ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I've had the same conversation repeatedly with both kids and DH. When I've caught them, I've made them take their dishes out of the sink and put them directly into the dishwasher (which they have to walk past to get to the sink!). Youngest DD emptied the dishwasher with me tonight, so I know she knew it was empty. Oldest DD was caught and told to put her plate in after dinner. DH handed me his dinner plate and started to walk away and I caught him and handed it back to him to put in the dishwasher. Yet I come into the kitchen at midnight to plug in my laptop and I find the sink full of dirty dishes and glasses STILL FILLED WITH MILK! :banghead: I know I'm not the only person with this problem. I just still can't understand what makes it so difficult to put dirty things into a half-empty dishwasher. Has anyone figured this out yet? Or, better yet, come up with a solution?! I'm considering making a rule that anyone who put a dirty dish into the sink instead of the dishwasher at any time that day doesn't get fed for the remainder. :willy_nilly: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Its a superpower. I'm the only one in my family with the power. I also seem to be the only one with the power to put trash IN the trash can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 You know? I remember doing this as a kid. I don't know why. The only thing that seems to help around here is letting each of the children take the "loading the dishwasher" chore rotation for a week every few weeks. They realize what a pain it is to keep up with and are more likely to hit the dishwasher. It doesn't completely cure them though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I also believe it is a superpower. Actually, with my aging dishwasher, it really is a superpower to load things in a way to ensure they all get well cleaned. However, I also detest finding a sink full of dirty dishes that I didn't use. I have been known to use my vis a vis markers to write my sentiments on the matter on sink edges and above-sink window panes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I've had the same conversation repeatedly with both kids and DH. When I've caught them, I've made them take their dishes out of the sink and put them directly into the dishwasher (which they have to walk past to get to the sink!). Youngest DD emptied the dishwasher with me tonight, so I know she knew it was empty. Oldest DD was caught and told to put her plate in after dinner. DH handed me his dinner plate and started to walk away and I caught him and handed it back to him to put in the dishwasher. Yet I come into the kitchen at midnight to plug in my laptop and I find the sink full of dirty dishes and glasses STILL FILLED WITH MILK! :banghead: I know I'm not the only person with this problem. I just still can't understand what makes it so difficult to put dirty things into a half-empty dishwasher. Has anyone figured this out yet? Or, better yet, come up with a solution?! I'm considering making a rule that anyone who put a dirty dish into the sink instead of the dishwasher at any time that day doesn't get fed for the remainder. :willy_nilly: Clearly you are not making the consequences painful enough for your family members to do what they're supposed to do. :cursing: I think your rule might help. Do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 When my kids were all younger, I had them use color coded pieces; they each had a bowl, cup and plate in their own color. That way I knew who to hold accountable. Of course there were times that the wrong kid used a certain color, but they knew that the color owner was going to have to make things right, then go seek justice on his own. That really worked. Til they hit the teen years and started eating 7 bowls of cereal a day (into the overnight hours). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I sometimes wish I had a house wide speaker system so I could play the Hallelujah chorus whenever I find a dishwasher emptied of clean dishes or a sink emptied of dirty dishes. That's how happy these things make me. I particularly dislike the "I know!" I get when I ask that dirty dishes in the sink be put in the dishwasher. Dear child, if you "know", then why do I have to say anything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I think it's the action of opening and shutting the door. It's pretty challenging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 At least you all can help me laugh about it :lol: I was seriously ready to throw some stuff earlier. Its a superpower. I'm the only one in my family with the power.I also seem to be the only one with the power to put trash IN the trash can. Indeed! At least they're OK--not great, but OK--at remembering to replace the toilet paper. I hear that's a superpower too. I also believe it is a superpower. Actually, with my aging dishwasher, it really is a superpower to load things in a way to ensure they all get well cleaned.However, I also detest finding a sink full of dirty dishes that I didn't use. I have been known to use my vis a vis markers to write my sentiments on the matter on sink edges and above-sink window panes. See, I don't even mind doing the dishwasher Tetris! I really don't, and I don't blame them for not wanting to try to squeeze things in when the dishwasher's close to full. But this thing was half empty on both levels. They have no excuses! