Is it just me, or are the GoFundme pages getting out of hand?

[G5052]

Yes, it's gotten out of hand.

 

We've hovered near financial ruin at times, and I've always found more work, cut to the bone, sold things, worked out a payment plan, and basically worked it out.  Maybe 5-6 times people wrote us a check out of the goodness of their heart, but we never expected that.  We always had options. 

 

In the years where we couldn't take any kid of vacation, we just accepted that.

 

Of course it would be different if we didn't have options that allowed us to pay things down.  I understand that.  But a lot of them aren't that type of situation.

[DawnM]

It is crazy and I don't know who to believe.  I never give to anyone I don't either know personally or know through someone, but still.....

 

That reminds me, I need to give to two friends who I promised to give $$ to their cause, but NOT through GoFundMe, where they take way too much of the $$ for themselves.

 

Dawn

[3 ladybugs]

That reminds me, I need to give to two friends who I promised to give $$ to their cause, but NOT through GoFundMe, where they take way too much of the $$ for themselves.

 

Dawn

Wait, they charge for this? Oh my they do! 7.9% and 5% of that goes to THEM! Unbelievable! I could see that they may charge credit card fees, but for cash transactions that is WRONG! I would expect the website to be paid for by a foundation or something. This is a for profit website!

 

So for that family that had the dad killed on the way to the hospital to have the 8th kid, that $500,000 wasn't all for the family. $39,500 was for fees and $25,000 went to the site alone! Now that is sick! 😨

[luuknam]

I lost most of my possessions in a house fire years ago.  There was no insurance.  The house was on an acreage, more than x (15?) minutes from the nearest fire department (volunteer?) and had a wood foundation.   There was no insurance because there was no insurance company that would insure it, even though we lived there for years.

 

 

 

Also, although insurance is important, if you are using the foodbank to supplement your food, and are often trying to figure out how to keep all your utilities running because the money just doesn't match the needs - well, insurance ends up being pretty darn low on the list.  

 

Yep. The house we owned in TX was also deemed uninsurable by the insurance companies. It was over 100 years old when we bought it, we owned it for about 6 years, and sold it when we moved to NY, and it still hasn't burned down, but they didn't like the risk.

 

Obviously, we could have bought a different house (not really - bank would not give us a mortgage), or continued renting, so there was some choice involved. We chose to take the risk. For one, the house cost us only $13,500 (and then we spent another $5,000 on foundation repairs), so it wasn't a huge investment to begin with (especially if you consider that the land it was on was worth probably at least $5,000 as well). But, there are times when it would definitely have been very stressful if it'd burned down and we would have needed outside help if it had (we were on food stamps during part of the time we lived there). If it'd burned down during one of the suckier times, we'd probably have had to apply to live in the projects. I suspect that that bureaucracy takes time (although there are always homeless shelters, which I'm sure are a great place to stay with a baby and an autistic preschooler).

 

There have been times that we've contemplated selling some of the food stamp food so we could buy diapers (never did it, but definitely crossed our minds, even though it's illegal). There have been times that we've contemplated virtual begging. Never done that either though.

[VinNY]

We just fundraised for a young widow and did it privately when we found out about the fees on GFM. 

[Hyacinth]

Some of the requests ARE frivolous and, in my opinion, reflect very poorly on the requesters.

 

Yes, I'm judging. Frankly, I don't see how I can properly evaluate the request without judgment.

 

And anyone can judge me for judging. I'm okay with that.

[plansrme]

Some of the requests ARE frivolous and, in my opinion, reflect very poorly on the requesters.

 

Yes, I'm judging. Frankly, I don't see how I can properly evaluate the request without judgment.

 

And anyone can judge me for judging. I'm okay with that.

 

When you put yourself out there on GFM, you are inviting judgment.  If you don't want to be judged, don't put up a GFM request to pay for your kid's week at gymnastics camp!  

[Lady Florida.]

I have to say I am amazed at the level of judgement in this thread. You probably also get mad at the people who use food stamps to buy a birthday cake. How easy it is to say save your money for a few years so you can take that once in a lifetime trip. 

 

 

I don't have a problem with someone buying a birthday cake with food stamps, I think programs to drug test welfare/food stamp recipients are degrading, and I don't care if people who use food stamps have a smart phone. I also wish there was universal health care in the U.S.

