Weddings

[Night Elf]

I don't know why I'm thinking so much of weddings lately. I'm curious, how many here have had large weddings, like 100+ people attend? My first wedding had less than a dozen people. We didn't have a large circle of either friends or family. And my second marriage was performed by a JP at the courthouse. We didn't even have a party or anything. I can't imagine a large wedding. I was nervous enough with no one there!

[Seasider]

300+

 

Not sure I'd do that again. Certainly not as fancy. We loved it but when I think back about the cost and how time consuming planning and arranging it was...

 

I want my kids to have the wedding they want, but so far they're all thinking simple is good. Hope that sticks.

[Kathryn]

I think we had around 40. When we got married in our church last year, it was just us, the kids, and each of our godparents. I liked that one more. I'm not really a "center of attention" kind of person and neither is DH.

[KrissiK]

Mine was about 300 people. I hated it. I mean, it was gorgeous, everything went perfectly, it was a lovely wedding. It really was and I am thankful for it. But I just hate being the center of attention, and all that stuff that goes with being a bride. I was so afraid I would trip or say or do something stupid that I really didn't enjoy myself a whole lot. But, everyone who attended said it was lovely and they had a good time, so.... It's all good, I guess.

[Arcadia]

Wedding receptions for my relatives are typically more than 300 people and have reached close to 600 people for a paternal cousin. They are typically held at hotel ballrooms. My dad is the youngest and I have close to forty paternal cousins so weddings have always been like a big family roll call.

Church weddings are big too in my family. We fill the pews. For those of us not doing church weddings, we do the wedding vows at the registry of marriage.

We call all the guests to save the date and hand deliver or mail invitation cards. Then we have to call those who did not RSVP.

[Loowit]

Mine was probably right around 100 people. I remember visiting with people and stuff, but really don't remember feeling like I was the center of attention.  We had a lot of family and friends and it was like a big party.  I also made an effort for it to not be about me.  I made sure that DH was just as involved in everything, so the wedding really was about us.

[Guest]

We had 200+ people at our wedding and reception, and it was so much fun, I would do it every weekend if I could afford it.  

 

$2000 all told.  I designed and had my dress made, and paid for the bridesmaids dresses and flowers.  My mom's friends put together the punch-and-cookies reception.  I got silk flowers half price from a previous wedding and re-made the bouquets to suit me.  Potluck dinner reception at my parents' house for about 75 people.  The most delicious and beautiful cake made by a friend, the organ playing donated by a lifelong friend of the family, out-of-towners bunked at friends houses.  

 

We both knew every single person at the wedding reception, so the receiving line was 2 hours long--we talked and talked to everyone.  During the wedding, my dad practically had to pull me down the aisle because I kept seeing people who came from a long ways away, or who had new babies, or whatever, and I wanted to greet them ALL.  

 

It wasn't that complicated.  We were engaged 6 months--Mother's Day to mid-November--and it was nothing LIKE a full-time job to pull this off.  IT wasn't in any way about Queen for a Day, but about getting married and having a lot of fun doing it.  

 

I had a blast, and so did everyone else.  I heard about it for years.  

 

[JustEm]

DH and I eloped so the only people there besides us were the minister in this tiny little chapel and the person he paid to take pictures for us.  I wouldn't have it any other way!  2 years ago we got married in the Catholic church but didn't do anything special for it. I wore the same dress I wore when we eloped and we invited immediate family only. We may have had lunch at my parents' house afterwards but I don't remember because we have lunch at my parents' house every Sunday.

[happi duck]

At the time we thought our wedding was simple but if I could go back in time it would be pared down even more!

[Laura Corin]

There were about twenty people at our wedding - we had about two weeks to plan it, so it was small.  Lovely - among the Redwoods in Northern California.

 

L

[MrsMommy]

I know we invited over 100, but I think there were actually about 90 in attendance? Is it bad that I can't remember?