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Clearly you are not making the consequences painful enough for your family members to do what they're supposed to do. :cursing: I think your rule might help. Do it! I think I would if they weren't so good at feeding themselves. Alternatively, I'm considering that all dishes that get put in the sink don't make it into the dishwasher, and when they start to need things to eat with, they have to hand wash everything. They will really, REALLY hate that :thumbup1: ...but they knew that the color owner was going to have to make things right, then go seek justice on his own. That really worked. Til they hit the teen years and started eating 7 bowls of cereal a day (into the overnight hours). :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I sometimes wish I had a house wide speaker system so I could play the Hallelujah chorus whenever I find a dishwasher emptied of clean dishes or a sink emptied of dirty dishes. That's how happy these things make me. I particularly dislike the "I know!" I get when I ask that dirty dishes in the sink be put in the dishwasher. Dear child, if you "know", then why do I have to say anything? :lol: I so remember doing that as a kid. And I remember my dad saying, "Well, if you KNOW, then why didn't you DO IT?" And now I get to say that too. The parents' curse and all that :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I really miss the multi-quote functionality *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 My family just wash their own plates, cups and utensils. None of us like the dishwasher so it has never been used. My boys started hand washing their own stuff last year so if it's not clean enough for their liking, they wash again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 My kids got tired of hearing me say, "In the dishwasher. Not on the dishwasher. Not next to the dishwasher. But in the dishwasher." Apparently I said it a lot. For several months. But they know what to do now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Hey, at least yours make it to the sink. I can't get my family to even put their dirty dishes in the (giant) sink. They seem to think half-full glasses of milk and dirty ice cream bowls are decorative objects . . . which they leave scattered across every conceivable surface both in the kitchen and around the house. I spend half my life gathering their stuff . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Even though I just ate off of/drank from that cup, the fact that I am no longer eating/drinking that food makes it soiled food, and there is nothing more disgusting than soiled food. So I cannot touch it. It makes me gag. I just can't. Puke. Cannot rinse, cannot re-load. Bleh. Puke. Anyway, that was the rationale when I was aged 9-16. I realize now that I was a little prat. At the time, I could not believe my mother was so incredibly stoic in the face of ROTTING FOOD. My older daughter is the same way. She gags her way through the dishes (as did I). I still gag with some dishes, actually, even though theoretically I realize this is not grosser than, for example, wiping my own butt. It is irrational and stupid. I am sorry you are in this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Oh thank God, I thought it was just my kids!!!!!! Every Single Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I sometimes wish I had a house wide speaker system so I could play the Hallelujah chorus whenever I find a dishwasher emptied of clean dishes or a sink emptied of dirty dishes. That's how happy these things make me. I particularly dislike the "I know!" I get when I ask that dirty dishes in the sink be put in the dishwasher. Dear child, if you "know", then why do I have to say anything? It's related to the "I am!" I get when I remind the kids to do a chore they've been assigned, even though as far as I know, neither of them has telekinetic powers. If you were already doing what I told you to do, dear, I wouldn't have said anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Same here. I'm pretty sure DH doesn't want to put dishes in wrong. It's as grating for him to watch me reposition everything he put in as it is for me to find his cups next to the sink. Never mind the fact that I often reposition my own dishes and it's not a knock on his dishwasher loading ability! It doesn't explain the mental block that has him putting clothes NEXT to the laundry basket instead of IN it. I don't let the kids load it yet because the Ninja blades are sharp and not easy to see, and they don't move quick enough to keep the toddler from using the door as a trampoline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'm just as bad as ds lately. Just now I set the bowl on the counter above the dishwasher because I had a coffee mug in my other hand, and at 6:45 am I don't set down the mug except to fill it up. :coolgleamA: As a child we had a portable dishwasher that my mom hated, so she'd hand wash all the