 

I don't think it's wrong to ask for help with medical expenses as in the case of 3 ladybugs (though she didn't) or expenses related to a medical situation as with Georgiana's daughter. Also, help with moving expenses to better your job situation? Not frivolous. I don't think asking for help with expenses after a fire is frivolous nor did I see anyone on this thread imply it is. Many of us did say the frivolous requests get in the way and make it difficult to find legitimate situations we might be willing to help with.

 

I don't get mad at anyone for for their Go Fund Me pages.  I do however, think that asking total strangers on the internet to fund your vacation or buy your wedding dress is in poor taste. A once in a lifetime trip, no matter how you look at it, is still a luxury so yes, either save your money or skip the trip. Or you can ask strangers on the internet to fund it, but don't complain when they judge you for it.

[Tsuga]

 

 

How easy it is to say save your money for a few years so you can take that once in a lifetime trip. 

 

I would absolutely ask for help if I could not get my child or parent medical help, yes. And I don't think any of us judge those people for asking for help out of need. We might not do it ourselves or always be able to help, but most people don't judge.

 

For gross luxury items when there are people going hungry in this world, expect to be judged, people.

 

My money's going to Nepal and if you're asking for a motorcycle... well... sorry.

[MrsBasil]

I've seen this complaint before, so it's not just you. That said, it does not bother me, I am not obligated to give or anything.

[ThisIsTheDay]

It is crazy and I don't know who to believe.  I never give to anyone I don't either know personally or know through someone, but still.....

 

 

Yes, I think it's gotten out of hand, although I also believe there is a very valid need for many of the funds.

 

I recently found a GFM page of the now-wife of an ex-boyfriend. She made various claims about medals he'd received and places he'd been while in the military all of which I know are out and out lies. I know that she knows these are lies too (we all knew each other way back when).

 

Part of me considered reporting it (is that even possible?),  but a few weeks after posting it, she took down the page. Thankfully no one had contributed as far as I knew.

 

 

[JuanitaL]

Yes, I think it's gotten out of hand, although I also believe there is a very valid need for many of the funds.

 

I recently found a GFM page of the now-wife of an ex-boyfriend. She made various claims about medals he'd received and places he'd been while in the military all of which I know are out and out lies. I know that she knows these are lies too (we all knew each other way back when).

 

Part of me considered reporting it (is that even possible?),  but a few weeks after posting it, she took down the page. Thankfully no one had contributed as far as I knew.

 

 

 

Please check the Stolen Valor Act of 2013. Depending on the details it could be a crime. And it's despicable. 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Yes, I think it's gotten out of hand, although I also believe there is a very valid need for many of the funds.

 

I recently found a GFM page of the now-wife of an ex-boyfriend. She made various claims about medals he'd received and places he'd been while in the military all of which I know are out and out lies. I know that she knows these are lies too (we all knew each other way back when).

 

Part of me considered reporting it (is that even possible?), but a few weeks after posting it, she took down the page. Thankfully no one had contributed as far as I knew.

 

 

I know you said she took it down, but GFM does have a reporting option.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Please check the Stolen Valor Act of 2013. Depending on the details it could be a crime. And it's despicable. 

 

Thank you. I will continue to stalk them (really) and see if anything else comes up.  If so, I will look into reporting.  I completely agreeing, it is despicable.

 

[Whereneverever]

I've had friends urging me to start one for years-- DD2 could really benefit from a service dog and a lot of agencies ask for a lot of money and have long wait lists.

 

I haven't. I feel too worried about being judged and I'd feel too much like I was bothering people.

 

 

[Greta]

I've had friends urging me to start one for years-- DD2 could really benefit from a service dog and a lot of agencies ask for a lot of money and have long wait lists.

 

I haven't. I feel too worried about being judged and I'd feel too much like I was bothering people.

That is exactly the kind of thing I would WANT to help support. I have to admit that I have exactly zero interest in helping someone else pay for their vacation (unless there were some truly exceptional circumstances) and would probably even be a bit peeved about being asked. But a service dog? That's an entirely different story. I would donate joyfully.

[Joanne]

On the whole I agree with you.  I can't recall if it was here or elsewhere I posted something similar a year or 2 ago and got blasted for it, but since then it has only gotten worse.

 

 

It was just under a year ago. I know because I had a gfm up for moving out of hell house into my apartment. At the time, I felt VERY defensive about that post, but I think contained myself in terms of reaction.

