Is it just me, or are the GoFundme pages getting out of hand?

[clementine]

Seriously.  On Facebook I am seeing new posts like this at least once a day.   The reasons for the fundraising are ridiculous - I totalled my car, please help me buy a new one, I need a trip to visit my dad (not because he's ill), etc.  

 

I haven't snooped to see if these people actually get donations, but I am kind of disgusted by the reasons for asking.  

 

 

[Guest]

It's not just you.

[Soror]

yep.

[Guest]

Nm

[Catwoman]

It's definitely not just you.

 

The frivolous stuff probably hurts the people who have legitimate needs, because many people (myself included) don't want to bother wading through all of the nonsense on that site, so we miss the important stuff.

[hornblower]

Can't stand this trend. Organized begging.

As I do lots of animal related work for a while I was getting swamped with gfm's for vet bills.  Pleeeeze. Be a responsible animal owner & quit begging for money for fifi.

I know I sound crabby but honestly, it's never ending. Complete with 'threats' of if you can't take them / if people won't donate I'll have to have fifi put to sleep or I'll have to release fifi in the wild (common with rabbits & pocket pets...) Don't put that on others, you irresponsible jerk....

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Even without the frivolous ones, there are still soooooooooo many that you're not going to get through them.

 

You can filter by category to only get the more "serious" ones.

[JuanitaL]

Can't stand this trend. Organized begging.

 

 

 

Virtual panhandling?

 

I wonder how the people with GFM pages feel about people on the street corner?

[OH_Homeschooler]

Yes. And I have an acquaintance who has had one after another, claiming he just needs help getting through his crisis and then he'll pay everyone back. He shares each new campaign on Facebook. Even if he is in serious need, you wonder why he just keeps expecting more handouts. And from his tone, he just doesn't get why no one will help him and really seems to have a persecution complex. (I think he does a lot of day trading, and loses all his donations and pops up begging for more, but he never admits that on his GFM page.) 

 

 

[clementine]

It's definitely not just you.

 

The frivolous stuff probably hurts the people who have legitimate needs, because many people (myself included) don't want to bother wading through all of the nonsense on that site, so we miss the important stuff.

 

Exactly - I think that's what makes me the most disgusted.  

[clementine]

Even without the frivolous ones, there are still soooooooooo many that you're not going to get through them.

 

You can filter by category to only get the more "serious" ones.

 

I didn't know you could do that!  How?

[clementine]

I don't have any bad thoughts toward those who create one and have big needs - a sick child, a house fire, etc., and have donated to a few a them.  I am not against the idea as a whole.  

[Onceuponatime]

I generally ignore GFM requests by people who are not destitute, or approaching destitution, who are asking on their own behalf. I've seen people ask for money to fund hobbies. However, I have given money to help a person that I knew was practically destitute because of circumstances beyond her control. She didn't ask for the money, her sister asked on her behalf, after spending almost all of her own resources to help. I may give to that cause again.

 

I would have to be in a pretty sorry state to publicly ask for money.

[Lady Florida.]

Not just you. Sadly, I don't even look at GoFundMe anymore and might be missing the opportunity to make a real difference. GoFundMe is becoming (has already become?) a joke.

[MomtoCandJ]

I've seen way too many frivolous ones as well, I thought of starting one to help pay for nursing school until I seen all the other ones (and some I noticed are for vacations for after school is done). Those books and supplies are not cheap and I am hoping to come up with the needed funds on my own with minimal student loans.

[BlsdMama]

I love it for serious needs. I think that's awssome.

 

But, yes, I understand on the frivolous requests.

 

Hey... Think I could start a homeschooling fund? ;)

[Lanny]

There is a web site for that to help women get the money to have surgery to have bigger "books". I saw that on TV or read about it.

 

I should put one up to see if other people will contribute to us replacing the top of the roof of our house or a trip to Orlando...

 

Seriously, there are people with very grave needs for medical care and there is a web site I have seen on TV in an "Extra" several times recently that allocates 100% of what the donor has given, but also requests that the donor add in something for the expenses of the non profit running the web site. About 58% of their donors also contribute to the costs of their overhead. They say their bank records and copies of their bank transfers are available on their web site.