 

What I do remember is that I invited people that I really didn't care to see (because I "had" to), and there were a few people who were unable to attend for a variety of reasons, and I'm still sad that they weren't there.

 

Weddings are weird.

[Spryte]

There were about twenty people at our wedding - we had about two weeks to plan it, so it was small.  Lovely - among the Redwoods in Northern California.

 

L

 

We planned ours in 2 weeks, too!  We each had one friend attend, plus parents.  That's it.  Loved it.  It was out of state for both of us.

 

(And nope, no surprise pregnancies, just wanted it to be on a particular date.)

[Laura Corin]

We planned ours in 2 weeks, too!  We each had one friend attend, plus parents.  That's it.  Loved it.  It was out of state for both of us.

 

(And nope, no surprise pregnancies, just wanted it to be on a particular date.)

 

I needed a visa to work in the US - long story.

 

L

[Chris in VA]

We had about 100 people--it was considered small.

 

We got married in CT, where my parents had moved to just about 2 years earlier. The only friends of mine that could come were in the wedding party. It was fun, but there are things I'd change if I could! I think lots of people think that.

[Cinder]

We had about 40 at our wedding. It was a small wedding under a tree in a city park with the reception at a Chinese restaurant. No one from dh's family attended as we married in my home state which was too far for them to travel to.

 

 

[FaithManor]

350 people attended...this was my parents idea and their insistance. I should have said no thanks and eloped. I was miserable in a crowd that big, it took forever to get through the buffet lines, the noise, log receiving line that took forever, it was all way too much and most of the people were from my parents' church which I had not attended while away at college or my dad's business acquaintances. Ugh! Our food was cold by the time we greeted 350 people and took photos for 25 minutes.

 

The only good thing about it was that we were married. That's it.

 

So, we let dd call the shots when she got married last year and we 80 people there. So much more intimate and manageable. I'm so glad we did it that way because she had emergency surgery 3 weeks before the wedding and could not have handled a big event. As it was, the reception lasted two and half hours and it was obvious that she needed to get out of there and go to bed.

 

I have 3 boys left so we probably won't have any say in it, but I'd vote, if I could, for destination weddings with only a handful of people around. I'm now involved in professional event planning and I can tell you that in a lot of families, weddings bring out the pettiness in people and many brides end up not enjoying the day.

[LuvToRead]

Where I live, 100 would be considered small.   We routinely go to weddings with 500+ guests.  I think we had roughly 350 guests.  

[Tap]

Planned it in 3 days.  Less than 20 in attendance. It was at the JPs office, who had a small room and seating for 20 for weddings.  

 

I don't regret where I was married (JP) but wished I would have held my own with my family and stuck to my first plans, instead of letting them take over and do what they wanted with my dress and reception.  The only thing I picked out was my panties and the JP.  Everything else was commandeered by someone else in the family and told I was wrong for how I was handling it. I had  zero say in anything sentimental having to do with my wedding.  Unfortunately, I do not have fond memories of my wedding at all, and actually, it makes me sad to think of it. 

[Ellie]

We might have had 100 people. We loved it. :-)

 

My three attendants made their own dresses. A friend from church made mine (my future mil paid for the fabric). We bought our flowers from a woman whose shop was in her back yard. We got our cake from a woman whose shop was in her kitchen. My grandparents, who had brought me up, were there (El Cajon, California) from North Carolina and my grandfather walked me down the aisle. One of Mr. Ellie's cousins was an usher, another was the photographer. The reception was at the church fellowship hall, and our friends from church took care of the reception. We had a wonderful time.

[BrittanyM]

About 350-400 it was an outdoor wedding and aside from some of DH's family I hadn't met yet and a few of their family friends I knew everyone.

[MiMi 4under3]

I wanted to elope or have a destination wedding for two, but MIL insisted on 120 of "just the closest family."   :laugh:

 

*My* only guests were my mom, dad, sister, and brother.  It was beautiful but completely unnecessary!! 