 

It's time to renew my lease. :) The plan was to save enough money and to improve the credit rating "enough" to move into a house at this time. That time frame has shifted by a year - a much healthier and reasonable goal.

 

I had not seen what I thought were "frivolous" gfm requests at that time. I have since observed an increase and an increase in requests that are not "dire needs." I've considered whether I think people "should" ask in dire circumstances only. I think I've arrived at the opinion that people's lives in context are complicated. I try hard to not roll my eyes or dismiss the gfm requests that I would - at first pass- consider frivolous.

 

My move was needed and successful. :)

[Catwoman]

I've had friends urging me to start one for years-- DD2 could really benefit from a service dog and a lot of agencies ask for a lot of money and have long wait lists.

 

I haven't. I feel too worried about being judged and I'd feel too much like I was bothering people.

If someone judges you for wanting to provide your child with a service dog, I will be judging them --- and not in a good way!!! :glare:

 

I agree with Greta -- that is exactly the kind of GFM campaign that I would be happy to support.

[Jennifer132]

An acquaintance from my home state started one to raise money for Disneyland passes for himself, and his wife and two kids. I kid you not, his reason was that "Knott's Berry Farm gets boring, so they needed Disney passes". I did snoop, and no one donated...

 

I should say that my bil has started three pages in the past relating to his ALS. One for a wheelchair accessible bathroom, one for a wheelchair accessible van, and one for a communication device. All are valid reasons in my opinion, and I donated as well as helped spread the word.

[luuknam]

I could see people putting dumb requests on there because of some bet with their buddies. "I think I can get money from random strangers for x". "No way man". "Bet you $50 I can". "You're on".

 

ETA: 'see' as in 'imagine'.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I think the heart of the issue - what bothers us - is greed. And it's nearly impossible to know whether people are being greedy on a GoFundMe page.

This is why I only respond to those where I am acquainted with the person in their situation. 

 

. You can't just call and ask for help? I get a generic Facebook notification along with your other 300 'friends'? There's no shame in needing help and asking for it, but these pages can make it too impersonal. And then there's no real thank you, just a "Yay, we reached our goal!" That bugs me, too. 

I think that calling and asking for help can work, but sometimes it is a large need and those friends may not have enough.  With my friend who died of cancer, she was an important member of the community, but not in close contact with a lot of people who knew her years ago.  Those who were close to her simply gave her son money.  But the GFM page helped reach many people who would not have knows of her predicament, but would have wanted to help.  And this is precisely what happened. 

 

As far is not getting a thank you ... every single time I have responded to a GFM request, I have received a personal thank you from either the recipient or a member of their family. 

 

I get the concept and don't get it at the same time. I had triplets at 24 weeks and one lived 5 months 5 days (the other 2 died at 28 minutes and 11 days). I was in the hospital with them for 1 month prior. We lived 1 hour away and had only one car at the time. It cost $10+ to park a day at the hospital. However it would NEVER occur to me to ask others for help. We did get lots of people asking how they could help, and a few times we took them up on it, but we never asked for it. When our daughter died, the hospital staff gave us nearly $600 because of how bad they felt for us, and honestly how much our daughter taught them. She wasn't suppose to live 24 hours. Btw, I still have most of the cash, 9 years later. I feel funny using it.

 

A few years later I got cancer when my son was 15 months old. Again I never thought to ask for help. I did get many offers again, and a few I took up, but to ask would NEVER occur to me.

 

Maybe my husband and I are more of the mindset that you don't ask for help. I know I am extreamly independent. I just can't imagine begging people for money. I would do ANYTHING else before I would do that.

Most of the accounts I have seen were set up by someone close to the person in need, not the person themselves. 

 

We just fundraised for a young widow and did it privately when we found out about the fees on GFM. 

Yeah, the fees do bite into the donations, but it is a small amount compared to the greater reach that these pages have.  We are paying for convenience. Many people are willing to do that. 

 

I've had friends urging me to start one for years-- DD2 could really benefit from a service dog and a lot of agencies ask for a lot of money and have long wait lists.

 

I haven't. I feel too worried about being judged and I'd feel too much like I was bothering people.

That is definitely a cause I could get behind! 