 

Compare that to the people wanting a free trip to Hawaii or something dubious and they are not in the same league, although they use the same "Crowd Funding" idea. 

[dirty ethel rackham]

Interesting.  I haven't seen the frivolous GFM requests.  Only very serious ones.  But, then again, I have only responded to accounts from people I know who have a very specific (and usually serious need.)  We set up one for my friend who was dying of cancer.  They were destitute and were in danger of getting thrown out of their house.  No money for a burial.  Another friend had one because the mom is dying of cancer and they found out that the dad was just diagnosed with ALS.  They spent the wad on the mom's cancer treatment and have very little left.  They need to make some modifications to the house to make it livable for the dad as he becomes more disabled. 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I didn't know you could do that! How?

There should be links/buttons/whatever on the left side (desktop version) with filters. I know there's medical, maybe disasters, animals, and a few other things. That will eliminate some that you don't want to see.

[Butter]

I saw one someone shared for a friend of theirs on FB the other day to fund a "once in a lifetime" trip to Disney World.  Their kids were all under 5.  I just shook my head and thought, "Save a few years and take them on their once in a lifetime trip when your kids will be old enough to really remember it and you can pay your own way."

 

On the other hand, another FB friend recently shared a page asking for donations to help bury their son (my friend's nephew) who was killed in a car accident that left at least one parent in serious condition in the hospital.  Such a huge difference between those two pages.  Unfortunately the ones like this one really do get lost in the Disney trip, book job, etc. ones.

[LucyStoner]

Virtual panhandling?

 

I wonder how the people with GFM pages feel about people on the street corner?

I saw a guy on the corner the other day whose sign had his gofundme page on it.

[plansrme]

More and more, I find that I am annoyed by people who make life choices and expect me to pay for them. Send my kid to camp! Pay for my kid's gymnastics! Pay my rent! Requests for money that are not to fund choices do not bother me. No one chooses cancer, for instance. But short of that, yeah--I have a problem with the entitlement mentality GFM pages often represent.

[hornblower]

More and more, I find that I am annoyed by people who make life choices and expect me to pay for them. Send my kid to camp! Pay for my kid's gymnastics! Pay my rent! Requests for money that are not to fund choices do not bother me. No one chooses cancer, for instance. But short of that, yeah--I have a problem with the entitlement mentality GFM pages often represent.

 

Since Canada has universal health care, I don't really feel obliged to help out with health care costs either.

 

The other one that gets me is things lost in fires/theft. That was a life choice to not get insurance.... I feel crappy about that one though.

[Georgiana Daniels]

My daughter and her husband set one up that helped her remain at his side the last few months of his life. So I feel compassion for people who find themselves in a predicament where the GFM is a lifeline.

[happypamama]

My daughter and her husband set one up that helped her remain at his side the last few months of his life. So I feel compassion for people who find themselves in a predicament where the GFM is a lifeline.

That's heartbreaking, Georgiana -- so sorry for your family's loss.

 

I don't mind the GFM for serious stuff, and that includes your daughter. I'm glad she was able to spend the time she could with him. Some friends of ours lost everything, house included, in a fire a few months ago. Nothing can replace their family treasures, nor the time they spent renovating the house by hand, but many people donated to a GFM account to get them back on their feet. I thought that was awesome.

 

ETA: insurance takes time, and when you lose your home, you have very immediate needs. Even with insurance, it may not be quite enough. If a GFM page buys some groceries and toys and new blankets for children who have lost everything, I am totally happy with that.

 

(And I don't care if you buy birthday cakes with your food stamps either.)

[MrsWeasley]

I have a friend who has a GFM campaign that she started to try to help her move out of a toxic living situation. Some people might consider that frivolous. It certainly isn't a crisis, but it isn't frivolous to her or those of us who care about her. 

[JuanitaL]

My daughter and her husband set one up that helped her remain at his side the last few months of his life. So I feel compassion for people who find themselves in a predicament where the GFM is a lifeline.

