Would you continue to vacation with family if......

[HappyLady]

They pretty much ruin your vacation every time?  I know the obvious answer is no, but let me explain.  For the past 10 or so years, my DH and I have gone on 2 weekend trips with my sister and her kids.  It started out just my DH and myself (we didn't have kids at the time) and then I invited my sister and her kids because honestly, they didn't really have a good home-life and I was always looking for ways to bring some joy to my sister's kids.  There were always little things that my sister did to annoy me on those trips, but I could let them go.

 

Fast forward to now and I'm just ready to be done with these trips.  The problem is that both my sister's kids and my kids look forward to them very much.  These trips are honestly the highlights of their year and I don't want to take that away from them.  My sister's family is pretty much the only family that my kids know so that's another reason why I've continued to do this and because I want my kids to be close to their cousins.  These vacations really bring them together as they don't see each other all that often otherwise.

 

I just dread these trips now, though.  My sister and I have grown so much apart that it's almost impossible to be around her without getting really upset.  

 

So what do I do?  Continue with these weekend trips for the kids' sake or not do them anymore because I don't find them enjoyable?  These used to be my favorite things to do over our summer and I'd still like to do them with my kids, just not if that means my sister is going to be there as well.  And bringing just her kids isn't an option.

 

Thoughts?  Suggestions?

[Wabi Sabi]

I do it every year and every year I say never again! Vacationing with my family (mom and siblings with their children) is downright awful. That said, I continue to do it year after year because it is the only time that my kids get to see their cousins and even though there's always drama between the adults, the kids do genuinely love it and it is a very special time for them. 

My husband, however, opted to bow out this year as have many of my other siblings' spouses. I take the kids on the trip while dh stays home, and that's probably for the best. Next year I'm going to bring a tent and camp nearby instead of staying in the same vacation rental as the rest of the family and hope that the little bit of distance that provides will help. 

[bettyandbob]

Can you just take the kids? Suggest to your sister that she enjoy time off parenting and do something for herself.

 

 

[bolt.]

A) go down to one weekend, and consider it volunteer work. -- Its not your vacation. It's a service project. Difficulties serving difficult people are expected.

 

B ) offer to take the kids off her hands and "babysit" so she can have a "break".

[EKS]

Could you have the cousins over to your house for a weekend and then do your own family vacation some other time?

[poppy]

Find something else to do during the days and leave her watching the kids. Or vice versus. Just be cheerful. 'Ken & I found a really cool cove / museum we want to explore, just the two of us, and then I d like to have a romantic dinner with him since we're nearing our anniversary . I was wondering if you'd mind watching the kids on Saturday? Of course we'd be happy to give you two a day to yourselves the next day - well take care of the kiddos!"

[Night Elf]

That is a hard one. I think the right thing to do is grin and bear it because it means so much to the kids and they are creating memories that will always be with them. But I'll confess I can feel selfish at times and I'd probably find an excuse not to go this year. Vacations should be enjoyable for all parties. I cannot imagine feeling dread for a weekend trip. :grouphug:

[MinivanMom]

I think my answer depends on what your sister is doing to ruin the vacation. Are you sure it's not something that's impacting your kids? Children see and understand much more than we think.

 

I agree with the previous suggestions to offer to host the cousins without sister. Is she a single mom? She might jump at the idea as long as you frame it the right way.

[Miss Mousie]

Hmm, that's a tough one. 

 

Are the annoying bits small things (leaving cabinet doors open, not taking a turn at cooking, leaving you to clean up) or big things (conversations about how you're living your life all wrong, yelling at/picking on your kids)?  And are the trips more the "rent a cabin and go hiking and boating every day" type or the "book a big suite at a resort and hang out by the pool until it's time to eat again" type? 

 

If you can get your own sleeping space, where you can retreat during the day for a couple hours, that might help.  If both families can spend a good chunk of the day doing separate activities, and then come together for dinner and evening fun, that might help.

 

If it's really big stuff, though - your religion is wrong, homeschooling is messing up your kids, I think your husband is a jerk - then you might have to suspend the vacations for a year or two and see how everybody feels about it.

 

 

[Miss Tick]

Maybe you can find a resort that offers family therapy and kill two birds with one stone!

 

But really, Miss Mousie is right, what kind of annoying, what kind of vacation?