dishes. She still prefers to handwash. Ds and I agree, every house needs two dishwasher, one to house dirty, one for clean. It would be better than cabinets here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Loading the dishwasher is a skill that ranks right up there with being able to put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder when the old one is empty....................don't expect these skills to be mastered until about 23 for women and maybe never for men. I have the same frustration. I am working on it but my household struggles with the toilet paper thing and loading the dishwasher.........as well as putting in a clean trash bag when you take the garbage out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I have come to believe there must be a Y-chromosome-linked detergent allergy :glare: that keeps many individuals from fully participating in activities that bring one into contact with cleaning-related objects. Grown women seldom seem to be affected, although some girls are. Actually, to my surprise, DS volunteered to help with the breakfast dishes this morning. DH and I surprised him with a special breakfast, so he's in a good mood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'm lucky that my kids don't complain if I ask them to unload the dishwasher. I'm not sure why. But putting things in seems beyond their interest. What ticks me off is when they don't scrape food off the plates or empty the cups. We don't have a garbage disposal so it's super easy to hold the plate or bowl over the trash and scrape the stuff off. They usually get half? Why not all of it? Oh, and soda cans! Egads! I hate the say our family goes through soda but they do and I hate having to rinse out the cans and let them air dry before I can crush them and put them into the recycle bin. I don't like wet cans in there because it gets messy. So why can't the kids rinse out their own cans? Dd16 has a bad habit of leaving dirty dishes in her room. I make her bring them to the kitchen and she always has a load of them. I told her it's not fair for me to go in there every time I'm ready to run the dishwasher, so I stopped. I figured she'd get tired of seeing the dirty dishes, but nope. They don't seem to bother her at all. She's also the only one in the family that can't be bothered to use the hamper in her room. I'm stunned that she drops clothes all over the floor when one step will put her near the hamper. But hey, it's her room and her laundry, so I don't say anything anymore. And would you believe she has friends over? With her room looking like that! Ewww! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'm just as bad as ds lately. Just now I set the bowl on the counter above the dishwasher because I had a coffee mug in my other hand, and at 6:45 am I don't set down the mug except to fill it up. :coolgleamA: As a child we had a portable dishwasher that my mom hated, so she'd hand wash all the dishes. She still prefers to handwash. Ds and I agree, every house needs two dishwasher, one to house dirty, one for clean. It would be better than cabinets here. We have two dishwashers, and I LOVE it. When we bought this house, I thought it was a cool concept, but thought I'd only use two dishwashers if I was having a party or during the holidays. I quickly realized that they would both be incredibly useful on a daily basis. We fill one and while it is running or if we aren't ready to unload it, we are able to start filling the other one. It is the best thing ever!! I love it! Now there is never any excuse to have dirty dishes sitting out. Except that we often do still have dishes that no one wants to put in the dishwasher. :glare: Sigh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Because your concept of doing the work immediately following the action does not make sense for them. Why put all that effort into the end of a relaxing thing like eating? The consequences of the action are much lower than the enjoyment of not having to think about it when you're done eating. You have to raise the consequences to a level which makes it worthwhile to them. Of course, this level of consequence to all other persons in your home will also be onerous to you. You have to decide if this issue is worthwhile enough to you to put in the time. There is a scheduled dishwasher warden after every meal. Everyone has and cleans their own dishes. Found plates load the entire dishwasher after the next meal. You just leave it alone but add the chore of dish loader to the chore schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Dh took 2 business cards. On the back of one he wrote "dirty" and on the back of the other "clean." When we start the dishwasher we stick the "clean" card on the washer with a magnet. When we put away the last clean dish, we stick the "dirty" card on the washer. This doesn't solve the problem entirely, but at least no one can say, "I didn't know if it was clean or dirty.." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Rofl I just reprimanded DH for leaving a bunch of really disgusting stuff in the sink. Gross food left in the sink in particularly bothers me. I used to just do it. Now I bust people for assuming I am their maid! I do not make my kids do huge piles of dishes. Just put your own darn dishes in the dishwasher! