and still is but I had HUGE issues nursing and recovering and sleeping and the lack of sleep spun me upside down. :( There is little rhyme or reason to it - Abigail (8yo - 7th) and Sarah (7yo - 8th) were back to back and they were the easiest peasiest transitions of all of them with Olivia (4yo - baby number 9) being a close third place finisher. :D I cannot impress enough how important sleep is, more important even than 100% nursing, more important than cleaning, more important than most everything! ;) I think I was more stubborn than most and steadfastly refused to adjust my expectations (clean house, etc.) so I took a while to relax but I'm more content now with clean/messy than ever and I'm much more relaxed because of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I just found a tooth on Jonathan today, which could explain some of the fussiness. He was up six times between midnight and five am, and I'm dying of exhaustion. Don't tell me it doesn't vastly improve with future kids or I might just schedule hubby for the big V. I wish I really was joking, but this is killing me :( Strawberry, I hope you had a better night than we did. Sleep is so, so crucial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 This thread is such a contradiction to the thread a few weeks ago (might have been in gen ed board) about the lady who had three children and wanted a fourth but was worried about how hard it would be adding a fourth in. the general consensus seemed to be that after three, the fourth just folds into the chaos fairly well. Now I'm getting worried again! I think a lot comes down to your lifestyle though. Sleep is a huge issue of course, find a way to get sleep, naps, setting an older child to 'babysit', an occasional bottle, anything. You NEED sleep. And how much do you get the olders involved in helping out? An attachment parenting family where mummy does most things to allow the kids more free time will have it much harder than a free range family where the older children are expected to pitch in in considerable ways. But remember, babies grow up, and soon this phase will be over and you'll wonder where it all went. I think I maintained my grumpiness about number five even then, but felt like the odd man out :D My number five is such a sweet guy. He just won't sleep worth beans, for love or money. It just depends on the kid, but if you can survive until they're adults they generally become very cool, interesting people, or so I've been promised when I approach wiser moms with my crazy face on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I'm gonna also echo that it depends on the kid. With my #5, I really did wonder if I had postpartum depression or just extenuating circumstances. I even posted that on here, I think! Really lower your bar and allow some messes, someone to watch the kids, kids to pitch in, and don't forget to nap and then take a moment to BE with your kids without worrying about the next step. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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