 

Lacking that info, I like the ideas of trying to have some separate space and maybe cutting back to one weekend a year. I also think you are smart to keep dh out of it, then he is there for relief when you return.

[justasque]

--A weekend is not that long.  Try brainstorming changes to the routine that would help mitigate the problems.  Can you choose another activity, another location, another housing/sleeping/eating set-up?

 

--As your kids all get older, their schedules will get more complicated, and the problem may take care of itself if/when you can't find a date that works for all of you.

[LucyStoner]

And bringing just her kids isn't an option.

 

 

Why not?  

[LibraryLover]

And inquiring minds want to know what she's doing... ;) She adores the getaways and you hate them.  That's a great divide. A weekend is short...if the children love them, I might be inclined to continue and spend less time with sis. Keep it going with field trips, games etc.  I'm assuming you're not sharing a hotel room? That would be the first thing to change if so. Also, do your children look forward to these gatherings? If so, I'd not want to disappoint them.

[PrairieSong]

If the kids love the weekend trips, I would find some way for them to get together. I like the suggestion of having your sister's kids come to your house. If that isn't possible and you can't think of another option, I would probably suck it up if it's only a weekend at a time. That's not too terribly long. What does she do that makes it so awful?

[Carol in Cal.]

I would try to fix things with your sister.  That's the root problem, and sister relationships are really important ones.

[myfunnybunch]

In your shoes, I would take one trip a year with sister and her kids, and stop thinking of it as a vacation. Going into the trip knowing that it will be work, even if it's mostly "grin and bear it" emotional work, sets you up for a different expectation for the trip. Any fun or relaxation will be an unexpected bonus instead of the expectation that's spoiled every time.

 

Then I'd set aside the second weekend trip for my family only, and enjoy the heck out of it. :)

 

Or keep the weekend trips for family sake, but plan a longer true vacation with only your kids and dh.

 

Cat

[Ravin]

I would try and find a tactful way of inviting the kids without your sister.

[idnib]

I would keep doing it. It's just two weekends per year and the kids will grow up and move on, so it's not like it's forever. Try to think longer term: some day you and your sister will be gone. Do you want your kids to have a relationship with their cousins after that happens?

[Tess in the Burbs]

well after having spent a week with my sister this year dreading it, and then regretting it, I would say stop going.  

 

ideally I would vacation with people I enjoy spending time with.  We did that when growing up.  We didn't go with family unless it was just unavoidable.  

 

So I have tried to vacation with my sister more than once.  Every time she ruins it.  Every time I try again I try to avoid the previous issue.  But nope, there are always more.  This last time I requested the cussing stop and I was told they didn't want to hang out with us anymore that week.  Literally if we were going to the same restaurant they would wait an hour and go after we had gone.  They sat outside one night for hours until we finally left for dinner so they could go without us.  And she had the gall to comment we were not sociable this last trip.  

 

Just thinking about it makes my blood boil how my family was treated.  

 

So no, I would say stop the trips.  Say your kids are older and you guys want to do some other things together.  And perhaps try to get together another time with her kids.  good luck.  

[Reefgazer]

Can you offer to take your sister's kids on the trips with your family, as a 'favor' to your sister, so she can have 'alone time'?  If not, I would skip the combined vacations and try to get the kids together at other times during the year.

[Anne in CA]

Is the issue that your sister is resentful of your happiness? In that case I totally get why it is hard to be around her for a whole weekend. I still would go on at least one weekend trip for the kids, and consider it ministry to her and her kids. 

 

When I went I would have my Iphone charged and stock up with good audio books and music and keep my headphones in just like a teenager. Also, I would be Pollyanna every time she talked to me and not let anything rude that she might say take a hit on your personal happiness. I learned this technique with my oldest. No matter what rude thing she says I would pretend not to understand, turn her rudeness back on her and stick my earphones back in. It is not easy, but it is REALLY satisfying, lol.

[Joanne]

No. I would honor the fact that I was in a different season of life and would end the routine of those weekends.

[HappyLady]

Is the issue that your sister is resentful of your happiness? In that case I totally get why it is hard to be around her for a whole weekend. 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I think that's exactly it.  I had a big, long post typed out as to some of the things she's done over the years, but I think you'd have to understand our family history to really understand why I'm so mad.  Part of it is that since I'm better off financially, she tries to stick me with paying for the majority of everything.  As it is, I do pay for a good portion of everything, but after years of her taking advantage of me, I've started to not let that happen as I used to.  And it's not that she's poor, she's just financially irresponsible.