[Freckles]

We invited 250. The church only held max 250. We got married at the Chapel at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. It was gorgeous.

[ChristyB in TN]

We went to the courthouse. My husband's best friend was there as was the girl he met the night before. Ahhhhhh to be young........

[Ewe Mama]

We had a little over 150 people at our church wedding. I would have preferred to keep it smaller so I could actually talk to our guests instead of feeling overwhelmed by the number of people. I am a small group person, so that many people felt like a thousand to me. I loved all of our guests, but they became a blur of faces instead of dear friends and family helping to make our day one of cherished memories.

[sassenach]

150ish.

[I talk to the trees]

I think we had about 75 people there, most of whom my mother insisted on inviting. I think she was afraid of offending someone by not inviting them. (Seriously? Distant cousins that I have only met once? Whatever.)  Looking back, I wish we had just eloped.

[Jenny in Florida]

I think we had about 25 or 30 people, including the choir who sang for the ceremony. (I was a choir member, and the group at the time made up most of our social circle.) We got marred in a small rotunda at our then-church and had the reception at our apartment. The whole thing (including my dress, my husband's tux and the three-day honeymoon) came in at a little over $3,000. The only two things I would do differently if I could go back in time would be to hire a professional photographer (instead of making do with a bunch of disposable cameras handed out to guests) and hiring a few folks to serve and clean up the food.

[Janie Grace]

We had about 300. It was nice; my single mother (who NEVER indulged herself) had been saving money for it since I was a little girl. It was so generous of her to give me a "nice" wedding after years of shopping at thrift stores and not being able to go on field trips or do other special things because of money. It was in a beautiful setting with a lovely sit-down dinner. It was maybe a bit more formal than I would do if I had it to do again... but really, it was lovely. I didn't begrudge my or dh's parents the guests they invited -- I was happy to share our special day with people who had watched me grow up (the way *I* will want my best friends to see my kids get married). We were right out of college and had lots of friends who were able to come, too.

 

I don't love being the center of attention, but I don't get anxious about it either. I had some preferences but not super strong ones... my mom wasn't really opinionated either. I did have to stand up to the coordinator at the country club because she told me people would *expect* an open bar (not just bottles of wine at the tables like we wanted) but she backed down when we told her we really didn't care what people expected. 

 

It was a lovely day.  :001_wub: We greeted every single person at the reception. I cannot imagine eloping! Just not my thing.

[LucyStoner]

50ish. But we married in when most of our friends were far flung for college (February) so a lot smaller than it would have been in the summer. Also, I am estranged from most of my maternal side and my large paternal side is far away. My husband comes from a very small family.

[a27mom]

Ours was about 200.

 

My dh had 70+ relatives on the list to invite (most of them came). I only had 16 relatives to invite, and 8 of them came. we were married here (where dh grew up and I went to college) so we had lots of friends as well.

 

Our church also had the policy that weddings are a religious service, so weddings are announced in the bulletin, and technically anyone can attend the ceremony. Though most don't if they don't receive a personal invitation

[medawyn]

We had around 300 - and a lot of that was family!  My family is definitely over a 100, and my husband's family is close to that.  We're both blessed to have rather close-knit extended family relationships.

 

If someone had asked me prior to planning my wedding if I would ever have wanted a group that large, I would have said no, and we even talked seriously about a destination wedding.  But in the end, we wanted to be able to invite our whole families with reasonable expectations that they would be able to come, so a large wedding became inevitable.  My whole family was in attendance, minus two members, which is a record in and of itself.

 

The only challenging part was that we definitely did not get to greet everyone there - at least not with the time I wish I could have had.  We did write notes (personal, handwritten) to every guest and had them waiting as place cards at dinner.  Although the task of writing them had me cursing a blue streak in the days just before the wedding, I absolutely loved thinking about each guest and why we had included them.  There were very, very few generic "thank you for coming" notes; almost every guest was someone with whom either myself or DH had a personal relationship.