:grouphug:

 

It's an awesome tool for all the friends/family/people who say "let me know if you need anything" in situations like that. 

[kewb]

I have to say I am amazed at the level of judgement in this thread. You probably also get mad at the people who use food stamps to buy a birthday cake. How easy it is to say save your money for a few years so you can take that once in a lifetime trip. Your insurance isn't paying up anytime soon to replace everything you lost in the fire, sucks to be you.

 

The older I get the more I realize the truth behind the adage about walking a mile in someone else's shoes. Sure, on the surface some of the gfm requests appear frivolous but you just never know. If you don't want to contribute then don't. Unless you know the ins and outs of whatever they are going through please keep the judgements to yourself. And if you do know the ins and outs try extending a little grace.

[JuanitaL]

I have to say I am amazed at the level of judgement in this thread. You probably also get mad at the people who use food stamps to buy a birthday cake. How easy it is to say save your money for a few years so you can take that once in a lifetime trip. Your insurance isn't paying up anytime soon to replace everything you lost in the fire, sucks to be you.

 

The older I get the more I realize the truth behind the adage about walking a mile in someone else's shoes. Sure, on the surface some of the gfm requests appear frivolous but you just never know. If you don't want to contribute then don't. Unless you know the ins and outs of whatever they are going through please keep the judgements to yourself. And if you do know the ins and outs try extending a little grace.

 

I have never gotten mad at someone for using food stamps to buy a birthday cake. I'm not sure I've ever noticed someone using food stamps to buy a birthday cake - but it doesn't make me feel angry sitting here thinking about it. 

 

And I often give $ to panhandlers. Sometimes a water bottle. Sometimes a granola bar. That doesn't make me mad either.

[Butter]

The other one that gets me is things lost in fires/theft. That was a life choice to not get insurance.... I feel crappy about that one though.

 

A student at our taekwondo school had a house fire.  She (age 10) lost everything due to where her bedroom was and where the fire was and her parents lost most things.  They did have insurance, but it takes time to get the money.  All she had was the clothes on her back.  We donated clothes and toys to her family.  Many people at the school did.  Some people gave them gift cards or cash.  This and staying with relatives got them through until the insurance money came and rebuilding could happen.  It wasn't a GoFundMe thing since it was all done in person, but just because they need immediate help it doesn't mean they didn't have insurance.

[hornblower]

the house fire one I struggle with I admit.  Usually our charitable orgs here leap into action. There was a largish fire a few weeks in my town & there was a mountain of clothes toys & furniture donated within hours.  I get that....

& Yeah, I know someone who had insurance & is just wrapping up their claim 18 months later. It's a struggle.

[Onceuponatime]

I certainly don't get mad at the people who want the general public to fund their vacation of a lifetime, I just ignore them. I don't see how it equates to a Birthday cake with food stamps, which I would not get mad at either. I would be more willing to make birthday cakes and give them away free to people who could not afford them than to pay for someone else's family to visit the kingdom of commercialism. Yes, I'm being judgmental.

[Lolly]

Since Canada has universal health care, I don't really feel obliged to help out with health care costs either.

 

The other one that gets me is things lost in fires/theft. That was a life choice to not get insurance.... I feel crappy about that one though.

Another point to consider that the choice may have been insurance on the home or food in the mouth of their children. Insurance is an easy option for those who have the money to pay for it. Quite ironically, they are the ones who need it the least when things go wrong. Just donated to a GFM for a local family. The dh is in tech school trying to do better for his family. They have 5 young children. Money to pay for home insurance wasn't really an option for them at this point in their lives.

[scoutingmom]

I lost most of my possessions in a house fire years ago.  There was no insurance.  The house was on an acreage, more than x (15?) minutes from the nearest fire department (volunteer?) and had a wood foundation.   There was no insurance because there was no insurance company that would insure it, even though we lived there for years.

 

 

 

Also, although insurance is important, if you are using the foodbank to supplement your food, and are often trying to figure out how to keep all your utilities running because the money just doesn't match the needs - well, insurance ends up being pretty darn low on the list.  