 

One big one from our last trip was her allowing her 18 year old son get completely drunk.  The way she's raising her kids and the way I'm raising mine are completely different.  My kids are only 6 and 4 and right now I say I won't let them drink at 18, but even if I did, I wouldn't let them get as drunk as my nephew did.  And yes, she was the one who bought the alcohol for him (she drinks as well, I don't).  We sat around our campfire the one night and my DH, my 14 year old niece, and myself all had to make sure my nephew didn't fall into the fire.  No joke.  My sister just sat there drinking herself.  I said I wanted nothing to do with my nephew drinking and she looked at me like I was a weirdo or something.  I really didn't enjoy what was suppose to be a relaxing evening by the fire, making sure my nephew didn't set himself on fire.

 

The incident with my nephew was just a one-time thing, but it just seems like each year she adds on to what she does to get me mad.  Not that it's any of my business what she allows her own children to do, but I know she knows I wouldn't approve of such a thing, especially in front of my kids.

[fairfarmhand]

If your kids are little and hers are teens, I don't see the issue.

 

Really, they will be okay with stopping these trips.

 

Honestly. I'd hate them too.

[HappyLady]

Here's another thing she did this year.  Every year I make up a list of everything each family should bring camping.  I'm very generous in what I bring vs. what she brings.  This year she asked if she could not bring one item on her list in exchange for something else.  I agreed and told her to bring the corn on the cob.  On our way there we rode girls in one car and boys in another (per the kids' request).  My sister and I were talking and somehow the subject of food comes up and she goes, "Oh, I didn't get any corn for your family."  I ask why not and she said, "You didn't tell me to."  Now, we've been doing this for 10 years.  She's not a skatterbrain and she knows darn well she was suppose to get enough corn for everyone.  So I text my DH in the other car to find some veggie stand along the way so my sister can get corn.  We stop, I look at her, and she goes, "Oh I don't have any money."  She did, but it was just one more way for her to annoy me.

 

That's similar to what she did last year.  We always go hiking in this park that has an entrance fee (per car).  I knew she was going to pull the "I don't have any money" routine so I told my DH on the way there to stop at my sister's bank.  We go there and my sister asks why we're there.  I tell her to get money out so we can go hiking.  Her exact words were, "Oh I'm not paying for that."  She never had a problem any other year!  So I had to decide there to either fight with her about it or just pay for her so the kids can have a good time.  Of course I paid.

 

Like I said before, she's not poor.  She just thinks I should pay for everything so she can spend her money foolishly.

[HappyLady]

If your kids are little and hers are teens, I don't see the issue.

 

Really, they will be okay with stopping these trips.

 

Honestly. I'd hate them too.

 

 

My sister's kids are 18, 14 and 9.  The 18 year old said our trips are the highlight of his year and never wants to stop going on our trips.  I know the other two feel the same way.

[sassenach]

Yes, I think that's exactly it. I had a big, long post typed out as to some of the things she's done over the years, but I think you'd have to understand our family history to really understand why I'm so mad. Part of it is that since I'm better off financially, she tries to stick me with paying for the majority of everything. As it is, I do pay for a good portion of everything, but after years of her taking advantage of me, I've started to not let that happen as I used to. And it's not that she's poor, she's just financially irresponsible.

 

One big one from our last trip was her allowing her 18 year old son get completely drunk. The way she's raising her kids and the way I'm raising mine are completely different. My kids are only 6 and 4 and right now I say I won't let them drink at 18, but even if I did, I wouldn't let them get as drunk as my nephew did. And yes, she was the one who bought the alcohol for him (she drinks as well, I don't). We sat around our campfire the one night and my DH, my 14 year old niece, and myself all had to make sure my nephew didn't fall into the fire. No joke. My sister just sat there drinking herself. I said I wanted nothing to do with my nephew drinking and she looked at me like I was a weirdo or something. I really didn't enjoy what was suppose to be a relaxing evening by the fire, making sure my nephew didn't set himself on fire.

 

The incident with my nephew was just a one-time thing, but it just seems like each year she adds on to what she does to get me mad. Not that it's any of my business what she allows her own children to do, but I know she knows I wouldn't approve of such a thing, especially in front of my kids.