 

I did donate to a GFM that was not a desperate need.  But, it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I felt would have been a shame to miss.  A friend's son earned a spot on the national team for a sport, but did not have the funds to go to the world championships.  A GFM page was set up for this young man.  I was more than happy to donate a little towards it.  This allowed me to participate when I could not be there for the live fundraiser that they held since it was in another state.  Others may have felt it was frivolous, which is their right.  If they did, they had the option to simply ignore it.  BTW, this kid was very thankful.  I received a note thanking me for the donation right after I sent it.  Then I received another note after he returned from the competition, thanking me again and relating how everything went. 

[mims]

Just saw one this afternoon in my hometown for $20,000 for their dog's surgeries.  

[unsinkable]

I get the concept and don't get it at the same time. I had triplets at 24 weeks and one lived 5 months 5 days (the other 2 died at 28 minutes and 11 days). I was in the hospital with them for 1 month prior. We lived 1 hour away and had only one car at the time. It cost $10+ to park a day at the hospital. However it would NEVER occur to me to ask others for help. We did get lots of people asking how they could help, and a few times we took them up on it, but we never asked for it. When our daughter died, the hospital staff gave us nearly $600 because of how bad they felt for us, and honestly how much our daughter taught them. She wasn't suppose to live 24 hours. Btw, I still have most of the cash, 9 years later. I feel funny using it.

 

A few years later I got cancer when my son was 15 months old. Again I never thought to ask for help. I did get many offers again, and a few I took up, but to ask would NEVER occur to me.

 

Maybe my husband and I are more of the mindset that you don't ask for help. I know I am extreamly independent. I just can't imagine begging people for money. I would do ANYTHING else before I would do that.

I am so sorry for the loss of your babies.

 

:grouphug:

[LucyStoner]

And now for a parody.

 

http://www.gofundme.com/shu9t4

[ThisIsTheDay]

 

 

Most of the accounts I have seen were set up by someone close to the person in need, not the person themselves. 

 

 

This happened to an old high school acquaintance. She has a severely disabled adult child, and there was a specific, one time, unique need.  A friend created a GFM page.  That person then posted the link on the woman's FB page, and within 2 days, $2000 was raised, ALL of it from former high school classmates who'd seen the posts.  It was amazing and incredibly touching.  These were people we went to school with over 30 years ago, and they never would have had the opportunity to donate otherwise.

 

[MomtoCandJ]

And now for a parody.

 

http://www.gofundme.com/shu9t4

LoL

[kiwik]

Since Canada has universal health care, I don't really feel obliged to help out with health care costs either.

 

The other one that gets me is things lost in fires/theft. That was a life choice to not get insurance.... I feel crappy about that one though.

NZ has free healthcare too. But if you live outside the three main centers one parent basically has to move to another city for the duration. If there are other kids someone has to care for them and generally the other parent has to work. There are subsidies for care, travel etc but the don't cover the full cost and if you were already just managing financially the extra stress can be damaging to the whole family.

 

It does upset me though when the call for donations comes as soon as the diagnosis and BEFORE there has been time for there to be financial stress. But I am mean like that - I think people should use their own resources before asking for a share of other people's.

This is probably influenced by the fact that I am really worried about affording the time off to recover from an elective mastectomy and perhaps thinking that if I could bring myself to ask and got a few donations it would help a lot.

[StaceyinLA]

More and more, I find that I am annoyed by people who make life choices and expect me to pay for them. Send my kid to camp! Pay for my kid's gymnastics! Pay my rent! Requests for money that are not to fund choices do not bother me. No one chooses cancer, for instance. But short of that, yeah--I have a problem with the entitlement mentality GFM pages often represent.

 

 

I totally agree here. I didn't really want to post because I don't want to sound cruel or harsh, but I seriously cannot get behind most of the GFM pages. I'm usually a very compassionate person, but sometimes I wonder how legit they all are. 

 

I generally try to help locally if families do fundraisers and such, but I tend to steer clear of anything else.

[Lisa R.]

I have not seen frivolous Go Fund Me posts. I think there will always be some that abuse an otherwise good system. If I saw something silly or shallow, I'd pass by it quickly and not worry about it.

 

I've seen some Go Fund Me posts that alert people to a need they might not otherwise know about. I think those that appropriatly use them and those that contribute to them like to live in community with those that share needs. I feel badly that a prior poster had such significant medical and physical needs and didn't want to accept help from others. Being independent is a good thing, but it is not a weakness to accept needed help.