[Jenny in Florida]

I will admit to some discomfort with the trend when it comes to non-emergency, non-essential things.

 

For example, I have an acquaintance who set up a GoFundMe page to raise money to buy stuff for her son when he was starting community college. His needs included things like a new laptop, books, art supplies and living expenses. I have a friend whose son was accepted into a well-known summer music program and who set up a page on a similar site to ask people to help pay for not only the tuition but the family's travel expenses to get him there and back. (The second family is about to begin another campaign because the son plans to return for another year of the program.)

 

Both appeals just . . . bugged me. I know it's not popular when I say this, but these things remind me of seeing scouting and other youth groups standing outside of grocery stores shaking cans and asking for donations. I don't like that, either.

 

I have no problem with kids fund-raising to pay for activities, but I'd like to see them "working" for the money, instead of begging for it from friends, family and strangers. 

 

And I do get it. My son had some awesome experiences with his choir that we would not have been able to afford without help. When the group was raising money for the England and Carnegie tours, my son turned out to wash cars and wrap gifts; he performed at fund-raising concerts; he staffed bake sale tables; he sold CDs; he did gigs with the choir for weddings and funerals; he solicited items from local businesses to sell at auction (which provides advertising for the business). I've forgotten all the stuff the kids did. We also paid as much as we could out of pocket. And, even so, he wouldn't have been able to go on the England trip without a scholarship from the choir. At one point, the music director of a show my son was doing asked my permission to set up a fund-raising page on my son's behalf, and we politely turned down the offer, even though we knew it meant my son would not be able to go on the trip.

 

As it turned out, when we told the choir director that my son would have to pull out because we couldn't afford to have him go, she said that was unacceptable and that his several years of contribution to the choir merited a scholarship. So, as a result of having built that relationship and the fact that he had made himself important to the group and pitched in in so many ways over the years, he was awarded the funds that made it possible for him to go. And I am exceedingly grateful. (When we've been able, we've made contributions to the choir's scholarship fund so that the money will be there for the next student in a similar situation.) 

 

He was rescued another time by a partial scholarship from a local youth theatre program when we had to tell them he couldn't do a show in which he had been cast because we weren't in a position to pay the tuition. Again, he had built a relationship with the theatre, both by participating in shows and by volunteering many hours working with younger kids in their summer program. So, when he genuinely needed help, it was offered to him.

 

Other times, he's simply had to skip things when we couldn't afford to pay for them.

 

Neither of the families I mentioned above are destitute. These are not kids raised in poverty who are deprived in any significant way. They are just young people who want to do something their families can't comfortably afford and who haven't managed to find funds through any official, traditional channels to make up the difference. 

 

I have to admit that doesn't really tug at my heartstrings, and seeing the daily reminders on Facebook to "please visit my page!" does kind of leave me feeling icky.

[mom2scouts]

I have a 21 year old relative who set up a GFM page asking people to donate so he could take a trip to Japan.  He comes from an upper middle class family that could probably afford to send him, so it was annoying. Every couple of weeks he reminded people on FB that he still wanted donations.

[Entropymama]

I think the heart of the issue - what bothers us - is greed. And it's nearly impossible to know whether people are being greedy on a GoFundMe page. I'll be honest - they bug me, too. I even had a friend set one up recently when she miscarried and had some medical bills and such. I was happy to help her out, but the page itself bugged me. You can't just call and ask for help? I get a generic Facebook notification along with your other 300 'friends'? There's no shame in needing help and asking for it, but these pages can make it too impersonal. And then there's no real thank you, just a "Yay, we reached our goal!" That bugs me, too. 

[Entropymama]

Also, my older two kids have gone on international mission trips and have asked for donations. We always, always offered to work for the money. It seemed wrong to just take people's money when it wasn't an emergency. Even though they were happy to give. 