I would not let my small children be around that. I would probably confront the dysfunction with the goal of still having the vacation happen. Meaning, I would have a boundary setting conversation knowing that she might comply (therefore saving the trips) or might not (therefore canceling the trips) and that the outcome would be completely up to her. My boundaries would include no underage drinking and an agreed upon financial split before the vacation happens.

[zoobie]

It sounds like you're making each other miserable. You're in a parenting role and she's acting like a rebellious child. Stop the vacations. When her kids are older, communicate with them directly and invite them to family events.

[Forget-Me-Not]

You've posted about your sister a lot. You need to draw some serious boundaries, and not just at vacation time. I would quit inviting her along.

[gaillardia]

We generally don't hang out with people that drink alcohol and if you don't drink at all and you know what she is capable of, then you shouldn't go camping or vacationing with her at all. You've made it too easy for her to freeload. She expects it.

Your children are a little bit too young to be making the decisions on the company your family keeps on vacations.

There is one word I would use the next time she mentions the usual family vacation, "No."

[idnib]

After the further information, I would add that the alcohol thing would not fly with me. The rest of it, I would honestly put up with for the sake of her kids. It just sounds like she drives people away and they pay the price. 

 

I would tell her the next trip has to be alcohol free. If she breaks that, I wouldn't do further trips unless it was just the kids.

[HS Mom in NC]

You need to stick to an extended family meal for major holidays.  Drunk teens around my littles would be enough for that to bring it to an end. No one drunk is bonding with extended family. Either I'd take nieces and nephews along without sis and enforce my rules or I'd end the vacations entirely.

[Seasider]

Here's another thing she did this year. Every year I make up a list of everything each family should bring camping. I'm very generous in what I bring vs. what she brings. This year she asked if she could not bring one item on her list in exchange for something else. I agreed and told her to bring the corn on the cob. On our way there we rode girls in one car and boys in another (per the kids' request). My sister and I were talking and somehow the subject of food comes up and she goes, "Oh, I didn't get any corn for your family." I ask why not and she said, "You didn't tell me to." Now, we've been doing this for 10 years. She's not a skatterbrain and she knows darn well she was suppose to get enough corn for everyone. So I text my DH in the other car to find some veggie stand along the way so my sister can get corn. We stop, I look at her, and she goes, "Oh I don't have any money." She did, but it was just one more way for her to annoy me.

 

That's similar to what she did last year. We always go hiking in this park that has an entrance fee (per car). I knew she was going to pull the "I don't have any money" routine so I told my DH on the way there to stop at my sister's bank. We go there and my sister asks why we're there. I tell her to get money out so we can go hiking. Her exact words were, "Oh I'm not paying for that." She never had a problem any other year! So I had to decide there to either fight with her about it or just pay for her so the kids can have a good time. Of course I paid.

 

Like I said before, she's not poor. She just thinks I should pay for everything so she can spend her money foolishly.

Hey Bean, I remember you wrote about this last year. Pretty sure we all told you then to stop setting yourself up for disappointment. After hearing about your nephew and the drinking, I again say, enough. Take your young, impressionable children and vacation where you want to, without having to deal with her ridiculous antics. The age difference between the kids makes it just fine to not jump hoops to preserve this annual farce of quality time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If it is the highlight of the 18 year old's year - he's an adult now and can come on his own without alcohol.  The other teens could advocate for themselves to come at their ages as well.  

[Carol in Cal.]

I'd approach the sister.

Say that you're uncomfortable with your children seeing excessive drinking, and you want to go together, but have no alcohol at all.  See what she says.

 

If she has a serious alcohol problem it might be just the wake up call she needs, and you will be doing her a favor.  Ditto in spades for her son, who at his age is more heavily at risk for developing alcoholism. 

 

She might get mad and not go.  So what?  So you have a great family vacation with your own nuclear family.

She might commit to it and sulk.  So what?  You already know she is a bit of a baby.  Ignore it.

She might commit to it but not keep her word.  You take the stuff and dump it, and you don't invite her again.  She did it herself this time, clearly.  Not safe at all.

Any of these outcomes is better in the long run than just calling it in advance right now, IMO.

[katilac]

You need to stick to an extended family meal for major holidays.   

 

 

See, I'd much prefer to give up a random weekend than a major holiday, lol! 