 

Some want to live in community with others and some want to be an island. I want to live in community. I want to know if there is a trial I can help with. I'm more comfortable giving than I would be receiving. However, if I were in a difficult situation, I hope I have the humility to accept other's help. Asking for help would be hard. Others want to be an island and apparently want to criticize those who don't want that life. Different personalities, different ways to live.

[Dmmetler]

The only one that bothered me was an acquaintance who posted that their kid had gotten into a summer program, and "to teach responsibility", the kid has to raise half the money themselves-but then linked to the kid's GFM page. I can get behind having a teen raise money for something they want to do, even if the family can afford to pay for it. And I'll happily have the kid come over and help with yard work, teach my daughter something, buy homemade baked goods, etc.

 

But to me, for the parent to say that the kid has to raise the funds to learn responsibility while the PARENT is sending out a GFM link to their 300+ closest FB friends rings hollow. I don't see how the kid is actually learning anything from that. 

 

 

 

 

[OH_Homeschooler]

It is crazy and I don't know who to believe.  I never give to anyone I don't either know personally or know through someone, but still...

 

See, I would be be blissfully ignorant of Go Fund Me if it weren't for this one acquaintance I have, and because I know him personally I will not donate to him. To anyone surfing GFM who came across his page, it would seem like a very worthy cause. He's a single dad and a veteran who's about to go homeless and if he does, he'll lose his daughter to foster care.

 

But this is not his first time with a GFM page. And before GFM, he had other websites going back at least two years. All begging for the same thing for the same reasons. All claiming that he just needs someone to help, why won't anyone help? (While he has $450 in donations showing up right there, currently). He claims he can't find a job since he's a single dad and any work he gets would have to be while his daughter is at school/after school programs. 10 hours a day he's free, and he can't find anything? (Our area really does have a good job market right now). Meanwhile, he's got another website talking about all his day trading activities. Hmm, maybe he's actually just gambling the money away. Sorry, but no. You're not getting my money. 

 

He's not even smart enough to cover his online activity. He actually links to his GFM from his site about day trading. Yes, I know probably 99% of the webpages are totally legit. In fact, this guy could really be about to be homeless, but I feel like he'd squander any money I gave him. And yes, I did give him some cash the first time I saw one of his sites, so it does bug me when he whines that no one wants to help. 

[MedicMom]

Out of hand.

 

I just had an emergency c section and have a 29 week baby in the NICU, which will be 45 minutes away when I go home. I can't even bring myself to ask on facebook if anyone would be kind enough to bring me a couple meals this week or help out with childcare or even stupid little things like fast food gift cards while I'm driving back and forth to the hospital for three months.

But then people want Disneyworld trips with no extenuating circumstances.

So yes, it irritates me.

[Hikin' Mama]

And now for a parody.

 

http://www.gofundme.com/shu9t4

Love it! The comments are great too!

[hornblower]

Out of hand.

 

I just had an emergency c section and have a 29 week baby in the NICU, which will be 45 minutes away when I go home. I can't even bring myself to ask on facebook if anyone would be kind enough to bring me a couple meals this week or help out with childcare or even stupid little things like fast food gift cards while I'm driving back and forth to the hospital for three months.

But then people want Disneyworld trips with no extenuating circumstances.

So yes, it irritates me.

 

I suspect the Hivers are going to want to help with this. Set something up girl so we can help you!

[swellmomma]

I suspect the Hivers are going to want to help with this. Set something up girl so we can help you!

Exactly! that baby is one of us, so let us help you with anything you need until you can bring him home where he belongs.  

[Heatherwith4]

Yes, MedicMom, please do let us help you somehow!

[Greta]

I get the concept and don't get it at the same time. I had triplets at 24 weeks and one lived 5 months 5 days (the other 2 died at 28 minutes and 11 days). I was in the hospital with them for 1 month prior. We lived 1 hour away and had only one car at the time. It cost $10+ to park a day at the hospital. However it would NEVER occur to me to ask others for help. We did get lots of people asking how they could help, and a few times we took them up on it, but we never asked for it. When our daughter died, the hospital staff gave us nearly $600 because of how bad they felt for us, and honestly how much our daughter taught them. She wasn't suppose to live 24 hours. Btw, I still have most of the cash, 9 years later. I feel funny using it.