[TechWife]

I don't remember! I want to say it was somewhere around 50-60. I'm thinking I didn't obsess on the number of people. I do remember I padded the catering order by ten people because I had some people who did return their RSVP cards. I just really don't remember. 

[Erin]

Ours was around 200 or so.  We had it outdoors at the local state park.  I hung white ribbons on the bridge over the creek and that was it for decor.  lol

We provided no seating (except for our grandmothers)--told everyone to bring lawn chairs, blankets, etc.  The reception was a buffet supper type of thing.  

Everything was extremely relaxed and low-key.

 

Really, the entire purpose of the whole shebang was the dance.   ;)

 

 

Seventeen years later, we still have family and friends telling us how much fun our wedding was.  

[Crimson Wife]

We had about 100 people--it was considered small.

 

We had something like 110 at ours, and that was considered "small" as well. Anything under 150 was considered small, 150-250 medium, and >250 large. Maybe because Irish Catholics tend to have bigger families and tend to stay close to extended relatives?

 

There was a big snit on the part of some of my dad's cousins because while I invited them, I drew the line at inviting their kids (my 2nd cousins). If we invited them and their spouses, plus all DH's second cousins and their spouses, the guest list would've gone up by another 60 people or so.

[HS Mom in NC]

45

[SunnyDays]

We had around 275.  But we both came from the same small-ish town and knew almost everyone between our two families... we sent just over 300 invitations, I think. 

[Carrie12345]

I can tell you there were 18 people present who *I* invited to my wedding, and 4 who couldn't make it.  I can't tell you how many were actually there.  My mil sent out her own invitations, unbeknownst to me until I was walking down the aisle.  Based on what little I remember (blocking out anxiety and annoyance while trying to get married takes a lot of brain room,) maybe 40-50.

 

We didn't plan a formal reception, just a gathering at a relative's house afterward for 18. (Well, 21, counting me, dh, and ds.)

 

I don't regret the tiny affair we had planned at all.  I just wish it had been the tiny affair we had planned, lol.

[Baseball mom]

Probably 50 people.  Simple wedding planned fast. No not pregnant but a close family member was going to be in town that weekend. 

[G5052]

About 150.  We were both older professionals, so we were pretty decisive and did the planning ourselves for a wedding at the church were we met, many states away from both families.  My parents paid for a hotel reception amid a lot of controversy on that side of the family.  Mom never did like DH and did all she could to stop the relationship and then the marriage; Dad was completely on board from the beginning.  At the last minute they came anyway and Dad walked me down the aisle.  Ah...families.

 

If I did it again in middle age, it would be much smaller and low-key.  My friends who have remarried have all done small affairs.

[PrincessMommy]

I don't know why I'm thinking so much of weddings lately. I'm curious, how many here have had large weddings, like 100+ people attend? My first wedding had less than a dozen people. We didn't have a large circle of either friends or family. And my second marriage was performed by a JP at the courthouse. We didn't even have a party or anything. I can't imagine a large wedding. I was nervous enough with no one there!

 

We had about 120 invited (I think just under 100 attended).. which I don't think of as "large".   The thing that was completely insane is that I had the reception at my parents house!  What was I thinking??? And why did my parents agree to that insanity??!!  There is no WAY I would ever, ever, ever agree to doing that at my home.

 

My dd had a bit over 200 people- it was VERY stressful.  That is too large to me. - but we have a big family.  Over 100 were family members (and not distant relatives).  My Son-in-law is a priest's son - so you can't invite the parish without offending someone... and it was a smallish parish (50 people - adds up though).  The of course, clergy friends, etc. ,etc. etc.  It was crazy.  Oh and he is an only child - so this was it for them.  Ours was almost all family and theirs was almost all church friends.    I told my other kids they're not allowed to marry a PK.

 

Anyway,  if *I* get a say I'd do less than 100 too.