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 my dh can't seem to catch on to this particular task either. I have *finally* gotten him to take his dishes to the sink, but he cannot seem to fathom the art of placing it in the dishwasher. You'll appreciate this. I had to leave early this morning to pick up my grandson. I had emptied dishwasher and then put a few dirty dishes into it before I left. My dh called as I was gtting home to inform me that he had thought the dishwasher was broken since there was still dirty dishes in there this morning :huh: So, he started the dishwasher up to figure it out.... and what do I find in the sink.... his breakfast dishes. <_< I didn't say anything since he had started the dishwasher I didn't want to appear ungrateful, ya know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWillSoar Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 This is me too! Every morning I unload the dishwasher. No, I don't like it. I'd much rather get my coffee and get straight to the morning news. But the dishwasher is unloaded every morning. The kids know that 9 times out of 10, they can put their dishes straight into the dishwasher. That way there is not a monumental mess at the end of the day for one person to clean up. They are supposed to do dishes after dinner, so it directly affects whoever has that chore. But still, I'm always catching them putting their dishes in the sink. It makes me mad at this point as I've told them so many times. And don't get me started on the amount of cups left on the counter. Once I counted ten cups in one day, and we are a family of five! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I think it's the action of opening and shutting the door. It's pretty challenging. I think this is it. Also, my cats have determined that I am the only one capable of opening the backdoor correctly, and will walk all over the house to get me to come to the back door and open it rather than ask the family members that were sitting in the same room as the cat and the door. (Said family members often try to open the door for the cats, who look at them with disdain because obviously those people are not doing that door opening thing correctly.) So, yeah. DOORS ARE HARD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3in9th Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I have a theory that it takes about 50 times of telling my kids something like this before they start doing it right. We all tend to graze and nest (most especially since they're homeschooled) so all it takes is my saying we need to have a dish pick up. That seems to work and they negociate amongst themselves as far as loading and unloading the dishwasher. FWIW, the only time I had a dishwasher in college, my three roommates were incapable of filling it, turning it on, and unloading it. I was gobsmacked that there'd be an overflowing sink of dirty dishes when the dishwasher was right there. I was even more shocked because I was a very messy person then and they had me beat on filthiness hands down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Perhaps it would help if the spend time "being" the dishwasher. Go back to basic training. Old school dish washing by hand for a couple of months. Wash, dry , put away. They all get a turn. They may come to see and appreciate the ease of putting dishes in the dishwasher and walking away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 My family just wash their own plates, cups and utensils. None of us like the dishwasher so it has never been used. My boys started hand washing their own stuff last year so if it's not clean enough for their liking, they wash again. Hmm... If I were to simply unplug our old dishwasher, I'm sure they would believe that it broke... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 My kids are bad about it. DH is not. I don't know what the deal is either. I guess it's an extra step and they are lazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Sometimes I think it is because putting your dishes in the dishwasher requires some sort of bending at the waist. Other times it is because my children know it is clean and don't want to unload it. Putting dish in sink gives them plausible deniability. Sometimes, they are just plain lazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 * oops, double post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommytobees Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I don't have time to read all the responses....but here is how I solved that problem: I started making a point of KNOWING for a fact who used which dish. Then, when said person failed to use the dishwasher, they owed ME a chore. This went for my husband too! I didn't do chores for a week! Tick mom off and no one is happy!!! I actually had to say something to my dd13 the other day about dishes. It was amazing how fast she "remembered" to use the dishwasher! Good luck, Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Same here. I'm pretty sure DH doesn't want to put dishes in wrong. It's as grating for him to watch me reposition everything he put in as it is