 

OP, I was going to say that I would suck it up for the kids - I wouldn't ruin my family vacation annually, no, but I also wouldn't consider a weekend camping to be a vacation. I'd consider it a family visit. 

 

But, then I saw the ages of all the kids. I would definitely stop the camping trips. As you pay more than your fair share anyway, there are many ways you could connect with her kids that don't involve weekends with your sister and her whole crew at once, even if you have to drive to pick them up, etc. For the same amount of time and money, you could see each of the kids one-on-one in a much more pleasant atmosphere, and lose the annoyance of your sister taking advantage of you and provoking you. 

 

I would definitely go above and beyond to spend time with the kids. That does not have to mean going on this camping trip till the end of time. 

[StephanieZ]

Hmm, this is a tough one! I was reading the thread, liking all the posts telling you to suck it up and make nice for the kids . . . then I got to the drunk 18 yo along with your little kids, and I was like, HEY, no! Then I got to the "highlight of the 18yo's year . . ."

 

What a tough situation!

 

I think you can talk straight up to the 18 yo and tell him that you love him, want to spend time with him, but that him drinking in front of your little kids is just a terrible example. The little kids look up to him, yada yada. Ask him if he can commit to not drinking at all in front of your kids until he is 21, and hopefully by then, to avoid inebriation in front of them forever. Because, that is what good "older cousins" do. I bet you might have good success with this.

 

About the money, I'd forget it. Just plan to spend the extra 100-300 or whatever it is on each joint trip to cover all the things she slacks on. You don't have to stop asking and showing expectation that she's paying her share, but when she resists, just pony up and LET IT GO. It is just money. It's not even a huge amount, really. Just consider it her birthday/holiday gifts, and only give token tiny gifts to her (and adult kids) in the future. Or, reduce your charitable giving. Or, trim your budget elsewhere. Family is priceless. Your sister is obviously taking advantage, and maybe once the kids are grown, you might have very little to do with her. But, you've built a good relationship among the cousins over the years, and to have an 18 yo young man say your trips are the highlight of his year means a LOT. You must be providing him with something special and precious. Don't drop that at this fragile time in his life.

 

And, FWIW, I think it is reasonable to ask the 18 yo to contribute to meals, etc, too, if he is employed. You might start small, by asking him to bring maybe the burgers and fixings for the families one night and be in charge of grilling it. That'd be a "manly" responsibility and he might love it. Be sure to compliment the burgers, lol, even if he forgets the ketchup or charbroils them. :)

 

At the end of the day, money is meaningless. Unless the $$ involved is an utter hardship to you, just pay and don't sweat it any longer. If it is a huge hardship, then reduce to one trip, perhaps. . .

 

 

[Anne in CA]

The 18yo getting drunk in front of your kids would be a deal breaker for me. I would invite the other two kids to do some fun things w/o your sister at times you know she cannot come, but no way no how would I go camping with someone that irresponsible. I live by a national park and I have an extremely good idea of what REALLY could have gone wrong. You were very lucky nothing worse went wrong with two drunk people and a bunch of young children to be accountable for. If she ups the ante every time you vacation, next time might really be something everyone will regret.

 

Your kids are young enough to be distracted about missing the weekends, her kids are getting old enough to choose good behavior if they want to be with you. 

 

You are a home school mom. You can take off a day when you know her kids have an in-service day with no school and she has to work to take them skating, or to the zoo. Get creative and get her out of the picture. Life is too short for her games. Her behavior is not just toxic, it is now really endangering.

[Lisbeth]

I am uncompromising about what environment my kids are in. Family of not, no way would I have drunks around my kids.

Imagine this is a next door neighbor....would you still go?

[LifeLovePassion]

Nope. We have stopped vacations with one side of the family because it wasn't a vacation for us. Sure the kids might like it, but for us to have to be on edge as parents it is no longer worth it.

[Mom in High Heels]

Nope.  You need to stop this.  If you're miserable, and it sounds like she's miserable, why bother?  Offer to have the kids over for a weekend, but don't go on a vacation with her.  That's not a vacation.