 

A few years later I got cancer when my son was 15 months old. Again I never thought to ask for help. I did get many offers again, and a few I took up, but to ask would NEVER occur to me.

 

Maybe my husband and I are more of the mindset that you don't ask for help. I know I am extreamly independent. I just can't imagine begging people for money. I would do ANYTHING else before I would do that.

 

 

Out of hand.

 

I just had an emergency c section and have a 29 week baby in the NICU, which will be 45 minutes away when I go home. I can't even bring myself to ask on facebook if anyone would be kind enough to bring me a couple meals this week or help out with childcare or even stupid little things like fast food gift cards while I'm driving back and forth to the hospital for three months.

But then people want Disneyworld trips with no extenuating circumstances.

So yes, it irritates me.

 

These are absolutely situations in which I would genuinely want to help.  I have a very hard time asking for help too.  I'm a firm believer that if we (immediate family) *can* do it for ourselves, then we should.  I had a situation (which I recognize was absolutely NOTHING compared to what either of you went through) where I had been sick for a few weeks, and a friend offered to come over and help me clean house.  I was calling her to thank her but tell her that wouldn't be necessary when my daughter said something like, "you always help other people, but you never let anyone help you."  It stopped me in my tracks because it made me think about what kind of example I was setting for her.  It's such a tricky issue, and there is definitely a line that can be crossed between accepting appropriate help and being too free about asking for help when you really could handle things on your own.  I've known both types of people, and I guess I do tend to err on the side of not asking for enough help (honestly, though, most of the time I don't even think about it!  It just doesn't occur to me to ask).  But this is my long-winded way of saying that neither of you were/are anywhere near that line!  Truly, these are the kinds of situations where any decent, good-hearted friend or family member will want to help.  So if it helps at all, think about it like you would be doing THEM a favor by allowing them to feel useful!  Because it's absolutely true!  When someone that I care about is in those kinds of circumstances, it really bothers me if I'm not able to help (live too far away, for example, because that's often the case.)   :grouphug:

[MedicMom]

I don't want to derail the thread...I don't know what or how I would set something up...Amazon maybe? gift cards would be helpful.

If someone has an idea a PM would be fine.

(I'm sorry if this is loopy. I now have a huge raging infection inside and they just gave me pain meds)

[Okra]

Out of hand.

 

I just had an emergency c section and have a 29 week baby in the NICU, which will be 45 minutes away when I go home. I can't even bring myself to ask on facebook if anyone would be kind enough to bring me a couple meals this week or help out with childcare or even stupid little things like fast food gift cards while I'm driving back and forth to the hospital for three months.

But then people want Disneyworld trips with no extenuating circumstances.

So yes, it irritates me.

 

 

It is so hard to ask for help, even when you know that the cause is legitimate.  May I urge you to ask a close friend to help set up meals for you when you go home?  Then, the friend does all the asking, not you.  

[dirty ethel rackham]

For those of you who have trouble asking for help, here is a verse from one of my favorite hymns that we sing at Triduum services (Holy Thursday) during the Mandatum (foot washing.) 

Will you let me be your servant,Let me be as Christ to you?  Pray that I may have the grace to Let you be my servant, too.  

The Servant Song by Richard Gillard

 

[Guest]

I don't want to derail the thread...I don't know what or how I would set something up...Amazon maybe? gift cards would be helpful.

If someone has an idea a PM would be fine.

(I'm sorry if this is loopy. I now have a huge raging infection inside and they just gave me pain meds)

When I'm sick, like I am right now, and minimally functional, I place a call to my closest friend and explain that I need help, I'm desperate. And I don't have two brain cells to rub together to deal with it. Then she does it for me, because she loves me and is an angel like that.

 

I'm specific. I say I need meals, and what kind. I say which household chores would help. I say, if I need gift or gas cards, where they should be from.

 

The more specific and actionable the item, the easier it is for HER to talk to other people and get help. It works much better than being vague.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I'm kind of surprised by the distaste people have for GoFundMe.  

 

 

My two cents.

 

 

 

It seems a convenient way for people to help out for both serious, and frivolous things.  

 

If you don't want to donate to the Smith Family WDW vacation dreams, don't.

 

If you do want to help with the medical expenses an individuals cancer treatment, do.

 

I have lost count of the times I have heard, it can't hurt to ask, in regards to money for both serious and frivolous things.