for me to find his cups next to the sink. Never mind the fact that I often reposition my own dishes and it's not a knock on his dishwasher loading ability! It doesn't explain the mental block that has him putting clothes NEXT to the laundry basket instead of IN it. I don't let the kids load it yet because the Ninja blades are sharp and not easy to see, and they don't move quick enough to keep the toddler from using the door as a trampoline. I'd be tickled pink with Next to the laundry basket. Even in the same room as the laundry basket is practically in the laundry basket. It is the shirts in the mancave and socks in the living room that drive me nuts. I'm even willing to place a laundry basket In the living room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Sarcasm. Heavy sarcasm. For dh I make a point of asking, "are you done eating? Are you saving this dish for anything?" I try to be neutral because he is such a gem in so many (other) ways. For youngest dd I loudly explain how the "magic cabinet" won't work for the dishes on top of it. They have to be inside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingiguana Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I'd be happy with one or the other. Load OR empty. I gave up on my oldest. She finally moved out. My 2nd one had it down. And then she started college. Even though she's still living at home, she rarely does dishes any more. I've also discovered that having a PhD does not make one able to operate the laundry equipment. Or even get one's clothes down the laundry chute. Piling them in the hallway next to the chute seems to be the same thing. And I'm on a campaign to get people to realize that all that handy toilet paper that has been appearing conveniently in the cabinet right next to the toilet for years wasn't put there by the toilet paper fairy. Someone had to go down in the basement and retrieve a full package to fill the cabinet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfABunch Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I think if you could answer this, (or better yet solve this!), you could retire immediately!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I think it's the action of opening and shutting the door. It's pretty challenging. Yes, it's this. I'm the person who leaves cupboard doors open as well. Opening & dishwasher door is like "whoa, dude. You really have to be motivated..." The sink & counter are JUST RIGHT THERE. I let dishes pile up throughout the day & then shove them in a whole bunch at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I have an odd problem with this. My husband believes all dishes must be washed before being put in. I am talking complete with dish soap and all. It really irritates me. So, he is in charge of the dishes. He does not want anyone to put dishes in the dishwasher. When he is gone, I have the kids put them in anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UncleEJ Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Yes, it's this. I'm the person who leaves cupboard doors open as well. Opening & dishwasher door is like "whoa, dude. You really have to be motivated..." The sink & counter are JUST RIGHT THERE. I let dishes pile up throughout the day & then shove them in a whole bunch at a time. If I read this aloud to DH, he would think I wrote it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medawyn Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 And I'm on a campaign to get people to realize that all that handy toilet paper that has been appearing conveniently in the cabinet right next to the toilet for years wasn't put there by the toilet paper fairy. Someone had to go down in the basement and retrieve a full package to fill the cabinet. I'd just be happy if people let the toilet paper fairy know that the extra stash is out, so she doesn't find out at inconvenient moments. Because everyone knows the toilet paper fairy is the ONLY ONE who knows where extra is stored, so she's up a creek without a paddle if rescue is needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 It's the same malady that doesn't allow anyone besides me to fold laundry. I've had 3 laundry baskets full of clothes for about a month now, and I've intentionally left them there to see who will fold. No one has stepped up to fold. We're all dressed in clean clothes, so maybe I don't need to fold anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Yes, it's this. I'm the person who leaves cupboard doors open as well. Opening & dishwasher door is like "whoa, dude. You really have to be motivated..." The sink & counter are JUST RIGHT THERE. I let dishes pile up throughout the day & then shove them in a whole bunch at a time. Our kitchen is mid-remodel. Really sort of at a functional stopping point while DH did other things and we waited for the new IKEA cabinets to come out. The only cabinets we have are in the kitchen sink area, and the rest are wooden shelves we bought when a World Market closed down. One of the things I am really really enjoying is not having doors. It looks incredibly ugly, but sooo functional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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