[swellmomma]

On the whole I agree with you.  I can't recall if it was here or elsewhere I posted something similar a year or 2 ago and got blasted for it, but since then it has only gotten worse.  I agree with it for raising funds for disasters, illness, I even told my kids next year once they have confirmed where they are going for their missions trips they can start one to raise the funds needed to go (they are supposed to fundraise not pay out of pocket for those trips, though both teens are getting jobs to pay for them anyway, but hoping to fundraise for part of the costs at least)  All 3 older kids are doing missions next summer, each heading to a different location.  There was one started for a local family after the husband died suddenly do to a stupid choice, mom was left with 2 little under 2 years of age so a gfm was started to raise funeral expense and $$ for the girls.  Good cause.  But the ones I see for vacations, plastic surgery etc annoy me.  I had someone suggest I make one to raise funds to buy a bed, since I have not owned one for years and have been sleeping on the floor, but I have refused.  It's no one else's job to do that for me, I could have bought one sooner if I didn't go to homeschool conference, or worked more hours, or made other choices so I am not about to start a page for that.

[Catwoman]

I have to say I am amazed at the level of judgement in this thread. You probably also get mad at the people who use food stamps to buy a birthday cake. How easy it is to say save your money for a few years so you can take that once in a lifetime trip. Your insurance isn't paying up anytime soon to replace everything you lost in the fire, sucks to be you.

 

The older I get the more I realize the truth behind the adage about walking a mile in someone else's shoes. Sure, on the surface some of the gfm requests appear frivolous but you just never know. If you don't want to contribute then don't. Unless you know the ins and outs of whatever they are going through please keep the judgements to yourself. And if you do know the ins and outs try extending a little grace.

No one even remotely suggested that they would judge someone for using food stamps to buy a birthday cake.

 

But if you want to call me judgmental for thinking it is tacky, unnecessary, and in incredibly poor taste to beg for money so you can take your family on vacation so you don't have to bother saving up for it, please feel free to do so.

 

I don't believe in asking others for money unless it is a dire situation and there are no other options. Asking for money to pay for frivolous things is just plain greedy.

[Catwoman]

I have a friend who has a GFM campaign that she started to try to help her move out of a toxic living situation. Some people might consider that frivolous. It certainly isn't a crisis, but it isn't frivolous to her or those of us who care about her.

I can't imagine that anyone would consider your friend to be frivolous. It sounds like she has no other options and is trying to do whatever is necessary to get herself out of a terrible situation.

 

I hope her GFM campaign is very successful. :grouphug:

[kewb]

All I am saying is you never know what is going on behind closed doors. No one is asking you to agree with the people who are starting these go fund me pages. If you don't agree don't contribute. Coming on to a forum and stating that these people are tacky, tasteless, panhandlers, and such is just as tacky as what you (universal, not you personally) are accusing these people of being.

 

Everyone is judgemental. I certainly have my moments. I simply don't think online forums is the place to state it because you never know the whole story.

[Catwoman]

All I am saying is you never know what is going on behind closed doors. No one is asking you to agree with the people who are starting these go fund me pages. If you don't agree don't contribute. Coming on to a forum and stating that these people are tacky, tasteless, panhandlers, and such is just as tacky as what you (universal, not you personally) are accusing these people of being.

 

Everyone is judgemental. I certainly have my moments. I simply don't think online forums is the place to state it because you never know the whole story.

I think it's tacky to ask for money unless your circumstances are truly dire. You are free to disagree with me.

 

I don't think it is tacky to post about it here, in a thread specifically about GFM campaigns, particularly when no one here has said that it's wrong for people who are truly in need to ask for funding.

 

As an example, if someone asks for money for a once in a lifetime family vacation because a family member is dying, that's something many people would want to support, but if someone asks for money for a once in a lifetime family vacation because they're all fine but they feel like going to Disney World and want other people to pony up the cash for it, I think that is tacky.

 

I'm probably not explaining this very well.

[LucyStoner]

All I am saying is you never know what is going on behind closed doors. No one is asking you to agree with the people who are starting these go fund me pages. If you don't agree don't contribute. Coming on to a forum and stating that these people are tacky, tasteless, panhandlers, and such is just as tacky as what you (universal, not you personally) are accusing these people of being.