 

Apparently it can hurt, via judgement of others, if you ask for things that are deemed unworthy.

[3 ladybugs]

I think what I have an issue with is the fact that GFM takes so much off the top! I think it would be better to donate to someone through a paypal account and send it friends and family. No fees that way, or at least minimal if credit cards are used.

 

Thank you for the good thoughts about my babies. I hope that our "adventures" are behind us.

 

Medic mom, I have been there, done that, and got the tee shirt. I can tell already that your child is WAY better off then mine were. I hope your child goes home closer to the 36 week mark and not the 40 week mark. (((Hugs)))

[Catwoman]

I'm kind of surprised by the distaste people have for GoFundMe.

 

 

My two cents.

 

 

 

It seems a convenient way for people to help out for both serious, and frivolous things.

 

If you don't want to donate to the Smith Family WDW vacation dreams, don't.

 

If you do want to help with the medical expenses an individuals cancer treatment, do.

 

I have lost count of the times I have heard, it can't hurt to ask, in regards to money for both serious and frivolous things.

 

Apparently it can hurt, via judgement of others, if you ask for things that are deemed unworthy.

I think many of us were raised with the concept of personal pride. We don't go around asking other people for money for things we should be paying for ourselves.

 

"It can't hurt to ask" seems tacky and low class when a person is asking others to pay for their vacation or something else they should be saving up for and funding on their own.

 

Frankly, I am surprised at how many people believe it's acceptable to do online panhandling to pay for their own luxuries. I can't imagine thinking it is OK to do that.

 

And yes, I'm judging.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I think many of us were raised with the concept of personal pride. We don't go around asking other people for money for things we should be paying for ourselves.

 

"It can't hurt to ask" seems tacky and low class when a person is asking others to pay for their vacation or something else they should be saving up for and funding on their own.

 

Frankly, I am surprised at how many people believe it's acceptable to do online panhandling to pay for their own luxuries. I can't imagine thinking it is OK to do that.

 

And yes, I'm judging.

 

This is the real problem with GoFundMe.

 

Who cares if folks ask for things that seem frivolous?

 

There is absolutely no requirement to help whatsoever.  

 

But here I am "judging the judges" so really I am no better. 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I think what I have an issue with is the fact that GFM takes so much off the top! I think it would be better to donate to someone through a paypal account and send it friends and family. No fees that way, or at least minimal if credit cards are used.

 

Thank you for the good thoughts about my babies. I hope that our "adventures" are behind us.

 

Medic mom, I have been there, done that, and got the tee shirt. I can tell already that your child is WAY better off then mine were. I hope your child goes home closer to the 36 week mark and not the 40 week mark. (((Hugs)))

 

I agree that, they take a lot off the top. That money would be better if it all of it went to those who need it.

[Χά�ων]

I agree that, they take a lot off the top. That money would be better if it all of it went to those who need it.

Prior to GFM people used to go to a bank to set up an account for families in times of great need. Anyone who wanted to donate could send the money to the bank marked for that specific fund. I am sure there were fees of some sort but I personally think a bit off the top is better than having an individual handle everything and the risk that the individual would run off with the money. That situation happened to a friend of mine when her daughter died.

[Catwoman]

This is the real problem with GoFundMe.

 

Who cares if folks ask for things that seem frivolous?

 

There is absolutely no requirement to help whatsoever.

 

But here I am "judging the judges" so really I am no better.

I think that's kind of the point. People do judge. We just do. Even when we don't consciously mean to do it.

 

We know we don't have to help people who ask for frivolous things, but we may still judge them for asking, so I guess what I'm saying is that before people start asking for free money, they should seriously consider whether or not it will bother them if the people who see their request (some of whom they may know in real life) may think less of them as a result.

[Catwoman]

I agree that, they take a lot off the top. That money would be better if it all of it went to those who need it.

Apparently there is a lot of money to be made in helping other people get money. :glare:

 

I do realize that those sites have operating expenses and that we can't expect everyone who works there to work for low pay... but that amount still seems excessive to me.

[Rivka]

Is it inappropriate to mention in this thread that long-time WTMer Farrar Williams has a GoFundMe up to help her Destination Imagination team? The kids have qualified to go to Globals, it's expensive, and they're homeschoolers so they can't call on an institutional sponsor.

 

http://www.gofundme.com/t3bza2mc