 

I've decided that as much as I love my mom, I cannot go on vacation with her again.  She complains NON STOP, and it ruins our fun.  I paid in full for her to go on a 14 day Mediterranean cruise with me and the boys, and all she did was gripe.  This was not a cheap trip!  Now she talks about how wonderful it was, but at the time, it was just bitch, bitch, bitch.  We (the boys and I) went to Disney World and Universal Studios with them a few months ago, and again, bitch, bitch, bitch.  Even Indy was getting tired of it.  He asked me how she could be such a grump in Disney World.  We had a great time, despite this, but at night when we were at the hotel, or when we were at meals, we couldn't avoid it.  Ack.  James Bond has said if we want to continue, we're welcome to, but he was OUT.  My mom offered to let Indy stay a few weeks at her house after Han Solo and I flew home, but he turned her down.  When I asked why, he said he wouldn't be able to stand the constant complaining.

[LibraryLover]

That update is really sad. :(  The fact that the 18 yr old wants to be with you...and the little  9 year old.  :( So sad for all. I guess I would change venues and only ask for the kids. That would mean a serious talk with your sister and not giving in, no matter.  Tell the teen no alcohol if he wants to join you.

[Storygirl]

Hmm, this is a tough one! I was reading the thread, liking all the posts telling you to suck it up and make nice for the kids . . . then I got to the drunk 18 yo along with your little kids, and I was like, HEY, no! Then I got to the "highlight of the 18yo's year . . ."

 

What a tough situation!

 

I think you can talk straight up to the 18 yo and tell him that you love him, want to spend time with him, but that him drinking in front of your little kids is just a terrible example. The little kids look up to him, yada yada. Ask him if he can commit to not drinking at all in front of your kids until he is 21, and hopefully by then, to avoid inebriation in front of them forever. Because, that is what good "older cousins" do. I bet you might have good success with this.

 

About the money, I'd forget it. Just plan to spend the extra 100-300 or whatever it is on each joint trip to cover all the things she slacks on. You don't have to stop asking and showing expectation that she's paying her share, but when she resists, just pony up and LET IT GO. It is just money. It's not even a huge amount, really. Just consider it her birthday/holiday gifts, and only give token tiny gifts to her (and adult kids) in the future. Or, reduce your charitable giving. Or, trim your budget elsewhere. Family is priceless. Your sister is obviously taking advantage, and maybe once the kids are grown, you might have very little to do with her. But, you've built a good relationship among the cousins over the years, and to have an 18 yo young man say your trips are the highlight of his year means a LOT. You must be providing him with something special and precious. Don't drop that at this fragile time in his life.

 

And, FWIW, I think it is reasonable to ask the 18 yo to contribute to meals, etc, too, if he is employed. You might start small, by asking him to bring maybe the burgers and fixings for the families one night and be in charge of grilling it. That'd be a "manly" responsibility and he might love it. Be sure to compliment the burgers, lol, even if he forgets the ketchup or charbroils them. :)

 

At the end of the day, money is meaningless. Unless the $$ involved is an utter hardship to you, just pay and don't sweat it any longer. If it is a huge hardship, then reduce to one trip, perhaps. . .

 

:iagree: with every word of this. Your nephew is an adult now (kind of), so treat him like one and have a conversation about his behavior. And if you decide to continue the vacations, don't point out to your sister opportunities for her to pay. By doing so, you are aggravating the situation. Just count on having to pay for everything and make the weekend your treat -- I promise it will make that part of it more pleasant for you. Just do it as a kindness.

 

If your nephew will not agree to avoid drinking, I'd back out of the trip as gracefully as possible or change what you do on the trip so that there is no time to sit around drinking alcohol.

[PrairieSong]

Ok, I take back what I said about "it's only a weekend" and do it for the kids. The drunk teen nephew is a no-go for me, and your sister is crossing all sorts of boundaries and is really good at being purposefully annoying and taking advantage of you. I would say No to further weekends with all of them. I might consider spending time with the sister's three kids without sister, but the 18yo would have to know he cannot be drinking alcohol. If he does, I'd send him straight home.

[bettyandbob]

What you describe in your update is not small.

 

If I could figure out a way I'd invite the kids separately from their mom. I'd had a serious talk with 18yo before inviting him. If I could not figure out how to do that , then joint weekends would stop.

 

I think I'd try to find a different way to stay involved in the kids' lives. It sounds like they need a stable adult they know cares.

[mamakelly]

Um no way. You are okay with your kids seeing a drunk 18 year old, acting like a fool just to please your sister? It's time to draw the line.