 

Everyone is judgemental. I certainly have my moments. I simply don't think online forums is the place to state it because you never know the whole story.

I don't have a problem with gofundme pages. I think most people use them to facilitate pooling of money among concerned and interested members of their community. I don't have a problem with crowd funding though I do have some thoughts on the impact and mechanics of it.

 

OTOH, I also don't have a problem with panhandlers. People do what works for them. Who am I to judge or denigrate people for panhandling?

[kewb]

I think it's tacky to ask for money unless your circumstances are truly dire. You are free to disagree with me.

 

I don't think it is tacky to post about it here, in a thread specifically about GFM campaigns, particularly when no one here has said that it's wrong for people who are truly in need to ask for funding.

 

As an example, if someone asks for money for a once in a lifetime family vacation because a family member is dying, that's something many people would want to support, but if someone asks for money for a once in a lifetime family vacation because they're all fine but they feel like going to Disney World and want other people to pony up the cash for it, I think that is tacky.

 

I'm probably not explaining this very well.

That's okay. I'm probably not explaining well either.

[J-rap]

My daughter and her husband set one up that helped her remain at his side the last few months of his life. So I feel compassion for people who find themselves in a predicament where the GFM is a lifeline.

 

Oh my gosh, I'm so, so sorry.  I can't imagine.  I'm so very sorry for your daughter.

 

I don't mind GoFundMe type sites.  I guess I haven't seen the frivolous ones, but if I do, I barely notice them.  I do know that sometimes little things seem like really big things for some people.  Whatever.  No one is forcing anyone to give anything.

 

Of course I support ones that are very serious.  But, I also support people who have big, creative dreams but very little money.  So, nothing life or death -- just a dream.  I guess projects like that are more likely to be found on the Kickstarter site though.

[Tsuga]

I don't have a problem with people asking for money.

 

However, if you go around complaining you don't have enough money, and then post pictures of this, that and the other thing, you're a fool to think you won't be noticed by most, judged by some, and called out on it by the tasteless, busybody few.

 

I also don't care who begs on the street.

 

I'm off Facebook because I do judge and I want to be less judgmental. So I just got out of more people's lives. Now I can't judge them for getting tattoos and then a week later posting about how it's hard to buy groceries for the kids. Because I don't see it happening. It's better for all of us.

[saw]

I love the idea of GoFundMe as a way of enabling people to come together to help out someone they may not know well or at all. I have to say I don't like the ones that ask for money for expensive non-essentials that I wouldn't pay for for my own kids, but I ignore those. I did see one recently that really bugged me though because I thought people being asked to donate were being misled. It was for a summer program that the student had received scholarships for but needed more money. I looked up the program (was curious, I'd never heard of it but it was supposedly hugely prestigious) and saw that the total amount for the program was less than the amount being requested. It felt funny, like the asker was going to be making money from the request. And the people donating were donating a dollar or two at a time, people who clearly didn't have much to spare themselves.

 

[Guest maiyingxi]

It's definitely not just you.

[3 ladybugs]

I get the concept and don't get it at the same time. I had triplets at 24 weeks and one lived 5 months 5 days (the other 2 died at 28 minutes and 11 days). I was in the hospital with them for 1 month prior. We lived 1 hour away and had only one car at the time. It cost $10+ to park a day at the hospital. However it would NEVER occur to me to ask others for help. We did get lots of people asking how they could help, and a few times we took them up on it, but we never asked for it. When our daughter died, the hospital staff gave us nearly $600 because of how bad they felt for us, and honestly how much our daughter taught them. She wasn't suppose to live 24 hours. Btw, I still have most of the cash, 9 years later. I feel funny using it.

 

A few years later I got cancer when my son was 15 months old. Again I never thought to ask for help. I did get many offers again, and a few I took up, but to ask would NEVER occur to me.

 

Maybe my husband and I are more of the mindset that you don't ask for help. I know I am extreamly independent. I just can't imagine begging people for money. I would do ANYTHING else before I would do that.